Twilight was not one for romance, she found that out pretty early on in life, maybe probably around the time she got her cutie mark
She never had what ponies would call 'crushes', for the longest time she just thought that was what ponies would call someone that they were comfortable being around. But no those were just 'friends' apparently
Throughout her life she had mimed attraction until she just eventually gave up. Luckily she never had anypony actually came up to her and confess their love to her, she couldn't imagine the pressure
No, Twilight was completely content with her love of her friends and the pursuit of knowledge
Twenty seven years worth of data compiled in her head, no exceptions, no asterisks, no special conditions
Until...
"TWILIGHT!" Pinkie screamed at her face
Twilight snapped out of her head, and realised reality again, "Whuh- what?"
"You were doing that thing when your face went all dead and stuff" Pinkie face went stale mimicking what she was doing
Twilight eyes went wide and felt her chest tightened as the sudden burst of social interaction thrusted upon her by the pony she was just thinking about
"Oh uh sorry" Twilight rubbed the back of her head, "Were you asking me about something?"
"Nope!" Pinkie said, "Or I was, but I forgot, I'll be back when I remember! La la la la laa" Pinkie bounced off
Twilight sighed, clutching her chest with her hooves. She wasn't oblivious, of course of all ponies it would be Pinkie, she was the exception to everything and apparently that also meant her feelings
Now she just didn't know what to do, these feelings are new to her and very specific. They didn't make any sense in any practical sense, usually she would ask herself questions relating to how she was feeling in an effort to understand the root of it, but for this is just-
Why do you like her? Because its Pinkie
Okay, what was about Pinkie that makes you like her? Because she's nice, bubbly, bouncy, pink?
You've met ponies who were similar to her, why wasn't she attracted to them? They weren't Pinkie
UGHHHH
It feels like she was arguing in bad faith with herself. It feels like dogma, she hates believing in things that just are. But that was just- Pinkie's entire existence!
"Twi?"
Twilight was in reality again, she looked up to see Rainbow flying above her, "Yes Rainbow, what do you need me for?"
Rainbow raised an eyebrow, "I asked why'd you were standing in the corner all alone at a party, again"
"Oh well I-"
"Five minutes ago"
"Oh" Twilight laughed nervously, she coped by taking another sip of her cup, it was empty
"Something bothering you?"
"No!" Twilight exclaimed, she mentally slapped herself for answering so quickly
Rainbow raised an eyebrow, Twilight slumped and mentally cursed Applejack for making her also be able to do that with just a look, "Yes..."
"Is this something you wanna talk about?"
Twilight thought about it for a moment, "Maybe... But I don't know if you could help..."
Rainbow grimaced, "Bring it on, lay it on me"
Twilight bit the bottom of her lip, a growing pit in her stomach, and shivered because a breeze that was colder than it supposed to, passed by from the open front door of Sugarcube Corner
Twilight sighed, "I have a crush on..."
"What?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed louder than she had to
"I have a crush on Pinkie ..."
"Meh meh meh meh, come on Twilight just-"
"I LIKE SOMEPONY!"
"There it is!" Rainbow had her head high, only for realisation to strike her, "Wait what!"
Twilight rolled her eyes, "Told you"
Rainbow's face turned to spiteful determination, "Who is it?"
Twilight's eyes fell on to the floor with a sigh, hoofing the ground. She really felt like this was a bad idea, Rainbow was a rash pony, she thought if she was gonna have this conversation it was going to be Rarity or Fluttershy or-
"It's not me is it?"
"WHAT!"
Twilight had a hoof in her mouth, a few ponies were now staring at them, that was only a decibel or two lower before she went full Canterlot voice. She held still for a couple more moments before they shuffled back in to the crowd. She breathe a sigh of relief and glared back at Rainbow
She snickered, "Is that a yes...?"
She glared harder
"Hey don't blame me, you were the one who went all quiet after I asked you, besides-" She flexed one of her forelegs, "-wouldn't be the first time"
Twilight rolled her eyes with a groan, Dash flew down and stood beside her, "Okay so it's not me... Rarity?"
"No, Rainbow-"
"AJ?"
"No! Rainbow-"
"Pinkie?"
"Rainbow!"
Rainbow smirked, "Got it"
Twilight could only growl, "You don't know that!"
