The ponyborn

by Bobby Jay

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 2659

In the land of Skyrim their are many dangers, but the most deadliest is yet to come.

As the elder scrolls foretold, after oblivion is opened and the sons of Skyrim spill their own blood, the ponies will return. But there is one they fear… Ponyborn!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-10 02:11:21 UTC

prologue

  The Ponyborn

By Albert C. Shadowfax

    Note: This story is based in the video game Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, and the main character is an human, or Nord       to specif. Also It will switch form 1st to 3rd depending on the situation.

Ever since I was a little lad, I dreamed of being a warrior fighting in huge battles, protecting my home from dangerous creatures like trolls and dragons, or traveling to far lands exploring ancient ruins finding treasures. But sadly fate had other plans, I was working in the port city of Solitude as black smith trying to earn enough money to attend bards college. It was hard work and did’t provide much pay, to make matters worse a war had started up and the imperials forced me to work for free.  Selfish bast...

“Haldor, you call this sharp?” The voice cut through Haldor’s thoughts, he looked up from kindling his furnace to see one of the Imperial guards standing with his blade drawn, holding it  forward so Haldor could see. “How is this suppose to kill a Stormcloak if it can’t even cut bread?”

Haldor heard snickering from behind the soldier, he looked past the guard to see two other soldiers laughing at the scene before them. Oh great, more halfwits trying to taunt me he thought bitterly. He reached up to take the sword from the man, only to have it pulled out of his reach.

“You don’t deserve to take it from me.” The man smiled, then threw the sword it a puddle of muddy water. “Go fetch it you dog.”Anger swelled up in Haldor as the three soldiers burst out laughing. He turned and grabbed his dull butter knife he used when eating.

“Here something more fitting for you” He said with a grin. Anger flashed in the mans eyes  and he swung his fist right at haldor. His instincts took over as he dodged the man’s attack and the lashed out with his own fist catching the soldier in the face. With a crunch the man fall backwards, clutching his nose as blood ran down his face. With a shout, the two other guards ran over towards them.

“Your going to be spending some time in jail for this!” One guard shouted as he drew his sword and stopped in a fighting stance. Haldor opened his mouth to protest but was interrupted as the Western guard tower exploded in a ball of fire, raining stones every where in the town. He stood there in complete shock, but broke out as one of the guard shouted.

“HOLY SH..” The soldier was silenced as dog sized rock impaled him, haldor turned from the gruesome sight and looked up to what had to be the biggest bird in the world.  Wait! that’s no bird! its a.. Pony?

“MUFFINS!” Another ball of flame flew out of its mouth and exploded in the side of a house. Haldor started running, following the rest of the fleeing soldiers towards the main stronghold, while the pony continued to cause havoc around the town, and would sometimes drop down and eat a soldier.

He ran as fast as he could, and finally reached the inside of the fort, right as the two heavy oak doors slammed shut. He looked around at the faces of the survivors, three soldiers and two civilians. It was real quite, inside and outside, and then everyone started talking at once.

“Was that a... a pony?”

“Why us?”

“Are there any others alive?”

“What now?”

Haldor, tired and confused, went over and sat down in a chair and attempting to clear is head, but there was to many questions going though his mind. What am i going to do now? and how can ponies eat humans?...

The Drunk Dragon

                    Chapter 1

    The drunk dragon

“And stay out you drunk argonian.” A small purple lizard flew out of the open door and landed face first in the snow. He stood up and started shouting back at the innkeeper in a very slurred voice.

“I thoughts I told you *hic* I’mz Not no… no? *hic* I’m ah Drangonz.” The drunk dragon continued to rant at the innkeeper, even though he had long since closed the door and went back inside. “And youz should go stickz an sword up your *hic*…”

“Oh for the love of talos, SHUT UP!” The door swung open and a bottle of mead flew out and struck the dragon in the head, though he didn’t even notice.

“Where waz *hic* I telling… Ouch... I feel dizzy.” The purple dragon stumbled around, then fell down on ground and began to snore.

        _________

Haldor walked out of the Nightgate inn and let out a sigh. The ground was covered with over a foot of snow that had built up sometime in the night and even though he was a nord and was used to cold, walking in over a foot of snow would quickly make you tired and wet. He began to waddle through the snow and stopped when he heard something muttering at his feet.

“What… Never heard of a hobbit…. Rarity why are you in my bed…” He heard a snore then something shifting under the snow. “Rarity you look… so sexy in socks… oh yeah, I like that...”

