I'm a Badass Fire Horse

You find yourself confined within an old, yet oddly cozy tavern. The rain outside continued to pour endlessly, ignoring your silent pleas for it to stop.

Thinking to sate your boredom, you decided to order a drink from the bar. As you took a seat, you noticed that there were three other individuals beside you. They seemed to share your current mood.

Initially, you opted to stay silent, but as time went on, you realized that a tankard of magically-cooled cider just wasn't doing it for you. Striking a conversation with these creatures would likely help pass the time.

It seemed like the shiftling had decided to start first. She leaned over the counter and greeted you, along with the others next to you, with a kind smile.

...

***

Daybreaker looked to Cadance and let out a small cough. The young alicorn jumped slightly and blushed.

"S-sorry, I got uh... a little too immersed..."

Celestia covered a giggle with a hoof, while Sunset merely rolled her eyes. Raven seemed mostly oblivious to the whole ordeal.

Cadance cleared her throat, "Alright, now what would she say..."

***

"Looks like this rain's not letting up, huh?"

The others looked at her and nodded, wordlessly agreeing with her comment. It was unusual, especially in this region of Erda-

***

"Ah, is that the name of the world you've crafted, Dayb-" Celestia began, but was quickly silenced by the DM.

"Shush!"

"Well-"

"Shush!"

"It-"

"Shush!"

After a moment of silence, Celestia could only sigh, "My apologies. Carry on..."

***

Where large-scale rain is typically scheduled closer to the middle of the year. Perhaps the pegasus could give some insight into this sudden downpour?

Raven's character turned to Celestia's as he adjusted his glasses.

"Excuse me miss, if I may ask, was there a re-scheduling issued by the local weather factory?"

The stag asked politely to the pegasus. She tapped a hoof on the table in thought, trying to remember any news or information shared between the assigned weather ponies of the region. Of which she was one of them.

...

***

Celestia leaned closer to Daybreaker and whispered.

"How exactly would I know that?"

The DM gave the princess a confused look before something clicked in her mind. A certain episode she had watched over five years ago.

Celestia, the pony frequently portrayed in fanworks as a political mastermind and chronic schemer, couldn't do improv even if her life depended on it.

'Well... shit.'

She paused for a moment in thought, before deciding to force the princess to wing it. Daybreaker leaned towards her 'counterpart' and quickly whispered back.

"Just... say you don't know or something!"

Celestia turned back to her fellow players with an uncertain look on her face. She took a breath and attempted to act out her character.

***

"Uh... I don't... know?"

***

The princess turned to the DM with a tentative smile. Daybreaker could only reply by heaving a sigh and shaking her head tiredly. A quick glance showed that Sunset had also shared her thoughts by facehoofing.

'Good enough.'

***

The pegasus' answer was... odd, but you decided to write it off as a simple quirk of the mare. How curious, if a weather pony wasn't informed of this sudden change, then what could possibly have happened? Was there perhaps more to this meteorological anomaly? The three creatures who had spoken turned to the centaur, who in turn, had stayed quiet during their interaction. Does-

"Before you all start asking, no, I also have no idea what's going on with this rain."

***

A pointed glare from Daybreaker caused Sunset to flinch. She may be on friendly terms with her, but the student still knew how intimidating the fiery mare could be at times.

"Sorry..."

The DM sighed and continued her narration.

***

Realizing that no creature had a clue about what had caused the event, the four of you settled back into a comfortable silence. Oh well, you thought, the weather would clear up eventually. No need to assume anything out of the ordinary.

Not a minute passed before another individual took a seat on one of the barstools. From what you can see, said individual was an earth pony mare with an orange coat and a brown stetson on her head. A part of her mane peeked from the base of her headwear, revealing her blonde mane.

You ignored her, for the most part, not thinking much about the mare. That is, until she began to talk to you.

***

A ray of magic emerged from Daybreaker's obscured horn and coalesced right in front of her. It took the glob of energy no more than a few seconds to properly take shape, but once it was done, the players quickly realized that it was a scaled-down bust of the previously described NPC.