"You didn't say no though"
"That doesn't prove anything!"
Rainbow's smirk evolved to a smarmy grin, "Okay then, is it Pinkie?"
"Rainbow I-"
"Still not saying no~" Rainbow sang, "Just admit it Twi, I'm not gonna judge ya"
Twilight wanted to protest, if only out of principal, but all her frustration towards Rainbow just died at the prospect of getting to talk about her feelings to somepony at least
Twilight breathe out, "Yeah okay fine, it is Pinkie"
"Sweet, alright go on then"
Twilight opened her mouth then closed it, then opened it again and closed it again. She looked at Rainbow, an expectant gaze on her face, looking somewhat bored. Twilight was a bit miffed by that, here she was nervously shuffling her hooves about to share some sensitive subject and Rainbow had the gall to look bored!
She-
"Well?"
"I don't know how to start!" She snapped
Rainbow snickered, "Dear Celestia, you are really bad at this" Rainbow put a hoof over her neck, "Alright here let me get your brain juices flowing" Rainbow was going to noogie her but Twilight put her hoof away
Rainbow snorted, "So, you like Pinkie right, cool awesome! So what you're gonna do right now is- like walk up to her and say 'Pinkie you're totes cool af and I totally gonna want to date you'"
"I am not saying that"
"Just put your own Twilight-y spin to it, something like uhh 'Pinkie Pie I feel that I might have a feelings towards you'" Rainbow said doing a- fine impression of her
But something in that slurred sentence struck her, 'feelings'. She had feelings for her, what does that even mean? Like she knew what it meant but putting it together in a vacuum, it didn't make any sense. 'Feelings for you'. What feelings!?
Okay she was being ridiculous now
"Twi?"
"Hmm?"
"You spaced out again didn't you?" Rainbow got off of her
She tilted her head and shrugged
A grin was creeping up Rainbow's face, "Thinking about Pinkie?"
Twilight mumbled, "I don't know kinda..."
This gave Rainbow a pause, "Something else?"
Twilight breathe in and out, "Rainbow I never... felt like this before"
"Pshh, that's what they all sa-"
"No Rainbow, I - in the most literal sense - never felt like this" Twilight exclaimed, "I've never had a crush, I've never had an infatuation, or even really see me doing all that- romantic- stuff!"
"And right now its all hitting me at once, this is new Rainbow! A brand new set of abstract ideas just now floating around whenever I'm around her, like a cat that just started nesting in my house, I don't know how to feel about her, because I don't know anything about these feelings and-"
Twilight stopped herself, she would've gotten farther had it not that she was about to pass out. Rainbow put a hoof on her shoulder
"Easy now Twilight, breath"
In and out. In and out. In.... and out
A silence befell them
"So yeah, that's what I wanted to say"
Rainbow recovered quickly, and tapped her chin in thought. Then snorted, "Wow, that's some pretty loaded stuff"
Twilight sighed, "Told you..."
"Hey hey now, I didn't say that I can't help" Rainbow said, she tapped her chin again with a hoof
"Why don't you go ask her?"
That broke Twilight train of not thoughts, "Who?"
"Pinkie"
Twilight pursed her lips in a grimace and raised an eyebrow at Rainbow
She rolled her eyes, "Not ask her out, ask her about- You know about..." She gestured her hooves at her, "This"
That... Stumped Twilight. Rainbow was sorta right, if anypony could get a read on odd unfamiliar emotions, the logical choice would be Pinkie. But it just... Feels wrong and a bad idea, and she wanted yo avoid that. Ugh there it is again
Try to make a reasonable argument, "Why not Shy or- or Rarity?"
Rainbow snickered, "Flutters would be as stump as you Twi, constantly second guessing her advice becauss she can't get in your head"
"And Rares well... For date planning she's your gal, but for untangling emotions... Eh"
Drats! Her gut fell as she realised that Rainbow was actually right
"Pinkie ain't got no filter, she tells you how she feels and you can bounce off of that, you know how good she is with feelings"
Twilight scraped the floor with a hoof, feeling thirsty wishing she could get some punch but felt like leaving would be wrong
Rainbow flew down beside her again and bumped her, "Look you don't gotta tell your feelings... Yet. But Pinks is still your friend first and foremost, she got your back"
Twilight looked up eyes parting the sea of ponies, she could across the room was Pinkie laughing heartily at something a half inebriated Fluttershy just said. Her stomach was gone in the abyss and her heart skipped a bit
She took another cope-sip, still empty
Rainbow Dash laughed and punched her side, "Go get em tiger!"
