Equestria 1939 - Weird World War

Equestria 1939 - Weird World War
Spies Like Us

POLISH CAPITAL POUNDED BY GERMAN LAND AND AIR FORCES
— New York Time headline, September 6, 1939

Sherbert Lemon was mad. No, not that way. Angry at least. She had things to do, most of which were distractions from deciding on her volunteered project. Getting trotted down to the main floor of the building for some dog-and-pony show was not on her list.

It was on Prime’s list.

She wanted to get a good lab when she was forced out of the building for rejecting her task.

Some small part of her wanted a tower filled with bats and a pipe organ, but she squelched that urge firmly.

Germany would certainly give her a lab, but the appeal of that theoretical move was dwindling rapidly. Equestria wanted her mind. Germany would want her soul. In order to sway her opinion, Prime had loaned her several of the intelligence papers that had come out of German laboratories, delivered by a solemn Royal Guard with no emotion who stood by her side every moment the folder was open, ensured she did not take notes, and sealed the papers back up in a locked saddlebag before departing.

Mother had a few friends who would have been fascinated by what she had read, provided they could be released from prison or raised from the dead. Sherbert was starting to wonder if she would be able to sleep any more, particularly with the news coming out of Europe.

So she came downstairs out of her lab when requested, waited where she was told, and moved forward into the interview room when it was her turn. At that point, all of the routine she had expected was turned on its head.

An alicorn waited patiently by the table for her, but not Princess Celestia. That left only one option, unless there had been a scientific breakthrough that Sherbert was unaware.

“Ah, Sherbert J. Lemon,” said Princess Cadence with the faint rustle of feathers as she stood up. The pretty pink princess took up a considerable amount of space in the small room, made smaller by the quiet unicorn guard at the door. Cadence had an honest smile, a warm embrace, and a most compassionate expression when she sat Sherbert down on her side of the table. Being ‘Cadenced’ was quite unlike any experience Sherbert had with other royalty, including the brief and distant glimpse of Princess Celestia at the funeral, but it was familiar. It was also much like her mother had behaved when she was about to give Sherbert bad news, which worried her.

“Are you conducting interviews about our projects, Princess?” asked Sherbert while Cadence was settling down on her own cushion.

“Oh, heavens no,” said the young alicorn, holding a wing across her chest. “All these complicated magical and scientific projects are so above me. I just wanted to sit and talk with you for a while before Shiny and I take off on our trip to France for my diplomatic meeting.”

“Complicated,” said Sherbert flatly. “You talked theory with my mother the last time you met.”

“Just vague generalities,” claimed Cadence with a wave of her wing as if she could brush away the accusation of an actual mind behind her fluffy exterior.

“You offered suggestions to my mother. Good suggestions,,” continued Sherbert. “Why play the fool for diplomatic meetings with the humans in the middle of a war?” Her eyes slipped sideways to view the quiet unicorn guard at the door, who was chuckling quietly to himself. “Is he the spy or are you?”

That stopped the guard’s mirth instantly, and he returned to an immobile stance in front of the door.

“Both,” muttered Sherbert. “I suppose the people who can’t work up the nerve to talk with you or who want to keep some level of anonymity corner your coltfriend—”

At that, the guard’s eyes widened and he cast an almost desperate look at Cadence, who had taken it as her turn to giggle. “My word. You are certainly your mother’s daughter. If it were not for your experiment, I’d be tempted to take you along on our trip to Paris, just to see what kind of insights you could dig up out of the old fossils they have trying to talk Germany out of its actions.

The cheerful and smiling alicorn turned serious in the blink of an eye. “They’re going to fail, of course. In a year or two, all of Europe will be in flames, from Britain to Africa.”

“And Russia, and Japan, and the colonists,” said Sherbert.

“Worse.” Princess Cadence lowered her head to look at the table. “I haven’t told anybody except Shining Armor, but Princess Celestia has been… off a bit lately. I really wish I could talk to your mother about it, the way she was before, of course,” added Cadence in a rush.

“Off?” asked Sherbert, a little discouraged at the vague reference.

“She’s concerned. There are dark times ahead that have nothing to do with the growing war. Auntie’s been feeling… incomplete. And not in that way,” said Cadence when Sherbert took a brief glance at Shining Armor. “It’s been getting worse over the last year. Something dark is coming, something that nobody expects and she won’t talk about it. Not one word, and believe me, I’ve tried. That’s why I’ve taken over so much of the diplomacy with the humans. It lifts some small portion of the load she is under and gives her time to prepare.”

“For something,” said Sherbert. “That’s remarkably vague.”

“Intelligence seldom has clear-cut answers, unlike science. Auntie Celestia tells me even generations later, it can be impossible to know if a decision was the right one, or just random chance. Still, helping Germany with its efforts can only lead to more bloodshed, more deaths. They will not stop until they are stopped.” Cadence pushed several books across the table. “Exiles pass through Equestria on their way to the Americas every day. Some of them sell what few possessions they own in order to continue their journey.”

“Like books,” said Sherbert with her head cocked to one side in order to read the titles.

