Author's Note
This was written and posted to my Ao3 in May of this year (2024), but I thought I'd post it her as well ! :D
Forever
Starlight felt dreadful.
Her surroundings confused her. There was darkness, and there were sounds she couldn’t quite make out. She felt a way that she had for a long time once again, in this strange dreamscape. She was alone. Something within her tried to convince her that she always would be. She had always been fated to be alone, was that right? How could she let down her guard this way? Surely, nopony would really want to be there for her. At least, not always. Not forever. Starlight was alone.
Dread turned to fear. She saw a face, blurred in her mind. Somepony special. Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship, and the pony that had saved her. Was she alone? Would she be? Starlight took a single hoofstep closer, afraid to speak a word. Her mind had yet to tell her whether what she was experiencing was real or not, despite the absurdity of it all.
Twilight said something, though Starlight wasn’t quite sure if her mouth was moving. Her voice sounded so familiar, but a bit off, though she still tried to find comfort within that tone. “Nothing is forever, Starlight,” she told her, and Starlight’s eyes widened slightly with emotions she couldn’t quite describe. She felt like she was shaking, but she couldn’t quite tell. She wanted to ask Twilight what she meant, and why she would say something like that, but she couldn’t get the words to come out, no matter how much she tried.
Twilight reached out a hoof, silently. The two mares had held those hooves, many times, so Starlight tried to steady her breathing, and maybe calm the intense heartbeat in her chest. Starlight had been just about to reach out as well. Twilight was there for her, she tried desperately to convince herself. She would be, always, but Twilight didn’t take Starlight’s hoof gently, as she always had. In a quick and intense shove, Starlight was pushed backwards into darkness off a cliff she didn’t even know she had been standing near.
Starlight tried to scream, at the top of her lungs, but nothing came out. She was falling. Twilight quickly disappeared from her view, and she was all alone, falling deeper and deeper into something, into nothing, into somewhere. She tried to use her magic to stop herself, but it seemed she couldn’t. The effort was futile, and she felt unimaginable fear. Her magic had never been unreachable like that, had it? Loudly, all around her, she heard a voice. The voice sounded concerned, genuinely, and full of true care. It much contrasted everything she was seeing and feeling.
“Starlight?”
Was that Twilight’s voice? What was going on? Was she going to help her? Hadn’t she just pushed her down, though? Perhaps it had been an accident. Starlight once again tried to use her magic, but still, nothing happened.
In desperation, she started almost flailing, trying to grab hold onto something with her hoof, anything. Still, though, there was nothing around her, nothing anywhere. She tried to call out Twilight’s name. She didn’t make a sound. Pure and unadulterated horror filled every last inch of the terrified mare’s body.
“Starlight!”
Starlight’s eyes shot open. As quickly as the nightmare had ended, the memories of it started to fade away. Still, though, the horror that she felt hadn’t quite shaken.
Upon opening her eyes, she was met with the sight of Twilight, looking at her with deep concern. Her purple eyes were an almost instant comfort, even if it didn’t alleviate her feelings completely. The two of them were in bed, where they had comfortably fallen asleep together. Though Starlight didn’t know what time it was, it was clearly still dark. The only thing that illuminated the room enough for her to see Twilight’s face was the tiniest bit of magic she was using as a soft light. “Starlight…you were shaking in your sleep,” Twilight told her softly. “Were you having a nightmare?” Twilight put a hoof comfortingly up to Starlight’s cheek.
Starlight took a moment to steady her breathing before speaking. Twilight didn’t pressure her to hurry up, waiting patiently. “...I did,” Starlight answered. “I think I did, anyway…I can’t really remember it. It’s already getting fuzzy…” Despite that, Starlight still felt a feeling of fear and discomfort and her stomach. Fears clawed at her mind. “...I’ll…I’ll be okay,” she tried to assure her, and even though it made her feel the slightest guilt to say, she couldn’t contain her feelings, “Just…please don’t leave, Twi. Please.”
Twilight’s pupils dilated. She took her hoof off of Starlight’s cheek, instead wrapping it around her, bringing her a bit closer. Her wing unfolded as well, acting as another sense of comfort and security around Starlight. “I’m not going to leave,” Twilight assured her. “I’m always going to be here for you, okay? You don’t ever have to worry about that.”
“...I’m sorry,” Starlight replied. Tears started welling up in her eyes. She tried to fight the part of her brain screaming at her that she didn’t even deserve this type of treatment, after everything. Another part made her feel guilty for even getting so upset like this. She had everything she could ever ask for, didn’t she? So why did she still feel this way? She wasn’t even sure of the exact reason she had apologized. She just felt bad for being the way that she was, just in general. This wasn’t the first time Twilight had had to reassure her like this.
“Please, don’t apologize, Starlight,” Twilight said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s okay to be sad, and it’s okay to be scared. I promise I’m not going to get tired of you, if that’s what you’re thinking, okay?” She knew her so well. That made her feel so loved, but still gave her the slightest tinge of sadness. Guilt was more likely an accurate word. “I love you. I really do. That isn’t going to change. Not now, not ever.”
Starlight stopped herself from saying sorry again. Apologizing for apologizing…that was something she really didn’t want to be doing. “I love you, too, Twi,” Starlight said. She meant it with all of her heart. She could never manage to put into words just how much she truly did, no matter how she tried. Starlight hoped that Twilight could tell just how much she meant to her. Starlight felt her tiredness creeping back up to her, as the pit in her stomach seemed to ease a bit.
“I really always will be here for you, Starlight. I mean it.” Twilight leaned for a moment, giving Starlight the most gentle kiss on her forehead. “It’s going to be okay, I promise you that it will be.”
Starlight tried to let herself find genuine comfort in that. Maybe it all really could be alright, in the end. Twilight was always to make it seem like it could, at least for a little while. There was nopony in the world she’d ever loved that much, not like this, and Twilight loved her back. It felt like a miracle, almost, after everything that she had been through, and she couldn’t be more grateful.
“I love you, Starlight. That’s forever. I swear it to you.”
