It was time for the interview. I was standing in front of the huge gates of Canterlot's main castle, with two serious-looking guards stationed on either side. Both of them looked at me with that professional blankness that seems to be part of their uniform, as if they had been carved from stone. I took a breath and approached.

“Name” one of them said without much preamble.

“Arthur” I answered bluntly.

The guard checked a list and, after a few seconds that seemed to last an eternity, he nodded slightly.

“Go ahead. Follow this main hallway, take the first right, then the second left. They will tell you where to sit,” he said without emotion, as if he had repeated those same words a hundred times a day.

I thanked him with a nod and walked through the huge doors. The air inside the castle was cooler, perhaps because of the stone walls, or perhaps simply because of the solemn atmosphere that permeated everything. The silence here was not the same as in the streets. It was deeper, more… calculated, as if the place was always waiting.

The main hallway I walked through was long, almost intimidating. Tall windows let in the light of the setting sun, casting long shadows on the floor. White marble columns flanked both sides of the hallway, and each step resonated with a soft echo. The decor was minimalist but imposing: dark-colored tapestries with symbols I didn’t understand, statues of heroic ponies, and here and there, paintings depicting important moments in Equestria’s history… moments I didn’t know about, obviously.

I turned right and then, following the guard’s instructions, took the second left. After walking a few more meters, I found myself in a narrower hallway. Along the wall were several wooden benches, and on them, a few ponies sat silently, waiting their turn. Their faces showed a mix of nervousness and tiredness. It seemed like the tension of the whole “event” had taken its toll on them.

Without saying a word, I walked over and sat down on one of the empty benches. The atmosphere here was different from the main hall. There were no large windows, just a few wall lamps that cast a dim, almost cozy light. A door at the end of the hall opened every few minutes, and a guard called out to the ponies one by one.

While I wait for my turn, I take out the pad I bought with the little money I got and start making notes. Ideas come quickly: details about my arrival in the kingdom of laughter, how Pinkie Pie and her “joyful citizens” wouldn’t stop celebrating, and, of course, some quick sketches. I’m not an artist, but I like to doodle what I see. Pinkie Pie with a giant cake on her head, that image won’t leave my mind.

Finally, it’s my turn.

“Arthur”

I get up from the bench and put the pad in my saddlebag. Gulping at the tension that was beginning to form in my chest, the door opened for me, and the guard motioned for me to enter. There was no turning back now.

The interior of the office was more sober than I had expected. There was a large dark wooden table in the center of the room, with stacks of papers organized along the sides. To one side, a bookcase filled with neatly lined tomes took up an entire wall. In front of the table, a single chair. The atmosphere smelled of old parchment and ink. Everything was extremely orderly, as if every detail was perfectly calculated to convey a sense of control.

Behind the table sat a white-furred earth pony, with a dark brown mane pulled back into a bun. Her eyes were piercing but kind, and everything about her conveyed professionalism. There was no mistaking that this was the assistant I had been told about.

“I’m Raven,” she said, bowing her head slightly in greeting. Her voice was calm and confident, as if there was nothing in the world that could disrupt her day. “You’re here for the interview, right? Arthur, as I see on the list.”

“That’s right,” I replied, trying to sound relaxed, even though inside I felt like a mouse in a maze.

She nodded again and looked through one of the papers on her desk.

“Okay, please take a seat. Let’s get started.”

I obeyed, sitting down in the only available chair in front of her desk. The seat was more comfortable than it looked. While she was preparing some paperwork, I took a moment to take a deep breath and calm myself down. This wasn’t one of those life-or-death situations I’d been in lately, but still, I felt a strange pressure.

“Sure, I’m ready.” I smiled, trying to appear confident.

“First of all,” she started with a piece of information that made me even more tense. “I have to mention that out of all the refugees, it seems you’re the only one who made it from Ponyville, so the information you’ll be giving will be very valuable to our investigation.”

