Helluva Moon

by David Silver

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Violence, Crossover, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Princess Luna
Length: 27365

A simple mission. He had to put a bullet in some horse's head. That was it. In, out, and gone. Blitzo loaded his gun with a sneer. "Easy money is the best kind. C'mon." He had no idea that things would get in the way.

A simple mission. He had to put a bullet in some horse's head. That was it. In, out, and gone. Blitzo loaded his gun with a sneer. "Easy money is the best kind. C'mon." He had no idea that things would get in the way.

Rated Mature because Helluva Boss. If you know it, you know things can get out of hand real fast.

Published 2024-09-12 19:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2025-02-11 17:14:51 UTC

8 - Sun Gazing

Loona watched her father jogging at Celestia's side, the two chatting idly between themselves. The Princess of the Sun seemed quite happy to have the company of the imp, who was doing all he could to impress her. It was, perhaps, a bit thick.

"So, you got any enemies? I could take care of that for you." He pantomimed taking aim with a sharp wrench of the imagined blast of the equally imagined gun.

Celestia smiled down at him with a warm, if distant, gaze. "I am sure you could, Lord Blitz. However, I am not in need of such assistance." She walked along with her usual poise. "Today you are assisting by being a guard, as your daughter has been selected to do."

Loona glanced up when she heard herself mentioned. "Yeah, and I don't think anyone is going to be trying to kill you, princess."

Celestia raised a hoof to her chest, walking along on the other three legs. "I would hope not. But, if I had taken my usuals, they would have guarded my zealously from every threat they imagined. It leaves little room for me to enjoy Canterlot."

Blitzo hopped over a crack in the ground, then looked around, his eyes wide with awe. "This place is so clean! You sure this isn't where the fancy-shmancy ponies live?"

Celestia lowered her hoof, resuming her steps on it. "Good eye. This is, indeed, where many 'fancy-schmancy' ponies reside. There are also many who do not fall under that title. Canterlot is a bustling city with many kinds of ponies within it."

Loona glanced at her father, then towards Celestia. "Why are we here, again? I can't help but feel like we stand out a little more than is good for us."

Blitzo spun around and struck a pose, flexing his arms to show off his biceps. "She just said. She wanted a laid-back guard that'd let her enjoy her walk around, but could still help if things got real. The real question is why you are here. She only asked me." He hiked a thumb at himself, then pointed at Loona. "You already have moon butt, leave sunrise to me."

Loona rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure that's going to end well. Look, my day off isn't until tonight, so stop being a baby about this. I was at Luna's side first." She leaned in, putting a hand on his back to do so. "I don't want to see you messing this up for both of us."

Blitzo laughed aloud and threw his hands up. "Fine, fine. You can stay here. It's not like there's any kind of danger in Canterlot, right?" He gestured towards the princess.

Celestia only seemed quietly entertained as she turned towards a storefront and vanished inside. As she did, a commotion took place over their heads. A moment later, a unicorn pony landed hard enough to shake the street they stood on. She looked up with a sneer on her muzzle. A pegasus landed just a foot away, both glaring at Loona and Blitzo with equal malice. "We won't let you corrupt Celestia," started the pegasus, drawing a spear from nowhere in particular in their wing.

The unicorn chuckled aloud as her horn flared, magic wreathing her body. "Yeah, we'll be sure to protect her from you!" And then the second guard was airborne, launching herself right at Loona. Loona caught them and threw their momentum to the side as she bounced back in the other direction.

Blitzo rolled his eyes and raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Woah, woah, woah! I don't know why you think I'm corrupting anypony, but I think you have the wrong imp. I'm a classy son of a bitch. Celly's in good, hey!" He aborted his comment to duck under a sharp spear point.

Celestia stepped back out, her bag now filled with whatever purchase she had made. She blinked at the sight. An imp and hellhound were fighting ponies in the street? Her gaze narrowed slightly on the scene. But she didn't shout. She just gave a soft clearing of her throat. Both ponies stopped dead as if they had been shouted at. Both got into formation, saluting sharply at Celestia. Loona and Blitzo stopped, waiting to see what would happen next.

"Princess," said one of the ponies. They were dressed in dark purple uniforms, which bore the crescent moon symbol. "We were testing them."

The other nodded rapidly. "To see if they could be trusted if something actually happened!"

Celestia's lips thinned to a grim line, her voice growing icy. "I see. And did they pass? You will tell me that they did pass."

Blitzo glanced at the princess sideways, noting the tone in her voice. "You two are in trouble," he sang out with a snicker.

Celestia snorted softly. "Don't say it like that. You two, back to the castle, now." She glared at both. "I'll speak to you both once we get there." She turned and started to walk.

Loona rolled her eyes and went after her. "Hey, sorry about that." She paused to glance back, seeing her father hanging behind. "C'mon, Blitz."

He sighed and went after her. "Sure thing."

Celestia was quiet for a long moment before she allowed herself to relax faintly. "You two are strange and new creatures. My ponies, I love them, but they are, hm." She paused for the word. "Xenophobic."

Blitzo caught up on her other side. "Racist as shit, you mean?"

Celestia sighed into a smile. "I could have said it that way. Yes. Ponies can be distrustful of those who aren't ponies, especially if they don't know much about them. There are even a few races I know only in legend." She glanced off towards the horizon. "The world is a big place."

Loona considered, one ear to the side. "Yeah, that matches what I've seen so far. They don't know what a hellhound is, so they're pretty sure I have to be up to no good." She threw a hand out in annoyance. "Like I'd hurt one of you ponies for shits and giggles."

Celestia looked Loona's way with a soft smile. "You are different. I'm glad to see you accept that challenge with determination." She spread her wings, bringing them down on either of her hell-born guards. "And this is another reason I decided I'd have your company today. You are both less impulsive, at least in that way." She lifted her wings from their backs, resuming her walk. "I do apologize for their actions. That was inappropriate, even if it was a test." She nodded slowly, then her horn flared with magic as she cast a quick glance to either side.

A little smile broke her features as she floated her shopping bags into view. "At least I secured this before they showed up." She produced a second pair of bags, one she let fall into Loona's hands. "This is for you. Do tell me if I have judged your taste poorly."

Loona blinked at the bag, tugging out the contents inside. Her eyes went wide as she took in the dark clothing and silver chains hanging from it. "That looks badass! Thanks." She looked back for her father.

He was busy reaching into a bag of his own. He tugged out an outfit not unlike the one he already wore, though a bit more crisp in style. He turned his gaze up to Celestia and beamed. "Thanks, Celly-cakes!" He gave her a swat right on her rump. "You're the best."

Celestia paused, looking unsure how to react a moment before she let that go with a breath. "You are not my usual guard, this is for certain." She shook her head and continued towards the castle. "Come, it's nearly lunch. You may as well spend it with me in the castle before you continue on your day."

Loona nodded along as she stuffed the clothes back into their bag. "Close enough to Luna's colors, I could wear that when I'm watching her."

Blitzo chuckled at that. "Oh yeah, I heard about that. You got yourself all nice and friendly with the night princess, didn't ya?"

Loona glared at him quietly.

"What? Don't be embarrassed about it. We already know that you like her. Why else would you keep going into her room for hours on end?" He grinned smugly at his daughter. "That's just the way you are."

Celestia gave a soft ahem. "Do not tease your daughter so." She nodded to the guards in front of the castle. "Let's get lunch. Loona, you are not my guard, you are free to leave, but I do invite you to enjoy the food with us first."

Loona considered. "I'll stick around long enough for that, then head back out. I was thinking of hanging out with some of my new friends before going back to Luna." She followed the pair inside, towards the dining area.

After the meal, which the ponies made quite well, if entirely absent of anything 'extra' to give it a kick, Loona left Celestia and her dad with a wave. She did a quick stop at her room to put her bag away and change clothes before she was back out onto the streets of Canterlot.

A quick trot down the street and into an alley brought her to where she had met Pinkie the first time.

"Loona!" The pink pony bounced towards her in a pronking gait. "I've heard so much about you!"

Loona slid to a stop. "You have? Good things?"

"So much!" Pinkie Pie went right to Loona's side. "I know that you're adopted, that you and your dad are close, but not always getting along, that you're from another world entirely, that you have no friends except us ponies, and that you used to be a jerk, but you're nicer now."

Loona blinked. "Wow. Yeah. That's...a lot. So, uh, what's up?" She looked Pinkie over, unsure what to make of that chatty earth pony.

Pinkie reared up onto her hinds and pointed at herself. "Well! I couldn't let such a creature go without a proper welcome. Since the ponies of Canterlot have let us both down, it falls on me to pick up that slack! You're getting the Pinkie welcome!" She bounced in a giddy circle. "And we're starting now!"

Loona chuckled softly and went after her. "Okay? Sure, why not?" Her eyes bounced, following Pinkie's constant motion. "Are you on ecstasy or something?"

"Ecsta-what?" Pinkie inclined her head. "I'm just happy to make a new friend and plan a party for them. Now, the important questions! What's your favorite color, favorite drink, and favorite flavor of cake?" She tapped her hooves together with each of those. "Oh! What kind of games do you like?"

Loona lifted a hand to slow the barrage of questions. "Uh, red? Beer is fine. Cake is okay with raspberry filling, I guess." She swayed left and right, rocking on her hips. "Games? Not even sure you ponies have heard of most of what I'd play."

"We haven't heard of them?!" Pinkie bounced in place. "Oooh! Tell me more! I want to learn new games, and I'll make a hellish version of them for you!"

Loona looked ready to reply when she came up short. "Wait, Hellish? You actually know what Hell is?"

Pinkie nodded rapidly several times. "I do! Of course I do! That's your name right? Loona Hell-borne. You said it yourself when you told me your name."

Loona rolled her eyes. "I never told you my name. You just already knew it." She grabbed Pinkie's shoulders the next time she bounced up. "Where are you getting your intel?"

"From everywhere!" Pinkie bounced again, slipping out of that grasp. "So, come on! Tell me your favorite games!"

Loona frowned quietly to herself, considering that. "Well, I have been wanting to see how good you guys are at cards." She made a shuffling motion with her hands. "I could stand to play a good hand of poker right about now."

"Poker?" Pinkie rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I've heard of that, but I never learned it." She beamed. "You can teach us all at the party!"

Loona frowned. "But then you won't know what you're doing."

"But we'll learn, together. I'll be sure to bring some playing cards." He mane, somehow, made a note on a pad that same mane was holding up. "Okay! I'll get this party together and it'll be so much fun! Oh, you want Luna there, or you really don't want her there? Inviting your boss could be either or, I guess."

Loona rolled her eyes. "She can be invited, I guess." She shrugged. "Not like she's a stick-in-the-mud, really."

"Got it!" Pinkie laughed with building excitement. "I'm gonna get on this. You keep being ready! The party will come when it's ready." And then she was off, bounding down the streets of Canterlot like some sort of drunken rabbit.

Loona chuckled and shook her head. "That mare is wild." She watched with half-lidded eyes. "I could have worse friends."

Author's Note

Gaze at the sun, er, carefully?

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1 - When the Moon Hits Your Eye

Blitzo stepped through the diamond like portal between worlds, Loona held by the hand through it. "Easy peasy. All we have to do is put a bullet into her head. First step, find her."

Loona tapped at Blitzo's shoulder.

"What? I'm looking around!" He craned over the balcony's edge, peering down into the city below. "Where in hell are we?"

She kept tapping until he looked up. She pointed past him towards a large equine figure. "Is that who you're looking for?"

He started. "Oh, uh." He quickly got out a folder of papers and found a picture. "Y-yeah! Luna!" Loona looked at him. "Luna. L-U-N-A, totally different."

She rolled her eyes.

Blitzo chuckled as he got his rifle ready, just to toss it to Loona. "You take the shot."

"Really?"

"Yeah, look. I don't want to shoot her." He didn't feel like going into details why that was. "So you do it. Just one quick shot and it's payday."

Loona got her head around the rifle and lined up the shot. Her hand shook a bit as she took a deep breath, calming herself. The trigger clicked.

But nothing happened. She frowned and tries again, clicking with equally little effect. "Dad, what did you fuck up this time?"

Blitzo gave a dismissive wave. "It's fine, we can use a knife or something." He snatched the rifle away from her. "If you can't use that."

"Not my fault." She rolled her eyes towards the sky, then back at the pony, onwards to the city below. "I don't think we're on earth, Dad."

"What?" He looked back down. "This is Earth, Loonie. What are you talking about?"

She pointed at small figures down below. "I could be wrong, but they look more like those little drawings you have around."

"What drawings?!" He threw her back to have a look himself. Down there, other horses. They were ponies, little ponies. "Oh, shit. They didn't say we'd be coming here! Damn it all. I should have asked where the fuck that thing goes before going through!" He slammed his hand against the railing in frustration.

Loona pulled out her phone and tried to take a picture. "Okay. So what's your backup plan?"

Blitzo looked up at their target. "Look, you just have to—" His words died as she turned around. He ducked just behind a little curving on the rock. "Distract her! Tell her you're beholden by her or something! Quick!"

"What?" Loona cocked a brow, eyes on the big horse that was slowly approaching her. She sighed, lowering her head as she stepped closer.

Blitzo kept the rifle close, peeking out only when Loona called out. "Lady, uh... Luna! I come to tell you the truth." Loona swallowed thickly. "You have stolen something from me."

Luna blinks at the strange creature before her. "I do not think we have met. What of yours could I have stolen?"

Loona cringed, squirming in place. "My heart," she barely got out.

Luna's eyes widened as her mouth opens with surprise. "Thou said this truly?"

Loona folded her arms. "...Yes."

"Such is unusual for me to hear," Luna spoke, stepping closer to Loona. "If you mean what you say, I would hear more of it." She spread a wing and curled it around the hellhound, having no idea of her true identity. "Shall we step inside?"

Blitzo stood from his hiding spot. "Son of a bitch." He tried firing off a shot at the big mare, but he quickly found the rifle to be broken. "Great. Perfect." He pressed the back of his hand, trying to activate the crystal, but it was just as stubborn. "Wow, tonight is just perfect!" He threw up both hands before shoving his rifle away and slinking forward to see what was happening with Loona.

"For centuries, I have lain my head upon this pillow, wondering what it would be like to be in thy arms," Loona spoke, pretending to be the worst actor ever. That wasn't too far to go from the reality of things. She was invited to curl with Luna, trying her best to look happy about the idea.

Luna inclined her head at the hellhound. "You are two-legged. I do not mean to judge on that alone, but what made you consider a four-legged creature, such as myself?"

Loona licked her muzzle, and the fur around it, glancing down. "My kind aren't known for kindness."

Luna perked an ear at that. "What are your kind known for?"

Loona flexed her claws. "...Causing trouble."

Luna felt Loona tense against her. "Your claws look rather dangerous," she spoke gently. "It is often said, you know your enemy by learning how they handle friendship." She smiled a little. "You are clearly nervous. Have you been cast out by your people?"

Loona gulped thickly, clinging to Luna's side, even going so far as to let her tail wag. "Yeah," she lied, feigning a sniffle. "They don't like my dad either. Said he's a piece of shit." She froze up, suddenly realizing that her "cover" was how she actually felt at that moment. "It's not fair."

"No, it isn't," Luna said. "You seem to be a kind soul."

"Thanks..." Loona replied, pressing her head against Luna's side. "This may sound odd, but you're surprisingly good as a pillow, just saying."

Luna smiled again, more broadly this time. "If I do not show kindness, I cannot expect others to show it to me. I have been deceived too many times."

Loona eased the hold on her claws, relaxing with each deep breath she took. "Yeah... Yeah... I hate it when jerks lie to me." Like she was in the middle of doing. Some of her tension came rushing back. "So, hey! Couldn't help but notice we're both ladies. Does that bother you at all? Is that, like, a horse taboo or anything?"

Luna looked back down at the hellhound, shaking her head. "No, it isn't strange to me at all. The bonds of love are beautiful, no matter what form they take."

Loona relaxed once more. "You know what, I can definitely see what my dad saw in you."

Luna sat up at that. "Your father also thinks of me?!"

Loona froze, realizing she said too much. "Y-yeah, he used to say stories about you, back in the old days, you know?" She laughed tensely with her best false smile.

