Rainbow's In The Roof And We Can't Get Her Down

by Estee

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 9553

Into every life, a sleek pegasus must fall. And in this case, embed herself up to the shoulders and hips.

The perfect place for Rainbow to practice her stunts is obviously wherever the conditions are right, and the fact that she set up those ideal conditions directly over the cottage? That lets a friend serve as an appreciative audience. The fact that Fluttershy's trying to conduct repairs on part of the sod roof shouldn't mean anything more than 'It's keeping her from spotting the damage to the grounds which came from the last attempt'.

Because sometimes practice goes wrong. This time, the fallout from that last failed spiral left Rainbow partially embedded in the sod, and there's all sorts of reasons why she can't just get herself out. But it won't be a problem for long -- not once her friends get involved. You'd think that the diversity of talents, intellects, and magic represented by the Bearers could solve this in an instant!

You'd really like to think that.

Now with author Patreon, SubscribeStar, and Ko-Fi pages.

Published 2024-09-21 02:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2024-09-21 02:40:03 UTC

Stuck For A Solution

Every single Bearer had multiple commonalities with every other, and that was even after you discarded the automatic link which had been created by the whole 'Bearer' thing. It was something which applied to any given pairing in the group, and it did so in spite of the gulfs created by personality, backgrounds, and viewpoint separation. Some of the connections were minor, while others went surprisingly deep. The mares existed as warped reflections of each other -- although it could take some intensive examination to recognize that a warped mirror was present at all. And in those places where there was no silvered image looking back... then they could learn from each other. That was what Harmony was for.

And that was why it was crucial for Harmony to include somepony like Rainbow, who already knew about the important stuff and was thus qualified to inform the others about what was too stupid to bother with: i.e., everything else.

(One of the hardest things for Rainbow to deal with was nopony truly seeming to appreciate her interests, and that maintained no matter how much she talked about them. The obvious answer was to obsessively talk about those topics all the more. The others would come around eventually.)

Still -- the connections were there. For example, the link with Rarity was -- surprisingly strong, because it was forged from the heart of their mutual core drive. Both mares wanted to be remembered, and were willing to do just about anything to make sure that the next thousand years would pass with somepony still saying their names.

And when it came to the connections between Rainbow and Fluttershy...

Well, to look at the minor details, obviously they both loved tortoises -- although in Rainbow's opinion, Fluttershy could love them a little more. (Rainbow had recently paid to have the permanent version of the cloudwalking spell cast on Tank, and found that it made pet ownership that much more fun. Also, cloud edge training became a little easier when any glance at her pet's current direction of travel gave her twenty minutes of lead time.)

And they each worked on their own homes.

In Rainbow's case, 'worked' might have been something of an understatement. She'd made the entire structure: outer and inner. Furnishings had to be brought in normally, preferably after somepony else made them -- and in the best case, also paid for them -- but when it came to construction of the floor plan, exercise area, and leaving enough space for fountains of all kinds, that had all been Rainbow. It was just a matter of applying the cloud molding technique to enough vapor over time, along with making sure to hire houseperchers before any long missions. A vapor residence took the energy required for maintenance from its occupant, and being away from home for more than a moon meant a replacement resident was pretty much required. The other option was having to hunt down your living room: prevalent Weather Bureau currents meant you started looking over the train tracks and then followed the rails east.

Fluttershy, however, worked in wood and stone -- and, when it came to the cottage roof, straw and sod. The cottage had a strange way of sprawling on the vertical, and that was because the owner had added rooms as the needs of new animal residents dictated. Interiors varied -- the primary bird zone didn't exactly have the same requirements as the one for puppies, although both required a lot of cleaning -- but the outer air-exposed surface would always be worked to allow plant growth, because it was all the more space for herbivorous companions to graze.

Rainbow really didn't understand how that kind of construction worked, and had made a deliberate effort to avoid learning the details. There was still a Cloudsdale filly within the mare, and that youth felt that truly learning all about ground life would find her hooves permanently magnetized to the horrible stuff. As such, she continued to believe that most of the attempts to resolve what young claws, talons, and teeth could do when testing themselves against available materials was to shove some extra vapor over there. Most of what Rainbow truly knew about ground structures was how it felt to crash into them, and that proved vapor was better. And going into a cloud produced a lot less debris to clean up, unless she wound up in the center of somepony's living room. Or kitchen. That one mare was still yelling at her about the bedroom intrusion and seriously, if you didn't like having pegasi show up, then don't move into an area where the wind currents were so perfect for high-speed night dives.

Not that Rainbow ever stuck around for the cleanup, not for vapor homes or for wood. She generally did her best to escape before anypony spotted her, and had a library's worth of excuses ready to go on why all the chaos had been produced by Someone Else. (One of those Someones, whose whole existence was supposed to be about chaos, was oddly irritated by that.) Openly, freely admitting that the impact was her fault would make her responsible for it. Do that but once and ponies would expect it all the time. Rainbow, who spent a lot of time in small claims court while totally unfair ponies tried to recover repair costs, didn't want to establish that kind of precedent.

There was a certain price to pay when she lost. Again. (Rainbow generally blamed the judge. Her self-appointed defender -- herself -- had been perfect.)

As it was about to turn out, escapes had their own cost.

It was a beautiful morning in early spring: the time when you could fix all the damage done by winter in the comforting knowledge that your wings would be warm the whole time. (Nopony had thanked Rainbow for that. Pretty much nopony ever did.) It was also apparently a good time to place fresh sod, because you wanted to give the grass seeds some time to grow.

Fluttershy was on the easternmost part of the roof, fully exposed to Sun's light. (There was no need to thank Rainbow for that part, although mentioning the lack of cloud cover was always appreciated.) She was carefully placing fresh sod, and it was work which she pretty much had to do by herself. The most anypony could expect from the animal residents during construction projects was a little help in carrying things and in this case, that mostly meant raccoons. The birds and squirrels tended to eat the seeds.

