Oh Deer

I sat with Reed silently in my hut. For a week, Reed has been visiting me far more frequently than before. Everytime I tried to talk to him about something, he would somehow mold the subject of the conversation into something about Sap-Joy. I wanted him to talk about something else, but at the same time, I couldn't have possibly convinced him to talk about anything else.

Today, I made some tea for him, and, to my surprise, he actually drank it. In fact, he even asked for a few extra cups of it, which was a great change of pace.

I sat across from him, fixing myself my own cup of warm, succulent maple tea. We drank in silence. However, Reed firmly planted his gaze on me for several minutes as he sipped from the cup. Sometimes, I even felt the need to avoid his gaze, and I would look down on my hooves or up at the ceiling.

Then, he said my name in a surprisingly soft tone, "Cinnamon..?"

I froze for a moment, and observed his gaze once more, "yes?" I muttered.

He didn't reply. Instead, he got up, walked toward me and sat right beside me, and... huddled with me. I felt an oncoming blush wash over my cheeks.

Before I knew it, he began caressing his head against my shoulder, nudging me softly. His physical distance from me, which was close to none, felt quite intimate. I leaned over to the top of his head, and noticed a frizzy tuft of hair on his head, and I licked it softly. I felt myself grow tingly and warm upon the gesture. Reed let out a breathy sigh, and I licked his head again, feeling warmer.

Suddenly, Reed gasped and flinched away from my lick, standing up abruptly and facing me in utter shock, his legs as straight as poles. I suddenly felt a wave of humiliation wash over me,

"Reed, I'm sorry..."

"No no," Reed shook his head,

"Please. It- It isn't your fault I-" he bit his lips, unable to finish the sentence. A moment later, and he plopped his haunches onto the ground, and an expression of intense guilt filled his gaze. He suppressed a sob,

"Reed, wait..." I slowly got up and inched closer to him, I tried to wrap my front leg around his back but he flinched away.

"No no... this is so wrong. This is so wrong..." Reed began to break down. I just stood there and watched, because it felt like the only thing I could do with Reed's permission. I even began to feel a little bit of guilt, as well.

"I'm broken..." he murmured,

"I... can't control it..."

"Reed, what are you talking about-" I started.

"Why do I feel this way for you!? How could I ever possibly feel this way for you!?" He bellowed. My ears folded back. Reed let out another sob and wiped his shiny black nose,

"I failed. I'm broken."

"Reed, please, I don't understand-"

"You shouldn't understand! B-Because guess what? You're broken too!" Reed shouted amidst his tears.

"What do you mean we're broken?" I asked.

"Don't you get it!? We're stags! We're..." he trailed off,

"Why do I feel this way every time I plant my eyes on you?" he asked remorsefully,

"Why do I feel this... love... this... fiery... fiery joy??"

I paused for a moment, admittedly, I felt a similar fiery feeling for him. But why? He was right in that we were both stags, but, did that truly matter?

"Maybe it's because... we're meant to be-" I started, the words fell out of my mouth without any thought behind them.

"Don't start with that!" Reed boomed,

"Admit it, Cinnamon! We're incompatible with each other! We- we were born in this world with this body to- to fulfill a purpose!"

"Reed, just because we feel this way for each other, doesn't mean-"

"Doesn't mean what!? I-I'll tell you what it does mean, though! A-And it's that we're... we're broken..." Reed lowered his head and began to sob softly. I couldn't stand seeing him this distressed and upset. First over Sap-Joy, and now over... us.

"Please leave," he grunted.

"Reed, I live here. This is my hut-"

"Fine, I'll leave." Reed promptly sprung up and stormed out of my hut, slamming the door behind him. I was left in my hut alone. I wanted to follow him, to tell him that what he thought was wrong.

We're broken...

Reed has it twisted. I want to tell him that those words weren't true. I wanted to get up and follow him, to berate him on how wrong he was. Then, I wanted to tackle him, and tell him my true feelings for him. But, Instead, I felt myself stuck and confined to my hut, only sitting quietly, and staring blankly at the door.

The only thing I could agree with Reed on was... why I felt this way for him? Why did I feel this way at all? I can even trace it back to my yearling years, where I was never once fascinated by a doe's figure. Instead, I had always found myself staring in the direction of the well-built stags in the village, and, most importantly, to my best friend, Reed-Tail. But, even so, he is scrawny, scruffy, and short. How could I ever... love him?

I always thought of my preferences to be strange and different, but, never would I have ever thought of the word "broken" to describe it, and that is where Reed is wrong.