Eternal Alicorn and immortality
Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, and the whole long life that I have managed to live is just a delusion and a figment of my imagination. And in fact, I've always been here, in this pitch darkness, shackled by the roots and cut off from the outside world. The outside world? Ha! I believe I’ve made this one up too. I made up this "outside world" myself, but in fact there is only me and the boundless blackness around. I’ve had plenty of time for my fantasies to become pretty realistic. Weeks? Moons? Dozens of moons? I don’t know how much time has passed. Not sure if I want to know though…
I recall my life, because I have nothing else to do. Everything, starting from the earliest memories of my fillyhood and on, and on… I try to recall every detail, every day since the moment I remember myself. I have lived for thousands of moons, so I have more than enough of memories to entertain myself for a long time. Every time I get lost and distracted by the thoughts about something else, I start over, and over, and over again, since the very first memory. It helps me pass the time and wait for...I don’t know what I am waiting for.
As an Alicorn, I’ve always been proud of the immortality bestowed upon me by the fate itself. It made me special. If you are immortal, then you are strong and deserve all the respect and power. Alicorns are the immortal rulers of the pathetic inferior ponies... "Immortal rulers"... I liked that title. I thought it was perfect for me. The inferior ponies are afraid of death, and therefore it was even more pleasant for me to realize my own eternity. Silly earth ponies, uncouth pegasi, incompetent unicorns – they all grow old and die. I, on the other hoof, the last alicorn in Equestria (until Sunny Starscout appeared, this pathetic excuse for an alicorn, who does not understand her happiness with her primitive earth pony brain!), am an eternity. For you, little ponies, the word "eternity" is something unattainable and desirable. Oh, for me eternity is a part of life. Did I mention that I've been proud of it since I was a filly? That's putting it mildly. Not only did I revel in the realization of my immortality and often bragged about it in front of my little friend Misty, who dared to betray me after everything I had done for her!.. Oh, right, immortality… I loved to think that everything in this world has an end, and only I am eternal. This thought warmed my soul the way fire warms you on a cold day.
Ha! You know, my immortality has played a cruel trick on me!
I remember the moment, when the roots dragged me into the trunk of my own Together Tree, so well, as if it had just happened. It happened a long time ago actually, I’m sure… I remember the last time I saw the light before everything went pitch dark. At that moment, I hadn't had time to realize that I wouldn’t see freedom again for a very, very long time. You know, in my life I've had to go through a lot of things that you, little ponies, wouldn't dream of in the darkest nightmares. But I have to admit, being imprisoned inside of the Together Tree turned out to be a particularly sophisticated form of torture that could surpass anything I've encountered before. Imprisoned, immured, buried alive, whatever you want to call it. Sunny Starscout and her pathetic little besties turned out to be not as such lovable cuties as they want to seem. They will never set me free (and I don't need their fake mercy, much less their pity!), but do you know what the bitter irony is? Even death won't set me free!
I think that, while trying to make the Together Tree grow, I created my own grave. That’s an interesting thought…
It's dark in here. I recall Misty blurting out tactlessly several times that it was too dark in my lair. Oh, please! I would love to see her now. If my lair was too dark for her, then how would she like this eternal darkness?! The worthless traitor is probably having fun with her friends right now, while I'm slowly losing my mind and rotting inside the tree. How lovely! And they told me something about the importance of unity and friendship?! But I swear, it's so dark in here that sometimes I feel like I'm blind. I don't even have my powers to light up my prison just a tiny little bit!
Silence. It’s terribly annoying! I hear the creaking of branches outside from time to time, but nothing else. I'm talking to myself, talking over, and over, and over again, because this silence is driving me crazy! It makes my ears ring horribly. I hate silence!
Hunger. You know, immortality doesn't deprive me of the ability to feel hungry and thirsty. I'm starving. I swear, I'm ready to eat the bark of tree, but I can’t reach it! My stomach is cramping from hunger, and my throat is terribly dry.
Touches. I can't see, but I can feel the roots wrapping around my body like a cocoon. Sometimes the roots squeeze me so hard that I'm afraid they'll break my bones. To think that I've spent so much time trying to grow this stupid treacherous tree, and now it's hurting me! The roots squeeze my chest, so it's hard for me to breathe, and I constantly feel their touch on my fur. They hold me by the throat, and I think that if I start to resist, they will immediately wring my neck. They squeeze my legs, preventing me from moving my limbs; the wings are pressed against the body so tightly that I constantly experience a dull aching pain. I'm suffocating, and I can't die of suffocation.
I start to count. And I count, and count, and count… And then I recall texts of books and everything I've ever read, seen or heard. I have nothing left but memories. I don't like to think about why I ended up here. It makes me think about how humiliatingly I lost! I don't like to recall my fillyhood in Skyros, because I only remember burning resentment and anger. I don't like to recall Twilight Sparkle, Sunny Starscout, Misty… I don’t like to recall lots of things, actually. When I think about all the abusers and traitors, who got in my way, I want to get out of here, burn everything around, find, destroy, and, most importantly, make them feel all the injustice that I’ve ever felt and feel now! And the roots squeeze me even tighter, until I calm down and relax. And all that I can do is to curse my enemies.
And more than anything I like to recall my cozy – and deviously scary – lair. My lair, in the place of which this tree now stands. My beautiful castle has been destroyed. I know that. I hope you're happy, Misty. You didn't like it. I realize that my throne room, and my chambers, and the library turned into ruins… And the roots are squeezing me again, because I can't think about it calmly.
I also think about how I look right now. Undoubtedly, I have always been the most beautiful and charming pony in Equestria (and among the Alicorns too, of course). But when I start to imagine what I look like now, I want to cry. I would give anything to get myself cleaned up, take a long relaxing bath and brush my mane.
One day I’ll be free. I swear, one day this tree will collapse, and I will see the light again! I just have to wait a little bit more – and believe me, I can wait well. And rest assured, I definitely will not be merciful to my enemies. I'll get my powers back and avenge myself for everything they've done to me.… However, first I will take care of my appearance and build a new lair for myself. And then these pathetic ponies will pay for everything! Especially you, Sunny Starscout, and that worthless traitor Misty. Oh, if I had my powers now, I would simply burn this tree! Yes, of course, it's a shame to destroy what I've been raising for so long – but it's its own fault.
Lately, I've been falling into unconsciousness more and more often, and I like it. I stop being aware of what is happening and don't bother thinking about anything. I don't care about what's going on around me, and so I can finally rest. I am enveloped in peace… And then I come to my senses again, I realize where I am, and the rage comes with renewed force.
Do you understand now, why my immortality played a cruel trick on me? I don't want to die, because I know that the day will come, when I will be free again – and then I will come back once and for all, and all of them will get what they deserve! But sometimes I think that, perhaps, the only way out of here is death. And then I realize that nothing will free me from darkness and starvation.
At first, I was angry – when I didn't have time to realize the full horror of my situation. I screamed, yelled and cursed them all. And now, more and more often, I feel despair. No matter how much time has passed, nothing changes here. There's only me here. And my thoughts.
If somepony comes and gets me out of this nightmare, I'll think about giving this pony a decent reward. As soon as I get my powers back, of course. It's a great deal, isn't it?
I am so tired…
