Chapters The White Tail Woods were even more quiet that night, as if the forest itself was watching apprehensively. In the darkest, densest depths, ominous lights glowed from the windows of a cottage in a clearing.
Inside, a dark-coloured unicorn loomed over a cauldron. Her lavender mane flowed from beneath her wide-brimmed hat, its point crooked at the tip. Her cutie mark, a cauldron with a lollipop sticking out of the pink liquid within, adjourned her thick flanks. Her horn glowed with a similar purple as she carried tomes and sheets of paper in her magical grip. She wrote with her quill and flipped through pages, rubbing her hoof on her chin.
Then her brow softened. “Yes, I think I’ve cracked it,” she said, a wicked smile growing across her face. Her magic floated a small jar toward her, and she looked at the pulsating black entity inside. “You’re going to be quite a help, my dear.”
The entity tapped against the glass, like it was angrily fighting its way out. The mare found it quite endearing. She was a lot older than she looked, and she knew a lot more about magic than most. Especially dark magic.
“In you go, little one,” she said softly, opening the jar lid and forcing the dark magic into the cauldron. “Don’t be shy.”
The moment the entity touched the bubbling surface, the green liquid darkened ominously, before starting to boil. She stepped back, and with a violent puff of magical smoke, the cauldron returned to boiling as normal. Ignoring the mess of books and quills around her, she approached and peered inside, seeing the liquid was still a menacing inky black.
“Yes, I think this is it,” she said with a satisfied smile. “But only one way to be sure. Who would be the best fit to test this on, I wonder?”
Her horn glowed and a small beam of lavender magic into the dark liquid. It began to swirl, and a shimmering image was projected to her in the centre, bright enough to light the room.
She nodded, a wicked gleam in her eye as her smile turned into a smirk. “Ahh, who better? And I know just how to do it.”
With a swing of her horn, a slender stream of dark energy, like a translucent tendril, slithered out of the window and through the trees beyond the clearing. She peered into her cauldron, eager to watch the events unfold.
One who didn’t know Pinkie Pie would think she was overworking herself with how she was speeding around the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, but this was actually a slow pace for her. The earth pony was whizzing around like a pastel blur, rolling dough and mixing batter. She was doing a miraculous job of keeping the noise down while the town of Ponyville slept around her.
She opened the oven and fished out a large cake, coloured purple with some big pink stars on the top, its edges lined with fluffy frosting. The sight and smell was perfect, and she allowed herself a satisfied smile. She lifted up a spoon and looked at her flour-coated reflection in it.
“Alrighty, Pinkie,” she said to herself, “Twilight is coming in a couple of days, and you’ve gotta get her ‘Welcome Back to Ponyville Even If It’s Just a Visit’ party just right.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” her deformed reflection scoffed. “Nopony knows Twilight’s preferences better than you. You’ve got the vanilla ice cream cake down pat, enough red balloons to lift Ponyville into the air, and there won’t be a single quesadilla in sight.”
“But what if the cake’s too vanilla-y?” worried Pinkie, her ears flopping. “What if I’m a red balloon short? What if a quesadilla sneaks in? You know what they’re like: too cheesy for their own good sometimes. Maybe I oughta do a few more batches, just to make su–”
She suddenly slapped a hoof across her face.
“Get a hold of yourself, mare!” her reflection demanded. “You’re Pinkie Pie - Ponyville’s Party Pony P…extraordinaire! You’ve got this covered, and everypony’s gonna love it. Especially Twilight.”
Pinkie took a deep breath. “You’re right, me,” she said. “I’m gonna focus on making sure everypony has a great time at the party. And if any hitches pop up, I’ll fix ‘em up Pinkie style.”
“Attagirl,” said her reflection. “Now get back out there!”
“Yes, ma’am!” Pinkie saluted and set down the spoon. She took a moment to reflect on what had just happened, then made a decision. “I need some sleep.”
A yawn escaping her, she walked toward the door… then zipped back to the counter, her eyes bugging out. The cake was still there, but she didn’t remember using black colouring for the batter. And those stars were certainly pink, not dark spooky purple. And the frosting was certainly white, not dark creepy blue.
Pinkie furrowed her brow and tilted her head. “Now what in the hay happened here?” she wondered. She reached into her puffy pink mane and fished out a cookbook, and started flipping through its pages with her eyes darting. “Did I use a messed up recipe? That’s how a cake ends up crazy.”
She found the recipe and checked it six times, then a lucky seventh for good measure, but she’d followed it to the letter. And she was certain she’d made it cute and friendly, not spooky and unpleasant.
Her nose wiggled as the scent of vanilla and frosting flowed into it. It certainly smelled right… in fact, it smelled the rightest any cake ever smelled. And she should know. It smelled so right that she was tempted to take a bite.
“A good baker’s gotta taste test,” she said sagely. “And this is just a test cake anyway - I can always whip up another.”
With that, she took a hearty chomp from the edge of the cake, getting dark batter and frosting all over her face. She gulped down the mouthful and her eyes widened. A bolt of black lightning danced across her eyes. It was delicious. The most delicious cake she’d ever baked. The most delicious cake she’d ever tasted.
She took another, larger bite.
She wanted more.
A larger bite.
She needed more.
Pinkie used her hooves to shovel globs of the dark treat into her maw, grunting and snorting like a pig. But not only had she not noticed this desperation to devour, she was also oblivious to the physical change she was undergoing. Her bright pink coat and poofy mane and tail were turning a darker shade, as if she were standing out of the light. Her cutie mark, a trio of bright balloons, also took on a darker shade and, peculiarly, swelled up as if more air had been pumped into them.
Quite fitting, as when she’d licked the cake tin clean of any crumbs and icing, her stomach was rather resembling a swollen balloon itself. An ominous dark pink balloon.
“Oh, that was the yummiest cake I ever did bake!” she chirped, her eyes still as blue as a cloudless daytime sky. “I dunno how I did it, but I know I’ve gotta do it again!”
She prepared herself to start whizzing around the kitchen again, but then paused to peer out the window at the town outside. Another bolt of black lightning danced around her eyes, and a big grin crossed her muzzle.
“It wouldn’t be fair if Twilight got such a scrummilicious cake all to herself,” she said. “It’s so good, everypony should get a taste!”
