The OCs of Canterlot

by Sunny

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe, Romance, Drama, Original Character, Queen Chrysalis, Shining Armor
Length: 2043

What if Queen Chrysalis and Shining Armor were not the same person?

What if Queen Chrysalis and Shining Armor were not the same person?

Not quite a retelling of the Canterlot wedding, pre-read by several brilliant authors who were focused on laughing instead of on making the story better. They know who they are.

A commission for Bandy, Pen and Paper, and ordinary pony Horizon

Published 2024-09-13 05:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-09-13 05:10:00 UTC

Chapter 1

Ever since Shining Armor had become Shining Armor, he had always felt subtly wrong. Something about his body just didn’t quite…fit. Like his clothes, often, but that was just ‘getting older’. The other stuff? Whenever he brought it up, he was assured by his parents that everything was fine, just fine. He was their ‘big strong colt’, ‘Twilight Sparkle’s Big Brother Best Friend Forever’, and he definitely hadn’t actually been teleported to another dimension as a small child and replaced with somepony else.

As a younger colt, it was enough. He was a fine and strapping young lad, and while his grades were not perfect, combined with his kind and caring personality, it was enough. Shining was always there and ready to help.

Chapter 4

Bandy’s OC liked to complain about the irritating burdens they were under, because they were part of a secret organization dedicated to protecting Princess Celestia and they were not allowed to tell Shining Armor any real details, but that was okay with him. He was there to support Bandy’s OC, no matter what they did or didn’t do, whether it was sky chariot rides, spell-slinging duels, or making the best sandwiches in Canterlot for the orphanage fundraiser.

But most of all, there was the clop.

Every makeout session inevitably ended in heavy clopping. It was the cloppiest of clop, and the sounds of passionate clopping could be heard for miles around. Even Princess Celestia took notice of their clopping.

They would kiss, and then it was off to the races. Sometimes for hours, and admittedly, their grades would have suffered but for the silver tongue of Bandy’s OC, and Shining Armor’s general adorable himboness convincing every teacher to give them a second chance. Also, Bandy’s OC had money. Lots of money. Nopony thought to question why all their teachers suddenly bought shining new penthouses in downtown Canterlot.

Shining was happy.

Chapter 5

All should have been well. Shining knew he should have ignored that subtle dissonance. He should have accepted a relationship that made him happy.

But he also found himself wandering the streets sometimes. He didn’t know what he was seeking - until one day he found himself cornered in an alley by a mysterious orange pony.

“Hello,” the pony said. “My name is horizon, and I am totally NOT a Changeling. Also, your entire life is a lie. How do you think I knew you would be here, at night, in this exact place?”

“...You were spying on me?” guessed Shining Armor, who after all had read a great many detective novels. It seemed the likeliest explanation.

“No!” said Horizon. “Come with me and I will show you. You will finally understand what is missing from your life. I promise.”

“No thank you,” said Shining Armor. “I am perfectly happy with Bandy’s OC. They make me perfectly happy.”

And he turned around and left.

Chapter 13

“Oh, Bandy’s OC!” said Racer fondly. “Of course you were! Now that I remember that my last mission went horribly wrong and when I used my time travel ability to go back in time three seconds and remove all damage, I unknowingly found myself above a transformative time vortex that caused me to appear as a tiny colt on Twilight Velvet’s doorstep where she took me in! Also, I wasn’t transported to another dimension and replaced with somepony else, Twilight Velvet was right!”

“That is correct,” said ordinary pony horizon. “And we’ve been watching you ever since to see if it was time for you to become Racer again.”

“But I also kind of like being Shining Armor…” Racer’s face fell, her muzzle contorting into a pout so adorable it caused Horizon to faint. Bandy’s OC was made of sterner stuff, and remained conscious.

Together, they stared at the fainted non-Changeling and waited for him to regain consciousness.

Chapter 15

“Yes to both,” said Bandy’s OC. “Whether you are Shining Armor or Racer, all your powers are yours at any time. Forever. And you are Racer forever too and stuff. Because regardless of being a stallion or a mare you are a little taller and sexier than I am and I find that so hot. Now let’s kiss and then go enjoy some really steamy clop.”

"Let me think about it," said Racer.

Chapter 2

In high school, things began to change, because he met the most gorgeous pony of all - Bandy’s OC. Bandy’s OC was a paragon of Ponykind - nearly as tall as Shining Armor, nearly as sexy, but something about Shining’s kind himbo personality got all the mares flocking his way (And a bunch of the stallions, too, but he was too oblivious to notice.) Bandy’s OC got plenty of flank too. But Shining Armor got more. Or would have.

But he didn’t notice.

Chapter 3

Each day that Celestia raised the sun anew, there was Bandy’s OC. That wonderful, wonderful pony that set his heart afire. They stole kisses in fleeting moments, like when the teachers were not looking, in the halls between classes, or under the bleachers after gym (Shining Armor would NEVER skip physical education), and each of these passionate moments set Shining’s heart afire.

There was nothing he wanted to do more than make Bandy’s OC deliriously happy. Bandy’s OC had a muzzle that had to have been sculpted by Marechelangelo herself, and the fluffiest, softest mane, and being a 9.99999 to Shining Armor’s 10…they were a match made in heaven.

Shining Armor was sure it would last forever.

Chapter 6

But he was back to wandering two weeks later, and this time…

“Come with me and I will show you! Please!” said horizon, who was totally NOT a Changeling.

“...Fine,” said Shining Armor. “But this better not be a weird sex thing.”

