Why Me...?

I heard Rainbow Dash calling for me, and I could tell she sounded so worried. It tore at my heart. I wanted to show myself, to fly down to her to tell her I'm okay. I could see it in her face, confusion mixed with concern, and I hated knowing I was the reason. My friends have always had my back, and yet. I'm too scared to show them what's really going on inside me. What if they really knew the truth of my heritage, of what shadows really hide beneath the surface?

Anytime I think about opening up to them, I freeze up. It's not just a fear factor; it's much deeper than that. It’s like there’s a voice, whispering in the back of my mind, telling me that they won’t understand, that they’ll see me differently. What if the darkness inside me starts to show? What if they look at me and see only Sombra’s son instead of the friend they’ve known? The thought of losing them. it’s unbearable. I’ve come so far with them by my side. I don't want that to go.

What if they find out who I really am? It's all that keeps running through my head. It's not like I chose this path. I didn't ask to be born with this power inside, this darkness. And no matter how hard I try and fight it, it is still there, just waiting to take over. I feel it every time I get close to letting them in-this nagging sense that I don't belong, that I'm different, that I'm dangerous. They look at me and see an alicorn, a friend, but if they knew the truth, would they still trust me? Or would they see me like Sombra?

What if they can't see past my bloodline? I can barely say it aloud. I've spent my whole life trying to be the opposite of him-kind, loyal, trustworthy-but does any of that matter when the darkness is still inside me? I fear no matter what I do, I'll always be judged for the shadows I carry. Maybe it's easier this way-to keep my distance, to never let them in. Then I won't have to see the fear-or worse, the betrayal-in their eyes.

I should be braver than this. I cannot always hide. My friends deserve to know the truth; even though I'm terrified of what that will bring, Twilight and Rainbow Dash-they all trusted me, and if I want to be worthy of that trust, I need to stop running. I just can't continue to live in the dark, acting like everything is all right when it is not. I owe them more than to be honest, even if that means confronting the darkness within me. Maybe. maybe they'll understand. Maybe they won't. But I just can't keep living my life out of fear.

They deserve to know the truth in some time. It's not going to happen overnight. I know I am not ready yet. Still so much to figure out for myself. But I am going to have to stop running from this, because I will need the courage to face it and fight Sombra's legacy, to find out myself who I am, not who my bloodline says I am. And when the time comes, after I find that strength, I'll tell them. I'll let them in. Because keeping this hidden is only feeding the darkness, and I refuse to let it win.

I just hope they'll still want me as a friend when they do. That's the hardest part, the uncertainty. I want to believe my friends will stand by me, that they'll see me for who I am rather than where I come from. But a tiny little voice in the back of my mind keeps whispering back, What if they don't? What if they're scared of me? What if they don't feel the same way? I don't want to be alone, but at the same time, I don't want to continue this lie. I need them. I need their support. But would they still want to give it to me when they see the full picture? Only time will tell, I suppose. That's what terrifies me the most.

For now, I need only to be able to go on, one step after another. It means not giving up, fighting these shadows inside me, and when the time will come, facing my friends with my truth. And perhaps-they just might-stand by my side, a position they have always take