A Cluttered Mess

“Bacaw!” I screech seeing two large eyes almost touching mine. pulling my head back to see who had awoken me, what the- oh it’s just Pinkie.

“You ready for the most awesomest baking session ever!?” Pinkie said still not moving away.

Spook woke up annoyed from all the ruckus and said “caw, cacaw!” Why do I feel like those were bird swears.

“Yeah just give us a minute,” I say to Pinkie. Finally relaxing Spook and I begin checking our feathers, looking under my wing I spot a bent feather I pluck it out, ow apparently it wasn’t as loose as it looked. Pinkie has a look of confusion on her face, “what?” I ask tilting my head.

“What are you two doing?” Pinkie said rubbing her head.

I straighten my tail feathers while talking, “Preening.”

“Okie -“ dashing out of the room at blazing speeds she calls out “- meet me in the kitchen.”

How in tartarus does she do that? I spend extra time puffing out my plumage and then fixing my wing feathers. Ugh why am I spending so long on this?

You gotta look your best.

For who? And why? I couldn’t come up with an answer to this until I looked in the mirror and saw who I was doing it for, oh. But why am I doing this?

Before I could think further Spook pecked me on the head and held a wing to the door, “caw.”

“Right, sorry,” I say finally heading downstairs for my first and probably last baking lesson.

“”Hiya Clutter,” Pinkie called from the kitchen

“Hi Pink-“ Walking into the kitchen I was hit with the sight of the mess I had made yesterday, “- ie, oh boy.”

After putting an apron on me and a small chefs hat on Spook she get right to work, “Clutter, you can get the flour, and Spook can get the sugar.”

“Caw,” Spook said with a wing salute.

“Flour, got it,” I spot a labeled flour cabinet so I open it only to see several shelves of different kinds of flour, why are there so many?! So I ask, “umm, which one?”

Pinkie face-hooves and says, “oh right silly me, it’s cake flour.”

That actually makes more sense then I expected. Looking around the cabinet I spot the cake flour on the very top shelf. Getting up on my hind legs to reach the flour wobbling I try to grab onto the shelf, only for my claws to grab a bag of flour instead; landing on my rump I look up to see a flour bag slowly tip over and fall directly on my face.

Spook fell over and started laughing while Pinkie walked over helping me up, “bwahaha that was amazing! but you’re okay right?”

“Besides ruining the flour I’m fine, -” I pull the bag off my head and try to avoiding her gaze, “- sorry.”

Waving a hoof Pinkie says, “oh it’s no biggie, let’s get you cleaned up first!”

“I got it,” I say, lifting my wings I shake myself off like a wet dog; all this accomplished was turning Pinkies face entirely white. oh feathers, “bawk! I’m so sorry!” I backpedal myself into the cabinet dislodging another bag of flour onto my head.

Pinkie and Spook start rolling on the floor laughing. I cover my face attempting to hide a painfully obvious blush, why me?

While I cleaned my face Pinkie decided to get the ingredients out herself, that was probably for the best. “Okie dokie we’re out of blueberry, so let’s do cherry instead! first, you’re gonna get a bowl then mix half a cup of butter, two cups of flour, and one and a half cups of sugar together,” she says turning around to work on her own batch.

“Butter, flour, sugar, mix,” I could see that Pinkie had put labels on almost everything in the room. That was probably for the best as I didn’t know half of this stuff existed, “wheres the sugar?”

Spook held up a small bag, “caw.”

“Oh, thanks,” grabbing the rest of the ingredients I measure them out the best I could before mixing them in the bowl. Looking behind me it seemed like Pinkies almost done, “what's next, Pinkie?”

Without turning around she said, “eggs, vanilla extract and cherry juice, oh and don’t forget to mix it up real good! Then pour it in the cupcake cups.”

Cracking open an egg some of it got on the counter so I looked around and licked it up. Opening up the bottle of vanilla it smelled divine; it does not taste as good as it smells. Tasting it made my face scrunch up.

Suddenly Pinkie appeared behind me, “they got you too didn’t they? Don’t worry they got me too, I thought: hey vanilla tastes super duper yummy, this smells yummy so it must be tasty as well. Don’t feel bad about it we all fall for it at least once,” she said ruffling my mane.

That didn’t make a lick of sense but it felt oddly comforting, “thanks,” I said nuzzling my head into her hoof to try and savor the moment; sadly she had to go back to her batch of cupcakes. Ok cherry juice cherry juice cherry, where is it? Seeing a bowl of cherries I turn to Spook and say, “close enough?”

“Caw.”

“Good,” I say crushing a handful of the cherries and dumping into the bowl. Giving a cherry to Spook I pour the batter into the cups then hand them over to Pinkie who puts them into the oven.

“Okie now we wait about an hour or two! wanna do anything while we wait?” Pinkie asks.