Before I could write more, haldor kicked the pile of snow in front him causing the creature beneath to sit up and cuss in pain. The lizard stopped and looked at haldor, who was chuckling at the lizard’s insults. “What’s so funny?”

“I’ve never had an argonian tell me it was going to take a cupcake and shove it my… never mind.”

“For one I’m not an argonian, I’m a dragon. And secondly, don’t laugh at me or I will shove an cupcake up your-”

“Ok, stop with the cupcakes!” Haldor interrupted, getting uneasy at the thought. “And why are you sleeping the snow?

“I think I pissed the innkeeper off, so he kicked me out. Something about me always getting drunk and trying to bite other people, I don’t know.”

“Aren’t you too young to be a drinker?” The purple dragon looked only a few years old at the most.

“Ha, I can do whatever I want!” The Dragon crossed his arms and shifted his posture, as if trying to look defiant and tough.

“Really now,” Haldor said with a smirk, “so what are you doing?”

“I’m Uh-” The dragon paused and scratched his head, thinking, and then decided to change the subject. “Uh, what are you doing?”

“I’m traveling to Whiterun to see if I can find some work and shelter.” The pony attack on Solitude had left him homeless, poor, and very scared of muffins. Now he was looking for any work available in Whiterun, or one of the other cities scattered across Skyrim.

“I was thinking about joining the companions or working as a blacksmith, but if all else fails I can work at the brewery.” Haldor said aloud, thinking about all of his options.

“What, they have their own brewery?” The dragon said in awe.

“Yeah, I heard there was one right outside of the city walls. I don’t know if Whiterun owns it or if it’s a family business.”

“Hmm…” The dragon appeared to be in great thought, and then finally spoke up. “I’ve decided that I’m going to travel with you to Whiterun. From there we can split up or stay together, it doesn’t matter to me.”

Haldor opened his mouth to protest but stopped. It would be nice to have someone to travel with. He thought to himself, and besides, I doubt the little guy has anyone to take care of him. He thought about it a little longer, and then made up his mind.

“Well if we’re going to be traveling together we might as well introduce ourselves.” He bent down and stuck out his hand. “Name’s Haldor.”

The dragon took his hand and gave it a firm shake. “My names spike, but you can call me spike.”

“Now that names are out of the way are you ready to get going?” Haldor asked his new traveling companion.

“Yup! Here we come Whiterun brewery!” Spike shouted and began plowing down the snowy road with Haldor close at hand.

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It took them hours to finally reach the grassy region surrounding Whiterun. While they walked, Haldor told spike about his life in Solitude and then the pony destroying the town. Spike, on the other hand, didn’t have many stories or memories to share.

“I just woke up a few weeks ago and found myself here in Skyrim. I couldn’t remember anything that happened before, no friends, no family, nothing at all!” the purple dragon confessed as they walked.

“I’ve never heard of this happening before, but maybe a mage would know.” Haldor responded, rubbing his chin as he thought more about the dragon’s situation.  Suddenly Haldor heard Spike give a shout, he looked up to see a yellow blur fly past and circle above the distance city of Whiterun. He cursed aloud, and began to sprint to the city with spike following as fast as could.

Whiterun's Defense

   Whiterun's Defense

“So this is what a terrorized city looks like.” Spike said as he and Haldor stood in the center of Whiterun’s market area. Around them citizens and guards alike ran in unorganized circles while screaming bloody murder at the sky.

“Yeah, but I'm surprised no one is trying to make a sacrifice to the pony in return for their safety.” Haldor grinned at the thought.

“Take my son! He’s to ugly to get me grand-kids!!” A old lady ran by holding a fully grown man in her arms, whom was crying like a little baby.

“Dude that's just wrong.” Spike said with a small shake of his head. Then suddenly him and Haldor both broke out in uncontrollable laughter at the sight, causing many panicking citizens to pause and stare at the them for a few seconds before they continued screaming. After good minute of laughter, the pair manged to catch their breath but were still slightly chuckling.

“Is it bad that we are actually laughing in a situation like this?” Haldor asked spike with a slight frown on his face.

“Nah, man. We’re probably going to get massacred anyways, why not spend our last minutes enjoying life?” Spike turned to a stack of barrels full of mead, “In fact I’ll be over there if you need me..”