The projection moved as if it were an actual pony and addressed them directly.

***

"Say, y'all happen to be adventurers, ain't ya? Open fer a contract?"

Sunset's character took another sip from his tankard before turning his gaze towards the newcomer.

"And what exactly would we be dealing with?"

The centaur replied bluntly to her question. The mare seemed to be slightly put off by this but carried on anyway. Now that you've gotten a better look at her face, you noticed how she seemed to be rather distressed.

"Uh, well, y'see, our village's been dealin' with ponies disappearin' in a nearby forest fer the last week. At first, we thought they've just hunkered down somewhere what with the constant rain an' all, but come the very next day, nopony seen or heard of 'em comin' back! Now, we've sent out search parties, obviously, but they've also just... up an' disappeared!"

Raven's character hummed in thought. He then proceeded to pull out a pencil and notebook from under his cloak.

"Curious... does the forest have a reputation for being hard to navigate? Or perhaps for harboring dangerous wildlife?"

The mare seemed less perturbed when the stag addressed her. Perhaps the centaur's visage was a little intimidating?

"No sir. Ponies've been goin' in and outta that forest for generations. Biggest critter its got was a badger... or at least, last I've heard."

"I see. Now, could you elaborate further on..."

The motes of fire that floated above the table had gone dark, replaced by smaller, flashing lights that almost resembled fireflies. The room's atmosphere had also changed, making it feel colder and much less welcoming.

Upon the table were small projections of pine trees, with a large path going right through the center. On one end of the path was a brightly glowing diamond-shaped marker, as a way to indicate where the party was.

***

After passing through the small village that the mare had led you to, she had left you, along with the three other adventurers who had agreed to accept the contract, standing face-to-face with the edge of a coniferous forest.

From what you could see, it appeared just as any naturally formed forests in the region would, with tall pine trees towering up in the sky, partially obscured by the non-stop rain.

The four of you nodded to each other and adjusted your raincoats. This quest will be a little different from what you're used to, but the reward made it more than worth it.

Finding those ponies alive would be nice too, you supposed.

***

A glance towards her players showed three out of four of them giving her a concerned look. Daybreaker raised an eyebrow before questioning them.

"What?"

Celestia quickly waved a hoof, "Nothing, nothing. Please, continue."

The obscured mare shrugged and carried on.

***

As you continued to make your way through the forest, you soon realized that you hadn't caught the names of your fellow adventurers. Well, better late than never, right?

Raven's character abruptly stopped in place as he realized something. He turned to his allies with wide eyes.

"My goodness, it just dawned on me that I haven't introduced myself! Terribly sorry.

The stag began. The others looked towards him with intrigue.

"My name is Timber Spruce. I am a scholar first and sorcerer second. It is a pleasure to meet you all."

Cadance's character leaned forward from the other side of the group and gave Timber a friendly smile.

"My name's Oxytocin and I'm a ranger! You can call me Oxyn. Nice to meet you too!"

***

The young princess noticed the odd look that Sunset was giving her and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh..."

Sunset put her hooves together on the table, "'Oxytocin'?"

Cadance shrugged her wings, "The guidebook said that shiftling names use biology terms, and Oxytocin is the hormone that makes us feel love. It fits the theme, doesn't it?"

The student was about to remark but decided against it. She leaned back on her seat and crossed her hooves.

"Fine."

***

Sunset's character rolled his eyes and gestured a dismissive wave.

"Magnar the Crimson. You may call me Magnar. I am a wizard."

The centaur, Magnar, seemed to be a rather... aloof individual. He does seem to be rather well-equipped, however, so you carried on anyway.

Celestia's character adjusted her wing grip on her lute before finishing off the introductions.

"AND- er, ahem. I'm Golden Feather, a bard. Uh, my friends call me Goldie?"

