A stream of lost feelings
This was the fourth night in a row Apple Jack had woken up from a dream about Autumn Blaze, and it was the fourth night in a row that she had wished the dream had gone on longer.
The dream was always the same: the pair lay on the Kirin’s balcony upon her cliffside treehouse and watch the valley below, the golden rays of the setting sun illuminating Autumn’s radiant face. The Kirin would always look at her and smile, talking about how beautiful the nature was around her.
It was an exact replica of the pair’s last night at the village together.
The dream would always end the same way.
“You know, you look darn amazin’ in this light” Applejack would say with a soft smile.
“Aww! Thanks! The way the wind of the valley makes your mane flow makes you look real handsome!” She would reply with a big grin. Applejack would blush.
And that's when she always woke up.
The earth pony sighed, and rolled over to her left.
As usual, the sun had just risen over the horizon.
“And… give it a few moments…” she mumbled, closing her eyes in preparation.
The rooster outside her window gave its loud and melodic call.
“Riiight on schedule…”
She did a biiiig stretch as she woke, and got up for the day.
Autumn had started to set in all over Ponyville, and the orange leaves gently falling onto the ground around them had started making big piles which the young foals of the town excitedly played around in.
The aroma of wet leaves, fallen pinecones and crackling campfires had taken over the outside air as it did every fall . AppleJack supposed that's why the dreams had started again. It smelt just like her.
Autumn Blaze lived a long, long way away, and the pair had only spent 3 days together. Her and Fluttershy had stayed for a few days at the village after helping Autumn restore all the Kirin’s voices. Much of the time, Autumn and AppleJack had happily spent time with each other, Autumn excitedly showing her around the village and over explaining everything she saw. AppleJack would respond with stories of her adventures across Equestria and of her family. She loved how excited Autumn would get, her mane bursting into flame when reacting to her tales. Her smile was dazzling, and that laugh. That beautiful, melodic laugh.
She was one of the brightest flames AppleJack had ever met…
But it would never work.
Applejack lived too far away… She had a farm and a world to keep safe… and Autumn had a village to look after.
AppleJack was happy to remain eternally pining.
At least, that's what she told herself.
She opened up her closet and looked at the many identical hats that lined it. Grabbing one at random, she placed it on her head.
It felt… off. Something was inside it.
A Polaroid of her and Autumn Blaze.
AppleJack stared down at it in disbelief. Of all the hats for her to pick? Of course it was this one.
AppleJack remembered it well; the Kirin had excitedly told her that she had been waiting years to finally be able to take a Polaroid with someone again. As she and Fluttershy were about to head off, she agreed to it. Despite Apple Jack’s refusal, Autumn had insisted that the earth pony keep it. She must have put it in her hat and forgotten about it.
And now here it was. In her hoof.
She felt a pang of pain in her stomach.
“Why now?” she groaned, shoving that hat in her face to be in a temporary darkness.
She'd never been one to talk about her deepest emotions; she either ignored them or kept busy to stop herself having time to think about them. But as the harvest season was over, she had considerably less work to do. And with less work meant more thoughts. And more thoughts meant more thoughts of her.
She glanced over at the calendar.
2 weeks until the next big job on the farm…
Everything in equestria was, for now, stable. The chances of her being needed for some huge dramatic quest were very slim.
Her mind was at war with her heart.
She stomped her hoof down on the floor in frustration. After a few moments, she heard Granny Smith calling up from down stairs.
“APPLEJACK! I CAN HEAR YOU CHUNTERING ABOUT SOME DECISION! JUST GO AN’ DO IT, YA HEAR!”
“Darn it…” she grumbled. She knew what she had to do. She knew where she had to go, and she knew who was coming with her.
“Uhm… so… we're going to Kirin Village because you… keep on dreaming about Autumn Blaze…” said Fluttershy quietly as she and AppleJack sat on the train together.
“Eyup. That's the short of it.” replied AppleJack, gazing out the window up at the sun.
“... And………….” Asked Fluttershy expectabtly.
“... And what?”
“What are you… going to do when we get there?