"So I'm going to get into my starting position over the chicken coops," Rainbow told her lone sapient spectator. "I should pass over you just as the first spiral starts. And when that happens, I just need you to look up. Focus on my feathers. I could really use an outside eye --"

Just a little too softly, even for Fluttershy, "...why are you here?"

Rainbow, who was hovering over the roof at the minimum altitude which guaranteed that Fluttershy couldn't casually ask her to pass something over, came very close to hesitating. Instead, she simply looked down and gazed into the lone exposed blue-green eye, with a subtle side focus on the current position of the mane. Picking up on even a hint of irritation from Fluttershy required checking on the single visible iris, just in case it was about to pick up some company.

"Practicing a new stunt," Rainbow replied. "I thought that was kind of obvious. Anyway, what I really need is to know how my greater and lesser coverts were aligned --"

"-- why," Fluttershy subtly cut in, "are you practicing over the cottage? You've got all of Ponyville..."

"Because the weather conditions are ideal here," Rainbow announced. "There's no better place for trying to slip between atmospheric layers. Trust me there!"

Fluttershy hesitated. She usually did.

A temporarily-bipedal raccoon staggered up to yellow forehooves, carrying a square of sod which sagged under its own weight. Fluttershy took the deposited lacing of soil, carefully lifted it in her jaw, placed it, cautiously pressed it down without using too much force, and then rinsed her mouth with the contents of a nearby mug before speaking again.

"...ideal weather conditions," she softly semi-repeated.

With utter confidence, "I'd know --"

"-- and who arranged for those?"

The tossed-off shrug presumably landed behind the chicken coops. "I don't look at the signatures on Bureau assignments."

By contrast, "...really," had fallen into the danger zone. "Rainbow, the thing about ideal weather conditions in spring is that when I'm hosting this many birds --"

Rainbow expertly judged the rising note of slow-billowing suspicion, and quickly changed the subject.

"So what are you doing?" Not that Fluttershy didn't already have something to do. Keeping watch over Rainbow's feathers during the first stage of the new stunt was obviously more important.

"...repairs," Fluttershy quietly told her. "I do a lot of repairs, Rainbow."

"I guess," the hovering pegasus shrugged. "But is that all of it? Because I looked at the northern corner when I came in and --"

"-- and not just on the cottage," the caretaker subtly interrupted. "I keep finding furrows on the grounds. Long, shallow ones. Like you'd get if somepony was coming in low while trying for a grass skim, didn't pull all the way up in time, and just skidded out through the soil."

The brief pause before answering represented both Rainbow doing a speed sort through the excuse library and picking a suitable portion of the local horizon. When you were dealing with a mare of occasionally-dubious temper who had a few hundred reinforcements on permanent local call, it was very important to know exactly which direction you totally wouldn't be using to flee for your life.

"So a Furrow Beast got in."

The one visible eye blinked.

"...what?"

Fluttershy had a beautiful face. A lot of ponies said so, and Rainbow readily agreed because those who somehow didn't appreciate Rainbow's perfection had to settle for somepony. And those features were enhanced by perfect teeth.

Lovely features and, on the rare occasions it manifested, a pretty smile. But her lips were pressed tightly together. Fully immobile. And yet, Rainbow almost felt she could hear teeth grinding...

"That's new to you? We should ask Twilight to check the library," Rainbow doubled down. "It'll be in there somewhere." And was impressed with her ability to say the words while simultaneously wondering how hard it was to set type and smuggle pages. "But they're harmless. Except for the furrows, which really don't do much anyway. And they're really hard to ward off. And nearly invisible. And move fast. Like me-fast. So you probably shouldn't bother."

That eye is starting to narrow.
Change the subject again.

"But what are you setting up on the north end?" the weather coordinator quickly asked. "Because that looks sort of like you peeled off some of the roof on purpose. Like something else is going in there."

"...a new cat tower," Fluttershy quietly said. "About that 'Furrow Beast'..."

"A what tower?" was a workable defense against the threat of incoming quotation marks.

With a little pride, "...a playroom. With all sorts of things they can jump over and climb. Or sit on, at the very top. They like to be high up, Rainbow. It makes them feel secure. So I thought... add one room for a new level, and that'll help all the more. They can look out of the highest windows."

Why didn't you tell me that about cats when I was picking out Tank? Actually, it was a good thing Fluttershy hadn't. Rainbow was more than happy with the results. "And that bare patch is where it's going in?"

"...yes. I'm still waiting on delivery for the planks, but I wanted to get a start..."

"So why don't you just mold the tower together?"

Fluttershy blinked.

It was a fully open, rather odd exasperation, "...Rainbow..."

Who wasn't thinking about Twilight's inability to manage the permanent version of the cloudwalking spell, or how much it would cost to have the hideous price of each casting multiplied by the number of feline cottage residents. Instead, she simply, belatedly remembered that as with every other piece of inherent pegasus magic which existed, Fluttershy wasn't good at molding.

Rainbow didn't like to think about that for too long. Fluttershy's talents were impressive, represented things which hardly anypony could do -- but at the same time, the caretaker had effectively turned away from just about everything about the sky life, because it didn't suit her. And that made Rainbow...

...sad.

She glanced at the bare corner.

Maybe I could...

But that was a thought for later. Right now, she needed to get Fluttershy's mind off not-yet-officially-recorded Furrow Beast entries, and the best way to do that was --

"I'm going to launch now!" Rainbow called out. "Watch me!"

And before Fluttershy could summon the strength to speak again, Rainbow was moving towards the coops. Stopped well over them, turned around, adjusted several crucial feathers while preparing a few key muscles. Focused on the air above Fluttershy's mane, and pushed.

The acceleration was textbook. The air did exactly what she'd preset for hours ago. Her wings began to shift into the first part of the spiral --

-- afterwards, once the fog of humiliation had been temporarily burned off through the heat of pure embarrassment, most of what she remembered was the heron. It could be somewhat hard to remember anything else, especially when she'd wound up with a whopping big heron (instead of a whooping big crane) directly in her air path out of bucking nowhere because the thing about ideal flying conditions in early spring was that she wasn't the only one testing them out.

