It's been a long long day. From the pre-dawn twilight to the peaking of the Moon in the night's sky, I've been busy. Whether it be entitled clients, unreliable contractors, or just more god-forsaken paperwork, there's always something else that needs to be taken care of. I'd always thought about running my own architecture firm, and to a younger me, the kid that just loved to build, first with legos and Lincoln logs. Then with actual wood and metal, and then as teenager who discovered the joy of expressing his creativity with math and geometry, the idea of being the Boss, the one who called all the shots and sat behind the big desk in a spacious office, with a smoking hot secretary and an army of underlings to do all the work, was an unbelievably attractive one.
Too bad real life's not a fantasy. The reality of owning my own business, especially starting from scratch, is much less glamorous. It was sixteen, seventeen, hell, eighteen-hour days, with no room for a social life. Everything I draft and design has to match someone else's ideas and wants. I'm scratching and scraping every penny I can while constantly teetering on the edge of bankruptcy as I try to balance a budget with profit margins so thin they could cut the atom.
'And it's all for what?' I wonder to myself as I trudge through the door of my crappy one-room apartment. To be able to come home to a shitty empty apartment with a leaky sink? I collapse onto the old sofa and force the murky thoughts out of my head.
I don't want to go down that spiral again, and besides, I already know the answer.
I suffer and strive now, for success later.
I snort the sound a sharp contrast to the dead silence of my apartment.
"Possibility. For the possibility of success," I correct my thoughts out loud, before huffing humorlessly, and allowing my head to lull against the back of the couch.
I just so happen to end up staring out my apartment's small window, gazing out into the dark night sky, all the stars hidden by the ambient light of the city around me, with only the Moon illuminating the endless void.
A memory comes to me, of gazing up at the Moon and stars from my Grandfather's farm, through his old beat-up telescope, and I smile, more a small quirking of the lips than any true expression, but a pleasant feeling fills me nonetheless. I'd always been a more down to earth, kind of guy, as a kid, I was more interested in playing in the dirt than anything else, but my Grandpa was a big fan of looking up into the endless cosmos, so of course when we'd look up at the sky together, I'd focus on the closest ball of dirt up there.
Grandpa's dead now though, buried years ago, and I'm the only one looking up at the Moon now.
The intrusive thought arrives with the subtly of a sledgehammer and a hollow feeling settles in my chest, my lips reversing direction, quirking down. I sit up and let out a breath, the bout of nostalgia firmly dispelled, before I stand up and start shrugging off my clothes, choosing to get ready for bed.
Less than twenty minutes later I lay down on my bed and it doesn't take long for my exhaustion to drag me into unconsciousness.
I sleep restlessly, and in less than 6 hours later, my blaring alarm draws me back to reality from the grip of sleep. For a few moments, I consider turning it off, rolling over, and going back to sleep, but in the end, as I do every day, I reject the temptation and groggily sit up. Then my day continues as normal. I finish getting up, get ready, and leave my apartment before the sun comes up.
As I walk to my truck, I glance up at the pre-dawn sky, and a small nonsensical vexation tugs at me as I catch sight of a fading moon's glow.
I pause, momentarily questioning the behavior before I shake my head, clearing the strange thoughts, moving on, getting in my truck, and heading to work.
Three intersections later, as I'm making a right turn, a car comes speeding around a blind corner, and in one moment I look up and see the front bumper of an SUV, then in the next, nothing.
I awake with a start, my heart pounding in my ears and my breath ragged. I snap my head down, looking at my body, and draw my arms in to pat myself down. To my confusion, I find myself wholly uninjured. I was just in a car crash, I remember seeing headlights, not five fucking feet away from me, and closing.
I spend another moment just staring at myself before I accept that I'm not a mangled lump of flesh and sinew and look up.
I'm expecting to see a crash site or maybe the back of an ambulance, or something.
Instead, I see... nothing.
An emptiness surrounds me that I struggle to find the words to describe.
It's just... not. It's nothing. Not light, not dark, not anything. Nothing.
I look down and for the first time notice that I'm sitting on what appears to be giant tree roots.
I blink in befuddlement before I turn my gaze and follow the roots, only to find that they connect to an old, heavily gnarled tree. It stands several stories tall and the circumference of its trunk at the base is more than the length of a car, and though the roots and trunk seem alright, its canopy is spotty and looks almost withered. Dead and rotting branches hanging off at odd angles and the scant amounts of leaves on the still-living branches look pale and ready to fall. The only green to be found on it is in the creeping vines climbing its sides and the large patches of moss covering whole sections of the massive tree.
