Chapters Breathe…
It all begins with the breath…
Breathe in…
I remember how frail she looked… I knew I loved her, but I also knew there was nothing I could say to make things better…
Breathe out…
And then, one day, she didn’t move anymore…
… She was still and lifeless… And I saw that and couldn’t take it… I couldn’t take the pain, and so I burned it! I burned it to the ground, and left!
… Then, I was alone…
I was all by myself, and wandered through the fields…
I know I live north of the Everfree, and I know I was walking towards Cloudsdayle, but I don’t know where I met her…
The changeling who would become my new mother…
I open my eyes to see the roof of my room, inside the hive…
I know it was two years ago, but it’s a pain that just never goes away…
I stare up at the greenish-blue polyps of the ceiling and think to myself that that used to be bluer!
Suddenly, the fleshy door to my room dissipates to reveal a bluish-white creature there, with many horns on her head, and a kind, albeit alien look in her wisteria purple eyes… “Good morning, my precious Binky!”
I stare up at her, from the soft gooey mattress region of my room, “Good morning, mom!”
“I need an extra big dose this morning, cause there’s more egg laying to do here in the spring!” She states, as she trots into the room, and the fleshy mass closes behind her…
“One extra heavy dose of love, coming right up!” I say as I roll off to the left of my bed, and land on the carapace floor, with a clank of my hooves, to begin trotting towards her…
As I become enveloped in her loving forehooves, I return the affection, and smile in happiness…
“How could I not love you, mom? You saved me!”
“I’m happy to hear that Binky! Because there’s something important I needed to speak to you about!”
I stay in her loving legs, “What’s that?”
“Ugh!” She grunts before giving me a tight and loving squeeze and then lets me go, to land on her hooves, and smile at me, “Well, it’s about the new Changeling Exchange Program, at Ponyville Elementary!”
I frown, “Changeling Exchange Program?”
<*****>
The changeling widens his pale orchid eyes, inside the lightergreen carapace, frowns his insectoid mouth, and says “I don’t know?” to the dark green changeling, before turning to the other yellowish-green changeling of the crew, “Do you wanna go by Cara, instead of Carapace?”
“Uh, um, yes please!” The other changeling says, as he shirks back, and his blue eyes grow wide…
His light green leg comes to his face, as his eyes narrow, “Ugh! You’re such a wuss!”
Cara frowns, while the light green changeling in the center finally speaks, “Um, does anyone know where we’re supposed to go? They just told us this address!”
I finally clear my throat from 10 feet away, “Uh, we should probably go see the receptionist?”
The first changeling stares at me, wide-eyed, “Holy crap! That actually makes sense!”
The yellowish-green changeling widens his gaze at me, “Oh, you’re the foal that Chrysalis adopted , that time before we were born!” and smiles, “Yeah, my name is Bumble!” he points at that lighter changeling, “That’s Pincer!” and then at the jungle green changeling, “He’s Carapace!”
Carapace smiles at me, “Um, you can just call me Cara, please!” before staring to the side and blushing…
“Such a wuss!”
I smile warmly, “I use to feed love to all three of you, when you were larvae!” when I remember that changeling formative years are a bit different and faster than ponies…
Bumble frowns at me, “It’s the Life-Giver !”
Pincer enlarges his gaze to me, “The Life-Giver’s going to school with us! Cool!”
Cara looks at Bumble, “Life-Giver?”
Bumble stares at Cara, “Yeah, she fed us love for so long, while mommy was building her hive, remember?”
“Well, yeah! I know that! But you two have been calling her the Life-Giver? When did that start?”
Pincer adds, “You’d probably know that, if you actually talked to us?”
“Wait! You changelings call me the Life-Giver ?”
Cara looks at me, “Well, they have, apparently… “
“Ahem!” Cherilee clears her throat at the center of the podium, at the front of the class, and raises her voice, “Greetings, changeling class ! You’ve been assembled here because you’re being introduced to pony society, and the school has seen fit to give you special classes for the first week, before school starts after summer!” before lowering her voice, “And because I need money, after not working for two months!”
Pincer says, “See? We’re just a paycheck!”
Cara says, “Wait! Our time is worth money?”
Bumble replies, “Duh!”
Cherilee speaks up, “QUIET CLASS!”
All the changelings, and I raise our gaze towards the front desk, as the magenta earth pony clears her throat again, “Will you please take your seats class, so we can begin?”
The changelings head towards the desk area of the classroom, while I say to Cherilee, “Wait! This is the Changeling Exchange Program , right? Why am I even here? I’m a pony, remember?”
Cherilee smiles at me, while staring at me with loving blue eyes, “Yes, I understand that Binky, but you’ve been through a lot of trauma, and after two years of time with Chrysalis, they said you needed to be reintegrated into pony society , and since the program was starting soon anyway, it seemed like a good way to begin!”
“It wasn’t that bad!”
She frowns, “Binky, you saw your own mother die, slowly and horribly in front of you! Don’t you believe you should work on that?”
I gaze at this pony as I frown in suspicion… “What kind of class is this?”
“A integration course ! Nothing more!”
I squint my eyes as I walk towards the desks…
I see Pincer in the back, Bumble near the center, and Cara up front…
“Take your seat Binky, and we can begin!”
I sigh, and decide to sit in the desk next to me, somewhere between the first two changelings, and stare forward…
<*****>
I trot behind the three changelings, on our trek back north to our hive, in the Everfree…
I find myself lost in thought…
I keep thinking this is about more than just integration?
If it is, is that a bad thing?
Well, that depends! What is their goals?
“Hey! I heard your mommy died! I bet you cry about it a lot, right?” I hear a feminine voice yell behind me…
“Poor baby!” I hear a slightly lower pitch voice say…
I turn around and narrow my eyes, to see a pink earth filly, with a white mane, sporting baby blue highlights, and to her left, a gray filly with a white mane, and stylish blue temple-less glasses… “Who are you two?”
The pink filly struts forward to say to me, “Oh, just somepony who just feels so bad for you!” before snickering as she approaches me…
Pincer steps out from behind me, to get between us, “Hey, Binky’s been through a lot! Leave her alone!”
The pink filly stops and lowers her view, “Oh, who’s gonna stop me? You, bug boy?”
Pincer sneers, “Your move, bleach pone!”