***

An encouraging nod from Daybreaker caused the monarch to do a small hoof-pump. This did not go unnoticed by the other players, as Cadance could be seen giggling at the sight.

Sunset slumped onto the table and buried her face in her forelegs, "This is gonna be a loooong night..."

The projected layout once again changed. This time showing only a small section of a cave system's layout that wasn't visible to the characters in a circular formation.

***

It had taken you some time to find, but you have finally reached the first of the three known caves as informed by the mare. You noted that it was a medium-sized cavern, with vines growing along its rocky entrance.

"Well, here goes nothing."

Each of you prepared your spells and equipment as you entered. With your magical lights showing the way as you weave through stalagmites and uneven terrain. The thrumming of the rain outside faded as you went deeper.

You roamed among the pitch-black darkness as you searched for the lost ponies. Yet after a considerable amount of time looking behind geological formations and calling out to them, it was starting to become strikingly clear that there was likely nopony to be found there.

That is, until you heard a rumbling sound echoing from a nearby chamber.

Do you wish to leave this cave, and head to the next one? Or do wish to further investigate this unexpected discovery?

***

"Yeah, no, that's definitely a sleeping monster, and I'm not planning on losing this early on."

Sunset commented while resting her head on her hoof.

Unfortunately for her, it seemed like her fellow players weren't so keen on leaving just yet.

Raven raised a hoof, "All in favour of investigating, say 'Aye'."

Both princesses raised their own hooves in agreement.

"Aye. / Aye!"

The three of them then turned to the student, harboring various expressions ranging from neutral indifference to tentative relief.

Sunset put a hoof to her forehead and slowly dragged it down her face. She looked to Daybreaker, who only replied with a silent shrug.

The young mare shook her head and murmured to herself.

"Stupid democracy..."

***

The four of you agreed, for the most part, to investigate the source of the odd noise. You sneakily trod over to the chamber with your spells ready, hoping that they won't be necessary.

As you got closer, you realized that the sound was starting to resemble... snoring? With each step you took, it only got louder and louder.

Once you have reached the entryway, the four of you stuck yourselves to the rocky wall and craned your necks beyond the entrance, trying to see beyond the reach of your lights.

***

Daybreaker projected another image with her magic. The players noted that it didn't seem to resemble a pony, or any typical race or species, for that matter.

The blob of magical light slowly coalesced to form what at first appeared to be... star constellations? A deep blue background began to form behind the constellations and enveloped each one.

Just what could this-

Sunset threw her hooves in the air, "I knew it!" she pointed a hoof back down toward the completed projection, "I freaking knew it!"

Cadance tapped her chin as she examined the projection closely.

"Huh... didn't the pony from earlier say that there aren't any animals bigger than a badger in this forest?" the young alicorn muttered.

***

Your breath hitched as you gazed upon the slumbering form of a massive Ursa Minor. Its deep snores reverberated throughout the entire chamber, shaking you to the bone.

You continued to observe it with both fear and curiosity. From the faint blue glow of its fur, it was clearly an Ursa Minor, which meant that it was incredibly likely an Ursa Major, who no doubt would be its parent, was also nearby.

And yet... you could not see any signs of the titanic star-beast anywhere within the same chamber.

Turning back to the sleeping Ursa, you noticed the movement of a small, shadowy figure near the beast's drooling mouth. You strained your eyes and directed your lights in a way that wouldn't disturb it and soon spotted...

***

The players leaned closer toward the projection as a small, yellow figure crawled from underneath the Ursa's neck fur. All four of them looked at curiously, wondering what it was.

With a quiet grunt, a small yellow-coated filly with a red mane and a large bow on her head turned towards the players with a look of shock and relief. She waved at them to get their attention before quickly gesturing toward the sleeping Ursa.

***

"You've gotta be kidding me..."

Your eyes widened as you noticed a small filly trying to get your attention. She tried to say something to you, but it was clear that she didn't want to wake the slumbering beast.

You motioned her to come, but it seemed like she couldn't. The filly pointed towards her hind legs and struggled for a bit before looking back at you.