Twilight's idea of 'getting em' apparently involved waiting for everypony to leave
Twilight had 'decided' to stay behind and help Pinkie - and Gummy apparently - clean up. She didn't really give a reason why, Pinkie hadn't asked why, so she felt that she didn't need a reason why
Of course she had one, but after thinking about it really hard, it was stupid to say out loud
Now she was alone - not counting Gummy - with Pinkie...
Now why did that make her nervous?
She didn't really have a plan, just some vague idea of 'asking for advice' and her very own morbid curiosity to know where this trail of emotions lead to driving her
She picked up another crumpled up plastic bottle with her magic, if she had actually concentrated on the task of cleaning up she could probably finish this really quickly. She kinda felt bad for intentionally prolonging her friends clean just for her sake. But... No she can't justify that, she just have to live with it now
"Oh Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed, "I didn't realise you were still here"
Ah so that's why Pinkie wasn't urging her to leave. A response didn't came immediately, because that wasn't a question, it was a statement
"Yeah" She said, with the book side of her brain screaming that that didn't make any sense, "Am I-"
"Oh no no you can stay... if you want" Pinkie said, going back to cleaning "So what's up?"
Okay good, she didn't need to initiate the conversation, but then again...
"I- I- Am I- I didn't stay behind to help just because I had-"
Pinkie giggled, "I know I know Twi, but if you have something you want to talk to me about you could"
"Right okay" Twilight took a breath, She's your friend first and foremost, "I have... A problem..."
Pinkie hummed in acknowledgement
"And it's like... Weird"
"My specialty!"
Twilight weakly chuckled, then thought thoroughly on her next few words, feeling more conscious about what her mouth was doing than what her hooves were do- oof!
"Twilight!"
She hit a wall! This was going swimmingly!
"Are you okay?" Twilight felt Pinkie grabbed a hold of her hoof and pulled her up, she felt sick but in a good way, "Watch where you're going silly billy"
"Uh huh" Twilight replied, "Sorry"
"Wow this weird worry of yours must've really worked you up, here" Pinkie set her on a sitting position like a figurine, "You can just sit riiight here and tell me alllll about your woeful woes"
Twilight shook her head, getting rid off the last of her dizziness, "But Pinkie-"
"Up up nope you're in a doozy and you can't keep focus when you're in a doozy, so just sit right here, your company is already help enough" Pinkie giggled
Pinkie went back to cleaning, and Twilight felt something nice was blasting in her brain. It felt nice having Pinkie fussing over her like that even though she felt bad for not helping anymore but she knew Pinkie wasn't going to let her do anything until she says something. Twilight then realised this might not be the best plan
Twilight now felt self concious on talking about her problems, its like she was giving a presentation, only without the notes, cue cards, and actual presentation. She twiddled her hooves founding it hard again on how to say things
"So like..." Twilight heard her own voice, "Have you ever had like.... new feelings?"
"Oh yeah all the time, why?"
Okay wasn't what she was going for, "Uhm okay no- alright uh-"
Have you- No. Do you- No. Twilight was thinking three sentences ahead without being able to put the first word down and it was driving her crazy!
"Put it to metaphors?"
Pinkie's voice snapped her out of her head, "Huh?"
"Put it to metaphors!" Pinkie repeated, while balancing on top of a tipped over table
"I had a feeling you had a feel-y problem, I always figured that putting your emotions to metaphors helps, it gives you a picture" Pinkie said, "Also you're a booknosed bookworm, I bet you can make up all kinds of metaphors"
Twilight mulled that over, and something actually came to mind, "Okay so like imagine pumpkin spice right"
Pinkie nodded, "You hate pumpkin spice though"
"Yeah, it's apart of the metaphor" Twilight said, "So I hate pumpkin spice, all my life I know I didn't like pumpkin spice, never interested in trying anything with pumpkin spice, until this one pumpkin pie came into my life and it was good"
"All the inner intricacies of tastes that I hate in pumpkin spice was suddenly blended together in this pie in such a way that I actually liked, but I still hated pumpkin spice except for this one very specific pie!"