I sigh, and begin trotting to brush Pincer to the right as I approach the pink foal, shoot my right forehoof to her throat, and rush my forehead towards her snout, to make contact, to throw her off my hoof, and I trot forward with same hoof, to bring my off-hoof into her jaw, making a visible bruise below her mouth, and she turns to gallop away!
“This isn’t over!” I hear her shout as she runs away, with her gray friend!
“Come back, so I can hurt you some more!” I shout at her, as I continue walking forward!*
Eventually, I see pale verdant mandible go over my body, to force me to stop walking, as I hear Pincer say, “You proved your point! Let her go… “
I stand in my tracks, as I frown as the pink foal running away in the distance…
I feel liquid exiting my eyes again…
I feel the fluid reaching my snout, to go around my mouth as I say, “I’m fine! You three uh, just go ahead! I’ll be by soon!”
I feel the mandible leave my body, as he says, “That’s fine, Binky! But we’re your brothers! You need to let us in , sometimes… “ before I see a green bug moving away from me, after passing my right…
“I’m fine!” I shout at the changeling…
As he continues to trot away…
“Ugh!” I roll my eyes, and trot to follow, as more liquid falls to the ground, from my face…
I eventually stop, to use my hoof to wipe my face, and I note the changeling continuing to trot slowly, away from me…
“Hey, wait up!” I shout, as I run forward…
I decide I don’t want to be alone, so I pull up to his left, as he turns his face to me, “Ready to talk about it, yet?”
I look at him, “Talk about what?”
He sighs, and nods, “Have it your way!” before turning to stare forward…
… I’m starting to suspect this is all some kind of setup?
I finally turn back to stare forward, myself…
Who was that punk?
And how did she know about my mother?
<*****>
I see the three changeling brothers trotting into the hive, from the fleshy membrane up front, and so I hurriedly trot towards that direction, in the boring hive…
“Where’s Binky”
Pincer looks at me, “She’s coming! Uh, something happened?”
Suddenly, I notice, a pink filly, with a horn on her head, and disheveled purple mane trotting through the cover, and so I trot towards her, and embrace her in a loving hug!
“What’s wrong, my precious Binky?”
“Nothing’s wrong! I’m fine! Totally well! Yeah!” She says before slowly returning the hug…
I begin to feel that rush again…
“That’s not what I heard, Binky! It’s okay! I’m here for you !” I say, while keeping the wonderful child , in my forelegs…
Binky finally sighs… “Can I have a snack, before I tell you about my day?”
I eventually release the foal, and turn to trot away, “Alright, Binky! I shall fetch you some berries! But you will tell me about your day!” and head towards the storeroom, in back of the hive…
I can almost feel a gulp going down the filly’s throat, as I look to find berries, in the vast room…
(To be continued… )
Author's Note
*There it is again! My rage!
I’ll admit, I’m feeling meaner than usual, today!
Mother yelled at me, again, over some silly formality, that wasn’t even my fault!
I sigh as Silver Spoon, oblivious as ever, fails to notice me, and we both trot through the street…
Suddenly, I see a pink unicorn foal, just ahead of me, walking alone some distance behind changelings, and crossing the road, left to right!
I smirk when I think about how I could torment that particular unicorn…
Her mother’s dead! I know she’ll fall apart!
I begin trotting faster, and I hear Silver Spoon say, “Hey, where are you going Diamond?” before I hear her little hooves beginning to pick up their pace on the cobblestone streets of Ponyville…
My smile enlarges when I’m suddenly glad I read the news in The Ponyville Express!
<*****>
I stood there, in the classroom, while my blue marefriend was staring back at me, with her purple eyes underneath her enormous purple hat, “So uh, you’re sick, or?”
I sigh, “Well Trixie, I didn’t feel well , and I overslept anyway! I hope it didn’t get too bad without me here?” before frowning…
Her eyes widen, “Oh, no! Sunburst stepped in and took over like a pro! Your lesson plans are very detailed!”
I smile, “Well I’m sure I’ll be better by Monday, anyway!”
“Are we still on for Saturday, Starlight?”
My own gaze enlarges, “Oh, sure! I’m sure that whatever this is should be long gone, by then!”
She smiles and takes two steps towards me, and embraces me in her forehooves, “Okay, baby! Go home, and get some rest!”
I return the embrace with my own forehooves, and say, “Will do, Trixie!”
And Trixie moves away from me, to nuzzle, and almost do something else, before I shout, “NO KISSING!”
She frowns and moves her head back, “Whoa! What?”
I sigh, “Look, baby, if I’m sick, I wouldn’t want you to catch it, right?” and smile modestly at her.
Her violet gaze increases, “Um, okay! That’s a good point!”
I smile and nod, “Let me recover first, okay? And on Saturday, I’ll give you all kinds of love !”
She breathes out, and eyes me carefully, “I’m holding you to it!”
I giggle slightly, “Count on it, baby! But I need to trot home now, okay?”
She nods, and I see the point of her hat go up and down, before she says, “Alright, darling! Be careful!”
“Always!” I say, before turning to exit the room…
<*****>
I can’t believe that little pink pony beat me up! I think as I gallop through the streets, with fluid coming out of my eyes…
I swear, I will get revenge! I need to make her pay!
My jaw really hurts…
“Hey, whoa!” I hear a pony I don’t see, as I pass by an intersection…
I widen my eyes, when I realize that I’m not really paying attention to where I’m going!
I hear my clopping down the streets, in silence, before…
“Hey, slow down, little filly! What’s wrong?” I hear the same voice shout…
I hear trotting behind me, before I begin to slow my pace…
CLIP… CLOP…
I stop in the road, and hear the voice again, “What’s wrong, filly?”
I hear her clopping stop…
And I finally turn around, and 10 feet away, I notice a frowning magenta unicorn, with a two-toned purple cowlick style mane, and concerned blue eyes…
“What do you want?” I say, before wiping my eyes with my hoof and frowning at her…
Her eyes enlarge, “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay! I mean, you were running through the street, and crying!”
I sniffle, and wipe my face again, “I WASN’T crying!”
She clears her throat, “Alright, have it your way! So tell me, why were you not crying ?”
<*****>
I sip the cocoa, as I sit on the red chair, and the pink foal sits on my burgundy couch, while staring at the cocoa dejectedly…
“Okay, lets start from the beginning! What’s your name?”
She seemed to be startled, and stares over at me, “Oh, I’m Diamond Tiara, and soon, my name will be known all over Equestria!” she boldly states, while raising her forehoof before her!