Rainbow slammed her sleek form to the right, briefly registered that a stiff beak was still capable of displaying shock, and the desperate dodge got her clear of the bird -- but she was tumbling, it took everything she had left just to get roughly vertical again and she was dropping too fast, she got her legs out straight and got ready to bend all four knees for shock absorption because at least that meant legs were good for something --

-- her hooves contacted the soft sod.

Then they went through.

The rest of her legs followed up.

Rainbow's head whipped forward, and the next impact bounced dozens of tiny grass seeds into her snout.

The last thing she did before passing out was sneezing them free. It was only practical.

There were commonalities between any given pair of Bearers. Twilight and Rainbow were the scientists.

Each would carefully construct a theory. Draw up the steps required to test it, then figure out how to actually implement them. If (when) the first trial failed, you figured out the necessary adjustments and then kept going. Analyze the exact results. Adjust again and repeat the process through every subsequent test, as part of the long journey down the seemingly-endless road towards the paradise known as Proof.

Twilight was a student of magic, with Rainbow as a disciple of flight. But they were both scientists, and it gave them a foundation upon which they could build connections.

It was just that Twilight believed in stupid things like using safety equipment. Rainbow's first response in the presence of such abomination was to figure out the drag coefficient, wait until nopony was looking, and then kick the horrors away. Using all the force the stuff deserved.

Still... scientists. So when she woke up, Rainbow prioritized. She didn't have to open her eyes to know that she was breathing and no more than somewhat bruised. It meant the first thing she did was sort the data. Reviewed everything she could recall of her wing alignment, decided on what she could have done better, drew up plans to try that kind of emergency dodge again without the heron, and finally decided to check in on what the rest of her senses were telling her.

There was something solid, squishy, cool, and supportive under her belly and barrel. But her hooves were resting on -- nothing. They were just dangling. Which meant her legs should have been doing the same, but she could feel a tangle of -- things -- pushing against portions of their fur. Wood and bits of wire and what felt very much like the business ends of tiny branches, all woven together. And there was a slight pinching sensation against the top of all four lower limbs...

Rainbow opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was Fluttershy's calm face. Which required looking up.

The calm wasn't unusual. Fluttershy, who had to treat the wounds and illnesses of the cottage residents, had moved her skills slightly sideways to become the Bearer's medic. When somepony had been hurt, the caretaker's hesitations and pauses vanished. All fear was pushed aside until there was time to deal with it. She simply acted.

"You'll be okay," Fluttershy told her friend. "I checked you over. The sod absorbed some of the impact, and the straw layer got most of the rest. You're not really hurt. I already cleaned and treated everything I could reach. You've got a few bandages, but they can mostly come off in a couple of days --"

"Good," Rainbow exhaled. "And -- thanks." Which brought them to the important stuff. "I know that was an interruption, and I'm not gonna blame a bird which can't think about getting in the way. But did you happen to spot how my coverts were --"

"-- and don't try to move."

Rainbow blinked. Refocused, then continued to look up at Fluttershy.

"Don't move? But you just said I wasn't really hurt..."

There... seemed to be a lot more 'up' involved than usual.

Fluttershy was the taller of the two. It wasn't by much, and it was still a good reason to maintain a hover. It was hard to get an accurate comparison on size with somepony who was in the air most of the time, and that was an excellent reason for the weather coordinator to keep her wings going around Applejack at just about all times. But if Rainbow was stuck on the ground... then she was a little shorter than the caretaker.

A level gaze was currently going to leave her regarding Fluttershy's sternum.

This seemed wrong.

And then she realized that her legs had gone through the ceiling.

Her belly and barrel were pressed against the roof. Useless legs were dangling inside the cottage. Uselessly. And there was so much stuff surrounding them. She was starting to pick up on cloth, and that was beyond the now-registering bandages --

I can't move.

Her wings automatically flared to their full span. Instinct directed a single tremendous flap --

"OW!"

"'Don't move'," Fluttershy calmly said, "includes 'don't try to fly'."

"I noticed," Rainbow pushed out through gritted teeth. She didn't have the room for a full push, and so had effectively slammed her wings into the sod.

"Let me check those."

Fluttershy did. Pronounced them uninjured. Rainbow shook out her feathers anyway. There was grass seed stuck in the vanes.

"What's with all the stuff around my legs? I can feel all sorts of things. There's this huge tangle --"

"-- the room your legs are in," Fluttershy explained, "is where the Glamvidious Corvids are nesting."

"...the..." was all Rainbow could manage. She was trying to remember if she'd ever been in that part of the cottage, and found her brain reporting the information as Not Important. That section of her mind was probably being used for Wonderbolts stats. Plus certain portions of the grounds were off-limits to most ponies and if you tried to get a look anyway, the animals... objected.

Steadily, "Birds. They scavenge all sorts of things for their nests, Rainbow. Only it's barely a nest. More like a junkpile of whatever they can find and weave together. It's a trash heap with eggs. They lay eggs early."

Magenta eyes instantly went wide. "Tell me I missed the --"

"-- you missed the eggs," Fluttershy calmly told her. "All of them. And the birds got out of the way when they heard the first impact."

"...oh, thank Sun," Rainbow exhaled. Property damage could be ignored, especially when it wasn't her property and a really nice Ponyville resident would have set up soft zones anyway. But baby birds were important. "And my legs are sort of locked up in the junk?"

"Yes." Fluttershy's head dipped, and reticence dropped back into her posture. "...you're stuck. I'm sorry..."

"And I don't have leverage," Rainbow groaned. "No space for wings, nothing to push against --" stopped. "Wait. Get a wide board. Put it on your back, then go in the room and hover. If you get the wood right under my hooves --"

"-- there isn't enough space. The nests go everywhere. If I bring in something that big, I will be risking the eggs. And they're very delicate."