So it’s true that I’m the only one who managed to get out? Normally it would be a bad thing, but I think that makes me look more like the tough guy of the show. And the information I’ll be giving will be crucial, ha! I won’t be so useless after all. I’m already getting excited about this interview.

The first few minutes were calm. Simple questions like my full name, my whereabouts before arriving in Ponyville, and what I was doing before the "event." I gave vague answers, leaving out the part about being a human trapped in a pony's body, because I wasn't sure how she would take it, best to leave it for last, after she gets used to the irrationality. Everything was going relatively normal... until we started talking about Pinkie Pie and her kingdom.

Raven's perspective:

Raven, the royal assistant. Loyal, extremely professional, and serious. She takes her job too seriously, even though her support is usually behind the scenes, that doesn't diminish her importance in what she does.

Being a pony with a professional personality, she doesn't beat around the bush, joke around, or generally isn't social at all. She doesn't have to be after all, she just has to do her job properly and that's it. This thought helped her climb her career path to become the princesses' assistant, but it didn't help much in her social relationships.

Even though Equestria shares the friendly idealism, for an assistant, that's not as important as doing the day's job properly, even if it means she doesn't have someone to chat with, this doesn't discourage her. A job well done is as important as having friends or even more important. However, that doesn't mean she doesn't want to have a casual chat from time to time, but when what you've done all your life is based on professional behavior, her communication skills weren't well developed.

Without the basic communication to keep an interesting conversation going, at some point she inevitably ends up with awkward moments of silence. Others tend to avoid her for this reason, in addition to having an intimidating aura that encourages others to only have professional dialogue and nothing more. This led Raven to be cautious and to stay away from others, not only because she has a hard time keeping a casual conversation, but also because she doesn't know how to deal with a dialogue with other ponies, so she can't stand jokes or in general any behavior encouraged by others.

Unfortunately, due to a lack of staff in the castle due to recent events, she was forced to attend and give interviews to the refugees who will share their experiences. She will have to deal with the emotions of others, something she is not used to and does not know how to deal with. At least she'll be able to maintain a calm conversation on her part, which in these circumstances would be adequate to handle the negative emotions of others. It was a sigh of relief for Raven, so she won't have a problem with how she should behave and could focus on giving the interviews. After all, she is a professional and she will do her job diligently, smoothly and calmly as always.

--------

"So, tell me Arthur, how would you describe your experience in Ponyvi-?"

"Kingdom of confetti or laughter if you want to be technical," Arthur interrupted, clearly determined to give a more epic air to his story.

I paused, adjusting my pen on the paper, trying not to lose my composure. "How would you describe your experience in the kingdom of laughter?" I rephrased the question, hoping he would calm down a bit.

Arthur took a deep breath, his eyes shining as if he was about to tell a great feat. I watched him intently, prepared for anything... or so I thought.

“Well, it all started with a party. Actually, with lots of parties, and of course, with Pinkie Pie as the host,” she began, blurting out those words as if they were the most natural thing in the world.

My eyes lifted from my notes, already intrigued. “Pinkie Pie?” I asked. “What do you mean? What did she look like?”

Arthur put a hoof to his chin, clearly enjoying the suspense before blurting out his answer. Then, suddenly, he jumped up in his chair. “A blessed Alicorn! With wings, a horn, super-powered, and an insatiable thirst for happiness and endless laughter.”

My nerves jumped for a moment, barely able to keep myself calm after that statement. An Alicorn? Pinkie Pie too…? The thought flashed through me, and I felt the tension in my mind.

Arthur waited, noticing my reaction, but I just nodded for him to continue, writing quickly. This is getting more serious than I expected...

"As soon as I arrived, I was greeted with fireworks, giant cakes, balloons, and a group of ponies who, according to them, had not stopped celebrating for... I don't know, years, I think. The music, the laughter, the confetti... it was impossible to escape. Literally," Arthur continued in a dramatic tone, as if he were a narrator of his own epic.

I frowned slightly. "Impossible to escape?"

“Yeah, I tried to leave, but every street, every corner of Ponyville was blocked off by some festive activity. It was like Pinkie Pie knew where I would be before I got there, and she always showed up with another cake or a new competition.”

