Heya! How y’all hanging out? Name’s Golden Moon, and I’m made of pure energy!
But hey, don’t take it from me! Others have described me many many times before as “an unstoppable rubber ball of a filly.” So yeah, if you happen to spot a bouncy purple earth pony under a blond mane, then odds are, we’ve just crossed paths!
Hrmmm, let’s see, what else? Weeeell, I’m nine (and a half!), I love playing hoofball, and uh, I guess I like cupcakes too?
Oh, also, I’m missing six teeth. How ‘bout that, huh?
Yeah, it’s… yeah. It’s a pretty rough deal any way you cut it. I lost my milk teeth some years ago, and then, some of my adult ones too.
See, I told you I loved hoofball, right? Because it’s true, I really, really do! I have so much bottled-up pep, and I gotta spend it somehow. So, hoofball is my goto activity. I’m pretty darn good at it, and I mean, it’s so much fun! Just, uh, maybe not so much when I faceplant, slide in the mud, and end my course jaw first on a stupid rock!
I ain’t saying that to be funny: That stuff actually happened to me! Uh, early last year, riiiiight in the middle of my Summer vacation. I still blame the landscaper for doing a poor job keepin’ the terrain clean and dandy. It certainly wasn’t my fault I tripped and hurt myself, hrmmfff!
Well. I’m not here to point hooves (although I 100% can’t be blamed for what happened), but the result is still the same: I lost my… what was it Doctor Horse called ‘em? Sounded like “scissors” or something. Arf, no matter. I lost my set of bottom “scissor” teeth. They’re straight up gone. Poof!
It was a mess. The aftermath of my collision, I mean. It was uh, it was bloody. Yucky stuff! I-I’d rather not talk about it. And no, I definitely didn’t cry! I’m a big girl, okay? Big girls don’t cry! If my eyes were leaky, that was just… that was just my eyes being silly. I certainly didn’t order them to bawl out in front of the other foals – how humiliating would that be!?
Big girls don’t cry…
So uh, yeah. After not crying, Miss Cheeriliee took me home to mom and dad, and then, we rushed to the Ponyville hospital. Not my first rodeo there, mind you! Yeah, I also dislocated my shoulder when I was seven after I tried to climb the fountain’s statue. You know, the one in the middle of Ponyville’s plaza? My bestest of best friends, Skippy Brisk, she dared me to do it, said I couldn’t do it, so I did it. And then I fell down. Hey, don’t look at me like that! It seemed like a fun idea at the time!
Heh, mom and dad were so right: I’m totally reckless. They call me “their personal cannonball.” That’s me! I’m a cannonball!!
Um.
What was I talking about just then? Oh yeah! Broken teeth. To the hospital we went!
So, I met with this very nice nurse – Sweetheart I think she was called? A big gal with an equally big heart! I mean, it’s in her very name! She set the scene for me, talked a bunch to keep me calm, and then, they cleaned my mouth real good. They uh, I think they removed the remaining broken bits in there? They had to put this biiiiig needle in my gum to make it all numb and stuff. I hated that and… look, it was not fun, okay? Not my fault if I squirmed like a worm! And I STILL didn’t cry, hrmf!
Weeell, a few hours later, and Doctor Horse had finished the job. He looked sort of relieved, lemme tell you. Not as much as I was, though! I don’t want anypony to put spikes in my mouth ever again, bleh!
Still, that put me in a pretty awkward spot. Sure, my mouth was no longer in a state of total butchery, but that left me prancin’ about for more than a year with a big gap in my teeth. And… and…
It’s not fun. I hate it. I hate it so much! Words cannot describe how much I hate it!
No, it’s not because I have trouble eating. I mean, I did for a while, but that’s no longer an issue. I still have a bunch of other functioning teeth; I can totally adapt!
It’s the other ponies that make me feel a bit self-conscious. Because they stare. Ooooh boy do they stare! With big ol’ surprised eyes.
They don’t even try to hide it! They look at me like I’m a freak. They must be thinking something like: “Gee, how can this lil’ filly be missing so many teeth already at her age? Doesn’t she know that brushing is important?” Okay, for your information, miss or mister, I brush every day! That has nothing to do with my current situation, so shut up already!
Sigh… At least the adults eventually look away and carry on with their day…
Foals, however? Oh, foals are mean. They don’t just stop to stare, nononono… They comment too. And sometimes, they’re being really hurtful about it. I don’t even know if they mean it or not, but it still makes me feel super duper bad.
I’ll be honest… The stares? The comments? The lil’ eyebrow that rises on the face of everypony who takes a good look at my mouth? It kind of stresses me. A little. A lot. I don’t like to be seen as some kind of monster. I don’t wanna be treated differently because I look weird. Living like this sucks. It sucks!!
Know what my solution was? Know what I did to fix this problem?
I stopped smiling.
