The Break Up Go Down

by Pillowfight

Rating: mature
Tags: Narcotics, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cheese Sandwich, Comedy, Sex, Braeburn, Sassaflash, Caramel, Profanity, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life
Length: 2943

Caramel always has terrible luck with the mares. It's a good thing his O&O group is here to help get him over his latest breakup... in the most inappropriate way possible.

Caramel’s “performance problems” in the bedroom have destroyed the budding relationship between him and the lovely Sassaflash. It’s up to his regular O&O group, and a handsome stranger from Appleloosa, to help the heartbroken stallion discover the simple explanation for his romantic woes: he might not be interested in mares at all...

Meanwhile, Sassaflash is also dealing with a crappy breakup, but undergoes no such realization.

A Caramel x Braeburn story written for the M/M Shipping Contest. Contains bros being bros, a journey of self discovery, a musical number, and just a little bit of ridiculous hardcore gay sex.

Published 2024-10-09 22:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-10-09 22:30:01 UTC

Getting over it

As his doorbell rang Caramel sighed and looked around his living room. Everything was ready for an epic guy’s night: the gaming table with its rulebooks and piles of dice, a full supply of snacks and the hastily cleaned carpet. Yet all of these things which Caramel had spent so long setting up, now seemed like a mere reminder of the life of happiness he’d lost. Just an hour ago he’d been happy, successful, the stallion who had everything... then she had plunged him into the depths of misery!

All he had left now were his friends. Hiding his frown, Caramel opened the door and greeted those friends, who’d arrived for what they thought would be an ordinary O&O session. Big Mac had shown up of course, and good old Cheese Sandwich, with his rubber chicken and accordion in tow. Yet a third, unfamiliar stallion also stood at Caramel’s doorstep, a handsome blond cowpony who sported a stylish vest and hat — much more clothing than the average pony wore, and he wore it well!

“Erm... hi there...” Caramel stuttered.

“Howdy do, handsome,” the strange stallion greeted with a tip of his hat.

“Oh, sorry, Caramel,” Big Mac explained. “This is mah cousin Braeburn, he‘s visitin’ from Appleloosa. He loves O&O, an I figured ya’ll could squeeze ’im in fer tonight’s session.”

“I-I guess that’s fine...” Caramel stuttered.

“I brought mah character sheet!” Braeburn waved a piece of paper happily. “He’s a changelin’ bard with the Courtesan background!”

“Guys, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be much fun tonight,” Caramel confessed. “I was just talking to Sassaflash and... she broke up with me!”

“Eenope!” Big Mac muttered sympathetically, placing a gentle hoof on Caramel’s wither.

“I’m sorry, dude.” Cheese Sandwich looked up from Caramel’s snack table where he’d been preparing a skyscraper of a pickle and potato chip sandwich. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No!” Caramel burst out, but then he helplessly continued talking, as tears flowed down his muzzle. “I asked her if she wanted to go with me to Berry’s bar tomorrow, and... she ended it! It’s over! My first relationship, and it only lasted 3 weeks! And the worst part is...” Tears came to Caramel’s eyes as he began to blubber uncontrollably. “She... it’s because I... I... I can’t get it up!”

“Not even the tiniest bit?” Vinyl Scratch asked. “He stayed sheathed the entire time?”

With a flick of a hoof, Sassaflash tossed her rose-petal vodka sour into her mouth. Her wings shuddered, and the harsh liquor brought wetness to her eyes to mask the tears of sadness.

“To be fair, I think he managed it once,” the unhappy pegasus admitted. “He went into the bathroom for a few minutes. Celestia knows what he was doing back there, but when he came out he was dangling halfway out of his sheath.”

“Oh, dear,” Octavia mused. “Just ‘dangling?’ For a lovely mare like you?”

“It didn’t look like the way they describe dicks in romance novels,” Sassaflash sniffled. “It wasn’t ‘stiff’ or ‘powerful,’ it didn’t make my ‘mare parts’ tingle, it was just this big, ugly, gross, floppy... thing.”

“That matches my experience,” Vinyl muttered. “Have you ever been with a stallion before?”

“I’ve still never been with a stallion!” Sassaflash pounded a hoof on the table. “Another vodka, barkeep!”

“Alright, boys,” Cheese Sandwich marched smartly back and forth across Caramel’s living room, passing by Big Mac to Braeburn to Boneless, only to swivel about and march back again. Caramel sat miserably on his couch with his head in his hooves, paying little heed to his excitable friend.