Wow, that actually worked!
There was a pause, Twilight just realised she made a very elaborate metaphor, "Do you get it?"
"I think I do..." Pinkie said slowly as she grabbed a sponge, "The pumpkin spice is?"
"A feeling, that I have"
"That feeling is..."
Twilight's face heated up, dear Celestia this was embarrassing. The only other time she felt her face this hot was when she was in the entrance exam for CGSU before the rainboom, she felt left out to dry. She let out a breath and blinked a couple of times. This was still Pinkie, she was just talking with Pinkie, she's done that before
"Uh," There it was her voice, "I think- uh heh-" Just spit it out
Pinkie turned around to look at her, and then it felt worse, a good worse, but- Ugh. She tilted her head and Twilight felt her stomach was doing back flips and Sugarcube Corner suddenly didn't have any air ventilation. Pinkie raised an eyebrow and dear Celestia these feelings were choking her
Pinkie opened her mouth but Twilight instinctively made a sound to intercept it, "I-"
Welp you gotta commit to that now Sparkle, "I uh- I think, I like somepony"
Twilight's head automatically returned to the indifferent floor, who had a left over candy wrapper, ew can't have that
"Like like-like somepony?" Pinkie asked as Twilight floated the wrapper towards a trash can
Pinkie's question caused a definition distortion in her head, which trumped her weird feelings for just moment, "What-" Twilight's brain replayed the phrase again, "Oh... Uh"
Twilight heard a gasp. Suddenly a pair of pink hoo- hoo hoo hoooh, dear Celestia she was touching her
She means of course she's touching her, they've hugged before... Dear Celestia they've hugged before!
"Oh my god Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed as Twilight's mind was still - against her own volition - recontextualising her previous hugs with Pinkie which made her miss her cold hooves
"Who's the lucky mare?"
Mare! "Mare!?"
Pinkie stopped buzzing, "Oh or uh Stallion heh... Sorry"
"Put me down first Pinkie" No bad bad Twilight, Pinkie don't- noooooo
Pinkie beamed at Twilight though her eyes still faltered from her mistake and Twilight felt- Twilight wanted to do something for her
"Hehe sorry I- I didn't really know which- I- I- just assumed- because- uhm!"
Twilight settled for a giggle which at least let a little bit of the something that was knocking on her chest out
"It's okay Pinkie"
"But wait you said you never like pumpkin spice"
"Ehh, yeah" Twilight nodded, feeling a weird sort of embarrassment hearing back her long winded metaphor
Pinkie muttering to herself for a split second, then gasped
"Twilight have you never-"
Twilight nodded
Pinkie tapped her chin with a hoof, then she started pacing around, letting out an overexaggerated 'hmm' in the process. Watching this Twilight pursed her lips and forced herself to look down at her hooves, which were not supposed to be this achey right now, stop!
Twilight didn't realised the dopey grin that sneakily took over her face
"That really is a doozy" Pinkie concluded, "You must be feeling all sorts of good-bad, bad-good emotions, all swirling like a- a- puberty!"
A momentary paused in her eternal gushing, Twilight tilted her head in confusion
Pinkie weakly smiled, "I ran out of words, weak joke sorry"
Twilight giggled anyway, it still didn't felt enough "I mean you're kinda right, though not as bad as puberty. I'm just confused"
"'A specific pie'" Pinkie repeated, Twilight cringed again, "So you're just feeling this for one pony"
Twilight tensed up, and cringe at hearing her metaphor again and nodded once more. Twilight mentally braced herself to try and dance around the pony of her affection, to the pony of her affection
"I'm mostly just confused cause well- Like- I don't know if it's just a crush or- becauss obviously I know what a crush is- by definition- but is it really a crush? I don't- should I just ignore it? Because that's wha you're supposed to do- right? Actually I need to fact check that. But still is it really just a crush? Or am I uh... "
"In love?" Pinkie suggested
Twilight bit her toungue, "Yeah that..."
Pinkie hummed in thought again before tumbling back to work on cleaning Sugarcube Corner. Twilight waited patiently on her hooves that were... buzzing?
