A First Time For Everything

by Dexter Helix

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Comedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover
Length: 2692

Derpy meets a strange stallion with strange talents, and finds herself in an impossible predicament.

Derpy is clever mare who wants nothing more than to get the respect she deserves in a field dominated by unicorns. She's tried so many times to enroll in the Royal Canterlot Acadamy of Science, but every time, she's rejected before she even makes it to the interview stage. Could a chance meeting with a most unusual Doctor turn her luck around? Will everything go wrong? Or will it be more right than ever?

Published 2012-10-15 05:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-15 05:00:01 UTC

Seeing Things

Derpy sat alone in a library, her face buried in a copy of "Magispectral Chemical Analysis: Advanced Methods, Vol II," accompanied only by a small stack of muffins. The pegasus mare was trying her very best to remain inconspicuous, though it felt as though someone was watching her. Without moving her head enough to call attention to herself, she glanced up towards the front desk. The librarian was reading some sort of magazine... certainly not giving the penetrating stare Derpy was expecting.

Slowly, Derpy glanced to her right. A couple of ponies studying for midterms— neither of them concerned with her. Having intentionally sat herself on the far side of the library, near the wall, she didn't expect anyone to be to her left, but she gave a quick peek in that direction anyway. A grey unicorn stallion was standing quite close, reading over her shoulder. He had dull magenta eyes, and a rusty orange mane.

"Pfahh!" the pegasus uttered, as she nearly fell out of her seat. In trying to catch herself, her arm swung across her pile of muffins, scattering the delicious treats across the table.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," the unicorn said, stumbling backwards in embarrassment, "but I just... um..." he tightened his eyes and shook his head, clearly quite flustered, "But I noticed the book you were reading. That's from Dr. Stock's class, isn't it?"

Derpy gathered up her muffins as she replied, avoiding making eye contact with the pony. "Yes..."

"Oh, strange. I've never seen you around here before."

"I'm uh... I'm a transfer student," She replied, tensing up and giving another nervous glance at the librarian, who still clearly didn't care.

"Transfer? What school could you possibly transfer from to get into a third-year class, here?"

Derpy swallowed hard and started sweating. Who was this stallion? Why was he asking so many invasive questions?

And that expression... He's looking at me like I'm important to him. Like I'm his special somepony. Why is he looking at me like that?

"I— I'm very busy studying, if you don't mind." She murmured dismissively.

The stallion moved in closer, and whispered, "you're not a student here, are you?"

"Shhhhh!" Derpy gave more nervous glances to the librarian.

I can't get caught in here! Not again! Oh, please leave me alone! I just want to read in peace!

"Come on, you can tell me, I'll keep your secret."

"I am a student here," she insisted, "I'm in Dr. Stock's class."

"There is no Dr. Stock," the stallion replied, "I made him up."

Derpy's lip quivered as she realized she had fallen into a trap. "What do you want from me? Are you going to blackmail me? Keep my secret as long as I go back to your dorm tonight? Well I'm not that kind of mare!"

"And I'm not that kind of stallion," the unicorn replied, taken aback by her accusation, "I want you to be a student here."

"Wha— What?"

"I'm a rather well-respected professor, a letter of recommendation from me would get you past the admissions office. Then all you'd have to do is be clever to get in — looks like you'll have no problem with that."

"B— But I'm a pegasus!"

"What does that matter? A mind like yours shouldn't go to waste."

Derpy brought her hoof up to her heart, and blinked a few times in disbelief. "You... Do you really mean it?"

"Absolutely, miss..."

"Hooves. And you are?"

"Dr. Turner," he replied with a most sanguine smile, looking deeply into Derpy's eyes.

Derpy felt strange under his gaze, as though he was staring into her soul. It was like he knew her... cared about her... adored her every feature. It was weird. Still, she couldn't insult him again... Not if it meant turning down an opportunity like this. She broke eye contact with him after a moment and looked down. Hanging from a chain around his neck was a key, with little bits of plastic and metal affixed to it.

"That's an interesting necklace," she remarked, hoping to get the strange stallion to avert his eyes.

"So you can see it!" he remarked, wide-eyed, "Oh, you are so amazing... Let me get you that letter."

With that, Dr. Turner trotted off to some undisclosed place, leaving Derpy alone with her thoughts. Most of them were something along the lines of 'what just happened?' After a short time, he returned, levitating the aforementioned letter in a muddy-red aura. The envelope was sealed with a stamp of wax bearing his cutie mark, an hourglass.

"Just drop that by the Dean's office and you're as good as in," he remarked, "I'm looking forward to seeing you in class."

