Solaris nervously seated himself upon his throne, feeling its cold, hard surface press against the squishy roundness of the royal plot. He adjusted the golden crown atop his head and tried to look regal and commanding. Turning to his brother, he placed a quivering hoof on Artemis’ barrel.
“This is it, Artemis,” he whispered. “The survival of our nation is at stake. Remember, we must promise the human anything he wants, so long as he spares our precious subjects.”
“Hath thou lost all faith in the Elements of Harmony?” Artemis scoffed. “We need not promise anything! Our task is merely to distract the barbarian until Dusk Shine and the others get here. They’ll be able to deal with him.”
“I pray you are right,” Solaris agreed. “Yet if he grows impatient with our delaying tactics, we may need to take matters into our own hooves. Come, we will get through this together... for the honour of Equestria.”
“For Equestria, brother.” Touching their horns together to cast a spell, Solaris and Artemis magically swept open the grand doors of their throne room, and invited the invader they feared so much into the very heart of their once proud nation.
The barbarian king strode into the two brothers’ throne room as if he already owned it. He was a human, a race unknown, and Solaris was grateful indeed that he seemed to be the only one of his kind. In the span of mere months, this conqueror had proven mightier and more cunning than any who stood against him. Piece by piece, his stolen kingdom had swollen like a sea in raging storm, until its borders lapped at the shores of the last free place in all the lands: Equestria, the Nation of the Three Tribes.
A leather strap across the biped’s bare chest held a huge, gleaming battle axe against his back. A long, dark mane spilled down in curls to brush his powerful withers, its tendrils dense with grease and sweat. His body gleamed all over with oil, and much oil had been used, for the human’s height was that of three stalwart earth ponies, and his arms held the strength of ten. He wore nothing save a collection of purloined jewels upon his fingers, and a small loincloth which did very little to conceal the slumbering bulk of his stallionhood.
Four other creatures walked behind the human: a huge red dragon, a sneering changeling Queen, a yak bull the size of an Ursa Minor and an ominously silent kirin. Any one of these villains would have been a match for the Castle Guard and cause for summoning the Elements. With all of them banded together and demanding audience, it seemed wisest to let them in beneath a flag of truce, and hear what their leader had to say.
The human lifted a hand and the creatures behind him halted in their steps. “Leave us,” he told his lieutenants without looking back. “I will handle these negotiations myself.” He pulled the battle axe from his back and handed it to the yak, who held it in his mouth as he trotted out the throne room along with the others.
Suddenly alone with the powerful, albeit disarmed beast, Solaris felt a strange scent assault his nose, and an odd twitching in his sheath. The human was hardly civilized, but one had to admit there was an appealing power to his over-muscled body. If he’d only take a bath, and shed that silly loincloth to go naked like a proper stallion, he might provide an evening’s entertainment... bah, what nonsense!
Solaris shook his head vigorously, dispelling the fantasy. With the pending invasion on top of the usual royal crises, it had been several days since Equestria’s ruler had found any time for himself. If only he could sneak away and clear his head with a quick clop session... he might not be thinking such un-Princely thoughts about a vicious brute who would cut his head off without a second thought!
“H-hear me, human,” Solaris began, awkwardly covering his unsheathing arousal with a hoof. “For over 1,000 years we ponies have lived in peace. We have no wish for violence or war, we only want to share our friendship with all creatures.”
In response the human clenched a commanding fist. “Equestria is surrounded, you silly ponies!” his deep voice boomed. “Griffonstone, Yakyakistan, the Dragonlands, even Kirin Grove — all mine! All the races of this world are turned against you.” At this the human’s stern features softened somewhat. “Yet with a single word, you have the power to transform your enemies into the dearest of friends.”
“What is it that you want?” Solaris asked, casting a secret glance at the gilded clock on the far side of the throne room. “Speak plainly... and as slowly as possible, if you don’t mind.”