And with newfound vigour, Pinkie Pie sped around the bakery…
Twilight Sparkle yawned as she relaxed on the train seat. Having been recently crowned the new Princess of Equestria, the alicorn had been working her tail off almost nonstop. She was looking forward to this break, even if it was just for a week.
“Lunch with King Rutherford regarding pony/yak relations,” muttered a little dragon sitting across from her, his snout buried in a scroll long enough for the bottom to touch the floor under him. “Then there’s the grand opening of the Starswirl Museum of Magical History we need to be there for, and the official peace signing with Dragon Lord Ember, then–”
“All of that isn’t until next week, Spike,” said Twilight.
“Just making sure we’re not missing anything,” said the dragon as he rolled the scroll back up. “No slip-ups, right?”
Twilight smiled. Spike had been her stalwart assistant long before her ascension to Princess, and she was glad she had him to keep her on track. She was sure half of Canterlot would have burned down by now if he wasn’t around to help share the load.
“I just got finished with organising a trade route between Equestria and Klugetown,” she reminded him. “If I can handle that, I can manage a few meetings with the leaders I’m already friendly with.”
“Good point,” Spike conceded.
“This is the only quiet week I have right now, and I’m taking full advantage of it,” Twilight went on. “Especially after dealing with that Verko again.”
Spike shuddered and hugged himself. “I hear that. I didn’t think my scales could crawl until I saw that mug.”
Twilight groaned quietly in agreement. “Well, hopefully we won’t have to see him again for a while. It’ll be good to see some friendly faces again. No doubt Pinkie Pie’s putting a big party together to welcome us back.”
“She knows we’re just on vacation, right?” Spike asked, then shrugged his little shoulders. “But then, Pinkies gonna Pinkie, right?”
“Oh, she’s never gonna change,” said Twilight with a smile. She couldn’t wait to see her old friends again. Sure, they’d poke their heads in and say hello if they were in Canterlot, but it felt a lot different going to them. A lot more personal. She just hoped she wasn’t going to receive the ‘royal treatment’ when she got there - before she ascended to become ruler of the land, she was just a Ponyville mare.
The train soon slowed to a stop at the Ponyville station, and Twilight gave her wings a stretch once she was out on the platform. Her horn glowed, and she lifted her luggage from the cargo hold. Even if it was for a whole week, she chose to pack light. She only hoped her assistant brought his essentials and not just a load of gems and Power Ponies comics again.
“No welcome wagon, huh?” Spike said.
“The party’s probably at Starlight’s castle, or Sugarcube Corner,” said Twilight, her tongue sliding across her lips. “I can smell Pinkie’s baking already.”
Spike found himself looking aside. “Uhh, Twilight? I don’t think that’s Pinkie you’re smelling…”
Twilight followed his gaze, and her eyes widened. Further down the platform, a wide pony was trying to wriggle her oversized stomach into the train car. Her thick legs wiggled as her hooves dragged against the platform.
“Suck it in, Lyra!” another mare behind her grunted, shoving herself against the first’s blubbery backside, sinking into the soft flab. Her chubby cheeks dimpled as she grimaced from the effort.
“I am sucking in, Bonbon!” Lyra groaned, her lashing tail batting against Bonbon’s face. “They gotta make these trains bigger.”
“Bonbon and Lyra?” Spike said, keeping his voice low so only Twilight heard. “They’ve… let themselves go, huh? Must be hitting the sweets hard.”
“That’s not what I’m concerned about, Spike,” said Twilight. “Look at their coats and manes. They definitely weren’t a matching dark purple when I last saw them.”
“I need some energy to get your fat butt in there,” Bonbon decided. She reached into her saddlebag and fished out a slice of black cake, which she greedily chomped down on.
Lyra’s tail perked up and she desperately wiggled her fat flanks side to side. “Hey, throw a slice through the window or something, would ya?”
The two watched as the massive mares got some help from the train conductor, before Spike tensed up. He gagged softly, then with a burst of green fire, magically belched up a scroll.
“A message?” asked Twilight. “What’s it say?”
Spike unfurled the scroll and read aloud. “Twilight, come to the castle ASAP. Something weird going on in Ponyville. Starlight.”
Twilight and Spike slowly walked through Ponyville, their eyes wide and jaws dropped. Like Lyra and Bonbon, ponies had ballooned into dark purple blobs of quivering flab. Whether they were slowly waddling around, their stomachs dragging on the ground and their flanks jiggling with each step, or they were sitting on benches and chairs and causing them to bend, Twilight and Spike noticed one constant: they were all happily eating a strange dark cake. All who saw Twilight happily greeted her with a wave of their thick hooves, as if it were just a normal day.
“Maybe it’s a new fashion trend?” Spike guessed. “And… snacking trend?”
“I don’t think this is just a fad,” said Twilight. “This looks more like an epidemic .”
“Check that out,” said Spike as he pointed toward a building styled like a giant cupcake. Like the train, two ponies were struggling to fit one’s wide frame through the door, but the difference this time was that there was a line of darkened ponies waiting eagerly to go inside. Like overgrown berries waiting to be juiced, Spike bit back from saying aloud.
“Those ponies look hungry ,” Twilight noted with a concerned frown. “I hope they’re not working Pinkie too hard, but I’m sure she’s handled worse.”
The two travelled a little ways out of town and arrived at a large castle that seemed to be built into a giant tree made of crystal. It once belonged to Twilight herself, but she allowed her student ownership after officially moving to Canterlot. She pushed one of the large doors with her hoof and the two went into the entrance hall.
“Starlight?” Twilight called. “Are you here?”
With a sudden flash of light, a lilac unicorn popped in front of them wearing an exasperated frown. “I told you, I don’t want any–oh, Twilight, Spike. Thank Celestia you’re here.”
Starlight Glimmer ushered the two inside and closed the door, making sure it was locked behind them. When she was sure they were safe, she gave Twilight a quick hug and Spike a gentle pat on the head.
“It’s great to see you two again,” she went on, “but you’ve probably seen what’s going on.”
“What’s going on, Starlight?” asked Twilight. “Why is everypony so… soft ?”
