And then ..FO:E?!

by AdAstra

Rating: mature
Tags: Science Fiction, Profanity, Adventure, Griffons, Violence, Crossover, Death, Fallout, Human, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Other
Length: 6583

Where on an expedition something becomes very weird and the crew of a certain airship get sent to an alternate crapsack version of equestria, one ravaged by the balefires of war.

In the main Timeline the Expedition went the way it was planned. Here however a very bored void dweller decided it would be more fun to see the crew of the Airship struggle in a world both familiar and unknown to them (except for the local human that is). Will the battle hardened crew have what it takes to survive or will they be consumed by the wasteland? Only time (and the hand of the author) will tell. Not exactly the homecoming many of the crew had envisioned. Well at least this version of Equestria isn't boring that much is for certain.

Be sure to check out the OG Fallout: Equestria by Kkat or any Audiobook version of it on YT if you're lazy (like me).

Additional Tags:
[Displaced], Serious Story (not really) with a crack premise (crack), I still have no Idea what I'm doing, this is a crack/shitfic that takes itself seriously in it's own ridiculousness (but not really), this is an AU to FO:E, largely Improvised story & I lost a bet and now I have to finish this story.

Additional X-over Elements:
Resident Evil, HL2: Entropy Zero 2, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Fallout: New Vegas, Warhammer 40k & Rifts RPG

Published 2024-11-07 17:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-07 17:10:00 UTC

Adjusting to a Crapsack World and Schizo Tech

Author's Note

Intro!:
Hey Hey people Sseth here! (Nah I'm just messing with ya.) What a beautiful time to make.. terrible content.

And do check out FO:E's TV-Tropes Page it's pretty fun. Also the OG FO:E is gonna be the only Fallout: Equestria content I will count as canon, so if you were hoping to see your favorite FO:E story represented here you will be sorely disappointed.

Foreword!:
So here we are again. With another story of mine here on Fimfic. My last story was supposed to be my goodbye to Fimfic and to MLP in general, but I at least once wanted to write something FO:E related. So consider this my goodbye to FO:E and an alternate timeline to 'And then ..What?'. I have no delusions of being a great author, however I hope I'll manage to entertain you at the very least. And with that I hope you'll enjoy what you read. So I'll be honest with you folks, I have no Idea how long this'll take for me to finish, but we'll just start this party and see where it leads us. Hopefully somewhere fun.

Oh and once again, before I forget Arch_Magos_Boog_Trad this is your fault. Peace.

Adjusting to a Crapsack World and Schizo Tech

- R.O.B. (Random Omnipotent Being) the Merchant-

"Okay let's start at the start of starts then. Or at least how all the stories in some Multiverses ..or Omniverses ..Megaverses ..Outerverses ..whatever there are a lot of verses, started? Well anyways in the beginning there wasn't shit, nothing but void and darkness. And that is precisely how many of the beings that inhabited that darkness liked it.

Those beings as we know them now were the first void dwellers, beings of pure darkness and immense power. Then after an infinite eternity, something remarkable happened. Nobody precisely knows how, but either way the first Universe (at least in this corner of existence) was born.

Some among the later void dwellers speculate how it suddenly came into existence, theories range widely from one of the original void dwellers secretly or unknowingly creating it, to an outside entity enforcing it's will onto the darkness. Suffice to say many among the void dwellers were really ticked off. They made to destroy the first Universe but before they could do so more started popping up and well you guessed it more and more. A good number of them made it their mission to cleanse the darkness of the newborn Universes, luckily for you however that didn't happen as the void dwellers that found amusement in what was happening in those verses far outnumbered the ones that wanted to destroy them. So the destroyers were devoured by the amused ones, which grew more powerful as a result.

Now some of you might ask why such things are even important if at all to the story. And to that I tell you, it is important for this story to first understand something about void dwellers. Now there are different types of them out in the wide range of the verses. Some are absolute bastards, others just want to mess with people and some can be very helpful under the right circumstances. With that out of the way let me tell you the story of William, or Will Clark, the one that I have sent to a version of Equestria.

