I'm Surrounded by Idiots

by SaberWolf367

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Equestria Girls, Main 7 (EqG), Random, Twilight Sparkle (EqG)
Length: 1446

There are many things that Twilight has learned about friendship. One of which is just quickly a group of friends can immediately jump onboard a really dumb idea.

Twilight Sparkle has learned many things about friendship. One of the more negative things involves the group collectively having a really stupid idea. In this case, it involves Applejack and Rainbow Dash competing to see who can hold a disgusting beverage down the longest. To make matters worse, all her friends are in on it. Because of course they are.

Published 2024-10-19 09:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-10-19 09:00:01 UTC

I'm Surrounded by Idiots

There were many things that Twilight Sparkle had learned about friendship since she had transferred to CHS. She’d learn how much fun spending time with friends can be, whether it be something as mundane as eating lunch in the cafeteria together, to have sleepovers, to going on a myriad of exciting magical adventures(though the later was a little more exclusive to their friend group.) She’d learn how great it was to have someone to talk to and listen two, whether it be bouncing ideas off each other, or being there to comfort each other in their time of need.

That being said, there were some not so great things she had learned about friendship. For example, she’d learned that whenever one member of a group of friends had a dumb idea, two outcomes were possible. In the more positive scenario, the others would at least attempt to persuade their friend out of whatever foolish idea they'd brought up. The less positive scenario involved all the members off the friend group effectively losing all but two brain cells and joining in with whatever idiotic idea the first person had come up with.

“Your going down, A.J.!”

“Big talk Dash. Ya think ya can back it up?”

Case in point, right now. It had all begun a few days a go at lunch. Rainbow Dash(who was clearly in need of a lecture on things being ‘to soon’) made the mistake of bring up the school’s somewhat disastrous spring break cruise trip. Twilight’s eye twitched at that particular reminder, and while they would eventually get to the point were they could laugh at it later, for now, the other girls had cringed at remembering that particular adventure. Being stuck on a malfunctioning ship in a storm(among all the other problem’s they’d dealt with) was not fun. However in this case, it was specifically when Rainbow brought up how seasick Applejack had been. More accurately, Rainbow had thought it would be a great idea to jokingly call Applejack a “light weight” for how often she lost her lunch off the side of the ship. Applejack was quick to fire back, remarking that Dash couldn’t keep down quickly chugged root beer, and was therefore the real light weight. The two had argued back and forth until Pinkie suggested a competition idea; who could stomach the worst tasting thing she could come up with.

Now, of course, under normal circumstances, this would be nothing new. Everyone knew how competitive Rainbow Dash and Applejack were. And as for Pinkie, well, Twilight had learned very early on that it was not a good idea to question her poofy haired friends eccentric actions(as tempting as it often was for the young scientist.) No, what really flabbergasted Twilight was that the rest of her friends were not only OK with the idea, but had decided to start taking bets on who would win!

‘And to top it all off, they had to drag me away from the library right when I was in the middle of reading Advanced Calculus,’ Twilight muttered to herself.

The girls were currently parked around the grounds near the front of the school. They’d set up a folded table, and on top of it were two plastic cups, and a pitcher full of a very noxious looking concoction. Twilight took one sniff of it and immediately gagged.

“Bleugh. What did you put in this Pinkie?”

“Oh, an old can of surströmming, seaweed, a bunch of orange peels, canned spinach, oh and some dried mealworms.”

“Is that why you asked me if you could borrow a cup of mealworms yesterday,” asked Fluttershy.

“Yupperoony.”

“Well, I’d say you succeed in making a thoroughly disgusting beverage Darling,” remarked Rarity, who was currently trying not to barf herself. “Frankly I don’t envy you two having to drink this.”

“About that, please tell me one of you is willing to reconsider.,” Twilight begged to her two competitive friends.

“Hey no,” replied Applejack. “I ain’t no quitter.”

“Same here,” added Dash, who was itching to get started. “Come on Pinkie, poor that slop already!”

“Okie Doki Loki.”

“Eager to lose Dash,” teased A.J.

“Your the one whose gonna be spewing in a bush,” Dash shot back.