“I have no idea,” said Starlight. “I was in the castle library for a few days, reorganising my spell books in order of subject, author and release date–” Twilight proudly smiled ear to ear when she heard that. “–and next thing I knew, it’d been a couple of days. I decided I needed some natural light and fresh air, so I went outside and boom: Blob Town. Population: All.”
“You weren’t messing around with any weird spells again, were you?” asked Spike. He blinked as both mares glared at him. “What? Gotta rule out all the possibilities.”
“I learned my lesson from the last time I tried casting spells on ponies,” said Starlight. “Whatever happened to the town, it wasn’t me.”
“What about the others?” asked Twilight. “Do they know?”
“I haven’t seen them,” said Starlight, “but if everypony else is any indication, they’re at least not in danger. Everypony seems to be acting normally, apart from being obsessed over this cake.”
“Cake?” Twilight repeated. “You think it’s connected?”
Starlight nodded, a solemn frown on her face. “It’s gotta be. Not only is everypony stuffing their faces with it, but they’re trying to get me to eat it too. The worst part is, it looks and smells so good …”
Twilight easily found the irony in Starlight rebelling against becoming just like everypony else, but she kept it to herself. “Don’t lose that resilience,” she said instead.
“I did notice Sugarcube Corner has been really busy though,” Starlight added. “You might not get to Pinkie until after they close.”
“We’ll leave her till last then,” said Twilight. “Rarity’s the second closest, so we’ll start with her and work our way outward.”
“I hope she’s okay,” said Spike. “If anypony’s hurt her…”
A bell tinkled as Twilight and Spike entered Carousel Boutique. The interior was just as impressive as ever, with violet drapes hanging along the walls and beautiful outfits strewn on mannequins.
“Doesn’t seem any different,” said Twilight with relief in her voice. “Maybe Rarity’s alright?”
“Check out these dresses,” said Spike, tugging at the hem of a frilly number hanging on a rack. “Looks like they were made for yaks.”
Twilight joined him and investigated for herself. Indeed, there was something different about the outfits on display: while they certainly looked like what Rarity would create, they also looked a lot roomier. Twilight felt like she’d disappear if she tried wearing that dress.
“I’m sure there’s an explanation,” said Twilight. She put a hoof beside her mouth and called out, “Rarity! Are you here?”
“One moment!” they heard from the back. A familiar voice filled with exerted grunting and panting. “Oof… almost there…!”
A lump formed in Twilight’s throat as she watched a huge, dark purple blob wriggling through the doorway to the shop front. It sported a unicorn horn on its forehead, and on top was a familiarly curly mane.
“Rarity…?!” Spike croaked.
“Twilight!” the blob gasped in a familiar voice. “What a delight to see you again!”
Twilight and Spike found themselves rooted to the floor in shock as Rarity awkwardly waddled toward them. Her stomach, sticking out between her elephantine legs, swung side to side like a pendulum. The alicorn found herself nearly smothered in a wall of fat and fluff as Rarity swung her front legs around her.
“And of course I’m happy to see you too, Spike,” she cooed, nuzzling her cherubic cheek against Spike’s face.
Spike could only stare up at the wide glob of mare looming over him. A thick roll of fat hid her neck, and her gigantic flanks sported a trio of blue, spherical gems instead of the usual diamonds.
“I, uh,” he muttered, trying to remain tactful as Twilight often warned him to, “how’ve you been…?”
“Oh, I’ve been wonderful,” said Rarity, her cheeks dimpling from her smile. “Ever since I had such a sudden blast of inspiration.”
“I remember you said you were having creator’s block for a while,” Twilight said, nodding.
“But you’ve probably seen that everypony has become quite… zaftig,” Rarity explained, rolling her thick hoof as she picked out the most polite word. “Far be it from me to judge anypony’s appearance, of course.”
Especially not now, Twilight thought. She could smell cake batter on her friend’s breath as she spoke.
“I looked at those ponies, then at my dresses,” Rarity continued, “and it hit me: plus-size fashion! Ponies shouldn’t be deprived of looking fabulous just because they enjoy a bite to eat, yes? My More to Love line has been a hit locally, and I’ll be launching it across Equestria within the week.”
“That’s wonderful, Rarity,” said Twilight, her hesitation just small enough for the fatty fashionista to not notice. At least she seemed to be in her right frame of mind.
“Oh, speaking of eating,” Rarity went on, “you must try this new cake Pinkie Pie whipped up. It’s simply divine !”
Twilight and Spike watched as a plate sped out from the back, and the alicorn peered at the slice of cake under her nose. The black batter and dark purple frosting sent a chill down her back. That certainly didn’t look like something Pinkie Pie would create.
But it certainly smelled like it. A warm scent of fresh baking and sugar wafted into her nostrils, and she had to swallow a pool of saliva forming in her mouth. She could almost hear it calling to her.
Eat me… eat me…
Her pupils dilated and her mouth snapped shut. She could hear it!
“Thanks but, um, I ate on the train,” Twilight said, politely pushing the plate away.
“Are you sure, darling?” asked Rarity. “You won’t regret just a little taste.”
“I’m sure,” Twilight insisted, taking a step back. “I’ve gotta go check in on the others anyway. I’m a bit behind schedule.”
“Uh, yeah, me too,” Spike agreed, reversing toward the door with her. “I gotta cut down on non-dragon food anyway.”
“Oh well,” said Rarity, before greedily cramming the slice into her mouth with a moan. “Mmff, we musht get the girlsh together shometime in the week.”
“Oh, will do,” said Twilight, she and Spike waving at her before exiting Carousel Boutique.
“What in Celestia’s name happened to her?!” hissed Spike the moment the door closed. “She’d never let herself go like that!”
“She definitely wasn’t self-testing that new fashion line,” said Twilight. “She’s just as fat and purple as everypony else, but what’s weird is she doesn’t seem to notice. In fact, none of them do!”
“It’s gotta be that cake,” said Spike. He peered across the town square, spotting the line to Sugarcube Corner amongst the sea of overly juicy berry whales. “”We’re still not getting to Pinkie anytime soon.”
“At least it means she’s not going anywhere anytime soon,” said Twilight. “For now, we should check on Fluttershy, Applejack and–”
“INCOMING!!” they heard over their heads. The two stumbled back just as yet another purple lump of mare fat slammed onto the ground with a grunt. Her stomach bounced in place before finally settling.