"What kind of stories?" Luna's eyes were alight with curiosity. "You must tell me!"

"Uh..." Loona stood, nervous and anxious. "No... No, I couldn't." She scratched through Luna's thick pelt. "I'd much rather enjoy the real thing right in front of me. You're a bit nicer than a story, you know."

Luna brightened at that. "Ah! So your father did speak of my appearance?"

"Only so much," Loona lied once more, shaking her head. "But actually seeing you? It blows it all away. Makes me, uh, wonder if he ever actually saw you. I'm amazed."

Luna sat tall and proud. "Indeed! I have been through much strife, but I remain faithful to who I am. Nopony can take that away from me!" She inclined her head. "You yet struggle to hold true to yourself, new friend Loona." She laughed gently then. "But it must be fate, that we two of the same name should meet."

"Yeah, fate. Definitely, yeah." Loona breathed slowly, licking her muzzle. "Hey, so, just a question. I'm not from around here. What's your favorite spot to hang out in?"

Luna touched her nose to Loona's cheek. "What a delightful question. Hm. I will arrange that we can visit it, tomorrow. Come at about the same time, and I will show you there."

Loona looked towards where Blitzo was hiding. She smirked and looked back at Luna. "Actually, I've got a better idea." She bit into the royal dress Luna wore, carefully pulling it away with a paw as she turned back to the wall. "I'd rather get to know you better, right now." She growled in a way only a canine could.

Blitzo's eyes widened as Loona made her move. "No! Get out of there!" he hissed out, not that she could hear him. "Abort mission! Abort!" He tried crossing his arms in the vain hope that she would see him.

"Ah... I am not entirely sure about this..." Luna whimpered.

Loona took a deep breath. "Listen, I'll be honest with you." She wagged her tail once. "We wolves, we love howling at the moon." She leaned in a little. "And the moon just landed in front of me."

Luna broke out in a sheepish grin. "Ah! I understand. Do you have a song in mind?"

Loona blinked, realizing her attempt to seduce had gone terribly wrong. "I, uh." She rubbed at the back of her head. "Wanna kiss?"

Luna shook her head as she stood. "On the first date? I must decline, dear Loona. Let us learn of one another first. We will kiss when you've shown yourself worthy of that. Understand?"

Loona released the dress and stepped back. "Fine, I'll just have to work harder then." She turned on a heel, marching away.

The moment she was outside, Blitzo grabbed her and yanked her out of view. "The hell were you doing in there?! You nearly fucked it all up!"

"It's not my fault! You wanted me to distract her, so I tried doing what you would do!" Loona folded her arms across her chest.

Blitzo shook his head. "No, that isn't what I meant!" He colored faintly. "And that isn't what I would have done."

"Yeah yeah." She leaned back against the wall. "She said to come back tomorrow, so fix that gun of yours and we can finish this tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine," he said through grit teeth. "But first we gotta go check out this world. I didn't ask to get sent here, but there is no way I'm missing out." He jumped over the rails and was gone in an instant.

Loona peered at where he had been a moment before. "Great. Now I have to deal with that." She jumped down herself, padding away in the hopes of finding something cool.

As she walked, she noticed the looks she was getting. There were multiple smaller equines, peering up at her. Each had a picture on their butt. They looked just like the figures that her dad loved to collect. "Great." They were all smaller than Luna, barely reaching Loona's crotch.

Loona sighed as she crouched, looking one of them in the eyes. "Hey," she said simply.

The little horse smiled and spoke up. "Hello! My name is Cotton Cloudy, and I am a Pegasus! What are you?"

Loona straightened her back. "I'm a hellhound."

"A hell what?" Cotton Cloudy asked, scratching behind her ear with a hoof. "Hello. You're a nice creature, right?"

"Nicest," she got out with no enthusiasm. She blinked, realizing she was surrounded by small horses. There were all shapes and sizes. Some had pointed horns, others had wings. They each came in different colors, and yet they were all familiar to her. "Oh, those drawings were based off you guys..."

That didn't stop them from coming in to sniff and nose and generally bowl her over in an avalanche of adorable equine flesh. She was eventually able to wriggle free of the little pile, straightening out her fur as best she could. "I'm not here to stay."

"Then why did you come?" Cotton Cloudy hopped in place. "You look tired. I know a place you can rest. Do you wanna go there? It's very pretty and it smells nice."

Loona waved a paw at that, ready to deny before she second guessed herself. "Maybe." She licked her muzzle. "If it's a private place, then yeah, I'd like to see it."

Cotton Cloudy brightened at that. "This way." They led the way with a cheerful giggle. "I'd fly, but you don't have wings."

Loona peered up at the stars and smiled faintly. "Yeah... That would be pretty cool." She turned away from the pony. "Maybe in another life, you know?"

"Life is very long," Cotton Cloudy turned into a large building. "But you can sleep here. It's a hotel, and they're very nice here. They'll give you a room for the night, even if you don't have a reservation."

Loona raised a lone finguer. "Even without any money?"

"We do it all the time!" Cotton Cloudy was bounced on her feet as she trotted towards the counter. "Heeeeey, where's Twinkleshine?"

A new mare popped into view. "Twinkleshine, report, oh! Look at her." Her eyes shined, looking at Loona. "Wow. Does she want to stay here?!"

"She has no place else to go." Cotton Cloudy waved over at Loona. "But she's friendly!"

"Aw, poor dear." Twinkleshine popped back down. "Your room is at the top floor." She offered a key dangling off her hoof. "Have a nice stay."

Loona pouted. "You know I'm just here for tonight, right?" She took the key and peered up at the stairs. "What's so great about it anyway?"

Cotton Cloudy pointed to an elevator. "Don't go walking up there, silly."

Loona stuck her tongue out at the Pegasus, crossing over to the elevator. "If it was a bed, I could climb to the top, no problem." She entered the lift, trying to understand how it worked. Fortunately, the numbers were clear enough and with the press of the biggest, she zipped up towards her new place. "This whole world is a bit wacky."

Author's Note

A new story, we begin! Its schedule is twice a month. Releasing this right now as it's actually late for this month due to hashing out the basic details of the story with my lovely patron.

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2 - Shaking Money Makers

The elevator came to a stop and opened into a suite of a grand kind. She blinked, looking around in shock at how nice the room was. A small pool sat outside, just begging to be used. "What the?" She parked her weapons next to a fully stocked bar. "These ponies sure do know how to treat their not-even-paying-for-it guests, don't they?" She snatched a shot glass and ran a finger across the selection of bottles.

She recognized not a single one of, oh. No, they had an Applejack. It claimed to be a cider though? She shrugged and poured herself some. "If I'm stuck here, may as well enjoy what they have." She drank from it and felt her body lighten with every swallow. "And this shit is way stronger than apple juice!" She placed it down and plopped onto a chair, staring at the world around her. "Seriously, what the hell?" Loona's will to argue it felt diminished, relaxation filling her mind.

"You know what," she began as she stumbled up to her feet. "This place is... Just awesome." She waltzed out towards the pool, slowly stripping off her clothes and diving in. She almost crashed into the far end. "Woah, shit. Maybe that stuff was stronger than I thought. Shit!" She poked her head up and drifted along with the slow current, letting her body soak and calm down. "Just gotta relax, let loose..."

She paddled her way over to a glass table and plucked the bottle of apple juice. "I met your spicy cousin a second ago." The juice was good, if one wasn't looking to get drunk. "Whatever, oh!" She hurried with surprising clarity to the phone she saw. She grabbed the receiver. "Hello?"

"Front desk," sang a cheerful female voice. "How can we help you?"

"Do you have food? I'm hungry and I got nothing here."

"We'll send it right up," the voice promised. "But you must have come from far away. Your clothing looked strange. And you didn't smell like us."

Loona scrunched her nose. She made it a note to sniff one of those horses to learn their smell. "Long away. It's been a heck of a trip."

"Good thing you're here with us then!"

"I'll say." She peered out the window. "Thanks, I'll be waiting." She hung up the phone and looked out over that strange city of ponies. "What have you gotten me into, Dad?"

A knock came at the door. Loona strolled over to it, smelling the air around her as she tried to memorize their scent. She opened it up to see two ponies pushing a cart full of food. One of them, a stallion, small by her view, began unveiling food trays. "Let us know if we got anything wrong, but you, madame, struck us as somecreature that would enjoy a meal with some meat on it!"

Loona inhaled deeply, feeling the aromas swirling in her head. She could just see Blitzo berating her for the feast. "It's perfect." She helped herself to a piece of cooked steak. How and why ponies had that ready to go, she couldn't say, and didn't really care when she had the option of devouring it. "Damn, this is good," she got out around her full mouth.

The mare clapped her hooves. "Glad to hear it! You enjoy yourself." The two shared a high-five with their hooves and trotted off, both looking so very happy with themselves.

Loona swallowed down the steak and took a moment to think about what had just happened. She had never really expected ponies to be so nice to her. Hell wasn't exactly filled with the most positive-minded people, perhaps by design. "Whatever." She peeked at another plate, revealing what looked like mashed potatoes drowning in gravy. "Worth a try." She grabbed a spoon and ate a small amount. She licked her lips, dropping the spoon back into the food. "Wow..." She blinked, picking up the spoon again and grabbing a plate, shoveling the potatoes into her mouth with the speed of a monster truck. "So good!"

She nearly threw the plate at the wall before coming to her senses. Loona took a slow breath. "Okay. Okay! Fine." She flipped the city line the finger. "I forgive you, deadbeat. At least you dragged me somewhere that's not awful."

She dug into the rest of the food, finishing everything off as best she could. Afterwards, she lay against the table and picked up the phone. "Front desk?"

"Hey, are you done eating?"

"Uh-huh." She peered over the city. "You got anything fun going on around here?"

"Lots! Do you want to hear about it? There are shows, very popular in this town. Just let us know what kind you enjoy. Oh, movies, but those are also kind of shows? Plenty of places to shop, and eat, but I doubt you need that." The pony on the line sounded so very excited about it all.

"Calm down," Loona laughed at that. "Okay. Tell me where I can go dancing." She felt the night air blow into her room, heard the faint sounds of music outside.

"Dancing!" Loona winced at that loud outburst. "Oh, certainly. Did you want to do something stately, or 'get down with it' as the foals say?"

Loona rolled her eyes, doubting many actually said that. "The latter."

"Wonderful! Just a moment!" The line clicked, and music played, the tune so fast that she couldn't understand the words. It was music to dance to though. "I think this club is just perfect for you!" The pony gave instructions to a place a few blocks away. "Enjoy yourself, ma'am!"

Loona snapped a finger. "Actually, before you go, you got any good drinks there? Like, I know I'm not paying for it, but I need something. Soda, whatever, nothing too alcoholic."

"Oh, don't you worry about that." The pony sounded amused at the idea. "No such thing as a dance hall that doesn't have a few drinks for the dancers. You just enjoy yourself."

Loona slammed her hand against the wall in excitement. "This town's awesome! Alright, I'll be going then. Thanks, bye." She dropped the receiver and started for the door. "Gonna work off this booze and let it all out with a bunch of horses." She rolled her eyes at her own words. Did they even know how to dance worth a damn? She figured she'd find out.

The elevator opened, revealing a handful of ponies. They made room for Loona, staring up at her with wide eyes. She caught a few looking her over. They were definitely checking her out. She bared her teeth, and that got them looking somewhere else. With a little laugh, she emerged on the ground floor, marching for the exit. She spotted that nice mare at the front desk and waved at them on the way.

Outside, she walked towards where they said the club was, stopping to pick up a small yellow flower that looked like a daisy. It had a nice scent, so she kept it with her. Thumping music pricked her ears. "Maybe they do know how to shake their pastel butts."

The bouncer held a hoof out. "We're at full capacity," he said with a deep voice. "You'll have to wait."

Loona scrunched her nose. "Really?"

The bouncer considered her a moment. "You're taller than most. Skinnier too." One could almost see them figuring out how much space Loona took up compared to the average pony. "Tell ya what, I think we can manage you."

She stepped through into a very large building, almost bigger than Luna's room. "Dance hall" wasn't a bad way of putting it. It felt more like an old timey dance party than anything else. But that wasn't stopping the ponies in it from moving every limb they had energetically to the electronic music filling the space.

Loona's eyes went wide. All around her, ponies were dancing and singing with one another, but what surprised her was just how wild they were being. "Okay, ponies know how to enjoy a dance." She pushed her way through the crowd with a little laugh. She managed to reach the bar, grabbing the closest seat to order something.

A male pony walked up, just tall enough to lean over the bar. "I'm Psycheo! I take it you're new around here?"

Loona considered the stallion. "Yeah. Loona. You here to dance?"

Psycheo laughed. "Not me, sweetie! I'm just the bartender. If you wanna see some dancing, turn around!" He reached down and slid a drink over to her.

Loona intercepted it with a hand, just to push it back. "I actually want something to clear my head. Don't need any more booze, right this second. Maybe later?"

Psycheo lowered the glass. "Well, if you say so." He picked up a glass of water and poured it into a cup. "Not too many ponies asking for that."

"There's not exactly a lot of ponies like me." Loona chugged down the water. "Seriously though? These ponies are getting hammered?"

Psycheo waved his hoof around. "What do you think it is? Water? Or anything else but an alcoholic beverage?"

"You're kidding," she laughed, grinning at him. "This is feeling more like home by the moment." She pushed off the bar, leaving her emptied glass behind. "Time to get myself on that floor."

"I'm sure everypony there will be happy to see you!" Psycheo laughed and ducked down to pour something for somepony else.

Loona let herself start moving to the music. She had to duck and bob to avoid colliding with ponies. As the bouncer had warned, they were full. She could imagine, were she also a pony, she'd have a hard time getting around at all. Fortunately, she was tall, and could get just enough room to move. She turned herself around, feeling the music work through her body.

All around her, ponies were dancing to the beat, hooves moving together in a way she had never seen before. She followed with her own moves, matching the beat of the song that was shaking her at just the right volume. This club knew how to make some great music.

Some ponies came up to dance around her, gyrating with their bodies. Some lifted up onto their back hooves to jump around her, while others tapped against her feet to get her attention. "Yeah? Dancing here."

One offered up some glowing bracelets. "You sure are. You'll look better with these."

"What?" Loona moved forward until she caught a little light reflecting off the glimmering accessories. "Oh. Huh. These actually look pretty good." She slid one onto her wrist. "You ponies are alright. Say, you don't know Luna, do you?"

The pony blinked at that. "Of course I do. Guardian of dreams and fellow night-walker!" Cheers erupted around them as other ponies heard and joyfully joined in praise of their night princess. "She's awesome, what about her?"

"Nothing much, really." Loona helped put more bracelets on herself. "Met her earlier, just didn't expect ponies to be into her so much."

"You met Princess Luna?" The dancing mare clopped a hoof to either cheek. "Wow! She met Luna!"

All the ponies in the area looked at Loona with clear surprise and awe.

"That's so amazing!" One of them called out. "What did she say? Was it nice? Was she cool? Did she use her magicky powers?!"

Loona sighed, slumping over slightly as she was subjected to question after question. "She was nice enough, um, gonna meet her again?" That got a fresh wave of questions. "Look, I just want to dance, alright?" That got them to back off, as if the right to dance was a sacred thing.

The ponies moved on, the dance hall filling with more music. They were playing from something high up and very expensive-looking. As she watched the ponies moving together, she picked up one of their dances and shared it with the crowd around her. The night passed by kinda pleasantly, she had to admit.

"So," she said once the crowds had calmed down, and the DJ finished. "Who was that? Didn't look like the normal DJ."

Psycheo laughed at that. "Oh, she's a celeb in the dance scene. DJ Pon3! AKA, Vinyl Scratch. She's basically a hero to club dancers. Anyone who loves dancing knows who she is." He spread his hooves. "Totally rad."

"Huh. Didn't know horses could be celebrities." She sat on a bar stool, peering over the dance hall. It had mostly cleared out by then. "Dancing here is such a big deal?"

"It is to those that do it." He was cleaning up the bar. Things really were cooling off. "And it isn't to those that don't."

"Yeah, that checks out." Loona shrugged with a laugh. "Fun enough. Thanks for the good time." She pushed to her feet. "Guess I should head back."

Psycheo motioned to the exit. "I'll see you again soon enough."

