Once the set was back to the way it was, Pinkie heard the sound of someone arguing on the other side of the door that led to a show called Who's Never Going To Be A Millionaire. Pinkie slowly opened the door and saw her friend, Twilight Sparkle, arguing with a woman withe green eyes and pink hair. The woman was wearing a green shirt, black pants, pink shoes, and pink earrings.

"What do you mean it's not new?!" Twilight bellowed.

"Watch your tongue, dearie," the woman scolded. "Besides, the whole thing about you going crazy at the Friendship games is news from months ago. People have already forgotten about it. I'm terribly sorry, sweetie, but I can't have you on my show."

And with that, the woman closed the door she was standing in front of. The word above the door was labeled, Myra! The woman in question was, in fact, Myra Stump, herself.

"Twilight!" Pinkie shouted.

She ran up to her friend and hugged.

"Pinkie Pie! What a pleasant surprise," Twilight said nervously.

"Nothing is a surprise to me," a man next to them said.

The man was wearing a grey shirt, a white jacket, white pants, and a rainbow-colored tie that was tucked in to his shirt.

"Did you have to barge in like that, Mr. Bliss?" Twilight snarled.

"My, my. Such frustration. Please, try to calm yourself. I was merely trying to add some insight," Hugh said in an unnaturally high pitched voice.

Just then, Sam, Max, and the others walked up to him.

"My, my. Isn't this wonderful? Here you are surrounded by friends. Riley Miriam David, Pamela-Pinkamena Diane Pratt, Jacqueline Ackerman, and Rachel LaBelle. All of which are now reunited with their friend, Tia Sabine, commonly known as Twilight Sparkle."

"Who are you?" Rainbow cringed.

"Hi, I'm Hugh Bliss!"

"Yeah, we know," Sam groaned.

"And you are Sam and Max, Freelance Police."

"How'd you know?" Max gasped.

"Do you believe in magic? 'Cause I do!" Hugh said.

"So, Hugh Bliss, what brings you to WARP?" Sam asked.

"I, too, am here to meet Myra."

"How'd you know we came for Myra?" Max asked.

"Don't you see? I can read your mind," Hugh giggled.

"Prove it!" Twilight challenged.

"Okay. You're thinking Hugh Bliss is a big fat charlatan."

"Lucky guess," she grumbled.

"Really? Well, your pink friend is thinking of a number. That number is 6,373,411.98!"

"Ding, ding, ding! Right!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"And Sam is thinking Enough of this ridiculous farce!"

"Stop it!" Sam growled.

Max then asked Hugh to read his mind. Hugh did just that and was extremely uncomfortable with what he found.

"That's unspeakably depraved!"

"Yeah, you got it!" Max beamed. "Wow, you're amazing!"

"If you really can do magic, then show us one of your tricks," Twilight sneered.

"Okay! I'll show you the magic of Prismatology in action!" Hugh said. "Pick a color, any color!"

"Ochre, ochre! No, mauve! Burnt sienna!" Max said.

"How about a color I've heard of, hmm? Pick a color, as long as it's red, green, or blue."

"It's not easy bein' green!" Sam said.

"Oh, but it is... with magic!"

Hugh's skin color immediately changed into green.

"I know what your thinking: Is it real or is it illusion?"

"Sam, Sybil said something about wanting a cover photo for her tabloid, remember?" Rarity said.

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Sam replied.

"Ooohh! Ooohh! Ooohh! Can I take the picture?! Can I?!" Pinkie asked.

"Absolutely," Hugh said. "The camera's just over there."

Pinkie got behind the camera as Sam and Max got into the frame with Hugh.

"Say chocolate covered puppies!"

"Chocolate covered puppies!" Sam and Max said.

Pinkie took the picture and immediately received the photograph.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed.

She then put the photo into her hair for safe keeping.

"Sorry to interrupt your little joy fest, but I've got a situation, here," the director said.

"Never fear, pretty lady, Hugh Bliss is--" Hugh started before getting interrupted.

"Yeah, anyway, our game show host went on Myra! hours ago and he still hasn't come out. Think you can fill in 'til he gets back?"

"Can a butterfly fly?"

The room was silent for about an entire minute.

"Really?" Twilight said while facepalming.