Applejack let out a sigh, resting her chin on her hooves as she stared out the window.
“I'm hopin’ I figure that out before then.”
“Right…” said Fluttershy awkwardly. “This… uhm, this sounds a lot like you… are kind of… uhm… in love with her”
Applejack shut her eyes. Oh how easy it would be to just lie. Or rather, not tell the full truth. But that wasn't really her thing.
“... It does sound like that, doesn't it?” she sighed.
“Is it not that?” Fluttershy tilted her head.
“... I don't know, Flutters.” She said, “I guess I don't really know what it's like to be in love.”
“That's not true?” Fluttershy looked confused.
“You love me, you love your friends, you love your family…. Don't you?”
“Course I do! Love you all to the ends of the earth. But this doesn't feel like the way I usually do… I'll probably… I don't know. I'm just… visiting a friend. That's all.” she said, trailing off as she glanced over at Fluttershy.
Fluttershy shuffled awkwardly.
Applejack smiled.
“Sorry, Fluttershy. Don't mean to unload all of this on to you.”
“No! Nono, it’s ok! I just- I'm not really to sure how to help… I'm not very good when it comes to figuring out emotions… you should have brought Rarity instead…” she said, rubbing her leg awkwardly with her hoof.
AppleJack wrapped a foreleg around her and brought her into a soft embrace.
“Sugarcube… you’re one of the few ponies I even feel comfortable enough talking about this kinda thing with. Rarity would probably be making me plan some big parade to express my eternal love for a pony I only knew for a couple days. I just need somepony to listen. You’re helpin’ more than you know.”
Fluttershy smiled a little, and returned the hug.
“Glad to be of assistance.” she said softly.
The pair sat in tranquillity for a few moments before Fluttershy added:
‘But if she starts singing, I'm going home.”
The pair had arrived in Kirin Village to a warm reception. Rain Shine, the Kirin leader, had welcomed them gleefully, and before they knew it they had been given a guided tour of the whole village. Fluttershy was in awe of the new hanging gardens and all the forest critters that lived amongst the vines. Applejack was impressed at how quickly they'd managed to start cultivating the land in the valley; she guessed it was down to their natural magic. The biggest change, however, was at the fountain in the centre of the village. A roofless stone structure had been built around it. Occasionally, AppleJack would see a Kirin with a blazing mane or eyes march in. A huge stream of flames would burst out of the top, dissipating safely into the air. A few seconds later, the Kirin would re-emerge, looking much more relaxed. Applejack smiled. It must be nice to be able to express emotion like that.
But, during the whole tour, there was one Kirin that Applejack didn't see.
“Uh… Rain Shine?” Applejack asked once the tour had been concluded. “Do you know where Autumn Blaze is?”
“She’s up at her home at the moment! Although she hasn't been down to the village in a few days…” she said, trailing off and looking over to the path that led to her home. Despite this, a smile remained on her face. “Oh Applejack, she will be delighted to see you! She speaks of you often!” she finished. Fluttershy smirked a little and gave Applejack a nudge. Applejack had to repress a smile but failed to stop her cheeks warming up.
“Sh… she does?” Applejack stuttered.
“Yes! All the time! Always talking about how kind, thoughtful and honest you were, always wishing she had got your address so she could write letters, painting you from memory… you know; the usual things that friends do for each other!”
Applejack blinked.
“Th…. Thanks. I'll go see her then. J-Just to… check in” She said, her voice wobbling a bit, and started walking. Fluttershy nodded politely towards Rain Shine and fluttered after her friend.
“Well…” said Fluttershy. “This… is interesting to learn.”
AppleJack had moved her hat over her face as she walked to cover her embarrassed blush. “It sure does…”
“She's been thinking about you just as much as you've been thinking about her.”
“... Eyup.”
“Well, probably a little… uhm, well, I think she may have been thinking about you even more than you think about her.”
“... Eyup.”
“... You think she… you know…” said Fluttershy, nudging Applejack again.
“I don't know.”
Fluttershy rolled her eyes.
“AJ, she's been painting you. From memory.”
