Shame at the Checkout
Beads of cold sweat rolled down Rainbow Dash’s neck. The hot ceiling lights above intensifying the anxiety she felt to such a point that she felt as though she was going to pass out. There she was, standing in the middle of Ponyville's largest store. Her eyes were wide, staring at the newest piece of fan-merchandise being sold.
No, it wasn't anything to do with the Wonderbolts.
It was a limited-time offer Daring Do wallet. Rainbow Dash had to keep her mouth shut to prevent herself from drooling. The wallet was grey and had the adventurer’s face printed on the front, grinning competitively at some invisible foe. Even as a picture, she was a force to be reckoned with. Hilariously, based on how she looked out of the wallet, Rainbow Dash felt as though she was the foe- her hero's ruby eyes piercing into her own like an arrow nocked on a bow, primed to fire.
Overall, it was beyond awesome, much better than most of the merchandise mass-produced for the franchise. The smiling image of Daring Do, the snarling beasts in the background that tried to grab her as she swung away on a rope. Rainbow Dash did not just want the wallet. She craved it, hungered for it. The wallet was like a siren singing a heavenly song, inciting her to buy it.
Picturing all of the fans of Daring Do wearing their own accessories, from saddle-bags to jewelry, made Dash ripe with envy. Not only because of the cool merchandise that they had and she wanted, but because they had the bravery to go outside and show it off without caring about anybody else's opinion. Even though many ponies derided the books series as “foalish”, and mocked anypony beyond a certain age who liked it, that didn't stop many die-hard fans from showing it off. Their response would be to simply lift their muzzles up with a smile and walk off, as if they owned the town and did not give a flying feather what others thought.
Rainbow Dash knew that except for her close friends, like Twilight and Applejack, most Ponyville mares her age didn't read the 'Daring Do' series. Instead, they read more “mature” books, such as the ”Fifty Shades of Clop” novel that everypony seemed to be talking about. Sure critics and stallions everywhere panned it, but that didn't stop a large number of mares from enjoying the erotic stories within. It seemed the cyan pegasus ran into herds of mares reading it every day, sitting at coffee shops, leaning back against a tree, even standing in the middle of the street- blocking the path of everypony else. They would read it anywhere at any time.
But some were reserved and read the novel in private. One day, Rainbow Dash found a copy in Fluttershy's house, which the timid pegasus swore wasn't hers. Initially, Rainbow Dash didn't believe her. But then Rarity stopped by- claiming to have left something 'valuable' behind. When she saw that the athletic pegasus was present, she sheepishly made her way over to the book and picked it up. She then shot a glare at both pegasi, exclaiming that "this moment never happened" before trotting out of the cottage.
Snapping herself back to reality, Rainbow Dash focused all of her attention back on the wallet. She wished that she had a fraction of the guts that most mares, minus Rarity and some others, had when it came to expressing their love for books and other things they'd get judged for liking.
Though being a fan of Daring Do should have been far less embarrassing than liking that book, the odd truth of life was that it wasn't. The only reason Rainbow was confident enough to get the Daring Do books was because Twilight always got early copies. The librarian would allow Rainbow Dash to either get it early so she could sneak it out of the library when nopony was looking, or read the book in the privacy of the library itself. Though she was perfectly happy helping her friend sneak out of the library to read the book on her own, Twilight always hoped for Rainbow Dash to stay with her so they could embark on the adventures of Daring Do together.
The unicorn had even made a pair of matching "Reading Buddies" t-shirts for her and Rainbow. The cyan pegasus begrudgingly wore her shirt around the library- but only there. Never would she step outside wearing something so embarrassing.
Rainbow Dash was far too nervous to purchase the books in a public store. This fear had intensified the one time she decided to see where the local bookstore kept its copies of Daring Do. To her horror, they were in the back of the store, specifically in the "youth" section. This angered and confused her. Why would they put them in the youth section when ponies of all ages enjoyed the series- so long as they were willing to give it a chance?
It struck her as an insult, and she felt relieved that she made the decision to only purchase copies of the book from Twilight. But then she realized how silly and weak she sounded. She was Rainbow Dash; the supposedly tough and strong pegasus who never cared what others thought and took on life with a 'that's just your opinion' attitude. Angry with herself for being so self-conscious, she decided then and there to take measures to overcome her irrational fear of what others thought.
That’s why she was here today. She was going to buy her very first piece of Daring Do memorabilia (excluding the books, of course), and take a stand against this overwhelming, self-conscious fear! She would proudly purchase something she truly wanted.
I can do this, I can do this. She slapped her hoof against her head, psyching herself up like she was preparing for a flying competition. Every now and then she’d shift down the row of collectibles to make it appear as if she were looking at the newest Batmare accessories, a franchise much less embarrassing to be a fan of. She did like Batmare, but she liked Daring Do even more. So she kept her focus on the wallet with the adventure pony on it.