"Yes, it can. What do I do?"

"When a contestant comes to the podium, just read him a question from the card. Then, when he gets it wrong, insult him, and tell him to get off the stage," the director instructed.

"Oh, no, no! Prismatology teaches us to love everyone, no matter --"

"Right, just read the cards."

"Okay! I still love you!"

The director just shook her head in disgust.

"So, you go by Twilight, yes?" Sam asked.

"That's right," Twilight answered. "And I was trying to get in to Myra's show earlier. Apparently, you need to have a recording contract, a clip from a hit TV show that you star in, AND be involved in a recent scandal. And by recent, Myra means like something that's lasted no later than two to three weeks."

"Well, Max and I need to get into Myra's show, because she's holding her own audience hostage."

"Yeah, I've noticed. I overheard one calling out for help as I was talking to her."

"Hey, guys!" Rainbow called as she read the game show sign. "If anyone can win this game show, then we might be able to pay off Bosco and get that voice modulator!"

"I certainly hope you're right about that," Rarity said.

"Let's see if this works," Sam said as he walked up to the contestant podium with Max.

Rainbow and the others walked off-camera to make sure they weren't in the shot.

"We've got a contest, people! HIT IT!" the director called.

Hugh teleported over to the host podium as the theme music played.

"From somewhere deep within the bowels of WARP, it's Who's Never Going To Be A Millionaire!" the announcer exclaimed. "With special guest host, Huuuugh Bliss!"

"Hi, I'm Hugh Bliss!" Hugh said.

"Our first contestants are a pair of professional freelance police officers! They enjoy firing their guns randomly and running over things! Please welcome Sam and Max!"

"Listen, Sam! They love us!" Max beamed.

"Welcome! You know the rules: If you can answer even one question correctly, you'll walk away a millionaire!"

"I told you!" Rainbow whispered.

"Start loading the armored cars, Hugh, because my brain's stuffed with enough worthless trivia to power a small Chilean village for decades," Sam said.

"It's true!" Max added.

"Okay, are you ready?" Hugh asked, glancing at the question cards.

He then put them on the podium as he read the question.

"If a man sets out from the Horsehead Nebula in a spaceship traveling at thrice the speed of light, and his father leaves from Rigel II at the same time going half the speed, how many nanoseconds will it be before time paradox causes the first man never to have been born?"

"I'd have to guess Patty Duke's evil twin cousin," Sam said.

"Judges?"

The director immediately imitated the sound of a buzzer, indicating a wrong answer.

"Oh, I'm sorry, no. You lose!"

"This is an outrage! I demand a recount!" Max bellowed as Hugh put the questions away.

"We do have a fabulous consolation prize: a copy of Emetics, by me, Hugh Bliss!"

"No thanks," Sam said. "I'm content to leave with just my burning shame and newfound sense of inadequacy."

"Okay!"

"Find out which poor schmuck will be the next to blow his chance at millions, right after these messages!" the announcer exclaimed as Hugh teleported away.

"That... was... painful to watch," Twilight groaned.

Sam and Max walked away from the podium in defeat.

"Oh, like YOU could do any better?" Rainbow challenged.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I could! I knew what the answer was, because I'm educated in quantum physics! These are questions that a genius like myself could answer in one try! And I'll prove it!"

Twilight stormed up to the podium to get ready to answer a question.

"We've got another contestant! HIT IT!" the director shouted.

Hugh immediately teleported back over to the host's podium to read off another question.

"Welcome back. Our next contestant is Twilight Sparkle from Canterlot City!" the announcer exclaimed. "She enjoys hanging out with her friends, singing, and concocting some crazy experiments."

"Are you ready?" Hugh asked.

"Bring it!" Twilight said in determination.

Hugh looked at the cards and then put them down to read the question.

"Oh, happy day! It's an easy one! What is the meaning of life?"

"Ooooohhhh!! I know this one! I know this one! Come on, Twilight! Come on!"

"Better hurry up. Time's running out."

"Ehhhhhh... uhhhhhhh... FORTY-TWO!"

The buzzer went off as soon as she answered the question.

"Oh, dear. Oh, me. Oh, my. That's absolutely right!!!!"

"Gah!" Rarity gasped.

"Congratulations! You're a MILLIONAIRE!"