“This is no ordinary O&O night,” Cheese announced. “This has now become an emergency ‘cheer our bro up’ post-breakup party!”

“Did somepony say ‘party?’” Pinkie Pie popped her head through a nearby window, then did a double take. “Woops! Looks like the last thing this party needs is a mare! Have fun, Cheezy!” With a broad wink at her husband, Pinkie vanished into the Ponyville night, as quickly as she’d appeared.

“Hi, Pinkie... oh, she’s gone.” Caramel’s eyes brightened for a single moment, but he soon found himself plunged back into the depths of his post breakup depression.

“We got this, guys — let’s ideate some ways to help Caramel feel better!” Cheese Sandwich quickly handed out pencils and paper to the two ponies and the solitary rubber chicken he’d recruited for this crucial mission. “Put your answers into this hat, and I’ll read them out. Remember, this is just the brainstorming stage — no wrong answers!”

After a few moments of quiet scribbling, Cheese Sandwich’s top hat held three folded slips of paper. He took them one at a time and read them out to his audience.

“Alright, I have ‘suck his dick,’ ‘suck his dick,’ and... ‘suck his dick.’ Boneless, I’m shocked at you! But you do make a good point. C’mon guys, let’s suck his dick!”

“Suck my what?” Caramel blurted out, but the lower half of his body had already provided the answer. Slipping out of his sheath and growing thicker by the moment was his stallionhood, fat and golden with a cute flare and a thick medial ring. Caramel’s friends licked their lips as he unwittingly came to a full erection in moments beneath the lustful gazes of three handsome stallions.

“Yer dick,” Big Mac explained, pointing at the stiff horsecock that now stood between him and Caramel. “It needs suckin’. So we’re gonna suck it.” Caramel’s was a stiff and powerful dick indeed, and Big Mac, Braeburn and Cheese Sandwich all swiftly found that it set their own stallion parts a-tingle!

“B-but isn’t that gay?” Caramel tried to hide his erection from his friends, but he found himself with just too much erection to hide the whole thing! “I mean... to have another guy suck you off?”

“Not necessarily,” Braeburn assured, as Cheese Sandwich silently scoffed. “Back in Appleloosa, smokin’ hot BJs is just somethin’ bros do fer bros, ta show they care.”

“Oh, after a breakup?” Caramel asked.

“Erm, sure,” Braeburn agreed after some hesitation. “Or if they’ve had a tough day, or jes cause they smell nice...”

“He smells great,” Big Mac moaned, nuzzling against Caramel’s neck. “Like cologne an’ jes a lil’ bit o’ sweat.”

“I-I wore the cologne for Sassaflash!” Yet his latest moan of self pity was drowned out as Big Mac sat next to him on his couch and kissed him, overpowering his objections with his strong lips and irresistable farmcolt tongue. Meanwhile, Braeburn knelt before Caramel’s sofa and gave a curious lick to the big earth pony cock before him.

“You’ve got a *slurp* great dick, Caramel,” the Appleloosan praised. “Jes about perfect fer suckin’ on, I reckon. Any guy would be proud ta fellate such a mighty stallionhood.” Fitting his lips over the flare, he began to gently suck on Caramel’s cock, bobbing his head up and down to take inch after inch into his mouth.

“You’re really cute, too.” Cheese Sandwich added. He squeezed his plot onto the couch opposite Big Mac, and gently rubbed Caramel’s nipples with one front hoof, polishing them to perfect pinpricks of arousal. (The other hoof held his pickle and potato chip sandwich as he hungrily munched away.) “Your body’s in good shape, and your *crunch, crunch* face is so handsome and kind. And you’ve always got the *munch* best snack table in town!”

“Oh my gosh!” Caramel squealed as Braeburn took the flare of his cock deep into his mouth, squeezing the flesh into his throat, plunging his muzzle down until the brim of his hat pressed against the bronze fur of Caramel’s underbelly. “I never felt like this with Sassaflash!”

“Whoa now, ya shouldn’t be thinkin’ one thought bout Miss Sassaflash,” Big Mac admonished his friend between kisses. All the while, Braeburn worked his muzzle up and down Caramel’s surging prick, performing the most obscene tricks with his tongue. “You jes concentrate on what mah cousin is doin’ ta yer dick. Ya don’t wanna miss one moment o’ the fun.”

“Guys, it’s too much, I’m gonna—OH, WOW!” Caramel whinnied his confession as his dick pulsed and began spurting thick ropes of pent up cream into Braeburn’s hungrily sucking mouth. He’d struggled to achieve even a half chub with his onetime marefriend, but these three hunks had gotten him stiff and drained him, in record time! “Please... I’ve never... WOW!”

