A Tale of Two Eggheads

by MonochromaticRainbow

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Romance, Original Character, Soarin, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2885

Shenanigans ensue when Rarity's cousin, a well known writer from Fillydelphia; comes to Ponyville

At Rarity’s invitation, Literary, a rather stoic and solitary mystery-writing unicorn and his friend Splatter, a cheery–natured pegasus who loves to paint, leave the hustle and bustle of Fillydelphia to find some peace and quiet in the countryside so that they may both finish their work. However they soon find out that Ponyville isn’t exactly the quiet, sleepy, little town they thought it would be. Shenanigans ensue as Literary finds himself constantly pestered by seemingly everyone until he finds a quiet place and an unexpected friend.

Published 2012-10-17 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-17 00:00:01 UTC

Expecting a Visitor

Rarity rushed about the Carousal Boutique a feather duster hovering near her, glowing with her blue tinted magic, dusting here and there as she rapidly straightened things in the main room. The panicked look upon her face most evident. Twilight Sparkle watched her friend with a concerned frown; Sweetie Bell had come to her expressing her worry over her sister’s sudden frantic and obsessive need to make the Carousal Boutique shine brighter than it usually did. Sure Rarity hated messes but this was more than a tad ridiculous.

“Ah… Rarity?” Twilight Began But it seemed Rarity hadn’t heard her as she continued her dusting as straightening all the while mumbling to herself. “Rarity?” Twilight tried again as Rarity raced by, once again failing to notice her fellow unicorn. As she closed a chest she gasped.

“Ah, The kitchen!” she said racing for the door way. This time Twilight stepped in front of her.

“Rarity!!!” She yelled this time grabbing the white unicorn’s attention.

“Goodness, Twilight dear, you needn’t shout.” She said as the feather duster dropped to the floor. Twilight just sighed before continuing.

“Is something wrong?… what’s with the sudden spring cleaning?” She said looking around the spotless room. Rarity looked a bit surprised and looked around the room as well.

“No, nothing’s wrong, why do you ask?”

“Sweetie Bell came and got me a little bit ago said you were freaking out” Twilight said looking her friend over, a bit skeptical as to whether or not Rarity was really fine. A look of realization spread across Rarity’s face which broke into a small smile as she chuckled a bit.

“oh I’m just having some company over for a few weeks, it was very short notice so I was just a bit strapped on time is all, I must have forgot to tell Sweetie Bell he was coming over.” She said walking back towards the doorway, Twilight followed her friend looking a little surprised.

“He?” she asked with a look of curiosity. She was glad her friend was fine but now she was interested in this colt her friend was having stay over, maybe that Fancy Pants fellow she had met in Canterlot? He seemed a lot nicer than Prince Blue Blood.

“Oh yes,” Rarity said happily, “My cousin, Literary. He’s a novelist from Fillydelphia. A while back I invited him to come to Ponyville for a visit, he recently wrote me saying he needed an escape from the city to finish his latest work so he’ll be staying here for a few weeks.” She said as her horn began to glow causing a rag, broom, and dust pan to float up surrounded by glowing blue magic.

“Oh a relative, that’s exciting I can’t wait to meet him.” Twilight said with a sincere smile, “I’m sure everypony will be just as happy to meet him.” Rarity chuckled nervously.

“Ah yes well… about that, Please don’t tell pinkie till he’s actually here. You know how she is about… welcoming new friends and such and well, Lit… he likes things… quiet. I just want a chance to talk to him and give him fair warning before Pinkie throws a loud and crazy party.” She said with a concerned look.

“Oh I understand” Twilight said nodding, “I know when pinkie gets excited she can sometimes go a little over board.” Rarity sighed with relief, giving her friend an appreciative smile.

“Thank you Twilight, you’re a good friend.”

“Don’t mention it” Twilight said happily, “now why don’t you let me help you clean up?”