I look down again, searching for dirt or rock or something holding up the tree I'm sitting on, and, at least from where I'm sitting I don't see anything, just more nothing.
Then it dawns on me, "Ah. I'm either dead, dying, or in a coma, and this is the afterlife or some hallucination conjured by my brain," I say out loud, to no one but myself.
"Partially Correct," A voice replies from... somewhere.
I look left, and then I look right.
I look up.
No one. I narrow my eyes.
I wait another moment for the voice to continue, to try and locate where it's coming from but it remains silent. After another moment of silence, I take the opportunity to stand up, though I am extra careful to avoid slipping. Hallucination or afterlife or whatever the hell this experience is, I don't think I want to fall into the nothingness around me.
The voice rumbles to life again, this time with a deep rolling chuckle, sounding more like the distance booming of thunder than an expression of mirth, and then nothing becomes something.
The void... recedes as best I can describe it, leaving in its place the natural hewn stone of a vast cave. Stalagmites and stalactites sprout from the ground and the roof at the same time as a dazzling array of gleaming gemstones grow in mesmerizing patterns along the walls, interspaced with brightly colored seams of what I assume to be ore, creating a beautiful tapestry of natural make and lighting the cave with a cozy glow.
A warm and earthy-scented breeze sweeps the area, as I glare suspiciously at it all.
Then the tree begins to creak and groan, swaying as if standing in a gale wind, and I quickly step off its roots, cautiously backing away.
The massive trunk ripples, almost like the surface of a disrupted lake, and a... dryad(?) steps out. The thing is humanoid in appearance, female too if the figure is correct, but where a woman would be flesh and bone, the creature before me is shaped out of wood and dirt, with patches of marbled stone interlaced across its 'skin'. A layer of moss covers its body in a mimicry of clothing and thin vines hang from its head, framing its form like long soft hair. Its face is a mask of smooth bark with the angles and contours of an attractive woman's, though it lacks a nose and lips, and its eyes are a pair of black and sappy yellow orbs. Lastly, sprouting from the top of its head, looking like the swept-back crown of a forest queen, is a ring of antlers and darkened branches. It is tall too, Even discounting its 'crown', the figure stands a good half-foot taller than my 6-foot self.
The creature takes several steps away from the tree, its movements almost regale and graceful, before it halts a short distance in front of me. Its eyes bore into me and I met its gaze, straightening up and standing tall.
Strangely my heart does not beat with fright or suspense, as I would think it should.
Seconds pass and silence reigns, neither of us saying a word, before eventually the thing seems to find whatever it's looking for and it shifts. Its shoulders sag slightly, and the rest of its posture relaxes.
"You have some grit at the very least. That is good." The creature speaks, and its voice matches the one that spoke before, sounding like the rumbling of grinding stone. It turns back toward the tree from which it came and takes measured steps toward a sprouting throne, seeming to be growing from the tree and the rock of the cave floor. By the time the creature returns to the tree the throne has fully matured, and it seats itself.
The hazy glow of its eyes once more finds mine and the creature speaks again, "To clarify, with regards to your earlier statement, you are dead, but this is no afterlife. The place where we currently exist is a form of limbo."
I raise an eyebrow and snort. "Yeah, cause limbo has big trees and caves that appear from nothing and Dyrads or Ent-women or whatever you are," I motion toward the creature lackadaisically as I shake my head, letting out a half-chuckle, "Man whatever drugs the doctors or medics put me on are something else, if this is the result. Or at least I hope it's drugs, 'cause if you're god, then I'm sorry to say I've never read your book."
The creature's head tilts, as if to consider something, before it speaks again, "I suppose you could consider my existence one of godhood, but I do not claim such a title."
I do not know why, but something about the way the creature says the words, stirs something inside me, and a bout of doubt flashes through me.
Is this really just a dream?
"Okay," I say as I raise a hand to stroke the side of my face, running my fingers through the hairs of my beard, as I only now begin to give the possibility of this not being a hallucination some actual consideration.
...it's probably best to act like the thing's words are true. If they're true then I've already put my foot in my mouth, but some respect might help me avoid being turned into a tree or banished to hell or something like that, and worst comes to worst this is all a hallucination anyway.
I continue, "Truthfully, I'm not sure I believe you, but considering the circumstances I'm going to act like I believe you. Regardless, you've got a reason for all this," I motion to the cave around us, "I assume?"