"In class?"

"Well, of course! They wouldn't let me call myself a professor unless I taught at least one. Can I expect to see you next semester, Derps?"

"I... Of course. Yes." She took the letter and stuffed it into her saddlebag, along with what remained of her muffin-tower. "I really need to go, now."

Derpy hastily left the library, glancing back at Dr. Turner a few times on the way. He was just standing there, watching her leave, with that same dumb look on his face. His expression seemed to betray a love beyond words— as though they had spent decades together, maybe even longer.

What a weirdo... she thought. Maybe he just looks at everyone like that... But it seemed so sincere... I almost feel like I should know who he is. Like I'm the one who's wrong for not recognizing him.

"Oh, excuse me!" Derpy exclaimed, having just bumped into another pony's flank.

"That's alright, Derpy," replied Dr. Turner.

"Doctor Turner?!"

"Present," He replied, giving the same cheerful smile from before.

"But you were just in the library!"

"... Was I?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, you—"

How did he get here before me? He must have run all the way here! He waited until I was outside his line of sight, and then he high-tailed it to the dean's office. And... Now he's pretending he wasn't at the library? What kind of freak is this guy?

"I what?" the stallion asked.

Derpy sighed. "Never mind."

There's no way I'm going to drop this letter off now. I've already got about zero chance of getting in as it is. The last thing I want to do is go from 'that feather-brained pegasus' to 'that pony who forged a letter of recommendation.' He's not the first racist unicorn to try and drive me away from this school, but he's the first to try such a backhanded means of sabotage. What a scumbag.

Derpy turned around and began walking away from Dr. Turner and the Dean's office.

"Derps, wait up! What? Was it something I said?"

Derpy panicked. Derps? DERPS? That was the second time he's called me that. How does he even know my first name? The pegasus spun around and got right in the unicorn's face. Her lack of depth perception pushed her a bit too far, pressing her nose softly into his, which prompted him to blush.

"How do you know my name? I only told you I was 'Miss Hooves.' Are you some kind of stalker? Some bastard on a committee to keep me out of the RCAS? Who are you and what gives you the right to call me 'Derps?' A nickname? I don't even know you, you sick freak!"

"Sorry D— er... Miss Hooves, I didn't mean to offend you... I..." The stallion seemed just as confused as Derpy was. He scratched his head, looked around, and cleared his throat, not sure what to say next.

What is happening here? It's so weird. Something's wrong, but I just can't place it. This stallion. Maybe he's not messing me around. Maybe that fellow in the library was an impostor. He certainly was strange... stranger than this pony, at least.

"How do you know my name?" Derpy asked.

"I—" The stallion looked down at the floor.

"This isn't a hard question. How do you know my name?"

"We—" He wrinkled his nose, as though he smelled something unpleasant, and then his eyes widened and his bearing shifted significantly, changing almost instantly from a bubbly friendly posture to a defensive one. "Sorry, ma'am, but I read your file. I'm not supposed to tell you, but it's been put on public record; all of us are supposed to be wary of... troublesome applicants."

"Troublesome?"

"Don't take it personally... Just... Individuals who keep coming back, again, and again, and again, and they don't seem to take the hint. So I'll just do you the favor of telling you now. You won't get in. Not without help."

"Help?"

"It doesn't come cheap. A letter of recommendation from me— maybe after years of intern work, or some other kind of favor," the stallion added with a wink.

"Ew..." Derpy replied.

"I meant a bribe. Don't flatter yourself, hon."

"Oh... Well I don't have much money..."

"Then I don't have much help to offer."

"What about intern work? I can do that!"

"You? Interning? I wouldn't even waste my time."

"What? Because I'm a pegasus?"

"No, because you're uneducated. I can get interns at the student labor office all day long, and even the worst of them have more education than you do."

"You should at least give me a chance..."

"Fine then. One chance. You said there was a stallion at the library claiming to be me. Go ahead and fetch him for me, and bring him back to the medical wing. I'll be waiting. Impatiently."

"That's it?"

"If you do that, I'll consider giving you an intern position."

"I'll have him there fast as I can!"

"Just hope for your own sake that it's faster than that."

What a jerk... At least the first Dr. Turner was friendly, even if he was a little too friendly. A lot too friendly. Okay, they were both creeps. But once I've got them both in the same room... I'll know which is the real one. Probably...

She found the stallion she was looking for just outside the library doors. "Dr. Turner!"

"Oh, yes, Miss Hooves?"

"Can you follow me to the medical wing? There's something I need to show you."

"Sure thing, Derps!"

