Chaos Redacted

It was a beautiful night. Full moon, a field of flowers in bloom, and long grass swayed in a gentle breeze. Stars twinkled above as a nightscape of sound brought a serene sense of harmony and peace to one’s ears. Harmony in its purest form.

Discord hated it. It was awful.

Luna’s touch was so obviously imprinted onto everything about the scene, from the brightness of the night’s celestial bodies to the chords that every animal crooned in the dark of the night. The natural chaos of the land brought to heel. It was painful to watch. What he wouldn’t give to twist it even just a little.

Add an off-putting bassoon to the mix, blaring disjointed and grating notes. Have a few of the stars be a puke green or sickly yellow instead of the current oh-so-perfect white. Maybe cause the breeze to pick up speed, scatter the orderly-arranged flower petals of the field into the air to chaotically blow around in a tornado-like pattern.

There was true beauty in the chaotic happenstance of nature. Something scenic and wonderful that no pony could possibly conceive of in their little control-freak-wired brains.

Alas, Discord was reformed. He had, ugh, self control and didn’t do things so randomly… in public. Not unless he was certain no one would be hurt in any conceivable way. A downside to this whole ‘being a good draconequus’ schtick that he was doing recently. He was loath to admit it, but he enjoyed the switch, if only because it came with the best possible benefit, which was having friends. That said, it also came with the. Worst. Possible. Thing. And unlike that diva, he meant it.

Having friends.

Discord was immortal. Entropy and chaos would have to be reduced to absolute Order before he died. Sure, there were some short-term mistakes he could make that would at least decrease his power in some capacity, but so long as a single leaf somewhere fell in a random way or somepony wanted to try their hoof at a card game, he would exist in some form. Ponies, in stark contrast, were not.

There were alicorns, but… well, while Twilight Sparkle could provide some good company occasionally, lovebutt, sunbutt, and moonbutt were insufferable and too far gone to course correct. They were proponents of Order until it utterly failed them in every way, and then they still stuck to those principles when the obvious solution was to turn to disOrder. It was why he hoped the youngest found her own path, if only so she wouldn’t become so obnoxiously boring.

Other spirits also resided somewhere within Equestria, beyond, and beyond. Dimensional constraints were optional to him and he never liked willingly taking on any form of chains. However, most fell somewhere on the spectrum of boring, not interested, actually evil, and not worth associating with. Of the few that he could stand to be with, that required a jump from the reality of Equestria and… he couldn’t leave.

There were several reasons, but a major one was because he considered himself to have three close friends and an abundance of acquaintances, most of which he could not bother to name. What was important were the prior which was populated solely by Fluttershy, Big MacIntosh, and Spike.

Spike he was unconcerned with. He would live a long time and, if the magical entanglement between him and Twilight was to be believed, he was going nowhere anytime soon. They would be playing tabletop for centuries together… even if Discord had to drag him out of a hole to play with him (He could recognize the growing dread and loneliness in the drake and hoped to be able to help him weather that loss. He was also surprised he cared enough to, ugh, plan for it).

That left Big Mac and Fluttershy. Both were mortals. Both had an expiration date, and, against his better judgement, Discord kept checking the clock. It was the only situation in which Discord desperately wished he could just make the entropy go away (he could, but the consequences and pain to them would be too much).

With friends came empathy and a desire to keep them close, a curse he now bore and wished he could remove.

But the memories would always be there. Along with the regret and grief and pain and—

This wasn’t a useful train of thought. He had only one entity to blame these dreadful introspections upon. The one stealing time from Fluttershy’s clock and taking away what little he had to enjoy with his friend. His first friend.

“I don’t like you,” Discord declared.

Monarch of Ripples looked at him in the skin of his friend, Fluttershy. She had the same features. Pink mane, Yellow fur, and a butterfly Cutie Mark. However, up close, everything became a bit twisted. The mane became butterflies, the glint of light in her eyes looked more insectoid then pony and the fur was the wrong texture, granular and sharp instead of the usual softness.

“You have noted this on multiple occasions.” Monarch tilted her head to one side. Double-lidded eyes blinked. “We are surprised you have not acted on your Hatred.”

It spoke quieter than Fluttershy, the barest wisp of sound lost in the wind. It was annoying.

“No capital, thank you.” He hissed the last two words, displeasure clear on his face. “It is bog standard hatred. I am nothing like you things.”

“Are you not from another place? A world far away from this one?”

A sharp laugh. Discord’s teeth turned to knives and clashed together, errant sparks shooting off the point of collision. “Despite what my form suggests, my species happens to be native to this world… if not numerous. Unlike you, I am not an invader to this plane.”

“But are you not an invader to others?”

“Visitor.” Discord conjured a pair of novelty sunglasses onto his face. “Even when unwanted, I do not interfere to the same degree as you Malformants. Certainly, I spread some inherent chaos even by mere existence, but nowhere near on the same scale that you lot choose to do.”

“I would think you would enjoy the chaos.”

He snarled, sunglasses melting off his face. “No. Not this kind of chaos.”

