Day 1
A new guard. Blueblood looked him up and down and sniffed, disinterestedly. They replaced them so quickly and efficiently. Often they looked so similar that he could barely tell they’d changed at all. He wondered sometimes if they just sent them back with a slightly different hairstyle, to spite him.
“Name.” He stated.
“Flash Sentry, Your Majesty,” said the orange earth pony, straightening up and giving a textbook salute. “Royal guard,” he added, somewhat unnecessarily.
“Flash Sentry,” Blueblood repeated, forgetting it immediately. “Well the first thing you need to know is that your name is now superfluous. From this point forth, you are simply ‘Guard.’ Understand? I expect you to attend to my security and my needs with perfect precision, ruthless efficiency, and zero questions asked. Do I make myself clear?”
“Perfectly, Your Majesty,” the stallion said, expression completely unchanging. He was well disciplined, Blueblood thought begrudgingly. He would probably last at least a couple of days. Perhaps longer. One of the boring ones, then. Well if he was to have a guard, the ones who just faded into the background were hardly the worst.
“Where did you serve prior to this, Guard?”
“Under the Princess of the Night, as part of her personal guard, Your Majesty.” Blueblood raised an eyebrow, interest momentarily piqued. Luna was notoriously selective about those who attended to her, arguably even more than he was. Rather than rotating through them at rapid speeds though, she chose few, and rarely gave them up. Only soldiers of the highest skill were even considered for the position, let alone actually selected for the honour.
“Not any more?” He queried.
“No, Your Majesty. The Princess of the Night informed me that although she was greatly satisfied with my service, she did not feel as though the position was where my path truly lay. She said that she had looked into my dreams and seen that my talents would better serve a pony other than herself, and that she could not find it within herself to tamper with destiny. So she relieved me of my duty under her, and as the position was open, I was reinstated here, Your Majesty.”
“Yes, that does sound like Auntie Luna,” Blueblood murmured. “Forever working with some mysterious and secret purpose. Well Guard, I hardly imagine this is where your ‘path truly lies,’ but you had better work as though it was. Oh, and cut it with the ‘Your Majesty’ thing. ‘Sir’ will do just fine.”
The orange pony gave the smallest inclination of his head. “As you wish, Sir.”
“Good,” Blueblood said. “Now if you’ll excuse me. I have a garden party to prepare for.”
He didn’t seem too bad, he thought, as he sorted through his cufflinks. Maybe he’d give him a week or so before firing him.
Day 2
Blueblood rarely left royal administration meetings with anything resembling energy. They were designed, in his opinion, to sap the will to live out of all who attended them. But he had just so happened to pick up an interesting titbit of information as it finished, one which he wasn’t sure concerned him or intrigued him more. What he did know was that it had to be addressed. Immediately.
“Guard!” he called, striding into his chambers.
“Yes Sir.” The orange pony was there instantly, arrival as silent as a ghost. “Your appointments for this evening are laid out on the bureau, as requested. And a message was sent from Her Majesty the Princess of the Sun to inform you that she expects to see you at the upcoming royal wedding. Should I write out a reply or-”
“Do you know where I’ve just been, Guard?” Blueblood interrupted, eyeing him icily. The other pony made no indication of annoyance, simply giving a sharp nod.
“Yes Sir. You’ve been in a meeting concerning the review of the reconstruction of the east castle wing. From what I gather, no motions were passed and the decision was delayed for another six months.”
“Well, yes-” Blueblood said, slightly taken aback. “But the meeting itself is not what I was referring to. As chance would have it, I ran into my Aunt shortly after it ended. Your former overseer, Princess Luna. We made a brief amount of small talk, and after a while, I happened to bring up the subject of my current guard, who had so mysteriously been dropped from her charges. And do you know what she told me?”
The guard was silent, confirming Blueblood’s suspicions, but he didn’t give him a chance to reply as he triumphantly continued.
“She told me that no such pony existed. When I pressed the matter further, insisting that surely it must just have slipped her mind, she assured me that not only did she not recall ever choosing an orange earth pony guard to serve her, but that of the guards she did have, she almost exclusively hired bat-ponies. A fact that I quite forgot, but which is quite true, now that I think about it. In other words, that tale you spun me was completely and utterly fabricated. What do you have to say to that?”
