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                     Born From A Rock                      
                   -by Perfectly Insane-                   
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                 FIrst Day of The Ice Age                  
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FIrst Day of The Ice Age
Rocks.
Boulders.
Crystals.
Gems.
And, hey! Would you look at that: more rocks.
These were the ingredients that made up Limestone’s life, day in and day out. For the foreseeable future, it will be her life. The only difference being that, sooner or later, her parents were going to get too old to work and she would inherit the farm as the oldest sibling. Which meant more responsibility than before.
She would need to start managing the farm’s finances, picking up the slack her parents would usually do, and forfeit the one holiday she had off a year. If things got too bad, there was always the rainy day couch fortune Igneous showed her recently.
Limestone could say a lot of things about rock farming, but damn if it wasn’t lucrative.
It was the main reason they were able to afford Maud getting a Rocktorate and for Pinkie to go off and ‘befriend Equestria’ with a bag full of bits. Just for her to go on and become one of six saviors of Equestria and for Maud to inevitably end up moving to the same town and finding a coltfriend.
Limestone got to hear every detail via the letters Pinkie sent Marble. Every adventure, every friendship problem, every encounter with her coltfriend Cheese Sandwich who she fawned over.
Not that Limestone was jealous or anything; she could get a coltfriend if she wanted to. She just found herself so busy preparing to be in charge of one of the most successful rock farms in Equestria.
Yet there she was, checking the fields for basic gems like a grunt.
“Somepony’s gotta do it.” She whispered to herself, the same way she’d done so many times before. “Might as well be me.”
While the necessary work on the farm was constant, it was all mindless and required as much effort as pushing a bowl full of soup across the table. Which left her with time to think, far too much time. No one to talk to, either. There was Marble, of course; the sister who hadn’t left her. Unfortunately, she was also the sister who never really talked above a whisper. A conversation with her was akin to Limestone pressing her ear against a door while someone sat in the corner and murmured something.
She let out an exaggerated sigh, rubbing the dirt out of her eyes as she peered up at the gray, fog-filled sky she’d spent her entire life waiting to open. The one time it did, that ‘sonic rainboom’ or whatever Pinkie occasionally gushed about, she’d already gone inside and missed it. Not a day went by where one of her many thoughts wondered how things might have changed had she taken just a minute longer to go inside, if she saw the same thing that turned Pinkie into who she was.
Then, Limestone would smack herself and repeat the same mantra she’d told herself each time; there was no point in thinking about what could have been.
The sun, shining brightly but not brightly enough to pierce through the layer of depressed clouds littering the sky above their farm, was halfway to the horizon. Which meant it was roughly time for supper. After Pinkie left and they got older, Father stopped announcing when it was time and just waited for them. It took Limestone a few days to figure out that it always had to do with how far along the sun was, but she felt the tiniest prick of pride when she did.
Looking back on it, it shouldn’t have taken her even that long. Maybe she was just a dumb kid.
Supper was a wordless conversation. Sometimes, Father would ask her if the mining was more plentiful than usual, and she’d answer. That was the extent of what they discussed. Marble said a lot with just her eyes and body language, not that their parents ever bothered to pick up on it.
Limestone could tell at a glance if something was on her mind; if her sister was more angsty than normal, or if she was more upbeat. The latter was always because it was the day when Pinkie’s letter would come in. Like Limestone, Marble had read every book in The Pie Family household at least twice over to better understand the outside world. For Limestone, they were a way to pass time.
Time.
The thing she had far too much of, and yet it never, ever seemed like enough.
“Limestone, supper!”
She flipped over her umpteenth rock, sighing as she heard the voice of her mother.
“Finally.”
She made her way to the glorified shack she called a home, not even a gust of wind from the disgrace of a windmill they owned.
Dinner was, surprise surprise, rock soup! A little more soup than rock this time around, but that was about as much variety as she’d started to expect.
The Pie Family, in their unsworn vow of silence, said nothing at the table.
That being said, Limestone was observant enough to notice the glances between her parents. Which meant one of two things; they were having marriage troubles, which was par for the course, or there was something they had to tell her that they didn’t want to.
It wasn’t their anniversary, so the former wasn’t likely.
With a grunt, Limestone finished her supper, slamming her bowl on the table with a bit more force than usual.
“What? What is it?”
Igneous and Cloudy knew it was directed toward them; Limestone would never talk that way to her sisters.
They exchanged one more glance, and then Cloudy nodded as she adjusted her glasses.
“Limestone, are you aware of The Crystal Empire?”
Limestone raised an eyebrow, crossing her hooves.