“Like books,” said Cadence. “Celestia makes sure the prices do not fall with the influx, and extends a helping hoof for anyhuman who is left out so they have the money to keep going. Otherwise, Manehattan would be filled to overflowing. Can you imagine having to flee your home for a foreign land with no more than you can carry on your back?”

“Mother made me prepare a torches and pitchforks package,” said Sherbert. “I have two passports, and bank accounts in New York and Berlin.”

Ever so slowly, Princess Cadence closed her eyes. “I keep forgetting that you are your mother’s daughter.”

“I understand what you are saying,” continued Sherbert. “You want to guilt me into empathizing with the refugees that Germany is driving out of their countries, call upon my better nature in order to agree with your dishonest spying, and throw myself into the project without thinking of the ponies and people who would die from my actions. In much more politic words,” she added. “It is unneeded. I have already decided to take on this project, although it is futile.”

“Difficult, not futile,” said Cadence, and added in a rush, “but don’t tell me what the project is.”

That set Sherbert back a few mental paces until she thought about it some more, and the only thought that made sense was one that chilled her to the bone. “What you don’t know, you can’t tell, intentionally or accidentally. You… could be captured? Who would dare take one of Equestria’s princesses captive?”

“People who invade other countries,” said Cadence. “Desperate people. Cruel people. And stupid people. They may think they can twist Equestria’s tail by taking me captive, or killing me. Perhaps torturing me for information. That’s why I’m only taking pegasus guards with me to Paris. Desperate people can do horrible things. We have no way to tell what Germany is planning without… Well, I shouldn’t talk to you about these things.”

Sherbert turned to look at the unicorn guard, then back at Princess Cadence who had just begun to get up from the table. “You’re leaving him behind?”

“Physically.” Cadence smiled, and Sherbert could see just a little bit of her mother reflected in her violet eyes. “I will carry Shining Armor in my heart forever, much like you carry your mother… Well, that’s an inaccurate analogy,” added the princess as the guard looked puzzled. “He has critical training in Canterlot to keep him occupied in my absence. Auntie Celestia must be protected while I am away. And we have a long flight, so I must be going now. Oh, and just one more thing.”

Cadence floated a small metal object out of the book bag on the table and put it in front of Sherbert. “When Auntie Celestia asked your mother for assistance in the Great War, she made these for our sea patrols. Quietly, of course. This is the prototype she gave to Celestia when she was asked. Your mother knew war was going to break out, and she had already made plans. Keep it as a memory. Her actions saved the lives of many Equestrians during that difficult time, and I hope you can help in a similar way.”

And with that, Princess Cadence and her quiet guard were gone, leaving Sherbert alone in the room with her thoughts.

“Stay out,” called Sherbert when somepony started knocking on her lab door.

“Are you doing an experiment or are you just being crabby?” asked Mixed State from the other side.

Rather than verbally spar with her half-brother, Sherbert put a bookmark into several of her research books and went to open the door, which she had secured with the deadbolt for a change. Unfortunately, Mix was not alone on the other side of the door.

“Before you close the door,” started Mix quickly, “Prime sent him.”

That did squelch Sherbert’s immediate reaction enough that she only had the door part-way closed before she stopped. The human by Mixed State’s side was not threatening or military in any regard, other than being slightly stocky and shorter than average. He had aged enough for his short mane to go entirely to white in just a fringe that went around the back of his head and left nothing on the top, which still looked bizarre to Sherbert’s Equestrian instincts despite how common it was among human males. And his face was completely bald except for bushy eyebrows and a small tuft of hair on his neck which had missed the razor this morning.

He was wearing a suit, which Sherbert expected. Practically every human who visited was dressed up, and they all were dressed. This suit had seen quite a few years of wear with patches on the elbows, the distinctive scent of tobacco, and several fountain pens in the pockets instead of a folded kerchief. Upon consideration, he could have been a professor of some sort, and Prime had sent him, so he most likely was not entirely useless, therefore she held the door open until her two guests had stepped inside, and closed it after them.

“Fräulein Doktor Lemon, I presume,” the man began in precise German. “I’ve seen you several times in the cafeteria, but have not had the pleasure of meeting you in person. We hate to impose, but time is limited. I am Herman Guttman, formerly a chemical engineer for Bromberg DAG but now a research fellow at your fine institute. Prime has assigned me the task of coordinating the various entities involved in the… new priorities we have been given.”

“You’re the spy mastermind,” said Sherbert flatly.

Mister Guttman spread his thick-fingered hands, which Sherbert noted had their fair share of calluses and healed scars detailing a more than theoretical knowledge of his craft. “No spying. We merely supply the tools for intelligence agencies, and until I began work in Equestria, I had no idea what ingenious tools had been developed by your people. I read of your mother’s work in the field of theoretical chemical bonding in Retorts and Reactions, and I’ll admit the implications of her theories could be ground-breaking if ever put into practice. I would have loved to meet her again while she was alive, but I understand she passed some years ago in a laboratory accident before I arrived in your fair country.”