Loona figured that too, considering what they were there for. "Later." She hopped out onto the street to see it was late in the evening. If it wasn't for the lights on the streets, it'd be entirely dark out. She was quick to get to her hotel, where she found the nice front desk mare still on duty. "Hey, you work this late?"

"The hotel's my passion." The mare clapped her hooves together. "Did you have a nice dance? You look better!"

"I did, thanks. Think I'm gonna pass out for a bit now." She hopped onto the elevator and tapped the button to the top floor. Her vision blurred a bit, just as the doors closed. "Ugh, thought I had worked it out of me." But booze didn't work that way entirely. Only time could cure her.

Loona got back to her room, staring at the stars outside. "Stupid ponies," she muttered as she flopped onto the bed. "That's so not fair."

Author's Note

Loona has a lovely night in Canterlot. Maybe this place isn't all bad. She does have a mission though...

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3 - It's a Date

Morning broke over Canterlot. Not too many hours later, the phone rang, waking Loona up from her drunken sleep. She answered the phone and laid it on the pillow next to her as she listened to it talk. "Ma'am?" It was the nice mare from the front desk. Loona wondered a moment if that pony ever slept. "Somecreature's here, looking for you, and he seems very irritated."

Loona yawned loudly, rolling on top of the phone and turning it off. "Heh. Bye-bye, Daddy."

***

Blitzo growled at the mare in the hotel lobby. "What the heck?! She turns off the phone, knowing full well I'm right here?! What kind of fucking child did I raise?!"

"A loving one, given that she is your daughter." Twinkleshine looked the imp over. "She did mention a father. I assumed that would be you."

He scoffed. "Yeah. Where is she?" Twinkleshine pointed up and up until she was pointing directly above him. "She had a nice time last night and looked pretty tired when she got back. I would let her sleep."

"You are so damn lucky you're adorable." He reached out to muss Twinkleshine's mane. "Yeah, whatevever. I had a nice time too. Got a nice city here, but we got work we should be doing." He pointed to the ceiling as well. "Would have asked you to take me to her sooner, but you weren't exactly on duty. Busy life of a secretary, eh?"

Twinkleshine giggled. "We have all kinds of things to do, as hotel staff."

"But of course." Blitzo looked back and forth. "There's something you could help me with."

Twinkleshine tilted her head. "And that is?"

"First, the name's Blitz." He hiked a thumb back at himself. "Next up, my daughter is an absolute fool sometimes. Doesn't understand that all men love, and women are all jealous whores." Twinkleshine gasped at that. "It's true! Anyway, I really do need to reach her. Do you think you could show me which room she's in?"

"I'm not supposed to show any guests rooms that aren't theirs." Twinkleshine chewed on her lower lip. "Besides, she paid for it herself, it is hers. That makes it worse."

Blitzo shook his head, laughing dryly. "She didn't have any local money on her. Now I know you're full of shit."

"I could hardly ask what she does for a living and just give her a room anyway!" Twinkleshine protested.

"And so you got stiffed," he guessed correctly. "Is that your reasoning?"

The front desk mare smiled. "Hardly! She just seemed so happy!"

He grinned. "Trust me, if she's happy, it ain't good news for this hotel." Blitzo turned towards the stairway. "If I have to knock on every damn door in this place, I'll get started."

Twinkleshine grabbed his tail before he could run up the stairs. "You wouldn't dare." She pulled him away, opening a door behind the front desk. "This way leads straight to her. But only because you made such a convincing case."

Blitzo bowed down at her with flourish. "I thank thee, milady, for your benevolent grace." He snickered as she trotted past him.

"We do pride ourselves on our courtesy." Twinkleshine led him to a back lift that was used only by staff. "Please, after you." She ushered him inside before tapping the screen with a hoof.

Blitzo watched the numbers rise for several long seconds. On hitting the top one, the door slid open in either direction. Before them, a hallway stretched onward with red carpet leading to the same door he'd first appeared from. The wallpaper was a soft rose color. "Hm. Classy." He stepped through to hear a faint pinging sound coming from further away.

Twinkleshine stepped out with a big smile. "She had come from so far away, I put her in one of the nicer rooms." They strolled together, heading for that lone door at the end. Twinkleshine opened it to reveal an empty room and the sound of running water.

Blitzo walked into the room, sniffing deeply. "Yo, Loona! If you don't finish that shower right now, I'm sending pictures of you as a baby to everyone!" He dropped into a couch that sank under his weight.

Loona's sleepy grunt was the first reply before the shower turned off. "Piss off!"

"If you want me to send those baby photos to the entire pony world, I will!"

She threw the curtain aside and rubbed the steam off her body, shaking her fur dry. "I'm only here because you dragged me here, 'dad'. You work up the nerve to get your own work done?"

"Pssshht." Blitzo brushed her anger aside with a smirk. "Me? Scared? C'mon, I've known you since you were in diapers."

Loona blushed and quickly hid her privates. She hurried to grab some proper clothes and conceal herself. "I'm talking about shooting Luna. You ready or not?"

Twinkleshine blinked, eyes wide. "Why would anycreature want to hurt Luna?! Isn't she nice?!"

Loona paused as she stood up from slipping some underwear on. "Shit." She glanced between her dad and Twinkleshine. "Maybe she didn't know that was a figure of speech."

Twinkleshine relaxed immediately. "Oh! You mean take pictures of her? How delightful!" She giggled brightly at that. "You'd probably want to visit the museum later today. I believe Princess Luna has some duties in relation there. You should get moving!" She started off towards the elevator. "Have a nice day!"

Loona watched her leave. "...So you're good?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Blitzo got to his feet and sauntered over to a small table full of food. He grabbed an apple a the top and took a big bite. "These ponies sure do love their produce. Damn if it isn't kinda good though. Either way, the plan hasn't changed. You put a bullet in Luna, we go home, collect the cash."

Loona frowned a bit at that. "Whatever. Let's go." She finished getting dressed and moved over to her weapons. "These horses sure are friendly, huh?"

Blitzo looked over her arsenal of weaponry. "Friendly? Please, they're easily the stupidest people I've ever seen. We'd never see humans so easy to manipulate or get along with." He rubbed his hands together. "I love it. Can we take one home? Pretty please!"

Loona grimaced at him. "No, Dad, we're not stealing from them! Besides, maybe you should treat them less like idiots. It wasn't hard to put it together that someone might want to hurt her."

"Their loss." Blitzo shrugged at that. "The rifle's all fixed. I wasn't just enjoying myself last night." He threw it to her. "So, no excuses this time. You're gonna have to put that pony in the ground yourself. You can manage that, right?"

"Duh," Loona answered instantly. She pocketed her knife and her other firearms, shouldering the rifle. "She's just a horse." She hid her wince. "Just a horse. Right. Maybe we shouldn't kill her?"

He stared at her. "Are you kidding me? After everything we went through, you want to quit?!"

"Dad, I'm not trying to quit, I just think-" She threw up her hands.

"There's no quitting!" He stomped over to his hellhound girl and jabbed her chest. "You're a part of a team, whether you like it or not. We have an obligation to uphold our end of the bargain. We kill who we agreed to kill, then we get paid. Simple!" He flapped his arms against his sides.

"This whole world doesn't operate on greed and lust, dad." She sighed lightly. "Look, let's get moving. We can figure it out as we go."

***

Luna faced a crowd, which was not where she was at her best. "Citizens of Canterlot, I proudly, hm." She shuffled in place, clearing her throat as she struggled to remember the next line. "I present, the museum, open to all citizens!" She raised the ribbons before her horn ignited, slicing them to shreds.

A crowd of ponies cheered and applauded at that, charging towards the door to enter. Luna let go of a slow sigh of relief.

Loona sauntered up through the crowd, going directly for Luna.

"Ooo, bold. Going in for the personal touch." Blitzo rubbed his hands with a vicious smirk. "That's my girl."

Loona tried ignoring him. "Hey!" Her voice caught Luna's attention. "Thanks for the lovely conversation last night!"

Luna smiled and returned the greeting. "Yes, it was fun, but it would be more enjoyable if we did not shout at one another." She waved for Loona to come closer and was quiet until they were in conversational range. "Good to see you again. You look refreshed!"

Loona grinned a little. "Yeah, thanks. Nice town you've got here. Wonderfully... Easy-going." She chuckled a bit. "Hey, listen, you don't suppose we could hang out again, tonight?"

Luna smiled at the invitation. "It would be a delight. Curious courter, have you something in mind for me?" She leaned in, touching her nose to Looona's cheek. "You excite me with possibilities."

"Really?" Loona smiled warmly and wrapped a hand around Luna's waist, pulling her closer. "How about I give you the ride of a lifetime?" She leaned against the royal body.

"Oh my," Luna breathed out, flushing. "You are too bold, my canine courter." She paused. "Unless you meant that literally? Did you desire a ride across the night sky?"

Loona laughed at that. "Uh-huh." She brushed the tip of her muzzle along Luna's mane, breathing softly in her ear. "It's a shame our relationship won't go any further, Luna."

Luna's blush grew more intense. "You have woken up full of libidinous energy, dear Loona. I would rather learn more of you, and give you a chance to learn of me, before we push on to new things."

Blitzo was disgusted. "Is she seriously flirting with Luna? The fuck..."

Loona shook her head, growing serious. "Luna, let me warn you. My dad is the absolute worst." She cupped Luna's jaw. "Seriously, the worst. But I'm probably no better. We're greedy and selfish people, willing to hurt whoever it takes to get paid." Her cheeks heated up as she admitted that much to her target. "I wanted you to know, we came here because somebody wants you dead."

Blitzo felt the air rush out of his lungs. His blood went cold as Loona ratted him out. "No!" he screamed, drawing his gun and firing wildly. A sign fell and smashed on the ground.

Luna didn't hear, too stunned at Loona's word. "Want me dead?! Whyever for? I have done little deserving of such thoughts."

"Sorry," Loona whispered. "I'm gonna try and make things right now." She let go of Luna and ran back towards her father, dodging more gunfire. "Listen, I think-"

"Forget it, girl!" Blitzo pushed past a stallion in a uniform to vault over the fence. "Your dumb ass may be okay with fucking up this gig, but not me!"

Loona grabbed Blitzo and threw him back. "Can you please keep your bullshit in check for ten seconds so we can talk this out?!"

"Not now." He dodged a unicorn officer and scampered along a wall, his rifle dangling from him as he tried to find a perch. "If you didn't want to pull the trigger, you should have kept your dumb mouth shut!" He leapt onto the edge and perched up top.

She was on the wall a moment later, sprinting alongside him. "Why am I expected to shoot a perfectly nice woman?! She's done nothing wrong!" She spun on her heels as guards climbed the walls after them, aiming a kick and bowling them all down.

"Some of our targets are assholes, and some aren't!" He grabbed one of the spires jutting from the wall and used it to swing himself further ahead. "But it's none of our damn business, either way!" He dug his claws into the roof and hurled himself higher.

Luna crashed into Blitzo suddenly, tackling him as her magic yanked his rifle away. "Is this one working alongside you, or an enemy?" she demanded, eyes blazing as they stared hard into Blitzo.

He spat a loogie into her eye. "Fuck off! Both of you!"

Luna recoiled in disgust at the spit, giving Blitzo time to struggle free.

Loona ran into view a second later. "Look, I'm sorry! But I can't in good conscience help you hurt an innocent creature anymore!" She extended a hand towards Luna. "So we're calling this assassination off."

Blitzo's arms sagged with defeat. "Fucking hell. I'd call you more things if I could finish the job properly myself." He waved at Luna. "I mean, look at her! Those big pinchable cheeks! Those big cute eyes! That tail!" His ears drooped as he spoke. "Do you know how hard it is to shoot a pony that looks so sweet, even to my heartless self?"

Luna glanced down at herself. "What do my looks have to do with murder?" She paused, squinting at Blitzo. "Wait, wait! Are you also attempting to court me?"

"What? No!" Blitzo turned away. "I'll leave that up to my hornball daughter. I just want to hug ponies, not fuck 'em."

Luna folded her forelimbs over her chest. "I think the term you seek is 'flirt', which you cannot deny doing when describing my appearance."

"Fair enough." He clutched at his face, letting out a frustrated moan. "Either way, you took my weapon, and I sure as hell ain't gonna go with stabbing."

Luna plucked up Blitzo's fallen knife with her magic. "That reminds me. Such brutal instruments have little place in Equestria. You have committed terrible acts with this."

He folded his arms behind his back and rocked side to side. "Not here I haven't. You two didn't let me commit a single crime anywhere close to here." Loona held his dagger and turned it about in her hands as he spoke. "So if you can forgive us, I guess, we'll leave. For good."

"No!" Loona stomped her foot down. "Besides, we can't. Or did you fix that too?"

"I wish." He pointed to his dud transport device on his wrist. "Still dead. We're stuck here for now. So unless you want us to rob people blind on the way out of here, we'd be happy to not cause you any trouble at all. I promise!"

Luna turned her head left and right. "You two are a curious pair. What is your relationship?"

"Huh?"

Loona cleared her throat, speaking up instead of him. "Dad and adoptive daughter. I didn't take kindly to him and I still don't. But..." She shrugged. "He's still that." She grabbed him and pulled him closer. "Super ass, but he's my super ass. Sorry for the trouble. You're not hurt, right?"

Luna shook her head, looking both flustered and confused. "I am unhurt, but not unphased. You are nothing like other predators I have encountered."

Loona rubbed her neck with a breathless laugh. "I bet other predators aren't hoping to hang out, if you're, you know, still up for that?"

"You wanna hit on my would-be-victim?" Blitzo laughed at the irony. "After getting caught in the act?"

"I did worse before." She grimaced at what he'd say. "I've been shot by a date before." She held out a hand towards Luna. "I figured, hey, compared to that? Trying to fuck someone after nearly murdering them has to be easier, right?"

Luna stared at the offered limb for a while. Then she reached forward slowly to bump Loona's finger with a hoof. "I will forgive him, but I am keeping this weapon. You, be at my place tonight, at the seventh tolling of the bell."

Loona nodded and backed off to jump over the edge. She hit the ground and rolled with it, heading into the distance.

Luna grabbed Blitzo up in her magic aura and brought him over the edge as well. She levitated him down gently and placed him near a trio of guards, one of which resembled a palomino version of Rob Schneider with wings. "Captain Winterspear, hold him prisoner."

"Hey! You said you forgave me!" Blitzo protested loudly.

"Only that you are unharmed," she assured him.

"I'll take that. Could have gone worse." He kicked his legs up, hanging limp in the grip of her blue magic. "You'll let me go afterwards, right?"

Luna arched a brow at him. "Behave yourself and we will speak again." With that said, she tossed him at the nearest guard and set off to her next task. She had lots to accomplish before nightfall. Including writing a letter.

"Very funny, lady." He landed in the guards' waiting hooves.

Winterspear hefted Blitzo up on his shoulder. "Alright, you scrawny little cretin. This way to the castle dungeons. You'd better hope we're not busy tonight, or the Princess won't spare any time for you."

Author's Note

They're dating, yay! The cat's thoroughly out of the bag. That chapter felt good to me, bits struck true to me, like I was in an episode. For you?

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4 - Painting the Town

Loona stepped off the final stair with her chin held high, strutting down the long hallway towards an ornate bedroom door. She stopped and gave it a sharp knock-knock before pushing inside. "I'm here!" She nodded at the guards that were giving her stern looks as she walked right past them. "Sounded important." Inside the room, Luna paced before a bed. "Did you mean that?"

"Yes," Luna replied promptly. "My sister received my letter regarding the two of you. She is coming here tomorrow to examine you herself." She turned to face Loona, her face dissolving into panic. "I don't know how she learned I had a courter so quickly! Are you prepared to face royalty?! I am so excited, yet anxious at once!"

Loona nodded at that, reaching out for the nervous princess' shoulders. "Princess Celestia, right? You talk about her often." She fired a thumbs up. "She's your sister. How hard can that be?"

Luna calmed somewhat, breathing in deep. "Yes, yes. Very good point." She lowered her head a moment and then looked straight back up. "I shall endeavor to overcome my fears as well as you, and bring us together as a couple." She clapped her hooves. "But we haven't even had our first date. My sister's timing is beyond compare."