Rainbow managed a nod. "So what am I supposed to do?"

Move.
I need to move...

"...wait," Fluttershy softly asked. "I tried to sort of lift you out with a pressure carry. I couldn't. You're just that stuck, Rainbow. And I don't want to dismantle the roof around you, because parts could fall and do more damage to the nests. So I'm going to -- ask for help. Can you wait? And just try to stay where you are until that help comes?"

Rainbow forced a nod. Fluttershy's wings unfolded, flapped, and did what Rainbow had to wait for. The caretaker flew to the edge of the roof, dropped out of sight.

A few minutes passed, while Sun's warmth failed to reach Rainbow's barrel. And then five carrier pigeons flew into view, easily lofting the weight of the tiny metal tube which had been fastened to each left leg.

The birds split off, heading in five separate directions. Rainbow managed a smile.

She was trapped, and that was horrifying. Unable to escape the site of a potential cleanup request, which was almost as bad. But help was coming.

The first round of 'help' didn't.

Any group of mares was going to have somepony who was the largest -- Applejack -- and somepony else holding down the other end of the curve. For the Bearers, that second portion was forever threatening to slip out from under the librarian's minimal weight, because Twilight was small. There were secondary school students who tried to get out of their late fees by glaring down at her, and the tactic they'd been told to try by those who'd been there before would fail once again at the moment the horn ignited. The previous failures always found that funny.

Rainbow, embedded in the roof, had been forced to look up at Twilight. It was a new sensation. It also wasn't a particularly welcome one. And with the little unicorn having concluded that she was actually in the heart of her somewhat dumb domain, the tones of oration were now drifting down.

Twilight had decided Rainbow's predicament was a cue to lecture. It was as if the weather coordinator was being punished for something.

"So I can't just levitate you out," the unicorn summarized. Or rather, would have summarized, because the prerequisite for a summary getting through was to have all of the previous information register and Rainbow had tried to use the lecture as her Road To Napville. Napping would make being stuck somewhat more tolerable, as long as she managed to dream about moving. But she couldn't seem to fall asleep, and not managing that while Twilight was lecturing came across as a grievous insult. The constant sensation of sod against fur was just that discomforting.

A summary, in the best case, would have done no more than irritate her all over again. But she was effectively hearing it for the first time, and that meant getting mad.

"You can't?"

"I just explained --" Twilight patiently began.

"Why not?" demanded several bale-tons of disbelief. "You're the strongest unicorn in town! I only weigh --"

"-- your legs went all the way through the roof," the librarian slowly explained. "As I said the first time, when it comes to levitation, my corona is going to treat you as part of the cottage. And I could still try to pull a little harder on one section of my grip, but... that's not easy, Rainbow. And I don't have a spell to see where your legs are, or guide them out carefully as I'm pulling. Your hooves went through a lot of things. Fluttershy cleared out as many edges as she could, but yanking on your body -- that risks lacerations. Especially with how tight the fit is at the shoulders and hips."

Rainbow thought about it.

Did unicorn magic work that way? Twilight had probably talked about it before. And if Twilight was talking about magic, then Rainbow was riding a current of words to dreamland. So it was safest to agree with everything, because that at least made it look like Rainbow had cared about the previous lectures. She didn't want to offend her friend.

"It's really tight," she agreed. "Almost a precision fit."

Where did I learn 'precision fit'?

"It is. And even if I could try to do it slowly, there could be a lot of damage to the roof if I directed too much force at it."

Probably Rarity. And then the i-dea! detonated across Rainbow's brain.

"Teleport!" the pegasus happily declared. "Just touch me, then do whatever it is you do in order to -- okay, you're gonna have to bring us back in a little high. Because if we keep the same positions and you aim for ground level -- are you okay with midair? Because a short drop might hurt your hooves, but a long one means I can totally catch you --"

"-- part. of. the. cottage," Twilight carefully repeated. "I'd be trying to move the whole building. And my mass limit is a lot lower on a teleport anyway." A little more slowly, "Besides, what if the pressure from your legs being there is what's holding the rest of your part of the roof together? And things just -- collapsed. Imagine the cleanup. Like the hours I had to spend on putting my balcony back together after, according to you as the lone claimed witness, a meteor went into it. And evaporated. As meteors apparently do."

Rainbow thought about that.

"Turn the cottage over."

Twilight blinked. This was a rather common reaction in the presence of utter genius, which meant Rainbow automatically dismissed it. The occasional jaw drops were equally ignored.

"Turn," the librarian slowly began to play back, "the cottage..."

"Levitate the whole thing," the superior scientist instructed. "Flip it. Then shake. Eventually, gravity's gonna get me free." Who ever would have thought that gravity could be on Rainbow's side? Maybe every enemy had a hidden use if you got desperate enough. "You'll need to have the whole thing pretty high up, though. I need enough time during the drop to at least get into a glide --"

"-- Rainbow," Twilight softly broke in, "how strong do you think I am?"

"I don't know! You're the one who treats your Gifted School test scores as some kind of state secret! But you got the water tower up, didn't you? And water's heavy. This is just a cottage. And it isn't flooded with water, so how hard could it be?" Actually... "Oh. Right. Stuff."

"Stuff," Twilight repeated, because some ponies responded to brilliance through waiting for it to be explained.

"All the stuff in the cottage. You should move that out first. Because it'll drop the weight. That'll probably help. And the animals need to be evacuated. Even the birds would get disoriented. I guess the cats would land on their paws, though. Definitely gotta move the eggs. They can't be so fragile that a corona shouldn't touch them, right? So it's gonna take at least ten minutes to clear it all out. Maybe less if ponies help. There's more ponies coming, right? I mean, you probably teleported here, so that's why you're the first to show up. It'll be work. Applejack should love that." With a touch of mutter, "For some dumb reason..."