Now, why’s that, you may ask? Simple! When you smile, it’s easier for you to laugh, right? If you have a big ol’ grin between your cheeks, it only takes a simple “knock knock” joke to send your sides into orbit. And you know what laughing means, don’tcha? Means, oops, all of your teeth are now exposed for everypony in Equestria to see. And this, this is the worst case scenario for me.
I wanna avoid all situations where others get to have a good view of my missing teeth. It’s not worth the risk. So, I don’t smile. I don’t laugh. I keep my mouth sealed shut behind my lips. It’s a horizontal slit between my chin and my snout, and I never curve it upward for any reason whatsoever. My muzzle is permanently closed, forever stuck in a pout.
This has worked fine thus far. Hurray!
Actually, no, not “hurray.” I’m saying “hurray” too quickly, cuz there’s still one problem.
D’y’have any idea how tough it is to make friends when you never smile? Yeah! Turns out, the other foals, they aren’t exactly peachy keen on approaching that one weirdo who constantly looks unhappy. They’d rather hang out with the ones who express joy and stuff.
And with that, I’m left all alone. Well, not exactly true: I still have my loyal friend, Skippy Brisk, by my side. But when she’s not there, I have nopony else to fall back on. All I’m left with are those annoying bullies who are making my life even more miserable than it already is.
Yeah, Diamond Tiara! I’m talking about you, you big meanie! You and that acolyte o’ yours, you can both take a hike! Why do you have to rub salt in the wound? Can’t you see I’m already struggling to fit in with the others!?
I swear to Celestia, these two are always on my case. Diamond Tiara she… she keeps calling me “Gummy Moon.” My name is Golden Moon, not Gummy Moon! Get it right!
And then, and then, she says stupid stuff, like: “If I squeezed your nostrils, d’y’think you could use that huge gap to breathe instead?” And then the other foals laugh. Or, or, or: “You reckon there’s enough space in that hole for you to stick your tongue out, Gummy Moon?” If you must know, yes, I can, I’ve tried it before, but that is SO not the point! That there is just some stupid stuff to say out loud! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Stupid…
It’s like I said: I hate being stuck like this. I hate it so, SO very very much! I wanna be like the other foals. I wanna smile without feeling anxious! I don’t wanna be treated like a museum exhibit anymore! I don’t feel like myself – my TRUE self, you know? I’ve felt “off” for so long, and I just, I just wanna be normal once again…
Maybe I can, though! After a full year of teasing, I’ve finally decided to talk about this to Miss Cheerilee, and then, to mom and dad. They all agreed that for my sake, it would be best if I got some protes- proses- prosestic? Fake teeth. Yeah, fake teeth to make me look like my classmates. Sounds awesome, right?
Weeeeell. There’s a catch.
Mom and dad and I, we returned to the hospital to get an evaluation. Doctor Horse, he checked my mouth again. Then he read my medical file. Then he said it would be best if I was asleep during the operation, given my tendency to flail around on his chair. Pscchhhh, I’d like to see you try NOT to flail when someone has hooves all over your mouth!
But yeah. Being asleep during the “dental implant process” (that’s what the grownups call it). You know what this means? It means, they’re considering using sleep magic on me! They want to forcefully make me fall asleep!
No, no, no, NO, NOOO!!
I don’t want that! I don’t want that ever, ever, ever!!! Why don’tcha take that sleep magic, roll it into a ball, and uh… buck it down a hill? Yeah! Buck it down a hill full of mud and brambles and lasers and lava and ninja robots!
I’m not exaggerating: That, right there? That’s like, my biggest fear ever! Worse than smiling, worse than getting bullied, worse than getting my gums pierced with a needle the size of a Timberwolf. Worse than all of that!
Sleep magic is scary! It’s terrifying, in fact!
I insisted so much that I would take the needle again. I begged, begged, BEGGED… But Doctor Horse had none of it. Apparently, my behavior last time sealed my fate. Mom and dad agreed with this idea, and even nurse Sweetheart sided with the doctor.
Really? You too, Sweetheart? Traitor! I thought we had something special between the two of us… But no. I’m all alone on this one. None of them understood what I was tryna tell them!
So, that’s my current situation: Never make any friends and keep being bullied, or get knocked out by sleep magic. Uuuunngh, come on! I’m only nine (and a half), I shouldn’t be making difficult choices like this one! I should be out, playing hoofball and stuffing myself with more cupcakes!
Oooh, how I wish we could simply, like, brew potions and find a miracle cure that would regrow a foal’s teeth on the spot. How cool would that be? But alas, no such things will ever exist, sigh…
… Han?
Why do I hate sleep magic so much, you ask? Oh, I’ll tell you why! Buckle up, cuz I’m telling you right now!
Okay, so first of all, why wouldn’t it be scary? We’re talking about being forced to not be in control of your own body anymore! That’s like, the scariest thing ever! Kind of a mini version of dying if ya squint hard enough. Think about it! Y-y-you’re giving up control of your free will, and exchange it to be in a state of total vegetation, at the mercy of whatever may occur around you. You’re willingly detaching from your brain – y’know, the very thing that makes you who you are? Why would that EVER be desirable!?
