An Endless Cycle

So by this point you might be wondering why I give the word “friends” a distasteful sneer. To get a good idea why that is, you’ll have to go back to when I first escaped. It’s a little bit long but it kind of helps where I’m coming from. J-Just copy this, well... in your head, and paste it before what I just told you... Yes I know I should’ve said this at the start but-... *sigh* just listen.

Lockheart came bolting out the door in a strait-jacket. Alarms where going off as security and staff where trying to contain everyone who had escaped. Luckily, he was concealed from the mayhem and dashed off into the forest... Oh yeah, and it bloody hurt.

“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Does every branch want to wack me right no-? Ah! Ok fine!”

After 10 minutes of whip-lash, Lockheart made it to a road.

Alright, the first thing I gotta do is get this thing off of me. It’s starting to itch-

“Well hello there! Need a ride?” said a stranger in a cart who was travelling down the road.

Oh no. Social interaction. It’s okay! It’s fine! I’ll just ask.

Lockheart spoke in a very plain tone.

“Uh... yeah... I do! Thanks but could you just-“

“Splendid! Come on in!”

“Uh... wait I-“

“Oh don’t worry old chap! I won’t ask any questions or disturb your privacy in any way! And that includes taking off strait-jackets!”

... Kill me.

Lockheart was bunched up next to a blue stallion in a fine suit and a red tie. He looked wealthy and told about his big house in the hills. Lockheart didn’t care about anything else except for a place to stay and somepony to take off his strait-jacket. And clothes.

He sat awkwardly next to the stranger who was gleaming at him with an intense smile that, for once, made Lockheart uncomfortable.

“Costume party?” he said. “I have to say, it looks riveting! Like the real thing!”

“... Thanks” Lockheart replied. He still accompanied a plain stare.

“ So where are you heading off to?”

“... Somewhere”

“Never heard of that town before. Do you...”

Lockheart zoned out at that point and thought.

If he keeps this up, he’s gonna to do my head in. Is this how ponies socialise? Or make friends? If it is, I’m not enjoying it.

Ugh... alright. I’m a student, ready to learn. I’m gonna have to figure out how to either stop him from talking to me or get more information out of him. Okay... begin.

Lockheart closed his eyes for a second before opening them again.

“And so she said ‘ I don’t think it’s meant to-‘ and the oven exploded!” The stranger started to laugh out loud. “Oh... phew. Gets me every time! So old chap, what’s your name?”

Name extchange. Wanting to move status from stranger to acquaintance I presume. Easy enough.

Lockheart turned his head in a jerking action and gave him a psychotic look.

“You think this is a motherbucking game?!” he shouted, moving his face closer. The stranger now reeled back.

“I-I... no I... I’m sorry I asked.” He replied with a threatened look on his face. Lockheart returned to his position with a blank stare.

Too much aggression. Must be a social negative. Intriguing. I want to know more. Perhaps if I switch it to a more positive position.

Lockheart looked back with a seductive look.

“You can ask me anything you want handsome.” He flashed him a wink. The stranger was now slightly flustered and creeped out.

“No...That’s fine... I’ll just... be here.” The stranger looked out the window, wondering what was going on. Menwhile Lockheart returned to his plain stare at the seat in front of him.

This doesn’t make sense! I supplied a positive comment that was a fact... He is good looking! Maybe I’m missing something. It seems like too much of one side, either aggression or kindness, provides the same outcomes: suspicion and concern. Come on! There has to be a sweet spot! I’m not going to rest until I find it!

Laid back?

“Come on man, I just wanna have a good time.”

“I would rather not.”

Constructive?

“I know you feel insecure! But I assure you! YOU CAN TALK TO ME! IT IS OKAY TO BE AFRAID!”

“T-that’s fine. I’m alright. Thank you for your concern?”

Serious?

“Now you listen to me” Lockheart spoke quietly “It is important for my colleagues to understand your situation.”

“I-I don’t have one. I’m just here to-”

Suave?

“Oh really? Nothing? That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t care”

“What game are you playing at?”

Extreme?

“SEIG HEIL!”

The stranger gave no comment.

After many attempts of trying to achieve the “sweet spot” that resulted in confusion, dismay and brain damage, Lockheart was ready to give up.

Alright... last one... before... I take a nap.

Lockheart opened his mouth. The stranger immediately recoiled.

“S-stop! No more! Just stop talking! I will give you the clothes on my back if you would just shut up!”

Lockheart’s gazed transformed into a face of concern.

“Woah! Hey! Just calm down. Heh. I think I might have gone a bit overboard. I was just teasing you.” He said, bearing a sheepish grin. The stranger, who just finished tying a noose, stopped to face him.

“W-what?”

“Yeah! I was just fooling around. Call it sick humour if you might. My apologies.”

“Right... well... haha! You uh, you sure got me there!”

“Sure did! My name is Lockheart!”

Bingo.

“If I might ask, can you please take off this strait-jacket?”

“Oh... really?”

“Yeah. It really itches. Besides, I don’t need it... for now that is.

“ Right... come over here then.”

The Stranger started to undo the straps on the strait-jacket. Once he had taken it off, he checked his watch and started to frown.

“Oh dear” he said. “Driver! Could you speed up?”

The cart then picked up speed as they crossed a large bridge that gaped over a large valley. It was night time by this point and the floor of the valley was engulfed in darkness. The stranger turned to him with a smile.

“I haven’t introduced myself have I. My name is-“

Lockheart quickly cut him off. “Hold on. That suit I’ve just noticed is smashing!”

“Oh! Thank you! It’s-“

“Really? Cool! Would you mind if a take a closer look?”

“Well... I don’t see why not. I mean, it’s not lik-“

*THWAK*

The stranger fell unconscious.

When the stranger woke up, his suit was missing and he was tied up into the strait-jacket he had just taken off of Lockheart not so long ago. The noose that he had tied, which was attached to the bridge, was now around his neck and pulled tight. On the other side of the cart, Lockheart was now wearing the suit he had stolen and holding the door open.

“Oh hi! I was afraid I would have to kill you in your sleep. This way, you can see my handsome face before you die!” Lockheart gave an inappropriate grin. The stranger on the other hand was mortally petrified.

“W-what is the meaning of this?!”

“I kinda just told you.”

“You can’t be serious! T-this is not funny anymore!”

“Oh I’m ‘dead’ serious... heh... is it funny now? ...Ok I’ll stop.”

Lockheart dragged him out of the cart and over the edge of the bridge by the torso. The stranger noticed teeth marks and blood down the floor of the bridge as if somepony was struggling. Then he noticed that the driver was nowhere to be seen.

Lockheart turned him around.

Oh and by the way... thanks for the suit.”

He pushed him off the edge. The stranger screamed as he plummeted off the bridge before violently being yanked back by the rope. There was an audible crack and it was safe to say that his neck was broken. Having to discard the body, Lockheart decided to cut the rope and drop him off into the valley below. He also pushed the cart off the edge but making sure he collected items of use like food, money as well as a watch before he did so. He then headed off down the road before arriving at a sign:

“PONYVILLE”

“Seems good enough.” He said as he approached the lampposts in the distance.

Authors note: Yeah! a lot of dialogue. I hope it dosen't bother you too much. There's still a lot more to learn from Lockhearts experience in Ponyville to come! Stay tuned.