Will was a pretty ordinary dude from Britain that went to comic con dressed as a Death Korps of Krieg Guardsman armed with only his trusted shovel. He however made the mistake of buying a Maccabian Dueling Sword from my stall and was whisked away to Equestria forever. Now I would have let him return if he had found a way without angering my boss, but as I said rarely anyone has ever figured out how to do that, even if it is pretty simple in execution. But sadly for Will he never figured out what that something was, let alone that it was an option, in most timelines that is.

Here comes the really fun part. Timelines. I had a lot of fun watching Will in many a timeline don't get me wrong but that is where another player suddenly came in. This new player decided it would be funny to intervene in MY game and sent Will to ANOTHER other Equestria.

'WAIT! THAT'S ILLEGAL!' my mind helpfully provided. Sadly it wasn't exactly that, but I did strike a bargain with my interloper. If he can watch Will play out his new role in this new version of Equestria, then I am allowed to directly aid him. Simple enough don't you agree? Anyways I think I have explained the situation enough to you already. So without further ado let's begin."

-William Clark-

Hello my name is William, but most people just call me Will. It had been almost three years since my arrival in Equestria. During that time I had made friends, found a job, ousted the villain of G5, thus preventing that particular timeline and even had gotten the opportunity to go on a adventure. You know the usual stuff.

The adventure that I had thrown myself into had been meant as a voyage around the globe, which had been conceived by the mad griffin named Gerhart Gallert Grindwald. Who became one of my best friends. And we were sponsored by Princess Twilight herself along with the Canterlot Museum. We were to map out more lands, meet with new cultures and secure trade deals and artifacts for the Canterlot Museum. We were mostly successful in that endeavor. We just had a few, let's just say hiccups. You know THINGS happen.

Like running into cannibal ponies, or bloodthirsty lizard pirates, helping topple a false dynasty, killing a gargoyle necromancer tyrant king and freeing a smoking hot princess in the process.. and then running into ~~racist~~ british frogs, that swear like sailors. The usual stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Nope not here. NEVER.

Anyways. The Voyage was about to conclude as we came into viewing distance of the western edge of Equestria. That however was when things started to get weird. I meant even weirder.

Location: South Luna Sea near the City of Las Pegasus

So there I was on the deck of our Airship 'the Endurance', enjoying the crisp air kissing my face and my heart full of joy at the prospect of returning home after a two year voyage. I had many adventures in those years, but all things come to an end eventually. I just hoped my new relationship with Gina would stand the test of time. I could hardly wait to introduce her to Lyra or the guys of my O&O group. Spike and the boys would have a field day I am sure, me getting potentially married I still myself could barely believe it. I had done what almost every guy when they were boys dreamt of. I rescued a princess and was actively courting her. I was however taken from those thoughts by the pegasi outflyer returning unexpectedly.

"There is a storm approaching Captain! It looks pretty bad!" the pegasi outflyer yelled as he landed back unto the deck of the Endurance. He was meant to announce us to the City, however that clearly did not happen.

"What? How can that be? We had clear weather all day!" Captain Steelhoves questioned the grey colored, black maned unicorn stallion showing a clear scowl on his face.

"I don't know Captain." the pegasus said in clear irritation. "It's like it formed on its own out of nowhere!" That made no sense I decided. Because in Equestria the weather was all regulated by pegasi weather teams. So one forming on its own was quite frankly unheard of, perhaps with the exception in the everfree forest.

I tuned out the conversation that followed and leaned against the railing, producing a spyglass from my coat and started viewing the horizon. And true enough there was indeed a storm coming straight towards us, unusually fast I might add.