“Let's just see what she says, ok?”
Fluttershy sat in a nearby bush as AppleJack tried to build up the courage to actually knock on the door. She sighed sympathetically; she had this problem when knocking on anypony’s door. She couldn't imagine what it must be like for Applejack right now.
The earth pony took a few deep breaths. Nothing to worry about! You already know she thinks highly of you. So why are you scared! You shouldn't be afraid!
She raised her hoof to knock on the door. It hovered there for a few moments.
“JUST KNOCK! ON! THE DOOR!” cried Fluttershy from the bush with a tinge of frustration in her voice.
Applejack growled a little, whipping her head round to shout back at Fluttershy.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M TRYNA’ DO!”
“S-SORRY!” Squeaked Fluttershy. “YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU NEEDED PEER PRESSURING AND I KNOW I CAVE UNDER THAT EASILY AND I KNOW HOW TRICKY IT IS TO KNOCK ON DOORS I HATE IT SO I THOUGHT IT COULD HELP!”
“WHAT!? WE HAVE TO STOP SHOUTING, SHE MIGHT-”
The door swung open.
Applejack turned to see Autumn Blaze launching towards her.
She let out a cry of shock but couldn't get out the way in time. She was pushed to the ground. She stared up at the elated Autumn Blaze atop of her. She could feel the flush grow on her face.
“APPLEJACK! YOU’RE HERE!” Autumn shouted excitedly, her mane engulfing into blue flames, her tail swishing too and fro.
“I… ah sure am…” was all Applejack was able to get out.
God's she was still beautiful.
There were a few moments of complete silence.
Autumn let out a nervous laugh and hopped off, allowing Applejack to stand up.
“Sorry! Sorry, just excited! It's been, what, 4 months, two weeks and seven days? What? Who's counting? Not me! HA anyway! Hi! Hello! How are you? I'm doing well SO well aha anyway uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-” she whipped her head round to look back in her house.
Applejack’s leaned slightly to the left.
It was a mess. Her ear flicked; it looked like it hadn't been cleaned in… a long time. She didn't judge her for it. It reminded her of Rainbowdash’s room when she was going through a rough patch. And much like her Pegasus friend, Applejack would happily help tidy up if asked.
“-hhhhhhhOKAY GIVE ME!” Autumn whipped her head around again to face Applejack. “TWO! MINUTES!” she said, tail wagging excitedly. She shook for a moment and hugged Applejack again.
“I'm SO glad you decided to visit!”
And with that, she zoomed back inside and shut the door.
Applejack was frozen for a few moments, a smile slowly creeping into her face. From the bush, Fluttershy smiled and gave a thumbs up with her wing.
Applejack could hear much commotion coming from inside the house. Tilting her head, she shuffled over to get a view in from the window.
Autumn was doing some rapid cleaning. AppleJack could see her hurriedly sweeping things under the sofa, stuffing papers into drawers and throwing things into a makeshift bin bag.
She really hadn't been expecting company, had she.
Fluttershy shimmied her way out of the bush.
“Applejack?”
“Hmm?” Replied the earth pony, too distracted by watching Autumn clean.
“I'm going to now do what I know you'd do for me.” She said with a nervous little smile.
“What?” She turned her head. “What do you-”
“Have fun! Hehe~”
Fluttershy took off and began flying back to the village.
“Wait! No!? You can't just leave me- FLUTS!?” she called out to her. Fluttershy just waved as she disappeared around a corner.
Applejack groaned. She knew darn well this is exactly what she needed… didn't mean she wanted to do this without her support.
Eventually, the door swung open, and Autumn was standing there, blowing out a flame that was clinging to her mane.
“Hi! Welcome! Come in! Please! Make yourself comfortable! But not too comfortable!” She said, grinning wide and shuffling back.
Applejack took a deep breath, and entered.
Although there was still debris and detritus everywhere, the Kirin had managed to clear the room to a reasonable degree of success. There was, at least, room to sit on the sofa. Applejack smirked a little to herself, hopping onto it.
