The Iron Horse: Murderous Machinations

Once Inspector Dupon had gone, Gadget led Turing and Maud backstage. While most of the ponies presenting that night had opted for simple slideshows and diagrams, a number of others had brought their inventions with them or even working scale models to show off their discoveries as authentically as possible, and several of them were backstage setting up before the event started.

“I’m not presenting tonight,” Gadget explained as she walked backwards, making sure Turing and Maud were still with her, “but Mr. Vanderbull said I could perform during the intermission. And when Turing said you’d be coming tonight as well, Maud, I prepared something really special!”

Maud stared back impassively.

“It involves rocks,” Gadget added.

Maud raised her head and stared back less impassively.

“You have her attention,” Turing said.

“I thought I might,” Gadget said, giving a wink. Then she gave a yelp as she backed up rump-first into a very old-looking stallion with thick glasses and a lab coat.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Professor Barnsworth!” Gadget cried.

“Ehhwha?” mumbled the old stallion as he raised his head. “Oh! Think nothing of it, my dear. I’m just going over my speech for my presentation this evening. Eh, let’s see, where was I…?” he muttered as he wandered off, fiddling with a small metallic box of some kind. “Ah… ‘Good news, everypony! I’ve invented a machine that beeps whenever it detects puns and plays on words! With this, you’ll never miss a cheap joke or mildly clever bit of wordplay again!’ And then I switch it on like so…”

The trio had already wandered off as the Professor continued fidgeting with his device. “Now, where did I store that thing?” Gadget wondered aloud. “By the way, Turing, since we’ve been talking about detective stuff, have you read many mystery books or seen any mystery serials at the theater?”

“Only the few that were in Twilight Sparkle’s library in Ponyville.”

“Oh, then you should check some out and test your skills against some famous fictional detectives! Like Sherclop Pones!...”

Beep.

“...or Columpone!...”

Beep!

“...Or even Hercolt Poiroats!”

BEEEPFWOOSH!
“Oh, Sweet Celestia, it’s burst into flames again!”

“I will take your suggestion, Gadget,” Turing said.

“Let me know what you think!” Just then, her eyes alighted on a large device covered with a sheet that had been wheeled out of the way. “Oh, here it is!” she exclaimed.

“I guess it is a nice sheet,” Maud intoned.

“Not half as nice as what’s under it!” Gadget said, pulling the sheet off the device.

Maud stepped forward, her eyes doing the equivalent of lighting up.

The device panel consisted of a keyboard much like that of a piano. In a panel behind it, however, were several crystals of varying colors and shapes inside little glass domes.

Maud’s nostrils flared.

“Oh, but here’s the coolest part!” Gadget continued. She quickly grabbed the power cord to the device and scrambled over to the nearest outlet (which was already crowded with a few other electrical devices’ plugs). She plugged the strange keyboard in, and the overhead lights dimmed and then brightened slightly before returning to normal.

“Gadget, are you certain the Spur Island Hotel is properly equipped for the electrical demands of the symposium?” Turing asked as she observed the dimming of the lights.

“Of course!” Gadget said, hurrying back to the keyboard. “Well, probably.”

“...‘Probably’?”

“Mr. Vanderbull ordered the whole place renovated and electrified when he bought it. And he sent me here to double-check the electricians’ work. The lights, the outlets, and all the other wiring are all brand new! But never mind that…”

Gadget flipped a switch on the panel of the keyboard and it gave a low hum as it powered on. She looked at Maud and Turing and pressed a key.

One of the crystals began to glow brightly and a single note, clear and sonorous, filled the air. It was like a chime, or perhaps the sound a wine glass made when one ran a wet hoof around its rim.

Gadget played a simple scale, followed by an arpeggio. She then played a very short children’s tune, and Turing was surprised to hear Maud gently humming along with it.

“And there you have it!” Gadget said. “I built this myself a few months ago. You see, it works by—”

“You’re running electricity through those crystals,” Maud said as she stepped closer to the machine. “The charge causes them to vibrate at a precise frequency, and you’ve tuned them to each of these glass tubes to produce tones and turn that into music.”

