I'm finally going back to school.
After being conned into actually going, due to my parents offering to buy Elden Ring for me on pre-release, I reluctantly agreed to go. I haven't been back there in a long time, but I'm not planning on being back for long, either. The first week, I'll go and maybe do something just to satisfy them. I could also just take the bus into the city and pretend that I'm at school.
...Nah, that won't do anything to change my attendance, so I'm left with no choice.
I'm walking dejectedly along the path to school and I notice a few groups of students going my way, all of them slowly filing in from different directions. I don't recognize them, and I doubt they recognize me. I'm barely at school so I would be surprised if they know me. I don't know for sure, but it has to be around five months since I was at school last.
I don't stand out too much either. I'm just an average looking kid at the end of his teens. Dark hair, skinny and lazy clothing. Actually, when I think about it I probably stand out quite a bit. Whatever.
I adjust my backpack and loop my thumb inside the strap as I face my head down to the pavement in front of me. I hate that I'm the only guy walking alone to school. It's nothing new, but I still hate it. Don't mind them. They just know each other because they actually go to school, idiot.
If there's anything I can call myself a professional in, it's FPS's and bringing myself down. I always berate myself for not making any friends, but I actually have to make an effort doing that. I just don't have it in me, I'm always too judgmental of myself and I second guess everything I do or say. I'll just go to school, endure, and then I can indulge in a new game. That's the way I prefer it. Was it though?
I sigh as I kick a rock down the pavement. I really want things to be different.
It's a cold day out today. For some reason my head keeps spinning. I'm already on edge, and it's pissing me off. I keep rubbing my head to make it go away and I feel something strange in my chest too, like something's squeezing at me. I feel uneasy and nauseous, but I'm mostly just chalking that up to being nervous about going back to school after over a month of not going. I've had panic attacks before, but this is different.
More groups of students appear the closer I got to school. There are a lot of apartment buildings and I think a lot of them come from around this area that I'm passing through. Right before I get to the school grounds, I stop in front of a crosswalk as a whole pack of students walk up right behind me. I feel like a sore thumb, standing all alone with so many groups of people around me. They're probably thinking I'm some loser, standing there on my own. It feels like I have a lot of eyes on my neck right now.
I'm sweating.
My fists clench up as I dig myself deep into my own mind, clawing my eyes out with worries that probably don't even exist. I hear giggling from one of the girls nearby, and my mind instantly jump to ;she's laughing at me. My heart is pounding in my head and my head sinks down low as I try to hide from the world, and my grip on my bag strap feels wet.
I need to get away. I feel a panic attack coming on. I take a ragged breath as I start walking, needing as much distance as possible from it all.
"Hey, watch out!"
I realize my mistake too late. I'm not thinking straight, so I walk across the crosswalk without even looking. I barely have time to process the warning behind me before I meet my maker on the windshield of a honking bus.
I feel numb. My consciousness fades in and out and I see colors and bright lights popping in and out constantly. I see people rushing over me, familiar faces, unfamiliar faces, an ambulance, nurses, doctors... Their voices come and go, and they're very faint.
"Don't wo-"
"You're gonna b-"
"...ELP HIM.... EASE....!"
I jolt awake for a few moments during this process and only then does the pain come in. Holy fuck, everything hurts. Make it stop. Absolutely every part of my body is screaming.
No... Please. Don't do this.
I feel it. I feel my body losing life and the slow grasp of death slowly taking over my form. Most importantly, I see memories flash by in my head. The time my dad gave me my bike when I turned ten, when my uncle took me to his firing range for the first time, when I lost my grandmother, the look in my parents faces when I told them I was depressed...
I...
No. This can't be the end. Please. I'm not even grown up yet...
I don't....
I never believed in anything. There isn't going to be anything after I die. This can't be happening.... I'm so... so...
Scared.
"Help..."
I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Please...
Raw fear, some of which I have never felt before, embrace my body. This isn't what I was expecting to happen when I die. I thought I would feel at peace, but instead, I feet and immense fear and dread wash over me. Was I going to hell? I wouldn't be surprised.
The flashes of doctors and nurses slowly fade away, and I'm left with nothing but darkness. The fear doesn't go away despite my body no longer being part of me. I 'look down' and see the same thing as I see everywhere else. Complete nothingness.
I don't know for how long that lasted. I don't even know if there is any time here at all.
I see something... materialize... before me. A shape I don't know. I 'see' it reach out it's limbs and caressed my 'face' before hugging me tightly in it's bosom. I feel a distinct female presence. I'm almost certain I passed already, since I'm in some sort of dream-like state. The female thing hugging me rubs my back, and I feel cold.