“Rainbow Dash?!” gasped Twilight.
“Twilight! Spike!” Rainbow Dash grinned cheerfully. “Long time no see!”
Normally, Rainbow Dash was a light blue pegasus with a wild rainbow-coloured mane and tail, and quite a fit and athletic one at that. She was a proud weather pony and stunt pony for the Wonderbolts, but Twilight couldn’t help but think she more resembled a sluggish balloon rather than a swift flyer. Her wings were unfurled, flopped lazily against her berry-coloured mass. Her mane was even messier than usual from a lack of brushing. Her cutie mark, usually a rainbow thunderbolt striking from a white cloud, looked more like a fat grey rain cloud with its thunderbolt’s edges softened and thickened.
“That was… quite an entrance,” Spike commented as Dash slowly got to her hooves with a grunt. He peered under her belly, which was inches from the floor as she stood, and saw a crack in the ground beneath her.
“Sorry about nearly falling on ya,” she went on. “Thought I made that cloud good and strong, but I guess they don’t make ‘em like they used to, huh?”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Twilight said, trying not to stare at how Rainbow Dash was so large there was a thick roll of fat where her neck should be. “So, um, how are the Wonderbolts doing?”
“Oh, we’re still the best,” chirped Dash, her dimpled cheeks making her cocky grin look more endearing. “We’re taking a break right now, which works for me. Being awesome really takes it out of you, so all I wanna do lately is chill .”
Twilight thought drily that it wasn’t just being awesome that was wearing Dash out, by the looks of her.
“That, and my uniform’s gotten really tight lately,” Dash went on. “Must’ve shrunk when I washed it or something, because now I’ve gotta wait till Rarity finishes fixing it.”
“Fixing it?” Spike repeated. “Wait, did it…?”
“Got this urge to throw it on and go for a fly yesterday,” explained Dash, “but when I finally got the zip up… rrrrrrip ! Right on the butt.” Twilight’s cheeks flushed and she had to avert her gaze when her friend wiggled her oversized flanks for emphasis, sending her buttocks slowly jiggling and bouncing like water balloons. “So Rarity’s gonna patch up the hole and gimme a bit of room to breathe while she’s at it.”
“Maybe you should quit stuffing your–” Spike blurted out, only stopping thanks to a slap on the back of the head from Twilight’s hoof. “Uhh, maybe you should switch fabric softeners…?”
“It’s not all bad,” said Dash with a shrug. “Pinkie’s been making this sick cake lately. Hey, you tried some yet?”
“Um, not yet,” said Twilight, before watching Dash fold one of her wings and produce a slice of that familiar dessert from beneath it.
“I’m not a sweets pony, but this is the best cake ever ,” Dash beamed, grabbing the slice in her hoof and holding it toward Twilight. “Here, my treat.”
Twilight stared at the cake, her ears flopping down. It smelled just as good as the one Rarity offered her, and it felt just as tempting to grab it.
Eat me… she heard inside her head.
She shook her head. “Thanks, Rainbow, but I ate before I got here. Still pretty stuffed.”
Dash shrugged and crammed the slice into her own mouth. Black crumbs and purple frosting covered her muzzle as she chomped with an open mouth like a pig.
“You’ve probably got stuff to do before we all get together later,” she mumbled, before swallowing. “I’m gonna get back to chillin’.”
Dash’s wings flapped, prompting Twilight and Spike to step back. The pegasus’s chunky legs bended before she hopped into the air… getting about two inches off the ground before flopping back onto her stomach.
“Wumph!” Dash grunted. With a confused raise of her eyebrow, she tried again.
“Oof!”
And again.
“Gah!”
Her spherical form heaved up and down as she panted and wheezed with exertion. “Unh… I guess my wings are gettin’ a head start on chillin’...”
“Yeah, that’s totally what it is,” Spike said flatly.
Twilight frowned. As concerned as she was that her friends were succumbing to this weird cake, she never could stand by and watch them struggle. She unfurled her own wings and deftly leapt into the air, grabbing fluffy white clouds around the Ponyville airspace. As she flew, she grimaced at the fat purple ponies below. The town looked like a great big vineyard, and she wasn’t sure why. She saw the line at Sugarcube Corner had shortened a little, but she still had to wait a bit. She knew for a fact Pinkie Pie wouldn’t do this voluntarily, and she was determined to find out who was controlling her.
For the moment, she brought a large collection of white fluff back to Rainbow Dash and mashed them together to create a cloud the size of a carriage. She brought it down to the ground and, with a glow of her horn, helped the plus-size pegasus clumsily climb onto it.
“Oh, it’s so soft !” Dash sighed, almost disappearing into the cloud when she gratefully flopped down on it. “You’re a real one, Twi.”
“Being an alicorn has its perks,” Twilight said, allowing herself a proud smile. With some magic and a flick of her head, she sent the cloud gently rising up into the air. She could swear she already heard snoring from it as it lazily floated around.
“Seems she’s just the same too,” said Spike. “Y’know, besides the…”
Twilight rolled her eyes as Spike puffed out his cheeks and spread his arms out.
“I do know something for sure,” she said. “That cake isn’t Pinkie’s doing. At least, not voluntarily. Somepony’s gotta be using dark magic to make it speak to you like that.”
“Speak?” repeated Spike, blinking.
“When I looked at it, I could hear it talking to me,” Twilight explained, her wings ruffling as she shuddered. “Telling me to eat it. And I wanted to.”
“You sure you’re not imagining it, Twilight?” asked Spike. “I looked at it too, and I didn’t hear anything. Guess the evil cake curse doesn’t work on dragons,” he snorted.
Twilight rubbed her chin, her brow furrowing. “Doesn’t work on dragons,” she repeated quietly. “Or maybe it’s the other way around: it only works on ponies.”
She looked into the distance, in the direction of the Everfree Forest.
“And I know just the pony who can confirm it for sure.”
Just before the entrance to the dark, foreboding Everfree Forest was a friendly, welcoming cottage, its treetop-like roof peppered with bird feeders. Twilight and Spike looked around as they approached, seeing that the many feeders for wild animals were filled and clean. The wild flowers surrounding the cottage were overgrown, but that was nothing out of the ordinary.