“Surrender Equestria to me—”
“NEVER!” shrieked Artemis, only to be stilled by his brother’s hoof on his wither. “The longer he talks,” Solaris whispered through gritted teeth, “the better chance we have of holding out until the Elements arrive.”
“Surrender to me now,” the barbarian king repeated, “and not a drop of pony blood will be spilled.” He began to pace before the two thrones, and two sets of royal eyes swivelled back and forth, involuntarily switching between his hardened biceps and his round, magnificent flanks.
“You may continue to reign as you see fit,” the human assured the royal brothers. “I will demand no tribute from your farmers and force not a single stallion into my army. If you dare, you may even try to educate me in the ways of the ‘friendship’ you find so precious.”
“Then what do you want?” inquired Solaris. “This hardly seems like surrender at all.”
At this, the Princes saw a most unusual sight: the proud human who had conquered countless nations stooped down, kneeling before the two marble thrones of Equestria like the most common subject. He lowered his gaze, as if ashamed to glance the desperate rulers of the nation he held in the palm of his hand.
“I want you,” he whispered, his voice barely able to part with the words.
“Eh?” grunted Artemis.
“C-come again?” asked Solaris, his sheath twitching with renewed vigour.
The human put his hand atop his heart, the flesh of his palm meeting that of his bare pectoral with a most delightful “plap.” “Since the moment I saw your royal portraits, my heart has beat to the pulse of your two names,” he confessed. “Solaris... Artemis... this world holds no treasures as precious as those sounds! I have conquered whole nations because they stood between us. Now that I behold your divine radiance, I confess I want nothing from Equestria... except that its two beautiful rulers consent to be my brides.”
Artemis coughed lightly and exchanged an awkward glance with his brother. “T-thy words are flattering, but I fear thy facts are somewhat lacking. My brother and I are Equestria’s handsome and strikingly masculine Princes. We could never be your brides.”
“P-perhaps you would accept us as your husbands, instead?” Solaris asked. This was all getting a bit intense! What was taking Dusk Shine so long? Why was it suddenly so hot in here?
The barbarian king shook his head, a cruel smile on his lips. “I find that pampered Princes make the very best brides,” he smirked.
“Oh, dear,” Solaris murmured, as his arousal finally won out over his good sense. The royal stallionhood slipped fully out of his sheath, its tip drooping upon the cold stone of Equestria’s highest throne. Fortunately, it was at that moment that Artemis stepped in, doing his bit to distract and delay the would-be conqueror.
“Equestria’s ‘brides’ are not to be so easily won, vile human!” the Prince of the Night objected. “We must be courted first... gently, lovingly and quite slowly!”
“Hrm, very well,” the human mused. “If a long courtship is your tradition, then we should begin immediately.” He stepped up onto the royal dais, bringing his cruel mouth level to that of Solaris as he sat upon the throne. “The poets say that every love affair begins with a single kiss. Come, allow me...” With a daring thrust, the barbarian mated his tanned lips to those of the snow white alicorn Prince. His powerful hands cupped Solaris’ head, and the two were joined in a most passionate, if somewhat unexpected kiss.
“B-brother, what art thou doing?” squeaked Artemis, peeking out from behind the hooves he held before his eyes. “Art thou kissing him back?”
“Remember, Artemis...” Solaris moaned. “Anything for our great nation. Anything to keep him... ooh! ... occupied!” Despite his growing blush and shallow breaths, the noble Prince fought back bravely against the human’s plundering tongue, parrying its thrusts with his own. He’d show this bipedal bully that ponies were not to be trifled with!
Yet in truth, the battle was a losing one. Solaris’ pony heart beat like mad as the intoxicating scent of the human’s body swept into his sensitive nose. Even as the barbarian began to moan out his own arousal, the alicorn’s unsheathed cock swelled quickly to its full 3-inch length, silently begging for the loving touch of human hands.
