Fear and Loathing in Las Pegasus

by WolfOblivion

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 1558

Mixing of Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing series and My Little Pony

Twilight Sparkle chases the Equestrian dream on a whim to the princesses demands with some help from Rainbow Dash and her brown leather briefcase. Down onto Las Pegasus, Twilight recollects the hazy misadventures with her cyan friend, full of hallucinations, fear, and a lot of dancing.

Cursing is abundant, do not expect friendly ponies.

Credit to UtterlyLudicrous-http://gifsthebrony.deviantart.com/art/Commission-Fear-and-Loathing-in-Las-Pegasus-306666745 For the picture
Thanks to Hunter S. Thompson for being my favorite writer of all time. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson.

Published 2012-10-24 08:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-24 08:40:01 UTC

1- The Desert

Fear and Loathing in Las Pegasus
Chapter 1: The Desert

We were somewhere on the edge of the San Palomino Desert and the Everfree Forest when the Magic had started to take hold.

I remember saying something indistinctly like "I'm not really all on this, maybe you should take the wheel." to my pegasus friend sitting next to me.

It was hot and sweaty, a fine day for what we were embarking on. The cyan mare sitting next to me was hanging her head out of the side of the steam carriage we rode on, letting her tongue caress her cheek and the spittle from it flowing from her mouth like a clear river. It was that of a inexperienced abuser such of myself that I could not focus on the inhibited mare as a barrage of squeals came all around us. Out of nowhere, parapasprites swarmed over my head, threatening to pull of my black blocker sunglasses that resided on my snout. A voice screamed "MY GOD, GET THESE INFERNAL CREATURES AWAY FROM THE CASE!"

The rainbow haired pegasus snapped her head around to me, her specific sunglasses hanging from one of her ears. Her mouth gaped with a certain no-brain likeness, something to which my sneer of anger could not make a dent to her current emotional state. "WHAT! OH MY GOSH, ALL OF THE CIDER!" The belligerent mare screamed, flailing her legs around. I thought she was trying to warn off the little balled assholes crowding us. She stopped, putting her two hoofs in a defensive stance. "WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?"

"Never mind that, it's your turn to drive." It didn't matter, the bitch was gonna see the balls of disgusting soon enough. I had pulled out to the side of the road to get out of the steam carriage. It had wheels on the bottom and powered by some such magical input. It ran fast and was comfortable, didn't matter much. I walked around the back, lifting a small compartment to find some red interior lacing the trunk with a brown case sitting on top of the felt mess. I opened the case to find a array of bottles and baggies containing this-and-thats of ilegalness. Was that a word? Whatever.

Two bags of starswirl grass; a containment of Clestion;(Brown it seemed to be the color) five sheets of high blotting Lucid, a whole star system of uppers, downers, screamers, laughers; also a half gallon of cider and a case of zebra drum; a pint of Dragon Gas, and two dozen powdered gemstones. It was quite the collection my friend had, though it wasn't going to be used in entirety. The lamebrain in the driver seat explained o me before she went insane that once you begin to collect this stuff, you never really could stop,

The damn sprites came again. "Get out of here you little devils!" I swatted at them, hitting one solidly by the next with my hoof. It clambered to the ground in a sort of slow motion sickness that made my spine quiver. I pulled out a bit of the grass, already rolled into a fine tubing.

The pegasus had already climbed carelessly into the driver seat, jamming her hoof onto the small gem stone that worked as ignition. I sat into the seat beside her, levitating the tube of plant to my mouth, lighting the end with a little of my magic. Inhaling took effort, but so was the bends.

Now moving again, i looked around the bleak but beautiful landscape that created a vast painting before me. Literally, colors started to move around on there own. I shook my head, fighting through my already tripped mind to this morning, remembering the old snooty unicorn that i once was before.

=-=-=-=

I was sitting down by my old desk, going over some old notes i took in electricity some years ago. The basics were confusing me, wouldn't know why. Perhaps i was stressed lately, it seemed plausible. Life was hard on me, considering a quarter of my life had just passed by the day before. I was considerably tired from the strenuousness of studying magic, a certain toll was begging to show itself on my energy.