The guard nodded his head. “You are quite right, Sir. It was entirely fabricated.”
The reaction had Blueblood at a bit of a loss. He wasn’t entirely sure what he’d expected, but it had been more along the lines of a tearful breakdown, or maybe an angry denial. He had caught this… mere soldier red-hooved. So why didn’t he seem at all phased?
“You admit your deception?”
“Yes Sir. In all honesty, I was expecting you to refute the tale sooner.”
“You did not, in fact, serve under Auntie Luna?”
“I did not.”
“...then what did you do, prior to this?”
For the briefest second Blueblood could have sworn he saw a spark of mirth in the guard’s otherwise emotionless eyes, but it was gone before he knew it.
“Well Sir, I’m not actually a soldier at all,” He began, matter of factly. “I am actually the last in the line of a band of cutthroat pirates, well renowned throughout the Celestial Sea. We ran into hard times recently, Sir. The golden age of piracy is long since over, as I am sure you’re aware. The pickings on the open waves are slim. With his last breath, my captain, rest his soul, told me that the only chance we had was to pull off the greatest heist that had ever been done, and plunder the Equestrian palace of its gold and jewels. Naturally, I rose to the challenge. I infiltrated the ranks of the royal guards, and have been waiting years for the perfect time to strike. That is, Sir, until you blew my cover, with your keen intellect and sharp mind.”
Blueblood felt faint. “A… Pirate?”
The guard nodded. “Arrr. Sir.”
“Here to steal…”
“Gold and jewels, Sir. Maybe the Elements of Harmony, if I have the time. Concerning the more pressing matter of your response to Her Majesty, should I set out your writing equipment or…”
Prince Blueblood was already gone, doors to his chamber left swinging by his abrupt departure. Flash Sentry could hear him in the distance, galloping through the stately halls of the palace, calling for a guard as though Discord himself had appeared before him. The guard listened for a moment, before busying himself arranging a quill and parchment on the Prince’s desk, allowing himself one small, secretive smile.
Blueblood was back within the hour. Rather than the panicked and wild state he had left in, he now held himself with some kind of smouldering rage. Though it wasn’t, the guard noted, without some trace of furious embarrassment.
“Captain Armor has briefed me on the situation, Guard,” He snapped, as soon as the door closed. “Including your… unusual condition.”
“Oh yes, Sir?” The guard replied, emotionless as ever. “And which condition would that be?”
“Your… tendency to tell falsehoods. Particularly pertaining to your past.” The Prince’s brow furrowed. “Wait, do you mean to tell me that you have problems besides that?”
“Regrettably so, Sir.” The guard gave an unhappy sigh. “Tragically, alongside the condition you have just mentioned, I was also involved in an incident as a colt, which meant the entire left side of my body had to be replaced with a realistic metal prosthetic-”
“Ah! You’re doing it now!” Blueblood jumped up, hoof pointed accusingly at his guard. “That’s not true!”
The guard’s eyebrow raised, almost imperceptibly. “Yes Sir. You are correct.”
“I can’t believe this,” Blueblood groaned, getting to his hooves and beginning to pace back and forth. The captain of the guard, held in such high regard by the Princesses, had laughed at his tale. Found it endlessly amusing. Apparently this level of… foolish shenanigans was just normal for his guard. The other guards and many of the palace staff knew about it, found it entertaining, even. It didn’t impede his duties, and he was reportedly remarkably skilled as a guard and soldier, so what harm could it do? Well, no-one had thought to tell him. He thought of his frantic dash through the normally silent palace halls, and the long, red-faced walk back, hearing the barely stifled-giggles of the maids, and heat returned to his cheeks. He turned sharply to the guard.
“I hope you realise you’ve caused me a great deal of embarrassment through your actions.”
“My deepest apologies, Sir.”
“If it wasn’t for Captain Armor’s insistence that I cannot have such ‘fine material a guard’ removed from your position over something so… trivial,” he spat out, “Then you would be gone from my service this instant. As it is, I am forced to allow you to remain.”