Just grab the bag, trot over to the checkout, pay for it and leave. It’s as simple as that. She thought. And besides, who cares what everypony else thinks. You’re Rainbow Dash! The fastest and coolest pony in Equestria, a wallet doesn't change that in the slightest.
She thought this with confidence, but in reality she felt anything but. The truth was that she did care what others thought about her. She cared about her image and how others viewed her. She didn't want to be seen as a weirdo or an oddity, she wanted to be seen as the awesome pegasus that she was.
As she continued to deliberate what to do, Rainbow Dash found herself interrupted when a monotone voice came over the intercom of the store: ”Attention shoppers. We’ll be closing in five minutes. Please finish finding what you're looking for and proceed to the checkout. Thank you."
Rainbow Dash swallowed hard. She took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly.
It's now or never. Come on, Rainbow. Make a decision and stick with it.
With that, she slowly extended a hoof out towards the wallet, seconds seemed like hours, the ceiling lights felt like the afternoon sun, blazing down upon the back of her neck and causing her to sweat even more. It was a nervousness she imagined Fluttershy felt before performing in the Hearth's Warming Eve play.
She extended her hoof out towards the wallet, grabbing it and bringing it to her chest. She fearfully looked from side to side, making sure nopony saw her. A couple of ponies trotted by, but they were too far away to notice the paranoid pegasus.
She let out a sigh, feeling slightly better now that she had forced herself to take action. But her anxiety didn’t end there, for she knew holding the wallet was only half the battle. The other half came from successfully making her way through checkout as quickly and stealthily as possible. She looked down at the wallet. Daring Do’s face gazed up into her own. Suddenly, Rainbow Dash felt a wave of determination surge through her.
I can do this. She thought, taking a couple deep breaths to steady herself. Daring Do would never care what anypony thought, and neither do I! I’m going to buy this wallet, and I’m going to hold my head up high while doing it! Bring it haters!
And with that, Rainbow Dash started to trot off, but stopped after about three steps. Her panic was surging, and she knew that she had to do something if she hoped to get through these next few minutes. She quickly turned and snatched two Batmare wallets that she thought looked somewhat cool and trotted off. It wasn’t that she actually wanted the Batmare wallets, even if she did enjoy some of the comics and movies. In all honesty, she had no desire to buy, let alone use, the two extra wallets she had in her possession right now.
But she felt that maybe, just maybe, if she bought two cool wallets from a more mature franchise such as Batmare, it would cancel out the “immature” Daring Do wallet in the eyes of the cashier and anypony else that happened to see her. She briskly trotted towards check-out, going as fast as she could, the Daring Do wallet sandwiched between the Batmare wallets to hide it from view.
She was still extremely nervous and could not go more than ten seconds without sneaking a glance over her shoulder, fearful that all of the customers in the store were staring at her. She imagined them pointing at her and calling her names behind her back because of her choice to buy the Daring Do wallet.
Finally she reached the checkout line. It wasn’t long, only one pony stood between her and the cashier. But as soon as she took her place in line, about three other ponies filed in behind her, crowding close in their eagerness to checkout before the store closed. Rainbow Dash took a couple of deep breaths and forced herself to relax, trying to put her mind on anything besides what she was purchasing. She didn’t want to appear nervous, that would draw unwanted attention to herself and, quite possibly, to the somewhat embarrassing wallet she intended to buy.
She was determined to get through the checkout as quickly and painlessly as possible. Her eyes wandered as she waited for the pony ahead to finish her transaction so she could get the ordeal over with. Dash gritted her teeth in aggravation as she watched the cashier sluggishly ring up a small mountain of food.
I knew I should have gotten in the express line, she thought.
Finally the mare ahead of Rainbow Dash finished paying and trotted off, staggering out of the store under roughly a dozen bags stuffed to the brim with food. Now it was Rainbow Dash's turn. There was nothing to prevent her from completing her mission now. She stepped up to the register and handed the cashier the three wallets. Daring Do was still sandwiched in between the two Batmares, a situation that would surely give some ponies ideas for inappropriate fanfiction. Rainbow Dash shuddered at the thought of such stories, especially when they involved her fictional hero.
She waited for the cashier to punch in the price of each wallet. Instead of scanners (which only the richer places in Equestria had) stores in Ponyville still used printed price tags. The cashier glanced at the top wallet’s price-tag and clicked it into his small calculator. He then turned the wallets over and found the price of the bottom Batmare wallet, and entered it in as well. Rainbow Dash held her breath in anticipation. Her head started to feel light.
“Excuse me,” the cashier said.
“Yeah?” Rainbow Dash answered meekly, preparing for the worst.
