For the Love of Cake

One moment Flutershy was in Twilight’s library which was wonderfully quiet and smelled of ink and paper and hazelnut coffee. The next she was somewhere. It was colder, air-conditioned, and filled with bright, happy chatter. It smelled sweet and crisp, like tables of pastries and champagne. When she opened her eyes, that was exactly what she was. However, that still didn’t answer anything.

Discord’s magic was fun and exciting, but sudden travel like that did sometimes make her tummy upset. It was a disconcerting feeling, to exist in one place and then suddenly to be in another. He stood before her beaming, mischievous, up to something.

“Where are we, Discord? What is all this?”

They were in a long hall, and it was decorated like a party. There were balloons and streamers, tables draped in pretty tablecloths and piled high with food and drinks, sculptures made of ice, and a quartet playing music in the corner. The dress she wore was comfortable, made of silky and stretchy material, and the skirt swished pleasantly, but it was elegant. Everypony was dressed well like they were at a high afternoon tea or a country club golf championship. They were in little groups of two, making unmistakable lovey-dovey eyes at one another.

“Fluttershy, you’re never going to believe this. This is an exclusive little gathering just outside of Ponyville; a veritable catering taste test and free sample-athon! There is just one catch, you have to be engaged.”

“Then why are we here? Neither of us are engaged.”

“See, that’s the beauty of it. We’re going to pretend.”

“Pretend?” She repeated, feeling something flip in her stomach. “No, no. Discord, we can’t do that.”

“Why not? We’re not hurting anypony. We’re helping.”

“Helping? How exactly are we helping?”

“Think of it, Fluttershy. This place is filled with choices.” With a snap of his fingers, two pony-like sock puppets appeared on the ends of his paws. He used them to speak in a high falsetto and baritone. “‘What kind of cake shall we have? Vanilla? Lemon? Chocolate? Red velvet?’ ‘Hey wait a minute, red velvet and chocolate are just the same. One just has red dye.’ ‘They are not the same! Take that back!’ ‘They are too the same, and frankly, I think you’re dumb for thinking otherwise.’ ‘I can’t believe I wanted to marry you!’”

“Where would we come into in all of this?”

“We could prevent that kind of fight from even happening. We both try the pina colada cake and loudly talk about how great it is, and bing bang boom the young couple chooses the objectively correct cake, fight avoided, happily ever after.”

“They have pina colada cake?”

“Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy,” he tutted, snapping the puppets away. He made himself small and wrapped around her shoulder like a fur stole. “They have everything here. Every flavor you can imagine, and made by the best of the best from all over Equestria. Treats have been flown in from Manehatten, Appleloosa, Canterlot just to name a few. The best part? No one from Ponyville is here, at least not physically. Mr and Mrs Cake did provide a few sweets.” He snapped again and returned to full size. “That way no one, uh, you know, thinks we’re engaged.”

“I wouldn’t care what anyone thought, Discord. I just don’t feel good about deceiving others.”

“You wouldn’t?” He regarded her a long moment, and she thought perhaps she had something weird or upsetting. “Anyway, you’re the Element of Kindness not of Honesty, and I don’t see Applejack anywhere. Although, there are some of her family’s world-famous apple cider here. I think the kind thing to do, would be to help me help these poor ponies make the best choices possible for their special days. Oh, come on, Fluttershy. Don’t make me do the puppy eyes again, you know I will.”

He was trying to manipulate her, and she didn’t appreciate that, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t working a little. She would be lying, but it was ultimately a harmless lie. However, she was unsure if they could be helpful.

“Could I have everypony’s attention, please? The taste testing is about to begin, so we need to ensure you are all signed in and have your cute little nametags. If anyone still needs to get signed in please come find me, and I’ll make sure you get the complimentary gift bag!” A white and pink pony with a towering cake cutie mark called from the center of the room.

“Please say yes, Fluttershy.”

He dropped down to one knee, taking her hoof in his paws. The big ham. He was trying to be good, trying to be the best Discord he could be. He could have just kidnapped her and forced her to do this with his magic, but he had been polite. Polite for him, anyway. Even now he was waiting for her permission. She let out a big, unsure breath.

“Ok. Let’s do it.”

“Yes! Oh yes, thank you. You won’t regret this. Oh, we’re going to have so much fun!”

“But!”

“But? What but?”

“But… let’s be mindful of the other ponies that are actually engaged. Let’s promise to not take the first or last of anything, and to not cause too much chaos.”