“Yeah. I’m depressed, not miserable. What about it?”
“Well, as you know, they’re from an entirely different age; which includes their technology and equipment. Not their techniques, however.”
Igneous lifted his hat, retrieving a piece of paper that he then passed to his wife.
“The Crystal Empire has access to not only their own land, but deposits, veins, and ores all in mines they either created in the past or can create again. Equestria has also had the methods, but never the know-how. With their return, that is no longer an issue.”
Cloudy looked down from her daughter, skimming over the paper and once more adjusting her glasses.
“Ok, that’s cool, I guess. What does that have to do with me?”
“Come now, Limestone. We raised you to be smarter than that.” Cloudy remarked, placing the paper on the table. “The Crystal Empire requires the expertise of a mining family who can use modern methods and has more experience than any other family.”
“Are you…” Limestone scowled, recoiling as realization decked her in the schnozz. She stood up so rapidly her stool fell over, slamming her hooves against the table with a crack. “No way, no fucking way. You know I hate the cold!”
“It’s already set in motion, daughter.”
Igneous spoke for the first time, his voice not raising an octave yet as firm as ever.
“But…how did you…why would they even want us specifically? There’s dozens of other mining families closer to them.”
“Indeed. But there’s only one who has a daughter that’s an element bearer and is close friends with the princess of the kingdom.”
Limestone grit her teeth so hard they nearly chipped.
“Pinkie suggested me?”
“No.” Cloudy stood up, starting to collect the bowls in various states of empty on the table. “She suggested Maud at first, who’s already exploring Equestria. However, for one reason or another, she refused. And so, as the heir to our farm, you have been selected.”
Marble muttered something, so quiet even Limestone could hear it properly.
“Again: why me? Why not one of you two go? You have decades more experience than me!”
Cloudy took the last bowl, making her way to the kitchen as she peered in Igneous’ direction.
“While true, you lack experience and skill in negotiation and trading. We will pass one day, and you will be in charge of all the duties we handle. That includes making sure our relations with others that benefit us remain intact. Considering your relationship with your own blood, this is a field you need much more time in.”
“I...”
Limestone sat down, body trembling as she tried to contain her irritation. If she was half as good with words as the protagonist in her books, she could talk herself out of the situation. Come up with some horseshit excuse for why she couldn’t go.
She was not, however, a charlatan of any kind. That talent went to her sister.
“Can I at least bring some of my books?”
“You may bring whatever you can fit in one suitcase. Your expenses and such will be paid for by the princess herself. Your train leaves in the morning.”
Limestone sighed, picking up the stool and placing it back under the table.
“I’ll start packing.”
Trains were bumpy, and loud, and full of other ponies.
The only thing she liked about them was the fact that no one tried to be social to anyone but their immediate neighbors.. Limestone could go to her own little booth in her own little corner, read a book, and no one would bother her for hours.
Just like home.
Before she knew it, she was in The Frozen North.
The sleek, snow-covered land filled her with more dread than the passage she read in Anger by Steedphen King. Before she even got off the warm train, she felt a shiver go down her back.
As she put her book away, placing her rock in between the pages, she pulled out a coat and three scarves, wrapping herself like a burrito in a desperate attempt to stay warm.
She hopped off the platform, having to shield her eyes from the sheer light from The Crystal Empire. It shone brighter than any gem she saw, it and the ponies who lived there, which were practically see-through. Even the very ground was reflective.
The center, which was a palace of gems and crystals, was a bright beacon in a sea of already glowing lights.
It was colorful, so terribly colorful. There were ponies everywhere, all kinds of different food she could smell. Not a single rock in site.
“Oh fuck me.”

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             The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway             
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The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway
“Hi!”
“Hello there!”
“Nice weather we’re not having!”
It was like living in a town full of Pinkies.
They were so friendly, so upbeat; their teeth had reflections! They waved, tried to make eye contact and conversation, and paying attention to her more than anything else. Limestone had the social experience of an unpeeled grape, but even she knew all the unwanted attention was because of how dull and colorless compared to…well, literally everything in the empire.
If that bothered any of the residents, they sure didn’t show it.
Instead of engaging in agonizing small talk, she pretended not to hear them, and none of them pushed it enough for her to have to pretend not to hear them any further.
Soon enough, she got to the castle; sparkling so brightly it hurt. Each of the four pillars had an entrance at them, none of which were guarded. She guessed if anything got past the massive shield around the city, they’re pretty much already fucked.
There was, however, a single pony sitting in the very center. As orange as can be, wearing glasses, and the beard of a scholar.