“I see that you managed to get your sofa from the village!” She said, mostly to herself.
“hmm? What? OH! YEAH! I DID! The villagers helped me! It was SO nice they did it after you left! Said something like, "it was the least we could do after you helped us speak again”, haha! They're so nice and friendly! It's been so nice to actually speak to them again! Honestly, you wouldn't believe the type of stuff that they get up to-”
Autumn Blaze yapped away, and Applejack was absorbed by the speed and tenacity in which she spoke. She found herself slightly hypnotised but how animated she was, and felt the smile once again forming on her face. She was exactly how she had remembered her. A little knot in her stomach which had been there since she was tackled started to tie itself even tighter.
“-and then I said, ‘fourteenth of October? But that's today!’ he didn't find it funny but laughed anyway-” she stopped suddenly as their eyes met.
AppleJack took a moment to snap out of her stupor upon realising she had stopped talking.
“You alright, sugarcube?” she said, blinking a few times to readjust herself to also talking instead of just listening.
“You…” her grin widened as she shook her head.
“Doesn't matter! Hehehe! Anyway! Give me 2 minutes, then we’re leaving!”
“L-leaving? To where!?” Stuttered Applejack. “But I haven't even-”
“We’re going down into the valley! I've got so much to show you that I never got a chance to last time!” She said, leaping up. “Let me just get my things!”
She launched herself up onto her hooves and bounced off the sofa, running out of the room and up the stairs, a tiny trail of excited flames burning at the end of her tail.
Applejack blinked.
She was exceptional.
She sat there, placing a hoof to her cheek. It was burning. Ooohh boy she was in deep.
“I didn't even get a chance to tell her why I was here…” she mused to herself. She looked up at the empty doorway that led to the stairs.
The Kirin was so excited to just see her. She clearly liked her a lot.
Just like AppleJack would be if she saw an old friend.
She didn't need to push it any further… just be happy with where it's at…
Right?
“Now!!” Autumn said to Applejack as they started to trot down the slope into the valley. “There's something REALLY cool to show you! You see that really big tree in the distance there?” she said, motioning towards the distant landmark.
“Yeah?” Said Applejack, moving alongside her.
“Well! Before I tell you about it, I need to ask… how fast are you?”
“Wh… why?”
“Because this is a RACE!”
Without warning, Autumn blazed away, her steps slightly charring the ground beneath her as she sped. Applejack let out a huge laugh.
“If it's a race you want? It's a race you’re GETTIN!”
She sprinted after her, and soon the pair were neck and neck. Leaping through the forest, across brooks and streams, over huge rocks and small critters…
As they returned to the path, still at full speed, Autumn shot a smile towards AppleJack.
Applejack smiled back.
This was normal between good friends.
Autumn Blaze was just a good friend.
Right?
AppleJack took a deep breath through her nose as she kept her eyes closed, taking in the natural world around her.
“Keep your eyes closed… listen to the waterfall splashing down into the river… concentrate on the feeling of the grass on your flank…” said Autumn beside her, much calmer than she usually was. “Take it in… breath… you are part of the valley… and the valley is part of you…”
AppleJack focused on it…
Breathing in through her nose… out through her mouth…
The bonfire and oakwood smell of Autumn Blaze overloaded her senses momentarily, and she shivered.
And smiled.
Autumn Blaze was helping her relax and meditate. She had never tried it before. She would be able to do it back at the farm to try and destress.
Autumn was such a good friend for showing her this!
Right?
“That one… there! Look! A dragon! I think… Maybe a wyvern?
“I don't see it…”
“There! Tails there, spikes going up the neck, then mouth! Come on! It's right there! It's so large and big and cool!”
“... AHA! YES! Yes, I see it now! Wow…”
“Just imagine fighting a beast that size… I don't know what I'd do!”
“Well…”
AppleJack looked away from the riverside cloud watching to look at Autumn. Autumn took a minute but eventually looked over too.
“I've fought beasts before… but never alone. You always need somepony there by your side.”
Autumn looked on, eyes studying her face for a few moments, before a soft smile formed on her face. Applejack mirrored her expression.