“I do have something, in mind.”

Pinkie had gotten out a few coloring sheets for us to color in but I just drew on the backside instead. Pinkie was coloring in a crudely drawn pony while I was drawing another monster and Spook was taking a nap in my mane. looking at my paper she asks, “So, whatcha drawing?”

“A kelpie,” I answer.

“Ooo never heard of a kelpie sounds scary, tell me about it!”

I drop my pencil and blankly stare at her, she actually wants to hear about this!? Befuddled I simply ask, “you want, to know?”

With Pinkies affirmative nods my eyes widen and I crack a large grin, “well a kelpie is sorta like a seapony but they have the bottom half of a sea serpent instead of a fish, they’re also shapeshifters so they can turn into normal ponies to lure them into the water! I think they can do other creatures as well but I’m not sure, oh and also -“ I make a swirling gesture with a claw and my eyes form black and white spirals, “- they can hypnotize anybird they come across!“ looking up I see that Pinkies eyes were swirling in sync mine, wait how did I do that?

Shaking the swirls out of her eyes Pinkie acted like nothing happened and said, “wowie! You must really really love these kelpies cause I’ve never heard you talk so much before!”

I scratch the back of my neck, “sorry, I like monsters.”

“Oh it’s fine I love hearing ponies talk about stuff they love! Like my sister is really into,“ a bell rang out interrupting Pinkies rambling, “oh I think I know who that is, be right back,” giving us a wink before dashing off.

“Coo?” Spook says tilting his head at Pinkies departure.

I shake my head, “no idea.”

Getting up I hear Pinkie tell somebird to come into the kitchen, I wonder who it is?. I see two strange ponies I didn’t know come into the room; one is quite tall for a pony and has a little bit of fuzz on their chin and the other is well, I don’t want to be rude but wow she’s chubby! It was strange usually I’d be scared by these kinds of situations but the weight of Spook on my head helped me relax so I simply starred at the ponies with curiosity.

I freeze up as the taller one says, “gah! Uh Pinkie why is that thing in our kitchen?” Being called a “thing” kinda stung.

“Well first of all her name is Crystal Clutter and she’s goin to be staying with us! how exciting is that!” Pinkie says. Her? So they do think I’m a girl. I’ll have to tell them eventually… maybe later.

The two ponies just seemed even more confused so Pinkie continued, “well I found her eating a whole bunch of your cupcakes so I took her to my room to try and sort things out. I asked her where her parents were but it turns out she doesn’t have any; Isn’t that just awful!? Anyway I came up with an idea: why don’t I just take her in? Anyways, Clutter this is Mr and Mrs Cake Say hi!”

Still starring uncomfortably at the two I raise a claw and slowly wave it; sensing the discomfort I was in Spook sat up and started glaring daggers at the Cakes, not gonna do anything, but thanks.

Mrs Cake decided to step in, “Pinkie are you sure about this? While that’s a very noble goal; it’s gonna be a difficult task that might take a lot out of you. I’m not saying that you can’t I’m just a little… worried is all. Don’t you want uhm, Crystal to be raised correctly right?”

Pinkie gasped a little, “of course I do, why wouldn’t I?!”

“Well you’ll need to take on a lot of responsibility and not to mention there’s a lot of paperwork involved with adopting a filly; much less a non-pony from who knows where. With our foals coming soon we won’t be able to help you much, understand.”

“Psshh don’t worry I got it, -“ Pinkie put a hoof to her chin “- hmmmm, paperwork you say? Oh! Twilight’s good with paperwork maybe she’ll help! Come on Clutter!” Pinkie scooped me up onto her back and dashed off making Spook fall off my head.

“Caw!” Spook cries out flapping after us.

“You two Spook,” Pinkie says grabbing the bird and handing him to me.

Riding on Pinkies back is a very bouncy experience so I cling onto her neck as Spook does the same to mine, “aren’t the cupcakes going to burn?”

“Oh no worry about that I left a note in case we had to leave,” she says hoping down the road.

Everybird we passed stopped and looked at me they all seemed mildly confused and disturbed by me; I hugged Pinkies neck tighter.

we soon arrive at twilight’s place that I recognized was the tree I had met Pinkie under. Apparently the tree also doubled as a library and a home for Twilight and Spike, spike? Odd name for a pony. Trotting through the door Pinkie put me down and went up to Twilight who was drinking from a mug saying, “hi Twi!”

Twilight spit out a brown liquid saying, “gah Pinkie I thought I told you to knock!”

“Oh I’m so sorry Twi I guess I was in such a rush that I completely forgot, but I have a favor to ask of you.”

“It’s alright Pinkie, now what did you nee-“ Twilight turns around and pauses, “- oh hi… uh what was it?” She says sheepishly.

“Clutter and this is Spook,” I say holding him out.

