//-------------------------------------------------------// Sincerely, Me -by Qibli2- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// 5 //-------------------------------------------------------// 5 i just read that Twilight Sparkle book!! The Friendship Jounral! It’s so coooool! i din’t know somepony could write to Celestia herself!! The most powererful pony ever, and I wanna be able to write to Celestia too! i can’t though :( so teacher said i could write to myself! hiii me from the future I’m ~~~~~~~~~~~! I just turned 5 yesterday! i have a lotta friends and I wanna introduce you to them! I have my ~~bestest~~ friend Morning Dew, my parents, and my teacher! I have a sister too but she’s angry all the time >:(. We do like playing dolls together though! i’m sure you’ll have alot more friends in 5 years! You’re so cool that it’ll be easy I'm sure! At least keep the ones you have because there such good friends and i will be angry if you don’t. the nurses also said i had something called A-Dee-H-Dee? I donno what that means but it sounds cool so i hope you make the most of whatever that means i think that’s about it! Twilight Sparkle is the bestest and she’s awesome and my teacher is awesome for having me do this! Every element is so cool I wanna be just like them when i grow up! Fighting evil and saving the world! Sooooooo cool! Please be that cool! Love, ~~~~~~~~~~~ //-------------------------------------------------------// 10 //-------------------------------------------------------// 10 Twilight Sparkle huh. I didn’t know I wrote this ~~~~~~~~~~~. Ms. Short came around and gave me a letter and this was in it! I like all that stuff you wrote but liking Twilight Sparkle is a little cringe. She’s the ruler of Equestria and she’s a mare. Colts shouldn’t like mares! I will say you really should give Belladonna a chance though. She’s more than just angry all the time! But once again, dolls are for fillies! They have cooties! You’re a colt! The real thing you should like a lot is music! Not that DJ Pon-3 because she’s a mare, but all that other stuff that followed in her footsteps, by all those super cool DJs, that’s the good stuff! There’s one song I like, it’s about moving forward and it has such a cool drop I wish it was out then, then you could hear it! It’s called like Wake Me Up or something? Forget Twilight Sparkle! Running a country and fighting off evil is boring, besides other ponies do that. I wanna be a big name DJ! I wanna be remembered! My, not bestest silly ~~~~~~~~~~~, but best, friend Morning Dew seems interested. He was working on some sort of project that I could maybe make music for? I’m gonna blow them away! I’m also gonna own with my 8th grade project. Gotta do something that represents me, and I’m totally gonna do a song for it. For future ~~~~~~~~~~~, you better keep making music, I think you might’ve finally found something you really want to do. You’re good at many things, hey I think that’s what “AD/HD” means, but music is your true passion! Love, ~~~~~~~~~~~ //-------------------------------------------------------// 15 //-------------------------------------------------------// 15 Oh, young me, if only you knew. I can’t believe I even used to be like this. What a brat I was. I got this letter after leaving eighth grade, which by the way you made an absolutely terrible musical project. I don’t know what told me to wait for the full 5 years, but here I am. I’m in high school now, it’s much of the same but harder. Don’t worry, Morning Dew is at least still your friend, I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that. To think I hated mares so much I got a stallionfriend. Ha… I guess some things never change huh? Now I’m more concerned about your reverence for popular electronic music, the older, harder stuff is so much better. But you know, a lot can change in 5 years. I suppose I’m living proof. After all… I mean I’m a mare now. I’m sure you hated that, little Rose. You hated a lot, which is why I’m busy scratching a few things out. Maybe it’s erasing the past, but I feel it’s more like renouncing who I used to be in a way. Also, you now have a special somepony, one I met shortly after my 12th birthday. It only became official earlier this year, I love him a lot. I hope you’ll forgive me for picking up a trans stallion. I suppose I should explain why I joined the dark side. Really I just saw enough stallions in dresses that I wanted to be like them, and then I realized I wanted to be a mare in a dress instead. Morning Dew was a little tenacious about the whole thing, but I’m lucky to still have him as a friend. I mean, I don’t have too many, I’ll take what I can get. You will be pleased to know I haven’t given up music though. In fact, not only have I not given up music, but I’m also in a band. I’m the drummer, and we’ve done a show or two. In fact, your parents