"Sorry, Princess." Loona swept a bang from her face. "Think we can still have a night out without worrying too much about a visit from her celestialness tomorrow?"

"It's Highness!" Luna corrected in annoyance. "My sister is a Highness." She softened the next second. "And yes, I would enjoy that." Her horn glowed, bringing over the tiara to her head. "I am ready for a night of frivolity and opportunity to examine my potential partner." Her smile turned devious as her horn lit up. "We'll begin by visiting a tavern I am quite fond of."

***

The 'tavern' called itself a bar. There were about three ponies already inside, each huddled over a drink of some kind. "Ah, yes!" Luna gestured to a green stallion at the bar. "Mister Trotsworth. How is he?"

"M'lord!" Trotsworth stood up immediately with a goofy grin on his face. "It has been awhile since we've last met." He nodded to Luna, then looked past her to Loona. "And who is this creature?"

Luna strode forward and clapped Trotsworth on the shoulder. "This is my friend, Lady Loona. She's my newest interest." She leaned close. "She doesn't know anything about what goes on at a bar, so please educate her on how it works, Trotsworth."

Loona waved that away. "Please. Not the first dive I visited. Give me a whiskey, top shelf, on the rocks with half a twist." She gestured wildly with her hands as she spoke, as if that made it clear.

The bartender nodded. "Okay, then," he muttered, grabbing a bottle and pouring her the drink.

Trotsworth pulled himself up to sit upon the stool at the bar. "Well, Lady Luna. You have a fascinating friend with you. Am I in the way? Say the word. I will excuse myself."

"Nonsense," Luna insisted. "Have you had your drinks yet?" She looked around him. "You seem awfully sober, my friend."

"And drunk enough to play some games?" He laughed at the notion. "I'll take a beer, whatever the house is offering today." The bartender was quick to put that down. Trotsworth lifted it with a hoof and knocked it back into his mouth, drinking it down with ease. "Not bad," he remarked.

"I could chug twenty times that amount," Loona boasted.

Trotsworth gazed back and forth between Loona and Luna with amusement. "Ah! You should see a real bar." Trotsworth shook his head and drank the rest down in a single gulp. "It's amazing the difference a few drops can make."

Loona found Trotsworth amusing, for the most part. She was drinking her whiskey at a casual rate, neither sipping nor chugging. "So, Luna, you come to places like this often? Meet a lot of nice colts?"

"Well, Luna prefers bars with a bit more class. Somewhere you can enjoy a good conversation without being bothered," Trotsworth explained, chuckling. "Though I'm guessing Loona here enjoys rowdier crowds." He eyed her critically. "You put off that kind of vibe."

Loona grinned toothily. "Nah. I'm fine wherever there's booze." She raised her glass for a refill. "Who cares who else is drinking it with ya, long as I got something." She set down her empty glass. "But if I'm dancing with them? Yeah, rowdier is good. I prefer a room that's moving to the beat."

"She is an interesting soul" Luna regarded Loona with admiration, her gaze focused on her strong physique. "I am not sure why she approached me, to be honest. She could have anycreature else."

Trotsworth glanced sidelong at Loona, appraising her in a different fashion. "She must see something in you worth pursuing, Luna," he murmured.

Loona put a hand on her hip. "You don't have to talk about me like I'm not right here." She reached around Luna to poke Trotsworth on the snout. "So, do you dance, or do you prefer chatting over beers? No shame in that, by the way."

"I do both." Trotsworth rubbed the spot where she'd touched him. "However, I prefer a less crowded room when dancing," he confessed. He took the fresh glass filled with more beer and raised it at them. "Which is why I'm often here. It's quiet, dark, and if I feel like it, a fine place to shake things out. The ambiance fits my personality far better than a loud discotheque."

"I can dig that." Loona propped her arm against Luna's side. "Luna and I should grab ourselves a quiet place sometime and get dirty dancing together."

Luna colored at the implication. "You are bold." She pushed Loona back a few inches. "Too bold. Let us learn of each other before we consider that step."

Trotsworth tilted his head. "I wouldn't mind learning a little more of you." He considered it a moment and added, "About you." That seemed better.

Luna sighed. "Must you always make moves on every mare you meet?"

He laughed at that. "If it helps, she's no mare." He considered Loona. "May I ask what sort of creature are you? Part of me wants to guess Diamond Dog, but that feels off. What would you describe yourself as, my dear?"

"Hellhound, you filthy shit." Loona grinned brightly. "Nice try though."

"I have heard of many species of predator." Trotsworth thought aloud, counting them off with the fingers on his hoof. "But you are the first of your kind I have ever met, Loona." He tilted his head. "Where does one usually find a hellhound?"

"In hell?" Loona waved at the bartender, getting a fresh order in her hands to draw from. "Kinda goes with the name. We are hounds of hell." She flashed her dangerous teeth. "No subtlety there."

Luna looked over at Loona with mild awe. "You do remind me of a dog in appearance, truth be told." She shrugged. "In certain aspects."

Trotsworth cleared his throat and moved closer to Loona, reaching out to touch her elbow. "I don't know where this 'hell' place is, but if it has more creatures like you, a visit might be nice."

Loona broke into wild laughter at that. "Not at all worth the trip, mister. It's shitty. Just trust me. Besides..." Her mirth died instantly. "We're kinda stuck here, until my dipshit father fixes our portal." She turned to Luna. "You. I can hear music, quiet as it is. I demand a little dance. Doesn't have to be pervy, just a dance. C'mon!" She yanked Luna out of her chair and dragged her to an empty spot in front of the television, which only had a program about sports on, but music played under the commentary.

"Um." Luna fluttered her wings nervously. "This is so sudden. Can I decline without fear of making my suitor angry?"

"Please!" Trotsworth exclaimed, urging Luna on. "Dance!"

"Dancing doesn't have to be good. Nobody watches someone else for technique alone anyway." Loona waved at Trotsworth. "Your friend just wants to see you move. Listen to the music, shitty as it is, and just go with the beat."

"I suppose. How do you dance without bumping your hips with mine?"

"I've got some moves. They don't have to be raunchy. Watch!" She demonstrated, shimmying and moving to the rhythm. Loona wagged her tail, and her bottom, but was in no threat of colliding with Luna. She reached out to pull her into the dance and they started grooving together, laughing with delight.

Luna felt her anxiety dipping as she watched Loona move and followed suit, stepping to the music. The feeling was pleasant and it distracted her from thinking too hard about what she was doing. She continued watching, swaying side to side and moving with grace. She followed the beat of the song and the way Loona was going, creating two patterns that created the third within her.

After several moments of this, Trotsworth applauded their display. "Now I see why you asked her out, Luna. She certainly has spirit!" He turned to look at Loona with an approving stare. "Quite a talent, Lady Loona."

"Fuck you." She flipped him the bird, but Loona was clearly enjoying herself as she moved. "You have interesting tastes in friends, I'll give that. I've been around worse."

Luna grinned wickedly. "Perhaps you shouldn't underestimate how friendly we are."

Loona's cheeks darkened and she nearly tripped over her own feet at the implication. Trotsworth smirked knowingly. "Look, where I'm from, I'm not used to people just chilling. Every person out there is trying to stab your back."

"How unpleasant." Luna grimaced in sympathy. "My realm is very different from yours, it seems. Equestria may be dangerous, but is rarely unkind." She waved a hoof at Trotsworth. "He may seem forward at times, but he will take not one step you do not expressly permit him to."

Trotsworth dipped his head. "As a gentlecolt should."

Loona sat down heavily in a chair, wiping the sweat from her brow. "Okay, look. I feel better." She waved for a fresh drink. "Nothing like a little dance to work out the jitters."

"It's called 'exercise'," Trotsworth pointed out.

"Really?" Luna turned to Trotsworth. "Do you think I could perform such activity regularly?"

Trotsworth inclined his head. "You're welcome to dance where I can see it anytime you like, Your Highness."

Luna stared at him flatly. "It doesn't sound appropriate when you phrase it like that, Trotsworth." She whirled towards Loona. "What say you? Care to instruct me in new methods of dance?"

Loona flashed a smirk of a smile. "With pleasure. Next time, we go somewhere louder, and I'll show you some real moves. Tonight was casual. Still good though!" She finished off her glass and set it aside with a light thud. "You know, Luna, you're really cute when you cut loose." Her grin turned lopsided. "I like it." She winked at her date with a laugh.

Luna blushed and hesitantly wrapped a wing over Loona, drawing her close. "I would—"

Trotsworth interrupted the moment with a sharp whistle. "Lady Loona," he said quickly, turning their attention towards him. "Forgive my rudeness, but are you aware of where you are?"

"Huh?" Loona raised her gaze. "A bar, right?"

"You're sitting here flirting with royalty, did you realize?" His question wasn't mocking or challenging, but concerned.

Luna seemed to catch what was being said. "My friend is suggesting I'm being far too physically close for such a public outing." She drew her wing back. "My apologies. I would not wish the rumor mill to—"

"Screw your rumor mill." Loona slammed her glass down. "Like I care what anyone says." She laughed aloud. "You have some guts to talk about rumors, when I doubt anyone even knows who I am."

A sharp flash made them all blink. A pony in obvious reporter clothing dashed away across the street.

Trotsworth laughed out a sigh. "Well, at least she only got a picture of you two sitting together, instead of what she would have gotten a moment earlier."

"Yeah." Loona glanced sidelong at Luna. "Sorry for not letting you decide if you wanted to be caught, or not."

Luna tapped a hoof to her lips, contemplating that. "It is fine. I am royalty. It is my responsibility to mind my reputation and how my actions might reflect on me, and everything around me." She huffed at the thought. "It is a heavy burden at times. Loona, have you had enough to drink?"

Trotsworth chuckled softly and nodded his agreement. "The press are like piranhas in a frenzy."

Loona waved off their concern. "Whatever. You guys worry about appearances way too much." She rose up from her seat. "Anyway, let's roll, girl."

Luna gave one parting nod to her friend and led Loona from the bar. "Come, let's away to a place with a touch more privacy."

Trotsworth raised his mug. "Your Majesty! Good fortune guide you."

Luna led Loona by hoof back onto the streets. They were soon walking down the street together in comfortable silence. Luna turned an ear towards her canine companion. "Are you enjoying your evening? Are you ready to return home, or shall we remain in Canterlot longer?"

Loona didn't answer right away, letting the crisp night air whip her hair back. The starry sky overhead was soothing, the gentle light of distant celestial objects caressing them with warmth.

Luna could see the stress easing away from her shoulders as the wind swept through her mane, tousling it. "Answer enough, I feel." The two fled in no great hurry back to the castle, and in it, her room. Luna nodded to the guards standing in front of her room and led Loona inside. The moment the doors closed, she removed her tiara and collapsed face-first upon her bed.

Loona hiked a brow at her collapsed companion. "You okay?"

"It has been so long since I spent time relaxing," Luna admitted. "Not since returning to Equestria, at any rate. For that, I thank you, Loona. Today has been a wonderful change of pace." She sat up slowly. "I should away to the dreams of my ponies, to see that they are safe."

Loona sat down upon the bed beside her, looking uncertain how to reply. "Uh..."

"You know, making sure everypony is sleeping peacefully, and ensuring there are no nightmares to spoil the good dreams they would otherwise enjoy." Luna cycled her hooves over one another. "That is my duty, as princess of the night."

Loona grunted dismissively. "Sounds lame." She looked down at the tired-looking mare. "And you don't get a day off?"

"The sun is my sister's domain, yes."

Loona laughed at that. "I meant a day as in the time you're awake, doofus." She flicked one of Luna's ears. "Not fair, you deserve some time to yourself."

"My duty must come first." Luna folded her forelimbs across her chest. "I love my subjects dearly and will gladly give them of myself. I could never abandon them, or treat them so callously."

Loona reached out a hand, stroking along Luna's flank, bringing the mare back down beside her on the bed. "You royal fuckers share the same damn problem, I swear. Your people are tougher than you think, and most of them don't want to see you suffering. Relax. A night once in a while isn't a crime."

"Very well. We shall spend it together," Luna agreed, leaning forward and resting her chin atop Loona's head. "Now please, lay yourself against me."

"Sure." Loona leaned in closer, taking comfort in the closeness. Snuggling in with Luna in general wasn't bad. The two cradled one another, and sleep came for them swiftly.

Author's Note

I wrote two romantic scenes in the same day. Coincidence?

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5 - Reporting for Duty

The next morning found them in one another's arms as a knocking startled both awake. Luna felt her mind shift from the realm of dreams back into the waking world, a process she took in stride, but Loona found it jarring. She jerked awake, pulling Luna closer to herself, clinging to the pony princess.

Luna scowled at the door. "Who dares to disturb me?"

"Your highness," came the muffled voice of a guard. "Your sister has arrived to see you."

Luna's fury melted into fear quickly. "Tell her I am bathing." She hopped to her hooves and reached for a brush. "Get dressed," she whispered to Loona. "And go with my love."

Loona slipped free of the bed. "W-what? Are you embarrassed to show me off to your sister?"

Luna shook her head fiercely. "Absolutely not. But I don't wish for her to first see us sharing a bed like this. She will assume things!"

Loona threw an arm over Luna's withers, drawing her closer. "Let her assume. She isn't your boss."

Luna huffed softly. "She is everypony's boss." She glowered a moment. "Still, don't you want to meet her not wrapped in the arms of her sister?"

"...That makes sense." Loona slid from the bed. She picked up her discarded outfit from the floor and slung it on. Her clothes were a little wrinkled. She was about to run her claws through the mess atop her head when Luna held out a brush for her.

"Thanks." She took it and started brushing herself as neatly as she could. "You sure you're good?"

"Hopefully this will be a quick thing. I will mee—" Before she could finish, the doors to the chamber slapped open, revealing the pony of the sun herself.

Celestia stepped into the room with slow and stately motions. "Luna, your guards had said you were still bathing."

Luna blushed hard. "I bade them lie for me."

"Clearly." Celestia's gaze fell upon the only non-pony in the room. "Greetings, stranger, to whom do I owe the honor?"

Loona laughed tensely, looking up at the new princess. "Wow, you're even taller."

Celestia laughed in kind, though her sound was far less worried. "One of the tallest, but fret not. My stature is not meant for intimidation. Are you Loona?"

Luna inclined her head. "I am Luna."

Celestia huffed at that. "With two Os. Are you that creature?"

Loona nodded. "That would be me, yes. Why are you asking and why do you already know my name?"

Celestia raised a hoof at Loona. "Your father mentioned it no few times. Why is your father in my jail, speaking of that?" She looked to Luna for that answer.

Luna groaned at that. "He made an ill-considered attempt to murder me." Luna threw an arm out at Loona. "She was against it, so she was allowed to stay."

Celestia flapped her wings once. "Daughter of one that would attempt to harm you, and you find favor with her? How interesting."

Luna recognized that way of speaking. "Stop that! She is her own creature, and does not belong to her father. What he does doesn't rest on her shoulders."

Celestia leaned in closer to Loona. "And you are alright with your father being imprisoned?"

Loona shrugged. "I've been looking to get away from him, anyway. His being in prison has been an excuse to let me walk free. It's hard to explain, but he's kind of an overbearing fuck." She threw up a hand. "Just for a little while. I don't want that ass being jailed forever, even if he kinda deserves it."

Celestia laughed aloud at that. "Well then! I see you care about him at least a little. Is it so difficult to admit?"

Loona shrugged again, feeling put on the spot.

Celestia circled around Loona. "What a curious set of creatures you are. He had quite a few things to say about you, both good and ill. It seemed part of his anger was directed at you claiming Luna's heart before he had the chance."

Loona growled at that. "Fuck that noise. Even if he is my father, I'm my own person. And if I want to date someone, then fuck him and whatever the shit he's saying." She kicked her feet against the floor.

Celestia reached a wing. "Calm yourself. If my sister enjoys your company, it is not my place to question it, unless you intend her harm?"

"Not intentionally," Loona muttered. "But, yeah, I'm getting a thing for her. So shoot me."

Luna stomped a hoof down. "You won't shoot her." Her eyes flared.

"Figure of speech." Loona laughed at that misunderstanding. "So, what do you actually want, Celestia?"

"You." She didn't miss a beat in saying that.