And, okay, I see you coming a mile away with your “but Golden Moon, what about your normal sleep schedule?” Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I still go to bed every night. So, what, I shouldn’t be all too concerned then, shouldn’t I?
Wrong!
I DOfind the prospect of sleeping scary. And yeah, I’m talking about regular sleep, here. That’s right! Maybe less so than before, but I sometimes toss and turn under my blankets, afraid to give up on my consciousness. I don’t want to stop thinking; I don’t want to stop being me. I don’t care how natural a phenomenon sleep is supposed to be!
Don’t believe me? Well, here’s one for ya then: I used to have awful, awful cases of insomnia. I’ve had them since… since as far as I can remember. And yeah, I actually know what the word “insomnia” means! That’s how much of a burden it’s been to me. I’ve always been so, SO scared to close my eyes, and go against my desire to always remain in control. Cuz sleep, it comes when you least expect it. Before you know it, poof, you’re a corpse. It’s the biggest predator we never talk about!
Mom and dad, they even got medicine prescribed for me. “Totally safe for foals,” the apothecary said. But that wasn’t enough. Even when I took sleeping potions on nights where my insomnia got particularly bad, I’ve always tried to fight back against the medication. I wanted to prove that I was stronger than the invisible force that tried to separate me away from a functioning body. I couldn’t help it! It’s just… I couldn’t help it!
Sleep magic, now that’s pretty much my worst enemy. Cuz that there is some strong stuff. Way way way stronger than the pesky potions I had to drink. Sleep magic is a whole level above that. I can’t fight it. It’ll win. That’s the whole point of sleep magic: To win against helpless fillies like me.
And I’ve heard that it happens so fast, too! Apparently, they ask you to count to 10, right? But you never make it to 10. No Sire. That’s their trick for you to keep your guard down. The moment they start casting, you’re already cursed. You’re completely at the mercy of whatever voodoo magic they’re using to turn your body into a lifeless puppet.
Well, I don’t wanna be a lifeless puppet! I wanna be Golden Moon, forever and always! Anything less than that, and it’s a no deal for me! Sleep magic, it’ll just send me someplace else, I can sense it! I can feel it!!
But of course, the adults, they don’t get what I’m talking about. They either think I’m overreacting, or they dismiss my pleas entirely. “Sleeping is a normal function of the body, Golden Moon.” “There’s nothing to be afraid about, Golden Moon.” “If you don’t sleep, you’ll get grumpy, Golden Moon.” Well, I’m grumpy now!!
I’m extremely grumpy! Grumpy to the max!!
Oh, and worst of all? The operation is happening – get this – it’s happening today. That’s right! Today of all days! On the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, which so happens to be hosted in Ponyville for a change. So that means that while everypony is getting ready for the festivities and the arrival of the princess, me? I’m stuck panicking over being magicked to sleep. Ponyville can celebrate, but Golden Moon, oh, she can suffer for all anypony cares!
What were they thinking when they picked such a crappy day? Couldn’t let me go outside and have fun like all the others, noooooo. Had to keep me worried all day on a holiday, just because they could! Well then, lemme just say: Mission freakin’ accomplished! Cuz I don’t think there’s a pony as stressed as I am in Ponyville today!
And you know what’s funny? The nurses, they claimed that they were overbooked as it was, and that this date was my only hope to get my mouth fixed before school started again. Seriously? I mean… seriously!?
Grrr, I don’t think I’ve ever been grumpier before!!
“Are you being grumpy again, Moony?”
“H-huh?”
“You’re thinking about your operation again, aren’t’cha?”
I shook my head and blinked at the pale blue pony who broke me out of my day dreaming. It was Skippy Brisk, sitting on the other end of the teeter-totter. She was stuck in midair, looking a teensy bit annoyed.
I ah, I guess it was my turn to push up, wasn’t it? Err, oops? I should proooobably do sumethin’ about that, as funny as it was seeing her flail. To think that she was a pegasus too, prffft. Maybe she’ll learn the basics of flight one of these days? Gee, I sure hoped so, for her sake.
Alright alright, enough of that. Let’s be a nice filly.
I removed my bumbum from the wooden plank, slowly now, and gravity did the rest of the work. Skippy Brisk regained the floor and joined me to my right before we trotted away from the playground, both of us sort of understanding that playtime was going nowhere. It was supposed to be a good distraction, but Brisky was right: I was still thinking about my upcoming trip to the hospital.
Slowly advancing through Ponyville’s overcrowded streets made me sigh. But not just your typical sigh, no no no! It was a big and heavy sigh, which almost sounded like a moan. Kind of like ‘grooOOAANNN,’ y’know?
“Awww c’mon. Chin up Moon-Moon! It can’t be that bad,” Brisky sympathized.
“Nuh-uh, you’re wrong! It IS that bad! It’s ultra mega bad!” I complained some more. “A-and I mean, look around us!”
