The heroes Equestria needs

by Assuming-Control

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 2050

Batman and Robin end up finding themselves in Equestria

Batman and Robin find their way to the Equestria after accidentally creating a portal. What adventures await our heroes on the other side!

I'll add featured characters as they appear

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-15 08:50:01 UTC

1: The portal

Was a night, as Robin and Batman were guarding the city on a ledge of a roof. Batman was scouting the town with binoculars, or batculars, as he liked to say, while Robin was standing next to him, just waiting for something to happen. “It is quiet. Too quiet!”, Batman said as he gazed across the Gotham city. “Robin, give me my crime scanner, which like it’s name implies, scans the town of Gotham for any happening crimes.”

“Holy forgetting crime scanner to the batcave, Batman! Seems like we forgot the crime scanner to the batcave.”, exclaimed Robin.

“Hmm, quite peculiar. Have you checked your back pocket, Robin, for that is where the scanner usually resides?”, inquired Batman.

“No, I have not!”. Robin felt his costume’s backside. Until this point he didn’t know the costume even had back pockets. That explains the touching he sometimes feels on his bottom when Batman is behind him. Sometimes at least, he thought. “Ah, here it is Batman. Catch!”, shouted Robin, as he threw the crime scanner to Batman.

“What the- Nooooo!”, yelled batman as the crime scanning apparatus slipped from his hands, falling off the building and crashing to the street below.

Robin slid to the edge of the building, and looked down to the street and to the crushed scanner. “Holy butterfingers, Batman, that sure was bad luck!”

“Why did you even throw it Dick! You were literally standing on my cape!”, Shouted Batman as he pointed to the muddy footprints on his cape.

“Jeez Batman, chill, I’ll clean it once we get back, alright. But uhh, Bats, you might wanna check this out.” Robin pointed to the down below to the street. The pieces of scanning device were shaking and making weird noises, as they started to twirl on the street, some of the pieces rising from the ground, almost like carried by a small tornado. The pieces started to glow, and seemed like in the middle them, to the eye of the small tornado, was forming some kind of portal.

“Whoa, what did Fox build that thing of?”, thought batman, as he looked to the middle of the mess. As the tornado seemed to stop forming further, it seemed like a whirlpool, very dark on the middle of it. at this point batman stood up and gazed at Robin, “Right, Robin, go check if it is dangerous”

“Me!? You’re the leader here, you should know how to deal with those kind of stuff”, insisted robin, not being sure if he wanted to get near the small dark tornado.

“Exactly, I’m a leader and I know that best way to deal with stuff like this is to send someone to scout this a bit closer. So move already”, Robin could hear before he felt a push on his back.

“You son of a-”, Said Robin but didn't dare to finish, he didn’t want to hear about how Batman’s parents are dead back at the Batcave again. After stabilizing himself, Robin opened his cape, slowing his speed. He straightened his legs along the cape and floated towards the small whirlpool.

“What do you think, is it safe”, Robin heard through his earphone.

“I don’t know, looks rather calm. It’s not moving anywhere, and it isn't that big. Very silent too.”, said Robin as he was floating right above the whirlpool

“Right, good, I’m coming down too. And, don’t mention to Alfred or anyone what I did a moment ago, they don’t understand how leaders must work sometimes!”. After saying this, Batman dove off the ledge, spreading his cape.

“Yeah, right, you should explain that to me sometime too. What? What is this? The tornado, it’s suction is very strong above th... Hurry Batm.... it’s sucki... in!”

The earphone connection between him and Robin was cutting off, and he saw Robin struggling to fly himself away from the whirlpool. He dove straight down at full speed, in attempt to catch Robin before he would get swallowed by the whirlpool. “Robin! Just fight it a bit longer, I’m coming as fast as I can!”

Once Robin’s leg and the end of his cape touched the black center or the tornado, the suction yanked him very fast inside. He reached his hand up before the darkness completely swallowed him. Just before the last of Robin disappeared, Batman was able to grab his hand. Batman tried to maneuver them out of the whirlpool, but to no result. The tornado sucked him very quickly inside too, as soon as his hand touched the darkness of it.

Both of them sucked to the middle of the whirling portal, and completely disappeared, the mouth of the tornado shut close. The darkness on the middle of the whirlpool decreased, and the speed of it quickly slowed down, the pieces starting to fall back down, creating a circle where the tornado formed no more than just minutes ago.

2: A whole new world

Over at the other side of the portal, two men are being hurled out at the full speed, to the bookcase on the opposite wall. Buried on heavy books they take their time to recover, but as soon as they realize they have ended up in a place completely unknown for them, they quickly recover to a full fighting stance.

“Robin, are you alright?” asked Batman, as he studied every corner of the weird room with his eyes. A room filled with bookcase after another, roof higher than many houses back in Gotham city, walls painted with bright purple pastel colors.

“Yeah Bats, but this place, I have never seen anything like this before. The architecture is like from some children’s book!”, pointed out robin, with his fists in air, ready for attackers.