“I’m glad to hear that, Sir.”
“Yes well I’m not,” Blueblood snapped. “I’ll be watching you like a hawk, Guard. The first time you slip up while working for me, you’ll be out, by the scruff of your neck. I will do everything in my power to ensure it.”
“I would expect nothing less, Sir.” The guard met his eyes with what could have been interpreted as a challenging glance. Blueblood gulped. Had he thought that this pony was boring? He had been wrong. He was infuriating.
“I need a drink,” he said, wearily. “Cancel my other appointments for the afternoon, and deal with my admin. And don’t disturb me until tomorrow.”
The guard made to leave, but something made Blueblood call out one last time.
“Guard. What did you say your name was again?”
The orange pony turned to look at him. “Flash Sentry, Sir. Have a good evening, Sir.”
Day 3
Flash Sentry.
Blueblood was very quickly learning to despise the name.
“I cannot believe-” he seethed, “that no one thought to inform me of this. Surely I should be the first to know that my guard is some sort of- well, some kind of-”
“The term is generally understood to be compulsive liar, Sir-”
“You be quiet, guard!” The prince snapped, and Flash Sentry dutifully clamped his mouth shut. “You’re no better than the rest of those good-for-nothing paperweights in the Royal Guard admin department. At any point you could have told me that you weren’t telling the truth. You could even have just… well, I don’t know, not applied for a position guarding royalty? Why didn’t you?”
Flash said nothing.
“Oh for the Sun’s- you may speak to answer me when I ask you a question, Guard.”
“My apologies Sir. I thought it wouldn't be a problem.”
“In exactly what scenario, may I ask, is there any possible way that this wouldn’t be a problem?”
“Well Sir.” Royal Guard Flash Sentry rubbed the back of his head.”I consulted with many of your former guards about the nature of your character and mannerisms. They assured me that I would be in the presence of a mind which put the majority of the kingdom to shame. I felt confident that a dazzling wit such as your own would have no issue discerning the truth amongst any lies that I inadvertently let slip.”
“Hmph.” Blueblood said. He mulled over the statement for a moment. ‘Dazzling Wit’ was a nice way to describe himself. Maybe he’d borrow that one in future. “That's true, of course. It's nice to know that you’re capable of telling the truth occasionally.”
He turned to look at himself in the mirror, fortunately missing the upturning in the corners of Flash Sentry’s mouth as he replied.
“I try my best, Sir.”
Day 4
“Tell me another.”
Flash Sentry nodded. Very well, Sir. In truth, I am a patissier from the outer reaches of Southern Prance. I was always a dab hoof at icing cakes, and one day it struck me that this skill could easily be applied to more practical manners, within the royal military.”
Blueblood looked at him, flummoxed. “Your… cake baking skills got you into the Royal Guard?”
“I couldn’t have put it better myself, Sir.”
“Well that one is obviously a lie,” Blueblood muttered. He sighed and returned to his advisory notes. “Honestly, I was hoping to glean even a sliver of the truth of your origin from all of these falsehoods you insist on spouting, but if this is the quality of drivel you insist on serving, then-”
He paused to dip his quill in ink, but found the well dry. Flash was there in an instant, filling the little pot before Blueblood could even give the command.
“... thank you, guard,” he said, begrudgingly. “You do make good use of yourself, I’ll give you that. It is the silver lining on top of your many, many flaws.”
They continued in silence for a couple of minutes.
“Alright. I have to ask,” Blueblood finally said. “Explain just how cake icing is in any way shape or form useful for military practices.”
Flash gave a little bow. “I am thrilled you asked, Sir. Naturally, my skill at manipulating an icing bag translated perfectly to the practical wielding of a lance. It was said my sparring partners in Guard trainees felt as though they were being lightly decorated as I battered them to submission.”
Blueblood snorted. “Well that only solidifies my earlier conclusion. Not true in the slightest.”
“You see through my every move,” Flash conceded, as he took the completed stack of documents and handed the Prince another.
Blueblood groaned as the paperwork landed on his desk.
“No more. It will be the end of me.”
The guard consulted the position of the sun outside. “I’m sure your schedule could allow for a rest of a few minutes, if you so wished.”