Although Applejack coming in felt like an oddly bad idea --

"Pull a building off its foundation," the librarian slowly said.

"It'll be an empty one!"

"There's a basement --"

It took Rainbow a split-second to remember what those were, because building underground had a certain cloud-free requirement. "So lift that too." She wanted to airily wave a foreleg in a dismissive manner, and couldn't. Extra insult. "It'll probably appreciate the view."

"Rainbow," the librarian too-slowly said, "even if we weren't talking about mass capacity and -- just being really, really stupid -- do you know what structural integrity is?"

A mare who built with vapor considered the term.

"No. Is it boring?"

It was.

"Oh," Rainbow finally said, mostly to make the lecture stop. "So you... can't help."

"Not that way."

"You'll stick around, though?" the weather coordinator checked. "In case you think of something?" Twilight was good for that. Sometimes. And it was best to have her do it in the presence of friends, because the librarian didn't always think of the right things. Unlike Rainbow, who almost never came up with anything else.

"I'll stay," Twilight promised. "But I should clear the roof until something does come to mind. There's more ponies on the way."

Pinkie was... quiet.

It happened. It wasn't exactly common, but it had certainly been known to take place. It was hard to remain friends with Fluttershy unless you were willing to Shut It once in a while, and the group's biggest extrovert had eventually learned to give her opposite number a little peace. And Pinkie could find joy in near-silent solitude; the ice-skating sessions proved that. There were times when Rainbow liked to find a hidden spot near the lake and just watch Pinkie in winter action, because skating was very much like low-level gliding and some of the leaps were stunts of their own.

But when she was with the others, Pinkie would generally talk. Tell jokes. If somepony was hurting -- physically, emotionally, anything -- she would do whatever it took to make them feel better. And this time...

She'd brought food, and Rainbow truly appreciated that. Clean water was offered. And Pinkie did all the work in feeding Rainbow, acting very much as a nurse would. Looking after every need, until it was time for somepony else to come in. Pinkie was in and out of the area, up and down, and -- when compared to her normal output, didn't talk very much. But she would respond to questions, kept the tone light, and even offered up a few quips.

Or she would reminisce.

Those were the weird bits.

"Did you know you can bake bread outdoors?"

Rainbow, whose preferred method of food supply acquisition was to find out what her friends were having for dinner and then mooch from the tastiest limited menu, attempted what had been meant as a rather eloquent shrug. It didn't mean much when most of her shoulders refused to shift.

"You really really can," Pinkie continued, glancing over at Rainbow from her position on the pegasus' right flank. (The baker had lowered all of that solid earth pony weight into the sod shortly after arrival, just to make Rainbow a little more comfortable.) "It's about temperature control as much as anything else, along with molding the shape. Open fires make that first one harder, but it's not impossible. And there's this cooking invention called the Gelderlander Oven. It's very solid. Heavy. They don't open easily, even with something's expanding inside them. You can put dough in one, and if you're careful... the metal gives the edges this beautiful crust, Rainbow. The hardest part is taking the bread out without breaking anything."

"So you're going to make me bread up here?" Rainbow quickly checked. "Because the pastries were fine --"

"-- the funny thing about Gelderlander bread," Pinkie went on, "is that it gets huge. And I don't mean because the yeast goes crazy. Those ovens come in all sorts of sizes. Some of them are big enough for two ponies to stand in! Because the ovens come from this place with traditions. One of them is wedding bread. It's really special, Rainbow. The Cakes and I only tried to make it once, and you have to do it outdoors because the oven won't fit in Sugarcube Corner."

A certain number of memories were beginning to press against the sod.

Huge black metal thing behind the bakery with a lot of wood around it and light brown stuff inside.
Soft-looking brown stuff.

Rainbow tried to ignore them.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Pinkie told her. "It's almost funny, really. Or maybe it is, but nopony laughs because wedding bread is traditional and ponies get really mad when you laugh at their traditions. I'd know. Anyway, we just tried it once. Because there was a pony from that area in Ponyville, she was getting married, and... she wanted her special wedding bread. The giant round dome loaf where the ponies start on opposite sides and when they eat their way into the kiss at the middle, they're married."

"They can eat all that?"

"It's a very soft bread," Pinkie stated. "Really really airy."

Soft...

"The dough is soft, too." the baker added. "But we still didn't have enough room indoors. So we spent all day just getting enough of the dough together. Then I loaded up the oven behind the bakery, got the wood arranged, and went back inside to get the firestarter. I didn't want that close to the dough while I was loading the oven, in case I kicked it by accident while I was going up and down the ramp. Then I heard something. And when I reached the oven again, the dough was -- indented."

"Indented," felt in no way safe to say, and was still all Rainbow had.

"Yeah! In the shape of somepony's body. Maybe a mare. But that would have been okay, because it hadn't started cooking yet. I could have smoothed it out."

"That's good," was marginally better.

"The pinions were harder, though."

"...pinions," probably hadn't been a good idea.

It's what they teach you at flight camp. If you're coming in too fast, you look for anything soft.
That's not my fault.

"They were embedded into the dough. Deep. Like they'd hit going really really fast. Some of the vanes had broken off. And it's like Rarity's needles when she gets them going, you know? There's penetration. And we all looked it over, and we couldn't tell how deep the damage went. Or prove who did it, because the dough changed the color of the feathers. And you don't want a happy couple to be eating their way to union and bite into a feather, because then they won't be happy. And they might choke a lot. So we couldn't just take out the bad part, because that could have been all of it. We had to toss the entire batch. We lost a whole day..."

Blue eyes placidly looked up.

"Sun's moving," Pinkie observed. "It does that."

And then she was quiet again.

Rarity's first visit, when viewed through the highly-polished lens of memory, had been -- timed.

"Rather quiet up here," the white unicorn observed as she came into too-high view.