Gadget swelled with pride. “I should have known an expert like you would know about the Piezoelectric Effect, Maud! That’s why I call it the Piezoforte!”

Maud looked again at the machine, then to Gadget, and finally turned back to Turing Test. She wore one of her elusive, subtle smiles.

“Okay,” she said, “I officially like her.”

Turing stepped forward and put her foreleg around Maud, almost protectively. “Gadget, are you attempting to woo my girlfriend?”

“Wh-what?!” Gadget gasped. “Turing, Maud, no! I would never… oh, you’re messing with me.”

“Affirmative.”

Gadget chuckled and shook her head. “Well, I’m glad you both liked the demonstration. I’ve been practicing super hard for the last month to get my song right. I hope everypony likes it!”

“Sure they will,” Maud said. “Most ponies I know like rock music.”

“Initiating ‘exasperated groan’ sequence,” Turing said as she rolled her glowing eyes.

Gadget had a bounce in her step as she and the others made their way past the other inventors prepping their own projects and back toward the stage. As they went, they passed by a mare who was working on some manner of device next to a large aquarium tank.

The mare glanced up from her work and raised her head when she saw Gadget. She stopped what she was doing, unplugged her device, and immediately came over.

“Excuse me, but—”

Then she noticed Turing Test standing there and her demeanor immediately soured. Her eyes narrowed and her lips went taut. Then she turned back to Gadget, as if Turing and Maud weren’t even there.

“Miss Gadget,” the mare said, “do you know if a pony named Beacon Bomber has arrived yet?”

“Beacon Bomber?” Gadget asked, tilting her head. “No, I don’t think so. At least, he hadn’t arrived on the last ferry from the mainland. I checked the guest list a few minutes ago, so I guess he’s not coming.”

“Actually,” Turing said, “Beacon Bomber sent a telegram earlier this week which indicated that he would likely arrive late.”

The mare turned her gaze toward Turing, her expression souring even further.

“Wait, what?” Gadget asked. “How? He missed the last ferry to the island.”

“Beacon Bomber is a pegasus,” Turing replied. “He stated that he would be flying to the island if the weather was suitable. He anticipated my objection and stated that he was skilled at flying over open oceans, so it would not be a concern.”

At this, the mare’s expression changed to one of bewilderment. “So he’s able to fly that far again… is that what he meant?”

“Er, by the way, have you seen the evening’s schedule?” Gadget asked. “Do you know when you’re presenting, ma’am?”

“Hm? Oh, yes,” she replied. “I’m scheduled to go third.”

Turing stepped closer, her eyes smiling as she extended a hoof. “In that case, I look forward to your presentation, Sea Dweller. Also, it is gratifying to see you again. I was pleased to see your application to attend this symposium shortly after its announcement.”

The mare, apparently named Sea Dweller, was a unicorn with a dark bluish-green coat and a violet mane that draped down her long neck. Her cutie mark was a copper diving helmet with a circular visor. She shook Turing’s extended hoof briefly. “Yes, well… I wanted to attend the event. Regardless of who happened to be hosting it.”

Gadget and Maud exchanged a look.

“Uh, I guess you two know each other?” Gadget asked gingerly.

“Affirmative! Sea Dweller is a professional salvage diver and inventor from Filly Hawk,” Turing said. “When Princess Celestia announced the creation of a new position on her Royal Cabinet, the Minister of Technology, and that a public election would be held to determine who would hold that position, Sea Dweller was among the candidates who entered the race.”

Sea Dweller sighed. “Yes, that’s correct. But the public apparently chose otherwise.”

“Oh,” Gadget said softly. “Um… so, not to be rude, but are you bitter about losing?”

“No, I was a long shot to begin with, honestly,” she replied. And then she glanced over at Turing. “I’m more bitter about who won.”

Gadget winced, running a hoof around the collar of her dress.

Then Turing put her hoof to her chest. “Sea Dweller, I recall that in your campaign against me you objected to my candidacy on the grounds that I was a robot.”

“You still are,” Maud quipped.

“However, I took your attendance at this event to mean that your attitude toward me had changed. Was I incorrect in this assumption?”