Luna whirled about and gave Loona a shove. "Leave us. We are to discuss certain private matters."

"Fine, fine." Celestia took a slow step back. "I see you two are enjoying one another." And she enjoyed the coloring she prompted from both in saying that. "I am releasing your father, without his many weapons. I would ask, do you have weapons I should be concerned about? Even if you are peaceful, you do not require an armory to enjoy her company."

Loona looked away, clearing her throat. "Uh, nope. Just a knife. I don't even know where that went," she lied.

Celestia folded her wings over herself. "You can leave it here. It is not as if Luna can't defend her home." She looked to Luna. "Or has your time on the moon made you soft?"

Luna sneered at Celestia, but it was clear she did not mean it. "My domain is both small and vast." She placed a hoof at her chest. "The mind's of untold many ponies rely on my ability to keep them safe." She paused, confused. "Wait, are you implying she has a weapon?"

Loona shrank back a step. "I-it's for protection! I live in Hell, Luna. It's not fucking safe, even for us. There are other demons, other monsters, not to mention the untold many sinners."

Luna sighed in frustration. "Why do you hide such a thing?"

Loona reached out with her hand. "Just give it back to me, and I swear I will tell you everything."

Luna extended a hoof. "You do not need a weapon in my presence. I will keep you safe. Trust me."

Loona grimaced. "I don't like being vulnerable," she admitted. "Also, literally never had a good time any time someone said 'trust me'. That goes double for my dad."

Celestia took another slow step back. "You have clearly been through things that have left their mark on you, but this is not hell. This is a gentler world, by and large. We leave our weapons with our guards."

Loona suddenly grinned. "Well, that's easy then." She pointed at Celestia. "I'm one of your guards then."

Celestia jumped at that sudden pivot. "Why mine, and not my sister's?"

Loona wrinkled her nose. "Ew, dating someone working for you? Get out. That's too tacky."

Luna laughed at the turn of events. "That is a good point. Though I do not think you would make a good guard for the Sun Princess."

Celestia gave Loona an appraising once-over. "You are less abrasive than your father, a good thing. Are you able to battle, with a mind sharp enough to know when not to?"

Loona pointed at Celestia again. "Look, bitch. Do I look like some fucking pleb? I don't need your condescension. Of course I know how to fucking fight, and when it's worth it." She cracked her knuckles. "And, bonus, I'm not intimidated by either of you, so I'll get things done without cowering."

Celestia chuckled. "I see." She nodded to Luna. "And if my sister desires a private audience with me?"

Loona waved a claw at the door. "Then I'll fuck off and do something else." She dug out her phone. "Do they have cellphones around here? I haven't seen a single one so far."

"Phones are attached to walls, not... whatever that is," Celestia answered. "If you are certain, I will accept your offer."

Loona grinned at that. "Nice." Then she sobered up. "So if you need a specific thing guarded, you tell me."

Celestia pointed to Luna. "Guard that."

Luna laughed aloud, surprised by her sister. "You would have me guarded by a creature who has only a day ago been my enemy?" She shook her head in disbelief. "Sister, I don't know how else to say this, but I think this idea of yours is terrible."

"As terrible as the choice you've made in partner, that same creature?" Celestia was smirking and smug. "Guard her and keep her from harm. That is all I would ask from you."

Loona smirked back, her grin crooked. "Done, bitch."

"Please refrain from calling her that." Luna let out a huff. "Even if such colorful language comes naturally to you."

Celestia waved a wing. "She doesn't bother me." Turning for the exit, she strode for it as calmly as she had entered. "Keep her safe, trusted guard." With those words, she was gone.

Loona rubbed a hand against her head. "What the fuck was that about?"

Luna turned towards Loona, wings flared. She took the moment of shock to shove her onto the bed. "My sister has given her approval. I feel certain she is scheming something, but this is better than many other scenarios playing in my head."

"Really?" Loona blushed softly. "I didn't think it'd be so easy."

Luna shook her head. "Nothing with my sister is ever easy, but this? This is good, regardless." She went in for nuzzles with her new canine guard. "Being my sister's guard, she will pay you. Do you know how local currency operates?"

Loona sighed aloud at that question. "Nope. Not a fucking clue. I'll figure it out though. I mean, I can just ask her about it later."

"That is a wise idea." Luna sat at the side of the bed. "Still, if you know how money works in general, I imagine it does not change much from place to place. Give coins, get goods and/or services." She gestured at herself with a wing. "I will admit, I have little use for coin myself, but I have been away a very long time."

"Yeah." Loona rubbed the side of her neck. "You're also royalty. I bet most people just give you stuff without asking to see your wallet first."

Luna reached a wing out and brushed it along Loona's back. "Would you ask for payment?"

Loona grinned crookedly. "After that date? Hell no, I'd keep coming back, even if you asked me to pay." She laughed softly at herself. "Okay, that was corny."

Luna swatted Loona lightly. "And indecent. As if I would trade my company for coin." She huffed at that idea. "I am royalty, my dear, not a common whore."

"I didn't say you were," Loona replied. "You'd be a very expensive whore."

Luna blinked. "That isn't better!" She battered at Loona with both wings, but the hound was laughing at the whole thing. "Incorrigible!"

Loona raised her hand in peace. "I'll stop, okay?" She grinned crookedly and leaned in. "Honestly, the fact that we're having a fucking conversation about your sex-work price makes me feel better."

Luna cocked a brow at the idea. "There is no sex-work price to discuss." She gave Loona a final push with a hoof. "You are entirely without shame."

"Now that isn't true." Loona gestured at Luna with a claw. "I have a little bit of shame. Enough to keep myself from asking you for more dates before you're ready."

Luna leaned in closer, bumping her nose to Loona's snout. "That is what you feel shame over? The one thing I would not mind you asking?" She rubbed noses left and right. "A week from today. Until then, you will perform my sister's job, and learn how I compose myself when we're not on a date."

Loona nuzzled Luna back. "Got it. But this means I don't have to worry about money." She looked around them at the room. "I mean, if she's okay with me living in here instead of a place of my own."

Luna inclined an ear. "As my personal guard, you could remain here. Better to keep an eye on me while I am patrolling the dream world." She pointed at her companion's clothes. "Do you have clothing in mind?"

Loona shook her head. "Nah, I don't know anything about armor. We had some, but they were just cheap pieces of metal." She directed a finger at Luna. "Besides, do you get attacked often enough for me to even be worried about that? Some little pony tries to get past me, I'm shivving their ass."

Luna closed her eyes. "Please refrain from stabbing my subjects. At least without a very good reason." She gave Loona a gentle push. "My sister has guards. Ask them for help in this regard."

Loona reached out and ran her hand along Luna's belly. "You two coddle them like they're your babies." She paused. "Which they aren't right? This isn't some kind of creepy bee thing and you two make all the other ponies, right?"

"Not at all." Luna shook her head fiercely. "That isn't a service we provide." She folded her wings up. "Our subjects are our subjects, not our offspring, as distasteful as the notion is." She laughed at the very idea. "You have the most curious ideas, good guard."

"I don't think it's that funny." Loona snorted at the idea. "So what do your guards wear then?"

Luna pointed at the door. "See for yourself."

Loona glanced over her shoulder and spotted one of them. A pony wearing chill night purples, standing at attention. "Yep, metal. I'm not signing up to look like a tin can. I can't move well that way either, and you want me jumping into problems if you're paying me to take this at all seriously."

Author's Note

That meeting could have gone worse, I imagine. He is being set loose though, be wary of that.

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6 - Finding a Place

Loona watched as Luna threw her hooves out in an angry gesture. "I am not asking you to wear tin cans!" The Princess stomped a hoof down at that thought. "You are thinking of the knights of old." She waved a guard inside the room and circled around them. "Look, it barely covers them, and only in places." She poked at the visible parts of the pony. "It is as much for display as anything else."

The guard fidgeted nervously. "Please don't poke that hard, Your Majesty," he mumbled. "Tickles something awful, see."

Loona watched with interest. "Yeah, that's a tin can to me." She reached out and knocked her knuckles against the chest plate. "That's gonna make a lot of noise in any kind of fight, plus she's right, that tickles." She pat the pony on the side of their snout. "Get out of here."

The guard saluted sharply and fled before the two could do more to her.

Luna turned to Loona. "Very well, then what do you suggest your uniform be, so others will know for whom you work for?"

"Maybe something with a little light armor. Something I can still move in, that'll turn asides blows instead of taking the whole impact myself." Loona gestured at her body. "I'm pretty fucking strong but I'd prefer not to walk around with bruises all over my ass."

"Crudely put." Luna put a hoof to her chin. "Alright then. A gambeson, in soft purples. That will be a signal and some protection, my canine guard."

Loona leaned in and nuzzled at Luna. "Thanks for not fighting me on this. And for not letting your sister murder my ass."

Luna laughed into the nuzzle. "It was the least I could do. I can't attempt to court with you should my sister succeed in murdering the creature that I am considering."

Loona huffed at that. "I told you, I'm still kinda figuring it out too."

Luna's lips pursed in a smile. "Then I shall let you do so in peace." She circled Loona. "You seemed comfortable using me as a pillow. Was that merely for the sake of sleep or comfort?"

Loona felt her cheeks darkening some at that question. "Both? Honestly, it was mostly because you were right there, and I got lonely, even if I had someone to sleep beside."

Luna hesitated at that. "That is a feeling we know well. It has been a little less sharp, of late. I won't bore you with my life's specifics, but know that I understand what it is to be alone."

Loona raised an eyebrow at that. "I think I get the gist, Luna, but still. It sounds like there's more to it than that."

Luna flapped her wings once, for emphasis. "I just said I wouldn't bore you."

Loona raised Luna's snout to face her. "I'm not bored. You're talking about your feelings, which means you're comfortable enough around me to do so." She smiled softly. "I'm happy I get to hear any part of it."

Luna let out a low huff. "If you insist." She flicked her tail, a display of stars. "I once was buried in feelings that nopony at all cared for the wonderful nights I crafted for them, that I was the useless sister to my sister's brilliance." She took a slow and heavy breath. "My sister could be rather... dismissive of my efforts. That hurt more than I can say."

Loona nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know what it feels like when you don't feel like your work matters." She rolled her eyes. "Or for your work to just be whatever someone else decides. So, what'd you do?"

Luna leaned into Loona. "It got so bad I started convincing myself that I was hated, that I should drag everypony down with me, even if it hurt them, even if it hurt me. I made quite the mess, and I paid a price for it. Still, my sister never stopped loving me, and she gave me a gift, a true gift. She showed me the art of dream diving, and with it, I connected with the ponies of the kingdom. Aside that, the nights are far more populated these days. I need not spend them alone anymore."

Loona draped her arm about Luna's withers. "I'm glad you aren't alone anymore, but you seem eager for company anyway."

Luna huffed at that. "I was doing fine, and then you came along and tempted me with something more. Company is fine, but courtship? I didn't expect that." She threw off Loona's arm just to turn and face her. "Now, about your father."

As if on cue, an equine whinny of distress sounded from where the guards were standing watch. Blitzo's voice carried well enough to reach them. "Let me see her! I know she's there, you lying pieces of—"

Luna pointed at the door. "What do I do with him?"

Loona buried her face in both hands. "Time to talk. Your sister's not very good at keeping guests still, clearly."

Blitzo stood with his hands on his hips, glaring at the two guards stationed at the door. His tail was lashing back and forth as he glared. He spun around when he heard the door open, and his eyes went wide. "There you are!" He charged right past them to grab Loona by the shoulder. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Loona rolled her eyes and brushed his hand off with hers. "Relax, dad, nothing happened." She gestured down at herself, to prove she was still dressed. "We were just talking."

"Talking? You don't talk with—" He cut himself off, smiled awkwardly at Luna, then pulled Loona a few steps back. "We have to actually finish the mission, damn it all. Now is the worst possible time to be getting laid."

Loona swatted Blitzo's hands off herself again. "Dad, I got a new job, and we're not killing her."

He blinked at that. "A new job?" A momentary pause. "How much does it pay?"

Luna stepped forward, cutting into the conversation. "I do not know if Loona has told you about my sister, but she has seen fit to give her a position as a guard."

Blitzo raised a brow at Luna. "Has she now? Well, la-dee-da! I'm rotting in a jail cell while you're becoming a pillar of the pony community!" He leaned in to whisper harshly to Loona, "Not even slightly fair! Hook your dad up! I want to be a pony guard. I'll rough up whoever looks at 'em funny."

Luna cleared her throat meaningfully, making sure he knew she could hear that. "The job comes with a uniform, so you won't be wearing that. Also, I am not certain what to do with you. You could be sent home."

Blitzo wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Home? What's waiting for me there?" His tail drooped to the ground.

Loona rolled her eyes at his theatrics. "You're being weird, as usual. Fuck, if you want to be Celestia's guard, just ask her. They seem pretty alright with just being asked upfront. Watch. Luna?"

Luna cocked an eyebrow at her companion. "What?"

Loona pointed a hand at Blitzo. "Can we keep him?"

Blitzo sputtered at that. "Hey! I am not some random thing to be kept!"

Luna put a hoof to her chin in thought. "He looks like quite the high-upkeep creature. Are you certain you are responsible enough to have him?"

"Me? Not at all, no. I just want him to stay so he doesn't do something else stupid."

Blitzo's cheeks darkened with rage at that comment. "Hey, I'm your fucking boss!"

Loona prodded him dead center of his chest. "In theory, you're my fucking dad, but I don't see you doing that all that well. You want to hang around and be with ponies, lean into this. Otherwise, why are you wasting both of our times?"

Blitzo bit his lip on a retort. "Okay, fine. I get the point." He threw his hands up. "I'll just go and ask this sister of yours if I can join her little guard detail."

Luna nodded at the two. "Since it was asked, her guards are compensated well for their time, effort, and risk. I am told the pay increases with hazard pay."

Blitzo nodded slowly. "Well, okay then. That's good to know." He looked to his daughter with a grin. "You're gonna get paid, baby girl!" He clapped her over the shoulder. "Maybe hanging around won't be so bad if we get to go home with some bling to show for it."

Loona rolled her eyes at her father's lack of tact. "Still, it might not be too terrible having you around." She looked him over. "You don't need to be in prison for the next couple days."

"Gee, thanks." He flipped her the bird even as he turned for the exit. "Now, time to go talk with the sunny pony. She seems like an agreeable sort. I'll have my spot of honor settled in no time."

Loona watched her father trot off and disappear over the horizon of the palace steps. "I really hope that was the right thing to do."

Luna reached her wing out and wrapped it around Loona. "Let him figure his own place out. My sister knows how to deal with troubling creatures of many varieties. Me, I have just one I intend on." She drew Loona closer. "I shared my past, is it not your turn?"

"Me? Ugh, there's barely anything to talk about. I'm just a hellhound." Loona brushed off that touch, but Luna kept her close with a wing. "Alright, you can't hug worth a shit. Let me do it." She drew the princess against herself, cradling her head against her chest. "Look, I was on the mean streets. We hellhounds don't rate all that high down there. A little orphan, I was waiting out the clock to just be an adult."

Luna nodded along, listening intently. She rubbed her face against that chest, nuzzling in closer. "I see, I see." She let out a breath of contentment. "And then your father came and saved you, yes?"

"Put that in the biggest quotes you got." She made air quotes to be sure of it. "He got me just before I would have graduated out, at seventeen. It was literally just a month before I'd go 18 and just walk out on my own. Still, he was so proud of his 'rescue' that I didn't want to tell him it wasn't really needed." She sighed. "Still, things were okay. I was getting used to being the I.M.P secretary, and then we started getting more jobs, and I had something to do, at least." She narrowed her eyes at the thought. "At least the coworkers seem like nice enough little imps. Hope they're okay, jerks."

Luna laughed. "I see." She closed her eyes. "You were a loner, and you wanted only to live your life undisturbed." She nodded to herself. "Makes sense. I understand that urge, and how difficult it can be when disturbed."

Loona sighed softly. "Yeah, well, I guess I could have it worse." She ruffled a hand through Luna's mane. "Still, you don't have to go out of your way to keep me around." She froze as Luna smooched her on the cheek, bringing heat to her cheeks. "Well, shit. That isn't a bad start."