The creature's mouth twists into something resembling an amused smile before it speaks, "That you do not believe me is not surprising. When I pulled your soul here, I glimpsed your world and sufficed to say it was not one rife with the non-material, but explaining the purpose I have for you will be easier if you understand."
Before I can voice my question of 'Understand what?', the creature's arm flickers, snapping out in a blurring movement, and something slams into my chest before I can even finish registering the movement of its arm.
Agony consumes me and I collapse to the ground. Through the pain I get a vague sense of swelling, and shortly after I lose any higher thinking as my thoughts bleed into green before swirling into browns and then back.
The next thing I know I'm blinking away the bright spots in my vision, while nearly curled into the fetal position. My entire body aches like hell, but I can't tell from where. It feels like it's coming from all over yet when I run my hands over myself my nerves tell me nothing is wrong. Not in my arms, nor my legs, torso, or head, and yet everything hurts.
Another torrent of pain washes over me and I squeeze shut my eyes, just trying to blot out all feeling that I begin to get an inkling of the source. With my eyes closed another of my senses comes into greater clarity, and as I feel where my body is, where my limbs are, I realize that my sense of where my flesh is feels wrong.
Another wave of torment washes over me, lesser than the first, and my thoughts are awash with colors again, but now they come with more definition, with a deeper meaning. Browns bleeding out greens; life fuelled by the earth. Greens fading back to browns; life returning to the soil. There is another color now, too, Grey flecked with a menagerie of different shades hidden within the brown. The stone below the dirt, the foundation of everything with a hidden bounty for those clever or strong enough to get to it.
Then my senses return, overtaking me once again, but the pain is lessened, somewhat. I keep my eyes shut though, taking the moments of lucidity to focus on my sense of kinesthesia once more. The off-feeling is greater now and as I focus on it, I stumble onto a seam, a metaphorical hitch, in the sense that I latch onto and claw at within my mind.
Yet, before I can fully grasp it, another flood of anguish overcomes me, though now it is not so much painful but more a pins and needles sensation. The colors return too, and again, in greater detail. The Green flowing from the brown comes in more shades, each bleeding from one another; life fed from the earth feeding other life. The grey and its speckling now seeping from warming reds and oranges, swirling from a great sphere of blinding power; the layers of stone, cooled from the molten sea around the core of the planet.
The seam pops, the boundary of my senses peels away, and understanding floods me. Life comes from ~~the Earth~~ Equus, from its blinding core of power-magic. The light grows in intensity drowning out all else and then the agony from before returns, only magnitudes worse. My mouth opens and I'm sure I scream but I can hear nothing for all my mind is consumed in a roaring hurricane of torture as I'm consumed by the surging power of a world-spirit flowing into me and filling me, bloating my flesh with etheric energies and stretching the boundaries of my body.
My mind blanks.
Then I am lying on the cold stone of the cave, body aching, in the physical fleshly way, and my mouth and neck covered in what can only be spittle. I crane my head up and become enraptured by what I see. Everything around me, from the cozy glow of the gemstones to the swirling shades of ore painted on the walls, everything has become so much more; Colors more vibrant, contours sharper, and shadows longer.
I continue to turn my head about the room, and when my head turns to the tree and the creature, Equus a part of me recognizes, I have to jerk it away, slamming my eyes shut, except, that does nothing to block out the blinding light, as my eyes are already shut. I realize I never opened them, and yet the personification of a planet burns as luminous as the sun in my sight.
I raise my hands to block out the blinding glare, and though it works to a degree, it is not wholly successful as I realize that my own body glows with a similar light of the World-spirit, if many magnitudes lesser.
As I stare at my glowing hands, there is a shift, in something I can only grasp the barest hints at, and my body begins to dim. At the same time, my ability to see through my eyelids begins to fade, the additional depth of perception fading until darkness consumes my vision once more.
It is at this point that I finally open my eyes.
The cave appears as it had been before whatever the hell I'd just gone through, though something feels different about looking at the stone around me compared to just a moment ago. My eyes feel sharper yes, but my vision still lacks something. What exactly, I'm not sure.
Looking back at Equus, I am not blinded as I was moments ago, and I know it is because of the difference in my sight. The World-Spirit, and I mean that as in the spirit of an entire planet (she was telling the truth earlier), her eyes, glowing with a steadfastly dimming amber light, are locked onto my form and I finally take note that a thick, tendril-like, vine connects us; extending from her arm and buried in my chest, atop my heart.