My BFF did what I asked of her. If she saw what I saw, then I’m sure she noticed all of the other townsfolk bouncing and skipping. All of them, so gosh darn joyful about making everything super pretty for princess Celestia’s arrival.
“You seein’ this? How everypony is having the time of their lives? How am I supposed to feel when this day, which is supposed to be the best day ever, is actually the worst day ever for me?”
I wasn’t kidding: There were installers installing banners, preparators preparing tables for a grand banquet, decorators decorating every fence they could see with adorable flowers… Look! That pegasus over there on the grassy patch was even making a bunch of birds sing! I dunno what was up with that, but at least, she seemed happy to be doing her part!
Meanwhile, the only part I played was counting the minutes I had left for myself before it was lights out. Two hours and twenty-three minutes, on the dot! See, I toldja I counted! Unnghh, every passing second made me closer and closer to that dreaded deadline. There was nothing I could do about it! I was doomed, doooomed I say!
Eventually, Skippy Brisk stopped looking at the busy ponies passing us by, and instead lowered her neck.
“Well, at least your parents let us chill together before your appointment,” she said, sounding a bit sad. “It’s a shame that I, um…”
She stopped talking. Why did she stop talking?
“Brisky?”
“Eh, nevermind. Forget it.”
“Brisky!”
I put on the brakes, raising a lil’ cloud of dust behind my rear hooves. I wanted to yank the truth out of my stubborn friend! And to that, she gave me an apologetic look, knowing fully well that dodging my curiosity was a no-go.
She bit her lower lip. “I just wish I could’ve made you feel better is all. But you’re still worried, so I failed.”
Oh…
I put a hoof on the back of her neck. “Aaah, I’m sorry. I must be a real pain to hang out with on such a cool day, huh? You could be having fun with the others, but instead, you’re stuck with me and my grumpy mood.”
“N-no! That’s not- Not at all! I didn’t mean-”
“Heh, c’mon Skippy. I’m totally making you feel down. I’m sorry about that.”
“Well… I’m sorry too. That I couldn’t help, I mean. But ah…”
She tilted her head and spotted something behind me. She squinted a bit, and then, she did this weird cunning smirk.
“... Actually, maybe there IS a way I can try to make you less anxious! Look!”
I turned to check out what had captured her attention. Over there were many more ponies doing various tasks to embellish the town. Nothing struck me as particularly odd. Well, there was that big treehouse thingamajig in the back, but surely, this couldn’t have been what she was talking about, right?
My pega-buddy took a few steps forward. “Look, y’see that big tree over there?”
Welp, I stand corrected.
“Yeah?” I raised an eyebrow, not all too sure.
“You know what that is, don’tcha?”
“Nooooot exactly?”
“Oh. Well, it’s a library! A bit of a messy one, but still a library!”
Guh? A library? Boooooo-ring! Ugh, I already hated having to read in school; why would I care for a place that has, like, a gazillion more books? Unless we were talking about comic books – now THAT was my kind of jam!
But whatever. What was the deal with this big leafy house anyway? Why would I care about a stinky library when I was only two hours away from the moment I feared most? Why would ANYPONY care about such a place, for the matter? And most importantly,
“How d’y’know it’s a library, missy?”
“I uh… Well, see, I… I sometimes go there after school. There’s never anypony there. I don’t think they even have a librarian. So I’m left all alone with my books, and I kinda like that quiet vibe.”
I guess I should’ve told you. Skippy Brisk? Major nerd. Well, not really a nerd per say. She’s more like… academically driven, I guess? She takes her school work pretty seriously. Way too seriously, if you asked me! And she always strives to know more. S’why she reads a lot.
A bit unusual for a pegasus, don’tcha think? Maybe that’s why she still didn’t know how to control them wings of hers. If she practiced more and read less, she’d be able to, oh I dunno, jump off playground rides without having to be freed? Ah well.
I raised my shoulders. “Okay, well, how exactly can this library make me feel less anxious?”
“Because- Think about it! There must be a metric ton of reading material about ethereal magic over there!”
“Ether… You mean, sleep magic?”
“Informally so, yes. Look, Moon-Moon, if you’re so scared about ‘sleep magic,’ then why don’t you find books that talk about it? Being made more aware of what’s going to happen to you will surely help to keep your mind at ease, no?”
I rubbed my chin. “Sort of like, knowing about your enemy before a battle?”
“Yes, exactly!” she chirped.
Well. It certainly was an option. I’m not saying it was THE best option, but it was an option. The only one I had, in fact. And uh, while a part of me believed Brisky just wanted to use this as an excuse to cram more book knowledge into her oversized brain, maybe there was actually something worthy to that plan.
I mean, for lack of a better idea, I was willing to give it a shot.
“C’mon then, let’s roll!” I told her, trying to pump myself up.
My bud clopped her hooves together, happy to have found a way to help.
“To the Golden Oak Library!” she chanted.
The Golden Oak, eh? Funny that that dusty-old library shared part of my name. Except it was an Oak, and I was a Moon. Or… something? Ech, whatev’.