Arthur paused and pulled out a notepad. He handed it to me, showing me a surprisingly detailed drawing of Pinkie Pie, with a cake on her head, surrounded by balloons and confetti.

“This is basically what every moment looked like,” he explained, his voice heavy with exaggeration, as if it were all part of some big absurd comedy. “Parties everywhere. I think I even won a dance competition at one point, though honestly, I don’t even know how anymore.”

I stared at the drawing for a few seconds. This can’t be real, I thought, though the seriousness on his face told me otherwise. “A dance competition?” I repeated slowly, my voice filled with disbelief.

“Yeah, a dance competition,” Arthur stated, as if it were the most logical thing in the world. But before I could even process that, he interrupted again, in the same exaggerated tone. “Oh wait, I got ahead of myself. You should have seen what happened earlier!”

I was having a hard time keeping my face professional. What is he talking about?

“Before the dance competition, I was intercepted by a bunch of ‘Pinki-fied’ ponies. They cornered me on top of a giant cake. Yes, a cake. I couldn’t believe it, but there I was, trapped. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous, some inventor showed up trying to escape, and I… well, I ended up dressed as a robot. Guest of honor, no less.”

“Robot?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. This has to be a joke.

“Exactly, robot.” He nodded, his tone absolutely serious, as if everything he said made complete sense. “And not just any robot costume. It was a costume made out of garbage… and it worked for a while! We managed to fool the ponies at the party. But of course, it didn’t last.” We ended up in a party prison, alongside a donkey who had been condemned for not being happy enough.”

I gulped, the quill slipping from my hooves. This is crazy. Still, I couldn’t help but feel like there was something behind all this delirium.

“After that, we were chained to a magic balloon,” Arthur continued, his voice animated, as if he were recounting an epic adventure. “A giant balloon that automatically returned us to the party every time we tried to run away. It was impossible to escape! We went through balloon-blowing contests, sack races, karaoke… all to entertain Pinkie and her eternally happy citizens.”

I looked at Arthur, trying to maintain my composure, but I was now completely immersed in his story, unable to determine if what he was saying was a delirium or an important revelation about the state of Ponyville.

I set the quill down, taking a deep breath. “So… it was all just a series of endless games and competitions to keep Pinkie Pie entertained?” I asked, trying to grasp at what little logic I could find in all of this.

Arthur looked at me, a crooked smile on his face. “Basically, yes. And let me tell you, Raven, thinking like her was the only way we managed to stay afloat in the midst of all that chaos.”

The weight of his statement rendered me silent. As ridiculous as it all sounded, the way he said it, with that mix of desperation and humor, made me believe there was something deeply real in what he was saying. Maybe, after all, Pinkie Pie has become something much more dangerous than anyone could imagine.

I picked up the pen again. This isn’t just a survival story. This is something more…

I looked at the guy sitting across from me, Arthur Green. I'd heard strange stories before, but this... this was another level. My pen, which had always been steady on my hoof, was shaking a little as I tried to keep a neutral expression. I decided to compose myself, taking a breath to calm myself. After all, it was my duty to document everything, no matter how absurd it seemed.

"So, after all that crazy stuff, what did we do?" Arthur paused dramatically, raising his hooves in overflowing excitement. "We put together a rock band!" His excited tone made me blink, trying to process what he had just said. "We put on a great show, we played like our lives depended on it."

A nervous laugh escaped me, though I quickly corrected myself, regaining my professional stance. I picked up my pen again, though my thoughts were reluctant to return to the usual order. I wrote down rock band... to escape endless parties. I struggled to make sense of this story. “I see… it sounds like you had a pretty… intense experience,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “And… you managed to get out of there thanks to the rock band?”

Arthur let out a laugh and leaned forward as if he was about to tell me an incredible secret. “Well, we actually had to run like crazy after planting life-sized cardboard boxes of ourselves as decoys.” He smiled triumphantly. “It didn’t work for long, obviously.”

