The first morning where Luna did not partake in eating breakfast with her sister started the first seed of discomfort, of confusion.
Princess Celestia stared at the strawberries starting to fall into the whipped cream of the pancakes, feeling ants in her cold chest as one Princess Luna was missing from the kitchen entirely. Certainly that Luna didn’t sleep in, for obvious reasons. So why wasn’t she joining her? Even when a pony had a horrible dream that Luna had to take care of, she would still walk into the kitchen same as every morning and talk to her sister. She even brought the moon down as she always did, so it wasn’t like Luna was distracted. Right?
The breakfast was already getting cold anyways, a long exhale left Celestia’s mouth as she turned away and walked down the hallways with her normally comforting sun’s warmth bathing her fur doing nothing for her now. Celestia continued her long walk till she made it to Luna’s room, taking a deep breath and knocking on the door.
“Yes?” Luna’s voice came out, and the sharpness that Celestia noticed right off the bat made her discomfort multiply. When Celestia heard her tone, she imagined Luna skipping out on her duties as whatever bothers were plaguing her worsened with each day. As much as she wanted to be doting, to give Luna the time she needed in order to flourish naturally, Celestia knew that such official government duties that needed to be done in order to run Equestria didn’t allow such time. Immortal or not. Celestia thought to her little ponies, wide-eyed and mortal, and they had such precariously little time to explore the magical state of Equestria before they passed on. Her and Luna had centuries to figure everything out.
Celestia took a deep breath, her brain was happy with that logic. Yup.
“Come and join me for breakfast, you need to eat,” Celestia’s voice came out straight-forward, firm but not loud. An even stronger quiet followed for a few seconds, before Luna spoke.
“Very well, sister,” Luna’s voice came out with its sting, and Celestia imagined that her sister’s seemingly annoyed mood would worsen before it got better. Luna, scowling, and her brain alight with angry thoughts towards her sister. The chilling image was too vivid to not give more attention to, and surely bringing attention to this very real concern would protect her little ponies in the end. Right?
Celestia heard shuffling behind the door, and didn’t hesitate to make her getaway as she turned around and made a beeline back for the kitchen. Luna did join her, barely poking at a few bites of pancake and not even touching the toppings as she made no eye contact with her sister.
“Sister, whatever is troubling you, let me know now so the both of us can fix it,” Celestia spoke plainly. “My little ponies need support constantly, and I can’t let them down.”
Luna’s muzzle scrunched up, her eyes narrowing as she grimaced openly.
“Your ponies?” Luna grumbled under her breath.
“What was that, dear sister?” Celestia leaned closer towards Luna, perking one ear up to listen again. Luna shook her head as she dropped the fork she was holding with her magic, getting up out of her chair.
“Nothing sister,” Luna shook her head, then she was already out of the kitchen. “Just tired and ready to sleep, have a good morning.”
Luna strained her lips into an open-mouth smile, flashing her teeth at Celestia as Celestia felt her feathers turn into icicles with the brittle expression her sister gave her. Somehow, even with her asking her sister directly what her plight was so they could take care of it, Luna doubled-down and still wouldn’t tell. How could she be so selfish, that she would care more about making a point than her little ponies that needed to be cared for and protected? Celestia felt her body tense and frozen with the cold that plagued her, her chest becoming tight as her beloved sister turned into something else in her mind. Not a Princess, a co-ruler, an official to run the Equestria government and keep the ponies all safe, but a creature far more devious that wriggled out of her grasp.
Celestia shivered, shaking off the thoughts. She had a meeting to be on time for.
Luna stared at the big moon high in the sky bringing a comforting light onto her blue body from her window, a bright centerpiece in the purple sky with a bunch of little starry decorations glittering around it. She couldn’t think of a view that brought more peace to her soul, but the ponies closed their gazes to it as they slept for activity underneath the sun. The piercing, baking, sun. The sun and moon, ever since that first morning Luna barely ate despite the harsh growling from her stomach, had risen and fallen dozens of times. And her imagery of her sister had changed, from that heart-stopping moment that Celestia referred to the ponies of Equestria as her own. Almost as if despite Luna’s efforts, she had already dropped her like an expired fruit. She was already ready for Luna to break, and was just waiting it out like a hunter with a trap. Her own sister.
Luna’s eyes hurt, her cheeks felt wet and her throat felt dry. Such feelings had become less painful and more expected at this point. Her heart being drained just as much as her eyes were was a way of life at this point, not just for the ponies of Equestria. But for the sister who stared at her with a gentle smile, one that spoke not of helping her sister’s heart, but of a cunning creature like a fox. A rat. A weasel. With her relaxed expression, and practiced beaming brightness towards the ponies she met up with. Luna knew, deep down, what was most important to her sister. What she would sacrifice anything to keep.