I guess the devil is a woman...
This 'woman' doesn't comfort my state, in fact, her presence makes things infinitely more terrifying. I don't understand what's going on, but I feel the hairs stand up on ever part of my body as she embraces me. She's the culmination of everything I ever feared, and then some. I can't even tell her to stop, or scream for help. I don't have a mouth.
She makes things much worse when she whispers into my ear.
"...I have you..."
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be inside a tornado? What about what it would feel like to be inside of a massive whirlpool in the middle of the ocean? I've also wondered what that's like, but I don't feel like I've ever been closer than what I am right now. I'm currently adrift in an endless void. What's here? Does anything exist?
The thing that was here before is gone, I think. I don't actually know, because I feel like she's near. At some point she just sort of vanished, and I can't tell where exactly she went.
I don't have a body, all I have is my soul, which is being tormented by fear. I normally try to laugh off nervousness with some bullshit joke I can think of, or make a stupid comment to lighten the mood. I don't have that right now. I can't even speak in this place. I've tried.
A light.
After another endless eternity, I see a light somewhere in the darkness. I squint my eyes, even though I have no eyes to squint. All of a sudden, without warning, my existence is flung toward it before I can start wondering what the hell it means. Panic, and a little bit of curiosity enter my mind as I fly to the tiny light in the dark. As I rush in it's direction, I faintly hear a voice coming from it.
"...ush! Honey, push!"
Huh?
It was muffled, but It sounds like a man's voice. He keeps repeating the same phrase over and over again. The voice makes me feel calm for some reason, so I try to get myself closer to it. Right now, it's my only escape from the torment. I don't really have to make an effort, though. My existence is doing my work for me.
"Nearly there now! I can see the head!"
The light engulf me as I pummel through the growing light, and all feelings of fear and endlessness stop as I finally get a moment of rest.
I don't know how long has passed between then and now, but I feel like I am back in a space where I am not only breathing, but feeling a sense of weight again. I try to open my eyes, something I find quite difficult. My eyes feel heavy and for some reason they're stuck together. Opening them is painful, as I'm assaulted by a bright light in the ceiling the moment I manage to crack one of them open a tad. Ugh, who installed spotlights in my fucking room...
It must have been a dream. I just had a horrible, messed up dream, and I'm finally going to wake up. Thank god. This must have been the worst god damn nightmare I ever had. I sigh as I try to move, but I find that equally as difficult as when I tried to open my eyes. All I can do is think. Sleep paralysis?
I feel movement. "Oh... look at him, honey!"
Wait... that's the man's voice I heard earlier in the dream. What? I don't recognize that voice. It's not my dad's voice and I don't remember it from anywhere, either. Did some strange man just come into my room? I try to open my mouth and tell them to get the fuck out, but all I do is make some sort of 'ga' noise.
My body is suddenly lifted into the air by... well... nothing. I feel like I'm floating. I still can't see very well, given my eyes being blinded by light and the fact that keeping them open is difficult at this point. The moment I'm put down by the strange floating sensation, I feel strangely comfortable and safe, which I embraced quite readily, though still somewhat confused. Ahhh yes... very nice.
"Dad! Oh, can I hold him? Oh, please!" I hear the voice of a little girl sting through the peace and quiet. Shut up, whoever you are. And also, get the fuck out of my room.
"Not yet, Twilight. He's just been born, so you have to wait a little bit, okay?"
This voice came from right above my head, and just hearing the voice made me lose all sense of stress. Why is that so relaxing? I don't even recognize the voice. I'm starting to get a little bit worried about what's going on.
That aside, what the fuck did they just say?
Okay, so maybe I'm wrong to assume I was dreaming. What the hell is going on? I really need my eyes. The girl who had been talking earlier made a displeased sound, not liking being told to wait most likely.
I feel a chuckle from whomever I'm laying on, and I finally manage to pry my sticky eyes open.
"Aw, look at him... He's already opened his eyes!"
Looking down at me, is a creature I'm not familiar with. It's clearly female, given the voice, but other than that I had no idea what the fuck I'm looking at. She has gray fur and a horn poking out of her forehead, along with purple and white streaked hair. She looks at me lovingly, the way a mother looks at her child. What the fuck is this?
Another creature pops into my vision, this one is dark blue and has even darker blue hair. It also has a horn poking out of it's head, same as the other one. It, or rather, he, smiles at me as well.
"Welcome to the world, little one." He said with the most shit eating grin I've ever seen.