"Quiet," Rainbow huffed, "and boring. I've been stuck looking at the same view for -- hours, right? Tell me it's been hours. It sure feels like hours. Or maybe everything feels like hours when you're stuck in one place and can't move. If it wasn't for Moon not showing up yet, I'd swear it's been days." Hesitated. "It's been hours, right? Tell me it's been --"

"-- you can look at Sun any time you like," Rarity interrupted. "Or in its general vicinity, at least."

"And when it comes to quiet," the aggravation of forced stillness pressed on, "I thought there was gonna be more noise. Ponies trying to clear out the room under me, for starters. To make a little more space for figuring a way to get me out of this." She felt the emphasis had been appropriately subtle. "It's been hours and nopony's come up with an answer!"

"We're still trying to figure out how to move the eggs," the designer smoothly said. "Fluttershy assures me they're extremely delicate. One hardly wishes to risk the unborn, now does one?"

"...no," Rainbow finally agreed.

"Additionally, all work done in the presence of our host tends to forfeit decibels. And we're also waiting on an extra opinion," the unicorn added. "Perhaps that will prove useful in what we're trying to accomplish."

She paused. Curls flounced as she turned her head to casually look down at Rainbow.

"How are you holding up?"

"It's been hours," Rainbow forced out between the strainer of her teeth, "and I can't move. How do you think I'm --"

"-- well, yes," Rarity broke in. "But as it has been hours, I was wondering how you were coping in matters of, shall we say... personal hygiene."

Most of Rainbow's body froze. Dangling, utterly useless legs locked up entirely. Her bladder, by contrast, twitched.

"I hate you," Rainbow decided.

"Do you now?" Which emerged with light, open amusement. (It didn't help.) "Do you really?"

"I hadn't thought about it," Rainbow half-hissed. "When you don't think about it, sometimes you don't feel it. And then somepony reminds you..." and then it's all you can think about, I'm thinking about it right now, I want to stop "...and it's the worst thing ever. You don't know what that's like..."

The left forehoof airily waved in a rather dismissive way. "Actually, I would," Rarity stated. "I can only speak for my own profession, of course. But at times, I do get -- let us say, lost in my work. Time... slips by, Rainbow. Hours are measured solely by how long it takes to load additional spools into my sewing devices. I become a creature which exists only to continue the current actions. Time moves through me..."

Which was exactly how Rainbow felt during all the best stunts, and so awareness of her bladder momentarily faded. "Really?"

"Oh, yes," the designer declared. "I suppose you would call it being 'in the zone', would you not?"

"Yeah!" Was this another link?

"A hard state to achieve," Rarity mused. "And fragile to maintain. As fragile as the eggs we are trying so hard to protect. I have... done silly things to remain in that zone, Rainbow: I admit that. Neglecting to eat? Surely I cannot stop at any point, because to pause in my creation would lose the precious state of flow."

I didn't need to hear you say 'flow'.

"So the hunger is ignored," the unicorn blissfully continued. "Health becomes something else to neglect. I can recall at least two occasions during which I quite literally worked myself sick. And I lock the Boutique's doors, I do my best to close out all sound, nearly all sights other than inner visions. After feeding my cat, of course. But once that is done... better to close the shop than to risk losing the zone. You understand, I'm sure."

"Yes," Rainbow solidly said. "By the way, if this takes much longer --"

"-- Fluttershy is feeding Tank."

Rainbow exhaled. "Good." Saved by her friends -- or rather, the tortoise had been. Rainbow's fate felt as if it was still up in the air, which meant she was currently jealous of her fate and wanted to swap places with it. "So about getting me out of here --"

"-- whatever it takes to remain within the zone," Rarity sighed. "Ignore food. The need for rest. And of course, I've gone too many hours without taking care of the more -- eliminatory needs, but I hardly feel them most of the time. Until, just by way of fully random example, I might happen to be shaken by the sound of my entire outdoor washing line crashing into the ground after a mysterious high-speed impact produced by an unknown party. Which jolts me back to reality. And then it all catches up with me at once, while the inner vision flees. Leaving me with half a dream, and all of the work effectively lost." Another sigh. "But never mind that. This is about your own predicament, is it not? So. 'Personal hygiene'. Any issues?"

"Not until you opened your mouth," Rainbow muttered as awareness returned. And now she couldn't stop thinking about it. Why had Pinkie brought her so many drinks?

...well, yes: keeping her hydrated under warm spring Sun. But still --

-- Rarity was looking at her. The expression was somewhat calculating.

"What?" Rainbow mistaked.

"Well," Rarity announced, "you are rather flush against the sod. So there may be some initial difficulty in making full arrangements. Still... it's one of the most basic designs there is, correct? Even when it needs to be a precision fit. So really, all I require is a great length of cloth to put through the proper folds, and then I can make you a diap --"

"-- I'll kill you."

As declarations of intent went, Rainbow felt it had been definitive. Solid enough to fall through the roof. There was a chance that the plummet would open up a hole large enough for her to escape, but she would still be risking the eggs.

Rarity blinked.

"That seems extreme."

"Kill. You," Rainbow repeated. "They're for foals. I'm a grown mare --"

"-- if rather low to the ground --" Rarity helpfully added.

"-- and there is no way I'm going to be put into a... a...!"

Her wings flared of their own accord, attempted to express sentiment when words had run out. Rainbow just barely kept them from beating against the sod again.

"Very well," Rarity shrugged. "As you like. I suppose I'll go see how the others are doing. While we wait for our last arrival, of course. Which will give you some privacy." The unicorn turned, began to trot away --

-- and then turned back.

"Also," she added, "I suppose both sod and straw are rather -- absorbent."

She left.

Rainbow tried not to think about her bladder.

Her bladder, which didn't like being ignored, decided to think about her.

If somepony else is still coming...

Rainbow winced. Her bladder, acting in false empathy, came close to doing the same.

Just about all Rainbow could see at ground level from her current angle was the hat. The remainder, which stuck out past the brim, consisted of a thin, slightly twisted, decidedly mercenary and rather orange smirk.

"Applejack?"

The "Yeah?" was solidly aimed upwards.