“Right!” I nod, “But first you need to cry and run through the streets!”
Her hoof lands on the couch, with a SLAP, as she stares at me fiercely, “I WASN’T crying!”
I sigh, “I’m Starlight Glimmer, and I work as a counselor at the School of Friendship!”
Her eyes enlarge as a scowl forms on her face, “Oh, great! You’re trying to shrink my head!”
“What?”
She sighs, and gets off the couch, “Look, it’s been fun Starlight, or whatever, but I really need to go back home to the lavish mansion I live in!”
“So what then? You’re just gonna completely ignore whatever it is that made you cry, so it can get worse?”
She stares at me while scowling! “I WASN’T crying!”
I giggle, “Come on, Diamond! We both know the truth!”
I see her finally relax her shoulders in defeat, before a look washes over her face, andshe timidly begins to trot back towards the couch, “Well, if you MUST KNOW, it’s um, it’s my mother… “
“Wait! If your mother’s a problem, why in Equestria would you be in such a hurry to go back home?”
She dejectedly sits back on the couch, and picks up her empathy cocoa, from the round wooden coffee table in front of her, before staring up at me with enormous blue eyes, “Well, the house isn’t so bad, because it’s big and she only sticks to one area… As long as I stay away from there, and get Jeeves to bring me my meals, I’m fine!” and takes another sip of cocoa…
I frown, “That hardly sounds healthy?”
She returns my frown, “It’s not?”
“Absolutely not, Diamond! You need to be around other ponies, and not by yourself all the time!”
Her eyes widen, “Oh, wow! So uh, I guess it’s good that I’m getting shipped off to a boarding school, then?”
“Boarding school?” I ask the pink foal, before taking another sip of my cocoa…
She smiles, “Yeah, it’s right next to The School of Friendship, too!”
I widen my eyes, “Oh, THAT place! I see it outside the window of my office!”
“Well, yeah! So I’ll be there and away from mother!” She happily states, before taking another sip…
“What about your father?”
She scoffs! “What about him? He’s ALWAYS away! He’s either in Fillydelphia, or Canterlot, or Manehatten, or something! Never home!”
I eye this filly closely… “It must be really lonely to be you?”
She frowns HARD, as if some great revelation just hit her! “Well, uh, NO!”
“It’s okay Diamond! We all have problems!”
She breathes deep, in and out, while I take another sip…
“How would you like to help me, after school, at The School of Friendship?”
She finally smiles at me, “I uh, I think I’d like that a lot, Starlight?”
Suddenly, the door swings open, and a blue pony, with a big pointy purple hat trots in, with a gray earth filly behind her, as she widens her purple eyes at me, “Starlight! You’ll never guess what happened to Chrysalis!”
I widen my own view at my crazy girlfriend, “How would I know? And who’s the filly?”
“SILVER SPOON!” I hear Diamond yell!
“Oh, good! You two know each other!” And stare at the silver foal, “Silver Spoon, was it?” and take another sip of my cocoa…
“Why did you run away?”
The gray filly hugs the pink one tightly, “I’m so sorry, Diamond Tiara! That unicorn was fierce , and I got scared!”
I begin to think this gray pony isn’t so tough, when she finally releases Diamond, and says, “But I was running STRAIGHT to your house, after the fact, and I wanted to make sure you were okay!” while eyeing her carefully, from behind blue temple-less fashion glasses…
The pink filly sniffles, and I finally notice the bruise on her chin, “Well, I’m fine! No thanks to you!”
I stare at these fillies, “Okay, slow down, everypony! We can talk this out!” before my eyes widen, and smile! “Would anypony like empathy cocoa?”
(To be continued… )
Chapter 3: Annoying Pink Filly
I ran through the Ponyville streets, and breathed heavily out of my mouth!
In and out, as the houses, and buildings passed on either side!
Why did Diamond try to do that? Doesn’t she know that would set off anypony?
And now, I’m running away! That pink filly looked pissed!
<*****>
My day was SO boring!
Especially since my marefriend wasn’t at work today…
I’ll need to go by The Castle of Friendship and check on her, on my way back to my place…
I sigh, I love that mare!
I stared out over the empty classroom, and smile when I think about how my students are progressing…
I furrow my brow and sigh, as I look at the dossier on the desk…
I’m still not sure what a dossier actually is, but there’s one here!
Maybe I should read it?
I glanced over the top, to see the words Sleeper Dance written on it, when suddenly, there’s a knock on my door!
<*****>
“Always!” I hear the magenta unicorn say, as she travels to the other side of the classroom to leave.
I don’t know what she was talking about, but I couldn’t help but frown as I trotted up to the front desk…
The blue mare behind it smiles, “Uh, yes little gray pony! Can the Great and Powerful Trixie, help you?”
I widen my eyes, “Oh, gosh, Miss Trixie! A pink bully was beating up my friend and um, I ran away!”
She frowns, “Pink bully?”
<*****>
I have no idea what this gray foal is going on about, and I still need to see my marefriend!
I mean um, my coworker ! Yes! The Great and Powerful Trixie needs to see her coworker!
She nods, “Um, y-yeah! I need to go back to her house soon, to check on her, b-but I left! I left when she was attacked !”
I stare at the foal… “You’re kinda a coward, aren’t you?”
She frowns, “YES! I’m such a wuss, and I’m sorry!”
I sigh, “Well, usually this is what my marefriend handles, but since she’s not here , I guess I’ll do the counselor thing ?” and smile widely at the foal, “Would you like some empathy cocoa ?”
<*****>
I stare up at the blue mare, “So, my best friend just got beat up, and so I’m drinking cocoa with you! Does that sound accurate, oh Great and Powerful Trixie ?”
She smiles, “Yup! Cheers!” and lifts her own cocoa in her hoof, and takes a sip…
I sigh, “I just wish she wasn’t so demanding!” and take my own sip, before widening my eyes as I realize it’s really hot!
She must have an iron mouth? I think to myself!
She sighs, “Yeah, I know what it’s like when certain ponies lean on you heavily! You feel like you’re the only pony she could EVER go to for anything, am I right?”
I widen my eyes, “Yeah, exactly! Like I’m not only her best friend, but her only friend , right?”
She smiles, “We’re not so different, little pony! Uh, what did you say your name was?” and takes another sip.
I finally crack a smile, “Uh, Silver Spoon! And you are The Great and Powerful Trixie !”
She giggles, “Just Trixie is fine!”