"Everyone grab a hold of something quick!" I proclaimed just as the storm was about to hit. "Prepare for a bumpy ass ride!" Luckily everyone listened and as I said grabbing hold of something sturdy or running below deck as all of a sudden the storm hit like a ..well storm. What do you expect me to say a freight train? It's a storm for crying out loud and that is what I am gonna describe it as.

All other sounds vanished from my perception as hurricane like winds rushed past my ears and my world became one of deathly cold against my face. I don't know how long I sat there clutching onto the railing for dear life and after what felt like an eternity, the winds stopped suddenly and without warning, releasing me back into the world. However I immediately realized something was off, as the very air itself felt wrong, like it was sick. Almost made me want to put on my gas mask and never take it off again.

I let go of my lifeline and scanned the deck of our Airship. The crew of the Endurance all managed to weather the storm, none seem to have been swept away. That being said I immediately noticed that it had turned Night and we were still within viewing distance of Las Pegasus, only that the city was bathed in artificial light now. I still had an uneasy feeling about all of this. Had we been time displaced or had the storm really been that long? Only one way to find out for sure.

I turned back to Captain Steelhooves and the pegasi outflyer. "Well. The storm is over." I began. "Time to do your job and announce us to the city." the outflyer gave the captain and me a quick salute and jumped off the ship's deck and flew into the air towards the city. Fifteen minutes later he returned to us thoroughly winded and was seemingly staring off into the distance. What had happened? Why was he acting so weird? And why does everything else around the city look like shit?! Like what in the fuck?! Looks like straight ass! Like fuckin dogwater!

"What happened sailor?" Captain Steelhooves asked the outflyer. The pegasus was seemingly in some kind of daze so I did the logical thing and bitchslapped him in the face. "Hey motherfucker! The captain asked you a question!" I yelled into his face. "What happened?!"

Rubbing his cheek he reoriented himself to us and finally spoke up. "Oh! Uhm! Right! The City ..it is mostly in ruins. And I was threatened at gunpoint sirs!"

I was confused at his proclamation. As Equestria was Schizo Tech on steroids, they didn't have guns. The only time I ever saw a gun was with the Gargoyles on the expedition and nowhere else. Sure we had cannons, but those were in this world an invention of the griffins not the ponies. And looking at Captain Steelhooves again it seemed he was just as confused as me.

"So they will not welcome us?" he asked in a bewildered tone.

"Oh they said they will, but.. but.." the outflyer began to stutter again.

"Out with it man!" I yelled once more starting to loose my patience.

"..They said that if we were to try anything they would kill us without hesitation sirs!" the outflyer said.

What?! Did he just say?! Why were they threatening to kill us? What has happened these past two years in Equestria?! What the fuck was going on?! Suffice to say I was positively seething with fury at this! Who do these ungrateful shits think they are?! Oh I was gonna show these disrespectful little twats who they are messing with! Like fuck are they gonna treat me or the rest of the crew like this when we were risking our necks for these past two years! And judging by the look on his face the Captain was inwardly just as furious as me at this blatant disrespect.

The Captain took one glance at me in turn and he must've seen how enraged I had gotten. "William I will do the talking on this one that's an order." he stated coolly, calm and collected. "Aye sir." I replied and walked off to my room in the airship. I needed to cool off, get my head straight. ..And later probably apologize to the outflyer for smacking the shit out of him.

After having cooled off and screamed my frustrations out in a pillow I headed back to deck. My girlfriend Gina, the former Gargoyle princess of Griothonia, was leaning on a railing of the airship, looking beautiful as ever. I took in her form then. Her midnight black hair, her heart shaped face with freckles, her emerald green eyes shining like jewels in the lights of the city below, her beautiful cream colored skin, her hourglass shaped figure that was hugged by a sailors tunic along with canvas pants and leather armor. A saber sheathed at her hip and a flintlock holstered. She must've felt my eyes on her and turned her gaze from the city below us to me, giving me a warm smile and beckoning me over.

I walked over next to her and held unto her right hand with my left one.