“I see…” I muttered, my eyes focused on the paper, though what he was writing was starting to become meaningless. Arthur kept going, though, enjoying every second of his tale.

“And as I ran—obviously bravely, not like a scared little girl—I broke the fourth wall along with Pinkie Pie. Literally. We paused to talk about how this was all too weird. We even watched a movie while everything paused!”

I closed my eyes for a second. I was trying to keep up, but each sentence seemed like another blow to common sense. “So… you managed to escape by taking advantage of that… pause?”

“Exactly!” Arthur exclaimed, as if what he had just said was completely reasonable. “Although, if you think about it, it was more because of the power of rock, general confusion, and of course, a plot twist that no one saw coming.”

I didn’t know what to think anymore. “Sure, a plot twist,” I muttered, while rubbing my forehead with a hoof. This tale was challenging every logical fiber of my being.

Arthur didn’t seem to notice my confusion. On the contrary, he was more excited than ever. He stood up from his seat, raising his hooves dramatically. “But even after all that, Pinkie Pie caught us all, one by one! I was left alone!” His eyes sparkled, as if he were reliving a glorious battle. “And that’s when I understood something crucial.”

My interest was slightly renewed. Finally something sensible? I looked up from my notes. “What did you understand?”

Arthur grinned widely. “The key to beating a crazy, party-obsessed alicorn was… to be just as crazy, unhinged, and chaotic as she was!”

I gulped, feeling like my mind was about to collapse at the ridiculousness of it all. But before I could process his statement, he continued.

“I figured it out on the second day,” he added in a conspiratorial tone. “We tried it with the rock band and it worked! Even when Pinkie put us on hiatus, I used it against her. And in the end, in the final chase, I had to think like her! Jump instead of run, be unpredictable. It was the only way!”

I could feel a part of me, that ordered, logical part, crumbling. This whole tale seemed more like a crazy dream story than an actual experience. But Arthur was telling it with such conviction that I couldn't help but keep listening, even though my common sense was protesting in the back of my mind.

"And wait, wait," he continued, growing more excited. "The final confrontation was outside Ponyville! I thought I'd be safe, but no... I was face to face with Pinkie Overloaded Pie. The final obstacle. One on one."

My eyes went wide. "You went... face to face... with Pinkie Pie?" I could hardly believe what I was saying, but I'd already lost control of the conversation.

"Of course I went up against Pinkie Pie!" Arthur nearly jumped in excitement as he remembered the moment. "And after an epic exchange of words and some mind tricks, I distracted her long enough to escape." He finished his story with a triumphant smile, as if he had just recounted the greatest feat ever accomplished.

I, on the other hand, could only stand there, pen suspended in the air, not knowing what else to ask. I had heard all kinds of stories, but this... this was something else entirely.

"So..." I began, trying to compose myself. "Is that what allowed you to escape?"

Arthur nodded seriously. "Exactly. I did it thanks to madness, chaos, and a good dose of rock!"

I stared at him, mouth agape. Every word he said seemed to defy everything I thought I knew. How could an earth pony take on an alicorn with Pinkie Pie’s limitless power and live to tell the tale? But there he was, Arthur Green, sitting across from me, recounting his story as if it were a simple, everyday anecdote.

“You… managed to defeat Pinkie Pie?” My voice came out in disbelief, almost unable to believe what he was saying.

“Well, yes and no,” he answered, and I noticed how his tone of voice changed, lowering his gaze. He no longer seemed like the same confident Arthur who had been narrating his adventures with a spark of excitement. “Although I managed to escape, I also lost. I lost both of my companions in the process… they were captured. And worst of all, I also lost the fragment.”

I blinked several times, trying to comprehend what he had just said. Fragment? It took me a moment to process it before I asked, somewhat bewildered, “Fragment?”

She tapped her forehead with a hoof, as if she’d forgotten to mention something crucial. “Oh, right! I didn’t mention the shard to you. You see, along with Time Turner we found the source of all that chaos that had infected Ponyville. It seemed to be altering not only the terrain, but the inhabitants as well. It was all connected to a shard that Pinkie had… stuck in her mane.”

