I open my eyes, finding myself surrounded by darkness. I look around, trying to find anything familiar.

"Hello?" I whimper. "Is anypony there?" That's when I heard a deep menicing chuckle. My eyes opened wide with fear.

I watched the dark void around me change it's shape into the alleyway. My breathing became ragged, and my heart pounded in my chest. I was completely alone, with no way to escape the suffocating silence.

Suddenly, a voice, deep and menacing, reverberated through the darkness. "So, we meet again?"

I spun around, trying to find the source of the voice, but I could see nothing. "Who are you?" I squeak, my voice barely audible. The voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere. "What do you mean you're what's left of my memory of... Of that monster?"

The darkness seems to laugh again, the sound echoing through the void. "You could say that I'm your inner demon," it replies. "I am the Angel of Darkness, the embodiment of your pain, your fear, your suffering. I am what you tried to bury, what you tried to forget."

The darkness thickens around me, pressing in on all sides. "But I can't be forgotten, little flower. I am a part of you, as much as your own soul."

I feel a cold hoof on my shoulder, and I whirl around to face the source. "What do you want from me?" I ask, my words shaking with fear.

Angel of Darkness coalesces into a tall, imposing figure—a short cut up mane with dark, blood-red eyes. "What do I want?" Angel chuckles darkly. "What I want is to remind you of what you truly are. To make you face the darkness within yourself, to embrace it, to become it."

Suddenly, she sprouts wings out of her sides, casting a shadow that swallows the space around us. "You think you can escape your past, flower? But it's always there, waiting to claim you." Angel's face draws closer, her eyes boring into mine.

"And what if I don't want to face it? What if I want to forget it ever happened?" I whisper, my voice barely audible.

Angel of Darkness throws her head back and laughs, the sound harsh and grating. "Forget? Oh, you naive little creature. You can't forget something that's been etched into your very soul. It's a part of you, just as much as your mane, your coat, your very being."

The darkness seems to press in around me, suffocating and all-encompassing. I can feel the weight of Angel's words, the truth in them sinking into my very bones. I try to step back, to put some distance between myself and this terrifying apparition, but there's nowhere to go. The void is everywhere, and Angel is everywhere with it.

She looms closer, her presence becoming more oppressive. "But perhaps you don't need to forget. Perhaps you need to understand. To accept. To... embrace." Her words drip with malice, each one sending a chill through my body. "You can't run from me, flower. I am a part of you, just as much as your own shadow."

I stand frozen, my body shaking uncontrollably as Angel looms before me. Her presence is overwhelming, her dark aura suffocating the space around us. I can feel her malice pressing against me, threatening to consume me entirely.

"You can't escape me, flower," she says, her words dripping with malice. "I am the darkness that lives within you, the pain that you've tried so hard to bury. But I can't be buried. The only way to get rid of me, is to die..."

I stare at Angel, my body trembling uncontrollably. The weight of her words presses down on me like a physical force, threatening to crush me entirely. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. I'm paralyzed by fear, by the sheer, overwhelming presence of this demon that has sprung from the darkest recesses of my own mind. Angel seems to sense my paralysis, and a cruel smile spreads across her face.

She reaches out with one hoof, slowly, deliberately, and traces it along the length of my spine. I shudder at the contact, a chill running through me at the gentle, almost affectionate touch.

"Poor little Script," she murmurs, her voice dripping with mock sympathy. "So scared, so fragile. So...broken." Her hoof moves lower, coming to rest at the base of my tail. "And yet, here you are," Angel purrs, her hoof beginning to move in slow, deliberate circles. "Facing me, the embodiment of your darkest fears and desires. Doesn't that say something about you, flower?"

I bite my lip, trying to stifle a whimper as Angel's hoof continues its sensual ministrations. I can feel a strange, conflicting heat rising within me, even as my fear continues to mount. "I..."

I manage to whisper, my voice barely audible. "I don't want this. I don't want to die..." My body is rigid, every muscle tensed, ready to flee, but there's nowhere to go.

Angel chuckles darkly, her hoof never ceasing its slow, maddening circles. "Oh, but you do, little one. You just don't know it yet." She moves closer, her hot breath tickling my ear as she whispers. "The pain, the fear, the... pleasure. It's all part of you. You can't escape it, no matter how hard you try."