“Oh for the love of… Sunset, would you please talk some sense into them?”

“You do know I already bet ten bucks that A.J. would win, right,” replied the fiery haired former unicorn.

“So? No competition means you don’t risk losing your money! Seriously, I cant be the only one to think this is really, really stupid!”

“Oh relax Twilight, it’ll be fine,” remarked Pinkie, as she finished poring the second cup of barf smoothie. “Alright girls you know the rules. First one to hurl loses. You girls ready with the timers,” she called to Sunset and Fluttershy.

“Yup.”

“Mhmm.”

“Seriously,” cried Twilight, throwing her arms up in disbelief.

“Alright you two,” began Pinkie. “On your mark...”

The two athletic girls immediately steeled themselves for the task at hand.

“Get set…”

Said hands twitched in anticipation, determined to be the first to grab their respective cups.

“Aaaannd… CHUG!”

Quick as a flash, the two girls immediately grabbed their drinks, slamming them back as fast as they possible could.

“Come on Dash, you can do it,” cheered Fluttershy, as loudly as she could(which wasn’t really that loud, but still.)

“Your doing great Darling”, Rarity called to Applejack.

Twilight meanwhile, just pinched her brow in frustration.

Quite soon the two competitive girls had swallowed the last of their drinks; slamming their cups back down onto the tab, as the waited to see who would lose their lunch first.

They didn’t have to wait long. Almost immediately, Dash’s stomach let out an unhappy groan, as it attempted to violently eject the junk she’d just put into it. Dash immediately clenched her belly with one hand, while slamming the other over her mouth in an attempt to keep herself from puking.

“What’s the matter Dash? Your beverage not agreein’ with you,” teased Applejack, who was very much enjoying the prismatic haired girls discomfort.

“No, I’m fine,” muttered Dash, as her cheeks began to turn green “You?”

“Perfectly fine,” the farm girl replied confidently.

And a bit prematurely, as almost immediate after she said that, she felt her own stomach protesting against the disgusting drink. It took every ounce of willpower she had not to toss her cookies right then and there.

If Rainbow hadn’t been battling with her own stomach, she probably would have fired off a smart remark at Applejack about losing her lunch. As it stood now though, she was a little more concerned with the fact that said stomach had started forcing her bile up her esophagus. “Time?”

“Thirty seconds,” replied Sunset.

‘Come on, just a little bit longer,’ Dash thought to herself.

It was now Applejacks time to turn green as a leaf, as she felt her own bile snake its way up her throat. Rainbow, meanwhile, had begun tasting her own puke, as she felt her bile splash her tongue.

‘Oh no you don’t,’ she thought to herself, as she swallowed hard, send her bile back down into her stomach. “Bleugh.”

Applejack did the same, though for her it was even more arduous, as the taste immediately sent her back mentally to spring break. “Time?”

“Fifty-four seconds,” replied Fluttershy.”

Dash’s stomach decided it had had enough, and this time pushed even harder to empty it’s contents. “Hurrp!” Dash couldn’t hold back the flood any longer, and she sprinted to a nearby bush to hurl.

“And Applejack wins! Whats her time,” asked Pinkie.

“A minute and three-point-four seconds. Darn,” muttered Fluttershy.

“Ha, in your face,” shouted Sunset. “Pleasure doing business with you Rarity.”

“Likewise Darling,” replied the fashionista, before walking over to Applejack. “I knew you could do it.”

“Heh… Thanks….Rares,” replied Applejack with a week smile, before slumping her head on the table and groaning. “Ugh Ah think Ah’m gonna be sick.”

Twilight huffed as she went to find a couple of water bottles for her two friends to wash the nasty taste out of their mouths. All the while, one particular though pushed its way to the forefront of her mind as she muttered aloud, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

Author's Note

So while this isn't my first Fanfic in general, it's the first both on this sight as well as anything my little pony Related. Inspiration is two-fold, one being Poison Claws Wait... Horses Can't Vomit? The other being gmen15's The Rain-bow Incident. Also in case your wondering, the book Twilight was trying to read is real. Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it.