Thanks to generations of good breeding, Solaris and Artemis both had bodies that fit the male ideal to a tee: rounded curves, flowing and glossy manes, pert muzzles and full lips, soulful eyes with delicate lashes, and the most adorable little horse penises Equestria had ever seen! How could anycreature, even one of another species, confuse these two studly stallions with soft and submissive mares?
However this mixup had happened, Solaris had to confess he was minding the insult less and less with every press of the human’s lips against his own! Humping his hips desperately, wriggling his heated bum atop his throne, he tried to signal to his evil conqueror that he wanted... he needed more!
The barbarian smiled as he felt the oft pleasured cock of the Sun Prince brush shyly against his solid thigh. Looking down, he took the royal dicklet between two large fingers, squeezing forth a spurt of pre and making Solaris gasp.
“What a beautiful flower,” the human murmured. Again he knelt at Solaris’ throne, placed his lips atop the tiny erection and sucked up a delicious taste of musky stallion-sauce. “Once we are married, my artisans will construct for her a cage of purest gold.”
“A c-cage?” Solaris whimpered, still woozy from the human’s kiss. No truer symbol of Equestria’s subjugation could be imagined, than that this foreign brute should confine the royal stallionhood!
“Only to be worn in public, my Princess,” the barbarian soothed. “Only to hide her from the sight of the common rabble. I am a jealous ruler, yet not a cruel one. In our bedchamber I will set her free each night, and shower her with kisses.”
“Oh, th-that doesn’t sound so bad,” Solaris confessed as the huge barbarian gently kissed and nibbled his sensitive cock. “It... ooh, this actually feels quite nice. Artemis, you should try this!”
“After you, brother,” Artemis insisted with a scowl. “I hope he taketh a good, long time to see to thy pleasure!”
“Showing such generosity to your brother.” The human favoured Artemis with a smile and a single stroke of a finger beneath his chin — simple gestures that had the Lunar Prince blushing like mad! “I’m glad the two of you get along, I do so hate arguments in my harems. Such lovely mouths were meant for more pleasurable duties.”
With a subtle twitch of his hips, the human tossed the flap of his loincloth to the side, revealing to Solaris and Artemis exactly what those “duties” might involve! A vast pipe of turgid human prick leapt forth from its flimsy concealment, first bowing down from its weight as if greeting its noble audience, then leaping upwards to slap against the barbarian’s taut belly with a spray of fresh oil and pungent precum.
Solaris and Artemis gasped in unison, their mouths involuntarily opening, their tongues extending, and their hind legs shifting apart to present the human with his choice of holes. Such courtesy was only polite, as the barbarian king had revealed a throbbing monster in need of immediate royal relief. Befitting the towering bulk of his muscular form, he sported twice the length and girth of the best hung earth pony these princes had ever seen — four times the size of their own alicorn dingalings!
A stallionhood so brutishly huge would have made this human a laughingstock among the perfumed aristocrats of Canterlot, who prized small and delicate penises above all. Yet the wave of conquest that had swept across the land rendered such considerations irrelevant. In the new Equestria, might made right... and cock made might!
It was this shaft, not that of the human’s deadly axe, which had subjugated Yakyakistan and Seaquestria. The sceptre of the Dragonlord had proven powerless against such a meaty rod of office. The once proud race of diamond dogs had been trained to roll over and beg for their master’s all powerful bone. Now the turn of the ponies had come. Human cock would have its way... human cock would rule Equestria!
Though he should have been shaking with fear, Solaris found his heart pounding with excitement as he lay on his back and parted his cheeks with his magic, offering up his rounded rump. Deep inside, he found that he longed to be taken atop his throne, to be treated like a peasant mare with a healthy, joyous lover! He was so tired of struggling to fit his dick between the lips of whichever dull, pretentious Duchess he was forced to woo that week. Why not relax, and allow himself to be seduced for a change?