The cashier smiled. “You’re really a huge fan of Batmare, aren't you?”
Rainbow Dash’s jaw fell as pointed at the two wallets he already looked over.
“Oh...yeah that! He-he, I...I love...Batmare," she nervously said.
The stallion chuckled, “Me too. Especially the recent movies that came out. They're fantastic. Colt Nolan outdid himself with that finale.”
“Yep, he sure did.” Rainbow Dash sighed. "Gotta love that actress that plays her. What's her name? Hayseed Bale?
The cashier pony nodded and looked over the Daring Do wallet, a curious look on his face. Rainbow began to bite her lip, preparing for the cashier to call her out in front of the ponies that were behind her in line.
“Is everything...okay?” Rainbow Dash asked.
The cashier pony shook his head.
“No." He said. "I’m afraid something is not okay.”
Rainbow Dash closed her eyes, ready to hear something like "You do know this is a foal's book series, right?" or "pretty interesting wallet for the coolest pony in Ponyville, " or, possibly the worst, "What's next, are you gonna admit to wearing diapers, too?” She could just imagine everypony laughing at her, mocking her for liking something that was so unlike her normal interests, or at least the interests she wanted to put on display.
Finally cashier spoke: “The tag is missing from this wallet.”
Rainbow Dash opened her eyes and looked up at the cashier. “R-really? That’s it?” She asked, a wave of relief crashing over her.
“What else would it be?” The cashier asked with a small chuckle. "You ought to relax a bit, no point getting worked up about checking out."
"He-he, yeah. Silly me." Rainbow Dash anxiously said, running a hoof through her ragged mane. She still couldn’t believe that nothing happened. She had worked herself up to be humiliated in front of everypony behind her, yet the only thing the cashier noticed was the lack of a price tag. She was about let out a sigh of relief when the cashier did something that revived the terror she had felt.
Now Ponyville might not have had scanners at their stores, and much other technologies that could be found in wealthier parts of Equestria were also absent from the simple, quaint town.
Being a simple, quaint town meant that Ponyville lacked much of the technologies found in richer parts of Equestria (such as price scanners). But if there was one thing ponies in Ponyville took pride in, it was their ability to express themselves in the most gregarious, bombastic way possible. That was why so many impromptu songs broke out around town. It was one of the main reasons the town was so welcoming and full of brightness.
And that’s also why intercoms were commonplace.
The cashier grabbed what appeared to be a small microphone and before Rainbow Dash could stop him, spoke into it: “REGISTER TEN, I NEED A PRICE CHECK ON A ‘DARING DO ADVENTURE WALLET’!”
Rainbow’s face flashed to bright red instantly. She shrunk back from the counter, humiliated while the oblivious cashier continued.
“REGISTER TEN, COME ON I NEED A PRICE CHECK! IT’S THE WALLET FOR LITTLE FILLIES WITH DARING DO ON IT!”
Rainbow Dash slowly turned around to catch some of the ponies behind her, staring at her while some appeared to be laughing. As her wings folded tightly against her side, her ears fell flat against her head. She never felt more of a connection with Fluttershy than she did at that moment.
A taller stallion, roughly the same age as the cashier, trotted over to the register, a curious look on his face. “You called me over?” He asked.
The cashier nodded and pointed at the mortified Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah, this mare wants to buy these three wallets," the cashier said, now pointing at the three wallets lying out on the counter. He then tapped his hoof against the 'Daring Do' one. "But the tag on this Daring Do Wallet is missing. I was wondering if you could tell me the price so she could pay for it.”
Dear Celestia, why is he doing this to me!?! The pegasus thought, her cheeks now like a pepper in coloration and heat. Does he understand how embarrassed I feel right now?
The taller stallion put his hoof to his chin as if to ponder. “Hang on; this was in the youth section, right?”
Rainbow Dash cringed at the word 'youth' being used to describe something she was going to purchase. She felt as if she was shrinking, slowly turning back into a school-aged filly- the humiliation feeling like the age-reduction spell Trixie used when in Ponyville. She couldn't take it anymore.
“Actually," Rainbow Dash spoke up, "I don’t need it.”
The two stallions turned their attention towards her, eyebrows raised.
"What?" asked the taller stallion. "You don't need this 'Daring Do Adventure Wallet'?"
Stop referring to it by its full name! Rainbow Dash screamed in her head, but her external dialogue did not match her internal thoughts. Fortunately, this was a rare moment where she was able to bite her tongue to prevent unwanted thoughts from escaping her lips.
"Nope! Don't need it. I'm fine." Rainbow Dash said, her voice rapid and panicked.
“Really?” The cashier asked with a hint of doubt in his voice.
“Yeah.” Rainbow hastily responded.
The cashier looked at Rainbow Dash, then back at the taller stallion, who simply shrugged. The cashier nodded and turned back, still with a look of bewilderment still on his face.