“I do so wish.” Blueblood pushed himself off of the desk and made his way out onto the balcony of the royal study. Flash Sentry followed.
The Prince leaned on his balcony and surveyed the city of Canterlot lying far below. The ponies scurrying about their lives in the streets were as small as pinpricks, barely independently visible amongst the maze like houses and traffic moving to and fro. Many ponies might have taken this breathtaking view of life’s complexity with some sense of wonder, or humility.
“How wonderful it is to be so much bigger than those insects,” Blueblood insightfully mused.
Flash said nothing, but he gave an awkward cough which Blueblood suspected may have contained a choice word. He glared at him.
“My deepest apologies Sir,” the guard confessed. “I’m afraid that due to my long standing chronic illness of the lungs, I am often forced to cough at inopportune-"
“Save it,” said Blueblood, and Flash dutifully shut up. But it did make Blueblood think. “Guard, I have to ask. I’m curious. Is this… condition of yours a medical one? Or just something you inflict on those around you by choice?”
The guard was quiet for a moment, before saying “The former.”
“Hmph,” mused Blueblood. “No way to tell if that’s the truth or not I suppose.”
“It’s true,” said Flash, in a tone of voice that the prince hadn’t heard before. He turned, startled by the sincerity of it. “I can swear that to you.”
Blueblood regarded him in silence for a moment. Then he smiled a victorious smile. “Finally. An inch of truth. Believe me, guard, I’ll wring your whole life story out of you some day.”
Flash smiled back, which somehow the prince wasn’t quite expecting. Had he seen the guard smile before? “I believe you, Sir.”
Day 5
“The whooooole of Equeeeeeestria hates meeeeeee…”
“As much as you have a very pleasant baritone, Sir,” Flash said, as he gently followed along beside the Prince, “This does happen to be a residential area. If you continue to showcase your singing talents for the world to see, somepony may end up taking offence.”
“Offence?” The Prince wheeled on him and gasped, long and deep. “But I’m their Prince! Their only Prince! A Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-”
Flash Sentry, who normally trod with such precision and certainty, happened to stumble at this point, coincidentally knocking into Prince Blueblood and ending the impromptu serenade of this particular district of Canterlot.
"Ouch," complained the Prince, knocking back into Flash Sentry in retaliation. "Watch where you're walking, Guard. Ponies will begin to think you've had too much to drink."
"I'll keep their opinions in mind, Sir. I would hate to make a bad impression."
"It was very nice drink though," Blueblood mused.
They kept walking, eventually arriving back at the palace outskirts. It was quiet, almost midnight, and the grounds were largely deserted, save for the Prince and his Guard.
"I really must stop attending those high brow events run by Upper Crust," the Prince mumbled, as he shuffled along. He veered left, off the track up to the palace doors, and wobbled into one of the palace flower gardens. Flash followed dutifully. "They're lovely, and the food is so nice, and the drink is soooo nice, but some of the ponies are just horrible. They're horrible to me."
"Perhaps it was because you insulted them to their faces, Sir."
Blueblood thought on it. "No, I'm afraid you're wrong," he sighed. "It is because of their failing moral characters."
Flash nodded. "Your insight is, as always, enlightening."
"Speaking of failing moral characters!" Blueblood turned on his guard and smirked at him. "You are quite the tricky puzzle, Guard. I still have no idea who you are or where you're from."
"I'd be happy to tell you Sir," Flash immediately replied. "In truth, I come from another dimension entirely, filled to the brim with tall gangly creatures who perambulate on an unnatural two legs, instead of four."
Blueblood shuddered. "Chilling. Continue."
"Despite my comfortable life as one of these very aliens, I one day happened upon a mystical portal. I fell through it, and found myself in the form you see before you this very day."
Ever the perfect audience, Blueblood gasped.
"Since then I've been trying desperately to return to the realm I escaped from, but to no avail. The portal back is a closely guarded national secret."
The two of them sat in silence and considered it.
"False. Outlandish even for you," Blueblood eventually said. Flash dipped his head.
"It was based off an old foals campfire tale I once heard."
"Lot of rubbish." Blueblood laughed. "But entertaining nonetheless."