"Don't you have work?" Please go back to work...

"It's spring," the farmer said. "Early part, no less. Ah've pretty much got nothin' except work. Can't hardly stop for a minute."

"Then why are you here?"

The smirk twisted a little more. "Entertainment."

...oh, you think you're so funny... "Any brilliant work ideas for getting me out of this?"

Honesty thought it over.

"Ah'm completely certain that Ah couldn't say whether Ah've thought of anythin' t' get you out which the others didn't come up with before Ah got here," the earth pony announced.

Rainbow's entire body wanted to twitch. Her legs considered kicking at something, and then her hooves remembered about the eggs.

"Then go home," the pegasus huffily tried to order. To have Applejack see her like this, unable to move at all... it was worse than the race and rope. "Just -- go --"

"Nah," the farmer decided. "Ah can wait t' clean up those odd little trenches which keep showin' up in the fresh plantin' zone. Y'know. The ones other than the deliberate, where we all put down the seeds. Three times so far. Besides, maybe Ah don't have any speech-worthy idea for clearin' you, but Ah can at least improve things a mite."

Rainbow's ears perked, mostly because they were the only part of her body which were free to do that.

"Really?"

"Sure do!" The hat tilted back, and Rainbow finally saw the full grin. "Ah'm comin' up! An' Rarity --" this was addressed to the left, beyond Rainbow's limited sight line "-- Ah think Ah could use the fine horn touch on this one. Come up with me? 'Shy, stay here for a bit. An' you, jus' hold back 'til we're done. Like we talked 'bout while Ah was on the way in."

Soft wads of fabric. String. Pieces of yarn. All of it being arranged in piles around her, some of which quickly got placed out of sight just to make room.

"What's all this stuff?" was a fully natural inquiry.

"Can't figure for exactly how long you'll be up here," the farmer solidly stated. "But that ain't a comfortable position, is it?"

"Not really," Rainbow's bladder said on her behalf. "So what are you going to do?"

Applejack was looking down at her.

"Never realized you were this short," the farmer announced.

"So. What. Are. You. Going. To --"

"-- pad it out a bit, for starters. Rarity, you've got the eye for this stuff. Can y'make sure it's even? Goes where it needs t' be?"

"Of course, dear," came from somewhere behind Rainbow, and select pieces of the fresh quasi-debris were outlined in soft blue. "This shouldn't be too difficult..."

Rainbow, who had the best eyesight in the group, was peering at the nearest pile. "That looks like somepony's shed tail hair."

"Well, Fluttershy," Rarity breezily announced. "One works with the available materials. Now, where to start with the wood...?"

"Wood?" Rainbow quickly asked. "Why wood?"

"A reading shelf, for starters," Rarity said. "We were discussing it on the way up. Pile it up at the right height, arrange to support a hardcover. It's just a matter of interwoven branches, Rainbow. And I can also construct little storage areas. Places to put mugs, if you're still willing to risk those. Foodstuffs. All within ready reach of your mouth."

Reading might make the wait for a Completely Obvious Answer somewhat less boring. And a good book could potentially provide her bladder with a distraction, especially since it was already trying to write a cliffhanger and Rainbow knew exactly how that plot ended. "Sounds good," she decided. "Go ahead."

The wood came into view. It seemed to consist of dead branches. All shapes, sorts, and lengths. The only commonality was that every piece was flexible, as Rarity had very little trouble weaving them around each other. No cracking resulted.

"And I can use the wood sculpture spell to smooth out any rough spots," the unseen unicorn added. "Applejack, a little direction, if you would?"

Rainbow could only watch as it all came together. From what she could see when turning her head, Rarity was going for a full circle. Having a backpiece probably made the front support easier -- or at least, that was the theory: Rainbow really didn't know how non-vapor construction worked.

Branches woven around and into each other. Bits of string, yarn, and tail hair to bind the results. Padding here and there, some of which was carefully pushed underneath her in the name of softening. It was coming together so quickly, just like a giant --

-- wait...

Rainbow looked.

A full circle of dead branches, carefully placed in an elevated location. Debris holding it all together. Padding at the bottom. And a center occupant with wings.

"No." Too soft, almost too soft for her own ears, and yet she saw Applejack smile. "No, no, no..."

And then she heard it.

Perhaps she never would have picked up on the sound of walking claws. If he was moving down Ponyville's cobblestone streets, then there could be little scratching noises: tiny, unconscious bits of scoring against stone. But on sod -- nothing. It could have been a fully silent approach, if not for the giggling.

She couldn't spin. She couldn't make a move on him. She couldn't fly. All she could helplessly, hopelessly do was turn her head until the glint of light reflecting off scales bounced into her eyes. Which wasn't anywhere near as bad as the reflection she was getting from the lens.

"Don't you bucking dare," Rainbow hissed. "I'll get you back. You've got about six seconds to put the camera down, walk away from the shutter, and save your life. You know there's gonna be payback. I will end you..."

The youth thought about it. The giggling stopped.

"You're right," he said.

Rainbow risked another exhale. Applejack and Rarity indulged in a perfectly-matching mutual sigh.

"But the way I see it right now," the little dragon decided as he raised the camera, focusing on the pegasus who had been placed in the center of the nest, "that's Future Spike's problem."

The flashbulbs went off. Four times. And while Rainbow was still furiously blinking away dazzle and planning a half-dozen murders and trying to do it all without kicking and risking more damage, she heard a pegasus land on her left.

"...as long as you're in that position," the soft voice asked, "do you mind giving me a little help? Because I always need eggs kept warm..."

"FLUTTERSHY --"

"-- but they have to be kept safe, Rainbow," the near-whisper pressed on. "So safe, from a danger which got too close! Because the eggs from Glamvidious Corvids? Are the most natural prey of the fearsome Furrow Beast!"

Silence dropped onto the roof and, in the name of having some company, so did the fourth horseshoe. The first three fell into place just to make it a set. And in the near-deadly quiet, lofted cyan ears could hear other hooves approaching.