Luna nuzzled her gently. "This has been a delightful visit. I look forward to the next."

"Huh? It's over?" Loona looked around with some confusion.

"I have royal duties, my dear hellhound. Our dates cannot persist through the entire evening." Luna made a gentle banishing motion with her hooves. "Return tomorrow evening. For now, the evening is yours to do with as you wish."

Loona hesitated as she left. "Thanks, for not being put off by anything I said. Honestly thought that would be a deal-breaker for you."

Luna huffed at that. "I've seen and heard stranger. Don't think of me as some delicate princess that will wilt the moment you look at her oddly."

Loona shrugged. "I don't see any other princesses around here, so that's the only thing I got to judge by, but okay. I'll be back tonight." She waved gently as she left. She nodded at the guards on the way past. "Hey, co-workers." She fired a finger gun at either.

One inclined their head. "Where is your uniform?"

Loona laughed as she stepped into the elevator. "First day. They're ordering one that fits me." The doors slid shut, ending that conversation.

She made her way back to the room she had woken in and flopped back onto the mattress. "Fuck it, this is fine. I'll just sleep here." But she wasn't quite tired yet. She reached for the phone and drew it to her ear. Almost instantly, someone picked up.

"Front desk," sang out a familiar female voice.

"Hey, you again." Loona sat up with a little smile. "Is food service still included? I could use some."

"Of course, dearie!" Twinkleshine laughed softly at the question. "I'll send some right over. The usual, or would you like a menu?"

Loona's ears flicked in surprise. "Yeah, I'd like to have something different than just whatever you guys think looks good."

"I'll send up some snacks and a menu then. Call back when you know what you want for dinner." The call ended with a click.

Loona let out a soft sigh of contentment as she fell backwards onto the mattress. "Twinkleshine isn't so bad." She lifted her head up and looked down at herself. "Well, since I have time." She hopped to her feet and made her way towards the bathroom and the shower therein. She emerged, cleaner, just in time for a soft knocking at the door.

She opened the room door to see a familiar pink-maned unicorn standing there, a cart before her. The unicorn smiled brightly. "Loona! Glad to see you are feeling better." She moved to wheel the cart in, but Loona reached down and lifted the tray. As promised, there were pretzels, chips, and something that reminded her of quesadillas. "Oh dear! I could have managed that myself."

"Thanks." Loona set the tray down and started eating her fill while Twinkleshine wheeled away the empty cart. "Hey, you're a pony of the night."

Twinkleshine paused and glanced over her shoulder. "We aim to please! Oh, the menu is next to you, if you want a proper order later. Just give us a—" The doors of the elevator had closed, cutting off her words.

Loona glanced down at the menu, taking in all the various entries listed there. Many of the names seemed fanciful to her; she didn't know what they meant. Still, they were next to images, so at least she had that. She munched on some pretzels as she placed her finger down on an option at random. "Eh, that works." She reached for the phone and dialed again.

"Front desk. How may I help you?"

Loona laughed at the sound of the voice. "You got down that fast? They don't pay you enough, Twinkle. Anyway, I'll take a number 15?" She glanced at the menu, noting that this was a pasta meal.

"Sure thing! I'll call the kitchen to put it through for you. It should be done in fifteen minutes."

"Nice, nice." She hung up the phone and stretched for the sky. "These ponies are fast when they want to be, and slow when they don't."

Still, that left her with the rest of the evening to herself. "Alright then, what's a hound to do with some time off?" She looked down at herself and realized she was still wearing just her shirt and leggings. "This only matters if I plan to go out. Do I?" She mused over her options. "Could do some dancing? Yeah, that'd be cool." She leaped to her feet and stretched for the ceiling. "That leaves me with about twelve minutes. What else can a hound do in so little time?"

She spied a television and the remote that belonged to it. She threw away those minutes browsing what Equestria had on. She jumped when knocking sounded, her meal arriving. A white pony handed over the tray, along with a soda. Loona took it all and shut herself back into the room. "Pony food tastes better." She shrugged and settled down to finish eating.

The television was still playing, some dramatic slop with ponies showing off all kinds of emotions about overly dramatic situations they found themselves in. Like a soap opera, with ponies.

"Ah, what are you doing?" Loona glanced down at the meal she was eating with a shrug. "I'm busy! I'm having dinner and watching shitty television. What else do you want from me?" She looked around, but there was no one there to hear her words. "Loona, you're talking to yourself. Cut that shit out." She finished her food in a hurry and hopped to her feet. "Let's go dancing. That'll keep my brain from getting bored."

She picked up the phone again and dialed.

"Front desk," Twinkleshine chirped, as if she hadn't been answering it every time.

"Headed out to dance."

"Have fun!" Twinkle sang into the phone. "We'll tidy up your room while you're gone."

Author's Note

Blitzo heard there's money to be had here, among the ponies. Maybe this place isn't entirely awful.

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7 - Rude Welcomes

She heard a flap as she was dancing, barely turning in time for a hoof to come flying at her face. Just barely, she managed to catch it. "What the—?!" Her question trailed off when she saw a pony wearing the dark purples of Luna's guards. They had the wings of a bat though, despite otherwise being a pony.

"You have been recalled by Princess Celestia." The guard tugged their hoof from her grasp. "Your presence is expected immediately. I am sorry for ruining your fun."

Loona kept up her fighting stance. "Cool, cool, is that why you tried to clobber me from behind? Just another friendly night between guards?"

The new pony sighed aloud. "We are meant to test each other's skills. It would not be a test if you knew it was coming." They rolled their shoulders in a shrug. "I'm sure you understand."

"I'm sure that would have hurt if I didn't hear you coming." She slid to the side, avoiding a dancing pony. "Want to take this outside? A bit crowded in here."

"You are correct." The bat-winged pony wheeled on the spot and trotted out of the club. "Follow."

Loona rolled her eyes and followed them out into the streets. "Alright then, you got my attention." She flicked the bird at the pony. "Now you have about a second to apologize before I rearrange your damn face."

The guard drew back a step. "Apologize?" They frowned in thought as they reared up onto their hindlegs and raised their fore into their own, ridiculous from Loona's perspective, fighting stance. "Make me."

Loona surged forward, her fist swinging at the pony. She felt them slip away, moving off to her left. Their wings were in her face, flapping hard enough to create a breeze she had to close her eyes against, which only made it all the easier for the hooves that he threw at her crash into the side of her face, knocking her back.

She spit out the blood where she had bit herself. "Son of a, okay, kid gloves off."

The pony chuckled. "That was barely a shove." Their eyes widened as Loona charged again. A momentary distraction.

Loona lashed out with her leg instead of her hand, kicking them dead center of the face. The pony fell backwards, but that turned into a flip, landing back on their hooves with a low growl. Loona followed through, catching their head in her hands and smashing her knee into the side of their skull, making them yelp in surprise.

The fight was interrupted by a low whistling sound that made Loona pause and glance up. Another pony was letting out the whistles, tufted ears tucked. Her combatant hopped into the air, taking off on those bat-like wings. "Another time." And then they were gone.

Loona rolled her shoulders to relieve the stress she felt. "I was just starting to enjoy myself!" She picked up a rock and chucked it after the pony, missing so widely she chuckled at her aim. With the alley clear, she considered returning to the dance. "Mood's kinda shot." She shrugged and went towards the hotel instead.

As soon as she was inside, Twinkleshine was already there, beaming at her. "Did you enjoy your evening?"

Loona gave Twinkleshine a thumbs up and a smile. "Good enough." Going into details felt like a waste of time. "Heading up to my room."

"You are on the clock now, so you should get your rest." Twinkleshine smiled softly. "Sleep well, Miss Loona."

Loona paused. "You already know about that?"

"That you work for the princesses? Sure do!" She clapped her hooves with a big smile. "You're a guard now, how exciting. Are they ordering special armor for you?"

"Yeah, yeah, something like that." Loona waved the pony off. "Anyway, I'm going to sleep." She entered the elevator and made her way up. "Another fucking evening. Ugh."

She made her way to her room and was ready to crash when she noticed something in the window. Coming closer, it became clear it was a letter, folded and tucked against the outside of the window. She lifted it and unfurled it, reading the words.

 Loona

 Your distracting presence is not appreciated.

 Leave now.

"Like that's gonna happen." Loona crumpled up the note and hurled it across the room. "I didn't get to be this age by folding to every fucker that told me to get lost."

"Yeah, you tell 'em."

Loona whirled around to find her father lounging across the great couch as if he owned it. "What are you doing here?" She glanced back at the letter, then to him. "And why the fuck you gotta sneak around like that?"

Blitzo got to his feet and dusted himself off with a chuckle. "I didn't sneak. I told the pony at the front desk I'm your dad, which I am, and they let me right in." He threw an arm around her shoulder. "How are you enjoying being the princess' personal plaything?"

"Don't call me that." Loona rolled her eyes. "She's nice, actually." She flashed a faint smile. "She actually listens to what I say, unlike some."

Blitzo narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you implying I don't care about you because I don't listen to your bullshit?" He squeezed her shoulders. "That is cold. C'mon, let me hear more."

Loona threw up a hand. "Whatever. Look, did you get dinner already or not?"

Blitzo pointed at a spot where he had left a few empty trays. "The food was great! They can cook down here."

"Yeah, yeah." Loona rolled her eyes and made her way for the phone. "I haven't yet." She plucked up the receiver. "Hey, yeah. Yep, he's here. Yes, he's my dad." She rolled her eyes. "Not much family resemblance, is there? Before you ask, adopted. Ah huh. I'm hungry, so send up some dinner with a drink to chase it, okay? Yeah, thanks."

She set the receiver down with a sigh and turned towards him with a glare. "Don't go around telling people you're my father, okay?"

He shrugged his narrow shoulders. "What's wrong? It's the truth." He fired a finger gun at her. "You want me to start lying to people? What a terrible influence you are, Loona."

Loona didn't seem to hear that. "Just because it's true, doesn't make it right, dad." She rubbed the side of her face in annoyance. "Look, I got work tomorrow."

"At Luna's side, right?" He waggled his brows with far too much extra implications. "Hey, I get it. Ponies are great, and you went right after one of the biggest ones around." He set his hands on his belly, lounging on that couch. "Why I'm trying to get through to that sunny one. Celly-cakes!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not trying to fuck her." Loona flopped onto her side of the bed.

"Really?" Blitzo sounded genuinely surprised by that. "Because you're going into her bedroom alone." He chuckled at the thought. "What are you two talking about in there if not making the moves towards more interesting times and less clothing?"

"It's none of your damn business, dad."

Blitzo shrugged and stretched out fully. "You're right. You're right. It's none of my business." He kicked his feet up. "Don't let her break your heart or nothing."

Loona glared at him and his attempt to almost sound fatherly. "You better not pick at my food. You already ate. Want more, just call the front desk, not like they charge for anything." She waved at the phone.

"Thanks!" he called after her, as she was stepping into the bathroom. He waited for her to close the door before he hefted himself off the bed and stepped towards the phone. "All you can eat and free? This place is way better than the last." He yanked up the phone to his ear.

"Hello," sang a female pony. "Loona? We're still working on yours. Almost done!"

Blitzo glanced back at the bathroom as the water came on. "She's showering. I'll wait. I'm her dad, Blitz. Mind sending something my way too? Starving over here!"

"Oh! Hello, sir. We'd love to. Want another of what she's having?" The voice grew a little louder, as if the pony was leaning in. "You two make an adorable pair! It's always nice to see familial bonds so strong even between different kinds of creatures."

Blitzo chuckled low into the phone. "I can't say it's been easy raising her. Lot of growing pains, but I wouldn't have my life be any other way, not when it means I wouldn't be with my baby girl."

"Aw," she gushed out with a giggle. "That is too adorable! Look, I'm going to send up a little cake. Share it with her and make some lovely memories!"

Blitzo rubbed at the back of his head with a laugh. "Yeah, she'd like that. Thanks!" The phone clicked as he hung up.

***

When food arrived, Blitzo was already back on the couch, watching television with lazy interest. The pony at the door left him with his meal and the promised cake before trotting off with a promise to return later for the trays.

On the way back, Blitzo slid Loona's food over on her bed.

That was when Loona emerged, mildly wet. She looked between herself and the bed. "Did you bring that in?" Her question came out with some surprise.

"I did." He grinned at her, then held up the cake. "Look at that. They gave us this to share and celebrate being a family in pony land. Ain't that fucking sweet as all hell? I'm almost touched."

Loona sat down at her tray of food. "Thanks for the food, dad." She started eating. "This is a nice hotel, but the ponies here are trying too hard, I think." She chuckled, thinking of Twinkleshine. "I swear she's aiming for employee of the decade or something."

"Uh huh. You want some or not? I could eat this on my own how hungry I am." Blitzo waved the cake tauntingly at her.

Loona glanced up from her meal, taking stock of what her father was doing. She reached out and stole a forkful of cake before returning to her own meal. "You're an okay dad, I guess."

"Woah, you feeling okay?" He sliced off some cake to enjoy himself. "Bloody hell! These ponies make damn good sweets." He licked his fork clean with a grin.

Loona rolled her eyes. "No one makes food better than I've had here." She nodded slowly at the thought. "Not even close, in fact. Not a lot of meat options unless you like fish, but what they got, they take pride in."

"Damn straight!" Blitzo cut off another slice of cake and made that disappear as well. "These ponies are alright. Why the fuck did we get called up here to kill them, again?"

Loona glared at him. "You know how this works. They rarely go into details, and we never ask for them. What did they say when we were sent to gank Luna?"

"Something about a crazy old man that kept saying some Luna was going to return and break his machines." He snorted into a laugh. "Can you believe it? These ponies got magic. What do they need machines for?" He snorted out an aborted laugh, stuffing his face with food instead. "Stupid ponies."

Loona chuckled. "Yeah, real stupid, huh? At least they're not assholes about it." She took a chomp out of her food. "And they aren't pissy neighbors. Usually." She thought back to the attempted attack. "Usually." She frowned at the thought.

Blitzo looked up, crumbs on his chin. "What's got you thinking? Something I should know about?"

Loona shrugged. "Don't matter." She shoveled down more of her meal. "Don't wanna talk about that."

"Fair enough." Blitzo continued eating, keeping an eye on his daughter.

Author's Note

They're together again. Yay? Blitzo appears to be enjoying the situation at least.

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9 - Happy New Year

"Loona, there are rumors flying all about Canterlot." Luna stood at her window, gazing out over the land. "I am told you fought a pegasus, and yet you appear unscathed." She turned her head towards her recently arrived guard. "That, and Pinkie found you. I thought being in a different city would be sufficient. She is a wonder in the shape of a pony at times."

Loona chuckled and shrugged. "Don't worry about it." She leaned on a nearby wall. "What should we do for the evening?" She lifted her hand to mime a drink. "We can hit a pub?"

Luna reached with a mental hand to prod Loona. "We will do nothing until you answer me. You fought a guard? How did that end?"

Loona raised her hands to ward off further questions. "It was nothing! Some pegasus and a unicorn thought they could get the jump on me. We didn't even finish, but they figured out pretty fast you didn't hire me just for my looks." She fluttered her lashes with a smirk. "Though, I'm sure that was part of the equation."

Luna chuckled softly, shaking her head. "You do make a cute puppy." A grin spread across her muzzle when Loona snarled at her. "Oh, don't give me that look. I happen to enjoy the parts of you that are adorable and their clash with the rest. Now, tell me one more thing." She tapped her forehooves together. "Do you wish a gift for your welcome festivity?"

Loona's expression fell flat, and she gave Luna a long, slow, look-over. "You want to get me a gift?" She reached up and scratched her cheek thoughtfully. "Don't know if I should turn my boss down when she offers to buy me stuff." She hummed with clear thought on it. "Oh! Do ponies have any good weapons? Like some solid guns or a sweet sword?"

Luna smirked. "I think we can manage something to that effect. You'll have it for your party, but for now I think I shall enjoy a night of rest." She turned towards Loona, winking once. "You've had a busy day, and I have dreams to patrol. We'll both see to our needs. I will rest here." She slid up onto her bed. "And you will ensure nothing bothers me, and get some rest while you're at it."

Loona nodded once. "Sure thing." She leaned against the door and waited there. "Night, princess."

