Luna's Safeword

by One Terrible Writer

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Random
Length: 3194

The famed pony lover Casaneighva has his eyes set on Luna. But is the Princess too much even for him

The famed pony lover Casaneighva has his eyes set on Luna. But is the Princess too much for even him to handle?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-31 01:38:58 UTC

Chapter 1

Casaneighva rocked back in his chair and let his gaze fall across the bustling restaurant. The cream of Equestria was dining here tonight, in more ways than one.

‘Had her…’ he thought to himself as his eyes roved across the busy room to alight on a smartly dressed mare who did her best to avoid making eye contact. ‘Had her… had her… had her twice… oh definitely had her!” He gave a wry smile at a baroness who sat resplendid in her lacy finery. She was certainly not resplendid in any finery the last time he had seen her, wailing and sweating and panting as he pounded away. The memory of that made seeing her in such a formal occasion even hotter. He had a photograph of that night tucked away somewhere.

It was something of a hobby.

From a young age he had attracted many a mare, and upon maturing and gaining his cutie mark of a large red heart, he had made it his mission in life to seduce as many of the finest fillies Equestria had to offer. The world was his dining plate, and every mare was a hors d'oeuvre to be consumed. And he had consumed so many, vigorously, and never looking back, always in search of the next challenge to claim.

Tonight would be such a challenge. But one he relished.

He gazed across the table at his date for the evening, waggling his eyebrows in the way that the ladies found irresistible. Soon he would have another notch to add to his bedpost, another conquest to boast of. “So Princess,” he purred. “I’m so glad you agreed to my invitation. It was a wild shot in the dark that one so beautiful as you would agree to dine with a lowly stallion such as myself.”

“OH THINK NOTHING OF IT!” boomed Princess Luna from across the table, shattering several glasses as she did so. The Princess of the Night was absolutely breath-taking, her billowing starry mane drifting across her eyes. Idly Casaneighva wondered what it would be like to fuck that mane. He was certain he’d get a chance to later. He never failed. “ACTUALLY” Luna continued, oblivious to her date’s roving eye “YOU WERE THE FIRST SUBJECT TO ASK US OUT. ONE WOULD IMAGINE A PRINCESS WOULD BE MORE POPULAR!”

Casaneighva knew he needed to play this carefully. He had to worm his way into her affections quickly, smattering some friendly conversation before pushing with the erotic talk. It was a method that had always worked for him in the past, though he’d never tried to seduce a princess before. “What does one as beautiful as yourself do normally then?” he asked, feigning interest in her life.

“OH YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. SOLITARE. BACKGAMMON. PIGCANNON.” Luna casually replied, before her eyes darted to the menu. “ALL THESE CHOICES, ONE IS AT A LOSS!”

“Pigcannon?” Casaneighva frowned. “Apologies my lady, that must be an ancient Equestrian game, one that has no modern equivalent. A card game maybe?”

Luna shook her head. “NO, YOU JUST TAKE A CANNON AND SOME PIGS AND -“

All eyes in the restaurant turned to look at them. Casaneighva coughed quickly in an attempt to prevent the Princess from causing a scene. It all depended on him maintaining a cosy, personal atmosphere. “T-that’s lovely my lady…” he choked out. “In the meantime, allow me to order for you.” He was taking back control, making the decisions so when he later pushed himself on her, she would be conditioned to break and fall into his hooves. It never failed, even with the toughest ponies to crack. Those were the most satisfying.

“OF COURSE!” Luna nodded. As Casaneighva leaned over to a waiter, she frowned, standing suddenly and marching over to an adjacent table upon which a zebra was dining with a pink pony, the couple chatting and laughing and enjoying their meal.

“YOU!” Luna boomed at the startled zebra, waving a hoof at him. “YOU, MY CUTLERY IS DIRTY, CLEAN IT THIS INSTANT!” The zebra and his companion both froze in shock at their meal interrupted. Luna continued to glare. “WE COMMAND IT!”

The zebra, slowly and cautiously got down from his chair, trotted over to Luna’s table and hesitantly started to polish Luna’s cutlery with a napkin. The restaurant descended into an awkward silence. Luna creased her brow at the sudden dip in noise and then came to a realisation.

“OH SORRY, HOW RUDE OF ME!” she exclaimed, leaning in to the pink pony. “THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME BORROW YOUR ZEBRA.”

The pink pony squeaked out almost in fear: “t-that’s my h-husband, ma’am!”