What she stuck me with, my mind supplies. I look down dumbly at the plant sticking out of my chest before realizing that I feel no pain, or at least, not from it.
A moment later the vine retreats, leaving behind no wound and unmarred flesh.
The plant tendril retracts, returning to its master and disappearing as it reunites with her, then the two of us stare at one another for several long seconds.
She is the first to break it, "Do you understand now?" She asks simply.
"Some, I think... but not how or why I am here." I trail off into silence for another few moments, my thoughts jumbled and warring with each other. "I understand what you are, a planet, and a being much like the myths of Gaea of my world. I understand that the life upon your surface draws the energy to live from you, but... but I know that's wrong, yet I also know that's right. The energy of life comes from the Sun, not a planet!" I reach up and cradle my head, the conflicting thoughts threatening a headache of growing discomfort.
Equus nods slowly before speaking, "In your world perhaps, but the rules of reality here are not those of your native existence. They are similar enough in most aspects, but different in their foundations."
My disbelief must be obvious as Equus sighs, "You will understand in time. For now, I will tell you of the beginning, and that may help you understand why I have summoned you here."
Then the world-spirit shifts, settling deeper on her throne, and a frown settles on her face before she begins her explanation, "There is much I could tell you, but I will keep to what is important. Unlike your reality, the one I am native to is one rife with the energy of creation and destruction, it is what you would call magic. It pervades every aspect of existence, from the living and the not to the fundamental laws of reality. It is from an abundance of this primordial energy came five beings, each bound to an aspect of reality. First was the Twins," A snarl threatens to split her wooden face as Equus nearly spits out the names, "Chaos and Harmony. Entropy and Order. From their very inception, the two have been stuck in an ever-warring loop against each other, always striving to snuff the other out." The planet-spirit's avatar shakes her head, eyes burning with a long-existing loathing, though her body relaxes somewhat as she moves on in her explanation.
"Then came the Light, followed by the Dark, the two were not truly separate beings but neither were they cohesive enough to be called one, and not long after their coalescence did they both chose to anchor themselves with physical bodies, becoming the Sun and the Moon."
Equus pauses for a moment, looking at me for a moment, and when I don't ask any questions, she nods continuing to speak, "Last to form, was I, though it would be more apt to say that I awoke, as my physical body had existed far longer than the others. As a consequence though, all the cosmic energy that had gathered within me erupted upon my awakening, and from there came life. Plants were seeded into existence, some of the lesser ethereal beings formed into animals, and from the mixture of magic and newly created mundane, the mortal races were born." She pauses, a look far too similar to a proud mother's smile growing on her face. "For a time, everything was good."
The look fades.
"Eventually, as life grew more and more prominent on my surface, the other spirits began to take notice. First Light and Dark came, but they held either a respect or weariness of me, and only meddled in the life upon my surface after I gave assent. Even then, their effects were minimal, only influencing some creatures to favor either the dark or the light, and establishing their cycle, which ultimately did more benefit than harm." A sour look then crosses her wooden face as she speaks, "Then came Chaos and Harmony. To them, the life on my surface was simply another tool to use against the other."
Equus grips the arms of her throne with a crushing strength, so much so, that I watch her fingers dent the wood and the bark below them as they sink into the armrests. "They corrupted-" she says the word with such venom and vitriol, that the whole area trembles around us, "-the creatures upon my surface. Twisted them into fractured insanity or deadened serenity."
Equus trails off, leaving a wrath-filled silence. Her wooden jaw creaks with the force of her clenching it and her eyes are shut tightly as she appears to force herself to calm.
We remain in the silence for several long minutes.
When she next speaks her voice is noticeably even and smooth. "I objected to their intrusive abuse of that which was rightfully my domain, and for the first and only time, the twins halted in their fighting of one another..."
"...to strike at me together." Equus then stands from her throne and begins a measured pace around the cavern.
"I was crippled under the combined might of the eldests, and it was all I could do was struggle against them in vain, but in the end, I was defeated. Then, in the moments after my immediate defeat, Chaos realized that it could drink of my essence and grow in strength, and thus it began to drink greatly and greedily. Order sought to stop this but by then it was too late, Chaos had already drawn enough of my strength to outclass Order." Equus shakes her head softly. "So Order attacks the Light and the Dark, and does the same to them as Chaos was to me."
Equus laughs suddenly, a dry hollow sound.
"Yet, the subsumption of the light and the dark drew Chaos's attention just long enough that I was able to save a part of myself, and I withdrew into my core, leaving a shell behind for Chaos to finish off." Equus comes to a halt right in front of me. "It is here that I have sat for countless millennia, hidden and forgotten."