I snicker slightly, “Um, right!” before staring at her, and growing curious, “So who relies on you a lot?”
“It’s my marefriend Starlight! She always needs something, and I know how busy she is with her job as counselor, and so I can’t just say no, and it’s just an ugh situation , you know?” She frantically states as her right hoof circles the air.
By his point, my eyes are huge, “Oh, wow!”
Her hoof lowers to the desk, “Yeah, so believe me , I know what it’s like when ponies count on you a little too much… “ and she takes another sip of her cocoa, before staring at me with her lavender eyes, “You’ve barely touched your cocoa! Are you okay?”
I smile when I realize she does care about me! “Yeah, I’m fine!” and take another slow sip of cocoa… And widen my eyes, “It’s pretty hot!”
“Well, the milk used to make it was boiling!”
My smile lower slightly, “Well, that’s why I was taking my time!”
She smiles and giggles while flitting her hoof, “Okay, that makes sense!” and takes another sip of her cocoa, with her jaws of steel…
I grin and giggle again!
<*****>
This cocoa is really hot!
Well, I can’t wuss out now! I think to myself, as I take another sip of the ultra-hot cocoa.
The filly giggles, as I torture myself some more, and suddenly, there’s a knock on my door!
I lower the cocoa to the desk, and see my escape as I look at the blue door to my right and say, “Come in!”
It opens, and I see a zebra, with golden rings around her neck and enormous golden hoops in her ears, trot in to say, “I apologize for the interruption, oh great Trixie, but there’s something near my house in the Everfree I believe you should see!”
I frown, “What?”
The gray foal cringes, while Zecora continues, “You defeated Chrysalis earlier, but she has come back superior! And she is no longer evil, and has adopted a foal!”
“What?” I repeat myself.
She smiles, “Perhaps it is better that I show you, for you to truly understand with your eyes? That way, you’ll know that I say no lies!”
I turn to the gray foal, “Power slam your cocoa, filly! We’re heading out soon!”
The horrified filly looks at me, “Do we have to?”
I sigh, “Look filly, we’re short-hoofed today, but I can talk to you about your problems on the way? And some fresh air could only do you some good?” and turn back to the zebra, “Can we make one slight detour , on our way out though? I need to check on my marefriend!”
<*****>
I take a deep breath and feel the wind pass through my body as the blue unicorn opens the front door, and trots in to say, “Starlight! You’ll never guess what happened to Chrysalis!”
At least this delays the meeting between me and Diamond! I think to myself, while trotting behind the magical pony…
I hear another feminine voice say, “How would I know? And who’s the filly?” before staring up to see a magenta unicorn, with a violet wavy mane on her head, pointing at me with her hoof…
“SILVER SPOON!” I hear my best friend’s voice say, before I notice the pink earth filly, sitting in the chair in front of the new unicorn’s desk!
“Oh, good! You two know each other!” The new pony says, before turning towards me, “Silver Spoon, was it?” and she takes a sip of the cocoa on her desk…
“Why did you run away?” I hear the pink filly ask me…
I gulp, “I uh, I got scared! I’m so sorry, Diamond Tiara! That unicorn was fierce , and I got scared!” before cringing to the side, as I embraced her tightly in my hooves…
I finally let go of Diamond, “But I was running STRAIGHT to your house, after the fact, and I wanted to make sure you were okay!” while gaze at her attentively, from behind my glasses…
Diamond sniffles, and I suddenly see a red mark on her chin, “Well, I’m fine! No thanks to you!”
The magenta pony stares down at both of us, “Okay, slow down, everypony! We can talk this out!” before her eyes widen, and she smiles, “Would anypony like empathy cocoa?”
(To be continued… )
Chapter 4: Entering the Hive
I sigh as I stare at the two foals trotting in front of me down the forest trail, “So, let me get this straight! You get into a fight with another pink filly!”
“A unicorn!” The pink filly on the right says.
I nod, “Right, and so the gray filly over here skedaddles? That’s just cowardice!” I stare over to the gray foal on the left, “Silver Spoon, you need to be braver!”
“I-I know, but it’s just that well… “
We continue marching through the dirty forest trail, as the green canopy over us moves and we trot between sunlit and shaded regions on the rocky brow soil… “Well, what Silver Spoon?”
We walk past a low hanging branch, and Trixie makes her hat glow and float over it as she and we both lower our necks to the side to dodge it, as we pass, after the two foals walk underneath and the gray filly begins to say, “My whole life, my mother has told me what I can and can’t say , and how to act , and well, I never really you know, THOUGHT about my life, and how I was living… “
“What does that have to do with cowardice?” The blue unicorn trotting on my right asks.
The gray foal stops trotting, which is soon followed by everypony else, and as she stands there, she gazes at us seriously from behind her blue glasses, underneath so many shady branches, and exclaims, “I just feel so POWERLESS! I feel like my whole life isn’t under ANY of my control, and my parents just keep SHIFTING and manipulating me, to be what they want me to be! I could NEVER stand up for myself to them!” as her body jitters in sheer frustration.
Diamond frowns, “I have never related to you more than right at this moment, Silver Spoon… “
Silver Spoon frowns and gauges the pink foal from behind her glasses, “So forgive me if I often feel like I could never make a difference , or that my actions don’t matter , because the truth is, I can’t and they don’t… “ and she sighs while staring at the ground…
Diamond takes two paces towards the gray foal, and embraces her in her forehooves… “I’m sorry Silver Spoon… “
“What are you doing?” The confused looking gray filly asks, with her hooves locked into the earth…
“I’m hugging you! It’s a display of affection, because I love you Silver Spoon!”
“You do?”
“Yes, Silver Spoon! It doesn’t matter what either of us did, just what we do from here on out, okay?”
I comment, “Suddenly, I understand both of you!”
Diamond lets go to turn her body, and stare at me with curious blue eyes and a frown on her muzzle, “What do you mean?”
I smile, “Lets just say that me and Trixie here have both done a couple of things we’re not exactly proud of!”
Suddenly, I see the zebra with the gold neck rings ahead of us, trot back to yell, “It is just around the next bend! So any indiscretions, you should soon mend!”
I turn to face her further down the trail, “Yes, Zecora! Just a minute!” before turning towards the fillies, “Do you little ponies need a hug?”
Diamond shakes her head, “N-no! That’s fine! So uh, Chrysalis adopted a foal? Any idea who it might be?”
I sigh, “No idea! But we should probably get moving?”
