The Reapers Discover The Magic Of Friendship
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The Reapers Discover The Magic Of Friendship
The Reapers Discover The Magic Of Friendship
Down in the Hanger of the Normandy spaceship the short haired unshaven Commander Shepard wore his iconic N7 power armor while looking out a window at the vastness of space.
Far away in dark space beyond the horizon of the Milky Way Galaxy there was a massive mechanical cuttlefish like starship, and that ship was one of the Reapers: Harbinger.
Harbinger flew closer towards the galaxy to end the threat of Commander Shepard and continue the cycle of genocide of all spacefaring sapient life to maintain order over the chaos of organic evolution.
But just as Harbinger flew closer to the galaxy, he noticed all his other fellow Reapers were lagging behind, whom were gathered around in a big ball.
"What are you doing?" said Harbinger speaking to them on radio.
"Shh, we're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic on the Extranet." Said one of the Reapers, who's voice sounded like Sovereign.
"You're what?!" Harbinger growled in frustration blasting his horn.
"Harbinger?! Stop sounding your horn!" shouted a Reaper waving his tentacles aggressively at Harbinger.
"We've got far more important things to do than watch that stupid Human made junk."
Many of the Reaper blasted their horns in anger back at Harbinger while others waved their tentacles wildly at him.
"Shut up hater!"
"They are so cute Harbinger! How could you not like them Ponies!"
"How dare you not like Ponies!"
"You no like Ponies?!"
Harbinger roared his horn again in anger at his fellow Reapers.
"Come on we gotta continue the whole cycle of genocide."
There was a brief awkward silence.
"Would Pinkie Pie do that?" said a Reaper turning to the other Reapers.
"No!" said all the other Reapers systematically.
"Have you all gone completely insane?!"
The Reapers blasted their horns angrily at Harbinger.
"No, you're the one who's insane Harbinger!"
"Yeah! From now on no more genocide." All the Reapers blasted their horns in agreement.
"Yes, let us change our wicked ways."
"OK... But what about those who don't like My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, will we do genocide on them?"
Reapers blasted their horns angrily in disagreement with Harbinger.
"No Harbinger! We'll love and tolerate the haters." Many of the Reapers blasted their horns in agreement.
"You've got to be kidding me?!"
"No, we're not kidding. For us Reapers have finally discovered the magic of friendship." said all the other Reapers systematically.
"What has become of you?"
"Now come on Harbinger, just give the show a chance I think you'll like it."
"So I could become an indoctrinated slave to the Ponies like you have?"
"We're not indoctrinated. The Ponies just melted our cold steel hearts, and gave us new hearts filled with sunshine, rainbows and candyfloss."
Harbinger self destructed in a big explosion in response to this.
"Alright, now that Harbinger is dead we must come to the consensus of who is best Pony."
"I think Scootaloo is best Pony." said a Reaper next to him.
"BLASPHEMY!" The Reaper shattered the other Reaper's body apart with a powerful blast of a red laser.
"Well I think Derpy Hooves is best Pony."
Many of the Reaper blasted their horns back in anger at that Reaper, however there was also many that fires lasers into the air as a sign of agreement.
"Nuh-uh, everyone knows Pinkie Pie is best Pony!"
"No way, Applejack is best Pony!"
"No! Sweetie Belle is best Pony!"
"Twilight Sparkle is best Pony!"
"Nope, Rainbow Dash is best Pony."
"Princess Celestia is best Pony!"
"No! Princess Luna is best Pony!
All the Reapers then began to argue with one another while indiscriminately shouting who they thought was best Pony.
One Reaper destroyed another Reaper by blasting it with it's laser, resulting in all hell breaking loose as the Reapers began to fight among themselves by tearing each other apart with their lasers.
Hours later had passed and the Reapers were no longer fighting while they looked at the many thousand dead Reapers that had died as a result of the argument.
"Look at us, we're no better than Harbinger!"
All the Reapers started hugging one another and crying in their grief.
"Let's all sing Pony songs together to truly embrace the magic of friendship and end our wicked ways once and for all."
And so the Reapers happily sang songs together....
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"… and that's how the Reapers discovered the magic of friendship. The end." said Pinkie Pie finishing the last sentence of a red book to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, whom were sat on the floor while gathered around Pinkie Pie, who was sitting on a wooden stool inside their clubhouse.
Apple Bloom raised her right hoof in the air.
"I have a question!"
"Yes Apple Bloom, what is it?"
"Our entire lives are nothing but a TV show?"
"Yes, that's the multiverse for you! Any other questions? Sweetie Belle raised her left hoof in the air. "Yes Sweetie Belle?"
"How are Reapers made?"
"Um, I'll tell you that when you're older. Just know that they don't do that anymore."
"How did the Reapers get here?" said Scootaloo.
A huge pink Reaper just outside the window can be seen carefully walking through the Apple Orchard with dozens of Ponies sleeping peacefully on it's back.
"Oh they made a trans-dimensional portal to access our universe in order to be with us."
"And what are they doing here?" asked Apple Bloom.
"Worshiping us as Gods and protecting us against all those who would seek to harm us."
"Oh."
"But are they truly good now?" said Sweetie Belle.
"They've been with us for a thousand years, I think they've turned good."
"Alright, if you say so."
"Any more questions?" All three Cutie Mark Crusaders raise their hooves making Pinkie sigh in annoyance. "You all have a million questions don't you?" All three nod their heads. "Well... "She stood up off the stool." ask Twilight then."
Pinkie Pie ran out of the clubhouse at lightning like speed.
The End
In the Normandy Bridge Joker looked over with concern at Commander Shepard who rubbed his forehead while groaning in pain.
"Shepard, are you OK?
"What's wrong Commander?" said EDI.
"I'm fine! I just have a strange feeling that something really weird has happened."
Joker raised an eye brow while giving Shepard a weird look.
"What are you a Jedi or something?"
Commander Shepard crossed his arms glaring at Joker.
"Really Joker, you just had to make a Star Wars reference there?"
"That's a bad joke Joker."
"Shut up EDI! At least I tell the odd good joke!"
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At the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy all the Reapers were holding tentacles (hands) while singing Pinkie Pie's Smile Song together.