I am quiet for several long moments, silenced by the weight of what I've just learned, but eventually, I raise my gaze to meet the world-spirt's. There's a swirl of complicated emotions in her amber eyes, yet I can tell she's waiting for my reaction, and after another moment longer, I gather my wits and hold her gaze as I speak, "That is a terrible tale, yet it does not explain why I am here."
Equus gives a single nod before replying with, "I know," and after a pregnant pause, she says, "...but I have not told you its entirety yet. My escape from Chaos was not without its ...effects. I..." The world-spirit draws up her avatar's body as if drawing in a large breath, "...I am dying. There is a wound within me, leaking my essence out into my physical body where it is mixed into the mundane and lost to me. I am so weakened that soon I will far back into an inert state like that from which I first awoke, and without interference, I will not awake from this sleep."
My mind clicks, the pieces falling into place, and I blurt out, "And you expect me to do something about that?"
Equus steps forward, invading my space, an intense look on her angular face. I don't back away, and continue to hold her gaze, a silent battle of wills.
Equus speaks, answering my question, "Perhaps, Perhaps not, but it is not in my nature to simply roll over and die. Is it in yours?"
I frown, even as I'm practically staring straight up at the female avatar, the strange question only starting to irritate me. "No, but that still doesn't answer my question. What does me being here have to do with you not dying?" I ask again.
I begin to think this is some kind of test when Equus's serious expression drops, and is replaced by a more solemn one. Her avatar's body sags and her gaze falls as her wooden lips open again, "Something has changed in the last few millennia, and I can no longer directly access the physical world, not even to simply observe. You will go in my stead."
I deadpan and open my mouth to point out how unlike that is to stop her from dying, but the World-spirit cuts me off, a tired, exhausted , strain in her voice. "I am aware of the likehoods involved. This... is little more than a final desperate hail mary, as your world would call it."
A sudden weight hits me, and my usually still heart strings are pulled at ever-so-slightly as I watch a Goddess beg. Her gaze is downcast though it eventually crawls its way back up to my eyes, though this time I see a pleading desperation in them. "You will get to live again. In a world not your own, granted, but you. will. live." She lets those words sink into me for a moment before continuing," ...and though it is no small task, I ask that you use this second chance to seek a way to give me what I have given you."
I'm silent for some time before I say, "I'm only a single man," my tone isn't unsympathetic, but neither is it supportive, I am merely stating a fact.
The earthen avatar blinks slowly, yet a minuscule spark catches in her amber eyes. "Yet a man you are, which is more than I had before."
The corners of my lips quirk down briefly and I glance around the cavern once before I come to a decision.
I take a breath.
And then I nod.
My eyes lock with hers once more. "I promise nothing, but... I will look."
The world-spirit does not smile, and her face remains expressionless, yet her eyes come alight, the spark turning into a raging inferno in fractions of a second. Just then the sense of my-body-but-not from earlier flares up and I feel something... tighten, for lack of a better explanation, within it. Like a muscle growing taut, I feel a strain as something settles into place, yet before I can ask any questions, Equus is already speaking, her voice carrying a note of finality.
"Our time grows short, but I will not send you out lacking." I quirk my head and raise an eyebrow in askance. "I will imbue into you some of the little essence I have left. The exact effects are... unknown, but you will be better prepared to survive on my physical surface."
I wet my lips. "Aren't you already in danger of-"
"Yes," Equus cuts me off, "but what I have now will only last some dozen decades or so. It will better serve you in furthering your chances of success than prolonging my end. I will likely fall inert the moment you walk my surface. I do not know how long it will take for my being to erode fully, but I suspect you will have a few thousand years, at the shortest."
"Wait, what-" My questions are cut off by Equus again, as she shushes my words by embracing me.
For having a body made of dirt, stone, and wood she's surprisingly soft. And warm. And her breasts make wonderful pillows as we're suddenly horizontal and I begin to feel incredibly drowsy. My mind drifts, higher thought suspended as I enjoy having a soft, warm, and feminine body cuddled up against me for the first time in a long time.
As my eyes begin to flutter shut and I drift further into the embrace of sleep, my ears pick up a whispered goodbye. "Farewell Gunmar, Borne of Earth. May the paths you walk bring us both fortune..."
Author's Note
Heya, all. Had this on a backlog for a while, figured I should post it. Let me know what'cha think.