“So beautiful,” the barbarian whispered his appreciation for the sight of the submissive equine before him. Taking his cock in both hands, he lightly spanked the head of his oiled up horsewrecker against Solaris’ taut little ballsack. The thwack of meat on meat drew a whimper to Solaris’ lips, as felt a spark of pain in his core, and saw the true measure of the cock he’d be servicing. Why, just the head of that beast outweighed his entire pony package!
“Halt such blasphemy at once, human!” Artemis called out, watching with alarm as Solaris shifted upon his throne, spreading his hind legs even wider. “The royal balls are not thy playthings!”
“D-do not condemn so hastily, brother,” Solaris moaned. Again the human’s cockhead loudly and wetly collided with the cutest, most tender parts of his body. “See how I have — uuf! — captured his attention. Do your worst, dear human... I will hold out, for Equestria’s sake!” Gritting his teeth, Solaris heroically endured the battering assault on his crown jewels, even as his dick twitched and drooled, brought to the very brink of a masochistic climax!
“My bride... my princess...” With a grunt of pleasure and a cruel smile the human continued to gently beat Solaris’ balls into submission, slapping them with his cock and pushing them about in their hairless pouch, punishing them for thinking they were ever intended as tools of royal propagation. In the human’s opinion, Solaris’ so-called stallionhood would be better off considered as a mare’s clit, a source of pure pleasure, even as the delicate ponut beneath was reshaped into a wet and welcoming pussy!
“P-please...” Solaris whimpered. “Use me to sate yourself... I need it... I’ll make it good for you...”
“Mmm.” By running his hand along his gleaming pectorals, the human soon covered two fingers in musk scented oil. Pressing those fingers between Solaris’ well developed and eagerly spread plot cheeks, he took the first necessary step towards granting the alicorn’s wish. Instantly he felt the puckered prize loosen, then clench around his probing digits, as he gently moved them back and forth.
“Are you a virgin, my dear?” The human gently drew his thumb up the alicorn’s taint to tickle his smooth coinpurse, soothing the pain of his earlier dickspanks.
“I-I might as well be...” Solaris confessed, gulping at the size of the shlong that was about to go inside him. His youthful experiments with the Royal Guard now counted for nothing. That beast between the human’s legs could ruin a dragon — and probably had!
The human nodded, even as Solaris’ hungry stallion-hole gobbled up his greasy fingers. “Then I shall be gentle,” he soothed. “I have learned much in my travels... the kirin were excellent tutors.” Removing his digits from Solaris’ hungry insides, the human guided the fat, blunt flare of his oil drenched cock to Solaris’ greased up booty, rubbing its spongy flesh around the quivering pony pucker with an ever more insistent force.
As he felt the building pressure and the dawn of purest pleasure, Prince Solaris looked up at the human barbarian with the soft and gentle eyes of adoration and utter surrender! Sensing his moment, the human leaned and took another kiss, even as his brutish cock sank with silken ease past the feeble protests of Solaris’ ever-spreading anal ring. After standing strong for over 1,000 years, it was at this moment that Equestria fell, with Prince Solaris’ back gate yawning open for the fleshy invader. Historians would write of this moment... usually with one hoof at their crotches!
The conquered prince grunted with discomfort as he felt himself stretched to the maximum, but at last his straining butthole closed tight around the curve at the back of the human’s glans, and a deep satisfaction filled his soul. He felt so full, yet there was so much dick to go! So much to be explored with this wondrous human. Solaris longed to be carried in his arms, to wear his cage, to succumb to those fierce kisses, to be stretched and plumbed by human cock until that vast length was fully seated inside him. To cuddle, to caress... to leave his life of lonely responsibility behind, and find happiness together with his brother and this strange, wondrous monster!
I can fix him! Solaris pledged himself wholeheartedly to the task. Though this barbarian was surely destined to rule Equestria, Solaris and Artemis would be able to blunt the human’s cruel instincts. The princely brothers would remain the power behind... or more likely, sprawled on top of... the throne, ruling secretly through the magic of friendship.