Twilight's podium screen flashed back and forth between the 0 and the censor symbols for cursing.

"We just went bankrupt, so we will not be back after these messages!" the announcer exclaimed as Hugh teleported away.

After doing so, the sign and the podiums exploded, indicating that the show was officially finished for good.

"Well, this is awkward, but we don't actually have a million a cash," the director said sheepishly.

"Sweet mother of all quiz show scandals!" Sam exclaimed.

"We'll have to give you one million dollars worth of food stamps."

"Well, at least it's a million dollars, regardless," Twilight said as she walked away from the podium.

Sam then started to count the food stamps as he took each of them individually.

"999,999, and a million!" Sam said as took the last food stamp.

"Let's go spend it, Sam!" Max said excitedly. "It's burning a hole in my pocket!"

"It's putting quite a bulge in mine."

After obtaining the money, everyone left the set of the game show and re-entered the set for Midtown Cowboys. Before they went any further, Pinkie noticed something that caught her attention. It was the door to a set of show called Cooking Without Looking.

"Can we go in there, please?" she begged.

"Oh, all right," Applejack said.

And so, that's what they did. They all entered the set to the cooking show.

Much to their surprise, however, there wasn't a single trace of any type of real food in sight. Pinkie went over to the ingredient rack and saw that all of the ingredients had strange labels such as sulfuric acid, buffalo chips, M.S.G, hair gel, and even one that said lard.

"I'm starting to wish we never set foot on this set," she cringed.

"Um, miss director, where's the host?" Twilight asked.

"He got food poisoning while he was taping last week's show," the director replied. "Right in the middle, in fact."

"Was it gruesome?" Max asked.

"Yes. And unfortunately, this show goes out live."

"Well, thanks anyway," Twilight said with a smile.

Pinkie grabbed two chef hats out of her hair and put them on Sam and Max's heads.

"What did you do that for?" Sam asked.

"Well, someone's going to have to fill in for the host, because I sure as hell ain't!" Pinkie said, folding her arms.

Sam walked over to the pot and the show immediately began.

"Hello! Welcome to the show?" Sam said.

"Thanks, Sam, it's great to be here!" Max said.

"Not you, buckethead! The audience!"

"Oh! Greetings, worshipful fans! Remember, the only reason I'm on TV is because I'm better than you!"

"We've got some furious cooking to do, so let's get right to it."

"What are we making, Sam?"

"Today, we're baking a cake! Let's visit our rack of ingredients and add flavoring to the flavoring pail..."

"I'm pretty sure that's a pot, Sam!"

"Max, let's leave the cooking to me and the eating to you. First, add a fistful of squid tentacles..."

Sam sprinkled said ingredient into the pot.

"Ooo, that's my favorite Western!"

"A pinch or two of wombat secretions..."

"Make sure they're lightly damp to the touch! The wombats, not the secretions..."

"A handful or two of buffalo chips..."

"You really can't add too many buffalo chips!"

"No more than a dash of uranium pellets..."

"They also go great in Chex Mix!"

"Of course, it wouldn't be real bachelor cooking without tweed..."

"Bachelors, here's a tip! Tweed isn't just for cooking... It also makes a great toupee!"

"Every chef has a signature ingredient that no one has ever heard of or used... mine's MSG!"

"If you put in enough that you feel a burning sensation in the back of the neck, forearms and chest, you're just about there!"

"You'll want to crush up some dried dingo kidneys..."

"Come on, bachelors! You know you have them! Look under the sofa cushions!"

"Don't skimp on the lard..."

"That's right! If you take the lard out of lard-ass, all you have is ass!"

"Well said, Max! And that's all of the ingredients you'll need!"

"Brilliant! Now do we broil it, Sam?"

"Right you are, little buddy. Into the oven it goes..."

Sam placed the pot into the oven and waited for a few seconds.

"And through the magic of TV cooking show time... one gorgeous, delicious cake, ready to be binged upon or shared amongst friends."

Much to everyone's surprise, the cake was indeed tasty-looking. It was a two-layer vanilla cake complete with shamrock-colored frosting.

"Oh, boy! Let's take it with us!"

Pinkie pulled a cake box out of her hair and placed the cake inside said box to keep it fresh. After that was over, they all decided to leave the studio for a bit.