He looked like the word ‘dork’ ponyfied.
She approached him, though he didn’t seem to notice as he was reading a book hovering a few inches in front of him.
“Oh I see, thou is for the subject, and thee is for the object. So, like, ‘thou complaineth constantly, I will give thee a hiding?’. Weird example, but ok.” he lowered the book, stroking his beard and pushing the book away. “Gosh, it’s like learning a whole new language.”
“Eh, it’s more like an accent than a language.”
“Agh!”
His magic flickered, the book falling through the air until he fumbled to catch it in his hooves; a bookmark of crystal hearts clacking against the mirror-like ground. Limestone leaned down to pick it up, flipping it to the back just to make sure it was the same on the back.
“You use a bookmark? What, is your memory shit or something?”
“No, I just read a lot of books at once.” the bookmark was yanked out of her grip, placed right in the center of the book. “Can I help you?”
“Depends, are you Sunburst? You’re supposed to escort me to my room.”
“I am. Are you Limestone?”
“That’s what my parents call me when I’m in trouble.”
“But,” he adjusted his glasses, moving the book into his saddlebag without looking normal. “You don’t talk in old Ponish?”
“Yeah? What, did you think I talked like my parents? Who told you that?”
“Rainbow Dash. She said you and your entire family speak in old Ponish.”
“Of course she did.” Limestone groaned, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “What a bitch. No, we don’t all speak like that; mother and father don’t even talk like that anymore ever since we started getting visitors.”
“...huh.” He creased his brow, adjusting his glasses and glancing at one of the entrances. “I won’t forget this. Anyway, I’ll take you to your room. Then Princess Cadance would like to meet with you for lunch and inform you of your duties, and after that you should be escorted to the mines so you can assess what and who you’re working with.”
“I have to meet Cadance? Really?”
Sunburst spun on his hooves, the startings of a scowl forming on his face.
“Princess Cadance. And yes, you do. You’re officially here under the Princess’s authority as an independent contractor; your actions are an extension of hers. You report directly to her for any issues, and you have to meet with her at least once to actually sign said contract.”
“Holy shit, you’re wordy.” Limestone fixed her mane, scrunching her muzzle. “I’m not calling her princess.”
“You’re going to make a lot of ponies mad by not doing that.”
“I piss ponies off by existing; I’ll live.”
Sunburst didn’t say anything, at least not loud enough for Limestone to hear. Many of the guards along the way were the same kind of crystal ponies she saw along the way, though these ones didn’t have that obnoxious, slapped on smile like all the others. Nor did they try to initiate conversation.
Maybe she could just stay inside all day.
“This is your room.”
The inside was as sparkly as the outside, though none of the furniture was made out of crystal fortunately enough. Though they were all frilly and some variant of pink or blue, a little bit of purple maybe.
Like a boon from Celestia herself, the bed was as normal as the one she had back home. Aside from the coloring, that is.
Limestone tossed her saddlebag to the side, jumping headfirst onto the bed and burying herself in it.
“Princess Cadance will be in the dining room. You don’t have to eat but you do have to be there. I’ll come get you when it's time. Until then, do what you wish.”
Limestone raised her head, flipping around to lay on her back.
“What’s for lunch?”
“Dafodill sandwiches with a side of baby carrots.”
“Gross.” She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, bringing her hooves to the sides of her pillow and trying to fluff it. “Got soup options?”
“Probably?” He narrowed his eyes, peering to the side like someone there would give him the answer. “I can ask the kitchen staff. Anything specific?”
Limestone shrugged, raising her head and sitting upright.
“Surprise me.”
And just like that, Limestone was alone once more; accompanied by the sound of occasional hooves scraping against crystal, she tried to ignore it. Tried to listen to the sound of blowing wind right out of her window, placing her forehoof over her eyes and pretended it was dusty clouds.
None of that worked. The bed she was laying on wasn’t quite right.
It wasn’t that it was too hard. In fact, it was quite the opposite; it was too soft.
Her bed at home was only warm and soft in comparison to everything else. It wasn’t comfortable, but she made peace with that eventually. Now that she had something that was objectively comfortable, it didn’t feel right.
She couldn’t relax.
With a groan, Limestone hopped off the bed, pacing a rectangle around it. She scanned the room half a dozen times, trying to improvise a way she could take a nap.
After a minute of growing irritation, she stopped, staring at an empty spot in the room.
“That’ll do.”