With the proper help and advice, this buttfucking beast would be remembered not as an evil tyrant, but as a kindly and benevolent King. Yes, there would be no brutality to the human’s reign, save that visited upon the princely ponuts... preferably on a nightly basis!
Already the human’s features seemed softer and kinder with each sucking kiss Solaris’ anus bestowed upon his swollen flare. His hand reached down and gently stroked Solaris’ own speckled erection, a tender smile appearing on his face as the evil barbarian fell under the civilizing spell of pretty pony princess poopchute.
With grunts of satisfaction the human repeatedly popped the crown of his flare in and out of Solaris’ ponut, forcing undignified noises from both the front and rear ends of the conquered monarch. Yet such noises were not voices of complaint, but cries of burning desire! “Please... I can take more...” Solaris promised, begging with his eyes. Such a proposition was far from certain, as the flare of the barbarian king’s prick filled him more thoroughly than anything he’d ever felt. Yet it saddened him so to think of leaving all those extra inches out in the cold!
The human shook his head and smiled. “Just the tip, my love,” he urged. “No more than this, until we are properly wed. It is you who wanted me to take our romance slow.”
“N-no, that was Artemis...” The pouting Prince was seemingly willing to betray his brother for another inch of cock up his ass! “I proposed that we should submit to you totally... give you everything you wanted...”
“Well,” the human chuckled, “I suppose I can fuck you a little deeper.” He deepened his thrusts just enough that the rounded tip of his prick bumped against Solaris’ well tended P-spot, making him gasp with a rising passion. “But what do the traditions of Equestria say? Will a deflowered Princess be allowed to wear white at her wedding?”
“I’ll wear anything you—UNNNGH!” The mention of matrimony, not to mention the sudden pressure against his bitchbutton, brought the already heated Solaris to his climax. Solaris grunted and whinnied as his tiny cock spent its royal load, only to find the human’s powerful hand cupped around his sensitive flare, teasing and stroking with tender loving attention, pulling every drop of horsecum out of those tenderized balls.
Solaris looked on in wonderment as his seemingly wasted seed filled the barbarian’s cupped palm. As it overflowed, the human raised his hand to his lips and tasted the equine concoction, swirling it around his mouth like the finest wine before swallowing and smiling down at his lover.
“Ah, sweet pony ambrosia,” the barbarian murmured. “Once we are married, you will provide me with a mouthful each morning.”
“As many mouthfuls as you wish, my love,” Solaris smiled eagerly. Though he knew he would never cum inside a mare again, he was grateful that his regal seed would go to good use. A quick glimpse showed that Artemis was squirming on his own throne, shyly rubbing his miniature prick, licking his lips and fantasizing about his coming turn with Equestria’s conqueror.
A grateful whinny dropped from Solaris’ lips as the human resumed his gentle, yet punishing penetration of the royal backdoor. Endlessly the barbarian fucked, sweat rolling down his oiled body as Solaris’ ponut did its best to strangle the thick, vascular meat that impaled it so delightfully. In and out, harder and faster... and if another inch or two of that vast human cock slid up into Solaris’ squirming bowels along the way, there was need to tell the wedding planner. Solaris was determined to wear a glorious white wedding gown on his special day, no matter what!
Though the barbarian’s many lovers considered him to have the carnal power of a god, the truth was that the stress of war had drained much of his stamina. When his campaign for domination began, he had fucked entire changeling hives into submission without a second thought. Yet the march across the Dragonlands to Equestria’s border had been long and tiring, and it had been some time since the barbarian’s “sword” had last seen use. Thus it was that only a few further minutes elapsed, before the slickness of alicorn ass brought him to the undeniable height of pleasure.
“MY PRINCESS!” he cried out as hot, sticky human seed poured forth in torrents from the wide spread slit at the tip of his cock. His hips jerked without rhyme or reason as his heavy balls finally announced their readiness to unleash their sperm. Both meaty orbs set happily to work, pouring the work of many days into Solaris’ tight, hot ponyhole as it struggled and squirmed.