“Boring, but deal. Now hurry up, before we miss everything!” Discord quickly ushered her across the room to the welcome table. A severe-looking mare sat behind the desk, looking up from a wedding magazine to examine the pair with her dark gray eyes.

“Name?” She asked. Fluttershy felt herself shrink under the older pony’s gaze, but Discord beamed and leaned down casually onto her desk, contorting his body.

“Discord. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He cordially held out a paw for the unimpressed mare. She glanced at it, then looked pointedly at Fluttershy instead.

“And your name?”

“Fluttershy,” she mumbled softly, wishing she could hide in her hair.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Oh, it’s… it’s Fluttershy?”

“Hon, you’re gonna need to speak up. What is your name?”

“This is Fluttershy, my good lady. My fiance.”

“I assumed as much.”

The mare, a unicorn, used her magic to fill out the paperwork. Fluttershy contemplated the word, fiance. There was a lot attached to that. So much responsibility but also so much promise and hope. That word could be the building block for the future. Was it acceptable to be throwing it around so casually? Her thoughts were interrupted when the mare slapped a sticker onto her chest, her name printed neatly on it.

“There you go. Take a bag and go find yourself a seat, the event will begin in a few minutes.”

Discord tipped his top hat, scooped up a baggie, and led Fluttershy away from the mare. The unicorn rolled her eyes and returned to reading her magazine.

“Discord, don’t you think we’re a little… overdressed?”

The draconequus paused rifling through the bag to regard himself. “What, you don’t like the suit? Does it make me look fat?”

“No, silly,” she said with a laugh. The whole situation still didn’t fully agree with her, but he sure knew how to defuse a situation and make her smile. “You just look like you’re ready to stand at the altar today.”

“That’s the point, isn’t it? Am I too convincing? I suppose you are right. We’re not quite matching the vibe. Hang on.” He snapped and their attire changed again. This time she was wearing a soft, green dress and he had a simple green plaid suit to match. It looked like they were ready for a fancy, outdoor picnic. “Better?”

“Better. Did you get anything good in your bag?”

“Our bag, my dear. Remember, we’re engaged now, so we better start acting like it.”

“But it’s just you and me right now.”

“Better safe than sorry. We’re in enemy territory now.” He snapped, and suddenly his face was painted in camouflage. “Eyes and ears are everywhere.”

“Discord, I’m losing the plot a little. I thought we were here to help ponies, and now they are our enemies?”

He pressed his lips together, considering. “You’re just too rational for me, Fluttershy.” Another snap restored him to his picnic facade. “But I like that about you. I’d never be able to pull off a move like today without your grounded nature.”

“I like you too, Discord. I’d never even think to do something like this without you.”

Discord’s eyebrows perked up in surprise, his beaming smile faltering a moment only to be replaced with a softer, more genuine one. “Then let’s go get some cake, huh? They have a cake from the Crystal Empire and I want to see what I’ll need to turn my teeth into to be able to crack that bad boy.”

an undisclosed amount of time later…

“Girls!” Pinkie Pie was breathless as she slammed the door to Twilight’s home open. The other ponies were startled by her sudden arrival, having been in the middle of a game. Pinkie had been gone for a short while, and the others were enjoying a quiet and contemplative board game while sharing the latest town gossip.

“Pinkie, darling, whatever is the matter?” Asked Rarity, stroking her friend on the back as she gulped down lungfuls of air.

“Fluttershy…! Discord…!”

“Yeah? What about them?” Rainbow Dash zipped over to her friend’s side.

“Don’t tell me you found them?” Twilight asked in disbelief.

“Yep!” Pinkie sucked in a few more frantic breaths before continuing. “I can’t give away my sources, as I’ve been sworn to secrecy, but a few little birdies told me that I would find them just outside of town. So I did, but they were in this great big building. There was some kind of event going on, so I went, but they didn’t let me in because it was an event for only couples.”

She waggled her eyebrows significantly, but the others only regarded her blankly.

“Alrighty, I’ll bite,” said Applejack with a shake of her head. “What kind of event?”

“A wedding planning event! A big shindig with cake tasting, floral arrangements, custom monogramming!”

This earned the reaction she had been looking forward to. Some gasped, some muttered, and all looked surprised. Twilight stepped forward, fluttering her wings to diffuse the situation.

“Settle down, everypony. Pinkie Pie, it’s not fair to assume anything about Discord and Fluttershy’s intentions. Discord is the embodiment of chaos, after all. It is nearly impossible to understand his motivations. I don’t know how Fluttershy can spend so much time with someone so… chaotic.”

“But I have proof!”