They continued to walk amidst the closed off flowers in their beds, petals tightly shut against the lunar glow from above.
"Do you know, Guard," Blueblood started, "Despite your many many many flaws, I think you're not as bad as you could be."
"Is that so, Sir?"
The Prince nodded a couple of times. "Yes. Absolutely. My other guards were so rude to me. I knew they didn't like me. And they talked about me behind my back. Gossip travels in circles in Canterlot Castle. It always came back to me."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Sir."
Blueblood studied him. "I think you are sorry, too," he said, quietly. "Thats the difference between you and them. You lie all the time, but you mean the little things. I don't know much about you but I can tell that."
Flash looked back at the Prince and smiled. "I think you may have had a little too much, Sir," he said, walking over and propping a wing up by Blueblood's side. "Perhaps its time to head back inside."
"I like you a lot, Guard."
The statement was sudden, and cut through the quiet night air like a knife. Blueblood felt a lot more aware of his surroundings, and a lot less inebriated all of a sudden.
Flash Sentry was looking at him in a way that Blueblood hadn't seen him look at anypony before. It was soft, and gentle, and ... there was something else, as well.
"I like you a lot too, Prince," he said.
He started to move forwards, and may have said more beyond that, but Blueblood turned and fled, just as the clock began to strike midnight.
Day 6
Blueblood was not accustomed to taking long walks in the moonlight. The night was cold, and the gloom around the castle was thick and dark. Normally he would never be found out at a time like this, and yet he had needed space, and privacy. Strangely there was no privacy to be found within the castle walls, and so he was forced to remain outside. Alone with his thoughts.
He had a lot to think about.
"Sir," came a quiet voice from above, and Blueblood cursed internally as the focus of many of those thoughts made his way down towards him, drifting gently downwards on bronze wings in the cool night air. Hiding from a pegasus was never going to have worked in the Castle Grounds.
"Guard," he said. His throat felt dry, and his voice sounded hoarse. Evidently he had drank too much- he didn't need a medical diagnosis to tell him that. "I thought I ordered you to leave me alone."
"Actually, Sir, you didn't order me to do anything at all," the Guard said. He sounded apologetic. Good, Blueblood thought bitterly, although he found himself hard pressed to think of the reason he should be apologising. "You simply turned tail and ran without saying anything at all."
"Oh, so now you're struck by a sudden urge to tell the truth?" Blueblood spat. "How very convenient for you."
Flash Sentry winced. "Sir, that's not-"
"You are so, so... troublesome, Guard." He exhaled a breath that he felt like he had been holding in for weeks.
Flash Sentry, for once, had no response. He stared at the ground between the two of them, not even making eye contact.
"Do you truly want to know about my life?" He asked, suddenly. The Prince was taken aback.
"Yes," he found himself saying, despite himself.
"My childhood wasn't good." Flash Sentry said. "My mother- no, I mean, my father- he wasn't- or- or rather what he did to me-"
He stopped. A single tear ran down a cheek.
"Lying was the easiest way out of every situation," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "It's safety, for me. I make up my past with lies because I can't face the truth."
"I-I'm sorry," Blueblood said. And he realised he was. Truly.
"But that's the past, Sir." Flash's voice was suddenly firmer. "It's behind me. I would ask that you don't judge me on my background, but on what you know of me now."
"How about what you just told me?" Blueblood found himself asking. "What about what I said- what you said, in the gardens?"
"Ah, Sir." Flash Sentry smiled a small, precious smile at the Prince. "I'd better not talk, lest you get confused by another lie."
And leaning upwards, he pressed his lips against Blueblood's.
The Prince felt the world melt away as he leaned back into it, savouring the moment before it was broken off by a little gasp from the both of them.
"I actually built my entire life around marrying into Royalty, Sir" Flash said, matter-of-factly, as they leant back. "And now I'm one step closer to achieving that goal. Now the crown is at last within-"
Blueblood cut him off, thinking that for once, he would not mind if that lie were true.
Day 7
In the end, Prince Blueblood decided against replacing royal guard Flash Sentry.
As he put in a letter to the royal guards admin: "They had worked out an arrangement."
