The Day I Learned to hate my choice of freinds
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Misadventures In Equestria
The Day I Learned to hate my choice of freinds
You all know the saying "ounce you gone brony you aint neva goin' back?" no of course not. Only I THOUGHT that. but apperently ounce you wished not to be because two of your best freinds wanted all bronies in the world dead you would want to play for the other team. Hell I did when I wished for it. My good freind Alex Wallace. He shall be know as Wallace because my other freind Alex Hufstetler ( i really butchered that name everytime). Will be Alex. So Alex and Wallace wanted some cool superpowers. Wallace wanted nothing to see all bronies burn in various different ways because to this day i think he is Pinkimena's distant cousin that was adopted. I love how this Family tree thing works. You NEVER know what kind of a psychotic freind I managed to land. He wanted to lynch his little brohter whos 12 years old for watching the show but man is he a real fun guy to be around goofing off in class.
I DIGRESS
So he watched as thousands of bronies died and I was going to tell him there where Pega-sisters but he would wish I was one so he could watch me burn. His logic scares me sometimes.
Moving on to Alex with an H. He wanted to DESTROY the world of My Litle Pony and that is why they are pissed off at me. I told them not to wish for anything but no they did and now we are in the middle of Ponyville being chased by the Solar Guard and I am having a geekin' nerdgasm at what was happening. I WAS IN A FREAKIN" CARTOON. MY LITTLE PONY NON THE LESS!!!
So after a while we ditched the guards and they looked really scary in real life now that I mention it. Next thing we know Princess Celestia was waiting for us in her throne room. I was still having a nerdgasm at what the hell was going on. I kept thinking to myself "SQUEE!! EQUESTRIA NO REAKING WAY!!!" yes i was that excited. pretty soon I realized Wallace was ready to shank me with a spoon and Alex was ready to beat me to death with his shoe. They told me while we were escorted through Canterlot.
So we meet Celestia and NO she does not like bananas. I don't think that the memes are that accurate although she does seem to like pineapples. Go firgure. Luna was present as well. SQUEE! another nerdgasm raced through my body as my hater freinds looked at me like I was clinically insane. I probally was because I was jumpyer then Pinki at a coffe shop. Now the only thing we needed where the Mane Six.
Just like that my greatest geekdum was complete.
As if by MAGIC, Twilight, Pinki, Rarity, Rainbow and Apple Jack showed up. Probally because Celestia thought we were one of Discord's creations and boy was Twilight curious about us. She never shuts up I tell ya. I would rather read the phone book than listen to her nagging questions. SERIOUSLY I WOULD, not really. maybe.
She was asking all about us. She liked me because I was the only one out of the three of us not to cuss her out or make vulgar slurs. So she just cast a spell and litereally zipped their lips. I was impressed. I thought that the guards were going to get throttled when she did that. I have expected Alex H to flip shit let alone Wallace. So when Twilight was satisfied with all one hundred questions (I counted) she simply nodded and Luna began her round of 20 Q's. I didnt think that her Canterlot Voice was that loud!. Blasted my eardrum and made it bleed. Luckily DOC CELESTIA TO THE RESCUE.
If she gives up being a princess when she retires (if she ever does) she would make a great doctor. I didnt feel a thing.
I DIGRESS.
So after all was asked and answer I have expected her to send us to the moon for what both of my freinds did.
It all started when Wallace started to chase somepony around the town while Alex H tried to cause a massive inferno of Twilight's tree-library. He also wrote his name in all of the ponys' houses with his piss.
With all the charges calculated in my head I decided to stop them, By going to the local guard. Who began to immediatly chase all us just because we weren't ponies.
Chances of being sent to the moon: Very likely.
Chances of me turning into a pony so my friends can't call me a horse-fucker?: priceless
So I was ready to piss my pants when Celestia surprised us with two options.
Option one: Banishement...
To the Moon. /)_-
Option Two: Assimilate into pony society and become ponies of our choosing.
The answer was quite obvious.To this day I do not know how the hell they were going to use magic without killing themselves to turn three guys into ponies. So Luna, Twilight, Rarity, and Celestia channeled their magic to make this possible. I dont know about you but at the time I didnt quite consult with my freinds because they didnt have a say in the descion making because Twiilight didn't unzip their lips.
So when the blinding light of blinding was thankfully over I looked shorter and thought "NO freaking way." I asked for amirror and rarity pulls one out of Pinkie's mane and levitates it over to me. Yup I squeed for the 5th time ladies and gentlemen. I was a blaze orange pegasus with mane that looked as if it was ablaze as well my eyes with a tint of blue. I nearly died laughing as I saw my freinds' reactions when they stared at each other. Alex H was a greyish colored pegasus with a black mane and eyes that were black as night. Wallace was something I could not comprehend. He was a black coated pegasus with a bit of pink around the belly ( Pink Floyd conspiracy?) and his eyes glowed green with hatred. Both stared at me with intense hatred as I coniued laughing to death with Pinkie alongside me.
Celestia informed us that we were to learn from the Mane 6 about pony society while Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were to teach us how to use our wings. I am not going to lie I love RD personally so when Alex H lifted a hoof (before he fell on his face) to ask for RD I jumped right next to her and called dibs. Wallace just shook his head disappointedly and we all went out to the train to Ponyville.
LET THE SHENANIGANS COMMENCE!!!
[ Guys this fic was made to be random so that is why most of this will be horribley written just bear with me and I will tell my tale of how pissed off my friends will be when /i]