Before they left, however, they saw that the stage that they had originally entered the studio into had been set up for the talent show, Embarrassing Idol. Not only that, but the former child stars, the Soda Poppers, were going to be judges. Well, two of them at least. Peepers, the youngest of his brothers, was haggling with the director about competing in the show himself.

"I just don't see how you can sing and be a judge. I don't think the public would swallow that," she said.

Twilight's eyes lit up upon seeing that her idol, Specs, was going to be a judge on the show.

"Specs?!" she gasped.

"Oh, no! It's Sprinkle again," Specs groaned.

"It's SPARKLE! GET IT RIGHT!"

"Could we at least find another judge?" Peepers asked. "What about one of those guys?"

The director then asked if any of them would be willing to be a judge on Embarrassing Idol. Max jumped at the opportunity and became the third judge. Peepers then stepped up to the microphone and started singing his original song. Upon hitting the high note, Twilight covered her ears, as she found his singing to be atrocious.

"Well, that was a bit sloppy, but I particularly liked how you hit that high note. That always impresses me. I think you'll get my vote," Specs said.

"I'm definitely voting for you! After all, you are my brother!" Whizzer said.

"That is so unfair!" Pinkie exclaimed. "You can't just vote for somebody just because they're related to you!"

"Well, apparently HE can!" Twilight groaned.

"Very impressive - You sound almost exactly like a sick cat being dragged through rusty farm machinery!" Max said. "But this is a singing contest, so I think I'll have to vote for someone else. Um, is there anyone else?"

"Not so far," the director said.

Peepers cheered, thinking he was going to win right away before walking out of camera view. As Sam went to go talk to the director, Twilight took the opportunity to go talk to Specs.

"Why are you even here?" he asked her.

"Why am I here? I originally wanted to get on Myra's show, but she shot me down," Twilight explained. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you see, my brothers and I have gotten good jobs here on Embarrassing Idol ever since we were involved in that hypnosis scheme concocted by that crazed, former child star, Brady Culture."

"Oh, yeah! I read about that in the news! He became bitter at you guys for stealing his spotlight, didn't he?"

"That about sums it up."

"Specs, I just have to know something. I stream this show online, so I was wondering, what kind of criteria do you look for in a singer?"

"I'm a stickler for technical proficiency. Usually I look for a high note - Someone who can hit a really high note always impresses me."

"I see. Well, thanks for that."

"Don't mention it."

She then turned her attention towards Whizzer.

"Excuse me, um, Whizzer, is it? What's your criteria when judging?"

"Fraternity. I'm voting for Peepers no matter what - He's my brother!" Whizzer said before turning his head towards Specs. "The one who didn't forget my birthday today, I might add."

"I said I was sorry," Specs retorted.

"Today's your birthday?" Twilight asked. "Did you order something special?"

"Yes, actually. I ordered a cake, but the craft services never brought it," Whizzer said.

"I think the craft services crew all went to watch the Myra show. Like everybody else," the director grumbled.

"All we got was a basket of tomatoes. Ick."

"You don't like tomatoes?"

"I like 'em just fine, but they don't like me!"

"You mean they gave you an upset stomach?"

"Yes! I can't eat any kind of tomatoes, not even the little cherry ones! If I do, I'll be out of commission for hours!"

"Hmm... This is a bit of a pickle. If I remember correctly, on Embarrassing Idol, all of the judges have to agree on one person in order for a winner to be decided. If Sam tries to participate now, he'll just be shot down by Whizzer, since the only person he'll be voting for is Peepers, no matter what. I hate to do this, but we've got to get Whizzer out of commission if anyone is going to get on Myra's show and free the audience!" she thought.

She was right. They had to get Whizzer out of commission somehow. And Twilight knew exactly how to do it.

Author's Note

In the original version, you had to take Peepers' lyrics and replace the questions with them. Then, you had to participate in the game show again and answer either yes or no, as Hugh will ask Am I Blue? If he is blue, you say yes, otherwise, the answer is no.

I changed it in order to have Twilight, the genius of her friends, be the one to answer in order to keep things fresh.

And actually, when I looked it up... the meaning of life actually IS one of the questions on the cards. I just didn't know it, because I always stole the cards after the first question was read to me.