Sea Dweller stared back at her. “Minister, I grant that you have done a lot for the cause of modernizing Equestria, this symposium included. But it’s not your policies I object to. I’ve been advocating for democratic representation in our government for years. In fact, that organization run by your ‘father’ apparently considered me a prospective candidate to join them before their attack on Canterlot, but they realized I was a loyalist and never recruited me. When Celestia announced that positions on her Royal Council would be determined by democratic vote, I was overjoyed! Your position is the first democratically-decided one in our national government’s history!” Then she sighed. “But I haven’t changed my opinion that a pony - a real pony - should be the one to hold it.”

“Well,” Maud said flatly, “if you like democracy so much, maybe you should respect that Turing won the vote.”

Sea Dweller blinked at Maud a few times. “I’m sorry, but just who are you?”

“Ah, my apologies,” Turing said, gesturing toward Maud. “This is Maud Pie, my fiancée.”

Sea Dweller’s jaw dropped. Gawking, she looked back and forth between the pair of them. “Wait… you mean to tell me you intend to marry this… this thing?!”

A heavy silence fell over the group.

“Ah,” Turing said. “That was quite rude, Sea Dweller.”

“I’ll say,” Maud Pie added. “Nopony’s ever called me a ‘thing’ before.”

Sea Dweller sputtered. “What? No, I meant—”

“Correct. Please do not call Maud Pie a thing, Sea Dweller.”

“Yeah, don’t do that,” Maud agreed. “Only Turing gets to call me that.”

“Affirmative. And only if it is preceded by an adjective, such as ‘wild’ or ‘sexy’—”

“Oversharing, Turing.”

“Apologies, you Thing.”

“Oh. I’m starting to warm up to it now.”

Sea Dweller sputtered again, her face purpling with rage. “You two are… ugh!” she groaned and stormed away.

“Got her,” Maud remarked, the hint of a smile on her lips.

“We certainly did,” Turing said.

The two exchanged a hoof bump.

Gadget was still stifling her laughter, but managed to say, “Forget her for now, Turing. Let’s head back to the main hall.”

They stepped back into the main hall and the young mare, practically bubbling over with excitement, suddenly seized Turing’s hooves. “Ooh, I can’t wait for the Symposium to start, Turing! It’s gonna be so much fun!”

Then they heard the sound of someone clearing his throat and turned their heads… and then immediately craned their necks to see a minotaur in a double-breasted suit towering over them.

“Oh, Mr. Vanderbull!” Gadget gasped. “Sorry, sir, I was just showing Turing and Maud my invention! I promise I wasn’t shirking my duties!”

But Vanderbull put his hand up and gave her a warm smile. “Calm yourself, Gadget. You’ve done a marvelous job with the preparations so far.” He took out his pocket watch and consulted it, giving a satisfied nod. “We have exactly 12 minutes until the start of the event, so I see no harm in socializing with friends, and I am certain that Minister Turing Test is as pleased by your company as we are with hers.”

“Good evening, Mr. Vanderbull,” Turing said. “I can confirm that I am, in fact, pleased to see you both as well.” She turned to Maud Pie, gesturing toward the odd pair of Vanderbull and Gadget. “Maud Pie, Mr. Vanderbull is the primary sponsor of this event and offered us the use of this establishment. They were responsible for repairing me when I was first discovered,” she said. “My creators sent me on a mission when I was struck by lightning and my original programming was erased. They restored me, and Gadget took measures to upgrade me and prevent such an event from occurring again. Their actions saved my life, and they are the reason I am here now.”

Gadget beamed and Mr. Vanderbull puffed his broad chest out with pride.

Maud’s eyes widened slightly. “In that case,” she began, giving them both a solemn bow, “thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without Turing here now.”

“Mr. Vanderbull, this is Maud Pie, the mare I intend to marry.”

“My, how wonderful!” Vanderbull exclaimed. “And when is the date?”

“We are already dating.”

Vanderbull laughed. “No, no, I meant, when is the date of your wedding?”

Turing hesitated. “Ah. I see. That is currently undetermined.”

“We’re waiting for the best time,” Maud said simply.

“Affirmative,” Turing said. “We are both in the early stages of our careers. We wish to establish ourselves and a clear status quo before proceeding to a state of matrimonial bliss.”

