Today was not going how it was expected, for a certain pair of ponies.
Snap Shutter and Mare Allgood were currently in one of the offices at Ponyvile town hall, waiting for the social worker to hear back from speaking to the mayor in the other room. The office they were in was composed of basic wood walls, floors, and a simple desk with a certain book of rules on the top of it.
A visit to finally see their daughter again after so long had just ended. The pair had intended to leave the town by train but had been stopped by a mare identifying herself as a Foal Protective Services officer. She had approached the pair at the train station and requested they accompany her to an office in the town hall.
Snap and Mare had thought this was just a misunderstanding but boy were they wrong.
It was something they had been dreading would catch up then eventually.
Finally, the office social worker, a green unicorn mare with black mane, walked back into the room, a stack of papers levitating over her. She plopped the stack on the desk and narrowed her gaze at the pair as she seated herself behind the desk.
“So, shall we begin?” She asked, in what would have been a polite tone if not for the fact she was glaring at them.
“So, what seems to be the issue officer?” Snap inquired, feigning ignorance.
“Well that’s simple: both of you neglected your daughter’s safety and well-being.” She said, sternly.
Glancing at the name tag on the deck, Snap noted the mare’s name seemed to be Anon-omous.
“What are the exact charges?” The stallion pressed.
Anon smirked and showed them the stack of papers. “All these. All these are the charges: I have so many accounts given by her friends and the towns folk, I could fill whole books with it. Oh, but I’ll keep it brief: dozens if not hundreds of accounts of child neglect, a few accounts of indirect child endangerment, missed child support payments, and so on. Oh and tax evasion; something about hiding bits in crocodiles?”
She said, her scrutinizing gaze falling over the pair as she looked at her papers.
Snap smiled sheepishly
Allgood rolled her eyes. “This is preposterous; we are proper, adequate parents. You have no proof against us.”
The green mare frowned more.
“You left her alone for years and never supervised her no matter what. What kind of parents let their kid roam around unsupervised and do all this dangerous stuff for hours, if not days, on end? What is this, the 1980s?” Anon pressed.
“Where is the proof?” Snap Shutter demanded.
The mare behind the desk smiled slyly. “Oh, you want proof? Why sure… “ she replied, smugly . She reached beneath her desk and pulled out yet another stack of papers. Both Allgood and Snap Shutter grimaced.
“W-what’s that?” He weakly asked.
“Oh, why it’s the evidence: written statements from those she knows, your travel records, her school records, your criminal charges, your criminal recode-“
“Criminal records?” Allgood parroted.
“Well, soon to be criminal records. You committed a lot of tax evasion it seems. And neglect.” She noted, glancing at it
Snap Shutter frowned. “Umm, why not list and read off some of them? Maybe it’s a misunderstanding.” He suggested.
The FPS worked and shrugged. “Sure, why don’t I start here.” She said, picking up a paper with her magic.
“Let’s see, it says you have no less than a few hundred accounts of child neglect… based off just not even being there for her. As reported by dozens of ponies who knew her over the years.” She noted.
Both parents started sweating.
“W-what times could you mean?” Snap tried.
Putting on glasses, the service agent read over a list.
“Well, for starters Ponyville and Equestria in general have been through so many different crises in the past several years; so many times in fact we are still documenting the losses. It’s been attacked by numerous villains, drained of its magic by said villains, conquered by a foreign invader known as the Storm King, and heck, Ponyville itself has been repeatably attacked by various monsters and outright damaged or destroyed a few times.” She pointed out. “And your daughter was here alone.” She listed off. “So, might you be willing to answer a few questions?”
Snap and Allgood exchanged a nervous glance.”Sure.” The stallion replied.
“Where were you when Lord Tirek got free and stole all the land’s magic?”
“On a business trip,” Snap stated.
The mare adjusted her glasses. “Okay then; what about when Discord broke out?”
“Business trip. Also, it’s not our fault Celestia let him out in Ponyville.” The stallion stated.
“I guess you can’t control the Princess’ bad decisions. But what about Cozy Glow also stealing the land’s magic or the changeling invasion ?”
“Trip for business.”
The mare huffed. “The Storm King conquering the land, enslaving us all, and throwing us into cages? “
“Trip. We left the country for that one.”
“Your daughter was caged and enslaved for crying out loud!” The mare added, before putting a hoof to her face. The two ponies looked a tad guilty.
“Need I add all the times she and her friends ran off into the woods alone, left the town alone to go to another city unattended, did deadly stunts, or when Sombra first came back?”
“Business trips to all those but we did come back for her the second time Sombra returned. “
The mare scoffed. “Okay, why not after any of that earlier crisis?”