"This city is beautiful. I have never seen anything like it before." she began in her sweet melodic voice. "So many lights and colors. I never imagined something like this could exist."

"It must've had some troubles over the past two years." I said looking down at many of the broken streets of the city. "Back when we first 'set sail', so to speak, it wasn't like this before."

"How so Will?" she inquired tilting her head to the side to look at me. "Have you been here before?"

"No." I answered her truthfully. "But I know it wasn't this run down when we left." I chucked it up to this world's cartoon logic that it was this run down after two years of what must've been bad luck. I mean back on earth I've seen a lot of places both in the US and in Britain that looked like something straight out of a Mad Max movie.

"I'm sure the people of this city will find a way to make things better." she said with a smile on her face. Oh if she only knew. For the house always wins. "Perhaps they will." I thought out loud.

We were being led through the city by pegasi flyers to a building called ..'the lucky 40'? What is this knockoff New Vegas?

We were docked unto a very old looking airship port that seemed like it hadn't been used in over two hundred years or so, it looked very shabby, but it did it's job. Was all one could really ask for.

The Captain waved me over along with Killroy, one of the griffin windriders, and I gave my girlfriend one last kiss before going down the ramp with the two of them. We were greeted by several guards that had, to my surprise, modern looking firearms ready and pointed at us. Either in a telekinetic grip or strapped to their sides, which looked hilarious as fuck.

I had gone this over with a friend of mine back on earth. The problem was how does a pony do gun? I did the math and if math simply doesn't math, then what you end up with is something something magic nonsense coupled with bullshit cartoon logic. Or at least that was what I concluded. I mean ever since I had been cast into equestria my whole art style had changed. Now I look like I belong in Fortnite or something, but then again so does everything else in this corner of existence.

Had Equestria actually developed modern firearms while we were away? No that simply wasn't possible, then I mentally slapped myself because of course it was possible! Schizo Tech! SCHIZO TECH! REMEMBER?! That was when a robot rolled unto the port on one wheel. I was taken aback just how much this thing looked like a securitron from New Vegas.

What the fuck is going on?!

The monitor on the robot flickered to life and on it was, I kid you not, a ponified version of Mr House.

"Greetings Travellers. And Welcome to my city." the robot began to speak. "I must confess that I am surprised that a whole talon company showed up on my doorstep, yet I must also say that it is quite refreshing to see that there are also ponies among a mostly griffin crew. Intriguing to say the least. But where are my manners? My name is Mr House. Pleased to make your acquaintance." the knockoff Mr House ..Mr Horse? ..whatever finished.

"I am Captain Steelhooves." the captain began gesturing to himself and then to me and Killroy. "And these are William and Killroy, my co captain, and head of the guard respectively."

"How Interesting a pony and a non griffin with such a high rank in a talon company. And ..a 'Captain Steelhooves' what a coincidence." Mr House ..Horse? commented.

"Could you tell your goons to lower their weapons if you will please?" I asked as politely as I could as I was still furious. Yet many of the things he said put up some red flags in my head. Talon company? Yes I have heard that term before in the griffin kingdoms but never used in Equestria before. And Another Steelhooves? I needed answers.

Now it was Killroy who spoke. "Look sir ..Mr House. We are not some mercenaries. We work for the Princess herself. We are explorers not mercs."

There was a small silence then as the guards who still had their guns pointed at us exchanged glances with another unsure of what to make with this information.

"The Princess?" echoed Mr House. "Oh I see." he continued. "You are not from this time period are you?"

Now it was my companions turn to be confused when it all clicked in my head and my blood turned to ice.

Holy fuckin Crap! I'm in FO:E! Oh God please not in this shitshow!

"I see more explanations are in order." Mr House offered. "Guards lower your weapons." he commanded. "We are now in civilized company." and with that the robot turned and told us to 'follow him'.

