Guessing Game

by str8aura

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Comedy, Main 7 (EqG), Profanity, Random, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 1292

The Humane Six have to figure out whose element is whose after losing their memory.

The Humane Six have to figure out whose element is whose after they come in from Equ- Wait, did they ever hear what their, like, proper elements were in Canon? Shit, okay, uh, they lost their memories too. And... The elements are rocks again, so they can't just look at the symbols.

Whew. Saved it.

Published 2024-10-15 20:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-10-15 20:20:00 UTC

Oh No!

Horrible, world ending monster.

Seven humans, uniquely granted with Equestrian magic, and each embodying an element of harmony to battle the forces of evil and disharmony.

You know this already.

Now if only they could remember it.

Sunset and her friends sat gathered in her bedroom, seated in different stages of relaxation on her bed and floor. The windows were drawn shut to distract from the scarlet red skies and angry thunderclouds, although they were less effective at blotting out the ear-piercing roars that would randomly let loose over the countryside.

The sorcerer's (read: Shunned high school student's) final move before he was karmically devoured by the very beast he summoned was his most vile. It was a simple spell, designed with a dual purpose; One part of the spell used a variant of the Memory Stone's magic, surgically removing the Mane Seven's recollection of who represented which element exactly. The second part of the spell used an ancient Equestrian time incantation, centralized solely upon the artifacts that had been brought over from Equus for the purpose of battle. It reversed the Elements' personal timestream, returning them to their pre-unlocked state of round stones, awaiting their bearers discovery.

Said featureless spheres currently sat on the carpet in the center of the room, stared at intently by a group of seven head-scratching, face-scrunching teenagers trying desperately to remember which went to who.

Dash spoke first. "I mean, I'm obviously laughter, right?"

Sunset furrowed her brow. "Why- why is that obvious?"

"Because- I mean, come on. Who else could I be? What, kindness?"

"I kind of figured Sunset would be kindness, right?" Applejack offered.

Sunset did a double take. "What- Me? Kindness? I only started thinking about other people in like, the last two years of my life. I do not qualify."

"Ain't that kind of the most important part, though? I mean, let's face it, none of us embody any of these roles all of the time."

"Except mine." Dash quickly interjected.

"Yes, yes, except yours- Let's just take this logical-like. There's six elements, and seven of us. Somebody ain't getting one."

"And I'll admit I'm kind of confused about this first one. Is it magic or friendship?" Twilight (Of the science variety) looked to Sunset for guidance, peering over her glasses.

Sunset stammered. "It's... Sort of both? I mean, we value both very highly in our culture. It's sort of a mashup, I guess. Or saying, like... They're the same thing?"

Twilight huffed. "I don't think magical artifacts should have their powers linked to unspoken moral lessons." She lectured, as if she was personally the expert on magical artifacts.

Before Sunset could snap back, Fluttershy interjected. "Is it meant to be overall, or tied to one particular moment in our lives? Because, err, for some of us- Like Sunset- We sort of had big, climactic... Moments, I guess? That really made it obvious what we stood for."

"Like a conclusion to an arc, darling." Take a wild guess who said this one.

"I suppose. But for most of us... We don't really have one moment in our lives we can point to to represent us? Is that just me?" Fluttershy glanced around for affirmation.

"She's got a point. Not many places we can really prove we're the embodiment of honesty, or loyalty, or whatnot." Applejack pointed out.

"Well, I think you're loyalty!"

"Me? Shucks, Pinkie, what for?"

"You're a family gal! You're always goin' on about an Apple's duty, and being an Apple, and you're our most reliable friend by far- No offense, Sunset-"

"I wouldn't have taken offense if you hadn't said anything, but thanks."

"-So I think you're the most deserving of the title! And I should be..." Pinkie scrunched her face up for a moment.

"Generosity?" Sunset suggested off the top of her head.

Pinkie's eyes lit up and she slapped her own cheeks. "Oh my gosh! Yes, because I'm always throwing parties and giving gifts and giving up my time for others!"

"You're also always making us laugh, though." Fluttershy added.

"And you're pretty big on staying honest to a promise..." Twilight speculated.

"Wait, I'm mixed up. What were the other ones?" Applejack blinked.

"Honesty, laughter, kindness, loyalty, generosity..." Even Sunset slipped up trying to remember, scrunching her eyes shut. "...Magic."

"And friendship."

"Yes. No! It's the same thing as Magic."

Twilight pursed her lips. "Didn't you have a princess of Love back in Equestria? Shouldn't love be an element?"

"Hell, I could be love. I love y'all."

"There's no love." Sunset quickly shot down. Applejack looked suddenly glum. "Sorry, girls. That's- I guess that's just friendship, too."

"That's a bit closer to Philia than Eros, is it not? Should you have elements for both?"

"Hey Twilight, I don't want to hear about your philias!"

Nobody except for Rainbow laughed at her own joke. She made up for it by laughing very, very hard. When she was done the conversation moved on.

"...Listen, girls, while we debate this, the world is actively being destroyed. We gotta figure this out, fast, so here's what we're gonna do. Everybody close your eyes."

Sunset stood at the front of the room as the others sat and did so.

"Heads up seven up style. I call out an element, you raise your hand if you think it should be you. Okay? Okay."

From under her elbow, Fluttershy peeped. "What about you?"

Sunset, who had been quietly harboring the belief that she was meant to be generosity this entire time, bit her tongue. "I- I'll be fine. Someone has to do it, and I joined the team second to last. Most of you know each other better than me."

She tried to avoid looking at Twilight as she started calling.

"Loyalty!"

No hands.

"Honesty!"

No hands.

"Generosity...?"

No hands.

Sunset sighed.

"...Laughter?"

Rainbow's hand jubilously shot into the air and rattled like a serpent's tail.

"Okay, open your eyes. None of you are voting. Except for Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow smiled proudly and crossed her arms.

"I'm real sorry, sugarcube, but- And hey, maybe this is just me- Don't it seem a little bragging-like? Like, 'Hoah, look at me, I am the world's greatest living embodiment of loyalty! None are more loyal than I, darling, for I alone would die a thousand deaths for you!' Sorta?"

Rarity gave Applejack a judgemental look at the hypothetical imitation, but said nothing.

"AJ's right. I don't know if I'd feel- If any of us would feel comfortable making a declaration like that." Fluttershy said earnestly.

"Except Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow smiled even prouder and crossed her arms even more crossedly.

Sunset whinnied in derision. "Fine! Fine. We really don't have time for moral high grounds right now, girls. So we're gonna do this, because we're seriously running out of options, and I just got a news alert that says Australia was disintegrated. We draw straws! Whatever it says, it's final. No ifs, ands, or buts! Got it?"

The girls obediently nodded, shutting up.

"Applejack, gimme your hat."

Names were signed. Papers were shredded. Hats were jostled.

And in the end, democracy won the day.

Staring down the great dragon Tiamut, whose heads were many and whose girth was vast, Rainbow Dash lifted her head confidently. She stood alone at the precipice of the mountain in the beast's warpath, wearing every single element at once; four on each limb, one on her neck, and one clasped in her teeth like a sword.

Knowing nobody could hear her, she quietly hissed with barely constrained glee around her mouth full of necklace;

"I put my name in six times."

Author's Note

If you question the logic of this story's incredibly convoluted setup I start shooting.