Excuse me???
Thoroughly confused, I try lifting my arms to lift myself up but I found that to be quite the challenge. My arms feel heavy and wrong, and they barely react when I intend to raise them. They feel like how they do after a long workout session. It takes a while, but I slowly manage to raise both of my arms and moved them to my face to see what the fuck is going on with them.
When I get a good look at my hands in front my face, I'm met with a confusing sight. Instead of flexible fingers that I'm oh-so used to at this point, there are now stubs. Or rather, hooves. They were tiny, and filled with goo and blood. In fact, I feel like my whole body is covered in the stuff, and that's when I realize that I'm quite smelly and sticky. Senses of my surroundings slowly fall into place as I realize what's going on.
Choosing to go with the most rational response to the situation, I proceed to scream my lungs out.
"Oh no, why is he crying?" Asks the girl from earlier.
"Don't worry, Twi. It's normal! You should have seen how much you cried when you were born... Oh, look away! Mom's going to feed him now."
Ugh... Where do I even start with this?
So, current situation; I am, in fact, not dreaming at all. It seems, as unlikely as it is, that I have been reborn. Great! That solves the mystery about what happens after death. Wonderful. So, can someone kindly explain to me why I haven't been reborn as a HUMAN?!
After being given the answer of what happens after death, I'm faced with even more questions. Why do I seem to have been born as an equine? And why do these equines act just like humans do? They even speak perfect English. How did I come to the conclusions that they are equines? Well, they have hooves, manes and tails just like horses and ponies do, but all similarities end there. The rest seems like some sort of hybrid between a human and a horse. Their faces and expressions are way too human-like to compare to that of a horse.
I had heard some of them say 'somepony' and 'everypony' at some point, which led me to the conclusion that these things are, in fact, ponies. And I guess, so am I. Well, if there's anything that's clear to me, this clearly isn't even on earth.
It's been about a day since I was born, and I had honestly been waiting to see if I would wake up at some point, but I had not yet. I don't have much time to think about that, because I'm too consumed in taking in all the new sensations around me. I can't talk, walk, or do anything yet. All I can do is observe, and observe I will.
My 'parents' have been a little bit worried about me. They seem to be confused as to why their baby is quietly scanning the area instead of crying and shitting everywhere. Well, I'm not a baby! I wasn't going to play this game again, once is enough! But I have to admit, that milk was pretty good...
I'm getting ahead of myself. After my tantrum when I realized what was going on, I tried collecting myself and stop panicking. Not much I can do since I already died, so I might as well try to figure out as much as I can as early as I can. There were a lot of new sensations, and one of them turned out to be in the middle of my dang forehead.
I had a horn. Apparently, on top of being a pony, I was a unicorn pony. And from what I was able to tell, unicorn could use magic. MAGIC! If could evil smile, I would evil smile. I did not have teeth to pull off any such feet, at this point I was barely even able to keep my head up. It was annoying to be a baby, but at the very least I didn't have to worry about anything. That was probably the only good thing about this...
Oh, who am I kidding? I literally just got a second chance at life, and in a completely different world, no less! On top of that, I actually remember my old life, how crazy is that?! Sure, I'm gonna miss my family and video games, but, where the fuck do I even begin with the amount of chances I have this time?
Don't get ahead of yourself, dude. Relax, take a breath, and try to enjoy life as a baby.
I have siblings, this time around, too. Siblings who are quite taken with me. It's hard for me to gauge a pony's age, but given their size and the way the spoke, I would wager they are anywhere between five and ten years old. My older brother is definitely the older one, though. He's much bigger than my sister and he definitely has the 'older brother' vibe. He's a white coated colt with a blue streaked mane, and his name is Shining Armor.
My sister is a cute little filly with a purple coat and purple and dark blue hair, and her name is Twilight Sparkle. Seriously, dude, what the fuck are these names? Even I have the silliest name. I had to double take when they named me Sky Light yesterday. I'm a little bit of a darked shade of white than my brother, and my hair is a bright shade of blue and purple.
My mother is currently rocking me back and forth on her lap while she is sitting perfectly straight on a recliner in our house. Yeah, somehow she's sitting like a person in this thing. How? Don't ask.
She's humming a nice song to me, one that perfectly soothes my somewhat troubled mind. I am being pretty quiet all things considered, and I'm taking this new development pretty well. I don't want to act unnatural, I feel like telling anyone that I'm from another world and that I'm a different species would probably not go over so well. They would either think I was crazy, or, they would believe me and they would question why the fuck I had to take over the place of what the child that could have been born would have been.
