Time Turner's sides heaved in and out as he crested the edge of the small ridgeline overlooking the valley far below. The sun had not quite yet reached the horizon, and the valley was tinted in monochrome amber light. His fur had become lathered in sweat under his saddlebags, and his hooves were dusty and gray.

His little companion had tailed him up the mountain, following close behind. At first, she had stuck to the trail, scurrying closely along the mountain face as he continued to trek up the slope. As the stallion climbed higher, she had perched on his back and buried herself tight in his brown cocoa mane. It was as if the avian was afraid to fall.

As Time Turner reached the ledge, he retrieved the flowers from his saddlebags and released the straps. He let the sack fall to its side, walked over to the edge, and sat down. His feathered friend darted out of his mane and took a perch on a rock by the mountainside. He placed the tulips just in front of him, right along the edge of the cliff, where the ridge suddenly ended in a jagged and rough radian.

The stallion lowered his head and gently pawed the fractured ground as he cleared his throat. His gentle, baritone voice cracked and broke as he spoke.

“Ha-happy Birthday, Roseluck.”

“It has been quite some time, yes?” He drew in a slow, measured breath, “I… brought you flowers. Red and yellow—your favorite colors.”

Time Turner sighed as he continued, “I had wanted to grow roses, but I could not seem to make them grow like you did. They would just wilt and shrivel up. I suppose I lack the gentle finesse of a flower pony.”

His eyes held no joy as he let out a mirthless chuckle. “I wish I had learned more from you in the garden. Perhaps then I could possibly grow something myself instead. I make a poor botanist.”

He heaved a sigh and lay down, head on hooves in the rocky dirt, staring out into the distance.

“I… I miss you, Rose.”

“I miss you so much.”

A droplet darkened the stallion’s foreleg.

He sniffled and closed his eyes, “I miss staring into your chartreuse green eyes. I miss laying my head between your big fluffy ears as we cuddled. I miss your barking laugh when I would tell a joke. I miss your impish grin and waggling brow when you would enact some type of mischief on me.”

“Your voice—” he drew a shaky breath, “—I would give everything to hear your voice again.”

He opened his eyes and gazed out to the golden horizon.

“I had stopped taking commissions and started drinking. The girls would come to visit me occasionally. They would try to cheer me up—take me out to lunch or breakfast sometimes. Otherwise, I would just stare into your garden. Hours would turn into days, days would turn into weeks, and weeks would turn into months. For an eternity, I sat there and watched your garden die.”

Time Turner shook as a convulsion shot through him.

Taking a shallow breath, he continued, “After the first year, the only one left who would visit was Daisy. One night I found a bottle of Appleloosan whiskey in the closet that you must have gotten for our anniversary. I cannot recall what happened precisely. My memory only started working again when I woke up in Ponyville General a few days later.”

“I remember Daisy standing over me when I finally came to. She said ‘I can't watch you destroy yourself anymore.’ Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she said, ‘You aren't the only one who lost someone they loved. I've tried to help you, Turner. I had hoped that, eventually, you would pull yourself together and move on. But you're like a ghost. You haunt all her favorite places. Eat the food she loved. Listen to her music. It's almost as if you’re trying to become her. That was bad enough! But then to run around Ponyville chasing some figment of your imagination in a drunken stupor? We had to have the guard come out and take you. You wouldn't stop yelling her name!’”

“She grabbed the vermillion tulips someone had sent me and hurled them at the wall above my head. ‘You’re a disgrace, Turner! You're an insult to her memory and a pathetic excuse of a stallion. Now why don't you make like a real ghost and disappear.’ She glared at me with a fury I had never seen from her before.”

“As she left, she said, ‘I don’t want to see you ever again.’ That was the last time I saw her.”

He sighed and idly drew lines in the dirt. “Being the town drunk had thoroughly ruined my standing in the community. I expended most of the savings on alcohol, and I started taking ‘odd jobs’ from anypony who still held a modicum of pity for me. Nopony wanted my designs anymore, not that I could stand the sound of ticking clocks regardless.” He glanced at his saddlebags lying a few feet away.

“Did you know that, Rose? I can feel the tick of time as the planet hurtles through the universe. I feel the prick of every moment that I have been forced to exist without you. Do you know what that feels like, Rose? Every second is agony. Every minute, a century. Every hour, a millennium. Every day, an eternity.”

“Being drunk was a convenient cover, but there is not enough ethanol on Equus to excise the pain. I used to be so angry. I was angry at the girls, I was angry at Celestia, I was angry at Luna…”

“I was angry at you…”

“I was angry at you.”

He rolled to his back and stared at the deep orange sky above him.

“How could you have left such a gaping hole in me? Why would you steal my heart and soul like that? Why did you have to die!?”

Time Turner growled as he sprang to his hooves. He stomped the ground and clenched his eyes tight.

“WHY DID I KILL YOU!?”

His bellow bounced off the mountain and filled the valley below. Birds in the forest flew from their perches in the canopy as the echo rolled through the trees, the cardinal cowering behind the boulder that she had perched on.

Time Turner let his hinds fall to the dirt, and he slumped forward. His neck bowed, his head inclined to the ground. Teardrops hit the dust at his hooves and left specks of mud in the dirt. Tremors and convulsions raced up and down his body, threatening to collapse at any moment.

“I k-killed you… F-from the m-moment we departed the cabin that morning, I h-had killed you. I just… did not know it yet.”

“I let you take the lead, just as you always insist. I loved how you would prance around and tease me, egging me on with your antics. I was too distracted to even think about the edge of the cliff. I should’ve known we were too close. I should’ve tested the soil. I should’ve waited longer for the rain to dry. I should’ve chosen a different spot. I should’ve—”

The stallion opened his eyes and looked up. His blurry vision traced the jagged shear line.

“I should’ve saved you.”

Tears streamed down Time Turner’s cheeks as he said, “I can’t remember what your smile looks like. All I see now is the moment of terror on your face when the ridgeline gave way. That piercing wail still haunts me. Even Luna is unable to banish it for long.”

The cardinal poked her head out from her hiding place and glided down to land behind the stallion. It cautiously edged its way over to sit beside him. A choked sob wrenched its way out from the stallion’s throat. The little songbird nuzzled into his side as he shook.

Time Turner gasped at the touch of the cardinal. “Oh Rose, my rosa rubignosa, I can’t live without you. You brought so much love and joy into my life. Everything is dark and cold now. You were the light of my life, as bright as the sun!”

“I loved you with all my heart…”

“And then you were gone.”

Time took in a shuddering breath as the sun dipped below the horizon. The entire countryside was plunged into darkness as the moon began its ascent. He looked down the jagged cliff face onto the rocks and moonlit valley below. The broken stallion let out a keening whine as he scooped the cardinal up to his chest.

“Rose,” he whispered.

“...”

“Did I ever tell you I was afraid of the dark?”

Author's Note

Huge shout out to RadBunny for pre-reading this! Without them, I wouldn't have had the courage to post this.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Fun fact: This was actually written before the prequel Petrichor