It didn't take long for you to understand that she was stuck under the Ursa's jaw.

What do you do?

***

Celestia turned to her fellow players, "I believe the answer is rather obvious."

Raven nodded in agreement, "Of course. But I think it would be wise if we send the stealthiest of us to rescue the filly, while the rest will keep watch of the Ursa."

***

Magnar, Timber, and Goldie turned towards Oxyn, who was still captivated by the sight of the slumbering beast.

The three nodded to each other before Timber tapped her withers with a hoof.

The shiftling jumped and whipped her head around. Her faintly glowing eyes lit up the stag's face as she did so.

She stared at her party members for a moment and heaved a sigh.

"Alright... but I better get a bigger cut!"

***

The others looked at Cadance with expressions of awe and utter bewilderment. Of all the things they had expected her to say...

"What? That's something she'd say." the young alicorn refuted.

Celestia nodded halfheartedly, "I see..."

Daybreaker, seemingly ignoring the whole thing, levitated a green D20 towards the center of the table.

"If you are still confused by how this works, I can do the calculations for you. Don't worry."

Cadance nodded and lifted the die in her magic. She shook it for a moment before flicking it away. The die tumbled and landed on a...

[17]

The young princess looked up towards the DM with a tentative smile.

"That... that's good, right?"

Daybreaker showed her confirmation with an interested glance. The obscured mare nodded and continued her narration. She projected a simplified avatar of Oxyn and animated it according to the situation.

***

The party agreed that Oxyn should be the one who will sneak in. Shiftlings were naturals in stealth and espionage, after all. It was quite obvious, given the available options.

The ranger carefully crept towards the sleeping beast. Her chitinous hooves barely made any noise as she made her way closer. The others kept a watchful eye on the Ursa, preparing to warn her of any sudden developments that she couldn't have noticed.

Soon enough, she finally reached the squirming filly without alerting the Ursa.

Oxyn gave the filly a small wave and paused in thought.

***

Cadance tapped her chin in thought as she tried to figure out what to do next. She could try to move the Ursa's jaw, but that could cause it to awaken. There was also the possibility of pulling the filly out directly, but that could hurt her, and she'd feel really guilty if that happened. Even if the filly wasn't real.

Sunset, feeling impatient of the young alicorn's indecisiveness, smacked a hoof on the table.

***

"Come on! Just grab her and run!"

***

Cadance was about to give an irritated reply but stopped when she heard Daybreaker's disturbingly sinister chuckle. It seemed like she wasn't the only one who noticed it as well.

Celestia looked to the DM curiously but refrained from saying anything to avoid getting silenced.

***

Timber and Goldie gave Magnar a baffled look. The centaur himself had slapped both of his hands over his mouth in surp-

***

Sunset shot up from her seat and jabbed a hoof toward Daybreaker, "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

In response, the DM gave her a devious, toothy grin. The young mare could feel herself shudder for some reason.

She turned toward Celestia first, who replied with a hesitant shrug and smile. Sunset then glanced toward Raven, whose expression instantly answered all her questions.

The student threw herself back onto her chair as she heaved a lengthy sigh of resignation.

***

Oxyn quickly turned around to see the shocked looks of her party members. The three of them gestured to her to rush the procedure.

She turned back, only to see a freed filly quickly running past her.

"Run! Save yerselves!"

How unfortunate. It seems like Magnar's shout had awakened the previously slumbering Ursa. Oxyn could feel its warm breath right behind her neck, nearly blowing away her cloak with each exhale.

***

Cadance looked to Daybreaker with concern, "Is this the part where we-"

"It's the part where you run, yes."

The DM paused for a moment, savoring the satisfaction of messing with her players.

"Or..."

Celestia leaned closer, "'Or'?"

Daybreaker levitated three more D20s and dropped them in front of their respective players.

"You could... roll for initiative. I heard Ursa pelt sell for quite a lot of gold." the obscured mare continued calmly, seemingly uncaring of her players' dismay.