Off we went. We bolted toward the Golden Oak until we reached the main door. Rounded, and surrounded by two defunct fire lamps. A bit ominous, but bah! I was courageous. That silly tree had nothing on me!
Weeeell, except,
“I think I can hear voices inside?” I told Skippy Brisk.
“I… I hear them too…” she quivered.
“Didn’t ya tell me that this place was usually deserted?”
“Yes! I’ve never seen anypony inside,” she swore, with her hooves quaking. “M-m-maybe we should leave?”
“Naw. I ain’t lettin’ this plan go cuz there are ghosts chatting inside. Let’s go!”
“B-but Moon-!”
Too late! I barged in. Told ya I was a cannonball!
Okay, well, what I saw was a little unexpected. Though, I can safely confirm that there weren't any ghosts. So there’s that. However, what was present inside of this allegedly abandoned library was a suuuuuper thick crowd of ponies. I tried to do a quick headcount, but gave up when I reached twenty. There must’ve been half of Ponyville crammed into this tight space, that was insane!
So, you understand then that jolting and freezing on the spot wasn’t entirely out of place. Just, the surprise of it all really did a number on me.
Sure were a lot of ponies who could see my broken mouth…
Not good. Noooot good at all. I felt surrounded, and a little bit in danger too. I had to make extra sure NOT to smile. I couldn’t let everypony single me out. Can you imagine if I became the center of attention with THIS BIG of an audience!? Good grief, that’d be too many sets of eyes to deal with! I didn’t have it in me to handle that sort of humiliation. I could already hear the laughs and the “urk, disgusting” echoing in my noggin.
Panic slowly invading my tummy, I looked at my friend, seeking assurance.
But uh… She wasn’t faring any better. Believe it or not, but she had even more asocial tendencies than me. It’s like she said: She loved hanging out in the Golden Oak alone. Now? Her sanctuary had been breached. And not just a small breach too, no! Everypony was hanging out in her crib today. She must’ve felt so out of her element. Poor Skippy Brisk…
“W-w-why is t-there so many ponies in here?” she trembled.
“I… I dunno,” I whispered, looking around. “It looks like they’re preparing some kind of party?”
It’s true: There were a lot of banners, balloons, party hats, and oh! Cake too. Cake was the centerpiece of any party worth their name! And I mean, I loved cake!
To be quite fair, now that the initial shock was wearing off, it looked kinda… fun? Yeah, fun! I loved parties. In theory, at least. It’s always been kind of hard to actively participate in parties when smiling was a big no-no. Not caving in was so much harder when everypony around you was having the time of their life.
You know what? I’d love to smile at parties. That’d be swell!
Just dreaming about this scenario reminded me of our mission and why it was so important. We came here for a reason, and now was the time for action!
“C’mon Brisky, let’s not get distracted here. We’ve got a book to find!”
“B-but it’s so crowded in here, I can’t-”
“What is it that you said to me earlier? ‘It can’t be that bad,’ right?” Once again, I put my hoof on her back. “So let’s do this together, yes? You and me.”
She looked ajar, thinking a bit, then stared back at me, a little more confident now, and nodded positively.
Alright, knew she had it in her! With my faithful ally by my side, it was time to infiltrate this crowd without being spotted. Just like two sneaky spies, hehehe!
We advanced further in, dodging ponies who were chatting loudly. A shelf appeared in our line of sight in the back, behind a dozen adult legs. If this was a game of hoofball, then this would be the goal line!
We crossed under the cloth of a table full of goodies, then swerved around a gray cross eyed pegasus, and then crept between two absentminded unicorns… We were making good progress, and at the rate we were going, nothing could stop-
“Heya there girls!”
Eek!
This loud voice that boomed behind us… I-I think it was addressing Brisky and I.
Just as we popped out of the wall of ponies, we turned around, our hearts having sunk into our chests. Yup, a mare had noticed our lil’ ploy alright. And that mare… wowza, how could I describe her? ‘Pink tornado’ was the best (and only) thing that came to mind.
“Didn’t see you two come in!” continued the tornado. “You came for Twilight Sparkle’s party, didn’t’cha? I mean, of course you did! Surely, you heard about this super epically cool party and thought: ‘hey, let’s go check it out,’ huh? Ooooh, it’ll be so awesome!! There will be cake, and games, and more cake, and possibly more games! Say, while I have you here, wanna help me hook this flag banner on the ceiling?”
I uh…
…
Well! I can safely say that I was no longer the bounciest rubber ball of Ponyville! You’ve got me good, pink tornado!!
By the by, couldn’t help but notice that Brisky withdrew behind me, sooo… I guess that made me the one in charge? Uhhh, alrighty then!
I coughed politely. “S-sorry miss, we err, we only came to-”
“Oh, I’m no miss: I’m Pinkie Pie!” she declared, jumping in a burst of confetti. “But I guess you can call me Miss Pinkie Pie if you prefer. So that sort of makes me a miss, in a way?”