Limestone pulled the blankets and sheets off the mattress, placing them gently on the ground. She then grabbed her saddlebag, placing under the pillows to prop it up and placing her head on the pillows. Finally, she wrapped the blanket she was sitting on around herself, rolling in it until she resembled a burrito.
Then, and only then, could she let enough tension ease its way out of her to rest her eyes.
“You…slept on the floor?”
“Yep.”
Cadance sat on her side of the table, tall enough for her head to stand well over the back of her chair. She hadn’t touched her sandwich, instead chewing on a baby carrot and staring at Limestone with a raised eyebrow.
Limestone hadn’t given her more than a peek yet, much more interested in her lentil soup. She gave it a tentative spoonful, not hating it at least.
“Was the bed too hard? It should be the same kind as mine, just smaller.”
“Nah. Don’t worry about it.” Limestone took a drink from her glass of milk, not used to how thick it was compared to the kind she usually drank. “Tell me about the contract. The sooner I get to work, the sooner I can get back home and…get to work, I guess.”
“Pinkie told me you were a workaholic, but is that really all you think about?” Cadance leaned forward, her eyes flickering with something Limestone didn’t quite recognize. “Huh, I can’t exactly get a read on you; that’s new. You’re in the most beautiful city in Equestria, and you don’t want to explore? I can assign you a detail if you’re worried about getting lost.”
“Pfft, please.” she snorted, glancing at the other empty chairs pushed against the table. “I’m not worried about getting lost, I’m worried about dealing with all the ponies along the way. I don’t care how ‘pretty’ your city is if it's spoiled by shitstain civilians.”
The room seemed to get a little colder as Cadance’s smile fell, her horn sputtering to life with magic.
“Keep referring to my ponies as ‘shitstains’, and you won’t have to worry about being in this city for another second.”
A shiver went down her spine, getting icier with every vertebra. Limestone found herself sitting straight in her chair, gripping the edges of the table and squirming in her chair the way she did as a filly when her dad scowled at her.
Limestone swallowed, her chin digging into her neck.
“Understood.”
“Good. Now then, onto the contract.” A piece of paper came out of seemingly nowhere, floating towards Limestone and staying right in front of her until Limestone grabbed it. “These terms are not written in stone. If you want to negotiate something about them, that’s what this lunch is for.”
Limestone let out the pocket of air she’d been holding, burying her nose in the contract until words were all her vision was.
There was comfort in that, at least.
“Why are you paying me so much?”
Cadance was in the middle of her daffodil sandwich when Limestone asked that, pausing mid chew and glancing at her before smiling.
“You read fast.”
“I’ve got nothing but books and rocks on the rock farm, and you can only get so good at smashing rocks.”
“Hm.” She placed the sandwich on a plate, dabbing her mouth with a napkin as her wings flickered at her sides. “Your expertise here is invaluable, and will improve trade relations and the economy of The Crystal Empire in ways no policy I could pass would match. Not to mention Pinkie vouched for you, which is worth more than a dozen letters of recommendation. Second best doesn’t come close to you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know my rocks like no one else. It’s almost like it's my life or something.” Limestone placed the contract back on the table, turning it around and pushing it back towards Cadance. “I don’t want even half as much. Lower it to a fourth and split the rest among the workers, they’ll earn it much more than I ever could.”
Cadance’s eyes widened, bringing the paper over to her side of the table as she brushed it to the side.
“That’s not really feasible, I’m sorry to say.” Cadance took a drink, swallowing much harder than she really needed to. “It took a month to go through all the right channels to get these funds assigned properly. Retracting that and redistributing a lesser amount would take twice that. Reassigning it to the workers would be trivial, but the amount delegated towards you would be very difficult to put elsewhere.”
“Of course it’d be.” Limestone groaned, twirling one of the forks in her grip. “Ok, then how about this; half of my pay is used for any expenses like food, and the other half is sent directly to my family on the farm.”
“That’s…very generous of you.”
“Not generous: minimalist. Can’t waste what you don’t have. It’s how my family raised me, it’s how I’ll raise my foals.”
“You want foals?” Cadance tilted her head, her head jerking back. “You don’t strike me as the motherly type.”
“That’s cuz I’m not. But I need them. Somepony’s gotta run the farm after I’m gone, and its sure as Tartarus not going to be Marble.” Limestone finished the rest of her soup, chugging the rest of her drink and stepping off the chair. “If that’s all, I’d like to get a look at what I’m working with. After that, I’ll give you a list of things I need. Feel free to take all the expenses out of whatever you plan on paying me.”
“Really? I was hoping we could…never mind.” Cadance finished her sandwich, sliding out of her seat and stretching her wings. “Very well. Pinkie said it was best not to question your work ethic. Guards!”