“Uhhhhhhh, I don’t know.” The stallion admitted. The social worker jotted something down on her clipboard.
“B-but we came back to get her out of concern for her safety.” Allgood insisted.
“Uh-huh. Sure. And when you did, according to my report, you let loose a dangerous animal into her school and tried to force her to move away from all her friends without asking her prior. How curious…” she mused.
“We recanted after she talked to us. And her aunts are with her to look after her.” Allgood insisted.
The social worker pass-aggressively adjusted her glasses. “Oh yes, you recanted, sure. Recanted your intended visit to your daughter. If I recall correctly after the town told you how loved she was here in Ponyville, you just tried to leave again. I found you at the train station, remember?”
The married couple again exchanged a nervous glance, the reality of how screwed they were sinking in.
Anon rolled her eyes and put the stack of evidence and accounts down to the side of the table. “Yeah… I don’t know what else to say. You two kind of suck at parenting, and you can quote me on that during the court case.” she noted.
Allgood frowned. “Okay, I admit it. We were busy, we were gone often. We were not there for her, but we made sure to leave her in the care of her aunts.” she said, her confidence dropping as evident by her weak tone.
Anon rolled her eyes. “Yes; her aunts who live away and only occasionally visit by train. Why was she not already with her aunt in the first place? Why were they not living with her or her living with them from the get-go?”
Snap and Allgood both slumped in their chairs. “Well you got us.” they admitted in unison.
Anon glared at them. “Oh no, you aren’t getting out of this that easily. Frankly, I have more than enough to cart you both off to prison for decades, without even going into the tax evasion charges: that means you Mr. “hide your taxes in crocodiles.” she added, a glare at the nervous stallion. “Now: why did she not have a guardian in the first place!?!”
“Ummm… we didn’t think it through.” Allgood tried.
Anon just rolled her eyes. Her horn lit up, and Snap noticed a pen float onto a paper in front of Anon, as she scribbled something down.
“But wait: isn’t some of this on her aunt’s too? We gave them custody of Scootaloo and they never showed up either.” Allgood pointed out.
Anon hummed and flipped through her papers, before landing on a lamented document. She used her magic to put back on her reading glasses. “Why yes, I believe you did legally appoint them as guardians. Oh, but that’s right: they are under investigation too. Turns out visiting their ward once every few weeks or per month doesn’t really cut it as “taking proper care” of a child.” she said, citing a piece of legal phrasing from her documents. Anon looked over them, scrutinizing their reactions.
Snap and Allgood were both sweating profusely, each looking like they were trying to figure out something to say, but completely unable to do so. Snap even opened his mouth to speak yet found no words.
Anon huffed in satisfaction. “Well, now that you are aware of the charges and evidence, we can get to the sentencing.”
Snap frowned. “No hold up just a minute: this is not how do process works. You have not given us a chance to defend ourselves in court,” he noted.
Anon rolled her eyes. “We have reason to hold you in prison until that comes. Oh, but the princesses expedited this a bit; they ordered your arrest. I don’t know what else to tell ya: between dozens of witnesses, including the land’s defenders and authorities figures being amongst them, and all this overwhelming evidence, you’re kind of bucked. You’re going to jail.
The two nervously sweating. “How bucked are we?”
The green mare smiled slyly. “Oh you’re bucked; bucked is what’ll you be. Very bucked.” She insisted.
Allgood slumped down on the desk, defeated. Her husband racked his brain to figure out what to say, putting a hoof to his chin.
“Wait, how come the Mane 6’s friendship map or whatever didn’t do anything about this then huh? Maybe there’s not a problem.” he tried.
Anon slammed a hoof on the table. “Oh, that’s your excuse? Wow, you are pathetic.” She sneered. “But you do have a point there; I don’t know if sending random ponies all across the land to solve some other random pony’s issues. Go figure it didn’t send them to solve your own. But frankly, it’s sad neither you nor your sister, the kids’ aunt, could solve this. If you need a magical map to send some strangers on a quest to solve the issues you inflicted on your daughter, you are just horrible people.” Anon taunted, looking at both.
Allgood looked up wearily. “Soooooo, what’s our sentence?”
Anon flipped through her papers. “Well, given the rampant neglect and tax evasion on Snap’s part… 10-20 years in normal jail.” She nonchalantly said. “Oh, and sone hefting fines. At least fifty thousand bits.” She noted.
The pair gave up. “Okay, look: I am not blind to the fact we are horrible parents and deserve this. Yes, I know our daughter probably hates us and so does everypony else. But is there anything we can do to avoid it?” Snap pressed.