“Well, at any rate, congratulations!” Vanderbull snapped his fingers and a waiter came over with a tray of glasses filled with champagne. He took one and gestured to the others. “Care to join me in a toast to old and new friends? We may not have time once the event starts.”

“I don’t usually drink,” Maud said, taking a glass of champagne, “but I owe you both a lot, so I’ll have some too.”

“And since Turing’s a robot, I’ll take her share!” Gadget said, eagerly reaching for a second glass.

“Gadget!” Vanderbull snapped.

“Ah, right, Commodore, still on the clock, my bad,” she muttered, putting her hoof down.

Vanderbull took a long sip. “Ah, exquisite,” he sighed. “Don Mareignon, 988. Clean, bright… toasty with a note of apple.”

Maud looked at her glass and took a swig. “It’s fizzy,” she said.

Vanderbull raised an eyebrow, but then chuckled. “Why, yes, I suppose it is!”

“I wish I were able to enjoy it myself,” Turing said. “Still, I am very grateful to you for sponsoring this event, Mr. Vanderbull.”

“Think nothing of it!” Vanderbull said. “When I heard of your plan to host a series of symposiums across Equestria and invite those on the cutting edge of this new technological revolution, I knew at once that Vanderbull Industries had to play its part!”

There was a pronounced guffaw and they all looked up to see a pegasus mare hovering just above them. She wore a derisive look as she gazed down at them, though her focus was particularly trained on Vanderbull. She was a dusty yellow color with a cowboy hat that she wore over her red-orange mane. She had bright blue eyes and a matching blue bandana tied around her neck. Her cutie mark was a river running through a sandy desert.

“More like you wanna get in on the action before anypony else does, huh?” the mare said, crossing her forelegs as she hovered.

Vanderbull narrowed his eyes. “Ah, Rio Grand, how perfectly dreadful it is to see you again. I wasn’t sure your RSVP was serious.”

“It sure was!” Rio said, lowering herself to meet his gaze. “I know you probably didn’t want me around, but lucky for me, the Minister here had the final say on who could attend.”

Turing’s ears twitched on their hinges. “Ah. Miss Rio Grand from Neigh Mexicolt. You requested to do a presentation on hydroelectric dams, correct?”

“That’s right!” Rio replied, fluttering down to meet Vanderbull at his eye level. “I’m here to advance technology for the benefit of the ponies of Equestria. Unlike some creatures here.”

Vanderbull glared back at her, a growl in his throat. “Miss Rio, I will have you know that I have invested quite a lot into this event in support of Minister Turing’s goals. I purchased this hotel, paid for the ferry from the mainland, and am offering accommodations here free of charge. Furthermore, I renovated this old place and had it furnished with electric lighting.” He gestured up at the huge chandelier. “My assistant checked the work herself to make certain it would be ready in time for the convenience of the attendees, yourself included. And I hired one of the most renowned chefs in all of Trottingham to prepare tonight’s meal. All of this at great personal expense—”

“Sir,” Gadget hissed, tapping him urgently. “Commodore, you’re a little loud and, um, ponies are starting to notice.”

Vanderbull froze, noticing the scrutiny of the other ponies nearby, and took a calming breath. “In short, I am supporting this event and its attendees as much as possible.”

Rio Grand clicked her tongue. “Oh, sure. But I’m sure this is nothing for a rich fella like you. And this way you can scout out any new tech that looks promising, buy a share of it, and maybe even buy up some patent rights, huh? Give everypony a free trip, a nice meal, and some hooch in a fancy place like this and they’ll give you first pick on their best ideas. You’ll make your money back in no time, eh?”

A puff of what looked like steam gusted from Vanderbull’s nostrils. He quickly downed the remainder of his champagne.

“Minister, it was lovely to see you and meet your fiancée,” he said calmly, though one of his fists was firmly clenched. “But I will take my leave of you before I say something I regret to our guest here.”

Rio Grand chuckled as she watched him go.

“Well, that’s enough fun for now,” she muttered. “I’ll be presenting just before the intermission, so I’ll chat with you all then. In the meantime, thanks again for the invite, Minister!” she added, tipping her hat to Turing Test before flying off once more.