Two crystal guards entered, saluting and standing at the sides of the doorway they came in through.
“These guards will take you to the tunnels. Many of the miners have already stopped, but they’ve been given a one hour break at your discretion. Feel free to use any room you like, they should all be big enough.”
“Thanks, Cadance.”
Cadance furrowed her eyebrows, following Limestone with her eyes as she exited the room.
“You know, I don’t care if you don’t call me Princess, but I do care if you’re rude.”
“I’m not being rude. This is just how I talk.”
“Oh.”
Cadance’s mouth pursed, her muzzle scrunching as she turned back to her table.
Instead of taking the miners up to some stuffy room, Limestone dismissed the guards and descended the tunnels herself. They were old-fashioned, and that was saying a lot coming from her. The wood making up the pillars was older than any kind she’d seen before; the same could be said for the lanterns.
The only relief she got was that it quickly stopped being crystal once she got a few dozen feet underground; things were starting to look familiar at least.
For a moment, she wondered why there was nopony coming to guide her through the tunnels so she didn’t get lost. That question answered itself once she came to a crosscut, with two signs on each one being ‘mining room’ on the right and ‘break room’ on the left.
“At least I don’t have to worry about them getting lost.”
The mining room was worse than she was expecting.
There were no lanterns, for one. Leaving the entire room lit only by the mining helmets of the ponies; of which she could only spot half a dozen. Of course, there was the sound of grunting and clinking as they hit whatever ore they were trying to mine.
Conversations were audible in between the clanks and grunts, talking about anything from what they brought to lunch to how their days were. They were talking as casually as they would on the street, putting minimal effort into the actual mining.
On top of all of that, the lighting was so poor she couldn’t even see anything but where the miners were. If it wasn’t for the fact that her eyes had long since adjusted to the dark, she wouldn’t be able to see in front of her.
“Celestia, give me patience.”
Limestone took a few steps back, snatching one of the lanterns above and bringing it down with her.
“Everypony, stop what you’re doing. Gather in the center.”
She could tell they were glancing at each other from the lights on their helmets, most of them dropping their tools and gathering in what Limestone presumed was the middle of the room. Most of them looked right at her, which meant all of the lights were pointing straight into her retinas.
Very briefly, Limestone was blind. It was nearly a blessing.
“Fuck me. Point those elsewhere or take them the fuck off!”
All of the ponies obliged, one way or another. They either looked away, or took their hats off and placed them on the ground.
“Alright, my name is Limestone Pie; I’m your new boss. Who’s been here the longest?”
“Me, ma’m!”
“Good.” Limestone gestured to the tunnel behind her. “Get the Tartarus out of here and write me up everything we’re mining for in order of value and rarity. If you don’t have that for me by this time tomorrow, you’re fired.”
There was a terse silence, many of the ponies stared at each other; the one who raised his hoof gradually lowered it.
“Go!”
He recoiled, running up the tunnel.
“Ok, now, how are these mining trips organized?”
Another silence.
“Organized?”
Limestone was actually flabbergasted, and she didn’t use that term lightly.
“Holy shit.” She placed a hoof on her forehead so tightly it almost left an imprint. “Gimme that.”
She snatched a pickaxe from one of the nearby ponies, holding it in the light so she could further inspect it. Only to find that it was held together by spit and hope, and that was being generous.
“My god, these tools must be as old as this city. You’ve been using these? Don’t answer that.” Limestone tossed the pickaxe to the ground, watched it tumble to see if it would stay together or not. “I think you might actually be doing more damage than its worth at this point.”
She groaned, running her hooves through her mane as she did all the mental math. It took her longer than it should have. Maud was always better at that.
“Ok, you know what? Here’s what we’re going to do.” Her chest rose and fell, muzzle scrunching as she tried to hold back how irritated she was. “You guys are unorganized, inefficient, and doing more damage than whatever the stuff down here is worth. So, you’re all taking a day off. Your only one ever. Go home, play with your kids, sleep with your wives or husbands, whatever. I’ll do all the paperwork, and tomorrow we’re going to start actually getting shit done, alright?”
She could see a couple of them glance at each other, mumbling filled the cavern-like room they were in.
“Are we…still getting paid for today?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.”
Just like that, they made their way up the tunnel, leaving her alone with occasional bouts of light from the helmets. With a sigh, she went around turning them off, leaving nothing more than the lantern.
Limestone sharply inhaled, blowing out the light in the lantern.
Once more, she was alone in the dark.
Like always.