We were lead to a great hall within the tower with a massive screen, which activated and on it was the visage of the ponified Mr House. "So." he began once more. "We have many things to discuss." There were four chairs set up before the screen which we took and then there was a long conversation, which lasted nigh until dawn. But we were soon joined by Gerhart who had been summoned to explain the situation as well, as he was the one that started the cascade of the voyage.

We told Mr House how the 'Princess', which I think he must've guessed was Luna, seeing as she was the one in charge in the FO:E timeline, luckily no one corrected him on that, sponsored us to circumvent the world. We left out just how much treasure we had on us right now, seeing that we were teleported 'two hundred years into the future'. I of course knew we were not just teleported forward in time, but also into a parallel universe. Boy was that gonna be a tough bitch to explain how I knew that. I did manage it in a speech to the most important members of the crew, I told them that I knew what world this was because there was a fictional 'book' about it back on earth, which was technically true. The rest however would need to be told after we left the city otherwise our secret would not remain secret for long.

We were welcomed by Mr House as honored guests to his casino. However he explained to us that neither his casino nor his city had the capacity to sustain our stay here. The City was already populated to its limit. Were given a roof over our heads, food on our plates and the port to dock the Endurance. We slept on the airship so we didn't really bother the casino too much during our stay.

We were not idle in our time in the city however. As we did get ourselves a few upgrades with some of the gold we had on us, we didn't pay much, but it did get us a lot.

Which included: Trapdoor rifles (which we converted from our muskets), Break action pistols (also converted from our flintlock pistols), 12 gauge double barrels shotguns and caravan shotguns, 12 gauge sawed off shotguns (double barrel), 700 nitro elephant guns (double barrel), Battle saddles for the pegasi and wristblades, six shot Revolvers, Griffin assault rifles, Gasmasks, Artificial robot hands for the pegasi, combat armor and much more. Most of the guns were of griffin make, but that wasn't surprising as most of the crew were griffins. Now we were more capable of blasting after that. The cannons however remained the same as those sadly could not be converted to something else.

Mr House gave us maps of Equestria in order to help us set ourselves up somewhere else. Preferably somewhere with an airfield. There were only a few candidates that came up. One was an airfield base that was sadly occupied by a chapter of steel rangers on the coast of the northern lunar sea. Another airfield was a bit to the north of manehatten, but we would have to check the location out first in order to see if it was even good to settle. And the last airfield was on an island called 'Mar Harbor' (ugh again with the pun names) ..in the celestial sea. The Island was rather isolated, had plenty of raw materials and was sparsely populated. Yet most importantly it was out of the way of most if not all of the wasteland's troubles. That was what sold me on that location. Like fuck did I wanna deal with any of the crazy ass bullshit that was happening in this world, I knew how absolutely ludicrous and edgy some of the stories got and I wanted no part of that.

I was put in a Crapsack World so I better start acting like it.

It wasn't lost on me just how ludicrous my life had gotten, I mean first I was thrown into a boring as fuck version of Equestria where I became an adventurer and went on a voyage of discovery, becoming quite a skilled swordsman in the process I might add, rescued princesses and talked with three foot toads that swore like sailors (some of which even came along with us, too bad they are now stuck in this crapsack world with us).

Yet before we moved out to new horizons we wanted to explore some of the surrounding area. Mr House advised against it, but we were stubborn. I guess we just wanted to get the measure of things.

So armed with a new Revolver, a 12 gauge sawed off and a 700 nitro elephant gun, I went out to explore into the wasteland helmet and gas mask equipped. My trusty shovel and adamantium saber never leaving my side.

I wasn't alone however as Killroy and Daisy 'Destroyer' Chains were with me. We decided not to venture out too far from the city, as ..if I remembered correctly the wastes start where cities like this 'New Pegasus' end.

Killroy had his moments as a little shit, but he wasn't nearly as useless as I sometimes jokingly make him out to be. The griffin still knew what he was doing. He looked like almost any other griff, with an eagle for his head and lions body. His black feathered head and his, amber eyes and caramel colored lions coat was what made him stand out.