will think you’re a natural at the instrument. It’s something I’m super good at, and I can’t wait to get better and better. I don’t think I ever want to not be in a band again. Plus it’ll help me be remembered, by more people than just my family. It’s not like I want kids. I produce my own stuff too, and it’s lightyears better than what you used to make. Read up on enough music theory and it turns out you absorb it. Hyperfixations help. Speaking of which, turns out AD/HD has nothing to do with being smart. I’m hyperactive and only have selective memorization. I’ve gotten used to it. I suppose here comes the point where I tell myself what I want to do in 5 years. Well, I don’t really know. Maybe have an album out, continue performing with my band, go to college, I don’t really know. I’m sure I’ll figure it out, I’ve got 5 years to do so. I just want to make music and attend school. Sincerely, Rose //-------------------------------------------------------// 20 //-------------------------------------------------------// 20 What do I do with you, Rose… You know, your dad used to be in a band. You didn’t know that at the time— he was a drummer in a garage band. I asked him why he stopped and the answer was simple: life got in the way. I thought this was ridiculous. After all, if you really love something; why wouldn’t you live and breathe it until your dying day? Call it naïvete, call it idealism, but I didn’t know what life was at the time. Now I do, and I get it. You compiled a collection of your songs into an album— one which you did no promo for. You have only composed a small handful of songs since. It’s mostly Trance music— not like those big name DJs, but contemplative music from before you were born. Most of the time I’m just working, so I can’t work on it anyways. Working, yeah, a necessary evil in this world of ours. What was “to pay for college” is now “to pay for a house”. What was college is now dodgy guides from the local library. At least Twilight’s put up plenty of those. What you’ve accomplished are mostly small steps. Equipment, time in a studio, a gig for 50 ponies that your singer managed to weasel his way into through local name recognition. It’s nothing big or life changing— but I feel like I’ve still changed even more. Hero worship and wanting to be remembered is a bit silly no? It’s a lofty goal to aspire to, but one that gets further from me every day. I used to think that the moment I finally ‘made it’ would be getting a letter with the words, “You inspired me”; be it in art, as a pony, or in general. But I’ve been at it for 6 years, and I’ve found fans sure, but “you inspired me” is a pipe dream— a scrap off the table I fed to the dogs. You still have your stallionfriend, but discussion has changed to moving in together sooner rather than later. That young love is simply dissolved. You’re more like two chaotic friends than lovey-dovey sweethearts. The friends you have are now passing, old schoolmates you find in the streets sometimes— ones you have to laugh with awkwardly as you announce you aren’t in college, or that you’re a mare, or that music hasn’t really panned out at all. Or maybe they’re coworkers you don’t ever plan on seeing; you just deal with them at work and go home to your studio to make 8 bars. The single closest friend you had, Morning Dew, has now fallen out with you— a disagreement about identity that was always boiling under the surface. It took 5 years for me to finally notice that he never saw me like I did. It’s going to hurt, but that’s what that old song from all those years ago is there for. I gotta keep pushing forward. Contrary to what it may sound like; I don’t actually hate living. I love living. I think doing new things is one of Celestia’s greatest gifts to the world. In fact, if anything, I’m more sad that all the goals I set for myself just haven’t been done. I’m happy, but unsatisfied. Fine, but incomplete. Some of my creativity feels like it has died and I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back. I’m just living, but I want to live. But hey, I’m happy with just living. I just imagine what had to happen for me to get as good a life as I have. I have treatment for dysphoria, a loving relationship and family, a steady job, a myriad of experiences, and I’m only getting bolder by the day. The one thing I don’t have is creativity. Maybe that’s just the Artist’s Paradox. As for me in 5 years. I know by now that I don’t know who you’ll be. I don’t know what pony I’ll become. But hey, maybe you’re in college. Maybe you’ve made another album. Maybe that creativity has festered into something manageable again. Maybe, just maybe, I can go beyond “just living”, to “living”. After all, a lot can change in 5 years. I think I’m proof of that. Sincerely, Rose Author's Note This is a Raining-Verse story but I didn’t want to market it as one.