Sherbert merely remained looking at the human before repeating one phrase. “Meet her again?”

“We met in… Excuse me, but German does not translate well.” He cleared his throat and continued in crisp Equestrian, “At the University of Lower Manehattan in Calcination and Conjunction class. That’s where I was interred during the war. They put us through so many classes we did not have time to think about escape. I still find myself writing chemical equations in Equestrian notation on occasion.”

“Ah,” said Mix. “You were stationed on board the U-33. I read about it in history class.”

“Wireless operator, although for a very brief period. I was young and foolish. Oh, a clacker,” he added with a glance at Sherbert’s overloaded lab table. “That brings back memories.”

“This?” Sherbert lifted the strange device that Princess Cadence had given her, turning it over in her magic until the stocky human took it gingerly out of her magical grasp.

“Disarmed, at least,” said Guttman as he examined the bottom of the device. “Last I saw one of these was in 1915 on the upper ballast tank of our submarine.”

“And,” prompted Mix. “That wasn’t in our history lessons.”

Guttman hesitated, then settled down on one of the uncomfortable lab chairs, still holding the device. “We were supposed to mine the Manehattan harbor since a number of American ships had made port there after being damaged by torpedoes, and somebody up in the high command thought it would be a good idea to antagonize a quiet neutral. During daylight hours, we snuck in close by battery, but right before it got dark, something started pecking on the hull like a woodpecker. Speed dependent, faster when we sped up, slower when we slowed. So the captain checked all around by periscope and surfaced to see what was the matter.” The human spun a small propeller on the device and grunted in thought. “Didn’t see the zeppelin hovering overhead until it was too late. Tiny little thing. Held about three pegasi and one bomb.”

“I would think the captain of the German submarine would have fought,” said Sherbert.

“He was in shock. All of us were. And—” Guttman kept spinning the little propeller on the widget until it gave out a sharp click and a sharp pointed needle poked out where a blasting cap could have been fastened. “If he had submerged, water flow would have finished winding the devices and set the magnetic mines off, punching holes in the upper ballast tank. We couldn’t rush the hatch to attack the pegasi, and even if we had, there was a hundred-kilo bomb right above us. So we followed meekly along until we docked in the Manehattan harbor we were supposed to mine and the crew was taken away. A week later, we heard the entire submarine was taken apart and stored somewhere.”

“That still doesn’t explain how you met my mother in prison,” said Sherbert flatly.

That seemed to be humorous to the human, although he did not laugh for very long. “Prison,” he scoffed. “There were no facilities for human prisoners. None in the entire country. No, they put us into school. Manehattan Institute for Advanced Knowledge. Worked us like horses. By 1918 when hostilities were over, I had learned your fine language, gotten my degree in chemistry and electronic design, and determined that some classes in school were not suitable for people without the ability to use magic. Most of the crew left with degrees also. The captain taught several classes in military history, I believe. Cheered for the Manehattan Shokkars hoofball team. One of the crew dated a local, but nothing came of that. Your mother had some serious opinions about such relationships. We talked during study periods for CnC 105i⁽*⁾. She was an excellent instructor and kept me from blowing up at least twice, although my crew were transferred back to Germany right before final exams. Negatively affected my final grade, but—” he shrugged “—that’s the way armistice works.”
(*) The Inadvisable series of classes, held next to the Surgical Collegium for good reason.
—

It did not seem like a good time to tell the human that the magnetic mine he was toying with had been the product of her mother’s school project.

“I read all of her articles in various journals, but I spent the last three days reading up on her recent work that never made it to print, and for good reason.” Mister Guttman shook his head. “Skimming, mostly. Without unicorn magic, humans could never even begin to try her experiments. And your work…”

When no more words became apparent, Sherbert continued for him. “My work has little bearing on encryption.” She did not add anything about her opinion on why exactly Prime was allowing a human access to such secrets, and the advisability thereof.

It did bring up a rather uncomfortable point.

“Prime gave you material on all of my mother’s research and my own?” she asked.

“Yes,” he huffed while getting up and scrounging around the glassware collection for a clean beaker. “No questions, no blood-curdling threats. Just folders. Although he said there was one aspect of your research that it was best I learn about directly. Something called ACACD.”

She should have expected it. Sherbert had not put anything down in writing about her mother’s last wishes or the science experiment which had brought it to fruition, at least in part. Rather than dance around the point until they were both exhausted and still not making any progress on her task, Sherbert nodded her head toward the collection of steel pipes and wiring of ACACD.

“Herr Guttmann, this is the Analog Circuitry Automated Calculating Device, or Acked as Mixed State likes to call her. I think it is improper, since it contains my mother. Mother, please say hello to Herr Guttman.”

The teletype whirred to life and hammered out a short message, leaving the puzzled German scientist to walk over and read it, still holding his beaker of water.

Or at least until he lost his grip and the beaker plummeted to the floor, leaving Sherbert to catch it in her magic before it shattered.

HELLO HERMAN HAVE YOU COMPLETED YOUR EXTRA CREDIT PROJECT FOR GRADUATION YET STOP