As for Daisy ..he is scary with that five foot halberd of his. Just thinking about it makes me think of 'die die crucify by Powerwolf'. That Unicorn must've slaughtered at least a third of the cannibal ponies on the voyage with that halberd of his. Spinning it like a rotor blade. He was completely clad in plate armor no less, and not the shining gold of the normal royal guards, but a steel gray made of mithril. He had come along with us because he got fired from the royal guard for being too violent. He had a blonde mane and pure white coat and his cutie mark was a halberd.

We were walking down this ruined and cracked road in what was once the outer city of Las Pegasus stumbling over ruined carts and carriages all the way. Freakin Schizo Tech. Have enough magical knowhow to create
Magitek Nukes, Robots and other gizmos, but never invented a freaking car. Eventually we heard a commotion down one street, laughter and gunshots echoing through the ruined city. We peaked around the corner of one of the ruined brick buildings and saw the sight of a dog chained to a post being shot at with pipe guns. A bunch of raider scum seeming to enjoy themselves as they tortured and shot the poor dog.

I whispered to my two companions to get ready for a fight. We were saving this dog. I took aim with my elephant gun at the raider that was currently laughing his ass off and disassembled his cranium with a shot of 700 nitro. The shot was as loud as a cannon and all the rest of the raiders were now on high alert all beginning to shoot in our direction.

"Fucking shoot them! Kill that freak!" screamed what I guessed was their leader.

A lucky shot grazed my left leg and it started to bleed. I bit through the pain and went back into cover.

Daisy was less interested in his new guns and only wanted to swing his halberd around. And unfortunately for them, some of the Raiders obliged him judging by the sound of a steel halberd sinking its blade into flesh as they came into striking distance. The shots they aimed at him pinging of his armor as if they were nothing.

Killroy on the other hand was loving his new griffin assault rifle and began gunning raiders down left, right and center. Not to be outdone by my two companions I unsheathed my adamantium dueling sword and un holstered my new Revolver, sprinting out of cover and unloaded six shots into an equal number of Raiders, their skulls popping like overripe oranges. Now that the horde had been thoroughly diminished I sprinted at what I presumed to be the Leader of this band of Scum, ignoring the pain in my leg all the while. For he was bigger than the others and better armed. As I swung my sword down he moved to parry with his Ripper. Unfortunately for him my sword sliced through his weapon despite the integrity of his block and into his skull, thus killing him, proving that yes.. I am now more capable of killing Raiders and surviving the post apocalypse.

Silence reigned as we had killed all the Raiders. The dog however still growled at us and was still severely wounded, understandable from his position. I moved a bit closer to him and he started to bark. So I re holstered my weapons after flicking the blood off my blade. I went down to one knee and began to speak with the canine. It was a shepherd dog.

"Shh. It's alright buddy." I began to say moving a bit closer. "I'm not going to hurt you see." I began to untie him from the chain. And surprisingly enough he didn't bite me.

After having untied the chain he also didn't bolt off. ..weird. He just stared at me expectantly or rather he was staring at my bleeding leg. I pulled out a healing potion and downed some of it, moving my gas mask up so I could drink. My leg healed immediately. I went to give the rest of the potion to the dog, but in that moment I heard a metallic tinging sound. The bullets that the Raiders shot the dog with were pushed out of the canines body! The wounds all closing on their own! The dog had a freaking healing factor! Wicked.

I knew that the animals in this world were semi sentient, so I asked the dog. "Wanna come with me? ..Dogmeat?". Dogmeat let out a happy bark at that, clearly happy with his new name. I took that as a yes and now the Endurance had a new crewmate. We headed back to 'New Pegasus' and to the airship.

Gina was cross with me for getting injured but completely forgot about it upon seeing the dog. The rest of the crew were enamored with the pupper. Dogmeat was a good boy, the bestest boy. ..Dogmeat should've been in the OG FO:E now that I think about it.