"Glamvidious Corvids," Rainbow too-slowly said, "don't exist. Do they?"

"...well, neither does the Furrow Beast," Fluttershy smiled. "It's only fair."

And Rainbow couldn't speak.

"We love you," Twilight's voice drifted in from behind. "We really do. But we get tired, Rainbow. Tired of coming outside after hearing the crash. And when we're not panicking because you got hurt again, we're tired because there's a mess and the mare who caused it already left." Paused. "Oh, and my corona doesn't work that way for moving things. You would have remembered that if you'd, I don't know, paid attention. Ever."

"...you did go through my roof," Fluttershy quietly explained. "But your legs are just in part of the attic. There's no nests there. No eggs. I didn't see that at first, because I was too busy making sure you weren't really injured. But once I knew you were all right... I went back inside and sort of -- secured your legs. Made it harder for you to get out. And then... I just stalled. Because I know you. We all know each other at least a little, don't we? And you hate being stuck in one place. Hate being lower than everypony. Hate not being able to get away..."

"Fluttershy explained it all in the letters she sent with the carrier pigeons," an unseen Pinkie offered. "I decided to go along with it, at least to where I'd let them act without interfering. And I thought you'd be hungry. But personally, when it comes to teaching you about sticking around? I have my own plans."

And before that horror could sink in, Rarity added her tenth-bit. "Rainbow Responsibility Dash, is it? Perhaps you could leave the supposed middle name behind once in a while. To act when you will not, as you hardly take responsibility for the damages."

"An' Ah," Applejack chimed in, "had no problems with this at'tall. Not after all the replantings around the Acres. Except for the part where we didn't use the fire."

"FIRE --"

"...we were going to start talking about burning you out with a controlled blaze from Spike," Fluttershy softly told her. "The eggs would be fireproof. Magically. But I decided that was going too far."

They were taking turns. All of them. Playing with me like they were passing a hoofball around...

"It's still not fair!" Rainbow exclaimed. "It's mean!"

"It's a prank," Twilight said. "You've done worse."

Well, yeah, but this is doing it to me. Anypony else and it would have been funny. If I'd picked out, say, Flitter --

-- no. She couldn't let her own mind get on their side. "No! There's nothing you could have done to make this worse than it was! A pegasus in a nest! How does that --"

Scales audibly slipped against each other as Spike's arms folded over his chest.

"We could have invited the whole town," the little dragon stated. "With extra cameras."

Silence.

"...oh," the weather coordinator softly Fluttershied.

"Yeah," Spike said. "Worse."

They all mirrored each other. They learned from each other. And for the first time, Rainbow considered what the others might have been picking up from her. Little things like seeking revenge through the art of the prank. In her opinion, when it came to that topic, she'd taught them a little too much.

...was that a scroll? That it wasn't always good to have something in common with everypony?

Maybe. But it sure wasn't one for today.

"Are you done?" she asked the group. "Is everypony --"

"-- more or less," Fluttershy interrupted. "I'll go into the room and undo everything. Including the pinching around the top of your legs. Then Twilight will lift you free. And then you'll stay right here, and help fix everything. Followed by going to everypony else's homes and fixing any crash damage which might still be there. And then we're done. Do you understand?"

Rainbow considered the humiliation of having been caught. Of cleaning up after herself and even worse, setting precedent.

Her mind voted NO.
The bladder cast an immediate override.

"...fine."

Fluttershy nodded.

"Oh," the caretaker smoothly added as she began to trot away, "and I reinforced the roof before you woke up. Why do you think I was willing to let everypony stand up here to start with?"

Rainbow was silent.

She waited. After a time, some of the tangled sensation around her legs went away. Then more of it vanished. The pinching eased. A hoof knock sounded from below, and Twilight's corona lifted --

-- cyan wings flared, beat furiously at the air, surged Rainbow out of the corona as she pushed for her life --

-- pinkish light moved faster still, and pulled her back.

"Rainbow --" an angry librarian began.

"BATHROOM!"

Four mares and one dragon hesitated.

"That's fair," Twilight allowed. "I'll carry you in."

You were supposed to let me go do it on my own. Rainbow really had been too good of a teacher.

The instinct to avoid cleanup battled with the desire for 'personal hygiene', with the resulting conflict leaving Rainbow locked in place within the corona bubble.

"Rainbow?" Applejack, looking up at her. (At least that was back.) "Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"

They're not going to let me get away, are they?

"That if I still make a break for it," the pegasus reluctantly admitted, "then repairing everything becomes Future Rainbow's problem."

"That's true," Applejack allowed.

Five seconds passed.

"Rainbow?" the farmer said.

"Yeah?"

"Welcome t' the future."

Straw was horrible. It got in her fur and stuck between feathers. And it was still a wonder of the universe compared to sod. Sod tasted horrible. And when she thought about what it had to be like to wear hoof-hammer shoes over delicate keratin -- well, delicate for her, because Sun knew her hooves got sore -- and to keep putting stuff like planks and nails and dowels in your mouth...

The repairs were disgusting, and it wasn't just because of the work. It was ground, and everything which came both with and from it.

And Fluttershy still had construction to do after the repairs. All of those horrible tastes added to hours of pointless labor. Possibly even days.

The weary scientist considered theories.

A few of the finer details escaped her.

...all right. Cloudwalking spell. The permanent version with the low weight limit and ridiculous cost, which Twilight couldn't cast. So that was absolutely a factor, and explained why none of the felines she'd flown into the new construct had appreciated it. Forget all of the silent labor Rainbow had put in under Moon, sacrificing just about all of reason-restoring sleep and a certain degree of memory to get it all done. They'd been expecting solidity, and that was why none of them appreciated her gift of a vapor tower for the cottage. Even after she'd gone to so much trouble on the inner platforms and been so careful about arranging good views from the windows.

But as it turned out, they really did always land on their paws.