Before Monarch could reply, Discord shoved a sock into her mouth.

“Let my stance be crystal clear.” His skin turned to faceted gemstone, a multicoloured mess of quartz. “I change others’ forms. I torture them for my amusement. I change reality itself to bend to my whimsical sensibilities. But never have I killed. Not even indirectly.”

She spat out the sock. “Why?”

“Chaos is the definition of life. If there is none, how can there be chaos?” Discord glared down at the monster. “I am not in the business of self harm. I love myself far too much for that.”

Monarch nodded. “I can understand the sentiment. A surprising amount of logic from an entity known for disorder.”

“Logic can be just as nonsensical as randomness. It all depends on perspective and individual circumstance. Regardless, I will once more demand that you step out of my friend’s body so I may blast you into ash.” He conjured a bazooka from the ether, placing it over one shoulder and readying to fire.

“You know as well as I do that my continued survival is no choice of mine,” Monarch replied.

“You don’t have to listen to her.”

“Neither do you.”

“…I despise your kind.” Discord crossed his arms and pouted.

“Not going to—”

“You’re all so gross.” Discord waved a hand dismissively. “Simply awful. The worst possible things imaginable.”

“I see we have moved on,” Monarch remarked. “And I agree. We are certainly not a natural occurrence of this world.”

“You are not, and you should leave before you assist The Dealer any more than you already have.”

“The Dealer?”

“You received some form of guidance toward a portal in your world, did you not?” Monarch nodded. “That was The Dealer. Title, both capitalized. It's important you remember that. They draw-in gullible saps from other worlds and toss them into this place to run amok.”

“Why?”

“To achieve the grossest, most disturbing, most awful possible thing.”

“…Which is?”

“Order. Perfect Order.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Nor should you. Just know that Equestria is caught in the crossfire amongst a spat between jerkish losers.” Discord blew raspberries. Literally. “The Dealer just has the upper hand… for now.”

“And what have you done to combat it?” Monarch asked.

“What do you mean?” Discord narrowed his eyes. “My mere existence plays against their plan. I’m literally chaos. Redacted was even partially my idea… even if it's run by a being of Order.”

“Well…” Monarch made a big show of thinking “Why not interfere directly?”

A bark of laughter. “Are you mad? Me? Interfering?” He laughed again, his head rolling along his arms. “This is a spat on a cosmic level. Such interference would allow untold consequences by granting free reign to multiple entities vying for a slice of the forthcoming pie.”

“Is the—”

“Watch your capitals,” Discord interrupted. He conjured a drinkbox and shoved a straw into it.

“You’re right. Apologies. The Dealer is a cosmic entity like yourself right?”

“Yes.” He slurped loudly from the straw.

“And his portal creation is direct intervention on their part, right?”

“Of course.” Another slurp.

“Does that not mean that you, as a cosmic entity and natural resident to Equestria, have the right to be The Dealer’s consequences?”

Discord spat out his drink.

“You. Are. So. Right!” Discord squeed, a portion of the sky breaking into glass pieces and shattering into dust on the ground below. “I could interfere plenty with how much The Dealer has overstepped. A wonderful suggestion, you awful abomination!” He swung an arm with a wink.

“You already knew you could do that, didn’t you?”

“Obviously.” Discord rolled a pair of eyes in one clawed hand. “I’m just hesitant to do so since that would give them justification to overreach into Ponyville.”

“Can’t the Element Bearers not handle it themselves?”

“Of course, but—” A frown “—They are mortal.”

“So your inaction is drawn from fear toward the loss of your friends?”

“Essentially.”

“…Let’s look at this from a different angle. How bad will it get if you continue to protect them and ignore what’s happening around you?”

Silence. It was heavy and painful. Burdens that Discord never wanted, but was tricked into carrying. For once, the lack of words managed to convey more than he ever possibly could.

“…A few changes,” Discord relented. “Just to tip the scales ever-so-slightly into our favour. The only question is the scale of them.”

“Have you considered the butterfly effect?”

“Small changes create bigger consequences?”

“Yes. Just little things. Enough to provide a benefit without drawing the ire of The Dealer. A small few can make a massive difference.”

“…An unlatched door for the twins to escape.” Discord snapped his fingers. “A bubble to assist a detective looking for her friend.” Snap. “Perhaps a blazing spark to make a drastic change.” Snap. “A misplaced item to save someone dear to the one holding everything together.” Snap. “A rusted lock to ensure the escape of an eventual asset to the cause.” Snap. “A letter to bring an important pony home.” Snap.

A moment of silence. Discord thought about his last idea. It was… a lot. Something that would allow no more room for him to operate without giving more lead to The Dealer and any number of others who may wish to interfere. This single moment could either change everything for the better… or make it so much worse.

“…A favour for the Sparkle siblings.”

Discord snapped his fingers.

Reality screeched. It stretched to accommodate the change. A monumental shift that would cause cascading changes that would echo across time and the world itself.

“…Will this save them?” Monarch asked.

A sharp bark of laughter. “Oh, you sweet abomination.

“No amount of Chaos could possibly save them now.”