The two lay there staring at each other for a few more moments before both looking back up at the sky… both of their cheeks a little red.
This was just… friends liking each other's company and then expressing that through staring into each other's eyes for an extended period of time…
Right?
…
AppleJack wasn't sure if that WAS right.
“-and that's why I decided to stay here instead of going back down into the village.” She said, pointing out at the sun setting over the valley. The sunlight was sparkling over the river, and the golden rays were bathing the pair in radiant light.
“It truly is a sight to behold…” replied AppleJack, staring directly at Autumn. Autumn was too busy looking at the valley to see.
“Even though I love it there, and I'm so glad to have my friends back… this is a more important place to me.” said Autumn softly, tail flicking a bit. Eventually, she looked over at AppleJack who immediately looked away with embarrassment for staring.
“Ahm… real glad you showed me all of this.” She said quickly to try and make the awkward moment pass. “The valley is beautiful. I'm so glad I decided to take the trip to come visit.”
“... Why did you decide to come visit, AppleJack?”
OHHHHHH bbboooyyyyyyyy.
“I…”
AppleJack looked back at Autumn, who was smiling at her.
The sunrays bounced off her horn, shimmering and sparkling like sunbeams on crystal.
She looked just as gorgeous as the last time they had been sitting here, watching the sun set over the valley.
Just like in her dreams…
AppleJack felt the knot in her stomach tighten even further.
The pony had no problems with honesty. But this was a different kind of honesty; being honest with herself.
And that was something she had not yet mastered.
“I'm here…” she said eventually. Her heart was thumping. Autumn’s eyes lit up.
The wind stopped. The rustling of the leaves ceased. For a fleeting moment, it felt like even nature was holding its breath.
AppleJack exhaled, and looked out to the valley once more.
“... I'm here to see a good friend” she said with a smile.
AppleJack knew in her head that it was all just a fantasy. She barely knew Autumn. Autumn was just showing her around her home some more just like she'd do with anypony.
She was a good friend.
Nature resumed itself with bird calls and distant cries from woodland predators.
It was serene…
But something was wrong.
AppleJack couldn't hear Autumn talking.
She looked over to see her, still smiling wide… but she could see her tail starting to light.
“Well, I'm so glad we are good friends!” She said, her smile increasing to an unnatural angle.
“You alright there, sugarcube?” She asked. Autumn seemed to wince at the nickname.
“Yes! So good! I'm amazing, in fact!” She said standing up and looking at her wrist. “oh good GOLLY gosh look at the time? Wow doesn't time just FLY when you're with your friends, right? Anyway, I'm gonna go hit the hay as it were, not that I sleep on hay I sleep on a bed anyway feel free to stay on the sofa ok goodnight BYE!”
She turned around and fled back into the house, entering her bedroom and slamming the door shut.
There were a few moments of silence before Applejack saw blue flames bursting out of her window.
AppleJack, as if she herself had gone into the stream of silence, was speechless.
She looked back out into the valley
The sun had just descended below the horizon. The only light left was the dimming twilight that now surrounded the single pony, sitting on the balcony.
Quietly, she stood up and trotted down the stairs. She passed Autumn's room, and paused.
Silence.
“... night, Autumn…” she said apprehensively.
“Night, AJ!” replied Autumn in an upbeat voice.
AppleJack looked away from the door and continued down the stairs, brow furrowed in thought. She hopped onto the sofa and lay still, staring up at the ceiling.
Autumn had to have just been tired.
She just wanted to rest after a busy day; they had done a lot of walking and running, after all.
Maybe she thought Applejack had come for a huge equestria-wide crisis and was disappointed that she now didn’t get to go on a huge big adventure alongside her…
That had to be the reason. She was just surprised…
Right.
Applejack settled with finality and placed the hat over her face to sleep. She was exhausted, and it had been a long and exciting day.
She was looking forward to spending another day with a good friend.
…
But if it was right…
Why hadn't the knot in her stomach come undone?
Splash.