“I promise you it will not become a weird sex thing!” said Horizon.

Against his better judgment, Shining Armor agreed.

It turned out horizon was telling the truth. It didn’t become a weird sex thing. It was a perfectly normal sex thing, with all kinds of sweaty and steamy heavy clop. At times, Shining Armor could swear that Bandy’s OC was there, out of the corner of his eye, but no, it was just ordinary pony and totally NOT a Changeling Horizon.

Chapter 7

Three days later, when they were done with the clopping, horizon said, “Oh yes, I am sorry for getting distracted. Here is what I wanted to show you.” They reached beneath the bed and tugged. Out came a gleaming golden chest that was not ripped off from Mareio and then the normal pony who was NOT a Changeling opened it.

Within sat two mysterious objects made out of a material Shining would swear he had never seen before, and yet…they called to him. What seemed to be the upper side was white, the lower black, and some sort of orange clip connected to the white portion of the object.

Instinctively Shining reached out with his magic and withdrew both objects. As soon as his field touched them, they began to hum, absorbing his magic and glowing with cascading lines of blue energy.

“Wow, these are cool.”

Chapter 8

“You recognize them, don’t you?” said Horizon. “You recognize them because they were yours. Are yours. And will be again. If you want. But once I say what I have to say, there is no going back. Well, no going back without erasing your memory, which is surprisingly easy. Nonetheless, do you wish to know?”

“Yes,” said Shining Armor. “I have always felt something in my life is wrong. There are many things I love - my family, my life, my little sister, and especially Bandy’s OC, who I have not cheated on-”

“Yes you have,” horizon helpfully disagreed.

“Definitely not cheated on,” Shining Armor repeated, “But something about me has always felt wrong.”

Shining Armor paused.

“I want to know why.”

Chapter 9

“It’s because your real name isn’t Shining Armor,” Horizon said. “It is Racer, and you are not from this timeline. Sorta. Moving on! I do not expect you will believe me, so drink this potion. It will restore your memory and your body and all will be well. Or you can not drink the potion, and I can hit you with a memory erasing spell. Again. But please drink the potion, this is the 37th time we have done this already because you keep backing out. I’m actually getting worried about what this is doing to your brain. It can’t be healthy.”

Shining Armor considered this for several seconds. “Well,” he said, “You know what they say, 37th time’s the charm.”

And he popped the cork and drank the potion right down.

Chapter 10

Instantly, Shining Armor levitated into the air. Magic surged out of every orifice, and an ever-brightening glow filled the air. Dramatic music filled the area, building towards an oncoming crescendo.

“Wow,” said Bandy’s OC. “This is just like all those times we snuck off to kiss and then clop really really hard.”

When the glow began to subside, Shining Armor had changed. The blue mane had become a big, spiky brown mane. They had on orange goggles, a sleek black and yellow outfit, sneakers on their rear hooves, and the mysterious objects within the chest floated in front of them, suspended within their unicorn magic.

Oh, and also, the powerful bulk of Shining Armor’s stallion body had become that of a slightly svelter, but no less amazingly beautiful, incredibly hot mare.

Chapter 11

“My name IS Racer!” Racer said with satisfaction. Then she frowned a little. “I remember everything!”

“That’s great!” said horizon, who was standing next to Bandy’s OC.

“Bandy’s OC!” explained Racer with sudden horror. “Oh no! I can explain! I promise I wasn’t cheating on you!”

Everything was ruined!

Chapter 12

“I know,” said Bandy’s OC. “You and I and Horizon are part of a polycule. And we’re all secret agent ponies working for Overhoof, Celestia’s super secret ultra secret omega secret unit of highly talented ponies who protect Equestria. I was there the whole time, darling! There’s nothing to be sorry for!”

Everything was okay again!

Chapter 14

Five seconds later, they were bored.

“That’s fine, bae~” Bandy’s OC replied confidently. “We have like, 5 gajillion doses of the special potion we made to turn you back and forth. Now that your memories are back, you can be Shining Armor whenever you want. I love you just as much either way!”

“I do too!” said horizon, who had regained consciousness at a narratively convenient time.

“Will I still be able to use my awesome laser pistols and travel back in time three seconds to prevent all damage?” Racer wondered. “Without my powers, am I really still Racer?”

Chapter 16

"Okay, I've decided! Let's clop!" said Racer excitedly.

And that is exactly what they did for the rest of their lives, except when they were fighting monsters or saving orphans or otherwise rescuing Equestria from peril.

And so Bandy’s OC, Horizon, and Racer / Shining Armor lived happily ever after.

Chapter 17

“Wait, whatever happened to me?!” Cadance wondered as she shattered the fourth wall, only to find herself face to face with Chrysalis.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be your Shining Armor anytime!” Chrysalis said in her weird but alluring voice.

“Let me think about it,” said Cadance

Chapter 18

“That works! Let’s go clop together!” Cadance replied one second later.

And that is exactly what THEY did for the rest of their lives, except when they were attending political events or fighting off apocalyptic threats and otherwise rescuing Equestria from peril.

Chapter 19

And so all five of them lived happily ever after.

The End…?

Author's Note

This story is a commission for horizon, Bandy, and Pen and Paper!

If you are confused, start with reading The Queen of Canterlot.

Then (or if you don't care about spoilers) start reading from this comment and maybe it will make sense.

And if it doesn't, well, life is weird sometimes. Just remember, Racer is a little taller and sexier than Bandy's OC.

A CHWR production!