"Well to be Apple-y honest with you, I would say that you should just air out your feelings towards them" Pinkie said as she slid through atop of the counter, gunk sticking to her her tail, "Just let all you sweet ooey gooey love spill out for your super duper duper lucky special pony!"
Twilight was about to sigh before Pinkie continued
"But you don't work like that" Pinkie said, "In your head you're thinking all about the unseen variables, the unpredictability of it all, your mind constantly resetting trying to make sense of a feeling so inherently irrational. You fell like you need a plan, but frustrated that you can't because this is the only piece of data you have to work with... hmm"
Twilight was paralysed, in the physical tangible world she was still, standing still. Standing normally even, her eyes stared forward at nothing
On the inside, her chest felt like her wings just grew a mind of its own and started twirling an leaping and falling through an endless sky
"Do you wanna say who?"
Twilight blinked and her attention snapped back to Pinkie, which didn't really help, her face flushed, "Who wha- Oh- oh right- uhm... No"
"Thought so" Another hum, "What are they like?"
"Pinkie, you're not gonna-"
"I'm not guessing silly" Pinkie said tapping her nose just as she zoomed past her, "I'm giving you data, the only source you have is probably only you which you're second guessing, I'm letting you use me as a second opinion so that you could reach a conclusion in that big bad brain of yours"
Twilight swore she heard an actual palpable beat from her chest, "Oh okay..."
"So, what are they like?"
"Oh- uhm they're... Nice" Very descriptive Sparkle
"Well that's good, I would be worried your super special somepony isn't" Pinkie said, "How do you feel about them, like generally speaking?"
"Uhmm...." Twilight felt like she was about to burst, "I mean..."
"Okay loaded question, bad bad start" Pinkie interrupted, "Let's look at it like this, do you like hanging out with them?"
"Yes" Twilight immediatly asnswered
"Do you hang out with them all the time?"
"Uh.. yes"
"How does that make you feel?"
"Uhm I guess happy?" Twilight looked at Pinkie for guidance, she looked at her and twireled her hoof urging her to continue the thought
"I just feel like that's not enough of a description on how I feel, I guess elated? joyful? euphoric?" Twilight rambled, "Weird, that's the word that comes to mind"
"Good weird or like weirded out?" Pinkie said
Twilight chuckled, "I guess both, at the same time. She's just so optimistic and joyful that you just can't help but feel infected by it you know, she brights up every room she enters, and she's so thoughtful, so understanding, so selfless, so so so..."
Twilight lost her train of thought as a big sweet giant pink cloud of nines took over her brain, she didn't even know her eyes were glossy until she felt her face wet. She looked at her hooves, and was internally fighting herself from being so intensely happy
"Wow Twilight she sounds amazing"
"You really are"
.
.
.
Like suddenly an anchor was attached to her head, it was brought down to crushing reality and smashed down into her gut
Twilight cleared her throat and looked away, her face suddenly became a sweat dispenser, "Oh he he, whoops I said her name yes Yu- uhm- Yu Darvish, I'm sure you know her"
Masterful save Twilight!
Oh shut up don't get smart with me
Twilight then realised that the room was silent, no brushing, no bouncing, no adorable little hums filled the air, it was like the brightest most distracting pony was suddenly not in the room with her. Her worry overcame her embarrassment and she looked back at Pinkie
"What..."
Pinkie practically breathed that word out. Her eyes were wide, her jaw went slack and she was as still as a rock
Pinkie's face turned red, she bent over and cupped her hooves to her mouth, "Oh my goodnees... " She wheezed
"Twilight are you- Is this- real?"
Twilight was now running on autopilot and just nodded, she swallowed a lump in her throat
Twilight was internally screaming, but she looked put together compared to Pinkie. She was heaving, she cluctched her chest now with her hooves, looking like oxygen wasn't entering her brain
"I- I- I- Hooh" She panted, her hoof now searching for something to hold on to and Twilight instinctively grabbed a hold of it, Pinkie tumbled towards her and landed on her chest
Pinkie's hair was now gently tickling the bottom of Twilight's muzzle and she managed to keep herself from smelling them like flowers - that's another exception, she usually didn't like smelling other ponies hair. Pinkie's head slowly moved and Twilight could see those bright blue eyes that seemed to shine rainbows peering up at her
Twilight felt her tense up as Pinkie looked down at the ground her hoof tracing circles on the floor. Twilight wanted to squeeze this mare right now like- ugh, she held off from making the situation more awkward than it already is
"Twilight"
"Yes?" Twilight somehow managed to stay levelled
"I'm not getting ahead of myself aren't I?"