Casaneighva was in the middle of smugly sipping some wine before he realised what Luna was up to, and started to choke violently as the scene unfolded like a cart crash in front of him. “Princess!” he exclaimed, casting an apologetic smile to the poor zebra who was furiously polishing Luna’s cutlery. “Princess, this is modern Equestria, zebras have equal rights now!”

“OH! OH!” Luna gave a sheepish grin and sat back down, waving the zebra off. “THANK YOU ZEBRA. MY APOLOGIES.” She turned back to Casaneighva. “ONE IMAGINES THIS IS WHY MY SISTER BANNED ZEBRACANNON. SUCH A SHAME. WE USED TO OWN A ZEBRA YOU KNOW. HE WAS CALLED STRIPEY.”

Casaneighva noticed all eyes on his table now and shrunk into his chair. So many ponies silently judging him, it would surely impact his future conquests. But just the thought that he would soon be hip deep in Princess Luna, pounding away till she screamed like a little filly more than made up for it.

Two plates clattered onto the table, full of tofu sausages and a selection of the finest vegetables, most of them phallic in shape. Casaneighva knew that a suggestive meal could help fire a mare’s libido. “Food!” he smiled. “Sausages, my princess.” He leaned in closer, conspiratorially, with a cheeky joke to break the ice. “And I don’t mind if you gobble my sausage, if you know what I mean.”

“I DON’T MIND IF I DO, THANKS!” Luna exclaimed happily, leaning in closer too, but leaning past Casaneighva, her head moving to his plate and sucking his sausages up in one inhalation. “DELICIOUS!”

Casaneighva stared down despondently at his plate as the princess cheerily munched on his dinner. “I’m glad you approve!” he replied, quickly rescuing his composure. “Maybe after dinner we could go for a walk… sow some wild oats.” He gave a wink.

Luna nodded furiously. Casaneighva felt his heart leap. “SPLENDID IDEA! WE HAVE AN ALLOTMENT, YOU CAN SOW AS MANY OATS AS YOU WANT!” Casaneighva felt his heart sink.

“No my lady, no…” he spluttered. The princess’s latest outburst had caused another hubbub across the restaurant and the odd clatter of cutlery. It was now or never; being forward had always found him much success in the past. “You must be sad to be by yourself all the time Princess. It must be so lonely.”

“OH NO!” Luna smiled enthusiastically. “WE HAVE PIGCANNON!”

Casaneighva shook his head quickly. “No. Nonono. I mean Princess… alone. Without a stallion. Without a loving touch. I could be that touch.” It was direct, but he found that often worked with mares of a high social standing. Of course, he only planned on fucking her for one night of depraved passion, but he always liked to give the impression that his love could be more longer term. It always lowered the inhibitions of the fairer sex.

Luna blinked, and then broke into a grin, leaping up. “FORNICATION!” she exclaimed. “EXCELLENT NOTION! WE HAVE NOT FORNICATED IN MILLENNIA, LET US NOT TARRY!”

The awkward silence in the restaurant before was nothing compared to the stunned gasp that echoed around the room this time. While Casaneighva had been mortified before however, now he was revelling in it as he too stood up, and gave a wide smile which seemed to say ‘I’m off to fuck a princess’. He gave an extra wide smile to the baroness, and tipped an imaginary hat to her husband.

Tonight was going to be the best night ever.

****

The chariot ride to the castle had been short and uneventful. Casaneighva had spent it peppering sweet words into the Princess’s ear, and now he was sat beside a roaring fire, admiring the opulence around him. The walls were dark blue stone, covered in luxurious fabrics and gold; even more splendid than the rooms of the ladies he usually enjoyed debasing. Luna had rambled on about ‘slipping into something more comfortable’ and ‘getting some coffee’. From experience, that meant only one thing…

“HERE WE GO!” Luna trilled happily, trotting back into the room clutching a pot of coffee and wearing a cardigan. “COFFEE! HAVE SOME!”

Casaneighva’s face fell; this wasn’t what he had in mind. However, the princess had talked about fornication, so he was sure that he would soon be drilling away at the sweet and austere royal princess. He decided it was best to get the coffee out of the way as soon as possible, and took a deep sip.

It was bitter and powerful. He screwed his face up, his eyes almost watering. “G-good!” he choked out.

"THANK YOU!” Luna exclaimed. He noticed she was not drinking any herself. “IT IS MY SISTER’S FAVOURITE. CIVET COFFEE. MADE FROM THEIR DRIED DUNG. VERY RARE AND EXPENSIVE, SO WE MADE OUR OWN.”