My assistant belched from behind me, green flames licking the dry air. A small scroll tumbled to the ground, and i swiped from the dragon before he could read it. I rolled it out, reading the black print of my mentor.

The gist was a request to go to Las Pegasus to view some magical profoundness coming from the central district. "What do I have to do in Las Pegasus?" I questioned. It was certainly odd, it was far off from Ponyville. Alot of effort to teleport there.

My thoughts were destroyed as a crash came from the right window beside me. A flash of cyan came before my eyes, and i knew instantly is was Rainbow Dash. I stood up to look at the fumbled pegasus on the ground, trying to right herself.

"Sorry Twilight, can't get this trick right." Rainbow shut her jaw when she looked at me.

"Wow Twilight, you look like death." Really? I hadn't noticed. I shrugged it off though, walking back to the desk as Spike had begun to sweep the glass off of the floor.

Rainbow followed me with her astounding nosiness. "Whats that?" She asked, pointing her hoof towards the parchment on my desk.

"A letter from the princess. She wants me to go to Las Pegasus to check out some disturbance." I said dismissively, shoving all the papers into the cabinet by the desk.

Rainbow smiled. "Las Pegasus? I was just going there tomorrow! I'll go today if it means I can have some company."

And in an hour, she had gotten one of the new steam carriages off of her mechanic friend, parking it outside my library. She swooped down to the ground, holding a briefcase in her mouth.

"Whats that?" I asked. She laid the case down and looked around.

Turning her head back to me, she whispered me a question that truly scared me. "How much have you gone into the world of drugs?"

They were not truly the drugs we get in a pharmacy, they were created by natural herbs or combining elements with certain magical spells. Society just called it simply by Magic. Confusing, I know.

"Um...only some minor alcohol." I slowly drawled.

Rainbow flashed a wicked smile my way, making me grimace. "If we're going to kick off this trip, we do it right. This is the Equestrian dream that lives in Las Pegasus, gambling and filth residing." Rainbow opened her case, and inside was a crazy organization of pill bottles and paper bags full of various colored items inside.

I had lived life deciding that i would try some of the Magic that the cool ponies talked so much about. But it seemed at the wrong time for this. My friend had noticed my uneasiness, and her smile deepened. "Come on twilight, you're tired right? Well, these will help you relax."

Her mentioning of my tiredness only made it worse. I had a pounding head ache and pain around my entire body. My energy was sapped and i could no longer think as coherently. I yawned and nodded my heavy head. "Okay."

I was far from curing my illness of tired, but i was able to work through the giddiness to pull a sheet of thin pink paper from Rainbows hoof. I was shaking from the fear and excitement, watching the cyan pony lay the sheet gently onto her tongue. "Her we go." She muttered.

I nodded vacantly, doing the same as she had done. And in another hour, we had cleared the Everfree forest.

=-=-=-=

Looking back to Rainbow, i asked her a question. "You know, you never really told me why you're going to L.P." My mind was beginning to reel, strange spurts of black liquid was coming out of the cacti.

Rainbow snorted, wrapping her leg around to the glove. She flicked open, and a damn magnum flun out of the compartment.

"SHIT, what the hell!" I yelled, the gun falling into my lap. Rainbow laughed endlessly.

"I'll tell you what i'm going to do Twilight, I'll tell you." She spoke down to a whisper. She leaned over, neglecting the road but still keeping straight.

"I'm gonna find a fucker named Cloud Kicker....and blow her fuckin brains out!" She spoke in a melancholia whisper. She was giving quite the bad vibes. She launched back in her seat laughing her damn head off for seemingly devilish reasons.

"Wow Rainbow. I honestly don't know how to respond." I said looking at the cold thing. It was heavy, at least five pounds. Black metal and brown handle, this thing was a damn death machine.

It disappeared from my lap. The next second it was flying past my muzzle. I looked to Rainbow with a questioning anger bubbling to find her gritting her teeth and frothing a little.

"Shit! Why the hell was that in here! You're gonna get us fucking arrested Twi!" Rainbow was screaming, but visibly relaxed at her own security of not having a gun. Ironic really.

I just shook my head. This trip was going to be long. Very long.