“Oh of course haha, how could I forget… umm anyway how’s it going Pinkie?”

I started zoning out a bit; tapping my claws on the wooden floor and barely listening to the conversation going on. I tried to listen but none of the catching up interested me so I stared reading the titles of books I could see. Guide to common equestrian diseases, everything you need to know about modern medicine, wow this stuff is boring. hearing Twilight ask about why Pinkie was here was what got me back into the conversation.

“So why did you come here anyway?” Twilight asked.

“Oh right I was wondering if you got any adoption papers?” Says Pinkie

Twilight tilts her head, “adoption papers? No, but I could probably get some soon. Hey Spike can you bring me my to-do list!”

“Sure thing, just give me a second!” calls out what I presume is Spike.

“So why do you need adoption papers anyway?” Twilight asks.

“To adopt Clutter, obviously,” Pinkie says.

I did a double take, wait what? she’s actually going to do that! I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there frozen waiting to hear if she was actually serious about this. She can’t be serious why would anybird wanna do that?

“Oh ok -“ Twilight takes a sip from her mug and spits it out, “- wait what!”

“I’m gonna adopt her, isn’t that exciting!” Pinkie responds hopping up and down

“Are you sure about adopting, them? You have thought this through, right Pinkie?” Twilight says sounding a bit concerned.

Holding a hoof to her chest she says, “Yup I’ve been thinking about it nonstop and I say it’s the right thing to do!”

Twilight put a hoof on her forehead, “I suppose I should help this go as smoothly as it possibly can. Spike you got my list yet?”

“Yeah I’m coming!”

I hear somebird coming down a set of stairs looking around I see the stairs but what was coming down them made my eyes widen, wait Spikes a dragon!? I rub my eyes making sure I’m not hallucinating, yup definitely a dragon! I get up immediately but before I try to tackle him I stop myself; hold it Clutter, dragons are dangerous even if he is the same size as you. Better the careful. with that I lay my head low and begin to slowly approach one claw at a time eyes fixated on his movements. He didn’t seem to notice me so I kept getting closer until I was only half a meter behind him; that was when I decided that was close enough. They seem to be talking to the ponies, I’ll just wait until they’re done. so I plopped myself down and starred at the dragon in awe.

Twilight handed the list back to the dragon, “thanks Spike.”

“No problem Twi,” Spike says walking with his head turned towards the ponies. He got a face full of my chest fluff when he turned around. Neither of us did anything for an awkward moment until he pushes himself away. Pulling a feather off his tongue he says, “sorry didn’t see you… there -“ Spike backed away shaking slightly “- oh my Celestia.”

I couldn’t contain myself I stood up my smile growing larger as I shake my rear and place my forehead on his saying, “dragon!”

Unbeknownst to both of us Pinkie saw us and said, “awwww” Then turned back to Twilight to continue talking.

“Gah, back up!” Spike yells at me.

“Hehehe, sorry,” I pull myself back my cheeks turning a light shade of red.

“what was that for anyway?” Spike says

“Sorry I’ve always wanted to meet a real dragon and here you are! I heard dragons are strong, oh I bet you could lift me!” I start Trotting in place out of excitement.

“Heh well I guess I am pretty strong,” Spike flexed his stubby arm and let me inspect it. He seemed a little nervous with me being so close to him but I didn’t realize.

“Cool,” I say poking the muscle; it jiggled slightly but didn’t move much from its place. I plopped myself back down and patted the spot next to me.

Spike raised an eyebrow shrugged at sat next to me with Spook sitting in between us and occasionally glaring at Spike. Now that my excitement died down I finally realized that Spike seemed to be acting weird whenever I got close to him, feathers did I do something wrong?! scooting away to give him some space I say, “Spike?”

Spike raised an eyebrow, “yeah?”

I hesitated for a moment, “s-sorry,” I say quickly turning my head away from him.

Spike looks at me confused, “for what?”

“For creeping you out, obviously,” I say still not looking at him.

“Oh that’s alright, I don’t mind the attention but maybe tone it down a little next time,” Spike says

“Ok,” I lay my head down and begin to think, What’s taking so long I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes now. And why is the dragon still here? I make a small groan and say, “why are you still here?”

“Well when you’re not acting all fanatical you’re very quiet, and I like things to be quiet sometimes,” he said with a shrug.

That was not the answer I expected. I turn my head away and mutter a quick, “thanks.”

I laid there for another minute or two scooting closer to Spike every now and then. when Pinkie and the other one came back they explained it would be about a day or two before the actual adoption would happen but I could still stay at Pinkies place until then and I even managed to convince Pinkie that she didn’t need to carry me back. I still didn’t really understand the concept of adoption, why would anybird want a chick that wasn’t theirs? but I was grateful that I didn’t have to eat dead rodents anymore.