I frowned, feeling a mix of curiosity and bewilderment. “A shard?” I repeated, more interested this time.

“Yes,” she confirmed firmly. “It was a long, thin shard, transparent pink in color. It emitted an incredible amount of power and a sort of magical aura that affected the entire place. When we put on the rock show to distract Pinkie and her ‘citizens,’ we took advantage of the confusion to steal it from her.” She leaned forward, her serious expression contrasting with her previous words. “I’m telling you, it was incredibly difficult, but we did it. We managed to get it out of her mane.”

I was now fully focused, my notes filling up quickly. The seriousness of the situation was evident, and what Arthur had recounted went far beyond any account I had heard from other refugees. This was not just another survival story.

“And what happened to the shard?” I asked, trying to remain calm, although a slight urgency crept into my voice. This detail could be key.

Arthur sighed, his expression reflecting a mix of frustration and sadness. “After everything we went through, Pinkie got it back. It was right at the last moment, when we thought we had it made. A twist of fate, and… we lost it. Let me tell you, Pinkie was desperate to get it back. She just wanted the shard back.”

I stayed silent, allowing what I had just heard to settle in my mind. This was not something to be taken lightly. Arthur had revealed information that, if true, changed our entire understanding of what was happening in Ponyville. My emotions fluctuated between shock and growing concern.

“So… a shard… of some kind of powerful magic? And you saw it, had it even?” My voice shook slightly, trying to keep my composure, but aware of the magnitude of what Arthur had just revealed.

“Exactly. And I didn’t just see it, I stole it for a brief moment.” Arthur pulled out his notepad and showed me a drawing. “Here it is.” I looked at it closely. There was a detailed sketch of the shard, along with other images of Pinkie Pie, portrayed in all her overflowing chaos. “It’s this one, the one here in the middle. Though it’s hard to capture the glow it gave off, but I did my best.”

My eyes widened more than I thought possible as I studied the drawing. I could feel the weight of truth in his words. This was something much bigger than any of the other refugees had mentioned. I looked up slowly, trying to hide my shock, though it was nearly impossible.

“This… is incredible. None of the other refugees mentioned anything about a shard.” My mind was still racing, trying to process all this new information. "And you... you faced Pinkie Pie, an alicorn, and managed to come out alive after all this?"

Arthur smiled, but this time his pride was tinged with a sort of resignation. “Well, it wasn’t easy, but yes. Like I said, it was all about thinking like her. Sometimes the only way to beat chaos is to fully embrace it. And it worked… at least for a while.”

I took a couple of deep breaths, trying not to lose my composure. “This is… something I need to report right away. Arthur, what you’ve told me could change a lot of things. Not just about Ponyville, but about Pinkie Pie herself and what’s going on. I must thank you for all this information.”

Arthur shrugged, clearly uncomfortable with the acknowledgement. “Eh, it was nothing. Just another part of my day-to-day life in this crazy world.”

I couldn’t help but smile slightly, though I still felt the impact of everything I had just heard. “Arthur… you’ve been incredibly helpful. I’ll try to process all of this as objectively as possible, but I can’t deny that it’s quite difficult to take in.”

He nodded, seemingly satisfied that I had shared his experience. But as I watched him, I noticed he was frowning slightly, as if he had just remembered something.

“Did you forget to mention something?” I asked cautiously.

Arthur paused before answering. “I’m not sure, but… I have that feeling. Like there’s something important that I missed. But well, I’ll remember it sooner or later.”

I thanked him again, suggested that he could come back again for any further information he might have, and we parted with a quick nod.

I need to talk to the princesses about all the new information as quickly as I can. It might be what we were looking for.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I held, relieved to be done with the worst and by far, overly lively refugee interview for me.

Author's Note

Arthur has his interview where he recounts the events in the confetti kingdom, unfortunately for Raven, she will have to listen to him.

Thanks for reading.