“No sign of disrepair or neglect,” Twilight noted with relief in her voice.
“Maybe it’s not as bad as we thought,” Spike hoped.
“We need to see for ourselves.” The two got to the porch and Twilight politely rapped her hoof on the wooden half-door. Immediately on the third knock, the door’s top half swung open and a narrow face leaned right out at the alicorn, prompting her to yelp and stumble back.
“Ugh, another of those purple ponies,” he said with a roll of his yellowed eyes. Their red pupils immediately locked onto Twilight. “Hold on, you can still walk properly… ahh, Princess Twilight Sparkle! And Spike, too!”
The face’s tall, noodle-like body slithered outside and loomed over the two. Twilight would recognise those slender, mismatched features anywhere. Mainly because there was only one draconequus in Equestria.
“Discord,” she panted, a hoof on her chest. “It’s only you.”
The god of chaos bowed before Twilight, bending over so much he was eye-level with the alicorn. “Such a pleasure to see you two again, and both in your right minds too. Means we can get in a game of Ogres and Oubliettes when Big Mac returns from his little errand,” he added while ruffling the frills on Spike’s head.
“In our right minds?” Twilight repeated. “So you’ve seen what’s going on around Ponyville?”
“Indeed I have,” said Discord, before defensively raising his arms. “And before you ask, it wasn’t me this time. My kind of harmless mischief, I will say, but not my kind of execution. If I wanted to fatten up Ponyville, I’d be breaking out the clouds of chocolate rain.”
Twilight hadn’t considered Discord to be behind the epidemic, though she was indeed too calm to be his doing. Discord was the god of disharmony, who had a history of trying to turn Equestria into the chaos capital of the world and being turned into a stone statue for his efforts. Though, Twilight’s friend Fluttershy had managed to befriend him and cause him to at least attempt to behave himself. He still made his fair share of messes, but at least nowadays he meant well.
“It is pretty low-key for you,” Spike agreed.
“Exactly,” Discord said. “My paws, talons, hooves and claws are clean.” He hovered in the air and pointed all four limbs toward Twilight and Spike. They were indeed polished to a shine.
“Don’t worry, I believe you,” Twilight assured him. “Is Fluttershy home?”
With a white flash, Discord was suddenly wearing a footman’s suit and he pushed the bottom half of the door open. “Right this way, esteemed guests,” he said, politely ushering the two inside.
Twilight was relieved to see the inside of the cottage was just the same as ever, clean and sporting some soft inviting furniture. She could pick up the aroma of scented candles trying to mask the smell of kibble and animal fur.
“I think I do a good job keeping things presentable, don’t you?” said Discord, who was suddenly in a maid’s dress. He conjured a duster into his paw and brushed at the knick-knacks on the shelf. “Not exactly my idea of ‘neat and tidy’, but it makes Fluttershy happy.”
“Where is Fluttershy anyway?” asked Spike.
“Up in her room,” said Discord, before adding in a low voice, “and I’d suggest you keep any comments to yourself.”
Twilight shivered. When Discord got serious, it had to be dire. His glare was so icy she almost expected a blizzard to throw the front door open.
“We’re just here to check if she’s okay,” she said after a deep breath. “You know, with what’s going on in town.”
Discord immediately flashed back to a friendly smile, as if the thinly-veiled threat never happened. “Oh, I know.”
Twilight travelled upstairs, steeling herself for what she was expecting to find. Though, as much as she understood why Discord answered the door, why did Fluttershy never come downstairs to join them?
She apprehensively knocked on the bedroom door. “Fluttershy? It’s me.”
“Twilight?” a familiar voice gasped. “Oh, please come in!”
Twilight pushed the door open, and where was once Fluttershy’s bed was indeed a huge, purple-coated blob with a dark pink mane and tail. Like Rainbow Dash, her wings were lazily flopped on her round stomach sides. Her cutie mark had become a trio of fat butterflies that looked like they were asleep. But what shocked Twilight this time was, while Rarity and Rainbow Dash were at least somewhat mobile, Fluttershy’s stomach had grown so much that her hooves were nowhere near the floor. Her thick legs were buried into her blubber, and they wiggled pathetically with her excitement.
“It’s so good to see you again,” said Fluttershy, her voice just as soft as her body.
“You too,” Twilight muttered, managing a smile as she approached. Her wings ruffled when she realised she had to crane her neck up to look at Fluttershy, who was normally the most demure and petite of her friends.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come downstairs,” Fluttershy said, her head lowering as much as her thick neck fat would allow. “I, um, can’t really move right now.”
Spike was about to make a comment, but kept his mouth shut. Not only did he feel Discord staring holes into the back of his head - almost literally - but he saw what she meant: mice, squirrels, robins and other small animals were nestled against her stomach, happily dozing away. Twilight gently flew up and saw more of them were curled up amongst Fluttershy’s back rolls. She couldn’t help but find the sight rather sweet.
“You’re like their mother, huh?” she asked.
“I suppose you could say that,” Fluttershy agreed with a little smile, her purple cherubic cheeks flushing a shade of pink. She suddenly let out a squeak of surprise, followed by a giggle that sent her expanse bouncing softly. “Oh, something’s tickling…!”
“Wow, no wonder they’re so comfy,” said Spike as he gently kneaded his claws into Fluttershy’s stomach. “You’re so soft and warm .”
“Spike!” Twilight admonished him.
“Oh, it’s okay,” Fluttershy assured her. “All my little friends say the same thing. It’s quite flattering, actually.”
“I’m guessing you’ve had some of Pinkie Pie’s new cake?” asked Twilight. She already knew the answer, but as many perspectives as she could get, the better.
“Oh yes,” said Fluttershy, her tail flicking happily at the mention of it. “Just the other day, she started going around town and sharing it with everypony. And she keeps making more and more!”
Guuurrrrrgle…
If Fluttershy’s hooves could meet in the middle anymore, she would have tapped them together while she smiled bashfully. “Oh dear, just talking about it gets me hungry.”
“Allow me, my dear,” said Discord, and with a snap of his talon, one of those black and purple cakes was hovering in front of Fluttershy.
“Oh, thank you so much, Discord!” she chirped. “Would you like some, Twilight?”
