Author's Note
Just a small tidbit, because I enjoyed writing the first part.
Weeds
I lay lax in the royal gardens, charging the enchantment I had placed over its flora so that nothing would wilt during the winter. It’s what she asked of me, although how I went about it probably wasn’t what she had in mind. Most likely she had wanted me to let nature run it’s course, but I just couldn’t let any of them wilt - even for just a season.
Not that I could if I wanted to,
Because they grow like weeds.
I had actually laughed at that, when they seemed to take over the entire garden like a virus. I was forced to read a book on botany because of it.
For the first time in a long time I had to learn something.
Perhaps I’d never taken the time to read about it so that she might have a reason to stay.
So childish…
My magic stops ebbing out over the fields and I simply look outwards to its grandeur.
So they grow like weeds. Beautiful weeds. They were not hard to nurture - they required little attention at all. I didn’t have the heart to remove a single one of them despite how dense their field had gotten. Because for every petal and stem, I could pretend there was a greater part of her still here.
When she was laid to her final rest it was done surrounded in these weeds. Where she was placed with her sister, as well as Cadence.
My world should’ve died with them, but there was something in this emptiness that felt necessary. For all that talk about love… Celestia had gone through this for hundreds, perhaps thousands of years longer than I had.
How many times did she have to lay somepony to rest, only to keep trying?
That meant something to me,
For despite the pain of it all, she nurtured me like one might’ve done for a daughter. Even if there was a possibility that it would’ve ended in tragedy.
Maybe I was just another flower to her. Or maybe she had allowed her garden to become infested with weeds so that she wouldn’t feel so lonely.
Or maybe she just had so much love to give that she could see beauty even in the weeds.
…I think I’ll plant my own flowers, like she did.
Always so poetic, that mare.
In the bitter sweet nostalgia I find a small smile. “Well how about this, I’ll plant some sunflowers.” I snort. “How’s that for poetic?”
The silence sounds like a deadpan and it makes me giggle.
Yes, some sunflowers will do nicely.
Author's Note
Sorry for the short description. Couldn’t think of anything clever.
The Moon Flower
*Tick, tick, tick.*
Clocks bother me now. Especially the ones that go ‘*tick, tick, tick*’ like this one currently making my ears flutter in agitation. Not that the silent ones were any better. I still locked eyes with them from time to time and… grew weary.
*Tick, tick, tick.*
Every second was wasteful.
*Tick, tick, tick-*
“Okay, that’s enough of that.” And I shake my head, jolting as if I’d come back alive. No, I wasn’t dead yet. Even if I was killing my time by doing nothing.
Doing nothing made me feel sick. “Looks like I need your help…” muttering to myself was far more common nowadays, even when compared to my… young life. Perhaps I liked to pretend I was still the filly pacing in her library… clicking my tongue, I wander away from the dismal sound of the clock. Opening the door to my office and stepping out, asking without looking,
“Where is the Royal Grounds Keeper?”
Stiffly a stallion postures himself — I can practically hear his muscles lock into place.
“The gardens, I believe. Your highness.”
I nod and before the guardsman is even finished speaking I’m already on my way.
She never really spent much time anyplace else.
How does it not bore her to death?
I’d say I spent the time musing, but truthfully my mind was mostly blank during my walk. I’m sure there were more posturing guardsmen or mares confused by my cold indifference. Apologies would be had later… but even as the sentiment forms I still ignore the last maid I come across. Perhaps I was simply too lethargic to even try at the moment.
Excuses, excuses.
*Tick, tick, tick.*
My snout wrinkles briefly before I allow the mask to return and I shake away the sound. There’s a gentle breeze now: opulent marble and soft carpet giving way to rustic earth and dewy grass. Hm. Perhaps it was far earlier than I believed… or was it later?
Once again I’ve shaken my head, as if to clear the mud from my brain.
How does it not bore her to death?
And I sigh as I round the corner of the well trimmed hedges acting as an entrance to my garden. Giving way to a massive field of various greenery. Well kept, as always. Beautiful in a far away sorts. I all but collapse beneath a canopy overlooking the grounds, simply watching some butterflies float above. As if this area was their cradle…
Perhaps I’m a bit arrogant to call this my garden. Really it was her’s and her’s alone.
“You’re tired, aren’t you?”
And I didn’t even realize she’d sat next to me. A startled sound escaping my lips, wherein she just giggles at me. “Well that woke you.”
“Princess Celestia…” I slip in my words.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle.” She doesn’t.
“Please don’t be so impersonal with me,” My voice feels weak suddenly. “Please.”