I feel a sharp pain in my side as Angel’s hoof digs into my flesh, drawing a gasp from me. "You can't fight this, flower," she growls, her voice a low rumble. "You can't fight what's inside you. You can't fight me." I grit my teeth, trying to hold back a scream. The pain is intense, but it's not the worst part.

I can feel the warmth of my own blood trickling down my side, the metallic scent filling the air. I'm panting now, my body on the edge of panic. I try to move away from Angel's touch, but she's too fast, too strong. Her other hoof grabs my shoulder, pinning me in place. "Look at me, little one," she demands, her voice like thunder.

I force my eyes open, meeting Angel of Darkness's burning gaze. Her eyes are no longer just dark, but swirling with a vortex of shadows and light, drawing me in. "The only way to get rid of the pain, to get rid of me, is suicide. Suicide is the only answer..."

I feel my heart race even faster, my breath coming in short gasps. "No," I manage to choke out, despite the pain radiating from my side. "I won't do it. I won't give in."

Angel smiles, but it's a cruel, twisted smile. "You think you have a choice?" she asks, her voice a low hiss. She leans in closer, her breath hot on my face.

I stare into the swirling abyss of Angel’s eyes, my heart pounding so hard I think it might burst from my chest. The pain in my side is excruciating, but it's nothing compared to the sheer terror coursing through my veins. I can't look away from those hypnotic eyes, can't break the connection that seems to hold me in place.

"No," I whisper again, my voice barely audible over the roaring in my ears.

Angel laughs, a harsh and grating sound that echoes through the void. "You think you have the strength to resist me, flower?" she sneers. "You're wrong. You're weak. You're pathetic. And you will give in." Her hoof tightens on my shoulder, the pressure almost unbearable. I can feel the bones grinding together, the pain radiating outwards.

But the pain is secondary now. My focus is locked on those swirling eyes, that abyssal darkness pulling me in, threatening to consume me entirely.

"No," I manage to force out, despite the pressure building in my head and the agony in my body. "I... I won't..." The words come out strained, barely a whisper. "I won't..."

Angel’s face inches closer, her malice becoming almost physical. "Yes, you will."

I stare into the abyss of Angel's swirling eyes, my heart hammering wildly against my ribs. The pain radiating from my wounded side is blinding, but it's the sheer, crushing weight of despair emanating from the demon that threatens to break me entirely.

"No," I croak, barely able to force the word past my clenched teeth. My body trembles violently, every muscle locked in place by the force of my resistance. "I won't..."

The words die on my lips as Angel’s hoof digs deeper into my shoulder, her grip tightening to a point of absolute agony. Her other hoof traces a searing path along my back, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

"You will give in," she hisses, her words a promise and a threat. "It's only a matter of time."

I grit my teeth, a whimper of pain escaping me as I shake my head violently. "N-no." I can't hold back any longer.

A scream rips from my throat, a raw, primal sound that echoes through the void. My body convulses, every muscle tensing as I struggle against Angel‘s hold. I can't break free, but I can't give in either. Not yet. Not ever. Angel sneers, her grip tightening even further.

"Your resistance is admirable, little one," she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "But it won't last." Her hoof on my shoulder moves, the pressure shifting to a new, more excruciating angle. I can feel the bone starting to crack under the immense pressure.

"Your body is failing you. Your mind is fracturing. You can't maintain this for long." I try to shake my head again, but the pain is too intense.

I can only manage a strangled gasp. My vision blurs, dark spots dancing at the edges as I struggle to stay conscious. The void around us seems to pulse and writhe, the shadows twisting and writhing like living things. Angel’s presence grows stronger, more oppressive, as if she's feeding on my pain and fear.

"Your time is running out, little flower," she hisses, her words echoing in my mind.

The void around me grows darker, more oppressive. My body is pushed to its limit, the agony in my side and shoulder reaching a fever pitch. Angel’s eyes swirl with an inky darkness, pulling me deeper into the abyss of despair.

I try to speak again, to refuse her, but no sound emerges from my clenched teeth. The pressure on my shoulder increases, and I feel a sharp, sickening pop as the bone finally gives way. Pain explodes through my shoulder, a blinding, agonizing wave that threatens to drown me.