Twilight was quick to politely decline the offer, already hearing the voice starting to pipe up in her head. Fluttershy busying herself with taking dainty bites gave Discord a chance to chime in.
“I’ve been doing a little investigating myself,” he said, sidling up to Twilight. She turned her head and saw him suddenly wearing a tweed jacket and hunter’s cap, blowing bubbles out of a pipe. “It seems to only work on ponies.”
“You didn’t try giving it to Fluttershy’s animals, did you?” asked Spike.
“Of course I did,” Discord answered bluntly. “Fluttershy asked me to give them little crumbs of the stuff as a treat, but none of them seemed interested. Not even her little long-eared friend wanted anything to do with it, and you know how he is with treats.”
“Did you try it?” asked Twilight.
“Just a little taste,” he said. “Tasty, but not quite so the cats’ pyjamas as everypony is making it out to be. And I’ve seen some fashionable feline nightwear in my time, let me tell you.”
Twilight rubbed her chin in thought. “That explains why Spike can’t hear the temptation. The griffons and changelings and such around town seem to be perfectly normal too.”
“I’d have looked into it deeper, but I’ve been keeping busy around here,” said Discord, suddenly in a pair of overalls and a straw hat. “Taking care of the little critters while Fluttershy’s… indisposed. I’m just lucky I can get in my chaos quota.”
“We’ll look into it, Discord,” Twilight promised. “We just need to check on Applejack, then we’ll hit Sugarcube Corner.”
“I haven’t seen your pome-preferring pony pal, I’m afraid. Though I couldn’t taste a lick of apple in those cakes, so chances are she hasn’t touched it.”
“That tracks,” said Spike. “Maybe we’ll get some extra help after all.
Twilight and Spike travelled across Ponyville, making their way to Sweet Apple Acres on the outskirts. On the way, the alicorn continued to worry about the sheer amount of globular ponies jiggling around, all either stuffing themselves with that cake, or eagerly waiting to get some more from Sugarcube Corner. And like her friends, none of them seemed to care that they could barely use their hooves, if they’d even noticed the fact at all. Though, the sun starting to set meant the line was getting shorter, so it wouldn’t be long before she could get some answers.
Though, what bothered her the most was the cake itself. Every time she locked eyes on a slice of the dessert, she could hear that sickeningly sweet voice purring in her head.
Eat me… eat me…
She shook her head and swallowed the puddle of drool forming in her mouth. It was starting to scare her how the voice was getting louder each time… and more tempting.
“Spike,” she said, “if something happens to me because of these cakes, I want you to take everything we’ve learned to Starlight and help her come up with a cure.”
“Oh, it won’t be that bad, Twilight,” Spike assured her, then added after a pause, “Really, everypony seems to be mostly in their right mind.”
“But coming under that curse might mean I won’t want to see this through,” said Twilight. “I need to keep my head on straight if I can.”
The two ventured toward Sweet Apple Acres, which seemed to be normal. The trees in the sprawling orchard seemed to be as healthy as ever, and the farmyard itself was still in fine condition.
“Maybe Applejack really is still normal,” Spike said with some hope in his voice.
WHAM!
The two immediately looked toward the orchard, and saw one of the trees violently shaking.
“Well, that’s a good sign,” Twilight said with a smile. She knew exactly what that was.
The two raced into the orchard, following the heavy thuds of wood. And when they got to the source, they slowed to a stop. Their smiles fell hard.
“No…” Twilight breathed.
She stopped in front of a large purple dome, a loosely tied dark blonde tail dangling down its curvature. On each side was a cutie mark - a trio of plump juicy apples.
“Applejack?!” Spike blurted out, causing the gigantic dome to turn around and reveal a plump earth pony attached to the front. On her head was a cowpony hat, a dark blonde ponytail flowing down it over her shoulder.
“Well butter mah buns an’ call me a fritter!” she gasped, a big smile dimpling her cheeks. “Ah wasn’t expectin’ ya so soon! Y’all look just as young as ever, Twilight!”
Twilight mumbled something about alicorn anatomy through her own cheeks being smooshed by Applejack’s hooves, but it went unnoticed.
“An’ y’all’re gettin’ real big there, Spike,” she went on, ruffling Spike’s head frills. The dragon couldn’t help but grin at the affection.
“How have you been, Applejack?” asked Twilight.
“Can’t complain,” she said. “Farm’s still chuggin’ along mighty fine. Big Mac’s gone on a delivery trip an’ he’s took Apple Bloom an’ his missus with him, an’ Granny Smith’s on her Las Pegasus trip. So Ah’m just holdin’ down the fort.”
“Hasn’t been too much work for you?” asked Spike.
Applejack shook her head. “Not really. Ah dunno why, but Ah can’t get mah legs up ta buck trees like Ah used ta these days. But, well, watch this .”
She sashayed to another tree, her gigantic rump audibly bouncing as she went. Twilight almost found it hypnotic, like a lava lamp. Applejack cocked her hip, aiming her flank at the trunk.
WHAM!
Her haunch slammed into the tree with enough force for Twilight and Spike to feel a slight shockwave. The tree, and multiple others around it, shook enough to send the apples hanging on their branches toppling down into the baskets set at their bases.
“Dunno what’s got inta me, but Ah can harvest the whole orchard mahself in half the time!” Applejack raised her chins, her dark purple bulk beaming with pride. “How’s that fer productive?”
“That’s really impressive,” Twilight said, choosing her words carefully. Spike nodded in agreement. “Hey, unrelated, but have you heard about Pinkie Pie?”
“Oh, ya mean the cakes she’s throwin’ out around town?” Applejack nodded. “Sure, Ah had a bit mahself. Mighty good cake, but if ya ask me, it needs a lot more apple.”
Twilight slyly darted her eyes around Applejack’s bulk. Apart from her gigantic bottom and thighs, she was certainly the slimmest of her friends.
“Don’t get me wrong now,” Applejack went on, “Ah’ll be glad ta have another one’a them if Pinkie sends one mah way, but Ah ain’t fixin’ ta go all the way inta town just fer that.”
Twilight almost couldn’t find the words for the relief she felt. “Well, I’m glad you haven’t gone cake-crazy.”