“... Right. Miss Pinkie Pie. I’m, um, my name is-”
“Golden Moon, yup! And that shaky pegasus oughta be Skippy Brisk!”
… Okay, hol’up.
How?
How could she have known our names? Did we meet before, or was she some kind of, I dunno, witch or something?
She giggled at our confused faces. “Hehehe. Nope, it’s nothing like that,” she replied to my inner monologue. “I hang out with Cheerilee sometimes, and she tells me all about her students, so I learned their names by heart! And you looked like a Golden Moon, and you looked like a Skippy Brisk, so my guesses were pretty good, huh?”
“I… suppose?” I hesitated, before shaking my head. “Um, look. We dunno who Twinkle Sparks is. Or whatever. We’re just here to check out a couple of books. Are we… Are we allowed to do this, or is this place, like, closed for the day?”
“Mmmh,” she rubbed her chin, all detective-like. “Weeeell, I’m not the one in charge of this library, so I say, help yourselves out, girls! And hey- Gotta keep your bellies full if you’re gonna flex your brains, so here’s some extra cupcakes from the party, just for the two of you!”
Wah-?? Could it really be? The two creamy objects Pinkie Pie just tossed to us, don’t tell me they’re actually…
Cupcakes!
Yuppidy yup, the dream was a reality! Oh, how I loved cupcakes! So very very much! I go absolutely bananas for those – especially the banana ones. And look, mine just so happened to be yellow! I dunno if it was a coincidence, but hey, I’ll take it!
I looked at my all-time favourite snack sitting in the middle of my hoof. I licked my lips, smiling intensively at the delicious treat, reading to sink my teeth into it, and, uh…
My teeth…
Wait.
WAIT.
‘Smiling!?!?’ ‘Sink my teeth!?!?’
Oh no! Oh no no no no, this couldn’t be happening! I didn’t meant to- I didn’t want to- I never intended to-
ACK!
I curled my lips to hide my disgusting toothy gap, and put a hoof in front for an extra layer of protection. Suffice to say, my cupcake didn’t survive and splattered miserably on the floor.
Despite my best efforts, it was too little too late. Case and point: Pinkie Pie was staring at me wide-eyed! She was SO ready to call everypony to ridicule me for my handicap! A-As if I was the clown this party needed!
She gasped heavily. “Oh my gosh! Did I really just see what I just saw!?”
AAAH, SEE!? There it was! The nightmare! The worst thing ever! The-
“You dropped your cupcake!” she continued. “But that’s okay, I’ve got another ‘nana one with me! Here ya good, Moonie Moon. Ya gotta remember though: Cupcakes go into your tummy, not onto the floor, m’kay? Okie dokie, gottakeepsettingupthepartynowhavefunbyebye!!”
And then she bounced away.
…
Now was Skippy Brisk’s turn to put a hoof onto my back. “Y-You okay there, Moon-Moon?”
“Yeah… Yeah I think so. L-Let’s just get this over with.”
Two stomached cupcakes later, and we finally found a smidge of peace and quiet by the base of a ginormous bookshelf. The other grownups didn’t seem to mind our presence and pretty much left us alone. This was a good thing, because it uh, it gave me a bit of time to breathe. I swear, what had just happened to me, it made my heart ache real bad, dunno why. What I did know, though, is that It was an awful feeling and I didn’t like it one bit.
Sigh… Things could’ve gone better. I guess they could’ve gone worse, too. A LOT worse. I was just happy that Pinkie Pie didn’t make a big deal out of what I accidentally showed her. If only more ponies were like her… But nah, that’s not how it worked. I just got lucky there. Suuuuper lucky!
I needed that book already. The one that could cure me of my fear, or something. Look, I wasn’t the brainiac one here; Brisky was. She probably knew what she was doing.
“Oh, check this one out! ‘Embryonic Development of Griffons!’”
… Probably.
“Ew, put that down, Brisky!” I squeaked, squinting away from the disgusting cover image. “That’s not what we- I mean, do you even know what you’re looking for?”
“Weeeell, more or less. I’m looking in the ‘E’ section, for ‘Ethereal Magic.’”
Yeah, I was letting her do the browsing. Her plan, her dirty work. Plus, she knew the Golden Oak by the tip of her hoof already, so I mean, this only made sense, right?
… Oi stop looking at me like that! I wasn’t being lazy, you were! Grmmbllbll…
“Now what do we have here?” she mused some more.
“Ya finally found the good stuff?”
“Err, not per say. But look at this tome! Doesn’t it look all old and mysterious to you?”
“The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide?” I slowly read what the big bold letters on the cover spelled.
Brisky fluttered her wings and squealed. “Fascinating, isn’t it!? Oooh, just the title alone is giving me goosebumps! I bet there are so many tidbits of knowledge hidden in these pages. I mean, ‘Elements of Harmony,’ Moon-Moon! What could they possibly be, and what purpose do they serve?”
Bleh, should’ve known not getting sidetracked was wishful thinking.