Casaneighva felt his face go green, but he resisted the impulse to throw the coffee back up. He was used to such high class delicacies, and had heard of this one, although he had never tried it himself. He forced himself to take another sip. Soon the cup would be empty and the fun could begin. “Ah yes my lady… I have heard of this. Civets are fed on a diet exclusively of coffee beans, so their excrement is the finest coffee. A rare delicacy indeed, I am honoured.”

“HMM.” Luna considered this for a moment. “A GOOD IDEA. I SHALL FEED THEM COFFEE BEANS NEXT TIME!”

Casaneighva's eyes bulged from the sockets as he felt horrifyingly dizzy for a moment, staring down at the brown liquid that swam in his mug.  “Y-yes…” he said weakly as he forced himself to down the vile brew. He slammed the mug down onto a table, gasping for air. Now the formalities were over and he could begin the proper work.

“My lady” he smiled, once he had regained his breath. "I am here to worship you, to lavish love upon your delicate flower of a body.” It was a line that worked wonders usually, making a mare believe she was the centre of the universe and more pliable for his act to work. Soon she would be mercilessly screwed, and lovingly caressing a delicate flower would be the furthest thing from his mind.

“WE ARE EAGERLY AWAITING THE FORNICATION!” Luna exclaimed merrily.

This was the point on which his plan hinged, and where it could go horribly wrong if she reacted badly. “My princess…” he began, removing a series of straps from his satchel. “As a goddess, your throes of love may accidently hurt even me. I have this magical harness, which will restrict the power of any pony held within it. A simple agreed upon safe word will release you, and it can only be put on with your consent.” He held the harness up, smilingly lovingly. “Saying the safe word and only the safe word means that the… fornication will end.”

“AN EXCELLENT IDEA!” Luna replied.

It was a half-truth, of course. The harness would entangle Luna, and her acceptance of it would bind the magic. But the user could change the safe word, and the pony captured within would not be able to change it. He had used it many times on many different ponies, many of them snooty and high class, many of them reduced to blubbering, weeping heaps after he had finished with them. He imagined Luna pinned beneath him, his cock pounding in and out of her fine royal hips, her proud voice broken and weeping as he fucked her brains out like he had with so many other mares. There would be no mercy; he would break this noble princess. Perhaps he could completely shatter her will, reduce the alicorn princess to a mewling sex slave. Perhaps he could become a prince and live in this tower with Luna to provide his every –

“DO YOU NOT AGREE?”

He was broken out of his daydream as he realised Luna was babbling on at him about something. He waved a hoof dismissively, impatient for her to stop talking so he could get on with capturing and fucking her. “Yes yes, sure, whatever,” he muttered.

At once, he realised his mistake. With a sharp crack and a shimmer of magic, his restraints whipped themselves around his legs and neck, squeezing him tight. “No, no, I didn’t mean that!” he cried out.

“DO NOT WORRY!” Luna called out. “WE KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS MODERN KINKY FORNICATION. WE MAY DO WHAT WE LIKE UNTIL YOU CALL OUT THE AGREED UPON SAFE WORD WHICH WILL RELEASE YOU!” She wandered over to a nearby dark alcove and brought out something worryingly long and thick, which she strapped around her waist.  “OF COURSE AS PRINCESS IT WOULD BE UNSEEMLY TO BE PENETRATED!”

Casaneighva started to wriggle in panic, unable to move and realising that his ass was sticking up in the air. “No! No! My princess, I wasn’t listening, I didn’t hear the safe word!”

“OH MY YOU ARE GOOD AT THIS!” Luna exclaimed, lining up the gigantic strap-on dildo against Casaneighva’s asshole. He winced as he felt it press against him, feeling vulnerable for the first time on his life. “DO NOT WORRY I KNOW HOW THIS MODERN GAME OF YOURS WORKS. WINK.” For some reason she felt the need to say the word ‘wink’.

Then she rolled her hips forwards.

Casaneighva screamed out in white-hot agony, his sphincter ripped asunder by the princess as she ploughed deep into him, sending his bound form skidding across the floor. “NonoNO!” he cried out, tears streaming down his cheeks. It wasn’t nearly as fun being on the receiving end, he realised. “Please, I beg you!”

“WHAT JOLLY FUN!” Luna cried cheerfully as she slammed her hips against him, starting up a fast rhythm. “REMEMBER JUST SAY THE SAFE WORK WHEN YOU WANT TO STOP! OOPS WE FORGOT THE LUBRICANT. OH WELL!”