“O-okay, then.” The cashier said, clearly not understanding the motive behind her sudden dismissal of the wallet. “That brings your total cost down to six bits for the two Batmare wallets.”
But Rainbow Dash didn't want the Batmare wallets. She wanted the Daring Do one. The other two were simply means to lessen the impact of her purchasing the 'Daring Do' wallet. Now that she chickened out, there was no need for her to buy them.
“On second thought...I just remembered I had a wicked sweet...Wonderbolts wallet at home!" She exclaimed. "Yeah, that’s it! Got a nice wallet with the Wonderbolts’ symbol on it. No need for these ones when I have a perfectly good wallet waiting for me at home. He-he.”
She thought that she heard a snicker come from behind her. She turned to see the four ponies with their hooves over their mouths. She still was not completely sure if they were talking and laughing about her or not, but this uncertainty did not make her feel any better. If anything it made her feel even more uneasy.
Rainbow took a step back. She couldn’t take it anymore. He wings extending and pulling back to her sides as she fought the urge to flee from the store like her tail was on fire. She turned her attention back to the two employee ponies, both of whom seemed completely oblivious to her inner torment. That was when she threw in the metaphorical towel.
“So...yeah...thanks I’ll see you later,” she said before bolting out the door, leaving a rainbow-colored trail in her wake. The stallions exchanged perplexed looks.
“What the hay just happened?” asked the taller, non-cashier pony.
“I have no idea,” the cashier muttered. The tall stallion walked off as the cashier let out a groan, pressing his hoof to his forehead.
“Next customer please?” He called out.
The tall employee left as a teenage colt trotted up to the register with a fresh 'Batmare' comic. He wore a pair of glasses and was quite thin.
The cashier smirked. “Ah the newest Batmare comic, I see.” He said.
“Yep! I love her, she’s so totally wicked awesome,” the colt said in a nasally voice, his braces making him spit a little as he spoke. The cashier opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced when the colt spoke up again.
“Hey, um, is there any chance that I could get those three wallets?” He asked, pointing at the three collectible wallets Rainbow Dash had abandoned, Daring Do still sandwiched in-between the two Batmares.
"Uh...sure." The cashier said, clearly confused but willing to play along. “What do you want them for? Just out of morbid curiosity?”
“Oh, I write fanfiction," The colt said with a grin, pointing down at the wallets, "and these three babies give me some excellent ideas!”
Rainbow Dash kept flying away from the store until she reached a small tuft of cloud. She flew up to it and landed, burying her face into it's comforting softness and crying.
Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? She thought. Why did I act like such a chicken?
She rolled onto her back and stared up, wiping her tears away. She always stood up for herself, even in the face of those that mocked her, and yet when it came to something as mundane as buying merchandise for a book series that she genuinely enjoyed, she found that her usual courage was gone.
Why do I let others’ opinions of me dictate how I act?
She sat up and sighed, staring at the ground beneath her. Ponies milled around, talking among one-another, laughing it up. She was too far up to hear what they were saying, but it was clear that they were having the time of their lives. She watched as three stallions, all dressed in classy business attire, stumbled out of a cider bar, laughing it up.
They were drunk and jolly, a truly winning combination. But what grabbed her attention was how they were acting- stumbling around like idiots. One even trotted over to a trash-can and, from what Rainbow could tell, vomited. The other two laughed at their sick friend before continuing down the road. The third stallion- now finished heaving up his drink- ran in a most comical fashion to catch up to his friends.
Rainbow Dash was never much of a drinker. In fact the most she ever had was one or two ciders, never getting drunk once. So as she watched this scene play out, she could not help but shake her head in disbelief.
What losers. Rainbow Dash thought with a chuckle. Is this really what passes as mature these days? Ponies getting wasted and acting like idiots as a means to escape their daily lives?
She lay back and stared up at the sky, now tinting orange as the Sun began to set.
Why did I get so worked up about what others possibly thought of me? She asked herself. I’m not even sure if they were laughing at me or not. But even if they were, why should I care what they think? When did drinking become more mature than enjoying quality entertainment?
Rainbow Dash slowly sat up, her eyes widening in realization as a confident smile replaced her expression of regret.
Yeah, She thought. Why should I care? The only pony whose opinion should matter is my own!
She stood proudly on the cloud, now grinning as the epiphany finally hit her.
Nopony has a right to mock me as immature! I am who I am, I like what I like, and I should not be ashamed to admit it!” She triumphantly exclaimed in her mind, her cockiness returned. I’m the awesome Rainbow Dash, and nopony can convince me otherwise!
She leapt into the air and with a triumphant holler flew off towards her home, already looking forward to the next day, when she’d go back to the store and purchase that wallet with her head held up high.