Twilight let he mouth hang for a moment, "I think you are- But you're not wrong!" Twilight quickly added when she heard Pinkie's hoof hit the floor
"So you are... "
"Yes, Pinkie I... Like-like you"
There was a pause between the two of them, the stillness let Twilight's vision returned to reality as she looked at the still unclean Sugarcube Corner
"Me too"
Twilight's attention snapped back to Pinkie, "What?"
"Me too!" Pinkie repeated, "I also like-like you too" She pressed a hoof against Twilight's nose
"Oh... " The words past through Twilight's ears still being processed and as it did Twilight let out a high pith squeak
An explosion- a good one - whatever that means - uh- Exploded in her chest
Twilight's head neck subconsciously craned down bringing her face deeper into the strawberry smelling modern piece of art that was Pinkie's hair until she was laying on top of her head. She sat down, her hooves slid around Pinkie's waist and brought her closer
Her mind only catching up to her actions and- AHHHHHH OHHH OH MY-
Pinkie had brought her muzzle up, her lips brushing her chin. With a giggle, Twilight's heart exploded once again, she didn't know that was literal or not, but she clutched her heart with her hooves anyway. She wouldn't be surprised if she was actually just dead
The logical side of her brain had shut down, which fired up the backup source which was freaking out
"Twilight?"
Twilight blinked, back to reality. A very very pink reality, "Yes?"
"This is like- the best moment of my life and all, but we should probably go back to cleaning"
Twilight didn't let go of Pinkie but didn't resist when Pinkie squirm her way out of her hooves. She held back the very selfish desire to snatch her back
Pinkie was now double bouncing around as she cleaned, Twilight was sitting still, still trying to process it all
"P- Pinkie?"
"Yes?" Pinkie said as she wiped a table
"Does this mean... We're uh-"
"Yes!" Pinkie bounced over to pick up some fallen streamers, then stopped mid-air, "If-"
"Yes" Twilight's mouth moved before thinking
Pinkie grinned, "Whee!" Pinkie somehow didn't came down and launched herself higher to grab down some balloons
Twilight's eyes tracked Pinkie as she practically glided across the room, ruminating on how their relationship just changed
She still didn't know why was this... This?
It stumped her, it really did, it was like a subject she knew the answer to but not the process
But as she saw Pinkie slide across the room with scrubbers on her hooves, Twilight extended a hoof as Pinkie was about to slide past her
They spun around until Twilight managed to grab Pinkie's hooves with her own, staring into each other, Twilight went down and pressed her lips against hers
This was an exception she was willing to make
Author's Note
ALRIGHT, FINALLY, ANOTHER STORY
God this has been in writing limbo for a whiiile. Life has been stabbing - metaphorically of course - me repeatedly
I've been writing, god knows I've been writing but I literally cannot get any of my stories to get past the first few establishing paragraphs because of time. Sometimes I just get a burst of creative juice and I just write like theres no tomorrow, but then I have no time to polish it
I don't know, maybe it's just a skill issue on my part, but yeah inconsistency seems like its going to be a theme on my page. But hey I'll keep trudging through the vast swamp that is my mind
Anyways, I drew the cover by myself, I know I'm an amateur but I had fun. Drew it in like an hour or something, I just needed to draw something, so yeah I'll probably be drawing most of my covers now
How long can this author note go, goddamn!
Anyway, I haven't talked about the actual story. So like this came to me because I'm always flip flopping on AroAce! Twilight and Bi-light - Sparkle, I like both of them! So which ever one I choose depends on context
Tl;dr : 24 hours isn't enough time in day, I hope I could write more and Twilight cool
Phew that was a long one, I had a lot of things to say. Hopefully my schedule can clear up so I could write more gay horses
Thank you for reading my silly fic and reading this long ass author note. I hope you enjoyed it, criticism is always appreciated
Cheers,
Moi