“Applejack… wake uuupppp…”
“Not now, Apple Bloom…” mumbled AppleJack.
“It's… Fluttershy… and… uhm… there might be… a bit of a problem…”
“Hmm?” Said Applejack, stretching a bit as she sat up and placed the hat on the top of her head, rubbing her eye.
“... Uhm…” Fluttershy avoided eye contact, “Autumn Blaze… she's gone missing?”
AppleJack blinked.
And then the panic set in.
“W-What do you mean!?”
“Well, she was meant to turn up for the general meeting an hour ago… and then, uhm, she didn't, and now, they checked her but all they found was you asleep and no Autumn in her room, so now they, uhm, are all in a bit of a panic and having a big search party.” She said, seemingly all in one big breath.
“No…” mumbled AppleJack, rubbing her hooves against her hair. “No no no this is all my fault…”
Fluttershy tilted her head. “Do you know where she is?”
“No… but I… I did something last night-”
Fluttershy gasped. “did you… tell her?”
“... Well, I told her something.”
“But not what you wanted to tell her?”
Applejack froze.
Fluttershy had hit the nail right on the head.
All Applejack had been doing for the last week was try to convince herself that she just wanted to be friends, and that all of Autumn’s actions had just been as friends.
Wrong.
She shut her eyes.
“... nope.”
Fluttershy let out a little sigh. “D-Do you know where she might be?”
AppleJack shook her head, but had an idea. “Let's check her room. There might be a clue”.
The pair headed up the stairs and entered.
There was a huge portrait of Applejack right above Autumn's bed, as well as a statue made out of twigs and was that a… homemade Applejack plushie!?
Applejack stared in confusion.
Fluttershy let out a little giggle. “Reminds me of Trixie’s caravan.”
“At least Trixie’s caravan is all just images of herself.” Muttered Applejack, her stomach feeling tighter than ever. Her eyes were drawn over to a long scroll of paper on the Kirin's desk. She shuffled over and read the top of the page out loud.
“Autumn Blaze’s 40 step plan to make AppleJack confess…” she said, freezing as she read the last word.
What?
She looked down the list.
It was a tickbox list of Autumn's entire day with Applejack yesterday, from the direct route they'd run to the topics she’d bring up, to the laying together on the balcony. All of them were ticked off… apart from the second to last one. It had been scribbled out, but Applejack could just about make out the words “celebrate with-”
There were tearstains on this part of the paper.
The last one was in a messy scrawl that AppleJack had to squint to read, but once she did she let out a cry of distress.
“Remove the Emotion. Meditate”
Fluttershy had been admiring the stitching on the plush as AppleJack made the unusual noise.
“What's wrong?”
“She… went into the… the stream…”
Fluttershy squeaked.
“Why!?”
“I…” AppleJack looked around at the room, feeling tears swell. “I've screwed this up so bad, Fluttershy…” she said, closing her eyes up and refusing to let the tears come out.
Fluttershy flapped over and placed a wing round her.
“What do you mean?”
“... she went in to not feel the pain of a rejection I didn't mean to give her…”
Applejack looked at the last item on the list once more.
Meditation…
Applejack stood up suddenly, knocking over Fluttershy who scrambled to her hooves.
“Fluttershy, gather some foal's breath and meet me at the big tree at the end of the valley. I know where she is.”
AppleJack was right; she found her just where she thought she would be.
Autumn sat by the waterfall like yesterday in silent meditation. They hadn't moved an inch from the minutes that AppleJack had been watching her from the path.
Every now and again, AppleJack could have sworn that she could see Autumn's face scrunching in pain.
AppleJack took a few deep breaths, and made her way towards her.
“A-Autumn?”
Slowly, Autumn's eyes opened, and she stood up. A faint hint of a smile crossed her face, but she just tilted her head.
“You…” AppleJack choked on her words a little. “You went into the stream, didn't you?”
Autumn nodded, her face expressionless apart from the light scrunching of pain she had said before.
As Applejack approached her, autumn shook her head rapidly, her eyes growing wide as she looked away.
“A-Autumn! Please, I'm… I'm so… sorry...”
