Conflicted Counsel

Two days.

I can’t stop thinking about it.

Two whole days since Cozy Glow was freed from stone.

Was it the right thing to do? I was one of the propositions most outspoken supporters, but even I had some doubts about me. Equestria was not currently fighting yet another attempt at total subjugation, so that was probably a good sign.

Still, the fact that Cozy was even capable of such a thing was enough to make even the most steadfast guard shiver. The fact that she’d nearly succeeded. Twice.

I sighed. The cocoa in my mug was cooling quickly. School had already let out for today, I just had some paperwork to finish up before I could go home. And here I am, staring outside my office window like I expect the fields beyond to suddenly burst into flame.

I shook my head, turning away from my morbid, ridiculous vision. I needed to stay realistic about this. We knew there was no hope for Tirek, and I saw Chrysalis totally reject the idea of reformation firsthoof.

But Cozy?

She’s just a filly.

A filly that shoved me into a huge, magic sapping vortex to await my inevitable doom, sure. But a filly all the same. She’s so young and she’s still growing. There’s still so much out there for her to learn about the world. About friendship. She’s not some thousand-year old entity, she still has her entire life ahead of her. No matter what she’s done, it’s wrong to sentence her to the same fate we once gave the Lord of Chaos.

Besides, if even he qualified for redemption, certainly she should as well, right?

...

I’ve made that argument a lot in the past month or two, but I know it’s my own redemption at the heart of it. I can’t help but see a bit of myself in her. I never hungered for absolute power the same way she seems to, but the hatred that grew inside me nearly led to Equestria’s total destruction. And even before then, it’s not like I didn’t dream about one day changing the entire land to fit my ideals.

We’re not, or at least we weren’t, the same. I don’t need to be told that much. Our motives, our goals... they may have led to a similar fate, but they were different. Even still, whenever I look at her, flashes of my past self fill my thoughts before I can stop them. Maybe it’s because I know things don’t need to be that way. If I was able to start over, to change myself for the better and find what I was really looking for... Surely, Cozy Glow can do the same, right?

Nothing was scarier to me right now than the answer to that question.

I was about to give up on these lousy papers and get ready to leave, when there was a knock at my door.

“Starlight?”

Sunburst. No surprise, he’s always here later than me. “Yes, what’s up?”

I was prepared for him to pester me about some documents, certainly not for what he said when he cracked open the door. “You have a guest.”

I cocked an eyebrow at the snarky grin he was wearing. Who could possibly be visiting the school right now that Sunburst would be so pleased about?

The deep purple alicorn that strolled inside dressed in regalia answered my question before I could speak it aloud, and I jumped out of my chair.

Silly me, there was only one pony it could be.

“Twilight!?”

“Well, this is certainly a welcome surprise. What brings the ruler of all Equestria to this humble side of the land?”

She rolls her eyes with a smile, and I’m glad my light teasing was taken with good humour. At least that means it isn’t some emergency.

Sunburst had helped me set up a table with some tea, then gave us some privacy. My poor cocoa sat cold and forgotten atop my desk. I wasn’t kissing up to Twilight just because she was in charge of the whole country; she’s been my boss for basically as long as we’ve been friends anyway. No, the hospitality was precisely because she’s my friend. We keep in touch, and see eachother semi-often for business reasons (I am running her school, after all,) but all of us see her a lot less often since she became our new official ruler. Nothing we didn’t expect, but it does call for making the times we do see her as special as we can.

The two of us sit across from eachother, and she takes a sip from her cup. I feel a lot calmer with her around. It’s hardly been half a year, and I feel like she’s grown into her new role quite nicely. “You look taller.”

Twilight groans, “Tell me about it. There must be something about that throne; I feel like I’m getting my attire re-fitted every month.”

We share a laugh. This is nice, but if she’s making a surprise visit then I know there’s another reason she’s in Ponyville. “Really though, what’s the occasion? Something I can help with?”

She practically winces, and I can tell immediately she’s been trying to put this off. It’s not very assuring. With a sigh, she continues, “I really wish I could say I’m simply here to visit some friends, but yes, there is actually. Some business you’ve already had a slight hoof in, as a matter of fact.”

Well now I’m curious. “What is it? I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?”

She’s quick to shake her head. I’m not in trouble at least. “No no, nothing like that. It’s... Well...

“It’s Cozy Glow.”

Of course it is.

I need to hold myself back jumping onto the table. “What!? What did she do? Is everypony okay??”

I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was an outspoken supporter, and neither was Twilight when she said I’d already been involved. During the trials to determine the final decision in the matter, I’d given a thorough testimony. I was her guidance counsellor after all, and current headmare of the school where she executed her initial plans. Again, not to mention when she pushed me into the magic suck-orb. Not to gloat, but it’s possible that without me, she wouldn’t have been freed.

Now I was terrified I was about to regret ever opening my mouth.

Twilight was once again quick to reassure me, with the added assistance of magicking me back to my seat. “Hold on Starlight, it’s nothing like that! She hasn’t escaped and nopony has gotten hurt.” She lifted the tea to my lips, and I drank more than I meant to, a bit dribbling from the corner of my lip. “Just breathe, you’re Starlight-ing,” she added with a smug wink.

I tried to glare at her, but before too long we’re both laughing. I’m almost upset that worked. I take a moment to calm my thumping heart. “Okay, so then what’s the problem? How can I help?”

She takes a glance towards my desk before she answers. Her old desk, I suppose. “You recall, after she tried to erase magic, you and I had a look at her student documents?” I give an affirmative nod. “We weren’t nearly thorough enough with applications. Perhaps I was too trusting. One way or another, she slipped into the system with a fake guardian.”