I scream, a raw, helpless sound that echoes through the void. My vision swims, the darkness closing in as I teeter on the edge of unconsciousness. Angel looms over me, her eyes like twin suns of malevolence, burning into my soul. "There."

Her voice is cold and merciless. "That's it. Give in. Let the darkness take you."

I can feel the oppressive weight of her presence bearing down on me, the void around us growing darker and more suffocating. My body shakes violently, every muscle tensed against the agony and despair. The pain in my side and shoulder is overwhelming, threatening to consume me entirely.

I'm on the brink, teetering on the edge of oblivion. Angel’s words echo in my mind, their malice a physical force pushing me deeper into the abyss. "Let the darkness take you," she whispers, her voice a sinister lullaby.

I can feel it, the cold, suffocating darkness, beckoning me to surrender.

I stare into the swirling abyss of Angel’s eyes, my heart pounding so hard I think it might burst from my chest. The pain in my side is excruciating, but it's nothing compared to the sheer terror coursing through my veins.

I can't look away from those hypnotic eyes, can't break the connection that seems to hold me in place. "No," I whisper again, my voice barely audible over the roaring in my ears. "No," I repeat, the words weak but determined.

The pressure on my shoulder intensifies, and I cry out as I feel another sharp pop, signaling further damage. Angel’s face is mere inches from mine, her eyes swirling with an endless void. Her breath is cold and heavy against my skin.

"You are mine now," she hisses, her grip tightening once more. "There's no escape."

The void around me pulses and writhes, the shadows growing more defined as Angel’s presence intensifies. Her grip on my shoulder is unrelenting, the broken bone grinding against itself as she applies more pressure.

I can feel the darkness closing in, the oppressive weight of her presence threatening to crush me entirely. My body trembles uncontrollably, every muscle locked in a futile attempt to resist. I feel my eyes grow heavy as the darkness starts to claim me.

My vision swims, the edges blurring as the blackness encroaches. I fight it, desperation clawing at my insides, but my body is betraying me. My heartbeat slows, each thud echoing in my ears like a funeral march. The void around me seems to absorb the sound, swallowing it whole. Angel’s watches, her eyes never leaving mine.

I struggle to keep my eyes open, my body screaming for release from the pain. My breaths come in short, ragged gasps, each one a struggle. The darkness swallows me, inch by inch, despite my attempts to resist. My vision tunnels, the world narrowing down to just Angel’s and the void around us. Her eyes are all I can see, their swirling darkness hypnotic and all-consuming.

Then, everything goes dark…

I wake up, my pillow wet from my tears and my body wracked with pain. I can barely move, my muscles protesting with every twitch. The void is gone, replaced by the walls of my bedroom. I'm lying in a bed. I try to sit up, but a wave of dizziness crashes over me, forcing me to lie back down.

The sun is streaming through my bedroom window, casting a bright square on my quilt. I rub my head, trying to process what had just happened. I'm disoriented, my mind still reeling from the vivid memory. Angel, my internal demon, had almost consumed me in that nightmare. I look around my room, the familiar surroundings helping to ground me. The dream had felt so real, the pain and fear so intense. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself.

I waited a few minutes for the pain to subside. Once it did, I slowly sit up, pushing the covers aside. I look down at my hooves, raw and red from the self-harm from the night before. I flinch at the sight, but I feel a strange calm wash over me. I slowly stand up, my body protesting the sudden movement, and make my way to the bathroom. I turn on the shower, letting the water heat up as I stare at myself in the mirror.

I step into the shower, the hot water stinging my raw hooves. I wince at the pain but welcome it, almost craving the sensation. As I stand there, letting the water wash over me, I feel a strange sense of clarity wash over me as well. The word "suicide" from my vision echoes in my mind, and I find myself fixating on it. I step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself.

I look at my reflection in the steamy bathroom mirror. I stare into my own eyes, searching for an answer, a sign, anything that can tell me what to do. But all I see is a face I hardly recognize anymore.

The eyes that stare back at me are filled with a mixture of pain, desperation, and a strange sort of numbness. I know I need to do something, to change, to find a way out of this darkness I find myself drowning in.

Suicide is the only answer. My mind echos Angel's words.

I turn away from the mirror, my resolve hardening. I know what I need to do. I need to isolate myself, to cut myself off from the world and from those who care about me. I don't want them to see me like this, to see the darkness that has taken hold of me. I don't want them to try and save me, because I'm not sure I want to be saved.