She smiles at me as the silver filly seems relieved, “Yeah, let's go check out Chrysalis!”
“You’re in no hurry to get back to your life of nothing at your mansion, right?”
Her smile begins to lower, “You wouldn’t be wrong!”
The blue pony frowns at me from the right, “Nothing?”
I shake my head, “Uh, never mind Trixie! I’m anxious to see what Chrysalis has been up to! Lets go!”
<*****>
I sat there, after dinner and a good hugging session with mom, and smile in contentment, when suddenly, I see a magenta pony with violet mane’s head pop through the membrane of the front door! “Hello? Is anypony there?”
I scream! “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”
Her azure eyes enlarge, “Oh geez, filly! I didn’t mean to startle you!”
Adrenaline surges through my hooves and neck, as I lower it to fire a bluish-white magical blast at the new pony!
… I’ve never done anything like that before… Where did I learn it?
“HOLY CELESTIA!” I hear the magenta pony scream as I look up to see raw power dissipating off a clear blue magical shield she erected over her head!
I widen my eyes, “I am SO SORRY, strange pony!” How did THAT come out of me?
Her eyes stay locked on me from behind her forcefield, “I know you don’t know me, but that seems a little extreme, don’t you think?”
“Y-yeah! I’m sorry! I don’t know where that came from, or why I did it?” and giggle nervously to the side, before adjusting my gaze to her, “You’re not an enemy, are you?”
She frowns, “No, I don’t want to hurt you, filly… “and soon the rest of her body moves forward and materializes from behind the tissue layer… “I think you just might have more magical ability than you thought?”
I frown, “What?”
Suddenly, a white creature appears from the membrane to the far right, in the green bulbous cavernous walls of the hive, and says, “What happened Binky? I heard a blast!”
I stare at the creature, “Yeah, nothing mom! This magenta pony came out of nowhere and I tried to kill her!”
The magenta pony turns her gaze right towards me, with her body arranged towards my mother, “Well, we don’t know if it would kill me?”
I gaze at her, “It wouldn’t feel good!”
Mom frowns, “Starlight Glimmer! It’s uh, it’s been two years… “
The other unicorn turns to Chrysalis, “Yes, and I guess your the new Chrysalis ?” and frowns nervously…
Suddenly, I see a blue unicorn head, with a white mane and big purple pointy hat move her face through the membrane to say, “Starlight! Are you still in here? Is it safe?”
I guess she didn’t hear the blast?
Starlight stares at her, “Yeah Trixie! It’s cool! This filly is a bad-ass, but she’s on our side now! Come on in!”
… Wait, bad-ass?
<*****>
I kept thinking about that pink filly I tried to harass earlier…
Well, I probably won’t see her for a long time? I thankfully think to myself, as I see the blue unicorn march into the membrane wall of the hive, to travel inside and check on her marefriend…
Silver Spoon on my right says, “So, we’re cool Diamond?”
I turn to her, “Do I need to hug you again?”
Her eyes widen to me, “What?”
“Cause I’ll do it! I’m crazy!” And I smile at her insanely!
She smiles and giggles! “Stop it, Diamond!”
I pounce on her, to embrace her in my hooves! “Gotcha!”
She squeals! “EEEEEEEE! Knock it off, Diamond!”
“I love you, Silver Spoon! You stupid idiot!”
She slowly returns the affection with her own hooves, while softly snickering, “You freaking goofball! What’s gotten into you?”
“I don’t know!” I exclaim, while continuing to giggle and jovially hold onto her.
She holds me back with more firmness, “It’s like all that stifling and holding back from your life, just made you pop , right?”
I release her, to stare at her from my hooves, “Uh, maybe? What makes you say that, Silver Spoon?”
She smiles and giggles! “Because I popped too, Diamond!” and places her right forehoof against my snout to say, “BOOP!”
I keep grinning at the silver foal, and wiggle my nose, “Are we gonna be stupid together, forever now?”
Her eyes widen behind her glasses, “I dunno? Probably” and places her forehoof against my nose again! “BOOP!”
I squint and keep smiling at her, “Oh, that’s it!” and press my own forehoof against her nose! “BOOP!”
Suddenly, I notice the head of a blue unicorn with a big pointy purple hat appear from the membrane! “Hey you two! It’s safe! We met Chrysalis and we’re all talking now!”
Silver Spoon turns her neck to me, “So uh, wanna see what this new hive looks like Diamond?”
“Sure thing, Silver Spoon! But I still owe you a boop, now!”
“We’re keeping score now?”
“No!” I say, before pressing my hoof to her nose, “BOOP!”
We both chuckle, and she goes into the membrane, and I soon follow…
<*****>
I step inside to see Starlight hugging a bluish-green spiny creature, with many horns on her head, and I soon notice the pink foal to the right of this…
“YOU!” She says, while keeping her green eyes fixed on me!
I recognize it as the foal who beat me up earlier, “I uh, what? You live here, too?”
“Chrysalis is my new mother !”
I blink and frown, “New mother ? That was fast!”
She lowers her head, and furrows her brow, while her hooves grow tense and ready to pounce, “I think you should leave… “
Starlight lets the creature go to stare at us, “Now hold on! They taught me about this in counseling class, and we can move onto forgiveness and acceptance , now!”
I stare at her, while the other pink foal asks, “What?”
The magenta unicorn smiles, “We can all get along, here!”
“I think I’d rather just beat her up again?”
“BINKY!” The new creature authoritatively shouts! “You will assimilate and get along with other fillies , is that understood? Your actions will reflect this hive in Equestria!”
Binky turns back to me, and states, “My name is Binky Hooves! Who are you?”
My eyes stay wide, “I-I’m Diamond! Diamond Tiara!”
(To be continued… )
Chapter 5: Aunt Starlight
I wonder if she’s gonna strangle me? I think to myself, as the other pink filly with her messy mane embraces me in her forehooves…
Wait, are we gonna be friends now?
I feel her warm hooves going over my body, and I blink in confusion, while keeping my hooves firmly planted on the ground…
I guess I should return the hug?
“Are you alright, Diamond?” I hear the gray pony at my side ask.
My eyes widen, “I’m fine, Silver Spoon! Everything is fine! Yes, we’re all fine! Of course!”
Binky tightens her embrace of me!
I uh, what?
“It’s okay, Diamond… You’re not a bad pony… You just don’t understand… “
“What?”