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The train pulled into the Ponyville station and two stallions stepped off. One was a tall, white unicorn with a longish and messy blue-teal mane and shiny black hooves, his cutie mark a soft blue quill sitting in a bottle of deep blue ink. His lavender eyes moved to look at his pegasus companion from behind forest green glasses, his face holding a rather flat expression. The pegasus on the other hand seemed to have a rather cheery disposition.

He was a light chocolate brown color with soft brown eyes; the kicker, though, was his large black spots, four of them: one across his flank and left wing, leaving most of his back side the shiny black color, one encircling his left front leg, one on his chest and neck reaching back onto his right side, and finally one on the top of his face along his muzzle and around his mouth. His mane was cut short and clean, and his tail was long, full and fluffy. The spots themselves were odd but what shocked most ponies was the dark inky blackness of his mane and tail; you didn’t see many black haired ponies in Equestria. His cutie mark was a plain paintbrush, but its simplicity seemed to suit him well. Both stallions carried large black bags on either of their sides, much larger than standard saddlebags all four stuffed to the brim. In front of the unicorn sat a fifth bag even larger than the others. His horn glowed a grayish blue color which then encircled the bag before lifting it off the ground.

“You seem awfully excited,” the unicorn said with a raised eyebrow. His voice was low and every bit as flat as his expression. The pegasus trotted over to his friend. He was just a bit shorter than the unicorn but his happy smile and odd coloring made him stand out far more.

“Well of course I am.” He said in his soft and smooth voice. “You saw the scenery on the way here. I can’t wait to start painting.”

“I was reading the whole ride so forgive me if I didn’t appreciate the specimens of nature you were gazing at for the past six hours,” he said as he began to walk towards the exit. The pegasus chuckled.

“Oh Lit, I saw your eyes wander from your book long enough to take in the sight of that mare sitting kiddie corner from us on the train,” he said to the unicorn giving him a mischievous smile and a humorous wrinkle of his nose. The unicorn rolled his green eyes.

“She was attractive yes, but I’m only interested in fillies who can hold a decent conversation and think about things that matter. She spent the whole time talking to her friend about… idle gossip, talks of pony pop-stars and silly fashion trends,” The pegasus shook his head with a bemused expression.

“But what about that… thing you had with-” He was cut off by an intense glare from the taller stallion.

“I thought we agreed to never speak of that again,” His words were deep and dramatic.

“Oh, yeaaaaah. Sorry about that,” the pegasus said with a embarrassed grin. Lit looked him up and down for a moment before sighing and walking out of the train station and onto the street.

“Come on Splatter, let’s ask someone for directions to the Carousal boutique,” he said looking around. Splatter looked about as well until he spotted a very pink pony with a very curly mane, he watched as she waved to almost everypony on the street with a cheery smile which was returned by the various ponies she waved too.

“Oh, look Lit she seems nice. Let’s ask her,” he said already making his way towards the pink haired pony. Lit followed as a slightly slower pace, he was in no rush.

Pinkie had just finished waving to Lyra and Bonbon when something, or somepony caught her eye. She turned to come face to face with the strangest looking pegasus she had ever seen. His colors were so not bright, but he seemed nice and Pinkie Pie made friends with everyone.

“Hi there!” she exclaimed loudly. “My name’s Pinkie Pie You must be new because I know everypony in town and I’ve never seen anypony with colors like yours and I’m sure I would have remembered if I did so hi! Want to be best friends?” she asked with a big grin on her face, her blue eyes sparkling.

“Well you were right about the nice part.” Lit mumbled from behind Splatter, “Ah… Pinkie Pie? He said with a tilt of his head. “I don’t suppose you might know where the Carousal Boutique is do you?” he asked.

“Weeellllll DUH!” Pinkie said making a silly face. “It’s only owned by one of my bestest, bestest friends in the whole wide world Rarity!” she said bouncing around the two stallions. “why ya looking to buy something? What’s with the big bags? Are they to hold dresses? or are you selling Rarity something? or….” Pinkie gasped before taking a karate stance “are you two jewel thieves come to steal Rarity’s jewels?” Splatter raised a hoof to his mouth to hold in laughter while Lit looked annoyed.