“Ah ain’t had ta go inta town anyway,” Applejack went on. “They’ve been comin’ ta me.”
“You’re getting them delivered?” guessed Spike.
“Not really,” Applejack said with a roll of her thick hoof. Then she craned her thick neck. “Ooh, here’s one now!”
Twilight and Spike looked over their shoulders, and indeed, one of those black and purple cakes was weaving through the trees toward them. It only stopped just under Applejack’s nose, which twitched at the sweet scent.
“Oh, mah land,” she gasped, her eyes widening. “Is that apple Ah smell?!”
“Well, so much for that,” Spike said flatly, he and Twilight watching Applejack take a big messy bite out of the dessert.
“Mm, that’sh more like it,” she moaned, crumbs falling to the ground as she spoke. She swallowed and held the cake toward the alicorn. “Ya want some, sugarcube?”
Eat me… Twilight heard in her head. The voice was louder, more enticing, even more tempting. Eat me…!
Her ears lowered and she pushed the cake tin back with more force than she intended. “I’m okay, thanks!”
With a shrug, Applejack plonked her backside on the ground with a whump and started greedily gobbling up the cake. “Mmff… Ah’ll shee ya fer Pinkie’sh party… mm, sho good…”
Twilight and Spike awkwardly said their goodbyes before powerwalking back the way they came.
“Kinda funny that she was the least affected by the cake,” said Spike, a smirk tugging at his mouth. “Y’know, with how caked up she is?”
Twilight answered with an unamused aside glare, then sighed. “Looks like it’s just you and me, Spike.”
“Sugarcube Corner should be closing about now,” said Spike, seeing the sky starting to darken. “Pinkie’s gotta let us in after hours.”
Twilight swallowed and puffed out her chest. She furrowed her brow with a determined frown.
“You’re right, Spike. It’s time to get some answers.”
If You Can't Handle the Sweet...
Stars twinkled in the night sky above Ponyville by the time Twilight and Spike returned. The town had become very quiet. Almost unsettlingly so. They could hear the faint sounds of chomping and moaning in every home they passed.
Just as Twilight expected, the line outside Sugarcube Corner had disappeared, but thankfully the lights were still on and the interior was devoid of cake-rabid blob ponies. It was now or never.
The alicorn’s horn glowed, and the two suddenly found themselves inside the bakery. The shopfront was eerily quiet, the only sounds being claw and hoof falls on wood. The smell of fresh baking hung in the air. Those same dark cakes sat in the display windows, taunting Twilight as she did her best to ignore them.
“Is she even here?” Spike wondered.
“She has to be,” said Twilight. “Who else could bake that much cake so fast?”
“I don’t hear any bouncing or singing,” Spike remarked, just before the princess slapped a hoof over his mouth.
“But I hear baking ,” Twilight said, her ears pointing up. They twitched as they picked up the sounds of wooden spoons tapping bowls and knives hitting cutting boards.
“That’s pretty quiet for her,” Spike pointed out. “We should check it out.”
“Agreed.”
The two passed the counter and entered the kitchen, and their jaws dropped at the sight waiting for them inside. Instead of finding a pink pony speeding around and baking a breakneck speed, utensils and ingredients were magically mixing and baking themselves. Whisks mixing bowls of eggs and flour, pins rolling mounds of black dough, ovens opening to allow trays of cakes to slide into them.
“Pinkie isn’t behind this at all,” Spike realised. “It’s like something’s cursed the kitchen!”
“Something, or someone ,” Twilight said grimly.
CRASH!!
The two jumped from a tremor powerful enough to rattle every unenchanted utensil, almost sending eggs hurtling to the floor.
“That came from the shopfront!” Twilight gasped. The two raced back out and skidded to a halt. Twilight leaned her front hooves on the counter, finding herself completely devoid of words at what was before her.
A house-sized glob of quaking dark purple fur loomed over her and Spike, having fallen through a brand new giant hole in the ceiling. The only way Twilight could tell it was Pinkie was by the dimly shaded curly mane and tail, and by the cutie marks of overinflated balloons on her overinflated flanks. Her hooves had sunken into her useless mounds of leg blubber. Her cart-sized dome of a stomach bounced and jiggled over her as she splayed out on her back, her gelatinous plot squashed out on the floor. Twilight’s ears flicked at the audible sloshes and glorps of Pinkie’s overstocked fat reserves wobbling from being disturbed so suddenly.
“Pinkie?!” Twilight and Spike both gasped.
“Oh, you silly filly,” they heard from where Pinkie’s face should be. A mature female voice that didn’t match the glob at all. “I told you about gulping down too much at once, didn’t I?”
A deep, bass giggle erupted from the mass of mare in response to the playful scolding. Spike ducked his head back to avoid being knocked away by her elephantine hind legs wiggling in slow motion.
“Well, the main thing is you’re not hurt,” the voice went on, in a soothing motherly tone. “Here, I know what will help you feel better.”
Wasting no more time, Twilight spread her wings and shot into the air for a better look. She saw a black-coated unicorn mare lounging on Pinkie’s soft fluffy chest, gently tickling the enormous earth pony’s thick chins. The mare sported what could be called a foal-bearing figure, with some ample flanks that sported the cutie mark of a lollipop sticking out of a cauldron. On her head was a crooked witch’s hat, her lavender mane flowing from beneath it.
“Who are you?” Twilight demanded. “Did you do this to Pinkie?”
“Why, Princess Twilight Sparkle,” the mare said, getting to her hooves and turning to fix the alicorn with a calm, amused smile. “What a delight it is to finally meet you.”
She raised her front leg and bowed her head. “My name is Spellbound. Like you, I’m a practitioner of the arcane.”
“You look like a witch to me,” said Spike, who had just finished climbing to the summit of Pinkie’s gut to join Twilight.
“Spike,” Twilight hissed.
“Oh, quite alright,” Spellbound said warmly. “I suppose with how I practise, that isn’t far off.”
Twilight gently touched down on Pinkie’s stomach to get eye-to-eye with her. “Are you saying you did this to Pinkie? To Ponyville?”
“The result of my latest experiment,” said Spellbound, her smile turning proud. “Amazing, isn’t it?”
“How did you do all this?” asked Twilight. “And why ?”