She releases me and stares at my eyes from a foot away, “I’m saying, it’s okay Diamond!”
“What are you talking about? I tried to pick on you, and you uh, well, you beat me up!”
<*****>
I stare into the blue eyes of the confused pink foal, “Well, right! But since I apparently can’t beat you up again, I uh, I guess that means we gotta be friends?”
She frowns, “As if! We could always just not talk to each other , you know?”
I hear mom from behind me cause me to cringe, “Binky! You will make friends with these fillies and you will have a wholesome relationship , is that clear?”
I open my eyes again to see the pink filly staring at me with enormous blue eyes, and my own gaz enlarges, “No uh, I’m pretty I gotta be your friend now?”
We both hear the gray filly on the side say, “Well, I’ll just be a third wheel , so you two get along now, and be friends!” before I notice Silver Spoon trotting away in my periphery…
I smirk at the other foal, “Yup! Total coward!”
The other pink filly soon smiles and snickers, “Right?”
This gets me grin widely.
“Uh, hey look! You uh, you lost your mom, right?”
I squint at the other filly, “Yes?”
Her eyes widen shyly as a frown forms on her muzzle, “You know, my mother Spoiled Rich is awful!”
I frown, unsure of what she’s getting at? “So?”
She sighs, “So uh, I guess since I’m always alone at the mansion, and since well, since your mom is gone , I guess that means we aren’t really so different ?”
I widen my eyes at this strange statement! “We are NOTHING alike, Diamond Tiara!”
“How would you know?”
This statement takes me aback, and I give a wide-eyed start, “Wait, what?”
She nods, “Well, what I mean is, have we ever really met before?”
“Well, there was that time I beat you up?”
She squints annoyed, “That’s not what I meant!”
Suddenly, mom speaks to all three of us, “You three will go out for milkshakes in Ponyville now! Starlight Glimmer will pay for you!”
The magenta unicorn widens her eyes at all of us, “What? Why do I have to pay for it?”
<*****>
I stare at my former nemesis and smile, “Because this is an important part of my reformation , and you do wish for me to become reformed, yes?”
The blue pony on her left looks at her, “That is a good point, Starlight! Besides, you make WAY more than anypony here, and could easily afford it!”
She squints her eyes at us fillies, “That’s not the point!”
Diamond stares up at her wide-eyed, with a pathetic expression, “Oh, please Miss Starlight? I’m sure Binky and me deserve a milkshake, right?” and smiles widely.
I also notice the silver filly enlarging her own eyes behind her temple-less spectacles, “And me too, yes?”
Starlight frowns in defeat, and finally rolls her eyes, “FINE! I’ll take ALL of you out for milkshakes!”
“And your marefriend too, right?”
Starlight turns left towards Trixie and grimaces, “Fine! You too!”
Trixie turns to us foals excitedly, “Hear that fillies? We’re all getting milkshakes and Starlight is REALLY NICE!”
Silver Spoon looks at Starlight, “Yay! I love Aunt Starlight!”
Diamond stares at her and chimes in, “Yeah, Aunt Starlight is the best!”
Starlight Glimmer then gives a wide-eyed frown, “Wait, Aunt Starlight ? What?”
I see my smart foal stare up her, “How would I know Miss Glimmer? Uh, I like chocolate!” and smile nervously at her…
Starlight enlarges her eyes all the way as her shoulders fall in defeat, “FINE! I guess your Aunt Starlight is gonna buy you all milkshakes!”
“And her marefriend too!”
Starlight turns left towards Trixie, “You got money!”
She frowns pitiably, “Not as much as you!”
Starlight sighs, “Fine!” before turning to address everypony, “I guess in the interest of preserving Equestria and reforming Chrysalis , I can buy everypony milkshakes!”
I turn to my foal, “You DID give the larvae their love for the morning, didn’t you Binky?”
Her eyes widen as she stares up at me, “Well um, I kinda forgot!”
I gaze at the other two foals, “That’s actually alright Binky! I have something special in mind… “ before raising my gaze, “Tell me, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon! Do you two mind being slimy?”
Diamond’s eyes widen, “Wait, what? EW! GROSS! NO WAY!” before she cringes with her tongue out her snout.
The gray foal next to her asks, “Why? What did you have in mind?”
<*****>
“Okay! You can come on in now!” I hear the pink unicorn yell from the other room…
I blink and stare at the blue membrane that served as a door, before gulping and trotting forward to move through…
And when I make it to the other side, I saw it… A crazy green-eyed pink unicorn foal, with a psychotic grin on her face, as several white worm-like larvae crawled around on her body and trailing slime all over her! Her disheveled purple mane vibrated as she stared insanely at me, “These are my sibling!”
“Gross! What are you doing, Binky?”
She giggles, “I’m feeding the kids by giving them love! Come on Silver Spoon! It’s fun!”
My eyes stay wide on her, “That is the grossest thing ever, Binky!”
“How would you know?”
The edges of my mouth travel downward, “What do you mean?”
She practically jitter while squealing, “Giving love to the larvae is fun! I can’t explain it, but just interacting with them with my hooves, and petting them, and guiding them to water or soft places to rest just makes me feel good!”
“But they’re gross!”
“They’re my brothers and sisters, since uh, you know, I live in the hive ! Now come on Silver Spoon! Help me love the kids!”
I stare over to my left towards the far wall, with it’s green amorphis blobs on the side, and then to my right, and then to my right to stare at the blue membrane door, before finally back at her, “Well uh, we can clean up when we get done, right?”
“Sure! I’ll show you! There’s a river outback! Now come on Silver Spoon! Get slimy with me !”
I grimace as I slowly begin to pace forward, “I can’t believe I’m doing this… “
I hear the deranged unicorn giggle as I pace forwards towards slimy death…
<*****>
I stood near the blue unicorn magician, with her pointy purple hat, decorated with those ridiculous gold stars, and turned my eyes to her, as she stared up at me with big purple eyes and gulped, “So uh, you’re the new Chrysalis , right?” and smiles nervously, “How’s that um, you know, working out for you?” before affixing her eyes solidly on me in apprehension.
I smile down at the blue pony, “It’s okay, Trixie! I mean you no harm!”
Her eyes widen and begin to quiver, “I uh, that’s okay! Just um, p-please stay over there for now, okay?”
I frown, “You don’t seem very friendly?”