“Great BJ, Braeburn!” Cheese Sandwich cheered, clapping the eagerly gulping Appleloosan on the wither as he tossed the last of his sandwich into his own mouth. “Even Pinkie couldn’t have done any better! Now, what’s next for the evening?”

“I reckon our friend still ain’t over his ex,” Big Mac objected. “One solitary mouth hug ain’t gonna do it, where matters of the heart is concerned.”

“But you can’t mean—”

“Eeyup,” Mac nodded firmly. “I say he needs his dick sucked agin.”

“A-again?” Caramel stuttered. The last drops of his orgasm were just dribbling out of his shrinking flare into Braeburn’s mouth, and his friends were already proposing that he go another round? Big Mac and Cheese Sandwich just smiled slyly at one another from either side of Caramel’s ecstatic, yet somewhat worried face. Both of these handsome stallions were thinking the same thing:

One blowjob down, two to go!

“I’ve got it!” Sassaflash smiled and giggled with the sudden realization, splashing her hoof into the drink she’d spilled on the bartop. “The solution to all my problems! I’ll become a lllesbian, like you two.”

“Alright, that’s it,” Vinyl cautioned. “You’ve had enough. We’re taking you home.” With a wave, she shooed Berry Punch far away from their corner of the bar.

“Nnnever!” Sassaflash slurred her words even as she slowly slid off of her barstool. Her wings fluttered limply as she landed with a thump on her plot. “I made up my mind, I hate dick! Im’a munch carpets all day long, and never look at stallions again.”

“Dearest Sassaflash, one can’t simply decide to be a lesbian,” Octavia objected. “It’s something that one feels deep in one’s heart. From the day I learned what love was, I knew that one day I wanted to share that love with another mare. And now—”

“Dun... care!” Sassaflash interrupted with a grunt. “Stallions are dumb. I like mares, starting now.”

“You know, we could...” Vinyl made eye contact with her elegant marefriend, who rolled her eyes.

“She’s drunk, Vinyl,” Octavia snorted. “And what, exactly, do you propose? That we should get her past her breakup with a hot mare-on-mare orgy? That’s not a realistic view of sexuality!”

“Oh, guys, it feels so good!” Caramel writhed on his sofa, unable to believe how well tonight was working out for him! He’d gone into the evening feeling dejected and dumped, yet now Caramel was back, baby! Somehow he’d stumbled into being the centre of attention, desired by not one but three hot stallions!

Big Mac and Cheese Sandwich knelt at the foot of his sofa, each sucking gently on one of Caramel’s testes, pushing the virile orbs around with their tongues. All the while, Braeburn stroked Caramel’s mane and kissed up and down his muzzle, whispering how handsome and attractive he found his new friend. This O&O group was simply the best!

“I reckon he’s stiff enough ta have more fun with,” Big Mac spoke up before too long. Indeed, Caramel’s spent dick had quickly ceased its journey back into its sheath and began to throb again, swelling back into an impressive length of golden stallionhood as his balls were relentlessly sucked and teased.

Braeburn smiled as he pressed his lips against Caramel’s quivering, tingling pair. “Alright, who’s next ta make our cutie-bro ferget all bout them fickle mares?”

“Me! Me!” Cheese Sandwich eagerly raised a hoof and shook it all about.

“W-wait...” Caramel somehow found the strength to object. “What about you and Pinkie Pie?”

“Believe me, she’s cool with it!” Cheese assured.

Caramel blushed and stammered. “But I mean... she’s a mare, and we’re both stallions.”

“Well duh, you ever hear of being bisexual?”

“I-I guess—”

“You haven’t? Let me tell you all about it!” Before anypony could stop him, Cheese Sandwich had strapped on his accordion and leaped up onto his hind legs on Caramel’s coffee table. Cheese’s unsheathed and stiffening dick swung before Caramel’s startled face, like an erotic pendulum, as the curly haired stallion began to sing:

Sometimes you need to gobble prick, sometimes you’d rather pussy-lick
Some days a guy’s just gotta breed, some days a ponut’s what you need
Say heteronormativity’s got you hiding your proclivity
Then a couple grabs your hose and you say ¿Porqué no los dos?
Now you‘re toppin’ and you‘re bottomin’, on the bed and couch and ottoman
And your nuts they start—

“Actually I think I’m just gay,” Caramel interrupted the song.

