Time Served

Opaline Arcana, the Queen of Fire, was livid.

First, centuries of plotting had nearly gone out the window when Celestia and Luna retired for some doubtlessly foolish reason, and gave both of their crowns to the same foal barely out of diapers.

But that would have been fine. With such an inexperienced ruler, her plans were practically guaranteed to work. Especially as Equestria hadn't quite recovered from the slapdash social sabotage the Pegasus filly somehow got away with. In fact, she had just been preparing to tip the first domino which would bring about Sparkle's ruination...

As Discord appeared in the middle of her meticulously hidden home, and turned her to stone with a snap of his freakish claws! Worse yet, unlike most spells which inflict such a condition, she was still conscious!

"You can only repeat the same inner monologue so many times, Opaline," Discord drawled, deliberately mispronouncing her name. "I actually tried to see how many times I could recite the Bee Movie script, myself. After a point, I realized my mind had shut down for a few years without me noticing.

"Anyway, you're probably wondering why I'm just waiting around here instead of, say, exposing all of your plots and sending you to Tartarus."

She wasn't. She was far too busy picturing his severed head being shoved up his-

"Ah-ah! This story isn't rated for that kind of language! For shame, my dear!" The creature prattled on, as if he was making any sense. "Hm... nah, too overdone. But to answer the hypothetical question I'm pretending you want to ask... I'm waiting for the right moment to teleport you directly to Twilight Sparkle!"

He thought that infant was a threat to her, even like this? Ridiculous!

"Of course you don't bat an eye at that. Even on my word, she'd want to interrogate you before making a judgement. And you're not quite insane enough yet that you wouldn't be able to fool her," He conceded, "but that's where the timing comes in. See, she's about to cast a spell tailor-made to... deal with... certain malignant threats to Equestria. Such as the terrible trio you have so much in common with!"

Nonsense. That little fetus would never do what he's implying.

"So I'm going to wait until the moment before the spell goes off to teleport you directly to ground zero, so she never realizes you were there at all. And then at least one timeline will be spared from wrecking our hard-earned happily ever after."

She wouldn't... right? ... Of course not. She's a naive, innocent embryo. There's no way.

The amalgamated abomination's ear perks, and he glances in the direction of Canterlot. "Oh, it's starting! Now, hold still! And be quiet, you don't want me distracted when I do this..."

Moreover, Discord doesn't go for that kind of... solution. Yes, he's definitely just messing with her... right?

"Three... two.... one.... aaaaand..."

*Snap*

A few days later, in Canterlot...

Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, was livid. And she was neither a villain (in this lifetime, at least), nor physically unable to speak, so she'd forego the inner monologue in favour of a nice, healthy furious rant. Once the target of her ire showed up, of course.

In nearly every way, he was unpredictable. Nearly. But with her recently unlocked memories, she knew that all she had to do was plant a certain idea in the ear of her friend Fluttershy, and like clockwork...

... Discord strolled into the room from behind a light fixture. "Hi, Princess. You wouldn't know if Philomena is still around, would you? Fluttershy wanted to see her again."

Twilight smiled. "Yes, that's probably because I told a delightful anecdote about the time Philomena nested in my mane."

Discord very nearly started laughing at the mental image, before freezing in place in realization with an audible crackle of ice.

Twilight had, of course, already warded the room to prevent his escape.

Discord nervously chuckled. "Uh, how wonderful! Haha, say, have you done something with your mane? You look positively Glowing."

"Can't help yourself, can you?"

"Coping mechanism."

Twilight gave a brief, but sincere giggle. For all that she was angry at him, he was still a friend, and learning about this facet of him was a treat.

"I'm sure you've realized by now why you're in trouble this time," she stated.

"Yyeeeessss," he ventured, "but in the interest of not incriminating myself, I'll wait for you to spell it out."

How... refreshingly direct. For Discord, anyway.

"Well, I do have a good rant prepared," Twilight said, before producing a binder. "I even managed to trim it down to just a two hour lecture!"

Discord flinched. Hm. Maybe Cadance had a point about her lectures...

"But," she continued, "a certain friend of mine wanted you to herself for a while, first."

Discord briefly raised an eyebrow in confusion, before realizing that the room had been rapidly getting warmer since he arrived. He slowly turned to look behind him, and saw a Unicorn with an amber coat, and a two-toned red and gold mane. Her face was the epitome of fury, and she appeared to be passively producing fire from her magic aura.

"I want a few words with you about due process, Discord." said Sunset Shimmer, who in that moment could very easily be described as a Queen of Fire.