She starts, “W-well um, th-that’s okay! I’ll uh, you know, um… “ and gulps, “b-be your friend um, if you uh, really want me to? Yes!” and smiles with a quivering muzzle…
I suddenly realized that this pony is terrified of me! If I am to assimilate into their society, this simply will not do! I stare at her, “Would you like a hug, Trixie?” and smile at her…
<*****>
I stared at the bluish-white creature with her various horns on her head, and strange lavender eyes that seemed to gaze into my soul, as she grinned psychotically at me, while my own veins surged with panic, “Uh, NO! No uh, um, p-please don’t hug me!”
She frowns, “Well, perhaps we can work up to that , then? How do you fair, sweet guest ? Are you okay?”
I remember what my girlfriend told me about opening up and being honest , when I say to her, “If you REALLY want honesty, um, I’m terrified!”
“Why?”
“W-well, it’s you! You were this evil changeling queen earlier, and now, I see you’re um, you’re different now, but you sound the same and it’s just, well, it gets to me, okay?”
She smiles as her central horn glows with a bluish-white glow, and I soon realize that I’m also glowing and unable to speak!
“Now, you needn’t worry sweet Trixie! I only intend to hug you, okay?”
I stare at the creature with my eyes as wide as I can make them inside this forcefield, and whimper affirmatively…
She smiles as she steps closer to me, “Good! Now, I’m about to hug you… “
I close my eyes in fear, as she grows on her hind legs, and brings her forehooves over me, and soon, I feel it…
Pure love surging through me, and I suddenly feel pure affection coming into me…
She used to take as much love as she could get, but now this…
This is different… This is not the same…
Maybe she has changed?
<*****>
I stare at the pink filly as she smiles up at me, with her strawberry cream milkshake with whipped cream and actual strawberries on the top, “Thanks Aunt Starlight! I love you!”
I stare at her, “Is this how you usually get your mother to do what you want?”
Her eyes blink frantically, and she starts, “Um, w-well, uh, yeah! Kinda!”
I smile, “I think I can start to figure you out, Diamond!”
“So what?” She frowns in agitation.
I giggle, “I’m saying, I can help you, Diamond!”
Her eyes widen, “How?”
I sigh, “Well, you know how you’re helping me after school now, and how your mom doesn’t know the difference?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, what do you say I become your friend and I’ll listen to you talk and hear you , okay?”
“What are you talking about, you crazy purple unicorn?”
I think I should word this another way? “I mean, you won’t be alone anymore, Diamond! Doesn’t that sound nice?”
“Well, there’s Binky?”
“I’m not a coward!” I hear a feminine voice squeal from a distance.
I stare to gaze back down the grassy hillside, as I note a blue unicorn with a pointy purple hat, a small pink unicorn with wiry purple mane, and a smaller gray foal approaching from a distance…
“I’m just saying, you could be braver, Silver Spoon! I’m not even involved and I think you’re a wuss!” My girlfriend says to Silver Spoon.
“You’re a wuss!” The gray foal retorts and I note the pink foal on the left silently snickering.
“I’m a teacher at the School of Friendship!”
“You’re also a wuss!”
I cringe at these three outrageous ponies, as they squabble on their way up the hillside so Aunt Starlight can buy them all milkshakes…
How does Trixie keep getting me into these things?
(To be continued… )
I sigh and repeat what the magenta unicorn just told me, “I’m sorry I beat you up! But the truth is, you really shouldn’t have tried to bully me… “
The pink earth foal in front of me at the table, blinks, and nods, before robotically repeating, “I acknowledge now that I should not have bullied you, and I now see the error of my ways! Do you accept my apology?”
“Good! Good!” We both hear the magenta unicorn on the other side of the table say, while the blue unicorn with the hat slurps her strawberry milkshake…
I finally break my silence, “Look, Starlight Glimmer, since that’s your name apparently, if this pink filly and me are going to be friends, I really think you need to take a more natural approach and not be breathing down our ears the whole time, telling us what to say!”
The pink earth foal adds towards Starlight, “Yeah, I think it would probably be better if we got to know one another personally, without you here. Uh, maybe we could check out that Ponese flick at the theater? I saw an add for it on the way up here, and I think that would be a good way to get to know each other?”
Starlight frowns, “I dunno?” before staring over at Binky beside me, “How do you feel about Ponese movies?”
I stare at her wide-eyed and honestly reply, “I’m actually not even sure where that country is?”
Diamond smiles at me, “So exposing you to other cultures would probably be good, right?”
I gaze at Diamond, equally enormously, “I don’t know? Maybe?”
The unicorn says, “Great! And you two could go to the sleeper dance tomorrow, as friends?”
I stare at Starlight, “I don’t even like to dance!”
Diamond says to Starlight, “I think I’d rather remove my brain from my skull through my nose with a little spoon?”
Starlight frowns at Diamond, “That was oddly specific?”
She smiles, “Well, other cultures, right?”
Starlight smiles, “Right! So you two go to the other end of the cafe and talk to one another, and I’ll just wait for my marefriend, here!”
<*****>
I hold my chocolate shake up with my magic, and begin to trot towards the other end of the cafe, figuring Diamond would follow me…
“Hey, let’s sit over here!” Diamond says at a table two tables towards the back, before launching her shake off her snout onto the table, and then using her teeth to move the chair back…
Earth ponies! I think to myself as I use my magic to set my shake down next to Diamond…
I use my magic to bring the chair back, before parking my flanks on the seat, to stare at the pink foal, “You wanted to be alone with me, so our friendship could grow organically , right?”
“I’ll give you two hundred bits, and you agree to never see me again, deal?”
I frown, “Diamond, just what are you asking me?”
She sighs, “I’m asking you to just forget this whole friendship thing , I pay you off, and we just silently ignore each other for the rest of her lives!”
This shocks me a bit! “Diamond, I really do want to be your friend!”
She reciprocates, “What?”
I blink, “I meant what I said! I wanna be your friend, so you’re not alone all the time! Doesn’t that sound better?”
She eyes me carefully, “It’s like you’re a good pony , or something?”
I blink, “Um, I guess?” and finally decide to slurp some of my yummy chocolate shake!
If nothing else, I’m gonna get that from this meeting!
She nods, “Alright, Binky! We can try to be friends, or whatever!” and slurps a bit more of her strawberry shake..
I narrow my eyes in satisfaction at the yummy flavor of chocolate on my palette as the goodness flowed down my throat…
She takes one of the final slurps of her shake before saying, “Well, finish your shake Binky! We got a weird foreign movie to check out!”