With that, the small purple dragon walked over to the barrels and dunked his head inside the nearest one. Haldor rolled his eyes and turned back to the situation at hand. Some of the guards that were not panicking had bows and were attempting to shoot at the yellow flying pony above them. There were a few mages running around, but were shooting random fireballs that mostly hit people’s houses. Also there two people having sex next to a big tree, but that doesn't matter.

“Oh , we’re screwed.” Haldor muttered to himself. Suddenly the giant pony swooped down and landed on top of the brandy barrels, sending the spike and splinters of wood flying everywhere. At once everyone froze and stared at the yellow pony with open mouths, even the two lovebirds stopped and stared. Haldor finally got a good look at the pony, it was twice as big as a bear with a yellow coat and pink mane. On its flank was three pink butterflies, which was a little weird for a evil man eating beast.

Then she began to talk in a soft voice, “Um hi every-...thing, My name is Fluttershy.”

Everyone stared at her.

“I’m sorry if I scared all of you.”

More blank stares.

“I was hoping we could become friends.. if that's ok with you...”

It was silent for a few seconds, everyone just stood there starring at the large yellow pony until finally a man stepped out of the crowd.

“Yes, let us befriend this nice pony! Who’s with me?” He shouted to the crowd. There was a pause and then everyone began cheering their agreement outloud, some helms were even thrown into the air. (They all knocked out the people they landed on)

“STOP!!!” Spike screamed out loud, causing the crowd to stop cheering and look at him.

“This pony is evil! Just look at what it did to these poor barrels of ale!!” He pointed at the shattered remains of the barrels.

The crowd looked at the pile of wood pieces, then at spike, and finally Fluttershy.

“He’s right! She destroyed good ale!!” A few people murmured there agreement with the random man.

“Well,” Fluttershy began, “Beer is bad for you..”

There was a large gasp from the crowd, some people even began to cry. Things quickly changed as the crowd began to become hostile, and started advancing at the pony.

“How dare you insult the one thing the Nord race is based on, other than war and really big axes!” One man shouted. “Now leave before you hurt us even more!”

Fluttershy’s eye began to twitch, her mane started to mane started to pop up and stick out at random points. Oh Talios, this is gonna get bad..  Haldor thought while watching from the back of the crowd.

Spike raised his middle finger, “Hey Fluttershy! Fu-”

“FUS RO DA!”  In less than three seconds Spike ended up inside a house that proceeded to collapse on him and burst into flames. And once again, everyone one stopped and stared at Fluttershy with their mouths agape.

“YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME!!!!!!!” Fluttershy screamed while lighting and flames conveniently appeared behind her. And once again everyone began to panic and scream while running around in almost perfect circles.

In the middle of this horrible crisis Haldor couldn’t help to face-palm himself, quickly he ran over to one of the panicing guards and grabbed a gaint two headed war axe that was dropped on the ground. He looked over at Fluttershy, who was eatting a elf, and began sprinting at her with the axe raised above his head. At the last second she looked up to see the axe cutting through her neck, severing her head from her body.

For a third time everyone stopped and stared, this time at Haldor, with there mouths agape. Before he could say something really corny, Fluttershy’s dead body burst into flames and was completely burned to ashes in mere seconds. Then the flames arched out and flew right into Haldor, who’s body seemed to suck up the flames like a sponge.

Haldor blinked, What the heck just happened?.

“He’s ponyborn, just like in the legends!” Someone shouted from inside the crowd, then at once everyone began cheering and throwing more helms into the air. Haldor had no idea what was going on, but before he could ask anyone a deep rumbling noise appeared out of no where.

“What is it?” Someone yelled.

“It’s 50 cent!”

“Na, man this sounds more like dubstep.”

The rumbling went on for a few seconds until it finally stopped, just as suddenly as it had begun. Spike some how manged to crawl out from the burning rubble and walked up to him.

“So are you going to go meet them?” He asked as he pulled out flaming spplinters.

“Meet who?” Haldor asked with a puzzled exspresion.

“Didn’t you hear their message? They said ‘Ponyborn we require thou to travel to thee at the throat of the world, we will train thous so thou fun shall be doubled!’ and that was pretty much it.”

“All I heard was some rumbling like a giant was taking a dump.” Haldor said with a chuckle.

“I guess you don’t have my awesome skill.” Spike started flexing trying to show off his small muscles.

(Note: I have no idea where I'm going with this, but that's what makes it fun!!)