“I’ll start with the ‘how’,” said Spellbound. She sent small ripples through Pinkie’s expanse as she slowly paced around the princess. “Do you remember when you and your friends defeated Nightmare Moon? The thousandth Summer Sun Celebration?”
Twilight nodded. “Of course.”
“Quite the feat, I must say.” Spellbound stopped with her flanks facing Twilight. She looked over her shoulder, her eyelids half-lowered with a smirk. “Though, I’m sure a smart pony like you knows that not even the Elements of Harmony can truly eliminate evil from the world.”
Twilight felt a chill down her spine. “What are you talking about?” she asked, trying to control the shake in her voice.
Spellbound turned to face Twilight, her smile having become a mischievous smirk. “You see, when Nightmare Moon was bested, the magic that corrupted her hadn’t been destroyed, but instead shattered and separated in the wind, like broken glass. And how lucky am I that some of those shards had found their way to me. Of course, they weren’t the first entities of pure magic I’ve happened upon during my regular evening constitutional. I was quick to capture them and, once learning what exactly they were, eager to find a way to use them.”
Twilight kept silent, which Spellbound took as an invitation to continue. “Much like your friend here, I fancy myself a baker. Though, I love to see creatures looking properly fed, and I’ve made sure my treats have that effect. But infusing a gluttony spell with Nightmare Moon’s raw power, that was certainly a challenge. But one I persevered in and finally found success with. The only thing I needed was somepony to test it on, and who better than darling Pinkie here?”
“So you made Pinkie bake all those cakes?” Twilight gritted her teeth, her ears flattened.
“I didn’t make her do anything,” said Spellbound coolly. “Once she had a bite of what I like to call Dark Batter, she was more than happy to start sharing it around with all her friends. Of course, as you can see, she’s quite an eager taste tester, so I used my magic to take over the kitchen while I tended to her needs. Most of those being my cakes, of course.”
“But why would you do this?” asked Twilight. “What are you gaining from fattening up Ponyville?”
Spellbound’s smile turned warm once again, growing ear-to-ear. “Oh, that’s simple: because everypony looks so much better all round and soft. Better to be fat and happy than skinny and miserable, yes?”
“Everypony here is too fat!” Spike piped up.
“Ahh, but they’re just as happy, are they not?” Spellbound pointed out. “Did you see any miserable souls out there? Pinkie here is certainly the happiest of them all.”
“But it seems your little curse had a fault,” said Twilight, haughtily puffing out her chest. “It doesn’t work on non-ponies.”
Spellbound rubbed her chin. “Yes, that’s an interesting development. Perhaps you’d be willing to help me figure that part out, Princess? I know how magically inclined you are, and with your help, I can start… expanding .” She allowed herself a giggle at her pun.
“Why in Equestria would I ever agree to help you?!” barked Twilight, her wings ruffling. “You’re not fattening up my realm, not while I can help it!”
Spellbound’s dark smirk returned, and with a lavender glow of her horn, one of her Dark Batter cakes popped out of thin air under Twilight’s nose.
“But can you help it?” she asked. “I’ve seen you around town. You’ve been tempted, haven’t you? You’ve wanted just a bite of my cakes. Just the smallest nibble to sate your curiosity. What is it about these treats that’s gotten the whole town in a craze about them?”
Twilight stood her ground, but she could feel her heart start racing. Spellbound’s voice was like sweet cream flowing into her ears, and the worst part was she was right. Twilight was curious. She did want to know why those cakes were good enough to let Ponyville become corrupted by sheer gluttony.
Eat me… EAT ME…!
The alicorn let out the smallest whimper. Spellbound’s coy smile told her everything. She knew exactly about the temptation Twilight was fighting.
“Don’t give in, Twilight!” cheered Spike. “You’re stronger than some pesky old wi–mmf!” He was suddenly caught and tied up in a tablecloth like a sack.
“Tut tut, little dragon,” Spellbound scolded gently, the glow vanishing from her horn. “No one likes a name caller.”
Twilight blinked, just barely managing to get her wits about her. She shook her head and wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth. She carefully pushed the cake away from her by the rim of the plate.
“Spellbound, you can’t mess with somepony’s physical fitness like that,” she lectured. “Even if it’s for an experiment that you think is important, you’re forcing it onto ponies without their permission, and they need to be–mmff?!” she mumbled, cut off by the cake suddenly being shoved into her face.
“Oops,” Spellbound said, deadpan. “Terribly sorry, Princess.”
Instinctively, Twilight lapped at the dessert on her face, but when she stopped herself it was too late. The Dark Batter had reached her taste buds. Her eyes widened at the sensation. The sweetness of the chocolate, the soft texture of the batter, the fluffy soft icing. Everything came together to create the greatest sugary treat she’d ever had.
“Mother of Celestia,” she breathed, before licking at the mess some more. “I get it now!”
“Oh, do you?” Spellbound asked, not even trying to sound surprised. Her smirk grew as Twilight’s coat slowly turned a darker shade of purple, spreading out from her nose.
“I see why everypony’s so cake-crazy!” Twilight chirped. The stars on her cutie mark started to swell, their points growing blunt. “This is incredible !”
“I’m so glad you think so,” said Spellbound with faux relief. “Now if only I could get them to appeal to non-ponies.”
“Oh, I think I can help with that,” Twilight offered, gleefully taking the bait. “Every creature in Equestria needs to see how delicious these cakes are!”
“If it wouldn’t be a burden, Princess.” Spellbound gave Twilight a grateful smile, despite knowing the answer. “I’d love to put your magical expertise to use. Of course, I’ll make sure you’re paid properly.”
The witch punctuated her implication by conjuring another cake, causing Twilight’s blackcurrant coloured face to light up. Another cake floated toward Pinkie’s maw to keep her sated below.
“Leave it to me,” the alicorn assured her, snatching the cake in her magical grip and greedily biting into it. “Mmff…!”
“I’m very grateful, Your Highness,” purred Spellbound. She stood next to Twilight and set a hoof on her flank, her tail flicking as she felt the princess’s haunch swelling rounder and softer. “How about we start with those pesky griffins? They’re much too aerial, if you ask me. And your friend Starlight, I’m sure you know where she’s hiding…”