I rolled my eyes. “The only kind of ‘harmony’ I need is in my mouth. Look- Can we focus here? We’re burnin’ daylight, and unless one of those Elements is ‘instant teeth regrowth,’ then this book is beyond useless!”
My bookworm of a friend sighed, saddened that I didn’t share her nerdgasm. She slowly slid the tome back in place, and immediately pulled another one.
“Fiiiiine, here ya go then,” she pouted. “Ethereal magic, all there in text form.”
Huh. Well that was surprisingly quick. Methinks Brisky had already found what she was looking for from the get go, but tried to stall for time. Time we simply didn’t have! I was well aware of her undying love of books, but listen, we had bigger radish to fry here! So without further ado, I placed the tome on the floor, sat on my haunches, and readied myself to… uh…
Oh. T-That cover image.
Yikesaroni, w-what an image! It showed a beam of magic coming from the right, doing a lil’ pink cloud around the head of a sleeping filly. Her brain was highlighted, with weird graphs overlaid on it – math stuff I couldn’t possibly comprehend. B-but it definitely looked creepy! That filly was going to be me! And then, and then stuff will happen in my brain as well!
Urk… I dunno what I expected. B-but no matter. Gotta do the thing, Golden Moon. We’ve come too far to give up now!
I started flipping through the pages at random. I mostly tried to keep to the ones that had a bunch of pictures, cuz walls of text were doing very little for me. Meanwhile, Skippy Brisk was looking over my shoulder, somewhat intrigued by all of this scientific mumbo jumbo too.
But the more pages I went through… The more explicit images I saw… The more definitions I tried to understand… It all helped me realize something preeeetty obvious.
This book? Heh… This book WASN’T HELPING AT ALL!!!
Quite the opposite, in fact! If anything, it made me double down on my fears! I thought the whole point was to become familiar with how sleep magic worked so I could be better equipped to deal with it, but all it did was show me how truly screwed up it really was!
L-L-Look at this! Nerve injuries? Cardiac arrest? What the hay!? I had no idea what these sort of complications even meant, but they sounded mighty dangerous! And more to the point: They actually had a risk of happening!
I wish I didn’t know any of that, but hahaha, nope! Too late! There wasn’t any way to unlearn what I had just learned! Curse you, stupid knowledge! Get outta my head!!
“Errr, everything alright there, Moon-Moon?”
“No! Everything is not alright!” I barked.
“R-Really? Why?”
“Why? Why? This book is full of why’s! Here, listen to this: ‘Somniparalosis: A life-threatening reaction that can occur in patients who are experiencing the inability to wake up from ethereal magic, often due to an incompatibility between their inner magic and the spell used.’”
T’was me parrotting a random example from the book, before shoving it in Brisky’s face, as if she needed more proof. Like, was she seein’ what I was seein’? Was I the crazy one here, or what?
She gently lowered the tome. “Well, sure, but… I-I don’t think you’re seeing the bigger picture, here. Cuz there’s a very low chance of problems like these happening. L-Look, it’s written here, it says-”
“I don’t care! I’ll be the exception that makes the rule, just you watch, Brisky!” I said, cowering behind my hooves. “Unnghh, I was right from the start: Sleep magic IS pure evil! Why can’t anypony else see that? Why can’t anypony else understand!?”
Wuh oh, I was starting to hyperventilate here. Breathing super quickly, imagining a million new ways my operation could go wrong. I felt more vulnerable than ever. I had this intense feeling that everything wouldn't go as smoothly as Brisky and the adults made it out to be, that I somehow would never wake up again, that these were my last hours in Equestria. Or was it minutes now?
… Oh crud! I… I had lost track of time! I had no idea how far ahead my time to go was anymore!
“Okay everypony, chop chop, we gotta pick up the pace!” Pinkie’s voice echoed over the background noise. “It’s already past one in the afternoon, and Twilight Sparkle could show up any minute now!”
One in the afternoon? Did she really just say that?
Gah!! This only left me with less than an hour before my life in Equestria was over!
I slowly trotted backward, as if I was trying to get away from an invisible enemy. That was, until my bum made contact with a tall pantry. I dunno what this thing was doing there, but the collision sure made it wobble. I looked up just in time to see a small bottle fall from its highest shelf. I gasped, right before it bounced between my eyes, only to end up rolling on the floor.
Dangit, ouch!! That stung! Was the whole world out to get me today or what? Sheesh, gimme a break!
I rubbed my forehead, hoping the pain would go away. It didn’t.
“Y-You okay Moon-Moon?” said my worried pal.
“Hunng. N-No. It hurts,” I groaned. “But… I think I kinda needed that.”
Sh’yeah, I really did. Being bonked on the head out of nowhere, it sort of stopped my tantrum. Oh! Kind of like how you’re supposed to be bucked on the leg to, uh, ‘redistribute the pain’ when you have a killer headache. I’ve heard that this trick works, though mom and dad, they don’t approve. Bah! What do they know, huh?