“Actually… I’m rarity’s cousin,” Lit said flatly. “We’ve just arrived from Fillydelphia and are staying with her for a few weeks.”

Pinkie Pie bounced up excitedly at the stallion’s words. “Oh, wowie, Rarity’s relative! You know what this calls for?” she asked the two whilst beaming. Before either pony could answer pinkie threw herself up in the air in a joyous manner. “A party!” she cried before zipping away so fast neither Literary or Splatter had time to even comprehend what had just happened. The two friends looked at each other both very confused looking now.

“Ah what… just?” Splatter started looking off in the direction pinkie had vanished to, she was long gone. Lit sighed and picked the bag up again using his magic.

“Let’s go into this flower shop and ask for directions instead,” He said making his way towards the door still thoroughly confused by the events that had just taken place.

Party Cannon and the Welcome Wagon

Party Cannon and the Welcome Wagon

With Twilight’s help Rarity was soon finished with her cleaning. The Carousal boutique shined and everything was in order. Rarity smiled over at her friend, gratitude gleaming in her crystal blue eyes.

“Twilight, darling, however can I thank you? The boutique hasn’t been this nice and shiny in a while.” Twilight smiled and opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the slamming of Rarity’s front door as somepony entered. The two mares turned to look, both with confusion in their eyes. Upon the sight greeting them Rarity’s expression turned once again to panic. Much to their surprise, and Rarity’s dismay, Pinkie Pie had kicked the door open and was now dragging not only her party cannon but also the welcome wagon in as well. To be exact she was walking backwards pushing the welcome wagon in with her hindquarters while dragging the party cannon in with her front hooves. The look on her face held nothing but happy determination, with a set smile and her eyes narrowed as she focused on her task ahead: throwing the biggest Ponyville welcome party this boutique had ever seen.

“Ah… Pinkie” Twilight said with a raised eyebrow “what are you doing?” Rarity was still frozen in shock, though Twilight had to admit the look on her face was rather humorous with her wide eyes and gaping mouth.

“Oh Twilight isn’t it obvious?” Pinkie Pie giggled “I’m gonna throw the biggest, bestest, bounciest, boutique bananazaa ever!” She exclaimed joyously. Twilight tilted her head slightly.

“Uh, don’t you mean bonanza?” she asked.

“Whatever! “ Pinkie giggled “and it’s all for Rarity’s cousin! Isn’t that awesome?!” she asked, taking aim with the party cannon before she started firing balloons and streamers everywhere. Rarity’s eyes followed the decorations as they seemingly magically set themselves up. In no time at all the entire boutique would be covered in brightly colored streamers, confetti, and balloons. Of all the things that could happen this was without question The! Worst! Possible! Thing!

“Pinkie!” Rarity cried rushing over to her friend. The pink pony just smiled.

“Oh no need to thank me Rarity, I’m sure your cousin will have loads of fun and make so many friends” she said happily. Rarity trotted in place nervously, looking around in a panicked state of shock and utter horror.

“How did you find out?” she asked her voice taking on the faster and slightly raspy tone she got when she was upset.

“Oh I met them just outside the train station, they were looking for directions to get here and his really weird friend with the funny colors asked me where the carousal boutique was and I was all wellll duhh!!!!! Cause you know you own the Carousal Boutique and you’re one of my bestest bestest friends so I got all excited and asked ‘em why and then I thought they might be jewel thieves but the tall one with the blue hair said no he was your cousin and so I got so so so excited I rushed over here so we could have a super duper party for them and it’s a good thing I did cause looking around here you musta forgot he was coming today cause this place sure doesn’t look ready for a party, at least not yet. It will now that Pinkie’s on the job!” she rambled her voice changing its pitch either high or lower in the appropriate places along with facial expressions to match until she finished her little speech and resumed her cheerful expression while she finished up firing her party cannon.