“…you’re really tired, Twilight.” My old teacher speaks in a soft voice. Not a whisper, but gentle nonetheless. Warm like it’s always been. As if I was a filly wrapped up in her wings once more. But maybe that was because she actually did drape one atop my shoulder.
How does it not bore her to death?
“You feel lost.”
“Hah…” And I release something akin to a whine. “Something like that.” I droll. Realizing I hadn’t even turned to look at her, my head dipped low.
“Hm…” I can feel Celestia shift just a tad closer. “The flowers are beautiful this bloom. Aren’t they?”
“The same as ever.”
“Indeed. Except some of them have wilted, and despite my best efforts, they will not return for the next bloom.”
I flinch.
“Sometimes things are simply not your fault, Twilight.” She murmurs as if next to my ear. “But tell me why you think it is.”
“I… I…” So I look at her. The last of what I have. “How can you even still be here? After Cadence, after Luna-“ My voice cracks with a warble. “Aren’t you tired?” And I’m ready to cry. Even as she smiles so gently I’m reminded of why I always thought of her as a second mother. “How are you so strong?”
“I miss them everyday. That is why I am strong.”
“No platitudes! I don’t need philosophical poetry to provoke my thoughts and leave me mulling over them all day and night, I need- I need-“ But I pick over my words. And I click my teeth back together. Muzzle clamping shut.
Certainty.
Silence.
“Oh Lulu…” Celestia murmurs as if she’s miles away. Were her eyes always capable of being so misty? Or did I just pretend they never were? She looks to the flowers as if in deep thought. In deep sadness. “Cadence…”
It was the same way I looked at those damn clocks. Always reading the time. But Celestia is smiling. Entirely. Showing off the crows feet in the corners of her eyes. When did the shine in her fur grow duller? The sparkles in her mane dim? When did regality turn into fragility?
I hated wasting time. Hated how easy It was.
“Why do you waste your time tending to the castle grounds?” I finally speak. “Why bother. There’s nothing left for you.”
No crown. No pining nobility. No throne. No students. No surviving family. No evil for her to vanquish. Princess Celestia is ancient history - now she was just the grounds keeper, Celestia. Then how was she so strong? Why, why, why? I felt like a frustrated filly again. I always somehow feel like a filly again, whenever I am around her.
If I lose her I’ll never be that filly again.
“I have you; I have the flowers.” Celestia shows no less certainty in her expression despite being so far passed the point of her delegation prime. And there is joy in her anguished eyes. “The world may remain untraveled. New things bore me, quite frankly. Give me soil, some seeds and a watering can: I’m happy with the same flowers every year because they’re beautiful. Even if so many of them wilt, there’s always more seeds to plant. There’s always more flowers to water.”
Always the waxing poetic. Well there is nothing poetic about dying flowers. It just hurt. It wasn’t beautiful. It was ugly.
Celestia saw my anger. My burning tears. My pain. And she never stops smiling. “I’m so proud of you, Twilight Sparkle.”
I shout. “I don’t want you to be proud of me!” I shrug off her wing. Could she even fly anymore?
“Twilight-“
“Everypony i’ve ever cared about isn’t here anymore, you’re all I have left. Mothers don’t just come back after they die!”
The silence after my shouting feels shameful as I try to catch my breath. My eyes screwing tightly shut as I realize I’m simply being… an idiot.
Always so stupid. My entire life. Could never read the room. Could never listen closely enough to those important before they were already gone. I’d take it all back. I’m not busy. Tell me how terrible your client was. How boring the day was. The deliciousness of that sweet. How it was warmer today than it was yesterday.
Oh. Celestia was hugging me close, like she used to.
It had been a long time since I sobbed. Since life had felt cruel enough to bring me so low. What I would do just to ask Spike to page my thoughts one last time…
I cry and cry.
“I will always love you. Twilight.” And for the first time in a long time I hear Celestia’s voice waver. “And I promise you this, you were never anything less than more than I could’ve ever hoped for.”
“How do I do it?” I croak.
“You’re doing it now.”
“But… after… what about after…”
“How about I show you one of my favorite flowers?”
“Really,” I laughed as I cried. “You’re still talking about flowers?”
“Well I’ll need somepony to take care of my garden after I’m gone.” Celestia laughs and it rings like a bell. I’m reminded of all the moments I made her laugh. Of her smiles. Every time her brows knitted in worry. Every time she cried. The small moments of anger.
I squeeze Celestia tight and breathe deeply. “Okay. Fine. Show me your favorite flowers.”
I can feel her grin from where she was nuzzling me. She hums. “Tell me, have you ever heard about the Moon Flower?”
*Tick, tick, tick.*
For once, waiting didn’t feel like wasted time.
