Empress Daybreaker hates Monster Energy

by Koii

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Nightmare Moon, Comedy, Daybreaker
Length: 1651

Daybreaker's day is ruined by Monster Energy.

Ah, sunrise.  The perfect time for a cup of tea!

Calming, delicate, and sweet!  Just what Daybreaker wants in the morning.

Yes, tea truly is the best. . .

It’s simply unfortunate that her day is about to be ruined by Monster Energy.

UPDATE (10/05/24): Grammar and Spelling Revision, courtesy of TheSmokingGuy!

Now translated into Chinese thanks to AnQIRanA!

Featured on Equestria Daily on October 8, 2024!?

Published 2024-10-04 21:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-10-04 21:20:00 UTC

Is Monster Energy flammable?

Daybreaker sat at the long wooden table inside of the royal dining hall. A cup of tea was delicately placed to her side, and three piles of documents sat in front of her. The one on the right was the approve pile, barely more than a couple of papers. The one on the left was the deny pile, stacked a bit highly. And lastly, on the very edge of the table, was the incinerate pile. She’s quite fond of the incinerate pile. Like a work of art, it just sort of. . . spoke to her.

It especially spoke to her when it came to a few of these papers.

The pages she's gone through so far had varied from professional reports on rogue primeval creatures roaming the outskirts of small villages, to shakily written requests on lowering the temperature during daylight so that they could harvest without overheating.

The Solar Empress couldn’t help but scoff at that last one, ‘There’s no issue with the day being 49° Celsius.’

Honestly, a handful of ponies die of heat stroke and suddenly it’s oh so hot. Perhaps they’d like to spend a couple moons on the sun. Then they could really complain about the heat.

‘On the topic of complaining. . .’

Daybreakerss eye twitched as she looked at the stack of unread papers next to her. She’s been at this for three hours and the stack barely had a dent in it. And as much as she’d like to put everything in the incinerate pile, her little ponies were about as self-reliant as a foal flying a zeppelin. Without her, Daybreaker was almost positive they would all have run Equestria into the ground.

While the thought was amusing, it made her shoulders tense and her wings tighten up. She needed an empire, not a pile of ashes. She needed to keep things running smoothly. She needed competent ponies! She needed-

Sip.

The heat of her tea warmed her throat and soothed her senses. “Ah, finely aged white leaf tea. How I love you so~”

Taking another sip, the nerves from before dissipated, her shoulders relaxing from the warm taste of vanilla and herbs. How anypony could go through their day without a cup of tea baffled Daybreaker.

A red glow ran up her horn, enveloping the papers as she brought a new page towards her. If she wanted to get finished before midday, she had to continue.

Daybreaker leaned closer, “Let’s see.”

Dear Empress Daybreaker,

It is with great honor that I write to you today.

I come bearing news about the potential takeover of the seaponies kingdom known as Seaquestria. As you know it’s been many moons since we have learned of the Hippogriff’s escape into the sea. At first, we believed they had used dark magic to transform themselves into their new aquatic forms. But we have found out that our previous theory is false.

They, in fact, have a relic —an orb— that can transform creatures into different-

BAM!

“Sister! I have stupendous news!”

Daybreaker flinched as the dining hall door slammed open. The sudden action caused a gust of wind to sweep through the room. The Solar Empress watched in horror as her stacks of papers flew into the air, fluttering and mixing together before falling gently onto the ground.

Hours of work. Gone.

“The ponies have created this marvelous drink! ‘Tis fruity and even has small bubbles trapped within!”

Daybreaker’s gaze lifted from the scattered pages and stared at Nightmare Moon, who stood in the doorway with a wide and eager grin on her face.

“Sister. You have three seconds to explain why I should not reduce you to mere cinders!” Daybreaker bellowed. While she loved her sister, perhaps she could still love her inside an urn!

“Oh, forget your paperwork, Daybreaker!” Nightmare Moon’s grin widened, revealing pearly white fangs. She trotted inside, only making Daybreaker’s anger rise as she stepped on various documents on the ground. “They have created quite the invigorating drink! They call it- and get this, Sister- Monster!”

Daybreaker’s jaw clenched. “You interrupted me. . . set my work back hours. . . for a drink?”

“Yes!” She was going to kill her sister. “Truly, ‘tis a drink that even a goddess of the night can appreciate! Rich, potent, and filled with caffeine!” Nightmare Moon raised a can from who knows where. It was garish and marked with an electric green hoof mark in the middle.

Daybreaker took a deep breath, rubbing her temples, before letting out a sigh.

‘Murder of one’s sibling is wrong.’

“Sister, I was in the middle of very important paperwork. Thanks to you, I now must restart from the very beginning!” Daybreaker scowled.