“Well, you certainly tried to avoid these charges for years. It’s called tax evasion and neglect: as in, you are not present or doing either paying nor parenting. And never being around for me to arrest you.” She clarified as she seemed to realize something. “Oh but you want a plea deal huh?” Anon cheekily noted.
Both ponies shoo their heads earnestly. The unicorn mare pulled out a paper from her stack.
“Twilight left a note, “ Anon huffed.
She read it aloud:
“You know I’ve always believed in forgiveness and redemption. I talk about it all the time, as I am sure you know. I would love it if you could fix things with your daughter, but that would imply you care enough. The fact you never bothered to show up even after the Storm King conquered the land was pretty bad, but even after all this you still opted to leave her again instead of moving home?
No friendship quest is gonna fix that. Oh yeah, and since I am now going to be running the government, and hold both a position amongst it as well as relations to the current, soon-to-be stepping-down, leaders, I believe you owe us some money. Now, I would be content to simply cart your child-neglecting, tax-evading asses off to prison, but I know now a better way to make you learn from your actions. Pay me a small total of 100,000 bits… and 99 cents and I’ll only give you 6 years in prison with the possibility of parole. You can of course appeal the charges at your court case in a few weeks but let’s be real: the odds are stacked.
And PS: Scootaloo is staying with Rainbow Dash for the time being. She raised her more than you or her aunts did anyway; as did I and the rest of my friends more or less. Think on that.
Signed, your’s true, Twilight Sparkle.”
The pair looked up from the letter.
“Ouch,” Snap muttered.
“Didn’t know she had that much spite in her,” Allgood muttered.
The green mare stared at the two. “So, what will it be.”
“The one hundred thousand bits and minimal prison sentence. And ninety-nine cents.” the couple said in unison.
Anon hummed and wrote something down on yet another paper. “Arlight, and before we wrap this up anything else you might want to say? Might help you later in the court case.”
Snap looked at his wife, both exchanging a knowing glance. “Yes. First: Tell Scootaloo were are sorry about the neglect. And look, we’ll just admit now we know we are bad parents but we never wanted to be parents; the two of use might have gotten a bit high on magic grass one night and, well, had her. Then we tried to get my sister and her roommate to raise Scootaloo for us and… I don’t know why she ended up in Ponyville alone. We had a house here but we guess the aunts never bothered to show up as often as we asked them to.”
Anon rolled her eyes and muttered yet another insult under her breath.
“But I don’t regret the tax evasion. Celestia just used our taxes to fund her cake addiction anyway.”
The social worker rolled her eyes and seemed to reach under the desk with a hoof and press a button. They heard a beeping sound and some sort of speaker seemed to be active within the desk.
“Get these two dead beats out of my office.” Anon barked.
The doors behind them swung open and two ponies, a buff, white pegasus with tiny wings and a grey and yellow pegasus with a yellow mane and hair albeit with a lazy eye, walked in wearing blue uniforms and hats, like a police officer.
“Biceps, Derpy, you know what to do,” Anon muttered, sinisterly.
“Okay,” Derpy replied, as she approached Snap and Allgood. “Come quietly. Oh, and you’ll be getting no muffins,” she said, narrowing her gaze at Snap.
Snap and Allgood exchanged a final glance and sighed. The two let themselves be escorted out of the room without incident.
“Where are we going?” Snap asked the yellow-haired mare.
“Not the muffin shop, that’s for sure,” Derpy replied.
“The Canterlot prison, Princess Twilight’s orders,” she growled, before smiling at Anon. “How exciting; it’s my first day volunteering for law enforcement and I already get to bust a few scum bags!”
Anon looked on with glee as the other left the room, writing down what happened on yet another document. After this, she had just one thing left to do.
She summoned an enchanted letter from her desk and levitated it up. Summoning a pen she wrote a short letter reading:
“Dear Princess Celestia, today Scootaloo’s parents learned an important lesson about the consequences of their actions…and paying their taxes…” she finished, before magically signing and teleporting it off to the Canterlot castle in a puff of magic smoke. As she finished her notes and the letter, she could not help but think of something.
“Justice delivered. I just hope things work out for Scootaloo from here on. ”
Author's Note
Got nothing really to say, I hope you enjoyed this. I wrote this after watching the episode they showed up in and then thought about all the previous stuff that happened in the series where they did not show up. Like they show up to visit after Sombra comes back a second time but none of the other threats, crises, or villains prior to this? And why was Scootalooj just not already living with her aunts or so in the first place?
So yeah, it left a sour taste in my mouth, but no one called them out.