Once again human fingertips found the sensitive flare of Solaris’ cocklet, and the former ruler felt himself swiftly stroked to a second peak. Letting go of every care and worry, Solaris cried out lustfully, soaking the human’s hand and the fur of his barrel with another dribbling load of alicorn DNA. For a few moments he felt truly fulfilled, as his own body quaked in time to the fat jets of stud seed he felt pouring into his guts.
“Oh, Solaris, my beloved...” With a smile, the satiated human pulled his throbbing meat from Solaris’ cocksheath and honoured him with one final spank of his messy glans on the alicorn’s still twitching horsenuts. He lifted Solaris up with strong, flexing arms, and with a final kiss set the squirming pony on the floor where he himself had so recently knelt. He then took his rightful place upon Solaris’ throne, their roles now reversed. His bulky body barely fit upon the usurped seat, and his hefty balls spilled off the edge to dangle before Solaris’ drooling mouth.
“How dare you, human!” Artemis cried out. “You defile Equestria’s sacred throne—eep!” His Royal Canterlot Voice was swiftly silenced by an upraised hand. The rightful ruler of Equestria was hardly in a mood to listen to complaints — not when there were serious issues of state to attend to!
“One of you will suck me hard again,” the human commanded idly. “I don’t care who.”
“Ha! Tis I who will restore thy stength!” Artemis boasted. With a flap of his mighty wings, he leapt off the throne to capture the final droplet of sperm as it dangled from the tip of the human’s cock. He suckled hungrily, twirling his tongue around the head, knowing that he would remember his first taste of ape dick for an eternity to come.
Before long the royal brothers found themselves working together to clean the musk and cum from the drooping shaft of their ruler and master. As Artemis polished the vast mushroom flare, Solaris lazily traced his tongue down the bumpy network of veins which ran the length of the shaft that had broken him. Shimmering tails hiked above cushy plots as both supposed males advertised their eagerness to serve as the king’s equine cocksleeves.
“Such good little ponies.” With a gentle pat on Solaris’ head, the barbarian king lifted the Sun Prince’s crown and set it atop his own flowing locks. Solaris merely beamed with pride as his birthright was taken from him. How handsome my husband looks... he thought to himself.
As for Artemis’ smaller diadem, the human pinched it between two fingers, lifted it off the former ruler’s head and slipped it over the head of his fleshy endowment, letting it slide down around his half chub like a cockring. There it sat, glittering halfway down the stupendous length, as princely mouths and teasing magical auras restored that fleshy weapon of conquest to its former girth.
“Ahh, another realm subjugated,” the human smiled and sat back in his new throne, orally pampered by his two gorgeous wives-to-be. “Time to relax, and enjoy the spoils. Don’t feel bad, boys, you lasted longer than King Novo did...”
“Don’t worry, Solaris!” Dusk Shine shouted as he burst into the throne room along with his friends. He and Elusive charged their horns with powerful attack spells, as the Elements of Harmony prepared to save Equestria once again. “We’ll protect you from that — oh, fuck me!”
The startled Princes of Equestria beheld the six heroic stallions with guilty looks upon their muzzles, and rightfully so! These naughty boys had been treating the conqueror of their realm to the most forbidden pleasures! Far from putting up the slightest resistance, Solaris and Artemis seemed to have opened the royal treasury and spread their butt cheeks at the first whiff of human musk!
Solaris’ slackened plothole oozed an ocean of creamy delight onto the marble floor as he knelt before his former throne and lovingly kissed the twitching ball-sack of Equestria’s new ruler. Meanwhile, Artemis straddled the human’s lap, and bit his lip to keep from crying out with pleasure as he hungrily power-bottomed a cock larger than his leg. The front hooves of the Moon Prince were wrapped lovingly around the barbarian’s thick neck even as his bubble butt bounced up and down, unable to accommodate even one third of the massive, veiny manhood.