I walk out of the bathroom, my mind made up. I head to my bedroom, walking toward my desk, and grabbed a piece of paper.

I sit down at my desk, the towel still wrapped around me, and pick up a pen. I write a letter, my hoof shaking slightly with each word. Once I had finished writing it, tears were streaming down my face.

I fold the letter carefully, addressing it to my friends. I place it on my nightstand to remind me to sent it before I go to bed tonight.

The thought of them reading it, of the pain it will cause them, fills me with guilt. But I can't bring myself to care anymore. I stand up, my body still aching from the self-harm of the night before.

I walk to my closet and pull out a simple black sweater. I dress quickly, wincing at the pain the fabric causes on my still-raw skin. Once dressed, I look at myself in the full-length mirror. I hardly recognize the pony looking back at me. My once-vibrant magenta and light blue mane now looks dull and lifeless, hanging limply around my face. My dark orange coat, usually so warm and inviting, now appears dull and ashen.

My once bright, hopeful eyes are now sunken and lifeless. I look like a completely different pony from the one I used to be. The person staring back at me in the mirror is someone I no longer recognize. Someone I no longer want to be. I leave my room, the sound of my hooves echoing through the empty apartment. I go to the living room and look out the window at the world outside.

I stand motionless at my window, the cold glass a stark contrast against my skin, as I gaze out at the world beyond my house. The once vibrant snow, now marred by carraige tracks and muddy hoofprints, stretches out before me in a bleak expanse. The laughter and shrieks of the foals as they tumble and play seems to mock me, a cruel reminder of the simple joys I can no longer find.

My mind drifts back to the night before, to the desperate scratching, the tears, the feeling of complete and utter hopelessness that had consumed me. I clench my jaw, trying to push those thoughts away, but they persist, a relentless buzzing in the back of my mind. I look down at my hooves, now covered by the sweater sleeves, but I can still feel the sting, the pain that seems to seep into every fiber of my being.

I hear a knock on my door. I walked over to answer it, finding my friend Ellie.

"Hey, Script! You ready for brunch?"

"Yeah, I was just about to leave," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Are you sure you're okay, Script?" she asks, her eyes scanning me from head to hoof.

I force a smile, "Yeah, just need a little more time to get ready. Go on ahead, I'll catch up."

She hesitates, then nods, "Alright, we'll wait for you at Sugarcube Corner. Don't take too long."

I close the door behind her, my heart heavy with the weight of my decision. I know I should feel guilty, lying to Ellie like that, but I can't bring myself to care. I need to be alone, to isolate myself from the world and from the friends who only want to help.

I turn away from the door, my hooves clicking against the hardwood floor as I walk back to my bedroom. I sit on the edge of my bed, staring at the letter on my nightstand. The words seem to blur together, and I have to blink several times to focus.

My hooves tremble slightly as I pick up the letter, the paper feeling impossibly light in my grasp. I unfold it, reading the words I had written earlier. The letter is simple, direct, and devoid of any explanation. It will hopefully explain everything, and bring some form of comfort to my friends.

I fold the letter back up, placing it carefully in my pocket. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to do. I walk out of my house, locking the door behind me. I make my way down the steps, my hooves heavy with each step. I step out into the cold, biting wind, the snow crunching beneath my hooves.

I pause, looking at the bustling streets of Ponyville. Everypony seems so happy, so carefree. But to me, they just look like they're living a lie, a charade. I begin walking, not towards Sugarcube Corner where my friends are waiting, but in the opposite direction toward's Lily's house.

I walk through the quiet streets of Ponyville, my hooves sinking into the soft snow with each step. The cold wind whips at my face, but I barely feel it, my mind too consumed by the weight of my decision. I keep my head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anypony I pass. I don't want to have to pretend to be okay, to force a smile and a cheerful greeting.

I arrive at Lily's house, the familiar blue walls and white trim now seeming so foreign. I stand at the door, placed the letter on her doorstep, then walked away back toward my house.

Author's Note

Gonna polish up the story as things go on, I also plan to rewrite the story that takes place after this. (I Don't Want To Be Saved) It's kinda old and it bugs me now. Stay tuned for that!