Raven hummed in thought, "The risk is incredibly high, and we're still severely under-leveled. I don't think we should."

Celestia nodded. "Indeed. And why would we want to strike down a lone Ursa Minor? I don't think I would be able to continue the quest knowing we just took the life of what is essentially a cub."

Cadance seemed to agree as well, while Sunset opted to stay silent.

The DM refrained from rolling her eyes, "Very well."

'Damn ponies...'

***

In a flash, Oxyn ran back towards the group, with the enraged Ursa hot on her hooves. The four of you quickly scrambled and ran after the filly, who thankfully hadn't gone too far from your sight.

You ran as fast as you could, the beat of your hoof steps echoing throughout the now violently rumbling cavern. The Ursa roared in fury, which only encouraged you to run faster.

Unable to contain your curiosity, you glanced back at the charging beast behind you.

It was getting closer, and closer with each stride of its gigantic legs.

***

Raven clicked her tongue, "Is the Ursa a male or female?"

Daybreaker looked to her curiously, "Uh, male, I suppose?" she asked. Leaving out her next question of 'why?' for later. This could be interesting.

The secretary nodded, "Roll me my dice, please."

The DM complied by levitating her dice and lightly throwing it in her direction.

[19]

[6]

Raven adjusted her glasses and looked back up to the magical projection of her fleeing party.

"That settles it, then."

The royal secretary pointed a hoof toward the Ursa, "I cast..."

***

Timber abruptly slid to a stop, causing his party members to look back in bafflement. The stag whirled around to face their pursuer and looked at it defiantly.

His antlers crackled with bright green energy, a mighty spell prepared to be released at a moment's notice. He confidently stomped a hoof on the ground and snorted, another sign of blazing defiance.

"I cast..."

The magic coalesced into the form of two orbs orbiting each other between his antlers. Arcs of magical energy occasionally leapt from each branch.

"TESTICULAR TORSION!"

***

It was at that moment that Daybreaker finally broke her 'Mysterious Dungeon Master' persona, mainly due to the fact that she had thrown herself onto the floor, madly cackling after Raven had casted her... spell.

In fact, she thought it was so funny that she started to roll around next to her toppled seat, whilst clutching her stomach. This, unfortunately, also caused the set of illusions that she had been keeping up all this time to warp and contort.

But not before having it show the Ursa pulling back his paws to hold his 'precious jewels' and roaring in pain, before dissipating into thin air.

The others also seemed to have their own reactions. They were not exactly 'good' reactions, mind you, but they were very appropriate for the situation.

Sunset was in the middle of sipping her cup of tea when the secretary called out her spell. Needless to say, all of that tea was now decorating the table, and, much to the young prodigy's embarrassment, most of Celestia's face and mane as well.

Celestia, however, hadn't shown any reaction whatsoever. Her eyes were locked on to the only earth pony in the room, pupils so contracted they could be mistaken for pinholes. Even getting sprayed with hot tea from another pony's mouth didn't seem to affect her.

Cadance, on the other hoof, was left with her jaw agape. The young alicorn also appeared to be fiercely blushing, with her eyes looking back and forth at the chaos that had just erupted.

Raven, who had seemingly kept her composure throughout everything, only held a satisfied look on her face.

Slowly, with a shaking hoof, still giggling to herself like a madmare, Daybreaker pulled herself up and readjusted her seat wit her magic. She looked at her players with a wobbly smile and tried to collect herself to address them.

"Aheh... let's- heh, let's continue this next week, yes?"

Sitting upon her throne, with scrying screens monitoring the current geothermal and atmospheric heat of various regions in the world, and one large screen overlooking a paused Ogres & Oubliettes campaign, along with a bowl of fruit slices and a glass of cider floating beside her, Opaline Arcana bore a look of utter confusion, bewilderment, shock, and befuddlement all at once.

She dismissed her main screen with a flaming flash of her horn, before uttering a single word.

"What?"