“I don’t know it!” Casaneighva wailed, his insides compacting as the princess went to town on his colon. “Princess! Crown! Moon! Sun! Coffee! Civet!”

As Casaneighva continued to babble random words, Luna just laughed merrily and slapped his rear with her wings, picking up the pace. “THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA OF YOURS! HEY WOULD YOU LIKE A NEW CUTIE MARK?”

“No! No! Rhubarb! Custard! Shazam! Aardvark!” Casaneighva felt his eyes roll back as the princess pounded faster, his ears full of the hard slapping of her hips against his poor raw behind.

“NO SAFE WORD, I GUESS THAT IS A YES!” Luna’s horn twinkled with energy and to his horror, Casaneighva could see from the corner of his eye his proud cutie mark of a heart vanishing, to be replaced by the image of an ass with a huge dildo inserted in it. “WHAT KINKY FUN!” Luna bellowed, giving him another slap, and then with one motion pulled out. “COME ON MY ZEBRA!”

“I-is that e-enough!” Casaneighva gasped out, panting as he felt his insides almost churn out of his body at the sudden motion. He fell onto the ground, but then whined out as Luna approached with an even larger dildo, and more worryingly, a hammer.

“OH YOU ARE INSATIABLE!” Luna trilled happily as she thrust the dildo into his ass and hammered it home. “YOU MODERN PONIES! SUCH DESIRES!”

Casaneighva could only gurgle weakly. His own thoughts of dominating Luna had flown from his mind, and all he could think about now was escape, preferably with his ass intact. As he felt the massive member hammered into himself, he realised this was probably a vain hope.

Then, strangely, Luna started to smear something over his body. He frowned, dazed. “W-wha?”

“BOOT POLISH!” Luna cheerfully replied. “THE STRIPE-FACE IS AN OLD EQUESTRIAN TRADITION. IS THAT NOT RIGHT STRIPEY?” She held up a mirror. Shocked, Casaneighva saw that his bedraggled body had been crudely covered in black stripes.

“Boots! Horseshoes! McNuggets! Butlin’s Holiday!” Casaneighva croaked out.

Luna leant over him. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE SUSPENDED FROM PIANO WIRE TIED AROUND YOUR TESTACLES WHILE I SMACK YOU WITH A BOARD OF WOOD?” she asked politely.

“NO! “ Casaneighva cried in abject panic, struggling against his bonds. But he had made them too well, they were inescapable. He was caught in his own trap. “CATS! MILK! VOORD! GEOFF HURST IN THE 1966 WORLD CUP!” he wailed.

None of the words worked and suddenly and horribly, Casaneighva felt a horrible pressure on his balls and he began to black out.

He flickered in and out of consciousness, each time feeling his body becoming more and more battered, each time, rasping out more and more words. Each time they didn’t work.

***

Once, he opened his eyes to find that he was hanging upside down, the face of a white pony in front of him. With a start, he realised who it was. “P-princess Celestia, h-help me!” he whimpered.

“WE ARE PLAYING THE SAFE WORD GAME!” Luna’s voice drifted across the room. “HE IS VERY GOOD AT IT!”

Celestia frowned at the scene. “I’ll get help!” she exclaimed, racing from the room. Casaneighva breathed a sigh of relief. Celestia would save him! Perhaps he could use this to worm his way into her affections and –

His train of thought came to a crashing end as Celestia ran back into the room, a gigantic black dong strapped to her, which to his dismay, he realised was almost the length of his entire body.

“HUZZAH!” he heard Luna cry. “THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!”

Then thankfully it all went black again.

***

Casaneighva was aching all over. He slowly opened his eyes to be met with blackness, leaning against what felt like cool metal walls, just a small circle of light above his head. He tested his bonds. They were still magically fastened tight. Moaning, he tried to rock upright, and gave a start as a warm body brushed against him. “H-hello?” he quivered, shaking in the darkness. “W-where am I?” Was he in a dungeon? A box? The walls were curiously curved, like a cylinder.

“Oink.”

He opened his eyes wide as he heard the pig snuffle, struggling harder against his bonds. With a horrifically sinking feeling, he realised where he was.

“Pig cannon!”

His bonds magically fell away. He gave a weak cry of joy at his new found freedom, laughing in relief. Just as suddenly, his face fell as he heard a strange hissing noise echo around the metal cylinder.

The resulting explosion could be heard all the way to Ponyville.