I frown. I certainly felt responsible for that, considering I was at least partially involved with student applications. We just assumed nopony would lie about that on a form, and we had our hooves full with the foreign students. She never even attended any parent-teacher conferences, come to think of it. The EEA definitely would’ve let us have it for that screw-up if Neighsay himself wasn’t busy changing his tune on other creatures living within Equestria. Not to mention he was as fooled as the rest of us.

Twilight continued, “As soon as we found out the pony she wrote down as her family didn’t exist, we wrote it off as another thing to condemn her for, and left it at that. I suppose we were all still frustrated at what happened, and wanted to move on, but...” she stopped. I waited. “...Once again, we should have been more thorough.”

I tilt my head. I wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but I was all ears.

Twilight’s expression appeared to grow more firm by the minute. I think she was finally getting to the point. “Once she was released from stone and placed into a more... well, ethical confinement, we agreed that one of the first things we should do is locate her parents. Obviously, the first thing I recalled was that she lied about who was taking care of her while she was in Ponyville. However, I thought learning who really raised her would be as easy as asking her. At this point, what reason would she have to lie about it?”

I always did think it was odd that no one stepped forward to claim her after all that happened, even after she was initially placed in Tartarus. My best guess was not wanting the shame or guilt of raising a villainous daughter hanging over one’s head, but my dad never seemed bothered when I came home.

Ahem.

Twilight’s eyes looked tired, and she released an exasperated groan. “I was foolish. It’s been nearly 48 hours. She’s still making up silly stories and toying with us every time we ask her. Each time it’s different. ‘My parents perished in a tragic yovidaphone accident.’ ‘I was taken away from Equestria and raised by dragons.’ ‘They were transformed into teacups.’ ‘The truth is, you’re my mother, Twilight.’ I mean, really?? How stupid does she think I am!?”

“Very, evidently.”

That earned a glare. I coughed and motioned for her to continue.

“Naturally, we couldn’t rely on her testimony, so I’ve had ponies investigating every city and small village across Equestria to find anypony at all who may know about her or where she’s from,” she paused to take what I could only describe as a very angry sip of tea, nearly slamming it back onto the coaster. “Nothing. Not a single creature for miles who even knew her outside of her recent exploits. Nopony who’s even pretending to have raised her has come forward.”

My eyes were wide. Not a single pony? Anywhere in Equestria? Surely they should have found something to point them in the right direction by now, but if what Twilight is saying is true, then this entire search has been one big dead end. Could a pony really leave zero traces of who they are, in particular one as young as her?

Of course, this was Cozy Glow we were talking about.

Twilight was rubbing her brow. “Before you ask, yes, I did already ask the dragons about her. Please spare me from having to recall that embarrassment.” I wasn’t going to ask, though I almost wished I had. Now clearly wasn’t the time, however. “I’m at my wit’s end. It’s almost as if she came into existence just to make a total mess of my school, among other things. But I need to stay rational; there’s zero magical resonance coming from her beyond what’s normal for a pegasus filly, so that’s not possible. There isn’t even a speck of Grogar’s magic left in her.”

Leave it to Twilight to actually give some credence to that theory. Not that I can blame her, considering what she appears to be going through. “This does all sound rough, but how can I help exactly? Any record of her time in the school has long since been archived, but even if it wasn’t, we already know a lot of it was just her lying. Did you really want me to dig that up?”

Twilight shook her head. “It’s not the school that’s going to help me. It’s you. I want you to talk with her.”

I stare at her a moment, then I burst out laughing.

She doesn’t join me.

My laughter dies quickly. She can’t be serious. “You can’t be serious.”

Her troubled expression has returned. I can’t figure out why. “I am, Starlight. I’m not about to claim that you two were close, but I have my reasons. She was one of the first students you had as a counsellor, which is probably the closest any of us has come to seeing her vulnerable. For better or for worse, you were also basically the first of us to learn about her plans firsthoof. I don’t care that you aren’t officially qualified as any sort of therapist or psychologist; she’s chased away everyone we’ve brought to her so far anyhow. I know you won’t have that problem, and I already know you’re an experienced counsellor any which way you slice it. Finally, you, almost more than anypony, vouched for this. For her. I don’t mean to use that against you, but it tells me that if nothing else, you believe in her.”

I sit back, looking towards the ceiling. I need to process this. How can I possibly help? What could I possibly have to say that she’d be willing to listen to? Sure, she came to my office once or twice for friendship advice, but that doesn’t mean I was any less manipulated than everypony else. I wasn’t able to convince a couple of stubborn changelings to join the rest of their kin when redemption was staring them in the face; what could I do for her?

I suddenly feel a hoof against my shoulder. I look down, and Twilight is there by my side. “I’m sorry to bring this to you so suddenly, but learning about where she comes from could be monumental in getting her to turn over a new leaf. You’re my last hope, Starlight. Please.”

I can hear the desperation dripping in her voice. I know she wanted this too. She felt so strongly that she had failed even weeks after Cozy was sent to Tartarus. This was Twilight’s second chance to do right by her, to teach her about friendship. Real friendship.

I close my eyes. I think about Cozy and myself. I think about why I wanted her released in the first place. I think about the pony I was, years ago at this point. I think about everything I can that will put me in the right headspace to talk to a filly that many have said was too far gone to be reformed.

I release a long sigh. There really wasn’t any way I was gonna say no, but that didn’t mean I needed to be happy about it.

“I’ll be ready by tomorrow.”

Twilight’s beaming smile and hooves around me are almost enough to soothe my nerves.

Almost.