“Oh, that’s cool too!” Cheese Sandwich tossed his accordion over his wither, letting the unfortunate instrument land with a plop in the guacamole. He performed a stage dive off the coffee table, landing on his knees with Caramel’s revived cock deep in his throat.

“Oh, wow, please don’t stop, bro...” Caramel moaned, feeling the intense pleasure of Cheese’s talented vocal cords vibrating on his cock. “This is definitely the best way to get over a breakup!”

Vinyl Scratch and Octavia grunted with exertion, holding the soused Sassaflash between them as they walked (more like dragged) their friend home. Unfortunately, the fastest way to Sassaflash’s house brought them right past Caramel’s cottage. As they slowly passed by, loud moaning sounds could be heard from behind the rattling windows.

“Say, Tavi, how do you think Caramel’s handling the breakup?” Vinyl giggled tipsily.

“Ugh,” Octavia sniffed. “It sounds like his friends have hired some cheap whorse to cheer him up for the night.” The two mares hurried their near comatose friend past the noisy house of her recent ex. “If there’s one thing I know about stallions, it’s that they’re incapable of processing their emotions in any mature way.”

All three mares present had to agree with that!

As Celestia’s sun crept through the shutters of Caramel’s house, he stirred in his bed and slowly came awake. Basking in the warmth of a sunbeam, he became aware of the cozy comforts of Braeburn’s hooves around his barrel, Big Mac’s snoring cheek beneath his muzzle, and the pleasant weight of Cheese Sandwich’s skinny form draped over all three of them.

It’s a new day... Caramel thought to himself. A new day, and I feel OK!

Of course, cumming three times down the throats of three different stallions probably had something to do with Caramel’s good mood. Not to mention all the virile loads of sperm he’d swallowed in return, or the epic fourth load he’d sprayed all over this very bed-frame when Braeburn gently worked his dick a few inches up Caramel’s virgin ponut!

That dick was still wedged in Caramel’s backdoor, where Braeburn had spent the entire night, limp but prevented from sheathing by the tight grip of Ponyville’s newest bottom. Despite the slight soreness in his hindquarters, Caramel had to admit he still wasn’t ready for Braeburn to pull out!

The gentle snoring of the quartet of stallions was suddenly interrupted by Pinkie Pie, who burst through the window, reached under the covers and grabbed Cheese Sandwich by the leg. “Morning sex time! Yoink!” In a pink flash, she and her husband were gone.

“Mmmm... good mornin’, boys,” Big Mac rumbled. “How are we doin’ this fine day?”

“I feel a lot better, Mac,” Caramel confessed. “I’m not even mad at Sassaflash anymore. If you think about it, she did me a favour!”

“Good ta hear.” Braeburn nuzzled Caramel’s neck as he slowly awakened to the heavenly presence of the two strong stallions who remained in his bed. “Now, we ain’t gonna have no more o’ this mopin’, are we, Caramel? No more feelin’ unworthy o’ love.”

“N-no, sir,” Caramel admitted, melting into Braeburn’s kiss on the back of his neck, as Big Mac silently hugged him from the front.

Braeburn chuckled lightly. “An’ cut out that nonsense bout not gettin’ it up! We all saw ya hard as an unripe crabapple last night. If a pony can’t stiffen that monster, that’s their problem, not yers.”

“Y-yeah, I guess so,” Caramel agreed, feeling his well used stallionhood begin to stir in its sheath once more.

“That’s the right attitude, bro.” Braeburn slowly moved his hips as his voice rumbled in Caramel’s chest, filling the smaller stallion with contentment... and, seemingly, with a swiftly swelling cock!

“Now, it looks like I’ll be stayin’ in Ponyville fer longer than I planned,” Braeburn mused as he found his desire once more. “Seems there’s a cute feller lives here, who needs ta learn ta love agin.”

“Y-you can stay here, at my place,” Caramel promised. Please stay here! he silently begged.

“Well, that’s right generous of ya.” Braeburn gently rolled Caramel onto his belly and began gently thrusting his morning wood into the sperm lubricated hole of his brand new friend. “Mighty convenient, too. But would ya mind actually DMin' some O&O fer us tonight? I was lookin’ forward to it. I confess my changelin’ bard ain’t seen a fight in some time.”

Caramel’s plothole throbbed with contentment as he was gently, yet powerfully taken by the mysterious Appleloosan. If this was how the day started, how would it end? Would Caramel be able to resist Braeburn’s masculine temptations for an entire evening?

“No promises...” he sighed.