Nightmare Moon blinked, her smile faltering for the briefest moment as she looked around at the papers strewn throughout the ground. If she felt bad, it didn’t last very long as she immediately waved a dismissive hoof. “Oh please, Sister, you needn’t be so dramatic.” A blue glow enveloped every page on the ground as they flew to the Lunar Empress before stacking themselves haphazardly on the table. “See? All fixed.”

Daybreaker’s eye twitched again.

‘Murder of one’s sibling is wrong. Murder of one’s sibling is wrong.’

Nightmare Moon plopped herself down next to Daybreaker. “Now. You must try this! I promise you’ve never experienced anything like this! The entire drink is akin to a bolt of lightning to the brain! As though all of my nerves were on fire- But in the most fantastic way!” Placing the can on the table, she used her teeth to pop it open.

Despite her growing annoyance, Daybreaker leaned a bit closer to inspect the drink, tilting her head as the can hissed. Her interest, however, died as her nose wrinkled from the sharp and sickly sweet scent that came from it. “And pray tell, why would I want to drink something that smells of. . . burnt fruit and wet bits?”

“Ha!” Nightmare Moon laughed, “Your reaction is the very same as mine when I first came upon it. Worry not. The taste, while similar, is much more gratifying. And that’s not all! This- this nectar allows me to keep going far beyond my limits!” She took a sip of the drink. Daybreaker cringed as she saw Nightmare Moon shiver with. . . . pleasure?

‘Murder of one’s sibling is wrong. Murder of one’s sibling is wrong. Murder of one’s sibling is wrong.’

“Why, with this, I could have enough energy to raise the moon and lower the sun in the same day!”

‘Murder of one’s sibling is wrong. Murder of one’s sibling is- Oh to hell with it!’

Daybreaker’s wings flapped to their full length, her mane flaring bright hot flames in irritation at the thought of such a- such a- a sacrilegious idea! “Lower the sun!? Do not say such impossible things, Sister of mine! You will never touch the sun as long as- Why are you looking at me like that.”

Nightmare Moon only smirked as she pointed at the ground. The documents from before were now back on the ground, presumably from the force of Daybreaker’s wings. Not only that, but her teacup was now tipped over. The dark liquid spilling from it and dripping down onto the ground.

“. . .” Daybreaker sighed. Her flames dimming as she sat back down.

“Oh dear, it looks like all your precious work is on the ground. Again~ Why, you’ll need more energy to redo all your hard work” Nightmare Moon brought the can closer to Daybreaker. “And you spilled the tea, Sister! You’ll need something else to drink. Perhaps something with a little kick?”

“I can think of one pony I want to kick right now.”

“Oh come now. Let your mane down, for once. I promise, one sip and you’ll feel the fire of a thousand suns!-”

“I am the fire of a thousand suns!” Daybreaker snarled, ripping the can out of Nightmare Moon’s hold with her magic. She looked at the can for a moment before looking back at her sister. “If I take one sip, will you leave?”

Nightmare Moon simply smiled. “Of course.”

Daybreaker glared at her sister one last time, then slowly raised the can to her lips. She could survive one sip, if nothing more than to get back to work and salvage her time. Besides, how bad could it be? One sip wouldn’t kill her.

Just one. . .

Sip.

KABOOM

The can burst into flames.

“I hate Monster.” Daybreaker spat, wiping her lips clean of any remnants of that disgusting swill.

Her sister laughed, “well, I think it’s positively delightful.”

Daybreaker's eye twitched.

“Nightmare?”

“Yes?~"

“You have precisely three seconds to leave or the next thing I incinerate will be you.”

Nightmare Moon’s laughter turned nervous as she backed towards the door. “R-Right. It was good seeing you, Sister! I’ll just— see myself out-”

Once the door shut behind her, Daybreaker stared down at the paperwork over the room. It would take a while. . . but she could gather them all back up and reread them.

“But first,” she grabbed the teacup from the table and lifted it, “I need to clear my palette of that disgusting concoction. Some nice gray mane tea will put me just-”

Crack

Daybreaker blinked at the crack that had formed in the cup. ‘Huh, it might have occurred when it fell over. Nothing a repair spell can’t fix-’

Crack Crack Crack

SHATTER

The teacup disintegrated into tiny pieces and escaped Daybreaker’s magical hold, falling onto the floor and mixing with the ash from the incinerated papers pile.

“. . . I hate Monster.”

Author's Note

Honestly?

I blame Lucky Seven for this fic.

Hope you all enjoyed my first fic on this site!

UPDATE (10/05/24): Grammar and Spelling Revision, courtesy of TheSmokingGuy!