Rarity wasn’t sure what to say or do, as she looked around her once spotless boutique a feeling very similar to the feeling she had when Sweetie Bell cleaned her room took over. She gritted her teeth, squeezed her eyes shut before opening them wide with a small smile as she regained her composure. Pinkie pie chuckled at the sight.

“Oh Rarity, you’re so wacky sometimes.” Pinkie said cheerfully now pouring cake batter into a pan before sticking it in the oven on the welcome wagon. Rarity opened her mouth to speak but then the sound of hoof steps were suddenly heard as A.J. and Fluttershy walked in, a second later Rainbow Dash swooped in and landed beside twilight.

Rarity looked about at their smiling faces before exclaiming “What are you all doing here?!” she asked, earning her some confused looks from A.J and Fluttershy as they approached the other mares.

“Beg ya pardon? Pinkie said you were having some sort of party, something ‘bout a relative visiting?” A.J. said with Fluttershy and Dash nodding in agreement.

Rarity opened her mouth to speak but was once again cut off by the overzealous pink pony.

“You’re darn tootin we’re havin a party!” she exclaimed happily. “And look, some more guests have arrived!” she cried happily as most, if not all of Ponyville showed up at the boutique’s doors. Rarity and Twilight watched in shock (and for Rarity horror) as Lyra, Bonbon, Dr. Whooves, Carrot top, Davenport, Caramel, Emerald, Cheerilee, Derpy, Snips, Snails, Twist, Ace, Aloe, Lotus, Roxie, Candy Mane, Rose, Baritone, Daisy, Berry Punch, Goldengrape, Hugh Jelly, Pip, Junebug, Melilot, Noteworthy, Blossomforth, Cloudchaser, Flitter, Silverspeed, Snowflake, Thunderlane, Rumble, DJ Pon-3, Strike, Mr. and Mrs. Cake with the twins, Zecora, and just about every other pony trotted, soared, and galloped into the carousal boutique until it was full from wall to wall with candy colored ponies and the air filled with music courtesy the equipment DJ Pon-3 had brought with her. Somewhere in the crowd Snowflake let out a loud and excited “yeah!” while flexing. Rarity looked around not knowing what to say or do, she looked at Twilight who just gave Rarity a nervous smile.

“Rarity?” a small voice chimed up. The white unicorn looked down to see Sweetie Bell and her friends Scootaloo and Apple Bloom staring up at her. “What’s going on?” she asked looking around obviously confused by the day’s events. Rarity took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

“Well Sweetie Bell” she said with a sigh, “It would seem pinkie pie has meet our dear cousin near the train station and now she is… throwing a party…” the uneasiness in Rarity’s voice was made very clear with those three words “to welcome said cousin.” Sweetie bell however perked up at Rarity’s words.

“Oh well I’m sure cousin Ballet won’t mind some company, and she loves music and dancing.” Sweetie Bell said with a smile. Rarity shook her head.

“It’s not Dear cousin Ballet I’m referring to” Rarity said with a very set frown.

“But, if it’s not cousin Ballet, then who…?” Sweetie Bell asked looking confused; Ballet was the only relative Sweetie Bell could think of that would come down for a visit.

“Cousin Literary” Rarity said with as much drama shoved into those two words as possible.

Sweetie Bell’s eyes widened and her face dropped. “Wh-what?! Why would he come here?! He hates leaving his home in Fillydelphia!” Her small voice squeaking slightly as she raised it.

“Well…” Rarity began looking around, “He wanted to escape the noise of Fillydelphia to finish his last book and well, he thought it’d be nice to get peace and quiet here in Ponyville”

Sweetie Bell looked around the boutique at all the ponies and party decorations. “I think the last thing he’ll find here is peace and quiet.” As if on cue the door opened and two stallions walked in.