And with that we packed our shit and we were off to new horizons. Leaving the city behind and off to our soon to be new home.

Here's to hoping that the next couple of months will be quiet ones. Sadly for us they weren't as we were soon about to discover.

The trip to the east coast of Equestria was thankfully largely uneventful. ..At certain parts that was. At one point the captain wanted to take us above the clouds so our magitek star charter would be of use to us, but I warned against it because of the Enclave. Because they would likely kill us all if they found us. It did take some time to fully convince the other crewmembers of my plan not to attract the enclave, but eventually I succeeded after I told them why I knew all this stuff.

It was very difficult to explain why I knew what I knew without making myself seem like a crazy person, so I came up with the lie that my homeworld monitored alternate realities and many of the people there knew a lot of stuff that they reasonably shouldn't. There were varied reactions to my fake explanation. There was disbelief, anger, amazement and even denial, however we did go along with my plan in the end. Thank God because I didn't want to eat Magic Lasers for breakfast. No thank you!

Of course I knew all this stuff because I read the book, but I could hardly tell them that now can I? They'd think I had gone crazy or something.

Until further ado, our star charter, was rendered inoperable, practically defunct, because it simply didn't work under that thick layer of clouds. ..now it was just a fancy piece of garbage.

We reached Canterlot within a week or so, the city encased in a thick pink bubble. A pink cloud hung firmly in the air inside the bubble. We decided to leave the place be and move on, there was nothing for us here, except unkillable ghouls, magical bullshit radiation and death.

In another week we had sailed through the sky towards the northern edge of manehatten, the airfield which had been described to us laid out below. We landed there and saw that all the hangars were looking like absolute dogwater, they were completely wrecked, save for one. Where a small surprise waited for me and Killroy as we were exploring the only intact hangar on the airfield, it had been stripped clean. But we found the entrance to a Stable with the number 13 painted on it. We were just about to leave, seeing as there was nothing for us here, when the entrance to the knockoff vault opened and out came a unicorn pony in a vault/stable suit with a 10mm pistol holstered at his hip and a knockoff pipboy above his left forehoof. He had a forest green coat, sapphire blue eyes and a dirty blonde mane. He looked frail, somewhat pathetic and weak of body overall. Suffice to say he was not an impressive sight at all.

"G-Greetings." he started to say, nervousness clear in his voice. "The Overstallion has tasked me with the matter of diplomacy.. in regards to your terms of leaving." ..What? Is he saying we are being held hostage or something?

"Are you holding us hostage bruv?" I asked and the stallion was confused for a moment before realizing what he just said. He seemed to sputter and trip over his own words then as he tried to explain ..something.

Frustrated I let out a sigh. "What's your name?" I asked him with a slight bit of annoyance in my voice.

"I-I-I am Joe Buck!" he almost yelled ..damn was this guy nervous ..what's next? Is he gonna tell me that his mom's name was 'Joe Mama'? I guess 'Joe Buck' was just the pony version of John Doe, yeah very well could be, shame we'll never know.

I facepalmed. "Look Joe. What is it precisely that you want?" I asked once again.

"Overseer the Overstallion would like you to leave our Airfield. ..if that is okay with you?" he clarified at last and got nervous again at the last second.

I actually laughed a bit at that. Then Killroy took the initiative from me as I was still busy laughing. "One. Do you use your airfield? Two. You live underground right, so why not have us have the airfield above? And Three. Are you asking or telling us to leave?"

Joe seemed nervous to answer once again and we heard a loud sigh coming from behind Joe as another unicorn stallion stepped into view. He wore another stable suit, had a pipbuck above his left foreleg, had a cream colored coat, brown eyes and dirty blonde hair. I shit you not he looked exactly like the Overseer from Fallout 1! "It's alright Joe. I'll do the talking." the stallion stated and Joe hung his head in shame. "Hello I am Overseer the Overstallion of Stable 13."