…
Gee, now that I was a bit calmer, I gotta say, it’s been quite the emotional ride, huh? From the moment we realized that the library was full of ponies, to Pinkie Pie noticing my ugly mouth, to this sleep magic book giving me the heebie-jeebies, to getting beaned by a bottle… Things didn’t go exaaaaactly according to plan, to say the least.
And the kicker? T’was now too late to do anything anymore. I promised mom and dad that I’d meet them in the hospital lobby around this time, so I really had to get going already. Didn’t need to get scolded on top of everything!
“You, um, you heard Pinkie, right?” I shyly asked Skippy Brisk. “I think I gotta go now if I don’t wanna be late.”
“Oooh, already?”
“Yeah… already…”
Her wings sagged. Yeah, you and me, bud! I really, really wish things could play out differently, but it wasn’t for me to decide. I was just a silly kid who didn’t know any better, after all! Fate had put me on this terrible path, and there was nuffin’ I could do about it. My destiny was to be magicked into an endless slumber, whether I liked it or not.
With our time in the Golden Oak done, Skippy Brisk tidied up by putting the scary medical tome back into the bookcase. Not a fan of littering, she also picked up the bottle that had literally ‘knocked’ some sense into me. As I stretched and aimed for the entry door, trying to not get noticed by the partygoers once again, Brisky, as curious as ever, couldn’t stop herself from finding more stuff to read.
“Tabasco sauce?”
Heh. Tabasco. Funny word.
“Is that what hit me?” I chuckled a bit, rubbing my head wound again.
“Yeah. 40,000 on the Scoville scale, the label says. Holy moly, spicy!” she whistled, looking left and right. “We ah, we should probably put that condiment somewhere to avoid an accident. I mean, another accident.”
“Sure, whatev’. What about that table over there?”
“Ye, good idea. Nopony else will get hurt that way.”
And that was the last we saw of the tabasco sauce. I guess we at least did something right here. I mean, maybe. I dunno. I was still rather preoccupied. S’a good thing we didn’t encounter a second tornado on our way out. Everypony was sooo busy making the final party preparations ever since Pinkie had shouted her warning. Oh well, good for us!
Once we reached the outside, I breathed in real deep, gettin’ that warm summer air into my lungs. And then, I breathed out, trying to collect what little courage I had left.
Soon after, I felt Brisky nuzzle me.
“It’ll be ok, Moon-Moon,” she said. “You’re a strong pony, and I know you can do this.”
“Gee, I sure hope you’re right…”
“You know I am. And think about it! In a few hours, you’ll have shiny new teeth to show me – to show everypony! You won’t have to hear Diamond Tiara making rude comments ever again!”
Heh. Faithful to a tee, wasn’t she? I would’ve smiled right there and then, but, well… You know the drill.
Anyway, I guess her words really reached me, huh? Because she was right, she was absolutely right. Maybe gettin’ a bit of encouragement was the thing I needed all along. Screw the books, right? A good friend was at least five- no, SIX million times better than spooky scary scientific baloney!
Skippy Brisk rubbed her mane. “Hey, I know I can’t accompany you now, but maybe I could meet you at the hospital later? Like, after your operation is done? That way, we could spend the rest of the Summer Sun Celebration together while you recover. How does that sound?”
“I… I think I’d like that. I’d like that very much, Brisky. Thank you…”
We hugged. Not smiling didn’t mean I couldn’t be affectionate, hrmmff!
She trotted away. “Alrighty, catch ya later then, Moon-Moon! And remember: Soon, this’ll all be behind you, y’hear?”
I nodded and waved goodbye. Though we had to go our separate ways, I felt a teensy tiny bit more confident than before. Yeah, sleep magic was definitely stuff straight out of Tartarus, and yeah, I still believed there was a huge risk of being stuck sleeping forever, but…
I dunno. Maybe, despite my worries, I was going to wake up all fine and dandy later today? Maybe these weren’t my last moments with Skippy Brisk after all? Maybe, just maybe, little Golden Moon deserved her happy ending?
That’d be pretty cool, honestly.
Author's Note
Ye boi, first story on FimFic using the Doctor Horse character tag. Apparently, bitching about missing characters on the Discord gets them added. Kind of a neat lifehack if ya need one.
As for the story itself, I mean, I don’t have much to say about it. It’s pretty self explanatory. There’s a second (and final) chapter coming – hopefully, sooner rather than later. In it, there will be the not-entirely-unexpected twist. I’ve got an inkling that some people won’t be a fan of said twist, but I mean, the Human tag is sort of a giveaway. With the buildup established in this chapter, it’s not too hard to see where this is going. And uh, if that kind of schtuff ain’t your cup of tea, then now would be a good time to dip out. Thanks for dropping by, though!
I thought this sort of idea and segmented story could make for an intriguing read. At least, that was the goal. But what do I know, right? I just type stuff and hope some of it is coherent enough to make a semblance of sense. Mission accomplished or not? The green/red bar shall be the judge of that.