"Goodnight, Loona." Luna settled in and let herself relax, sinking into slumber. It wasn't slumber, not for her. She threw herself into the realm of dreams to begin her night of work for the good of ponies across Equestria.

That left Loona standing there. "Right, so, what do I do with myself all night while she's asleep?" She mused that question to herself, leaning on one leg. "She has a point." She leaned back against a wall. "Maybe I should just chill."

As jobs went, that one was reasonably relaxed, just half-sleeping with some faint sense on the room for movement. Time passed in that calm far into the night and starting into the morning when Luna stirred.

"Mmm?" She sat upright. "Loona, you're still here. You have done your duty." She stretched as she rose to her hooves, stepping down from the bed. "I think I will get something to eat, then go to bed for real."

Loona followed with a pricked ear. "But you were just sleeping."

"It's not the same." Luna shook her head as she stepped from her room past her other guards. "During the night, I am working. I get no rest, for I am very busy. It is not physical, but it is work. Like any work, it is draining. I must sleep like any other pony after a long day of labor. The same as you would, puppy."

Loona rolled her eyes at the name, but chuckled. "I guess I can relate to that. So, what're you getting?"

Luna descended the hallways with experience in navigating. "If I have my timing right, sister should—Ah, there she is."

Ahead of them, Celestia was working on a pancake, with another nearby on a different plate with a smiling face adorned on it in the toppings. She brightened on seeing Luna. "Sister, dear. How was work?" She slid the pancakes over.

Luna took hers with a nod. "Quite busy. There are many ponies in Equestria these days." She levitated the pancake to take a bite. "It still perplexes me that you have time to make me one of these near every day."

"Some things are worth it." She took a bite of her own. "I see your guard is at your side. I try not to play favorites with mine."

Luna nodded. "They're quite good. I have been pleased with Loona's presence. She keeps herself awake and alert all night, even when there seems little to watch for. I have no complaints."

Loona fired a finger gun at Celestia. "How's it going, sun butt?"

Celestia started, wings fluttering. "You are quite impudent. It's a change from the normal." She didn't sound overly annoyed by it. "Has she called you 'moon butt' then?"

Luna smirked. "Once or twice. She's nice to me when I'm on duty."

Celestia chuckled softly. "I am glad to hear that. She needs someone else to talk to aside from myself. She doesn't make friends as easily as I do."

Loona huffed at that. "Hey, shut up. I can make friends just fine." Her defensive burst was poorly hidden, both rulers watching her a moment. "What?"

Celestia held her gaze, then dropped it with a nod. "As you say. But, do not forget. Having someone to speak to is good for the heart."

Loona rolled her eyes, but didn't push the matter.

Luna finished her morning treat in a few big bites. "She has me, for company, just as I have her, for protection. We are both winners in the exchange."

Celestia nodded once. "As it should be." She looked at Loona with an even gaze. "How do you think of Equestria? Has it been kind to you?"

Loona rolled a hand at that. "Except the parts where the guards give me 'tests' to make sure I'm 'worthy' of watching Luna. They have a real jealous streak."

Celestia's eyes went flat. "They do. Don't worry about them. My guards are like that at times, but they are good ponies under it all." She offered a smile. "You are alright?"

"Sure." Loona nodded. "They got their asses kicked, if that helps." She clicked her tongue against her teeth. "If they want to challenge me, they're going to have to up their game."

Celestia chuckled. "I see. Well, I'll be certain they don't try to bother you too much." Her expression turned thoughtful and she glanced off. "Luna, rest well, and know my love travels with you." She blew a little kiss.

Luna nodded, returning the small gesture. "I will." She turned away. "Loona, escort me back to my room. Then, you're free to rest, if you wish. Your work day is complete once we arrive at my room. My other guards can stand guard over the room's entrance."

Loona shrugged her shoulders, remaining at Luna's side until she had seen the ruler into the room. She considered sleeping herself. The night was starting to catch up to her as she made her way back to the hotel room. She drew up short as a pegasus landed in front of her. Her hackles raised, spotting they wore guard's armor.

"Hold your horses," spouted the pony with no awareness of how little they should be using that saying. "I'm not here to start a fight."

Loona glared at them quietly. "Why are you here, then?"

"I wanted to ask." The pony shifted their wings in an awkward shuffle. "Just what did Luna see in you to make her hire you?"

Loona blinked softly. "You know, that's actually a good question." She mused back to how they had met. "Part of me thinks it's because she knows I could have done something awful, but didn't, because I didn't want to hurt her. But I could have, and I think she knows it."

The pegasus nodded along with a quiet hum. "You're a fierce fighter, but she isn't looking for someone to fight battles she could win herself. She wants someone who won't buckle if things turn tough, but who also knows when not to bother fighting."

Loona laughed at that. "Well, working on part of that. If someone starts a fight, I finish it." She curled her fingers in a display of her menacing claws. "But I don't start them, usually. So, you're not one of the guards that wants to try jumping me then?"

"Naw, those are some hotheads from the night shift." The pegasus shrugged their wings. "They were just surprised to hear Luna had hired somecreature else, and a non-pony on top." He chuckled at the thought. "I'd be just as confused if Princess Celestia suddenly hired a griffon to be her personal guard. You're just an unusual choice."

Loona chuckled softly and shrugged. "It's fine. You ponies know jack-shit about my kind, or where I come from, so I get why you'd be nervous." She pointed at the new pony. "So, day guard? If you watch Sun Butt, you're doing a bad job."

"Oh, nah." He waved the thought away. "Day guard, yes, but attendant to Celestia, no." He rolled his eyes at the very thought. "Can you imagine me in her service? I don't have half of what it takes for that. That's work on another level!"

Loona laughed at the thought. "If you ponies think that, I can see why they got upset some new person snatched the job out from under them. Pity Luna seems to like me. Now, I plan to get something to eat, probably in my room." She hiked a thumb at the hotel further down the road. "You want to join me?"

The pegasus shrugged. "Sure thing."

***

Loona returned to the hotel, finding Twinkleshine already at the front desk, watching her every movement. The hellhound returned the look, giving it right back. "I see you too."

Twinkleshine burst into giggles. "Good! I'm ready to help whenever you need anything at all. Just ask, or call from your room. Oh, you have a friend." She waved excitedly at the guard following Loona. "Hi!"

The guard gave a half-hearted wave. "Hi."

Loona rolled her eyes, heading for the elevator. "They're going to eat with me. Is there anything you'd suggest?"

Twinkleshine considered quietly and then nodded. "Oh! Yes! And you have a friend, which is good, because this comes in big servings. Really big! It's a New Year Celebration Float! Comes with sparklers and everything, and I hear it's pretty tasty, mmm."

Loona shrugged and glanced down at the pony following her. "Want to try some weird-ass pony dessert I can't even imagine?" She flashed sharp teeth in a smirk.

"Sounds good." He waved a hoof through the air. "I haven't had any of this yet, so I'll trust you two. You're on the front desk, you'd know what's good."

The two made their way to the elevator and rode it up to Loona's room. "Just checking." She glanced aside at him. "Are you just being friendly, or are you trying to be friendly?"

The guard chuckled once, shaking his head. "The first, I think. I'm not saying no if you're interested, but I was really just coming over to ask about what Luna saw in you."

Loona snorted as she stalked down the hallway towards her door. "Points for being honest, but I didn't think a cute pony would want to get close to a literal hell hound, you know? Luna's got the big and in charge things going for her. What about you?"

The pegasus shrugged as they entered her room. "You seem pretty nice." He sat on the bed with a quiet breath of air. "I don't judge by appearances, or whatever."

Loona smirked and flopped across her couch. "Just a pony with an open mind. Typical male, more like. Any chick's as good as the next, huh?"

He rolled his eyes, but chuckled at the thought. "Nothing that bad." He turned his head to look at her. "So, what are you, anyway? I've never met someone like you."

"I wasn't joking. Hell Hound." He still looked confused. "You don't know what Hell is?" He shook his head. "Figures. Have a seat, and I'll give you the quick run down."

By the time she was done with that story, their food had arrived, carried by Twinkleshine. Loona gave the dish a glance, taking stock of it. She raised her hand in a wave. "Damn, you were not joking. The float was a wild orgy of a celebration. There were several sparklers dangling from it, a twirling ribbon, and even some contraption on the top ticking down towards the new year. "Hot damn. Well, I paid the right price."

Free was a nice number. "Come over here and let's share this monstrosity."

The two dug in, though the guard had to be careful of the candles. "So, you really have met Princess Luna then?"

Loona beamed at the thought. "Of course! I'd be shit at protecting her if I hadn't met her, don't you think?"

"True." He shook his head. "Most guards don't get to serve right by one of the sisters, is all. I've seen Princess Celestia a few times, but I'm usually doing something else." He took a fresh bite of the cold sweet treat. "Mmm, not bad."

Loona nodded along, licking whipped cream from her muzzle. "Yeah, it's alright." She rolled her eyes. "I can make something that puts this to shame."

He smirked slightly, watching the way she was licking at her muzzle. "Is that so?"

She caught his look and gave him a flat stare. "I had to cook for myself most of the time. My dad gets busy, and I ain't a little girl anyway. But what I'm thinking of, the ingredients aren't around here." She danced her fingers. "This ain't Hell."

He shrugged. "So?"

"So it's not Hell. I don't have access to the stuff we use there, okay? Like this." She gestured at the food. "It's sweet, but I'd prefer something spicy." She licked her lips, thinking on it. "But, not awful. A bit over the top, but, whatever. New Years, right?"

He nodded rapidly. "Yeah, it's kind of a big deal! Are there no New Years in Hell?"

Loona rolled her eyes. "Sure, we have things like that, but not with ponies. We do more orgies. Orgies of violence, of shouting, of, well, actual orgies." She counted on her fingers as she went. "We don't hold back, and we don't have sparkly ice cream floats with our friends as a rule."

The pony frowned quietly. "And you don't have friends?"

Loona glanced away. "Well, sorta. More like 'work buddies', right? We work together, and we're not killing each other, usually. Though two of them are trying to axe each other half the time, but that's a love ritual or whatever. They both enjoy it, saps."

The pegasus shook his head quietly. "You know, if I can call you a friend, you're not entirely alone. I'm sure Princess Luna sees you as more than just an attendant too."

Loona reached across to shove the pegasus. "I don't even know your name. Do you know mine? Figure you might have heard it."

He rubbed his arm as he thought. "I don't think I ever did learn it. I wasn't paying attention when I heard you had been picked up, so I didn't catch who was hired, just that somecreature besides a pony had been. I'm Sentry. Flash Sentry. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Loona." She rolled her eyes and settled back to enjoy the treat. "This really is a lot of food. I guess it's nice to have someone else around to share it with."

Flash bobbed his head. "It's at least a two-pony thing." He waved a hoof at the treat. "Maybe three. Not bad though."

Author's Note

Foster old friends, make new ones. Loona has a lovely day, er, night.

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10 - Old-Fashioned

Loona danced to the thrumming music. She was surrounded by people she distantly knew. She couldn't pick them out, but also didn't care as she worked through the evening with a pumped arm and a loud shout.

She did notice when a large pony casually emerged from the crowd. "Luna?! When the hell did you get to, you know, hell?"

Luna raised a hoof to wave in a loose circle. "We aren't in hell, my loyal guard. We are in your dream. Do you mind my presence?"

Loona looked around the club and the other people dancing. "I'm not doing anything worth guarding you for, am I?"

Luna chuckled. "Not quite. I'm here because I want to see your world. This is where you came from. A place of dancing and night. You were so curious to see me." She waved a hoof at the room. "This is me being curious about you."

Loona rubbed behind her head. "Freaky, but sure, yeah? Thanks for being honest about it." She looked around with sharper eyes. "Wow, I remember this place, but there was a rocking bee of a demon right there." Thinking of it, and pointing, conjured her forth to call down to the dancing crowd. "There she is."

Luna looked the demon over, then Loona, and shrugged. "Are all creatures of your world canine? She looks like another of you more than a bee."

"She's relaxing." Loona hiked a thumb up at Beelzebub. "Tick her off and she'll get way more like a bee, and trouble, in an instant."

"Who's your friend?" As if summoned, Beelzebub landed next to them. "Hits me like a classy lady." She winked at Luna. "And I like those when they wander past."

Luna lifted her head with quiet pride, standing tall and upright. "Loona has been in my employ for some time. I am Princess Luna of Equestria, ruler of the night and moon."

Beelzebub snapped her fingers. "A foreign noble? Loona! You've been hiding this on me?" She threw an arm over Loona and drew her close. "Tell me all the deets."

Loona let out a nervous laugh, her eyes still on Luna. "If this is a dream, how real is she?"

Luna shrugged at that. "As real as you wish her to be, and as fake as you want it as well. If she bothers you, make her not be there. She seems quite bold in her approach to things."

"Bold, yeah." Luna looked up at where Beelzebub had returned to watching over the dance instead of being next to Luna. "Not bad at all, but I'm not in the mood to talk to myself." She moved in, grabbing one of Luna's legs. "So, you didn't go invading a dancing dream just to not dance, did you?"

Luna flicked her tail in surprise, but let Loona tug her towards the dance floor. "I suppose I didn't? This is not like what I expected of Hell, though. Where is the pain?" She waved a hoof at the dancers. "They all seem to be having a good time."

"Their pain starts tomorrow morning." Loona swept Luna up off her forehooves and into a bipedal dance with her. "Most of them drank too much, ate too much, and probably partied too hard, all at the same time. They'll regret it for a day or two, then come rushing back for more."

Luna looked them over again. "Ah, so it is the pain of a self-inflicted pleasure, not the torture you made it out to be."

Loona grabbed Luna's other front hoof to dance. "Depends on which ring you're on. This one's Gluttony. If you're not being a dirty little gutton, why are you here?" She touched her nose to Luna's. "A fun little sin, and so very versatile if you think about it."

Luna lifted an eyebrow. "And what does that mean?"

Loona kept her close, their noses together. "It's not just food. It's anything. You can be gluttonous in pleasure, in sleep. Gluttonous dancing with an alien creature? You're trying that right now." She dipped Luna back sharply, going in with her. "Naughty mare."

Luna smirked at Loona and pushed forward. She took control of the dance with a sweep of a leg behind Loona's. She leaned in and nuzzled Loona's throat, teeth nipping flesh.

Loona growled, though her expression twisted into a smile as she shivered. "Damn, mmf, girl. You're getting into this." She moved at Luna's direction for a change as if curious to see where the pony was headed. "Tell me the damned truth. What do you see when you look at me, really?"

Luna chuckled softly, leaning in. "An unusual creature who challenges everything I think I know." Her breath ran along Loona's fur, drawing another soft sound. "And you've been so good to me."

Loona laughed softly, letting Luna lead the dance through the crowd of half-nonspecific dream creatures. "You really think I'm good? Me?"

Luna smirked. "Who knows better what makes you good than a ruler?" Luna's magic tugged at Loona's tail. "You show a genuine interest, in the night, and its ruler. Is it wrong that, perhaps, I like the idea of being a 'dirty glutton' once in a while?"

Loona growled aloud, and it wasn't just a sound of pleasure as she pushed forward. This time, Luna let her take control and spin her around. She drew her hips against the pony's side, then tipped her off balance and down to her back knees. She eagerly bit, returning the grooming along Luna's exposed throat. "I'm a dog, a hound! Aren't you worried, princess, of being seen getting too close to that?"

Luna shook her head slowly. "If I am your ruler, then it is only fair I rule every part of you." She reached back to stroke Loona's cheek with her hoof. "Your culture, even if this is only your idea of it, has little sway over me." She pressed in for a kiss, and the words between them died away in that moment of exchange.

Loona took a breath and leaned in. "Yeah, maybe you aren't wrong about that."

Luna stood and pulled Loona close to her side. "Let's go somewhere else."

The club vanished around them, and they reformed in a quiet field with stars filling the sky.

Luna sank to her haunches, then her belly there on the soft grass. "As fun as that dance was, there were so many, when I only wanted to speak to one of them."

Loona settled onto her ass and crossed her legs as she sat next to Luna. "I do a lot better one-on-one, but it seemed you were doing pretty well yourself."

Luna snorted with laughter. "I do not often 'cut a rug' as they put it." She reached out a hoof across the grass. "I am a creature stuck between two realms."