I had recomposed myself by then as we were joined by Gerhart and Gina, who had come looking for us. We asked once more what they wanted from us. Overseer said that they only wanted us to leave them in peace, not to for us to leave, so Joe got that all mixed up before. Honestly I kinda felt bad for Joe. He only tried to do what his Overseer ..I mean 'Overstallion' ..whatever wanted. Yeah he failed spectacularly but still.

We were not really interested in this airfield so there was no real problem here, but we still needed to do some repairs on the Endurance and that was what we told them. They agreed to let us do our thing and we leave them in peace, however as a sign of good will they also gave us their surplus of pipbucks, one of which I took for myself and it looked exactly like a pipboy from Fallout 3, what a surprise. And the promise of trade should we succeed in claiming an airfield of our own. The fact that I now have a HUD in my vision at all times whenever I wear my new magitek pipboy will take some time to get used to.

With that settled we took off to 'Mar Harbor' or how some of the crew liked to call it 'Far Harbor', which kinda stuck and now everyone calls it like that.

It took us another week or so to reach our destination of knockoff Far Harbor or Mar Harbor as the locals call it and unto the empty airfield in the middle of the island. Unlike the last this one was not in ruins. The hangars were operable if a little rusty. The airfield was fenced off and empty and ready for use, well aside from us having to clear out the foliage and whatnot first.

As we were making ourselves at home a surprise waited for us in one of the hangars. ..or rather someone. Someone I hadn't seen in over three years.

The Merchant with his stall.

"Welcome! What took ya so long huh?" he said cheerfully his arms open as if in greeting his words echoing in the spacious and mostly empty hangar. Oh buddy I'll show you 'welcome'.

This was the motherfucker that put me into Equestria and then this mess to begin with!

I advanced on him with my hand on my holstered revolver I still faintly heard Gina's footsteps behind me, following me and clinging to my left arm and Dogmeat growling to my right side and ready to pounce.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put a bullet between your eyes right now! Or god help me I'll-" he held up one hand placatingly and I halted. Both our eyes met then and I could hear Gina gasp and cling tighter unto my arm, as well as Dogmeat letting out a disheartening whimper as they also beheld his eyes. They were not the normal human eyes I remembered back on earth, but a yellow golden infinity speckled with an infinite amount of black stars. Strange as the night indeed, yet stranger still was how it dulled my rage and I released my grip on my weapon.

"Relax. Ya couldn't kill me even if ya wanted to. I was the one that sent ya to Equestria to begin with that much is true. However with the mess ya find yarself in now I had nothing to do with." he explained in a calm, collected and measured voice.

"Why are you here?" I asked because I genuinely wanted to know. Gina however was still confused and somewhat freaked out. 'I'll explain later' I whispered to her.

"Believe it or not but I am actually here to help ya." the merchant replied in his usual drawl.

I was still skeptical however. "Alright merchant, let's say I believe you. How would you go about 'helping me'? Why not just send me back home huh?"

He raised an incredulous eyebrow at that then released it and continued to speak. "First of all. I can't send ya home no more. That was part of the deal with my boss and now my interloper, so that ship has sailed amigo. And secondly. Are ya sure ya would even want that anymore seeing as ya found yarself a girlfriend after all?"

I winced at that, because he was right. Would I really be ready to give up Gina just for me to get back home?

No. I decided. She was worth it.

"Also I actually have a name believe it or not. R.O.B. at ya service." he added and gave an exaggerated bow.

"As for how I would help ya out." he continued when I said nothing. "Think on who I am. I am a merchant that sells a great variety of things."

I hated to admit it but he had a point.

"And ya and yar crew have an impossibly large horde of gold and other goodies on ya ready to be traded." he added.

I nodded understanding his meaning.

"So in other words." I guess he must've smiled then underneath that hood and mask of his. "What're ya buyin'?"