Her glowing light, capturing everypony in the room, told Luna more than she’d care to say out loud. And somehow, keeping that going above all else was the burning pain keeping Luna shoved into the dark. Her heart twisted in her chest, and the waterworks started anew.
Help me, help me. Why have you forsaken me?
“Luna, we need to talk.”
“I need to sleep,” Luna groaned, trotting further down the hallway as Celestia followed her.
“You’ve been skipping out on checking ponies’ dreams and nightmares for over a week now, and it's concerning to say the least,” Celestia explained, though it was a repetition of sounds that meant very little. Luna rolled her eyes, even though her face was turned away from Celestia.
“Don’t you have another meeting to go to?” Luna hoped that it would come out just as a question, though her loud voice broke through.
“Do you think I would want to do that when they could be in far less than best spirits? They need comfortable sleep and that can’t exactly happen if there isn’t anypony to help them,” Celestia stated. “Is being a Princess too much for you, Luna? You don’t have to lead with me if it is too much.”
“Excuse me?” Luna stopped her beeline for her room and whirled around, her mane and tail of glittering constellations flashing in Celestia’s face before being welcomed with her sister’s cold blue eyes. Celestia bit her tongue, a flash of metallic briefly registering before she let go and deeply exhaled as she looked towards the sun.
“I wanted to give you an honest chance at leading, because we started this together,” Celestia told her sister. “But an eternity of running everything, most ponies can’t do that. You’ve got nothing to feel bad about, dear sister, this is perfectly okay for you to feel. Breaking underneath all that pressure, you don’t have to do it anymore. Just let me take care of everything, and I won’t expect a single concern for you to take care of.”
Luna’s pupils shrank as her wings poofed out, and Celestia took a step back at the sudden reaction as she looked back at her sister.
“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Luna asked, though hardly was it a question.
“Yes?” Celestia’s muzzle scrunched up as she frowned and looked down at the floor. “Why wouldn’t I want you to be okay, dear sister? I don’t quite understand.”
“This wouldn’t be happening if that was what you actually wanted,” Luna scoffed. “You’ve only been thinking highly of me, surely, not expecting me to drop and fail to your impossible standards.”
“Sister, I don’t think you’re a bad pony,” Celestia tried reaching a forehoof to place on her sister’s shoulder, and Luna moved backwards several steps like her sister’s hoof was a swarm of bees. Then, the centerpiece of it all, Celestia’s slow change from a frown to a smile. Luna didn’t know why her sister’s face changed like that out of the drop of a hat, though when she glanced over her shoulder and saw that two members of the Royal Guard had walked into the room, a searing twist of her heart reignited like a blue fire. Strangling her, the smile was something unnatural, especially from Celestia.
Her little ponies, Luna gritted her teeth.
Igniting her night blue magic, feeling her emotions blaze hotter than her own sister’s sun, Luna teleported out of sight as there was nothing more to wait for. Her emotions spoke true, past all the smiles and tricks. Her heart was the tell all, the reality, the refusal to play pretend with the charade Celestia had carefully and deliberately crafted to keep a nation afloat.
Luna took a deep breath, feeling the night on her side as she would fight against the blistering sun and its burning heat.
“Everything okay, Princess Celestia?”
Celestia stared at the moon that she had raised as she sat on the balcony, several hundred times in a row now. The stallion adorned in his Royal Guard attire stood behind his Princess, completely unaware of lifetimes of events occurring before even his very birth. Celestia had done it, despite how heated their arguments were, she had made sure that her little ponies never stopped seeing the Princess of the Sun as their Goddess. Ruler. Leader. Pillar of Morality and Character.
And Luna was banished off, to not spill her wild imperfections onto everything she built and taint what mattered to her most.
Celestia nodded as she gave a brief glance at the wide-eyed Royal Guard full of youth, and great lack of knowing.
“Yes, thank you for checking on me,” Celestia answered. “I will be back over there shortly, you can check again in five minutes.”
“Yes, Princess,” the Royal Guard stallion bowed, though Celestia turned back to look at the moon as he trotted away, the sound getting quieter before it turned to nothing. Celestia exhaled, though it felt like she pulled it out of nothing.
Celestia had achieved her goal, getting rid of Luna should’ve meant that she got rid of every bad thought plaguing her mind. As the moon’s light rested on Celestia in its lunar glory, her eyes felt very tired and her chest empty and cold.
She couldn’t look at it anymore, and she got up and turned around as she walked back into her castle.