“Indeed, dear Robin, but the place doesn't look abandoned, we better be ready for-”

Soon enough as Batman got to say this, he got interrupted as the large doors on the far side of the room got opened in a loud screech. “Hey, you two, what are you doing here, this area of the castle is off limits!”, shouted a pony’s silhouette at the door.

“We’re here against our will, you creature!”, shouted Robin, jumping a bit on place in his fighting stance. “But if you want some, come and get it!”

“Shh Robin, I know more about diplomacy, let me handle this”, whispered Batman to Robin, stopping him from jumping in place by pushing him down from his shoulder. He began walking towards the pony he could see against the light coming from the room behind him. “Greeting citizen, I am Batman, you know, superhero and all that. Just a moment ago, we were- Whoa, why is your head penis glowing?”

Robin watched as Batman walked towards the pony, trying to talk sense into him. Seems like Bats was right again, he’s handling the situation quite nicely. But suddenly, the pony figure uses some kind of head glowing powers to conceal Batman in a small purple bubble. Robin jumps a bit, before regaining his posture, “Hey, what are you doing with him!? Let him down, right now!”

“Robin, save yourself! I've been bubbled, my only weakness!”, shouts Batman in panic, banging to the sides of the bubble, making only a small boomy voice.

“You too! Just come over here and make this easier for us all.” Shouted the pony to Robin’s direction, who was hiding behind one of the bookcases along the wall, peeking at the scene behind it.

“Never! Come and get me!”, yelled Robin, as he threw a batarang towards the pony.

The pony simply uses his magic to flick the batarang out of it’s course.

“Damn! That was my only one too!”, sighed Robin in frustration. But soon after, he had another master plan. He hid behind the bookcase as much as possible, forcing the pony to come closer.

“Alright punk, just come over here now, and I might just let you go with a warning”. After saying this, the unicorn saw huge bookcase next to him slowly tipping over towards him. He first took merely some some small side steps out of the way, but as he saw the books starting to fall from the shelves, he picked up his pace. As the bookcase finally was falling, he tried use his magic to lift it back up, but it was too heavy for his little magic powers. The bookcase toppled over the pony with a great crash, and voices of ripping books.

“Whooa, that’s how you do it, yeah!”, shouted Robin as he did some pelvic thrusts to the general direction of where he believed the pony to be.

“Stop fooling around and come get me out of here!”, yelled Batman from the other side of the room, sitting in his small purple bubble.

“Oh, right, sure thing boss!”, Replied Robin as he ran towards him, stomping a bit more powerfully in the place where the pony was located under the bookcase.

“Get me out of here Robin! The bubble can’t be opened from this side. Try to break It from there, maybe it works like that”, instructed batman, as Robin was circling around the bubble, trying to look any kind of sign for switch or such.

“Well, seems like there isn't any opener or such, like on cans and such. So, here goes nothing!” Said Robin as he started banging the bubble with his fists as hard as he could.

Batman jumped from his sitting position, hitting his head to the low ceiling of the bubble, as the result of the incredibly loud and booming ballyhoo. “Just stop it Robin, stop it dammit! My head is gonna burst before the bubble this way!”

Robin stopped his punch midway to the surface of the bubble. “Oh, shame, what do you suggest next then?” asked Robin, as he went to the door. “Holy already overused joke, Batman, I think we’re in some kind of tower! That’s a loooot of stairs. And to make it worse, in a form of spiral too”, He informed Batman.

“You gotta be kidding me. Please tell me there’s a ramp for paralyzed people at least”, said batman with frustration in his voice. “Right, we need to get out of here, so our next plan is that you shall roll me down the stairs.”

“With pleasure!”, said Robin rubbing his hands together and jogging behind the bubble.

“What? No, not there, you dummy! Get in the front, you’ll secure I won’t roll down the stairs all at once!”, Batman yelled angrily pointing towards the stairs, still sitting in the bubble.

“Ah, of course Bats, no problem!”, he said as he jogged back around to the side of the bubble which was towards the stairs. “Right, but uhh, how do I do this exactly?”

“How do you do it? Shouldn't that be obvious, just, walk, you know how to walk the stairs, right? But don’t let me roll down the stairs!”, tried Batman to guide, sounding quite unsure even himself. “Just go, I’m sure you can do it, woo, you rock Robin!”, said batman as he suddenly remembered how Alfred had advised him not to be that tough on Robin.

“Yeah, you’re right, I can do that, you aren't that heavy anyway!” exclaimed Robin as he pulled the bubble to the first step. “Now remember, you can’t just sit there, you need to move too, or you’ll end up spinning in there.”

“Did you just try to advise the master detective himself. I’ll let you know that I thought about that as soon as I heard you say the word ‘stairs’” Batman announced in a very proud tone. “Now go, I’m ready”

“Right, of course you did, didn't suspect that for a second anyway. Now, here we go!”. Robin was facing the bubble, taking a very slow step backwards on the first step, looking down the stairs. He took another, a bit faster, as he suddenly felt a very big thud from inside the bubble. This naturally made Robin’s grip slip. Batman passed over Robin, straight to the wall forwards, and down the stairs along the outer wall of the tower.

“Which way was I supposed to craaaawl...?” Robin heard from Batman’s attenuating voice, as he got farther and farther down the tower.