"How so?" Loona considered that stretched arm, one hand flexing with temptation. "Which two? Noble and commoner?"

"Ha, maybe a bit of that." Luna mused on it. "But more the past, and the present. For me, it was a long boring day. For everypony else, over a thousand moons had come and gone. Generations slipped past me, and I was thrust out into a world that seemed as alien to me as I imagine it did for you when you first came."

Loona nodded slowly at that. Her hand touched Luna's hoof and squeezed softly. "Yeah, I had some culture shock, I guess."

Luna nodded. "I did as well. You see, when I was born, there were no cars!" She snorted at the idea. "Nor lights to allow ponies to do as they wished at any time of the day. The innovations are many, from what seem banal to those who live in it, to those that wonder even them." She drew a long sigh. "I'm still getting used to it all. Does it bother you, working for a living fossil?"

Loona shook her head. "If I'd been afraid of something like that, I wouldn't be working for a pair of princesses who've been alive since forever." She smiled at Luna's quiet laughter. "You're not a fossil, by the way. Those don't change. You do. It hurts because you are." She ran a finger up along Loona's leg. "Step by step, but you're figuring it out."

Luna nodded at that. "Aye. I am changing, as is the world." Her gaze slid over to watch Loona. "I want you to know I'm proud of you."

Loona jerked up, ears pricking. "Proud of me? What the fuck did I do? I mean, thanks, but what'd I do, seriously?"

Luna slid up onto her haunches. "You had a chance for an easy job. You could have already returned home, but instead, you were distracted by another thing entirely."

Loona felt her cheeks heating up. "W-wait. You know what I was there for, in the first place?" She shook her head. "What gave it away?"

Luna glanced off with a thoughtful hum. "My sister and I have always had good intuition about these things. Your father is not very quiet either. If you were trying to be quiet about it, he would have to have gone some time ago." She shuddered to imagine it. "To imagine, that curious device would have ended me, and you would have been paid."

"Yeah." Loona shrugged lamely. "Yeah, that woulda been that. But I couldn't. I still don't want to."

Luna put a hoof to Luna's nose. "Your turn. Tell me why."

Loona considered, but her hands ran out of ideas and she just laughed. "You got me. Fuck it if I know!" She leaned in towards Luna. "Something about you I don't want to see dead." She gave a little growl. "Us dogs prefer to howl at the moon, not fill it with lead."

Luna smiled quietly and reached up to touch Loona's cheek again. "I think you do like me."

Loona rolled her eyes, but let the words pass. "Yeah, well." She swallowed thickly, her large tongue feeling a bit too large at that moment. "A-and what about you? Do you, um, too?"

Luna chuckled and leaned closer with an answer. Her lips brushed Loona's with that word murmured between them, then their kiss came together.

Loona pushed back against Luna, her arms slipping around the alicorn as she pulled her close with a deepening of that kiss, and then the start of a more vigorous dance. Luna's hoof dragged across Loona's side, feeling the curves of the hellhound's form in broad sweeps.

The two fell into the grass and into one another's grasp. Luna got on top, wings flared out. "Quite bold of you. I accept then."

Loona blinked up at Luna. "What do you accept?"

Luna pointed down with a hoof, then back at herself. "You and I are now courting."

Loona stared quietly and slowly sat upright. "Wait. What?"

Luna gave her a quiet nod.

Loona rubbed behind her head and considered that. "You're going to have to tell me what 'courting' entails. Is that like we're girlfriends?"

"Close. A step before." She made a step-back motion with her forehooves. "We are discovering what we like, and do not like, about one another, to find if we wish to enter a proper relationship or not. It is a formal step, more popular among nobles than common-folk." Luna leaned back in with a soft kiss to Loona's cheek. "But, I am allowed to do things like this."

Loona hummed thoughtfully to herself, then chuckled. "Not how it typically works where I come from. You see someone you like, you grab it. You grab them. Feeling extra spicy? That may change what part of them you grab, and you tell them. They either grab you back, shove you away, or swing a punch depending on how they feel about the idea. Either way, everyone's nice and clear."

Luna smiled. "I like mine, though yours does have a certain charm." She leaned in against Loona's chest, her muzzle rubbing along it. "For now, shall we continue to get to know one another?" She rolled an ear back. "Though, I do have a question only a biped could answer, and I would only ask one I am at least courting."

Loona rolled a hand. "Ask?"

Luna tapped her nose against one of Loona's breasts. "Why are yours so high up here? And why so large? Mine are much lower, and smaller. Near invisible, really. But bipeds sometime have them so... grossly apparent, as if they thirst to show them off to the world. Why?"

Loona stared blankly at Luna, then burst into laughter.

Author's Note

Luna is the mistress of dreams, and in one, she gains a courter, and becomes one herself. She is pleased with this development.

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11 - Touching Bases

Luna smiled as she stepped into her sister's room. "I had some time to visit with my guard. It was pleasant."

"I heard you did." She turned with a soft smile. "Was she enjoyable?"

Luna looked ready to answer when something hit her. "It wasn't like that!" She gave Celestia a glare. "Really. We just talked."

"About what?" Celestia didn't turn, though she followed Luna with her eyes when that was an option.

"Things." Luna shrugged. "She doesn't know what it means to be courting. I explained it to her." Her wings settled in a quiet sigh. "I think she's warming up to me."

"So you are courting then." Only a moment of silence followed. "Congratulations. I hadn't expected your choice to be so exotic, but I celebrate it all the same."

Luna rolled her eyes. "You're not bothered that I've picked somecreature else from another world? Someone so different?"

Celestia turned to fully face her sister with a smile. "Oh, if I were you? I wouldn't care what a single other pony thought of who I decided to love, provided they loved me in return. But we are in different situations. Enjoy the freedom you have, sister dear." She chuckled softly, though it was more tired than amused. "I must ask. How does she feel about you? What did she have to say about the idea?"

"She said yes?" Luna shrugged slightly, uncertain of how to put it in words. "She gave every hint that she favors me, as I would hope. We are both strange creatures to one another, physically, but she doesn't mind, and neither do I. I—"

"—am eager to learn more?" Celestia reached out a wing to brush her sister's cheek. "I hope you have fun, and have found a true friend."

"I think I may." Luna smiled and leaned into her sister. "Tell me, how was your time with Twilights?"

Celestia chuckled softly at that. "My Twilight is a very tired pony, and I could tell the moment she arrived." She let out a sigh that was almost a laugh. "Our relationship is nothing like yours. I think she would pass out were I to make a move, and it would be improper were ever I were to do so."

Luna patted Celestia's cheek with a hoof. "If you want my help, just ask. I'd enjoy seeing you get as lucky as I am."

Celestia was wearing one of her difficult to read expressions. "It isn't that easy, sister dear. I am her ruler, her mentor, and practically a god in her eyes. The scales of power are skewed far too heavily, and to even ask is to betray it all, and to take advantage of the lofty position I sit upon. No, that is a thing that cannot be, not if I wish to call myself a good pony." She shook her head. "But it is fine. I have many things in my life to keep me busy and sate my idle desires for companionship. You do not need to worry."

Luna's hoof dropped away as her expression fell into a quiet frown. "That isn't fair."

Celestia barked a single laugh. "If I wanted that, I shouldn't have accepted being her mother in acting when she was a foal. To make a move, now? I would be a very, no. It simply cannot be, and because of my own actions. Besides, as I said, I have others that will hear my idle words, whom I can speak to freely."

Luna shook her head slowly. "You work too hard."

Celestia brushed a hoof against Luna's cheek with a smile. "No more than I always have, or you will."

Luna nodded quietly, then stepped closer to embrace Celestia. "I will guard the night as you do the day, sister, but I know your side is more, hm, what's the word? Frantic. You are always in motion. If I am the moon, and you the sun, then there is a reason I am not so close to the day's activities as you."

Celestia let out a long sigh, relaxing into the embrace. "And yet, the presence of the moon allows that day to happen as we know it." She drew Luna closer. "You have taken quite a shine to your dream walking, and the ponies of the nation celebrate your efforts. They always have, but it seems they are more aware of them now than ever before."

Luna nodded against her sister. "Thank you, Celestia. I'll enjoy my time to myself, knowing you are watching over everything else." She drew in a breath and stepped from the embrace. "I want you to know that I'll always love you."

"Even then?" Celestia brushed a curtain aside, revealing the dawning day. "Sleep, I know you need it. Thank you for visiting. It is always nice to get to spend some time with you, Luna."

Luna smiled quietly. "And I you. See you again soon."

***

Loona blinked as the door opened, then dropped on the new visitor. "Hey." She waved casually as Blitzo wandered in. "What sort of trouble are you up to? You make the ponies hate you yet?"

Blitzo let out a groan. "They all fucking love me." He crossed his arms behind his head as he flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "The food is good, and they've got all kinds of drinks here." He shrugged lightly. "Less strength than usual, but whatever, they're ponies. You drink more, all fucking good."

Loona chuckled softly and rolled onto her back, hands under her head. "So, what've you been up to? Anything good?" She perked an ear when he sat next to her. "This a good or a bad sign? Should I already be worried?"

"What? A dad can't sit next to his damned girl these days?" Despite her glare, he rubbed her belly, and she tolerated it for the moment. "Look, you know we have to go back, right? They're probably losing their little minds wondering where we are, and the office bills ain't getting paid without us around."

Loona snorted. "What? You worried about what they're thinking?" She smirked. "I think you've gone soft on them, haven't you? Come on, admit it."

He trapped her snout in a grab, just to almost get bitten for it. "You're deflecting. Got the hots for the target? Classic. We fucked up the mission, but that means we have to get to the next one even harder."

Loona growled, then rolled her eyes. "Yeah, fine. I've got it for the princess." She waved a hand through the air. "But whatever." She pointed at him. "I'm adult, Dad. You can't make me do a damn thing."

"I'm just trying to get you fucking home, Loona. Don't you miss them? I know they miss you." He shrugged lightly. "Obviously don't miss me, I'm right the fuck here."

Loona snorted. "You say that like you care. It doesn't matter if you were here or there. You just aren't the type they could miss, no matter how much they like you, and you know it."

"Ouch, my bloody heart." He clutched at his chest. "Now that ain't true. Millie and Moxie love the shit out of me."

"Mmhm." Loona rolled her eyes, but chuckled along with him. "So, why are you in here?"

He sighed and shrugged, his expression turning serious for once. "I'm just saying you gotta get your head clear, Loona. We both have to get going, as fun as this place is. If I go back without you, then you got no fucking way to go back later. You're stuck here. Are you ready for that? Do you want to live in a world with no internet, and no pizza, and no one of our kind, ever? Do you want to be alone when you aren't with Princess Ass-for-head?"

She growled at his flattering label for her. "Look, shit, you can't just storm in here and dump that all over my head like it's nothing!" She threw up both hands. "This is just like you, with everything going according to your clock! I'm not ready to go, okay?"

Blitzo stood and bowed his head quietly. "I know I didn't make this decision lightly, but I know we have to leave soon, because the longer we wait, the harder it is to go." He held up a finger. "Go talk to your fling. You don't have to go without telling her if you'd rather or whatever, but figure it out, because we're going. You have two days."

Loona watched Blitzo stalk out, leaving the room empty behind him.

She waited only a few moments before dropping her face onto the bed with a groan. "Damn it all." She curled, tail curling in with her and ears wilted. "There goes my day."

***

"Come along, darling." Rarity motioned for Sweetie Belle to follow her, smiling as she watched the way the filly scampered after her. "Now then, what is it you'd like to ask me about?"

"What's that?" She pointed to a strange creature being tossed out of a store. "I've seen many curious creatures, but never one like that. Do you recognize it?"

"Can't say I do." Rarity shook her head slowly. "Perhaps not. It looks like a very strange creature from an old book, but I'm quite certain those were entirely fictional. One could almost compare them to goblins, though, were the story true, dear."

Sweetie's eyes widened. "Oh! I never saw a real goblin before." She watched Blitzo curiously as she followed along behind Rarity, her attention drifting from her sister and to him.

"And he's far more rude than any goblin I know," Rarity said with an indignant snort. "He was a regular nuisance in the store. Poor Sassy almost lost her nerve dealing with him. Still, at least he did purchase something in the end. I suppose it could have been worse, but if he had spent more time, then..." Rarity gave a shudder at the idea. "What's this?" Rarity came to a halt when she spotted Loona emerging from the hotel, making her way to Blitzo. "A Diamond Dog? This one seems less, hm, chunky than the ones I had to deal with."

Sweetie glanced over. "I heard about those ones from you before. They didn't seem to like any pony, or any gem that wasn't theirs. Do you think this dog is going to try to do anything like that?"

Rarity brought a hoof to her chin. "I would hope not. The ones I ran into were far more skulking. This one's just out and about, darling."

Loona stepped closer towards Blitzo. "Hey."

He rolled his eyes, but gave her his attention anyway.

Rarity waved a hoof. "Silly little Diamond Dogs, they're really quite harmless in the end." She leaned in a little. "But this one's talking with that goblin. Very curious, dear. I was quite certain our old books were clear they don't get on very well." She held up a hoof. "Then again, do keep in mind I'm not an expert in either species, darling, so it's hard to say."

Sweetie made a note in a floating notebook. "Very fascinating! Sister, may I ask them a question?"

Rarity sweet Sweetie closer. "Darling! I don't want you getting hurt."

"Sis! They're not hurting anypony." She pouted at the denial. "Besides, it's not very friendly to not even say hello. I want to talk to them."

Rarity sighed at that. "If you think it's best, but do be cautious."

Sweetie beamed and rushed off to where Loona was. "Hi!"

Loona jumped away, Blitzo grabbing his sword at the ready, but the little filly barely noticed. "I'm Sweetie Belle." She pointed to herself. "Who are you two?"

Loona glanced at the way Blitzo was glancing around for trouble and then back. "You're not scared of us?"

"You don't look scary." Sweetie shrugged. "I'm a unicorn! Are you a diamond dog?" She looked to Blitzo. "And a goblin?"

"Can we fucking help you?" Blitzo sighed, butting Loona aside. "What do you want? You're looking to pick a fight by how it seems."

Loona grabbed Blitzo by the head and shoved him right back. "The little pony just wants to know what we are, Dad." She crouched closer to Sweetie's level. "Hey kiddo. I'm a hell hound, which doesn't mean much around here, but it's what I am." She hiked a thumb at Blitzo. "And that's an imp. From the same place."

Sweetie nodded, writing a few more notes down before looking up again. "Oh! And where did you come from?"

"Hell."

Sweetie giggled into a hand at the answer. "That's silly, of course you didn't! I was asking seriously, though. Is it a faraway place? Are you a royal, like the Princesses?" She danced in place with obvious excitement. "It's nice to meet you."

Loona ruffled Sweetie's well-managed locks. "Yeah, same. Your mom's looking nervous at us."

"That isn't my mom." Sweetie giggled as she pointed to Rarity. "That's my big sister!"

"Oh, so you're not an only?" Loona glanced over to Blitzo. "So, that's what it's like to have a sibling. Cute. I wonder what that'd be like."

Blitzo rolled his eyes at the thought. "I'm not adopting again just for you to find out. You'll live without a little sister." He pointed to the pony. "Good thing for you, you're even cuter than normal." He couldn't resist getting a pet in on the filly, which wasn't resisted. "God damn it all, the ponies around here are so fucking trusting."

Loona smirked. "Yeah, you'd think they'd be more cautious." Her attention returned to Sweetie. "Hey kid, do you know Princess Luna?"

"Everyone knows Princess Luna." Sweetie hugged herself, eyes shining with thoughts of the night ruler. "She visits and protects dreams of everypony! And she's really really nice and beautiful!"

Blitzo let out a groan as he rolled his eyes. "Gross, you got a crush on her."

"No, I don't." Sweetie shook her head, though her cheeks did flush a bit at the implication. "I don't have a special somepony."

Rarity casually swept Sweetie behind one of her legs with a nervous laugh. "So very sorry if she's bothering you two at all. Do you mind if we go on about our way? We were just going to do some shopping today."

"No trouble." Blitzo waved the question off with a scoff. "Your kid ain't doing nothing wrong by asking questions."

Author's Note

Most trips have an ending date, Loona.

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