“Ah, gentlestallions, you’ve arrived at last.” Solaris waved warmly at his pupil, the situation was well in hoof. “But as you can see, there is nothing to worry about.”
“N-nothing to worry about?” Dusk Shine ranted. “You couldn’t hold out for 10 lousy minutes! You surrendered instantly to an evil king, and now Equestria lies in disgrace! Just look at him — he’s wearing your crown and sitting in your throne! You’re licking his nuts while he fucks your brother up the ass!”
“Tis no surrender!” Artemis stated haughtily, dropping his widened plothole back down upon his lover’s slippery, vein wrapped shaft. “We simply despaired of waiting for thee to show up, and chose to handle the situation in our own way. Come, see how far our would-be conqueror has progressed in his reform.”
Artemis leaned forward and kissed the barbarian king, drawing a quivering moan from the biped’s strong lips. “Thou wouldst not allow any harm to come to our little ponies, would thee?” he queried sweetly.
“N-never, my Princess of the Night...” the human confessed. “I’ll defend Equestria with my very life!”
“And the lands thou hast stolen from their rightful rulers?”
“I’ll return them all! I swear, I only did it to impress you!”
“You didn’t think we could handle one simple villain, did you, Dusk?” Solaris scoffed at his pupil, as he hungrily lapped the dripping fucksweat from a twitching testicle the size of his hoof. “Give me a break! We are powerful alicorns, not the helpless ditzes you seem to think we are!”
This lecture was interrupted by Artemis’ effeminate whinny. His dark nub of a cock pulsed and launched its horsey load onto the human’s already cum sticky chest. Lazily drawing one finger up his rugged abs, Equestria’s new ruler brought a thick strand of fresh sperm to Artemis’ lips. The two lovers’ tongues wrapped around the human’s finger, sharing the gooey treat even as they tasted each others’ hungry kisses.
Despite having just succumbed to his second — or perhaps third — orgasm, Artemis’ overstuffed plot kept bouncing up and down upon his new fiance’s invincible shaft, as regular as clockwork. The once dignified Moon Prince now seemed positively endless in his desire for prostate crushing, human powered sodomy!
“Now, go and find Raven Inkwell,” Solaris commanded Dusk Shine from behind the human’s wall of sweltering musk. “We have a royal wedding to plan! Oh, and I hear of an artisan named Tight Fit who works in the goldsmith’s district — I want to arrange a private meeting with her. Hurry, please!”
“Ugh, can you believe those two?” Dusk complained once he and the other Elements of Harmony had left the throne room and were safely out of royal earshot. “We go through all that trouble to save Equestria with the power of friendship, and they’ve already saved it, with the power of assfucking!”
“All’s well that ends well, I reckon,” Applejack shrugged. “It does mah heart good, ta see the Princes findin’ love at last.”
“Yeah, he seems nice!” Bubble Berry added. “I think he’s just what those two need — a big ole stud to gape those uptight butts and show them how to party!”
“W-why does Solaris want to talk to Tight Fit?” Butterscotch whimpered nervously. “She’s the one who makes those horrible golden birdcages that are much too small for the birds... the ESPCA has been trying to put her out of business for years!”
“I suspect Solaris has thought of a less cruel and more fashionable use for Tight Fit’s talents,” Elusive speculated. He cast an appreciative glance at the sheathes between the hind legs of his fellow Elements. “I daresay there’s many a ‘bird’ that wouldn’t mind being caged, for the right owner...”
As for Rainbow Blitz, he simply had to scratch his head with wonderment, barely able to process the shocking things he’d seen and heard. Did Solaris and Artemis really intend to marry that big lug? They certainly seemed serious about their sudden relationship... Solaris had been kissing all over the human’s foalmakers, and Artemis was taking that ginormous wiener right up his no-no hole!
Blitz didn’t want to spread rumours that would make the Princes look bad, but there seemed to be something a little bit gay about the whole setup...