I chuckle and put the shake down, to stare at her, “You’re a weird foreign movie!”
“Jerk!” She giggles and slurps her pink shake, with her hoof.
“Butt-head!” I retort, before magically holding my shake to my face to slurp some more.
“Hey, how are you two doing now? Are we good and friendly , now?” Starlight chimes in from beside the table.
I level my shake to my face and stare at her, “Shut up, Aunt Starlight! You’re ruining the moment!”
Diamond turns towards Starlight, and adds, “Idiot!”
“Jerk!” I say to Starlight.
At that point, Starlight could only cringe, and giggle maniacally to herself, before asking, “What is wrong with you fillies?”
I say, “Well, you’re the counselor! You tell me?” and take the another slurp from my shake…
<******>
Diamond and I trot side-by-side out of the movie theater, with nopony else…
I turn my head left towards her and say, “Foreign movies are weird!”
She looks at me and frowns, “Well, at least we didn’t see any of that normal mainstream garbage!”
I gaze at her carefully, “I mean, it’s not like we all haven’t seen the same romantic comedies a thousand times!”
“Sleepless in Ponyville!”
“Twelve things I Hate About You!”
“Bridget Hoove’s Diary!”
Her eyes widen, “But this way, you not only don’t understand anything without subtitles, but they have senses of humor you don’t get!”
“Yes, foreign romantic comedies are so much better, with their strange premises, and bizarre wording!”
She snickers, “I never thought you’d be so much fun, Binky!”
I nod, “Right?”
“So uh, what do you wanna do now, Binky?”
I sigh, “I really should be getting back to the hive now! Mom probably already got some dinner for me, by now? I am their primary source of love for the moment!”
She frowns, “What?”
I nod and take a pace towards her to hug her, “I’ll see you later, Diamond Tiara!”
She tentatively returns the hug, “O-okay! Bye for now, Binky!”
<*****>
"Ugh...wha...?"
I groan groggily as I slowly open my bleary eyes, still half-asleep and disoriented. The bright light filtering through the window made me wince a bit as I rubbed my eyes and tried to get my bearings.
I flip over the blanket from my body and blink as I fully register my surroundings, but then it hit me… I was in my hive…
And there, beside me on the bed, covered by the blanket I just flipped over, was a familiar pink pony…
Uh, what is she doing here? She wasn’t here when I went to sleep!
Well uh, should I wake her? She looks so peaceful there…
I can’t help but giggle a bit as Diamond snoozes on her tummy, and a little bit of drool comes out of her mouth…
Oh, gross! That’s gonna get on my bed!
“Diamond! Wake up!” I say.
Her eyes open suddenly, “Wait, wha? Where am I?” before staring up at me and smiling, “Oh, hey Binky! What’s going on?”
“Why are you in the hive?”
Diamond chuckles and sits up, wiping away a bit of drool from her lips. "Well, after the movie, I was still feeling kind of restless, and I didn't really want to go home just yet. I mean, who would I talk to? What would I do? So I thought I would come by and see if you wanted to hang out a bit longer… You were asleep when I arrived, so I hopped into bed, figuring I’d catch a few z’s myself!"
I raise an eyebrow, still a bit perplexed. "But how did you get into the hive? I locked the hive gate before I went to bed."
“Let’s just say you learn your way around a lock when there’s things around you, you’re not supposed to get into!” she nods, “Liquor! Cigars! Porn!”
“That still doesn’t mean I gave you permission to sleep in my bed!”
She frowns at me with big eyes, “Well, we’re friends, right?”
I squint at her while considering this… I finally sigh, “Fine! You win this round! I guess you can sleep in my bed sometimes? You’re really brave to head into the Everfree Forest, so late?”
“Well, I’ve been to Zecora’s shack a few times, once I met the Crusaders, and well, you’re really not THAT far off!”
I frown at the super filly, “Uh, alright then! Come on! Chrysalis made coffee!”
“Aren’t we kinda young for that?”
I shake my head, “I don’t know? Maybe? You want coffee, or not?”
<*****>
Well, I’ve seen dad drink this stuff before? I think to myself, as I use my forehooves to pour a cup of coffee into the white mug…
Binky smiles, “Yeah, since I’m a pony, and I’m living in the hive, I got cups, and plates, and all the things I would normally have in a pony home! Mom was sure of that!”
I take a spoon, and add two sugars, from the beige sugar bowl next to it, on the strange bluish-black counter with strange globials on the walls of this bizarre insectoid room.
This is how my dad usually makes it! Well, that and bourbon… I think to myself, while using my hoof to stir the black coffee…
Suddenly, I hear the same vocoder voice from earlier, say, “Diamond Tiara! Just what are you doing in my hive at this hour of the morning?”
Binky grins at her mother, “She followed me home last night! Can I keep her?” before taking a slow, tentative sip of her coffee…
Chrysalis narrows her eyes at her foal, while I smile, “I just came in at night, and wanted to see Binky! I mean, “ and sigh, “I have so many toys and so many fun things, but it just doesn’t seem to matter anymore? I uh, I wanted to see Binky… “
“Binky is important to you?”
I nod, “Oh, yes Queen Chrysalis! Binky means a lot to me!”
“Hey, remember when I beat you up?” The small pink unicorn on the left says to me before taking a sip of her coffee and eyeing me carefully.
She’s obviously testing me! I stare at her, “Look, we’re past that now, okay? You said you wanted to be my friend, and I accept… “
“Did we just become best friends?”
I frown, “Well, Silver Spoon still exists!”
“Yeah, but when was the last time you saw her?”
My eyes widen, “Just yesterday!”
“Yeah, but you were with me too, right?”
I nod, “Well, right!”
“And who’s house did you break into last night, when you had nowhere to go? Me, or Silver Spoon?”
I frown when I begin to realize the implications of her words… “Just what are you trying to say, Binky?”
“I’m saying you’re my friend now, whether you realize it or not!”
I blink at her, “Does this mean we’re about to hug?”
She nods, and positions her body towards me, “I think so?”
I take three paces towards her and embrace her in my forehooves… “I’m sorry Binky… I guess I’m a bit stubborn?”
She holds me back, “Obvious Foal strikes again!”
“Shut up! Dummy… “
“Idiot jerk… “
“Stupid moron… “
“Hose-brain!”
(To be continued… )
Author's Note
Leave it to me, the audiophile to come up with an obscure music reference nobody else will get...