The three mares watched her go in silence.

“I was not aware of any grudge between Mr. Vanderbull and the attendees,” Turing said quietly.

“I don’t know all the details either,” Gadget said, “but the two of them met at some big auction or something in Neigh Mexicolt, and he bought a spot of land near Al-buck-querque that she wanted. Whatever it was, she’s still mad about it.” She drank the last of her champagne. “I should probably go with Mr. Vanderbull, get him calmed down, and see to the last few preparations before we start. That sort of thing.”

They waved as she ran off.

“You know what’s nice about rocks, Turing?” Maud asked.

“Everything, Maud Pie?”

“True. But one thing in particular: they don’t get caught up in drama.” She paused. “Well, unless we’re speaking in geological terms. Or the rapid formation of extrusive igneous rocks. Or I guess if a boulder fell on somepony.” She took out her pet rock and pet him gently. “No need to get offended, Boulder. You are such a drama queen sometimes. I guess you are the exception that proves the rule.”

“I admit that such unpleasantness from Sea Dweller and Rio Grand surprised me. But hopefully there will not be any further conflict this evening.”

Just then there was a splash and a chorus of gasps from a nearby table. Maud and Turing looked in the direction of the commotion and saw Sea Dweller storming away from a stallion who was now dripping wet, a pair of assistants standing protectively in front of him.

“Is everything all right?” Turing asked as she approached the stallion.

“Oh, no worries, Minister,” chuckled the stallion. “Just the usual bit of hysterics from one of my detractors.”

One of his assistants handed him a cloth, and he proceeded to towel himself off. Once he was a bit drier, he extended his hoof.

“West Walnut, Minister Turing Test,” he said, flashing a broad smile. The stallion was a light blue earth pony with a gray mane and tail and bushy mustache to match. He wore a suit jacket from a brand that Turing had learned was quite expensive. Curiously, his cutie mark was a large cardboard box with a yellow smiley face on it.

“It is nice to make your acquaintance, Mr. Walnut,” Turing said, taking his hoof. “I am looking forward to your presentation on automation in the retail industry. But I am currently more concerned about your altercation with Sea Dweller a moment ago.”

“She was among a very vocal group of ponies who protested my plans to open one of my Walnut-Mart stores near Filly Hawk,” he explained, a slight twang in his speech. “She was not happy to see me here, and remarked that I should be glad her friend Beacon Bomber wasn’t here. I rather bluntly let her know my exact thoughts on what I thought of that rabble rouser and, as you can see, she didn’t take it very well.”

“I am sorry that you were treated so roughly, sir,” Turing said with a bow. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“You are too kind, Minister!” West Walnut said, flashing a toothy smile. “But there’s no need to worry. I’ll dry myself off and be quite prepared for my presentation. It is in the 2nd half of the Symposium, after all.”

“Understood. However, I must inform you that Beacon Bomber may still arrive this evening.”

His smile faded slightly. “Oh really?”

“He stated that he might be tardy, and that he would be flying directly to the island himself.”

“Bit surprised that wash-out could manage that,” he muttered.

“What I mean is that it would probably be for the best if you avoided any confrontation with either Ms. Sea Dweller or Mr. Beacon Bomber,” Turing said. She focused her glowing violet eyes squarely on him. “I would very much like it if the rest of this evening proceeded smoothly.”

West Walnut nodded slowly. “I understand, Minister,” he said. “Well, if you’ll excuse me and my assistants, I’ll go and fetch my spare suit, since this one is still a bit damp.”

She bowed and watched him go, motioning to his assistants to follow him.

Maud placed a hoof on her shoulder. Turing patted it back.

“I had not realized there were so many interpersonal conflicts among the presenters,” she said. “But the event will be starting in a few more minutes. I am confident that there will be no more conflict during these proceedings.”

Maud narrowed her eyes. “Turing, have you ever heard of ‘tempting fate?’”

“Affirmative. Miss Tempting Fate is sitting at table 5,” she said, pointing the mare out. “She is seated next to Mr. Red Herring and Mr. Check Off, who is presenting some sort of firearm. But you should find your own seat, Maud Pie. It is time for us to begin…”

To be continued…