There is was again. 'Derps.' Like both of these weirdoes were my best friends or something. It doesn't make sense. What kind of trouble-applicant file would have a nickname in it?

"Do I get a clue? Oh, can I guess what it is? You know how I love guessing games!"

"Uh... Do I? I don't really know you."

The strange pony twitched a little bit. "You don't?"

"No... I don't..." She stopped and turned to look at him.

There is something so off about him. His eyes. There's a problem with his eyes. Is it the color? No... They're just like they were before. What is it? There's something wrong with you! What is it?

"Are your wings alright?" Derpy asked.

"My wings? ... Derpy, I'm a unicorn."

Derpy blinked a few times in rapid succession and shook her head. "Yes... Of course you are. Weird. Come on. The medical wing is this way."

The stallion continued to follow her, looking a little dazed. She was definitely not making a great impression today. Coming off as a little crazy, even.

Crazy... Maybe I am crazy. I've seen two identical stallions today. Or... the same stallion in two places at once.

The Southeast door to the medical wing was propped open, and Derpy spotted the other Dr. Turner in a window on the second floor. She glanced back at the one in her company, just to make sure he was still there.

This is too weird. I don't have much time left. I've got to figure out which one of these stallions I trust more. Or... Why I should trust either one of them...

"Dr. Turner, how did you know my first name?"

His response was quite the same as that of the other Turner. "I— We—"

Derpy gave him some time to formulate an answer, but one never came. He kept stumbling and stuttering. He couldn't explain it.

"Dr. Turner, if you have no idea who I am, and we've never met before today, why did you write me a letter of recommendation?"

"A letter of recommendation?"

"Yes, to give to the dean," she replied, rounding the top of the stairs.

"Derpy, I never wrote you a letter of recommendation."

Derpy sighed and glanced down the hall, spotting another open door.

"Come on, this way," she said, gesturing towards the door. She walked in first, and he followed close behind.

THWACK. A massive chunk of metal came down and smacked Dr. Turner on the head, rendering him unconscious. Derpy turned, taking note of the second Turner, who had been waiting behind the door, and gasped.

"Come on, get him strapped up there, we need him secure before he wakes up," the more agressive Turner asserted, levitating the unconscious body up against it.

"But—"

"Being an intern means doing what I say. Now help me tie him up!"

What am I doing? I can't do this! This is illegal! Yes, he's a fraud, but there are proper legal channels for this! Why am I helping to tie him up? What's going to happen to him? Oh Celestia, why me? Why am I going through this? What's the right thing to do here?

She pulled the strap around his right forehoof taut with her teeth. "What are we going to do, Dr. Turner?"

"We're going to leave him here. This floor is deserted this time of the year; nopony will be by for a week."

"How could we do that to a pony?!"

"Okay, number one, my interns do not ask me questions under the assumption that I am wrong. Number two, he's not a pony... he's a changeling. A parasitic freak." Dr. Turner said, fishing around the unconscious pony's neck as though he was expecting to find something there.

Derpy's eyes went slightly out of alignment as she watched Dr. Turner search the changeling. This Dr. Turner looks strange too. He has wings. But... He doesn't. Is he black? NO. His coat is grey. He has a coat and it's grey. He doesn't have a coat. His skin is hard and black. And he does have wings. Clear, membraneous ones. He's like a bug. Some kind of strange bug pony. The pony strapped to the operating table is a bug too. What's going on here?

Derpy backed away slowly from the frightful sight before her, until she was just outside of the door. A voice whispered into her ear. "Number three? Run."

She just barely contained a scream as she noticed the pony to her right. Was it the real Dr. Turner? It didn't matter, at least he didn't look like one of those things.

The bug-pony in the room looked back to see Dr. Turner shutting the door. "What?! No!."

Dr. Turner produced a small metallic object from his collar, suspending it in his magical aura, and pointed it at the doorknob. It emitted a strange green light and whiny noise, and in a quarter of a second the door locked and poured smoke from its keyhole. The pony inside, who now resembled Dr. Turner again, was banging at the door and pulling the doorknob, trying to get it to open.

"I welded the lock mechanism internally!" the pony-Turner explained, "But that'll only buy us so much time. Come on!"

Derpy chased after the strange doctor. She wasn't sure where she was going, or if she was even safe with this stallion, but she noticed his necklace straightaway. If she was going to be stuck with one of them, at least he'd be the nice one.

"Where are we going?!"

"Shouldn't say, just follow me!"

CRACK. CRUNCH. As they made it to the stairs, the door down the hall was being beaten down by the changeling. It was already bulging out with each strike and didn't look like it would hold out much longer.