And I Kept On Falling

It’s official; the Royal Sisters have lost their minds.

To be fair, a thousand years on the throne is bound to drive anypony insane. Neither alicorn truly has a life of her own, and this constant work-eat-sleep-work schedule must have chipped away some of their sanity. Which explains the terrible decisions they’ve been making recently.

Like constantly allowing themselves to be captured by villains. Or entrusting civilians with the safety of their kingdom. Or stepping off the throne.

I mean, I get wanting to abdicate. Like I said, they’ve been working for a long time; they deserve rest. They deserve to step down, let loose, and live their own lives for once.

But appointing me as their successor? What were they thinking?!

Of all the things the Diarchy has done, this is by far the worst decision they’ve made. Ever.

Have Celestia and Luna not seen the strings of bad decisions I’ve been making lately? Have they not seen the constant harmful ideas I’ve had in the last year? Have they not been present for the sheer amount of disasters that have happened recently?

Do they not see what a failure I am?

I’m not qualified to run a country! Heck, I’m barely even qualified to run a school!

In the past year alone, I exposed my friends’ entire lives to the world, unleashed a dangerous beast on the kingdom, practically handed over my magic to a foreign overlord, and allowed myself to be manipulated by a power-hungry child!

I keep valuing everypony else’s approval over my own friends’. I keep making decisions that endanger the lives around me. I couldn’t convince any of my recent foes to believe in the magic of friendship. I can’t take care of the students I chose to mentor.

In what world am I ready to succeed them?!

What have I done that deserves such an honor?

“Equestria is currently enjoying its longest period of harmony in recent years. And it’s all thanks to you, Twilight.”

Please. They’re lying to you.

…I’ve been doing nothing but failing recently. And now, after a series of devastating blows, the Sisters are thrusting me into the height of responsibility. They’re expecting me to become the highest authority in the land!

I can’t do this! I’m not ready for this! I’ll never be ready for this!

There must be somepony more qualified for the role. Somepony who doesn’t constantly cause trouble like I do. Somepony who cares about the land and doesn’t keep endangering it.

Ergo, somepony who isn’t you.

Look at me. The mere thought of taking over is enough to send me spiraling. I’m freaking out and hyperventilating and my friends are looking at me like I’m a lunatic.

Because, let’s face it, that’s exactly what I am.

You’re such a screw-up that your friends have created a new verb for you. Existing words aren’t enough to encompass the depths of your flaws.

Your Majesties, I’m really sorry, but I can’t do this. Please choose somepony else.

The Tree is gone.

The Tree of Harmony, the Elements… dead.

He destroyed it.

Wasn’t it your idea to use the Elements against him?

…I destroyed it.

The most powerful force in Equestria is gone because of me…

It's all my fault…

Yes. Everything is your fault. All you do is mess up and cause problems. And now, you’ve robbed your the kingdom of its greatest weapon.

“You led me right to the source of your power.”

“I felt it when it happened. Like part of my essence just ceased to be.”

“And because of me, the Tree of Harmony was destroyed.”

I killed the Tree of Harmony. I destroyed the Elements of Harmony, and with it, a part of my girls’ essences.

You’re no better than all the villains you’ve encountered. At least they can admit how evil they are.

None of my ideas are working. Every decision I make leads to disaster. I can’t do anything right!

I. Can’t. Do. Anything!

I can’t do anything…

Can’t believe it took you this long to realize this.

What good have I really done? What have I truly achieved in all my life?

“Twilight! None of this would’ve been possible without you, little sis. Love you, Twily.”

“You failed the test, Twilight!”

“Far better that I have a student who understands the meaning of self-sacrifice than one who only looks out for her own best interests.”

“Their destinies are now changed, and it’s all my fault.”

“She even helped reunite me with my sister, Princess Luna.”

“Trixie was right. You’re not really giving her a second chance. I wonder what that says about how you feel about me.”

“After all you’ve done for me, this is the least I can do. You taught me the value of friendship.”

“I just unleashed ultimate evil and doomed Equestria because I was obsessed with meeting my idol!”

“But if it is wisdom you seek, look no further than your own pupil.”

“Friendship didn’t fail me. I failed-”

Enough.

Wh- What?

I said enough.

So what if I’m not perfect? Nopony is. Perfectionism is a lie we tell ourselves. Striving for perfection is striving for the impossible, and I am done chasing a fantasy.

Everypony’s lives and careers rise, hit a peak, and then fall. That’s normal. I’m simply going through a rough phase right now. Does that phase have devastating consequences? Yes. But I’ve suffered more damaging hits when I was rising, too. This phase will pass.

All that goes up must eventually go down. But when you hit the complete bottom, you have nowhere to go but up. And I will rise again, just as I’ve risen before. I have made an impact on this world. I have done good, and my less-than-stellar moments do not negate that.

Better days will come. Days where I’ll be a good leader, friend and mentor. I’ve done it once before and I can do it again.

I am not a failure. I just fail sometimes.

I am Her Royal Highness, Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. It is my sworn duty to protect my kingdom from harm. It is my life’s mission to be as good a friend as I can possibly be. And I will continue down that road, no matter how much I stumble, striving to be and do good for as long as I shall breathe.

I can do this. We - my friends and I - can do this. Together.

I’ll be okay.

My worst enemies have won. The land is divided. My loved ones are at best captured and at worst dead. My recent achievements were all lies.

Nothing I’ve ever done has truly made a difference. I can’t protect my people. I can’t protect my friends. I just can’t.

I can’t do anything. I’m nothing but a failure.

Tried to warn you, Twilight. Say it with me now. What are you?

…a failure.

And that’s all you’ll ever be.