Pinkie Pie's Jazz Club

A request by Flutterpriest:

The Wonderbolts team has to make budget cuts. Spitfire didn't know they had a budget and audits the members for their company purchases. Turns out they don't know how a company card works and bought some... things..

“You will stand at attention, wonderbolt!” Spitfire bellowed, red in the face with the sheer force of her rage. Though a certain tough love was part of her leadership style, her state at that moment was above and beyond. “And you will remain at attention until I’m done yelling at you, or so help me Celestia I will shove my hoof so far up your ass you’ll taste my horseshoes!”

She screamed the instruction directly into Soarin’s left ear, so loud she left it ringing -- but he snapped sharply to attention, and every other pony in line likewise stiffened. Though many ponies had had their expense reports questioned, only three of the wonderbolts had the particular honor to be summoned to Spitfire’s office: Soarin, Fleetfoot, and Rainbow Dash.

“Soarin,” Spitfire slapped the expense reports on her desk with one hoof, and shoved a second hoof hard under Soarin’s chin. “You will explain to me why it appears you put mortgage payments on a house on your government credit card!”

Soarin let out a faint whine, and struggled to speak with the upwards pressure on his jaw: “You said I could live off base if I wanted.”

“But I didn’t say the government was going to pay for it, now did I!?” Spitfire snarled. “I don’t give a flying feather what you do on your private time, Wonderbolt, but when you shit yourself don’t expect mommy Celestia to come in and clean up the mess. Am I understood!?”

“Sir, yes sir!” Soarin yelped, withering under the intensity of her gaze.

“And you, Fleetfoot!” She moved down the line. “Nearly twenty thousand bits of payments to, ‘Shady’s Joe’s Totally Legitimate Industries LLC.’”

“I’m sorry, sir!” Fleetfoot whined. “I got hooked on the white stuff. I need that rush.”

“Sugar is available in the commissary.”

“But I don’t like to share.”

Spitfire snarled: “And I don’t like that I’m saddled with your stupidity! But here we are? Using your government credit card with a sugar dealer. I’m going to bust you down to private so fast you’ll leave a crater when you hit the ground!”

She rounded on Rainbow Dash last of all, stabbing an accusatory hoof at the reports: “Seven-thousand bits at ‘Lady Rarity’s House of Virtue’?”

Rainbow Dash blushed, a red heat under her cheeks as she tried not to stare at the floor. “I have trouble focusing on shows if I can’t… you know. I need company.”

“And what?” Spitfire snarled. “The two-hundred bits base package wasn’t good enough? You had to spend seven thousand bits of the taxpayers money on the Ultra-Deluxe Suite?”

“Wait,” Fleetfoot said. “How do you know the prices of the different packages at the House of Virtue by memory?”

There was a pause.

“I’ve decided to let you all off with a warning.”