Autumn was taking deep breaths as she looked away, clutching her chest with a hoof. As Applejack got closer, the Kirin flung her head back and opened her mouth, seemingly trying to scream… but of course, no noise came out.
Even through the nullified emotions, a single tear leaked out of the corner of Autumn’s eye.
AppleJack winced. This was her fault.
She carefully sat down next to her. Autumn looked over and did the same, head tilted. Her face scrunched again and she looked away.
“I…” AppleJack sighed. “I lied. I lied about the reason I came.”
Autumn didn't move an inch.
“... I came here because I had been dreaming about you all week.”
Autumn shook a little.
“I've… you've been in my head for months now. The way you smell, the laugh… the jokes, your songs… and I came to see… what I really felt…”
The Kirin looked at AppleJack and nodded, pointing at herself. Applejack smiled faintly.
“Yes… I've seen your room, sugarcube.”
Autumn Blaze shook her head, and waved her hoof. She paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to sign what she meant, but ended up just putting her hoof back down and closing her eyes.
Applejack heard Fluttershy approaching behind her, and put out a hoof to stop her from approaching, which the Pegasus of course abided by.
“... I've had a hard time figuring out how I feel, Autumn, and I…” she took a deep breath.
“Fluttershy is here, and she has the foal's breath. N-Now, I don't want to force you into anyth-”
Autumn had jumped up and was now right in fluttershy’s face.
She pointed right at the flower then at herself. Fluttershy was taken aback, even moreso when Autumn placed a hoof on her shoulder, mouthing ‘please’.
Fluttershy squeaked once more and handed over the flower. Autumn shot over to the river, taking a mouthful of the water in and stuck the flowers in her mouth. With a big gulp, she swallowed. She coughed a little as she did.
Applejack watched in bittersweet joy as the Kirin's face shifted through almost every emotion she could think of. First joy, then anguish, then pain, and finally.
Autumn Blaze started sobbing loudly, and fell to the floor, clutching her heart.
“I… I'm SO stupid…” she whimpered. Applejack rushed over and placed a hoof on her shoulder.
“I-It’s ok! Autumn, it's ok! I'm here, and you can talk again!”
“N-No! You don't understand! I couldn't handle it! I thought I'd be all fine and all good and handle it well but I didn't! I wanted YOU to say something so I didn't have to work out how I felt! But then when you called me just a good friend I felt like I was going to BURST and I was going to set fire to the whole village again and then everyone would hate me so I had to do it and silence myself but when I did I regretted it immediately but couldn't face the village-” she started coughing on her tears.
“Hey! S-Slow down!” Applejack said, laughing softly.
Autumn took a few deep breaths, sitting up to face Applejack.
“And then…” her horse wrinkled. “W-When I went into the stream it was the worst… I couldn't feel happy about not having to stress, sad, angry or even FRUSTRATED at how I was! and w-worst of all, I wasn't able to be in love with you! And I-”
She took a sharp inhale of breath, eyes widening, hooves clapping to her muzzle.
“... Fuck.”
She didn't even realize what she was saying until she said it.
Applejack could only smile back at her, raising an eyebrow.
“I think you know exactly how you feel.” She said.
A few moments of silence filled the air before Autumn nodded bashfully.
“Uhm…” she said, blushing and shuffling her hoof, “did you… ever figure out how you felt?”
AppleJack shut her eyes, smiling.
“Well… there's an old family saying…*
Autumn Blaze tilted her head.
“If it looks like an Apple… it smells like an Apple… tastes like an apple… boils like an apple…”
Applejack looked into her eyes, blushing deeply.
“Then it's a gosh darn apple.”
“... But what if it's a pear? Or some sort of other hanging fruit-” Autumn started to nervously ramble, but was silenced by a hoof on her lips. Her eyes went wide.
“It means…”
And she kissed her.
Autumn’s eyes remained wide for a few moments… before she finally returned the action, closing her eyes.
Her hair turned to hot pink flames as the pair kissed.
The knot in AppleJack’s stomach was finally undone.
This was right.