Now, that was a bit of a sobering thought. Did I indirectly kill a newborn child in order to take its place?
I shiver at the thought, but my mother's humming calm me down. She shakes me gently back and forth in her forelegs and I sighed. What comes out of my mouth is a 'coo'. My sister comes up to us from out of nowhere and looks at me with a sugar-sweet smile.
"He's so cute, mommy..." She hums as she gets her face really close to mine, and very gently lay her head to rest on me. Little does she realize, she's almost poking my eye out with her horn so I respond by moving my head slightly and putting the pokey-stick in my mouth and tewing on it with my gums.
Twilight gasps and removes her head quickly. "Eww!"
She frantically wipes the drool off her horn and I laugh internally. My mother giggles, but scolds Twilight for getting her horn too close to my face. Little Twilight pouts as she prompts to admire my charming features from a distance.
"And you, little prankster," She starts, facing me. "don't go putting everything in your mouth, now. That could be dangerous!"
No shit, lady. I wasn't born yesterd-
...
Never mind.
It didn't take more than a week before I could actually start using my body properly. That is to say, 'properly' probably isn't the best way to describe it. I was a human, and now I'm a pony. So, it takes some getting used to. My natural instincts tell me I need to swing my arms while I walk on my bipedal legs, but that's not what ponies do.
It's not too bad, though. I could easily mask my disorientation with the fact that I am a new-born, so it's not like anyonewould be weirded out by it. At least I hope. My father, Night Light, has taken it upon himselfg to be my mentor in the art of using one's body to propel themselves forward in life.
"There you go, son! You got it now! Try to trot all the way over to your big brother over there!" He said as I tried not toppling over. I have my brother in my line of sight, gently making my way forward slowly as he grins back at me. I stick my tongue out as I focus on the motion of my legs.
Okay guys, stop with the whole baby thing, I can't concentrate. I hate when people are watching me do exercises or shit like that. It just makes it harded for me. I try to tell Shining Armor to be quiet but all that comes out is a curt 'garblbl'. Yeah, can't speak yet. Guess I need to let my new vocal system settle before I can finally start using offensive slurs again. I somehow make it across the living room, much to my entire family's joy.
Things had been very calm and nice here in my new home for the past week. I had spent an incredible amount of time asleep. When I wasn't asleep I was mostly around my mother, Twilight Velvet. She's very protective of me and she doesn't want to let others handle me too often. I think my siblings are starting to get a tad jealous at all the attention I'm getting from her, especially because they aren't allowed to hold me too often.
No offence, guys, but I don't trust kids holding younger kids. I don't wanna have brain damage growing up because one of you drops me.
Altogether, this seems to be a very happy and content family of five. I can't tell how old my parents are, but I'd say they're probably well into their thirties at this point, maybe tipping the forties. They... They're kind. I like them.
One other thing I also noticed is that my sister seems to posess some sort of reptile that she calls 'Spike'. She carries the little dude around with her everywhere. I heard her call him a baby dragon from time to time, but I don't see any wings on it. Then again, fantasy world out of a god damn fairy tale, not to hard to imagine dragons existing here as well. Question is, how the hell did she come about finding one? Do they sell them like they sell those dinosaurs the grow in water in under twenty four hours back on Earth?
If so I think I need to find myself a sidekick, too.
We live in a fairly sized house in some sort of city. I haven't been outside that much, so I haven't been able to see much of it, but I have seen a massive castle through the windows from time to time. Big castle? That is fucking awesome. The downside to this place's charms is the fact that the most modern technology I've seen is an old polaroid camera, so I don't think I'm going to be gaming any time soon. How would I even do that with hooves?
What could they possibly have that could rival the technology of Earth? What could they ever do that humanity couldn't? I'll tell you what. Magic.
Seeing as I have a horn, it would be fair to assume that one of these days, I can also use magic. I can't really feel the thing sticking out of my head unless I accidently bump it into something. It was odd, but if it gives me supernatural powers, sign me up! I'd seen first hand how awesome magic can be. I myself have been moved around in my parents' display of magic, and I have seen both my my siblings do it, albeit their attempts are far less impressive.
So, that gives me a few years to practice before I can actually do much with it. Better find some way to study up on it, somehow. I have seen numerous books around the whole house labeled with titles like 'Magical Dictionary' and 'The Way of the Horn', so I definitely have my work cut out for me. I will get to work with that as soon as possible.
I will use the knowledge of my old life to head into this one with a bright new mindset. I won't fuck up like I fucked up my last life.
This time, I will have no regrets.
